0:00:02 > 0:00:05This programme contains strong language
0:00:05 > 0:00:09They want us to refocus the show on the boys and less on you and Morning.
0:00:09 > 0:00:11They think Stoke is a break-out star.
0:00:11 > 0:00:14With the hair?! It always comes down to the fucking hair!
0:00:14 > 0:00:17I'm sure it's just swollen. It'll come down.
0:00:17 > 0:00:20It already came down.
0:00:20 > 0:00:22It's a cheek implant. It's supposed to be up!
0:00:22 > 0:00:24Is it terrible?
0:00:24 > 0:00:27Um, why don't you, er, go over to the set and, er,
0:00:27 > 0:00:29so, so we can see it in the light.
0:00:29 > 0:00:30OK.
0:00:30 > 0:00:33Yeah, cos light's gonna help(!)
0:00:33 > 0:00:35500 feet, Labia, 500 feet!
0:00:35 > 0:00:39- How long has she been stalking you? - I met her when she was like eight.
0:00:39 > 0:00:42- She was one of those Make A Wish kids.- Oh my God!
0:00:42 > 0:00:45- I slept with her once. Once! - Oh, God!
0:00:45 > 0:00:49She was 18 and really cute, once her hair grew back.
0:00:49 > 0:00:51I believe you will burn in hell.
0:00:51 > 0:00:53Ah, what are you going to do about it?!
0:01:46 > 0:01:49- Hi.- Jesus! Fuck!
0:01:49 > 0:01:52I was hoping you wouldn't come home yet. The cookies aren't ready.
0:01:52 > 0:01:54How the hell did you get in here?!
0:01:54 > 0:01:56The laundry room window was open.
0:01:56 > 0:01:59You know, you should talk to Rosa, cos that's not smart.
0:01:59 > 0:02:02OK, the fact that you know my housekeeper's name
0:02:02 > 0:02:06may be the scariest thing out of a lot of scary things.
0:02:06 > 0:02:10- You want milk with your cookies? - No!- Beer?
0:02:10 > 0:02:12Sure.
0:02:17 > 0:02:19So, is this place a rental?
0:02:19 > 0:02:22Because it doesn't really feel like you.
0:02:22 > 0:02:27Yeah, it's a rental. It's closer to the studio.
0:02:27 > 0:02:29That makes sense.
0:02:29 > 0:02:32Because the commute to your beach place is nuts.
0:02:32 > 0:02:34Whenever I drive out there to sit in front of your house,
0:02:34 > 0:02:36the traffic, oh, my God, it's like...
0:02:36 > 0:02:40this is almost not worth it.
0:02:40 > 0:02:41Where are your clothes?
0:02:41 > 0:02:46- Why?- Why?! Because you're standing here in my house naked!
0:02:46 > 0:02:49I'm not naked. I like to leave a little mystery.
0:02:49 > 0:02:52Yeah. It's like Agatha Christie down there.
0:02:52 > 0:02:55- I could take them off if you want. - No!
0:02:55 > 0:02:59I want you to put the rest of your shit on and go. Go!
0:02:59 > 0:03:03Why are you being so mean? I'm making you cookies.
0:03:03 > 0:03:06I'm not being mean. I'm tired and I want to go to bed.
0:03:08 > 0:03:10- Alone.- You are being mean.
0:03:11 > 0:03:13I have cancer.
0:03:15 > 0:03:17You HAD cancer.
0:03:17 > 0:03:19And you survived.
0:03:19 > 0:03:22And you're healthy, and that's awesome.
0:03:22 > 0:03:25And it's why I feel OK saying to you -
0:03:25 > 0:03:29get the fuck out of my house, you crazy Loony Tunes freak!
0:03:29 > 0:03:30BELL RINGS Oh! My cookies.
0:03:33 > 0:03:35All right. I'm calling the police.
0:03:35 > 0:03:39- If you don't want to be here when they come, you should go now.- OK.
0:03:41 > 0:03:43- I love you so much.- I know.
0:03:43 > 0:03:46- No-one will ever love you like I do. - Uh-huh.- I mean it.
0:03:46 > 0:03:49I would die for you.
0:03:49 > 0:03:52Yeah, but you didn't.
0:04:00 > 0:04:02So, how are we doing here?
0:04:02 > 0:04:04Almost done. It just has to set.
0:04:04 > 0:04:06And this is really going to work?
0:04:06 > 0:04:10Absolutely. These men are wizards, they can do anything.
0:04:12 > 0:04:13It is going to work, right?
0:04:14 > 0:04:19- Got me.- Beverly, this is my kid brother, Rob. Feel free to hit him.
0:04:19 > 0:04:21Oh, what, oh, so you're not one of the special effects wizards?
0:04:21 > 0:04:24Oh, no, no, no, no, I just drove her in.
0:04:24 > 0:04:27What do you say we take a look at this on camera?
0:04:27 > 0:04:32Ho, ho, she is really feeling those pain pills.
0:04:32 > 0:04:34- Sorry?- "Kid brother?"
0:04:35 > 0:04:39She stopped telling people I was her kid brother 20 years ago.
0:04:39 > 0:04:42- You're not really, are you? - What?- Younger?
0:04:42 > 0:04:44Three years.
0:04:44 > 0:04:47Hey, I don't have a team of doctors working on me full-time.
0:04:48 > 0:04:53But on the other hand, both my cheeks are in the right place.
0:04:53 > 0:04:55Well it's insane.
0:04:55 > 0:04:59Why does she do it? She's so beautiful.
0:04:59 > 0:05:01Sure, now.
0:05:03 > 0:05:05You see, it just misses it.
0:05:09 > 0:05:12PHONE RINGTONE
0:05:13 > 0:05:14Yo.
0:05:14 > 0:05:16'Hold for Merc Lapidus...'
0:05:16 > 0:05:18Oh!
0:05:18 > 0:05:20- Matty!- Mercky!
0:05:21 > 0:05:25'You know that Man of the Year thing you're going to be giving me?'
0:05:25 > 0:05:28- Do you know what you're going to say yet?- Well no, not yet.
0:05:28 > 0:05:30I've still got a couple of weeks, right?
0:05:30 > 0:05:33Oh yeah, yeah. By the way, if you're doing any jokes,
0:05:33 > 0:05:35maybe don't mention the bald thing.
0:05:35 > 0:05:37I'm thinking of getting these microplugs.
0:05:37 > 0:05:40I'd rather not shine a light up there, if you know what I mean?
0:05:40 > 0:05:41What are you talking about?
0:05:41 > 0:05:44You don't need microplugs, you look great.
0:05:44 > 0:05:47Ah, you're sweet. Listen, there was one other thing.
0:05:47 > 0:05:49Sure.
0:05:49 > 0:05:52We've started talking about what we want to promote for sweeps.
0:05:52 > 0:05:56And we really want to make a push for Pucks!
0:05:56 > 0:05:57So, we need something big.
0:05:58 > 0:06:02Maybe you could get that kid to grow his hair a little longer.
0:06:02 > 0:06:06- 'I'd watch that.'- Ah, funny. Well, here's what I'm thinking...
0:06:06 > 0:06:11Any chance you could get one of the other Friends to do a guest spot?
0:06:11 > 0:06:14Yeah, here's what's a little weird.
0:06:14 > 0:06:16A couple of weeks ago you're cutting my part down to nothing.
0:06:16 > 0:06:19Now you're calling asking me for favours...
0:06:19 > 0:06:22'Hey, hey, hey, it's all for the good of the show.'
0:06:22 > 0:06:23Totally get that.
0:06:23 > 0:06:25But right now I'm also thinking about the good of me.
0:06:25 > 0:06:26OK, how about this?
0:06:26 > 0:06:30You get me one of the Friends and I give you my word
0:06:30 > 0:06:35all of our Pucks! Promotion will be about you. And not about the hair.
0:06:35 > 0:06:39- No hair.- I said, no hair.
0:06:40 > 0:06:43All right, let me make a few calls.
0:06:43 > 0:06:46Great. And hey, listen, we gotta do lunch again soon.
0:06:46 > 0:06:48I miss you, you bastard.
0:06:48 > 0:06:51Absolutely. Any time, I'd love it.
0:06:51 > 0:06:53Asshole!
0:06:53 > 0:06:54Douche bag!
0:06:57 > 0:07:00Right. Here's our lovely Morning Randolph, "before",
0:07:00 > 0:07:02looking a tad blue-ish.
0:07:02 > 0:07:04And here, forty thousand dollars later,
0:07:04 > 0:07:07is how she's going to look on TV.
0:07:08 > 0:07:10Wow!
0:07:11 > 0:07:14Seriously you guys, thank you. You've saved my life.
0:07:14 > 0:07:16Well, it's all in a day's work...
0:07:16 > 0:07:17if you've got a very strange job.
0:07:17 > 0:07:19Right, catastrophe averted.
0:07:19 > 0:07:21Why don't we all get back to work?
0:07:24 > 0:07:26Isn't that amazing?
0:07:26 > 0:07:27Yeah.
0:07:27 > 0:07:29Rather blase.
0:07:31 > 0:07:33Er, I was in Lost In Space.
0:07:33 > 0:07:35We weren't actually "lost in space."
0:07:35 > 0:07:39Ah. Didn't see it.
0:07:39 > 0:07:41- Really?- Hmm. - I've seen all your movies.
0:07:44 > 0:07:46Hey, can I talk to you for a sec?
0:07:46 > 0:07:47Sure. What's up?
0:07:47 > 0:07:51My brother thought you were great. And he doesn't like anyone.
0:07:51 > 0:07:52A man after my own heart.
0:07:52 > 0:07:55Anyway, he wanted to know if you were available,
0:07:55 > 0:07:58so, I said I'd suss it out. So, this is me sussing.
0:07:58 > 0:08:01Oh, good-goodness.
0:08:01 > 0:08:06Um... Well, why don't we suss over here?
0:08:06 > 0:08:07Oh, gotcha.
0:08:11 > 0:08:14Er, I think your brother is very nice, but, um,
0:08:14 > 0:08:18I'm not doing anything until I'm certain what's happening with, er...
0:08:20 > 0:08:22..me and Sean.
0:08:22 > 0:08:26Oh. Wow. OK, sure.
0:08:26 > 0:08:27Absolutely.
0:08:27 > 0:08:29No problem.
0:08:31 > 0:08:33Aw.
0:08:35 > 0:08:37I'm getting pity looks from Morning.
0:08:37 > 0:08:41Pity looks! My life has hit a new low.
0:08:41 > 0:08:44- Aww.- I don't need them from you, too.
0:08:44 > 0:08:46Oh, I'm sorry, I just...oh.
0:08:46 > 0:08:48Look, I think it's great you're waiting for Sean,
0:08:48 > 0:08:50but I've got to say, at a certain point,
0:08:50 > 0:08:54don't you think it's maybe time to think about...
0:08:56 > 0:08:57- Moving on?- Yeah.
0:08:57 > 0:09:00- We're going to have the "moving on" conversation again.- Well...
0:09:00 > 0:09:03Which, by the way, coming from you is so steeped in irony.
0:09:03 > 0:09:05Hey! No need to get mean.
0:09:05 > 0:09:07Let's keep it hikey here.
0:09:07 > 0:09:09Sorry.
0:09:09 > 0:09:12So, how is the brother? Is he cute?
0:09:12 > 0:09:15Oh, I'd say way past cute.
0:09:15 > 0:09:17Like hot?
0:09:17 > 0:09:19Not that I'd notice, but, oh, my God!
0:09:19 > 0:09:23Oh. Oh. Then maybe one date. One date.
0:09:23 > 0:09:27A cup of coffee with a guy is hardly moving on.
0:09:27 > 0:09:29- No.- Oh...- No, no, no!
0:09:29 > 0:09:34Meanwhile, has Sean been doing any moving on?
0:09:35 > 0:09:36Tell me.
0:09:39 > 0:09:44I found out he... had a little thing with Morning.
0:09:44 > 0:09:45Shut the front door!
0:09:46 > 0:09:49Apparently it was just one time.
0:09:49 > 0:09:51That is crazy!
0:09:51 > 0:09:55- And now she's trying to fix you up with her brother!- Oh.
0:09:55 > 0:09:59How wild would it be if Sean ended up with Morning
0:09:59 > 0:10:00and you ended up with the brother?
0:10:00 > 0:10:04Oh! I am so going to make that a show!
0:10:04 > 0:10:05Oh, come on.
0:10:05 > 0:10:10A husband and wife get divorced and hook up with a brother and sister?
0:10:10 > 0:10:14If someone pitched me that, I'd buy it in the room!
0:10:14 > 0:10:17Oh! Unless you and Sean want to write it!
0:10:19 > 0:10:20I mean it.
0:10:20 > 0:10:25I will guarantee you six on the air, right here!
0:10:25 > 0:10:26On this trail.
0:10:29 > 0:10:32Lisa Kudrow! Hey!
0:10:32 > 0:10:33It's Matt LeBlanc.
0:10:36 > 0:10:40Hello? Oh, you didn't say anything, so... How are you?
0:10:42 > 0:10:45Well, "fine" is good. Better than not fine.
0:10:45 > 0:10:50So, er, listen, you know I got this little TV show, right?
0:10:51 > 0:10:53Well, I do.
0:10:53 > 0:10:55Now, I know you're really, really busy,
0:10:55 > 0:10:59but any chance you might want to do a guest thing?
0:11:01 > 0:11:03Apologise? For what?
0:11:06 > 0:11:08I said that?
0:11:08 > 0:11:09Was I drunk?
0:11:11 > 0:11:13No, no, I'm not saying that makes it OK, but...
0:11:15 > 0:11:19Well, if I said that, I...
0:11:19 > 0:11:22OK, OK, no, I believe you, I said it.
0:11:24 > 0:11:26Well, I am incredibly sorry.
0:11:29 > 0:11:30Lisa...
0:11:30 > 0:11:34Lisa. Lisa! I don't know what more I can say.
0:11:34 > 0:11:36I apologise.
0:11:36 > 0:11:41But seriously, a person can't make an innocent comment one time and...?
0:11:43 > 0:11:46Jesus! When did I say that?!
0:11:46 > 0:11:50David, David, David...
0:11:50 > 0:11:52I don't know what joke you're talking about.
0:11:52 > 0:11:55Tell me what I said to you.
0:11:57 > 0:11:59How is that anti-Semitic?
0:12:00 > 0:12:02Oh. No, I can see that.
0:12:05 > 0:12:08You've got to admit though, it's still kind of funny.
0:12:08 > 0:12:10Mr Perry!
0:12:10 > 0:12:12How the hell are you?
0:12:12 > 0:12:16So, listen, you know I have this little show, right?
0:12:16 > 0:12:18I was wondering...
0:12:18 > 0:12:21Who said you're not the first one I called?
0:12:21 > 0:12:23Schwimmer's an asshole!
0:12:23 > 0:12:25I never said you were an asshole!
0:12:25 > 0:12:30No, I did not! I did not!
0:12:30 > 0:12:32I don't know. He was probably high.
0:12:32 > 0:12:36If I said you were high, I was obviously kidding.
0:12:38 > 0:12:40It was a joke!
0:12:42 > 0:12:45So you and Schwimmer still talk a lot.
0:12:48 > 0:12:51Carol from the network called.
0:12:51 > 0:12:52Which one's Carol?
0:12:52 > 0:12:55The one you always say "which one's Carol?"
0:12:55 > 0:12:57She's right under Merc.
0:12:57 > 0:12:59- Also literally.- Oh, right.
0:12:59 > 0:13:03She was asking where you are on the Friends guest star thing.
0:13:03 > 0:13:06- Jesus! I'm working on it.- All right.
0:13:06 > 0:13:10Well, she just needs to know so they can get started on promotion.
0:13:10 > 0:13:13Right. Well, tell Carol she'll be the first to hear.
0:13:13 > 0:13:16Till then she can just back the fuck off.
0:13:16 > 0:13:18I may paraphrase.
0:13:18 > 0:13:19Hmm.
0:13:28 > 0:13:30Is it diminishing at all?
0:13:32 > 0:13:33Do you need more teeth?
0:13:42 > 0:13:44Fuck! Anyway, I need a favour.
0:13:44 > 0:13:47I have to present this stupid award thing to Merc.
0:13:47 > 0:13:50- Right, we just got the invitation. - We don't have to go, do we?
0:13:50 > 0:13:53Probably. It's a good cause.
0:13:53 > 0:13:55- Which is?- Some opera bullshit.- Ah.
0:13:55 > 0:13:58Well, anyway, I was wondering if you guys could write me
0:13:58 > 0:13:59a little something to say.
0:13:59 > 0:14:01Just some crap about Merc for when I present it.
0:14:01 > 0:14:04I suppose. It's not really what we do.
0:14:04 > 0:14:05Are you kidding me?
0:14:05 > 0:14:08You guys will knock it out in two seconds.
0:14:08 > 0:14:10It just needs to be funny. Throw in some bald jokes.
0:14:10 > 0:14:13Whatever you come up with will be great, you guys are amazing.
0:14:13 > 0:14:15When do you need it?
0:14:15 > 0:14:19Sooner the better, you know, in case I don't like it, you could take another pass.
0:14:22 > 0:14:23Hey.
0:14:23 > 0:14:26So I hear we're getting one of the Friends on the show.
0:14:26 > 0:14:28Yup.
0:14:28 > 0:14:31- Awesome.- Very cool, man.
0:14:31 > 0:14:35- I can't believe we're going to be working with one of the Friends. - Yeah.
0:14:36 > 0:14:39Hi, it's Matt LeBlanc for Jennifer.
0:14:41 > 0:14:42Oh, OK.
0:14:43 > 0:14:44Yeah, I just tried her cell
0:14:44 > 0:14:46and it doesn't seem to be in service any more.
0:14:46 > 0:14:48Can you give me the new number?
0:14:48 > 0:14:50I'm sure she'll be fine with it.
0:14:52 > 0:14:56She gave me the old one, why wouldn't she want me to..?
0:14:56 > 0:14:57Is Alison there?
0:14:59 > 0:15:01Oh, well when did she leave?
0:15:03 > 0:15:05Have we met?
0:15:06 > 0:15:09Well, hello.
0:15:09 > 0:15:10Yeah, I can hold.
0:15:13 > 0:15:15Oh, shall we get some dinner in?
0:15:15 > 0:15:17- Nah. We can blow through this.- OK.
0:15:17 > 0:15:19So, they introduce Matt.
0:15:19 > 0:15:21He comes up on stage. Applause, applause, applause.
0:15:21 > 0:15:26- Right.- Then how about something like, "When I was first asked"
0:15:26 > 0:15:30"to present this award to our Man of the Year,"
0:15:30 > 0:15:33"I thought..."
0:15:37 > 0:15:39- What, you thought what? - That's all I've got.- Oh.
0:15:41 > 0:15:44He should probably start off with something funny.
0:15:44 > 0:15:46- Definitely.- Ah-ha.
0:15:56 > 0:16:00- What are you thinking? - Pizza or Thai?- Thai.- Hmm.
0:16:00 > 0:16:02Matt comes out. Applause, applause, applause.
0:16:02 > 0:16:05You don't have to say "applause, applause, applause" each time.
0:16:05 > 0:16:07OK, clap, clap, clap. Maybe Matt goes,
0:16:07 > 0:16:10"What can I say about my good friend, Merc Lapidus?"
0:16:10 > 0:16:14- What can he say?- I don't know, he's not our good friend.- No.
0:16:15 > 0:16:17All right.
0:16:17 > 0:16:19What do we know about him?
0:16:19 > 0:16:21- Well, he's lied to us repeatedly.- Yeah.
0:16:21 > 0:16:23He destroyed our TV show.
0:16:23 > 0:16:26- Absolutely. - He's cheating on his wife.
0:16:26 > 0:16:28- Yeah.- Oh, he's only got one testicle.
0:16:34 > 0:16:35Has he?
0:16:35 > 0:16:36Carol told me.
0:16:40 > 0:16:42Look, Courtney, I understand.
0:16:42 > 0:16:43If you can't do it, you can't do it.
0:16:43 > 0:16:45Don't worry about it.
0:16:45 > 0:16:49But while I've got you, can you give me Jen's number?
0:16:52 > 0:16:54Why wouldn't she want to talk to me?
0:16:55 > 0:16:57It was funny.
0:16:57 > 0:16:58People laughed.
0:17:01 > 0:17:03I so did not pee on her Emmy.
0:17:04 > 0:17:06Because I would never do that.
0:17:08 > 0:17:11Yeah, I pulled it out, but I never peed.
0:17:12 > 0:17:15Never. Never!
0:17:18 > 0:17:21Well, if I dribbled, I'm sorry, but come on.
0:17:21 > 0:17:23It was ten years ago!
0:17:23 > 0:17:25You really won't give me her number?
0:17:27 > 0:17:28Seriously?
0:17:30 > 0:17:32You really won't?
0:17:34 > 0:17:38- (MUMBLES)- Fuck you! No, I did not just say fuck you.
0:17:43 > 0:17:45All right, how's this?
0:17:45 > 0:17:47"Being a network president requires many things.
0:17:47 > 0:17:50"You need passion, you need perception,
0:17:50 > 0:17:51"but apparently you don't need hair."
0:17:51 > 0:17:56- That's good, I like it, let's do it. - Are you saying that just so we can get out of here?
0:17:56 > 0:17:59- I want to go home! - You think I don't?!
0:17:59 > 0:18:02We don't know how to write this shit! It's not what we do!
0:18:02 > 0:18:03- I know that!- Don't yell at me!
0:18:03 > 0:18:06- Why did we agree to do this? - Why do we agree to do anything?!
0:18:06 > 0:18:10I hate us! I hate Matt! I hate Merc!
0:18:10 > 0:18:13And why are we doing this without alcohol?!
0:18:13 > 0:18:16What makes you think he has a bottle here?
0:18:16 > 0:18:17Oh, believe me, Jerry drinks.
0:18:17 > 0:18:20You know this for a fact?
0:18:20 > 0:18:21Sometimes he's drunk in the room.
0:18:21 > 0:18:24One of our writers is drunk in our writers' room?
0:18:24 > 0:18:26You've never noticed?
0:18:26 > 0:18:27No. And you're OK with this?
0:18:27 > 0:18:30It's the only time he's funny.
0:18:30 > 0:18:32Oh, bloody bastard!
0:18:32 > 0:18:33- What?- He stole my pen.
0:18:33 > 0:18:35- No.- This is my pen.- Are you sure?
0:18:35 > 0:18:38Yeah, I'm sure. I've been looking for it.
0:18:38 > 0:18:40This really pisses me off.
0:18:40 > 0:18:43- But you're OK with him being an alcoholic?- We need the jokes.
0:18:44 > 0:18:47It's nice. Is it new?
0:18:47 > 0:18:50- Er...- "Y-C-O-M-T."
0:18:52 > 0:18:55- Oh, it says THAT.- Hmm.- Ha.
0:18:55 > 0:18:58Ah, I guess it's not mine. Sorry, Jerry.
0:19:00 > 0:19:03- Hello.- There we go.
0:19:03 > 0:19:06- This is expensive.- You're thinking we shouldn't take it?
0:19:06 > 0:19:08I'm thinking, if I'd known he had this,
0:19:08 > 0:19:10I would have been in here a long time ago.
0:19:27 > 0:19:31- How's your mother? - Wow! That wasn't random at all.
0:19:31 > 0:19:34I always just remember when we were trying to write that
0:19:34 > 0:19:36song for their anniversary, how hard it was.
0:19:36 > 0:19:38Oh, God! Right.
0:19:38 > 0:19:40How we sang it at the party.
0:19:40 > 0:19:43She kept looking at me with those "fuck you" eyes.
0:19:43 > 0:19:46- Oh, she hated me.- No.
0:19:46 > 0:19:47Well...
0:19:49 > 0:19:53She always blamed me for splitting up you and Emmeline.
0:19:53 > 0:19:54- (BOTH MEWING)- "Emmeline."
0:19:57 > 0:19:58- You did split us up.- What?!
0:19:58 > 0:20:00For which I'm eternally grateful.
0:20:06 > 0:20:10She must be loving what's happened to us now.
0:20:10 > 0:20:15She probably would if I told her.
0:20:15 > 0:20:19- What?- As far as she knows, we're still together.
0:20:19 > 0:20:21You did not!
0:20:21 > 0:20:25I wasn't about to give her the satisfaction.
0:20:25 > 0:20:26But doesn't she wonder where I am?
0:20:26 > 0:20:30No, of course she doesn't. That would mean I'd have to exist.
0:20:34 > 0:20:39- (BOTH MEWING)- "Emmeline!"
0:20:43 > 0:20:45So...
0:20:47 > 0:20:49..you and Morning.
0:20:49 > 0:20:51Always a fun topic.
0:20:51 > 0:20:52Was it everything you'd hoped it would be?
0:20:52 > 0:20:56- I'm not going near that question. - Oh, come on.
0:20:56 > 0:20:59I'm imagining it was like driving
0:20:59 > 0:21:02some amazing German-built sports car.
0:21:02 > 0:21:05You're very aware of all the engineers and mechanics
0:21:05 > 0:21:09who've devoted themselves to creating this one perfect machine.
0:21:09 > 0:21:12Yeah, that and a vagina, and you've pretty much got it.
0:21:19 > 0:21:22- So, was it just that once?- Yeah.
0:21:22 > 0:21:24- No.- No?- Twice.
0:21:24 > 0:21:29Twice. And which time would you say was better?
0:21:29 > 0:21:32Why?
0:21:32 > 0:21:34I'd like to think it was going downhill.
0:21:34 > 0:21:36Definitely downhill.
0:21:36 > 0:21:38Good.
0:21:38 > 0:21:44In fact, the second time... No.
0:21:44 > 0:21:47- Go on.- Ooh, no.- Second time?
0:21:47 > 0:21:53The second time was right after her whole cheek debacle.
0:21:53 > 0:21:56- No. Ew!- She was convinced she was going to be fired.
0:21:56 > 0:22:04I assured her she wasn't. She was "grateful."
0:22:04 > 0:22:07- This is horrible.- I resisted.
0:22:07 > 0:22:10- So strong.- She was persistent.
0:22:10 > 0:22:12- What could you do? - Eventually, she...
0:22:17 > 0:22:18- Thanked you?- Yeah.
0:22:18 > 0:22:19Orally?
0:22:19 > 0:22:20Might have been.
0:22:22 > 0:22:25What a romantic story!
0:22:25 > 0:22:26Thank you.
0:22:44 > 0:22:46So, how about you?
0:22:47 > 0:22:48How about me what?
0:22:49 > 0:22:52Have you been "driving" anything lately?
0:22:52 > 0:22:54No.
0:22:54 > 0:22:55Really? No-one?
0:22:56 > 0:22:58No.
0:22:58 > 0:22:59All this time?
0:23:00 > 0:23:04I've been saving myself for you, don't you know.
0:23:16 > 0:23:17(If you don't kiss me soon...)
0:23:17 > 0:23:19I'm thinking about it.
0:23:19 > 0:23:22- Do it.- Bossy.
0:23:22 > 0:23:24- You like it bossy.- I do.
0:23:47 > 0:23:49I've missed you, you fucker!
0:23:58 > 0:24:01I don't know whether to savour every moment or just bash right through.
0:24:01 > 0:24:03- I would say bash.- Right.
0:24:31 > 0:24:33Oh there, there.
0:24:48 > 0:24:49What? What's the matter?
0:24:53 > 0:24:55I keep seeing you with him.
0:24:55 > 0:24:57No...
0:24:59 > 0:25:04I thought I could, um, I thought I could...
0:25:04 > 0:25:06but I... I can't stop picturing you,
0:25:06 > 0:25:12the two of you in his bed, with...him with all of his enormity.
0:25:12 > 0:25:14- It's not that big.- I've seen it.
0:25:14 > 0:25:17Unless it's one of those very special penises that gets
0:25:17 > 0:25:19much, much smaller when it gets erect.
0:25:20 > 0:25:22Oh, my God! Who cares?
0:25:22 > 0:25:24It doesn't matter.
0:25:24 > 0:25:26Well, it clearly matters to me.
0:25:32 > 0:25:33I'm sorry.
0:25:35 > 0:25:38I love you, you know that, but I can't...
0:25:42 > 0:25:44I can't do this any more.
0:26:10 > 0:26:13Great, you guys, thanks again for coming in.
0:26:15 > 0:26:16Yeah, I don't think so.
0:26:16 > 0:26:19What? I think it could be fun. Come on.
0:26:19 > 0:26:21A show about three little ghosts?
0:26:21 > 0:26:22It's a show about dead children!
0:26:22 > 0:26:24Well, I wouldn't put that in the promos.
0:26:24 > 0:26:27Oh, speaking of promos, where are we with Pucks!
0:26:27 > 0:26:29- and the Friends thing? - They're shooting it today.
0:26:29 > 0:26:33Today? Keep me in the loop, why don't you. Which one did we get?
0:26:33 > 0:26:34On a bell.
0:26:34 > 0:26:36Speeding.
0:26:36 > 0:26:37Action!
0:26:41 > 0:26:44You actually think your team can beat us?
0:26:44 > 0:26:46Your guys suck so much, you should be called the Hoovers.
0:26:46 > 0:26:47ALL: Yeah.
0:26:50 > 0:26:53Seriously, Lyman, is that the best you got?
0:26:55 > 0:26:56Yeah. It is, yeah.
0:27:00 > 0:27:03Cut! Moving on.
0:27:05 > 0:27:08- Hey, man, thanks for doing this. - Hey, thanks for having me.
0:27:08 > 0:27:11- Really great to see you again. - Yeah, you too, man.
0:27:11 > 0:27:13You're the only one I don't keep in touch with.
0:27:13 > 0:27:14- Seriously?- Yeah.
0:27:14 > 0:27:18I still see Schwimmer, and Courtney and I text all the time.
0:27:18 > 0:27:21- Thanks.- Really? And Jen, too?
0:27:21 > 0:27:23Yeah. I house-sit for her when she's in New York.
0:27:23 > 0:27:25Huh.
0:27:25 > 0:27:27Hey, you don't happen to have her cell number do you?
0:27:27 > 0:27:29Um...
0:27:30 > 0:27:31You know, I gotta say,
0:27:31 > 0:27:35- I feel a little uncomfortable giving it to you.- Fuck you!
0:27:56 > 0:28:01Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd