0:00:02 > 0:00:08This programme contains strong language.
0:00:08 > 0:00:11- Merc's out.- When will you tell him? - After his Man Of The Year thing.
0:00:11 > 0:00:14- That's nice.- That way, we can empty out his office while he's there.
0:00:14 > 0:00:18- Do you know who you're going to go with?- We've got a very short list.
0:00:18 > 0:00:20- Right. - And your name's at the top of it.
0:00:21 > 0:00:24- I'm about to leave for my date.- OK.
0:00:24 > 0:00:26If you don't want me to go, I won't go.
0:00:26 > 0:00:28Go.
0:00:31 > 0:00:33LeBlanc residence.
0:00:33 > 0:00:34Is Matt there?
0:00:34 > 0:00:36Oh, hi, Diane. It's Labia.
0:00:36 > 0:00:40No!
0:00:41 > 0:00:42'Fuck!'
0:01:27 > 0:01:29How can I take this job? How?
0:01:29 > 0:01:31I can't do that to him.
0:01:31 > 0:01:34It sounds like THEY'RE doing it to him, whether you do it or not.
0:01:34 > 0:01:36No, I know, but, I...I...
0:01:36 > 0:01:40Look, this is your dream. It's what you have been working for your entire career.
0:01:40 > 0:01:42I know, but I...
0:01:43 > 0:01:46He would never understand.
0:01:46 > 0:01:49I don't think our relationship could survive it.
0:01:49 > 0:01:51- So?- So?!
0:01:51 > 0:01:55A couple of weeks ago, you were prepared to end it and there wasn't even a dream job on the table!
0:01:58 > 0:02:00He's never going to leave her, is he?
0:02:03 > 0:02:04No.
0:02:06 > 0:02:09Because she's a fucking saint.
0:02:09 > 0:02:11A fucking blind saint.
0:02:11 > 0:02:12Mm.
0:02:12 > 0:02:13What?
0:02:14 > 0:02:16What?
0:02:16 > 0:02:18That..."mm".
0:02:19 > 0:02:22- What "mm"?- Er, no, no.
0:02:22 > 0:02:26I said that she's a fucking saint and then you went, "Mm,"
0:02:26 > 0:02:29like maybe she's not such a fucking saint.
0:02:31 > 0:02:32Oh, no.
0:02:34 > 0:02:36I-It was just an "mm",
0:02:36 > 0:02:38like...mm.
0:02:38 > 0:02:42Go on. So, mm, go on.
0:02:42 > 0:02:44- What aren't you telling me?- Nothing.
0:02:44 > 0:02:46Tell me!
0:02:47 > 0:02:50OK, well, you've never moved this fast in your life,
0:02:50 > 0:02:52- so you need to tell me.- Look, I...
0:02:52 > 0:02:54I know nothing. It was just an "mm".
0:02:54 > 0:02:58Do you like poison ivy? There's plenty of it up there.
0:02:58 > 0:02:59Ooh, ooh! Oo-oo-ooh!
0:03:07 > 0:03:09- That's a cliff!- Ooh, oh!
0:03:10 > 0:03:12Come on, you. Come on.
0:03:12 > 0:03:13- Come on. Oh, oh.- Oh, oh.
0:03:13 > 0:03:16What are you going to do, huh?
0:03:16 > 0:03:17Huh?
0:03:17 > 0:03:18I gotcha.
0:03:19 > 0:03:21She's fine! Keep moving!
0:03:23 > 0:03:24Tell me!
0:03:29 > 0:03:33- She's having an affair with Matt. - Who?
0:03:34 > 0:03:37Saint Jamie.
0:03:38 > 0:03:40Is... Is having an... An affair?
0:03:40 > 0:03:42With Matt LeBlanc.
0:03:44 > 0:03:46- SHE GIGGLES - No.
0:03:48 > 0:03:51Oh, my God! No!
0:03:51 > 0:03:54You knew this and you didn't tell me?!
0:03:54 > 0:03:57Well, what about all the shit with our show you don't tell me?!
0:03:57 > 0:04:00That's work! This is my life!
0:04:00 > 0:04:02I know.
0:04:02 > 0:04:03But...
0:04:03 > 0:04:04if I'd told you, you'd tell Merc.
0:04:04 > 0:04:07- I HAVE to tell Merc! - You can't tell Merc!
0:04:07 > 0:04:11If you tell Merc, this whole thing will blow up and...
0:04:11 > 0:04:14Matt...will...kill me.
0:04:16 > 0:04:18You must keep this to yourself.
0:04:18 > 0:04:20Yeah, I can't do that.
0:04:23 > 0:04:25If you tell Merc, I swear I'll...
0:04:28 > 0:04:29I'll tell him
0:04:29 > 0:04:32that you've been having secret meetings with that...
0:04:32 > 0:04:34That Salad person, AND
0:04:34 > 0:04:39you knew he was getting fired before he did and you didn't tell him.
0:04:39 > 0:04:40Ha-aa-aa ha!
0:04:40 > 0:04:42SHE MUTTERS
0:04:44 > 0:04:46SHE GRUNTS
0:04:48 > 0:04:49Fine.
0:04:51 > 0:04:53Understood.
0:04:57 > 0:04:59Jamie Lapidus and Matt LeBlanc.
0:04:59 > 0:05:01Un-fucking-believable!
0:05:02 > 0:05:04For all I know, it's already over.
0:05:05 > 0:05:09Last I heard, he was having a thing with his stalker!
0:05:09 > 0:05:13Jesus! A stalker and his boss's blind wife?
0:05:13 > 0:05:15That guy'll stick it anywhere.
0:05:15 > 0:05:17No offence.
0:05:21 > 0:05:24PHONE RINGS
0:05:27 > 0:05:30- Yo.- Matt? Stanford Shamiro.
0:05:30 > 0:05:31'Hey. What's up?'
0:05:32 > 0:05:34I just got a call from Diane's lawyer.
0:05:34 > 0:05:36What did that prick want?
0:05:36 > 0:05:40Please tell me you weren't entertaining your stalker at your house last night.
0:05:40 > 0:05:44OK, I was not ENTERTAINING her.
0:05:44 > 0:05:45Technically, yeah, she was here.
0:05:45 > 0:05:47But I was throwing her out when Diane called.
0:05:47 > 0:05:49So she broke in again?
0:05:49 > 0:05:52Er, technically, no.
0:05:52 > 0:05:55So why don't you tell me what did happen...technically?
0:05:55 > 0:05:56'All right.'
0:05:56 > 0:05:59The other night, I was pretty hammered and I called her up.
0:05:59 > 0:06:01- 'Diane?'- No.
0:06:01 > 0:06:03You called up your stalker?
0:06:03 > 0:06:05'Right.'
0:06:05 > 0:06:07The one we got the restraining order for?
0:06:07 > 0:06:11- Yeah.- Did you have sexual relations with her?
0:06:11 > 0:06:13Hmm...
0:06:13 > 0:06:15does anal...?
0:06:15 > 0:06:16Yeah, it counts.
0:06:16 > 0:06:18Then, technically, yes.
0:06:18 > 0:06:22You should know Diane's going to try and have your visitation rights terminated.
0:06:22 > 0:06:24Meaning what? I'd never get to see my kids?
0:06:24 > 0:06:27- If the judge agrees. - 'That's bullshit!'
0:06:27 > 0:06:28We got to fight this.
0:06:28 > 0:06:31Can I take off my lawyer hat for a minute?
0:06:31 > 0:06:34- Yeah.- 'I'm talking to you now as a friend.'
0:06:35 > 0:06:38You're going to need a much better lawyer.
0:06:38 > 0:06:40Cos the one you got -
0:06:40 > 0:06:43I don't know how the fuck he's going to get you out of this.
0:06:43 > 0:06:45HE SIGHS
0:06:50 > 0:06:52Wow!
0:06:52 > 0:06:55Seriously, wow!
0:06:55 > 0:06:56Yeah?
0:06:56 > 0:06:58I'm telling you,
0:06:58 > 0:07:02you look fucking wow! What are you doing with an old shit-bird like me?
0:07:02 > 0:07:06Are you kidding? You're my man of the year.
0:07:07 > 0:07:10It's your big night.
0:07:10 > 0:07:11What's the matter?
0:07:11 > 0:07:13- What?- You look...
0:07:13 > 0:07:15I'm fine. All good.
0:07:15 > 0:07:16All right.
0:07:16 > 0:07:18Is this ever going to change?
0:07:18 > 0:07:21- What?- This. Us.
0:07:21 > 0:07:23I mean, here we are, AGAIN.
0:07:23 > 0:07:26It's your big night and I can't be there with you.
0:07:26 > 0:07:27You'll be there.
0:07:27 > 0:07:29Not WITH you.
0:07:29 > 0:07:32You're going to come down off that stage and I can't kiss you,
0:07:32 > 0:07:35- I can't... - SHE GRUNTS
0:07:35 > 0:07:38Am I always going to be this invisible person?
0:07:38 > 0:07:39You think I like it this way?
0:07:39 > 0:07:42You think I don't want to be with you all the time? Come on!
0:07:42 > 0:07:44What do you want me to do? The woman's blind!
0:07:44 > 0:07:46She's fucking Matt LeBlanc.
0:07:46 > 0:07:47Who's fucking Matt LeBlanc?
0:07:47 > 0:07:52Your blind wife is having an affair with Matt LeBlanc.
0:07:55 > 0:07:57Bullshit!
0:07:57 > 0:07:59I swear to God, it's true.
0:08:02 > 0:08:06- Are you kidding me? - It's been going on for months.
0:08:06 > 0:08:07Jesus Christ!
0:08:07 > 0:08:08Yep.
0:08:09 > 0:08:11I... I can't breathe.
0:08:11 > 0:08:14Seriously, I cannot breathe!
0:08:14 > 0:08:16- You can breathe. - I can't breathe WELL!
0:08:18 > 0:08:20CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYS
0:08:26 > 0:08:29Wow! Look at you, all dressy dressed.
0:08:29 > 0:08:32I got this for my sister's funeral.
0:08:32 > 0:08:33Pretty.
0:08:33 > 0:08:36If anything, it looks more like the other cheek than it did before.
0:08:36 > 0:08:39- And you really can't tell? - You really can't - it's amazing.
0:08:39 > 0:08:44- Just promise me you're done messing with your face.- I swear, I am done messing with my face.
0:08:46 > 0:08:48- What?- Hmm?
0:08:48 > 0:08:51- HE SCOFFS - Oh, Christ! Kill me now.
0:08:51 > 0:08:53- Sean.- Andrew!
0:08:53 > 0:08:54Where aren't you?
0:08:54 > 0:08:57- This is my friend Morning Randolph. - Hello.- We've met.
0:08:57 > 0:08:59So, what brings you here?
0:08:59 > 0:09:02Er, I actually just signed a deal with Merc.
0:09:02 > 0:09:05So I thought I'd better come and kiss the ring.
0:09:05 > 0:09:07- You're doing television now? - I know.
0:09:07 > 0:09:10I came up with this great idea for a show.
0:09:10 > 0:09:14It's about this British couple who bring their hit comedy to the States
0:09:14 > 0:09:18and how they end up getting divorced but still have to work together.
0:09:18 > 0:09:19You're...
0:09:19 > 0:09:22- You're fucking kidding me, right? - I know!
0:09:22 > 0:09:24It took me, like, five seconds to come up with it.
0:09:26 > 0:09:28Oh, look, there's Bev and Rob!
0:09:31 > 0:09:32Oh, God.
0:09:34 > 0:09:37It's so hard seeing her with someone who's not you.
0:09:38 > 0:09:42Just saying "Bev and Rob" feels so wrong.
0:09:42 > 0:09:44"Bev and Rob, Bev and Rob."
0:09:45 > 0:09:47- Excuse me.- Hmm.
0:09:47 > 0:09:49Bev! Rob!
0:09:51 > 0:09:55I have been that cock-sucker's friend for 20 years!
0:09:55 > 0:09:57- 20 years!- I know.
0:09:57 > 0:09:58He's on MY network!
0:09:58 > 0:10:01- I know.- And when she went blind, I could have walked out.
0:10:01 > 0:10:03But I fucking stuck by her.
0:10:03 > 0:10:05She does not deserve you.
0:10:06 > 0:10:09I guess I'M the blind one.
0:10:09 > 0:10:10Oh, and by the way,
0:10:10 > 0:10:13I think sometimes she can actually see a tiny bit.
0:10:13 > 0:10:16- No!- I'm telling you - like, vague shapes and shadows.
0:10:16 > 0:10:20And she calls herself blind. What a bitch.
0:10:20 > 0:10:22How could she do this to me?
0:10:22 > 0:10:24Oh, I'm probably not the best person to ask.
0:10:24 > 0:10:27I mean, if you were mine, believe me...
0:10:27 > 0:10:28Well, guess what.
0:10:28 > 0:10:30I AM yours.
0:10:31 > 0:10:33- What? Wh-What are you saying? - Oh, yeah.
0:10:33 > 0:10:37I am so going to dump her ass. What do you think of that?
0:10:37 > 0:10:39I think, yeah! Do it!
0:10:39 > 0:10:42- Dump it! Oh! - SHE GIGGLES
0:10:42 > 0:10:44Dump it, dump it, dump it!
0:10:47 > 0:10:48Oh, here we go.
0:10:50 > 0:10:52OK, creepiest smile ever.
0:10:52 > 0:10:53Is it too Wallace and Gromit?
0:10:53 > 0:10:55I don't know who that is, but yeah.
0:10:55 > 0:10:57Oh, God! That's his Wallace and Gromit smile.
0:10:57 > 0:11:00- Oh, yeah! - No, that's not a good thing.
0:11:00 > 0:11:02Hey, how are you? Nice to see you.
0:11:17 > 0:11:19Champagne?
0:11:19 > 0:11:21Oh, yes! Goodness gracious me!
0:11:26 > 0:11:28You can do this.
0:11:29 > 0:11:31Just knowing they're both here...
0:11:31 > 0:11:34I know. But you're going to smile like nothing's wrong,
0:11:34 > 0:11:37because you are the man of the year.
0:11:37 > 0:11:41And these people are paying 10,000 a table
0:11:41 > 0:11:42just to see that smile.
0:11:42 > 0:11:44Not the ones at the back.
0:11:44 > 0:11:47- Do we know yet who bought the cheap ones?- I'm getting you a list.
0:11:49 > 0:11:52Mr Salad!
0:11:52 > 0:11:53So...
0:11:55 > 0:11:58..you finally decided to grace us with your presence.
0:11:58 > 0:12:00Well, you know me - I like to make an entrance.
0:12:00 > 0:12:02Congratulations, sir. Well deserved.
0:12:02 > 0:12:04Thank you, my friend.
0:12:04 > 0:12:08Can you believe this guy flew 3,000 miles just for me?
0:12:08 > 0:12:09He's the best.
0:12:09 > 0:12:11So, any big plans while you're out here?
0:12:11 > 0:12:14Nope. This weekend's all about you.
0:12:14 > 0:12:17- MERC CHUCKLES - You're going to make me cry.
0:12:26 > 0:12:28Who's that?
0:12:28 > 0:12:31Morning's brother Rob. He's her...date.
0:12:33 > 0:12:35What do you mean, "her date"?
0:12:35 > 0:12:36Well, they're...
0:12:36 > 0:12:38kind of a thing.
0:12:42 > 0:12:44- You shitting me?- I shit you not.
0:12:49 > 0:12:50- And this is OK by you?- Why not?
0:12:50 > 0:12:53I told her we had to move on, and...
0:12:54 > 0:12:55..she believed me.
0:12:55 > 0:12:59- Why would you do that?- Well, you had a little something to do with it.
0:12:59 > 0:13:02Oh, Christ! You still on that?
0:13:02 > 0:13:05You fucked my wife!
0:13:05 > 0:13:09- Five months ago!- Right. I can't believe I'm still dwelling on it.
0:13:09 > 0:13:11I feel like such an arsehole(!)
0:13:11 > 0:13:12You ARE an asshole.
0:13:14 > 0:13:15You love her.
0:13:15 > 0:13:17- Get over yourself. - It's not that simple.
0:13:17 > 0:13:19Oh! HE TUTS
0:13:24 > 0:13:25Yeah, it is.
0:13:33 > 0:13:35- Thank you. - We'll see you a bit later.- Bye.
0:13:39 > 0:13:41Hey.
0:13:41 > 0:13:43I thought I could smell Joey.
0:13:43 > 0:13:45Too much?
0:13:45 > 0:13:47No, I like a man who can wear Cinnabon.
0:13:49 > 0:13:50So, er...
0:13:52 > 0:13:55..Sean and I were just talking about assholes.
0:13:55 > 0:13:58Oh, so that's what guys talk about when we're not around.
0:13:59 > 0:14:03I was telling him to stop being one
0:14:03 > 0:14:07and I realised the last time you and I were together, I...
0:14:07 > 0:14:08I kind of was one.
0:14:08 > 0:14:10No argument from me.
0:14:11 > 0:14:13And then I never called you, which...
0:14:13 > 0:14:15makes me an even bigger one.
0:14:15 > 0:14:18Again, we're on the same page.
0:14:18 > 0:14:19Anyway...
0:14:21 > 0:14:23..I'm sorry.
0:14:24 > 0:14:25Thank you.
0:14:25 > 0:14:28I don't want to mess this up.
0:14:28 > 0:14:30- Then don't.- OK.
0:14:34 > 0:14:36I may need you to keep reminding me.
0:14:36 > 0:14:39I'll stay on top of it.
0:14:39 > 0:14:41Sounds good to me.
0:14:54 > 0:14:56So?
0:14:56 > 0:14:58Really? Here? Now?
0:14:58 > 0:15:00I got to move on this.
0:15:02 > 0:15:07Elliot, I cannot tell you how much I appreciate this offer.
0:15:07 > 0:15:12I really do, and I'll probably end up kicking myself, but...
0:15:12 > 0:15:14Hey, hey, hey.
0:15:14 > 0:15:16If it's the money, we're prepared...
0:15:16 > 0:15:19Oh, God. No. It's not the money.
0:15:19 > 0:15:20You're prepared to what?
0:15:20 > 0:15:23No. No! Don't tell me.
0:15:23 > 0:15:24It's not the money.
0:15:25 > 0:15:27It's Merc.
0:15:27 > 0:15:31- I can't do it to him. - Look, loyalty's one thing but unless you're fucking him...
0:15:31 > 0:15:33I'm fucking him.
0:15:34 > 0:15:35A-ha.
0:15:35 > 0:15:37- No. - SHE GIGGLES
0:15:37 > 0:15:38Hmm.
0:15:38 > 0:15:41I'm more than fucking him.
0:15:41 > 0:15:43I'm not sure I know what that means.
0:15:43 > 0:15:45Sounds like he's a lucky man.
0:15:45 > 0:15:48I mean...we're serious.
0:15:48 > 0:15:50- Oh.- Yeah.
0:15:50 > 0:15:54Well, for what it's worth, I'm a big believer in second marriages.
0:15:54 > 0:15:56This would be his fourth.
0:15:56 > 0:15:58Mazel tov.
0:16:01 > 0:16:04SHE SINGS
0:16:32 > 0:16:34(Are you going to eat your olives?)
0:16:34 > 0:16:36No.
0:17:22 > 0:17:25SONG FINISHES
0:17:25 > 0:17:27CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:17:31 > 0:17:35MATT: But more than anything else, Merc Lapidus has a big heart.
0:17:35 > 0:17:39Those hugs of his - they don't come from here.
0:17:39 > 0:17:41They come from here.
0:17:41 > 0:17:42Ladies and gentlemen,
0:17:42 > 0:17:45please help me welcome our Man Of The Year
0:17:45 > 0:17:48and my boss, Merc Lapidus.
0:17:48 > 0:17:51CHEERING
0:17:57 > 0:18:00Matt LeBlanc. Let's hear it for a real friend.
0:18:05 > 0:18:10Wagner once said, "Joy is not in things -
0:18:10 > 0:18:11"it is in us."
0:18:12 > 0:18:15Clearly, Wagner never owned his own jet.
0:18:15 > 0:18:16LAUGHTER
0:18:16 > 0:18:19Seriously...
0:18:19 > 0:18:21I think everyone here tonight knows what he meant.
0:18:23 > 0:18:26All the trappings of success mean nothing.
0:18:26 > 0:18:31It's about finding the joy in what we do.
0:18:31 > 0:18:34And I love what I do.
0:18:35 > 0:18:36They call it "the industry".
0:18:36 > 0:18:38But looking around here tonight,
0:18:38 > 0:18:41it's clear that we're more than just an industry.
0:18:42 > 0:18:44We're family.
0:18:45 > 0:18:46Six years ago...
0:18:47 > 0:18:51..when I found out that I had cancer...
0:18:52 > 0:18:57..the outpouring of support was overwhelming.
0:18:58 > 0:19:01And then later, when our network became number one
0:19:01 > 0:19:06after being last for so many, many years,
0:19:06 > 0:19:09I felt that same response.
0:19:09 > 0:19:10In good times...
0:19:11 > 0:19:15..and in bad, you have been there for me.
0:19:15 > 0:19:17I'd like to thank all of you...
0:19:18 > 0:19:21..for the love and friendship -
0:19:21 > 0:19:26and, yes, the joy - that you have given me all these years.
0:19:26 > 0:19:29I may be your Man Of The Year but, right now,
0:19:29 > 0:19:33I feel like the luckiest man in the world. Thank you. Thank you.
0:19:33 > 0:19:35CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:19:40 > 0:19:41Thank you very much.
0:19:41 > 0:19:43Thank you, thank you.
0:19:47 > 0:19:51HUBBUB OF CONVERSATION
0:19:51 > 0:19:54Oh, your speech was fantastic.
0:19:54 > 0:19:56- Yeah?- Oh, my God!
0:19:56 > 0:19:59Funny and moving and so smart.
0:19:59 > 0:20:02You are one class act.
0:20:02 > 0:20:04I got to piss like a racehorse.
0:20:04 > 0:20:05OK.
0:20:19 > 0:20:21Awesome speech.
0:20:33 > 0:20:35You put that in my wife?!
0:20:35 > 0:20:36OK, you don't want do this here.
0:20:36 > 0:20:38Don't tell me what I want!
0:20:38 > 0:20:40- Watch it!- Oh, sorry!
0:20:40 > 0:20:43Jesus Christ! Are you crazy?!
0:20:44 > 0:20:46Hey, LeBlanc! You smell like piss!
0:20:46 > 0:20:47- Wait, what?- Fucking lunatic!
0:20:47 > 0:20:49Oh, God!
0:20:49 > 0:20:50Aw, don't run away!
0:20:50 > 0:20:51I got more!
0:20:52 > 0:20:54Found another one.
0:20:54 > 0:20:57- How many more does she need before we can go home?- Could be a while.
0:20:57 > 0:20:59She's a bit of a gift-bag whore.
0:20:59 > 0:21:00Seven!
0:21:00 > 0:21:03It's almost an illness. You'll get used to it.
0:21:03 > 0:21:05Get him the hell away from me!
0:21:05 > 0:21:07Come on. Let's just go.
0:21:07 > 0:21:09You don't get to screw my wife and then walk away!
0:21:09 > 0:21:11Oh, yeah? How about you?
0:21:11 > 0:21:14How about the fact that you've been screwing...
0:21:14 > 0:21:16What is her name?!
0:21:17 > 0:21:21- Carol.- ..Carol. How about the fact that you've been screwing Carol?!
0:21:21 > 0:21:23- You son of a bitch!- No!
0:21:26 > 0:21:27Oh, come on!
0:21:31 > 0:21:33You fucking cock-sucker!
0:21:33 > 0:21:34Fuck you!
0:21:34 > 0:21:36You are so fucking fired!
0:21:36 > 0:21:37Oh, no. Fired from Pucks(!)
0:21:37 > 0:21:42Keep laughing! For the rest of your life, you're just going to be the fat guy who used to be Joey!
0:21:42 > 0:21:44- And you'll just be a fat guy!- No!
0:21:44 > 0:21:46All right! Enough!
0:21:47 > 0:21:51This is what you get for screwing other people's wives. I hope you're happy!
0:21:51 > 0:21:54Oh, I'm VERY happy! Jamie, are you happy?
0:21:55 > 0:21:57Yes.
0:21:57 > 0:21:58You son of a bitch!
0:21:58 > 0:21:59Oh! Ow!
0:21:59 > 0:22:01That's my wife!
0:22:02 > 0:22:04Not the face!
0:22:04 > 0:22:05What's happening?!
0:22:12 > 0:22:13Aargh!
0:22:13 > 0:22:15MATT GRUNTS
0:22:15 > 0:22:17Seriously, what's happening?!
0:22:20 > 0:22:22Get the hell off of me!
0:22:23 > 0:22:25- A-ha!- Look out - he's got a bag!
0:22:27 > 0:22:29What are you going to do - hit us with a spa certificate?
0:22:29 > 0:22:33- I saw a candle in here that could do some damage!- I didn't get a candle.
0:22:36 > 0:22:38- MATT GRUNTS - Ooh!
0:22:39 > 0:22:42What the fuck?!
0:22:42 > 0:22:43Let go of my fucking... Argh!
0:22:43 > 0:22:45HE GROANS
0:22:45 > 0:22:48- What? What?! - My shoulder...dislocated.
0:22:48 > 0:22:50Oh, Jesus. Does it hurt?
0:22:50 > 0:22:51Oh, fuck!
0:22:51 > 0:22:52How about now?!
0:22:52 > 0:22:55Hey! Are you insane?
0:23:03 > 0:23:07Forget firing him. That whole show is dead!
0:23:07 > 0:23:09I want that pucking fucks...
0:23:09 > 0:23:11Grr! Fucking Pucks!
0:23:11 > 0:23:13- Shit, it's dead!- Ssh. - It's off the air!
0:23:13 > 0:23:16All right. Stop! Breathe. I need you to breathe.
0:23:16 > 0:23:20I mean it. First thing Monday - I don't care if I have to run cartoons in that slot -
0:23:20 > 0:23:22I want him off my network!
0:23:22 > 0:23:24Oh, God!
0:23:24 > 0:23:25What?
0:23:25 > 0:23:27There's something you need to know.
0:23:27 > 0:23:29What? What? What?!
0:23:37 > 0:23:39Elliot's going to call you.
0:23:39 > 0:23:42The board decided...
0:23:43 > 0:23:46- ..you're out.- Out?
0:23:46 > 0:23:47Out of what?
0:23:48 > 0:23:49Your job.
0:23:50 > 0:23:53After the whole talking-dog thing
0:23:53 > 0:23:55- and the way our season's been going...- What?!
0:23:55 > 0:23:59How do you know this? All of a sudden, you know all this crap?
0:23:59 > 0:24:02I'm getting canned, my wife's fucking around. What are you, a witch?!
0:24:02 > 0:24:04You need to calm down.
0:24:04 > 0:24:06I'm calm. TELL ME!
0:24:06 > 0:24:08I heard it from Elliot.
0:24:10 > 0:24:11He told you?
0:24:12 > 0:24:14He told you before he told me?
0:24:14 > 0:24:16Why?
0:24:16 > 0:24:18- Why, why, why, why, why?!- He...
0:24:20 > 0:24:22He offered me your job.
0:24:26 > 0:24:28HE GULPS LOUDLY
0:24:28 > 0:24:30HE SQUEAKS
0:24:35 > 0:24:40- Let's not do this here. - SQUEAKING CONTINUES
0:24:40 > 0:24:42Yeah, OK.
0:24:42 > 0:24:45- HE YELLS IN PAIN - Where are the bloody paramedics?!
0:24:45 > 0:24:47You don't need paramedics. It's happened before.
0:24:47 > 0:24:50- Just pop it back in.- What do you mean, "pop it"? I can't pop it!
0:24:50 > 0:24:52You got to - I can't pop it myself.
0:24:52 > 0:24:56- I'm not going to pop it - you need a doctor to pop it! - No, you don't. Just grab my arm,
0:24:56 > 0:25:00- pull it out of its socket and pop it back in.- No!
0:25:00 > 0:25:02Oh, Jesus! Pop it - I'm begging you.
0:25:03 > 0:25:04MATT YELLS
0:25:04 > 0:25:06SEAN AND BEVERLY YELL Just do it. Hurry!
0:25:06 > 0:25:08- I can't!- Just pop it!
0:25:08 > 0:25:10- Pop it!- CROWD: Pop it!
0:25:10 > 0:25:12Everyone stop saying "pop it"!
0:25:12 > 0:25:15- Do you want me to do it? - Like you could do it!- I could do it.
0:25:15 > 0:25:16- All right, then, do it.- Right.
0:25:16 > 0:25:18HE YELLS
0:25:18 > 0:25:19I can't do it!
0:25:19 > 0:25:22- I'll do it.- No! Not her.
0:25:22 > 0:25:24- I'll do it.- No!
0:25:24 > 0:25:27I can do it.
0:25:29 > 0:25:30MATT GROANS
0:25:30 > 0:25:33BOTH GROAN
0:25:33 > 0:25:36- BOTH:- Aargh! AARGH!
0:25:36 > 0:25:38BONE CLICKS
0:25:38 > 0:25:40HE SIGHS WITH RELIEF
0:25:43 > 0:25:46- Do you think you're going to be all right?- Just...
0:25:48 > 0:25:50Listen to me.
0:25:50 > 0:25:52I turned him down.
0:25:52 > 0:25:53I didn't take it.
0:25:55 > 0:25:57Why?
0:25:57 > 0:25:58Why?!
0:25:58 > 0:26:00Because...
0:26:00 > 0:26:02I would never do that to you.
0:26:02 > 0:26:04I love you.
0:26:04 > 0:26:08They're going to regret this. You're going to come back stronger than ever.
0:26:08 > 0:26:09- I don't know.- I- know.
0:26:09 > 0:26:11I'm...
0:26:11 > 0:26:15I'm not saying it'll be easy, but we're going to get through this.
0:26:15 > 0:26:16Together.
0:26:16 > 0:26:19You'll move in with me.
0:26:19 > 0:26:21How nice will that be - to finally be...?
0:26:21 > 0:26:23What? What are you talking about?
0:26:23 > 0:26:25I can't leave her now!
0:26:25 > 0:26:26What?!
0:26:26 > 0:26:29I've got no fucking job! You want me to give her half my money?!
0:26:36 > 0:26:37Get out.
0:26:37 > 0:26:39What?
0:26:39 > 0:26:40Get out of my car.
0:26:43 > 0:26:45Are you serious? No, it's raining.
0:26:45 > 0:26:47GET...OUT!
0:26:52 > 0:26:54Are you fucking crazy?!
0:26:54 > 0:26:56I don't even know where the hell I am!
0:26:56 > 0:27:00This is downtown!
0:27:00 > 0:27:01Aaargh!
0:27:04 > 0:27:07So, opera. Apparently it gets kind of rough.
0:27:10 > 0:27:12You were very brave tonight.
0:27:12 > 0:27:16Please. Merc Lapidus threw me around like a sock puppet.
0:27:17 > 0:27:19And yet, you kept coming back for more.
0:27:19 > 0:27:21Like an idiot.
0:27:21 > 0:27:23- I found it...heroic.- Hmm.
0:27:24 > 0:27:26And then with the...
0:27:26 > 0:27:28arm popping.
0:27:28 > 0:27:30If the writing doesn't pan out,
0:27:30 > 0:27:33you could always reconsider being a doctor.
0:27:33 > 0:27:35I could specialise in terrified medicine.
0:27:36 > 0:27:37You'd be brilliant.
0:27:40 > 0:27:41Your poor face.
0:27:42 > 0:27:43I've seen worse.
0:27:45 > 0:27:47When he hit you...
0:27:49 > 0:27:50..it was like...
0:27:52 > 0:27:53I just went...
0:27:53 > 0:27:57Ssh. I'm fine now, I'm fine. I didn't even...
0:28:01 > 0:28:02SHE SQUEAKS
0:28:02 > 0:28:03Oh, God, I'm sorry.
0:28:06 > 0:28:07Please...
0:28:07 > 0:28:09do not be sorry for that.
0:28:19 > 0:28:21Should we just leave?
0:28:21 > 0:28:23Oh, I'd say so.
0:28:31 > 0:28:33I think they're ready to go here.
0:28:34 > 0:28:38You guys coming, or are you going to just make out all night?
0:28:40 > 0:28:41We're coming.
0:28:46 > 0:28:48Ooh, wait.
0:28:53 > 0:28:54Seven!
0:28:54 > 0:28:56SHE GIGGLES
0:29:01 > 0:29:02ANDY: Listen to this...
0:29:02 > 0:29:03"Daily Variety.
0:29:03 > 0:29:08"Network prexy Merc Lapidus has CHOSEN to step down from the post,
0:29:08 > 0:29:12"effective immediately." Chairman Elliot Salad said,
0:29:12 > 0:29:16" 'It is with deep regret that we must accept the resignation of Merc Lapidus.
0:29:16 > 0:29:19" 'It's difficult to imagine this network without him.'
0:29:19 > 0:29:24"Lapidus stated, 'I have chosen to go now, having accomplished everything I set out to do.
0:29:24 > 0:29:28" 'And I look forward to spending more time with my wonderful family.'"
0:29:28 > 0:29:29- MYRA:- Mmm.