Episode 1

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0:00:04 > 0:00:06- I'm about to leave for my date. - OK.

0:00:06 > 0:00:08If you don't want me to go, I won't go.

0:00:09 > 0:00:10Go.

0:00:13 > 0:00:16500 feet, Labia. 500 feet.

0:00:16 > 0:00:19If that fucking lunatic comes near my kids again, I swear to God...

0:00:19 > 0:00:23Please tell me you weren't entertaining your stalker at your house last night.

0:00:23 > 0:00:26Did you have sexual relations with her?

0:00:26 > 0:00:28- Does anal...?- Yeah, it counts.

0:00:28 > 0:00:32You think I don't want to be with you all the time? What do you want me to do? The woman's blind.

0:00:32 > 0:00:34She's fucking Matt LeBlanc.

0:00:34 > 0:00:35You son of a bitch.

0:00:36 > 0:00:38Let go of my fucking...!

0:00:38 > 0:00:39Aaagh!

0:00:39 > 0:00:42- Oh, Jesus. Does it hurt? - Oh, fuck.

0:00:42 > 0:00:44- How about now? - AAAGH!

0:00:44 > 0:00:47- We got a very short list. - Right.

0:00:47 > 0:00:49And your name's at the top of it.

0:00:49 > 0:00:51The board decided...

0:00:51 > 0:00:53you're out.

0:00:53 > 0:00:54How do you know this?

0:00:54 > 0:00:56He offered me your job.

0:00:56 > 0:00:59- But he hit you. - I'm fine now. I'm fine.

0:00:59 > 0:01:00It didn't even...

0:01:02 > 0:01:04I can't leave her now.

0:01:04 > 0:01:05What?

0:01:05 > 0:01:08I got no fucking job! You want me to give her half my money?

0:01:08 > 0:01:10Get out! OUT!

0:01:10 > 0:01:11Are you fucking crazy?!

0:01:13 > 0:01:15I don't even know where the hell I am!

0:01:15 > 0:01:17This is downtown!

0:01:17 > 0:01:19Fuck!

0:02:24 > 0:02:26DOORBELL BUZZES INSISTENTLY

0:02:39 > 0:02:41- Honey? - Hmm?

0:02:41 > 0:02:43I think someone's at your gate.

0:02:43 > 0:02:45BUZZER CONTINUES

0:02:53 > 0:02:56Oh, Jesus.

0:02:56 > 0:02:57Yeah?

0:02:57 > 0:02:59I want to talk to my wife!

0:02:59 > 0:03:01Oh, God.

0:03:01 > 0:03:03Uh... fuck you.

0:03:03 > 0:03:06Open up! I know she's there!

0:03:06 > 0:03:07Yeah, she's here.

0:03:07 > 0:03:09And, again...

0:03:09 > 0:03:10Fuck you.

0:03:10 > 0:03:11BUZZER CONTINUES

0:03:17 > 0:03:19Looks like it's still raining.

0:03:56 > 0:03:58BANGING

0:04:02 > 0:04:04Open up!

0:04:06 > 0:04:07Let me in!

0:04:13 > 0:04:15Open the fuck up!

0:04:15 > 0:04:16Go away, asshole.

0:04:16 > 0:04:18Come on, let me in!

0:04:18 > 0:04:20Whatever you have to say, you can say through the window.

0:04:20 > 0:04:24Jamie, sweetheart, I know you're mad.

0:04:24 > 0:04:26I don't blame you. I'm sorry.

0:04:26 > 0:04:28I... I'm sorry. I made a mistake.

0:04:28 > 0:04:32A mistake?! You've been screwing Carol for five years!

0:04:33 > 0:04:36OK, nobody said that I was perfect.

0:04:36 > 0:04:40- But, come on, one more chance. - It's OK, she can have you.

0:04:40 > 0:04:41Forget her!

0:04:41 > 0:04:45I dumped her ass last night cos I want you.

0:04:45 > 0:04:46Well, I don't want you!

0:04:46 > 0:04:49I've been happier in the last three months

0:04:49 > 0:04:51than any day of our marriage.

0:04:55 > 0:04:57OK, I can feel the breeze from your charade.

0:04:57 > 0:04:58Sorry.

0:04:58 > 0:05:01Look, I'm done.

0:05:01 > 0:05:03If you have anything to say, say it to my lawyer.

0:05:03 > 0:05:04You have a lawyer already?

0:05:04 > 0:05:06It's the guy Matt's ex-wife used.

0:05:06 > 0:05:09Apparently, he's very good.

0:05:14 > 0:05:15Goodbye, Merc.

0:05:15 > 0:05:16"Goodbye"?

0:05:16 > 0:05:19What do you mean, "goodbye"? Not "goodbye."

0:05:19 > 0:05:21Honey, honey, please. Where's your humanity?

0:05:21 > 0:05:23We're husband and wife!

0:05:23 > 0:05:27Jamie, come on! Wait, wait, wait, wait! At least get me a towel!

0:05:48 > 0:05:51Are you sleeping?

0:05:51 > 0:05:54What?

0:05:54 > 0:05:56Never mind. Go back to sleep.

0:05:58 > 0:06:01No, what did you say?

0:06:01 > 0:06:03I asked if you were sleeping.

0:06:04 > 0:06:07When you asked, I was.

0:06:07 > 0:06:09Now I'm not.

0:06:09 > 0:06:10Sorry.

0:06:12 > 0:06:14It's all right.

0:06:14 > 0:06:17I like what I'm waking to.

0:06:17 > 0:06:19How much have you missed this?

0:06:20 > 0:06:22I know.

0:06:30 > 0:06:33There was a moment...

0:06:33 > 0:06:36last night...

0:06:36 > 0:06:40when I was looking at you...

0:06:40 > 0:06:42and I couldn't help but think...

0:06:42 > 0:06:43Bloody hell, it's 8:15!

0:06:43 > 0:06:45Wait, wait, wait. No. What?

0:06:45 > 0:06:46Couldn't help but think what?

0:06:46 > 0:06:488:15! We're seriously fucked!

0:06:48 > 0:06:52- I have no car here. I have to get home.- Why?- Uh...

0:06:52 > 0:06:55- I'm not going to work in an evening gown.- No?

0:06:55 > 0:06:56Elegant Friday?

0:06:56 > 0:06:59Oh, God. We have script changes we never gave them.

0:06:59 > 0:07:01Shit.

0:07:01 > 0:07:04Uh, I'll drop you at home. Just let me jump in the shower.

0:07:04 > 0:07:07- Feel like jumping in with me? - 8:15.

0:07:07 > 0:07:08Right.

0:07:41 > 0:07:43Get me Elliot Salad.

0:07:49 > 0:07:51He's still in the air. He's heading back to New York.

0:07:51 > 0:07:53Then have him call me as soon as he lands.

0:07:53 > 0:07:57And make sure he knows it's about what we discussed last night.

0:08:01 > 0:08:03Hey.

0:08:03 > 0:08:04Morning.

0:08:04 > 0:08:06- How are you? - Fine.

0:08:06 > 0:08:09No, I know, but how are you?

0:08:09 > 0:08:11I'm good.

0:08:13 > 0:08:14I am.

0:08:14 > 0:08:18Look, these things happen, especially in our business.

0:08:18 > 0:08:19Nothing's for ever.

0:08:19 > 0:08:21Poor Merc. How's he doing?

0:08:21 > 0:08:22- I wouldn't know.- Really?

0:08:22 > 0:08:25- Really. - So that's...

0:08:25 > 0:08:27- Mm-hmm. - Oh, thank God.

0:08:27 > 0:08:28I never understood that anyway.

0:08:30 > 0:08:32Did you see his office?

0:08:32 > 0:08:33It's like he was never here,

0:08:33 > 0:08:34like that movie The Vanishing.

0:08:34 > 0:08:37- I never saw it. - Someone vanishes.

0:08:37 > 0:08:38So, why'd they dump him?

0:08:38 > 0:08:39Was it cos of last night?

0:08:39 > 0:08:40I really can't say.

0:08:40 > 0:08:42That fight was insane.

0:08:42 > 0:08:44Have you seen the video?

0:08:44 > 0:08:46There's a video?

0:08:46 > 0:08:48It's on YouTube.

0:08:48 > 0:08:50You're telling me some asshole

0:08:50 > 0:08:53actually stood there filming the whole thing

0:08:53 > 0:08:55and then posted it?

0:08:55 > 0:08:58What kind of sick fuck would do that?

0:08:58 > 0:08:59If it helps, you look gorgeous in it.

0:08:59 > 0:09:02I'm in it?

0:09:02 > 0:09:04Jesus! Are we all in it?

0:09:04 > 0:09:08Everyone but Andy.

0:10:18 > 0:10:19Cock sucker!

0:10:19 > 0:10:21Fuck you! You are so fucking fired!

0:10:21 > 0:10:24I can't believe this is online.

0:10:24 > 0:10:25Is that really what my hair looks like?

0:10:25 > 0:10:27It's up to almost a million hits.

0:10:27 > 0:10:29Hey, you know, more people saw Merc hit you in the face

0:10:29 > 0:10:32- than actually watch our show. - Your poor face.

0:10:32 > 0:10:35Fuck her face. What about our poor show?

0:10:36 > 0:10:37I didn't mean "fuck her face."

0:10:37 > 0:10:39- Thank you.- Sh. Hey, hey, listen.

0:10:39 > 0:10:41You can actually hear him pull your shoulder out of the socket.

0:10:41 > 0:10:43It's so sick.

0:10:43 > 0:10:45Is it? Is it sick?

0:10:45 > 0:10:49Kind of.

0:10:49 > 0:10:50What the fuck?!

0:10:50 > 0:10:51Let go of my fucking...

0:10:51 > 0:10:54ALL GASP

0:10:54 > 0:10:56- Ow! - Shit.

0:10:56 > 0:10:58Maybe I should let it grow.

0:10:58 > 0:11:01- Jesus. - Yep. Some messed-up night.

0:11:01 > 0:11:03I don't know.

0:11:03 > 0:11:04Some good things came out of it.

0:11:04 > 0:11:05Awww!

0:11:05 > 0:11:07Stop it. We're not puppies.

0:11:07 > 0:11:09What? It's nice.

0:11:09 > 0:11:10So, does this mean

0:11:10 > 0:11:13we'll be sending your scripts to one address, not two?

0:11:13 > 0:11:14I'd say so.

0:11:14 > 0:11:15And which one would that be?

0:11:15 > 0:11:19- Doesn't matter to me, as long as we're together.- Awww!

0:11:19 > 0:11:20- Stop it.- Stop it.

0:11:20 > 0:11:21Either place is fine with me, too.

0:11:21 > 0:11:23OK, let me know.

0:11:23 > 0:11:28- What does it take you to get here? - Door-to-door, 20 minutes, assuming there's no traffic in the canyon.

0:11:28 > 0:11:30- How often is there traffic in the canyon?- Always.

0:11:30 > 0:11:33- Why? How long does it take you?- I could walk here.- Do you?

0:11:33 > 0:11:34No.

0:11:34 > 0:11:37All right, then, uh...

0:11:37 > 0:11:40I guess, uh, your place makes more sense.

0:11:40 > 0:11:42But...

0:11:43 > 0:11:45No, it's silly.

0:11:45 > 0:11:46What?

0:11:47 > 0:11:51Well, there is one thing.

0:11:54 > 0:11:56- What? - Matt, we're ready for you.

0:11:56 > 0:12:00- Yeah, I just want to hear the thing. - Go!

0:12:02 > 0:12:04But you'll tell me the thing?

0:12:04 > 0:12:05No!

0:12:07 > 0:12:08So?

0:12:08 > 0:12:09It's...

0:12:12 > 0:12:14- ..your bed. - What's wrong with my bed?

0:12:14 > 0:12:16You've never even seen my bed.

0:12:16 > 0:12:21Morning was in it with you, doing... Morning things.

0:12:21 > 0:12:25- Ah.- I just want to start with a clean slate.

0:12:25 > 0:12:26Absolutely.

0:12:26 > 0:12:28I'd feel exactly the same way.

0:12:28 > 0:12:30Picture up.

0:12:37 > 0:12:39Yes.

0:12:40 > 0:12:45As soon as Elliot calls, patch him through to me.

0:12:45 > 0:12:47Hi. No, it's fine. Interrupt.

0:12:47 > 0:12:49It's only Beverly.

0:12:50 > 0:12:52OK, promise you'll find me.

0:12:52 > 0:12:55I cannot miss this call.

0:12:55 > 0:12:56Bye.

0:12:56 > 0:12:59How crazy was last night?

0:12:59 > 0:13:00Oh, my God.

0:13:00 > 0:13:03Oh, I have so much to tell you.

0:13:03 > 0:13:04Well, I've got a fair bit to tell you.

0:13:04 > 0:13:06OK, you go first.

0:13:06 > 0:13:07Really?

0:13:07 > 0:13:10Yes. I want to hear everything. Go.

0:13:11 > 0:13:14- Sean and I are back together. - Merc and I broke up.

0:13:16 > 0:13:18Why don't you go first?

0:13:18 > 0:13:19OK.

0:13:23 > 0:13:25Ready for lunch?

0:13:25 > 0:13:27Oh, I can't. I... I've got to do this.

0:13:27 > 0:13:29- What?- I'm trying to write an e-mail to Diane.

0:13:29 > 0:13:31She won't answer my calls.

0:13:31 > 0:13:33This still about the Labia thing?

0:13:33 > 0:13:34She's on the fucking warpath.

0:13:34 > 0:13:38You know, she's going to ask the judge for supervised visitation.

0:13:38 > 0:13:39Meaning?

0:13:39 > 0:13:41Meaning, any time I'm with the boys,

0:13:41 > 0:13:43there has to be a goddamn social worker there.

0:13:43 > 0:13:44How fucked-up is that?

0:13:44 > 0:13:45Very.

0:13:45 > 0:13:48This weekend could be my last time alone with them.

0:13:48 > 0:13:50- I'm going to take them to Disneyland.- Oh, I've never been.

0:13:50 > 0:13:53You ever been to Walmart? It's like that with rides.

0:13:53 > 0:13:55I got to get her to back down.

0:13:55 > 0:13:57Well, good luck with that.

0:13:57 > 0:14:00You're a writer.

0:14:00 > 0:14:02No, no, no!

0:14:02 > 0:14:03No, this has got to come from you.

0:14:03 > 0:14:05It's got to be personal, from the heart.

0:14:05 > 0:14:08Exactly. I can't write that shit.

0:14:08 > 0:14:11Come on, please.

0:14:11 > 0:14:12What have you got so far?

0:14:13 > 0:14:15Uh, "Diane."

0:14:16 > 0:14:18Well, at least you've got something to build on.

0:14:18 > 0:14:22Uh, you could start by explaining

0:14:22 > 0:14:24why you invited your stalker into your house.

0:14:24 > 0:14:25I was shit-faced.

0:14:25 > 0:14:29Yeah, well, nothing says you're a responsible father like...

0:14:29 > 0:14:30So, what's my excuse?

0:14:33 > 0:14:34There is no excuse.

0:14:34 > 0:14:35Thanks.

0:14:35 > 0:14:37No, that's what you say.

0:14:37 > 0:14:39"There is no excuse for what I did."

0:14:41 > 0:14:42Nice.

0:14:42 > 0:14:45"It was thoughtless and stupid.

0:14:45 > 0:14:48"Bringing that woman into my home is...

0:14:48 > 0:14:50"indefensible."

0:14:50 > 0:14:51Or some word that you'd use.

0:14:51 > 0:14:54- I'd use "indefensible." - Sorry.

0:14:54 > 0:14:57Uh, "I take full responsibility for my actions,

0:14:57 > 0:15:01- "and I will do anything... anything...- "

0:15:01 > 0:15:03- Two "anythings"? Yeah.- Underline the second one.

0:15:03 > 0:15:04- Got it.- "Anything... "

0:15:04 > 0:15:07- There's still just two. That was the second one again.- I'm with you.

0:15:07 > 0:15:09"..to win back your trust.

0:15:09 > 0:15:12"Our children mean the world to me."

0:15:14 > 0:15:16"They are...

0:15:16 > 0:15:18"the only truly good thing in my life.

0:15:18 > 0:15:23"Please don't punish them because of my bad decisions."

0:15:23 > 0:15:25This is so good.

0:15:25 > 0:15:27"I don't know why I do what I do...

0:15:27 > 0:15:32"but I can only promise you that I am going to get help."

0:15:34 > 0:15:36Love that.

0:15:36 > 0:15:38Right.

0:15:38 > 0:15:40But now you have to get help.

0:15:40 > 0:15:42- No, you do. - OK.

0:15:42 > 0:15:46No, I'm saying you need help.

0:15:46 > 0:15:48You've got to figure out

0:15:48 > 0:15:51how to change this self-destructive pattern.

0:15:51 > 0:15:55You brought home the one woman in the whole world

0:15:55 > 0:15:58your ex-wife specifically forbade you to see!

0:15:58 > 0:16:01You do these things, and then you're surprised

0:16:01 > 0:16:03when there are consequences.

0:16:03 > 0:16:06If you are unwilling to examine why,

0:16:06 > 0:16:07then you are doomed

0:16:07 > 0:16:10to just keep repeating and repeating

0:16:10 > 0:16:13the same self-sabotaging behaviour!

0:16:20 > 0:16:21Sorry.

0:16:23 > 0:16:26No. You're right.

0:16:26 > 0:16:27That's what I do.

0:16:31 > 0:16:32And I keep doing it.

0:16:38 > 0:16:39OK.

0:16:40 > 0:16:42I'll get help.

0:16:44 > 0:16:47I think that's wise.

0:16:50 > 0:16:52You're not going to get help, are you?

0:16:52 > 0:16:54Nah, but this is really good.

0:16:57 > 0:16:59I mean, how pathetic am I?

0:16:59 > 0:17:02I almost didn't take the job.

0:17:02 > 0:17:05cos I didn't want to hurt Merc?

0:17:05 > 0:17:07Fucking Merc?

0:17:07 > 0:17:08Why didn't you say something?

0:17:08 > 0:17:11I did, repeatedly.

0:17:11 > 0:17:12- Was I listening? - Do you ever?

0:17:14 > 0:17:16Sorry, I thought that was my phone.

0:17:16 > 0:17:19- What did you say? - Nothing.

0:17:19 > 0:17:22I'm so ready for this. I can totally run that network.

0:17:22 > 0:17:24I've been running that network.

0:17:24 > 0:17:26Only now you finally get credit for it.

0:17:26 > 0:17:27Thank you!

0:17:28 > 0:17:31Oh, shit.

0:17:31 > 0:17:32Hi.

0:17:34 > 0:17:36How long has she been sitting there?

0:17:36 > 0:17:38No idea. Why do we care?

0:17:38 > 0:17:39She writes for Variety.

0:17:39 > 0:17:44If she heard me talking about the job, fuck.

0:17:44 > 0:17:47Oh, calm down. She probably can't even hear us from there.

0:17:47 > 0:17:50All right, tell me if she turns.

0:17:50 > 0:17:52Marianne?

0:17:52 > 0:17:55Marianne? Anything?

0:17:55 > 0:17:56Not yet.

0:17:56 > 0:18:00Marianne, time to lose the holiday weight.

0:18:00 > 0:18:02Still nothing?

0:18:02 > 0:18:05Nope. But I know I'm skipping dessert.

0:18:06 > 0:18:09OK. Let's just talk about something else... anything.

0:18:09 > 0:18:11What do you want to talk about?

0:18:11 > 0:18:14You and Sean.

0:18:14 > 0:18:15Tell me everything.

0:18:15 > 0:18:18I'm dying to hear.

0:18:18 > 0:18:19- Clearly. - No, I am.

0:18:19 > 0:18:21Come on. Wh...what happened?

0:18:21 > 0:18:25Well, there's not really that much to tell.

0:18:25 > 0:18:27Last night, after the, um, melee...

0:18:27 > 0:18:29Sean and I were talking

0:18:29 > 0:18:31about my face wound, and, um...

0:18:32 > 0:18:34..next thing I know, he's kissing me.

0:18:34 > 0:18:35SHOUTS: Yeah, he is!

0:18:37 > 0:18:39We'll take a check.

0:18:42 > 0:18:45- So, what, are you, just, like, crazy happy?- Oh, beyond crazy.

0:18:45 > 0:18:47Yay.

0:18:47 > 0:18:50But there is this, um, one...

0:18:50 > 0:18:52little thing.

0:18:52 > 0:18:54You remember Morning's brother Rob.

0:18:54 > 0:18:57Uh, yeah. That guy is ridiculously hot.

0:18:59 > 0:19:03But Sean...better...obviously.

0:19:03 > 0:19:04Right.

0:19:04 > 0:19:07Well, I, um...

0:19:09 > 0:19:11I sort of slept with him.

0:19:11 > 0:19:14Oh, my God. What... uh, what does "sort of" mean?

0:19:16 > 0:19:18Nothing. I slept with him.

0:19:18 > 0:19:20All right! Good for you.

0:19:20 > 0:19:22- No, not good for me. - No?- No.

0:19:22 > 0:19:23What do I tell Sean?

0:19:23 > 0:19:26Nothing. That's what you tell him.

0:19:26 > 0:19:27I can't just lie.

0:19:27 > 0:19:29First of all, not lying.

0:19:29 > 0:19:30It's omitting.

0:19:30 > 0:19:31There is a huge difference

0:19:31 > 0:19:34between omitting and lying.

0:19:34 > 0:19:37That said, I also believe in lying.

0:19:37 > 0:19:39I don't want to start our new lives

0:19:39 > 0:19:41with this giant secret.

0:19:41 > 0:19:42- So, it was giant?- Stop.

0:19:42 > 0:19:45Fine. Look, just let it go.

0:19:45 > 0:19:47- It's all in the past. - It was Wednesday.

0:19:47 > 0:19:50Oh, my God! Wednesday?

0:19:50 > 0:19:51Definitely lie.

0:19:51 > 0:19:53Lie the shit out of this.

0:19:58 > 0:20:00Wendy, do you have today's pages

0:20:00 > 0:20:01from the writing room?

0:20:01 > 0:20:03Where are they?

0:20:03 > 0:20:04That's what I'm asking you.

0:20:04 > 0:20:07Well, that's what I'm asking you.

0:20:07 > 0:20:09We could have hired a squirrel.

0:20:12 > 0:20:14- Hello. - Hey!

0:20:14 > 0:20:17- What's this?- Well, I thought the three of us should celebrate...

0:20:17 > 0:20:19you know, you guys getting back together

0:20:19 > 0:20:20and all that good stuff.

0:20:20 > 0:20:22I would drink to that good stuff.

0:20:22 > 0:20:24This is so nice.

0:20:25 > 0:20:27Need a hand?

0:20:27 > 0:20:30No, no, I got it.

0:20:40 > 0:20:42Help him, I beg you.

0:20:45 > 0:20:47Sure, Mr Two-hands.

0:20:54 > 0:20:57I hate change.

0:20:57 > 0:20:59The thought of having to look for a new job.

0:20:59 > 0:21:00- Why would you...? - Oh, come on!

0:21:00 > 0:21:04You don't think whoever comes in isn't going to clean house?

0:21:04 > 0:21:06Not necessarily.

0:21:06 > 0:21:08You'll be fine. I promise.

0:21:08 > 0:21:10How can you say that?

0:21:10 > 0:21:13What do you know?

0:21:13 > 0:21:14Who is it going to be?

0:21:14 > 0:21:16Talk to me.

0:21:18 > 0:21:21OK, you absolutely can't tell anyone.

0:21:21 > 0:21:23I won't, I swear. I promise.

0:21:23 > 0:21:24Who is it?

0:21:25 > 0:21:27Shut the fup!

0:21:28 > 0:21:31Seriously, no-one can know.

0:21:31 > 0:21:34I haven't even said yes to Elliot yet.

0:21:34 > 0:21:36- But he offered it to you? - He did.

0:21:36 > 0:21:38And you didn't tell me. You sneaky bitch.

0:21:38 > 0:21:40Who's a sneaky bitch?

0:21:42 > 0:21:43What?

0:21:43 > 0:21:45It's Myra.

0:21:45 > 0:21:47Fine.

0:21:47 > 0:21:48She's getting Merc's job.

0:21:48 > 0:21:51- Who's getting Merc's job? - Carol.- Really?

0:21:51 > 0:21:54- You can't tell anyone.- OK, I won't, but you should know that I'm...

0:21:54 > 0:21:55Oh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh!

0:21:55 > 0:21:57What?

0:21:58 > 0:22:01Come on. If you can't trust Peter...

0:22:03 > 0:22:06- I've been offered Merc's job. - Seriously?

0:22:06 > 0:22:07- It's so exciting. - What's so exciting?

0:22:07 > 0:22:10Carol's getting Merc's job. I'm not good with secrets.

0:22:10 > 0:22:12Are you serious?!

0:22:12 > 0:22:13It's not a done deal.

0:22:13 > 0:22:15Please, you cannot repeat this.

0:22:15 > 0:22:18Wait, so, it's not Castor Sotto?

0:22:19 > 0:22:20What?

0:22:20 > 0:22:22Well, uh, Deadline Hollywood

0:22:22 > 0:22:25said that Castor Sotto was replacing Merc.

0:22:25 > 0:22:27Uh...

0:22:31 > 0:22:35PHONE RINGS Carol Rance's office.

0:22:35 > 0:22:37Elliot Salad on one.

0:22:41 > 0:22:43There you go.

0:22:43 > 0:22:44Hmm. Yeah.

0:22:55 > 0:22:57Elliot?

0:22:57 > 0:22:59I just heard.

0:22:59 > 0:23:01Castor Sotto.

0:23:01 > 0:23:03Great choice. Great choice.

0:23:03 > 0:23:05No, I've never met him.

0:23:05 > 0:23:08But, come on, Castor Sotto.

0:23:10 > 0:23:12What a coup.

0:23:17 > 0:23:20- So, have you guys been in this place the whole time?- Mm-hm.

0:23:20 > 0:23:23- You've been in our office before, no?- No, never.

0:23:23 > 0:23:26It's really a shit hole.

0:23:26 > 0:23:29- Oh, thanks.- How could anyone be funny in a place like this?

0:23:29 > 0:23:30No wonder.

0:23:31 > 0:23:34Matt, The Stage just called. Your kids are here.

0:23:34 > 0:23:35Oh, come say hi.

0:23:36 > 0:23:39"No wonder"? Did he really just say "No wonder"?

0:23:44 > 0:23:45PHONE RINGS

0:23:47 > 0:23:49- Hello?- Hey, it's me.

0:23:49 > 0:23:50Hey.

0:23:50 > 0:23:51I got your e-mail.

0:23:51 > 0:23:53Yeah?

0:23:53 > 0:23:55You're really going to get help?

0:23:55 > 0:23:57I... I really am.

0:23:57 > 0:23:59And not like with the couples counsellor?

0:23:59 > 0:24:00No, no.

0:24:00 > 0:24:01That one was very unprofessional.

0:24:01 > 0:24:03Because she slept with you?

0:24:03 > 0:24:05Yeah, a good one would never do that.

0:24:05 > 0:24:06Maybe go with a guy this time.

0:24:06 > 0:24:08Probably smart.

0:24:08 > 0:24:11But you're going to do what you have to do,

0:24:11 > 0:24:13but I meant what I said about the boys.

0:24:13 > 0:24:15I don't want anything to mess that up.

0:24:15 > 0:24:16Then don't mess up.

0:24:16 > 0:24:19I won't. I promise.

0:24:19 > 0:24:21It's all going to be better. You'll see.

0:24:21 > 0:24:22I'm going to be better.

0:24:28 > 0:24:31Uh, can I call you back?

0:24:32 > 0:24:34Want to hear a small world?

0:24:34 > 0:24:37My sister played the nurse on the one where Rachel is having the baby.

0:24:37 > 0:24:40No kidding? She was great!

0:24:40 > 0:24:41Yeah? You remember her?

0:24:41 > 0:24:43Totally.

0:24:43 > 0:24:46- Say hi for me. - I will.

0:24:46 > 0:24:49Listen, isn't there some way you could just give me,

0:24:49 > 0:24:51like, a slap on the wrist?

0:24:51 > 0:24:53Hey. Joey.

0:24:53 > 0:24:55- Hey.- DUI? - You got me.

0:24:55 > 0:24:57Looks like we did!

0:24:57 > 0:24:59LAUGHTER

0:24:59 > 0:25:02Hey, you were saying maybe you could just give me a slap on the wrist?

0:25:02 > 0:25:03No, YOU were saying that.

0:25:03 > 0:25:05I knew someone said it.

0:25:05 > 0:25:06LAUGHTER

0:25:08 > 0:25:13Uh, you were going over 90 with a 1.7 alcohol level, so...

0:25:13 > 0:25:15That's crazy. I had a couple glasses of champagne.

0:25:15 > 0:25:18I guess you need more body mass.

0:25:18 > 0:25:19Yeah, that's what I need.

0:25:19 > 0:25:21LAUGHTER

0:25:21 > 0:25:23Other hand.

0:25:23 > 0:25:26Seriously, there's got to be a way

0:25:26 > 0:25:27to just give me, like, a warning.

0:25:29 > 0:25:30Not with kids in the car.

0:25:32 > 0:25:36Look, I'm kind of going through a custody thing right now.

0:25:37 > 0:25:39I went through that. Such bullshit.

0:25:39 > 0:25:40Totally, right?

0:25:40 > 0:25:43And...this is going to make it so much worse.

0:25:43 > 0:25:46Man, I hear you.

0:25:46 > 0:25:47It sucks.

0:25:49 > 0:25:52OK, I got to ask you for a photograph.

0:25:52 > 0:25:55Absolutely. Happy to.

0:25:55 > 0:25:57Are you going to do one of all of us together, or...?

0:26:09 > 0:26:11So, this is your house?

0:26:11 > 0:26:13Our house.

0:26:13 > 0:26:14Our house.

0:26:16 > 0:26:19What do you think?

0:26:19 > 0:26:21Definitely not a shit hole.

0:26:21 > 0:26:23High praise.

0:26:23 > 0:26:25Would you like a tour?

0:26:25 > 0:26:27That's the kitchen.

0:26:27 > 0:26:28Nice.

0:26:28 > 0:26:31Uh, back there is the laundry room.

0:26:31 > 0:26:32Good.

0:26:33 > 0:26:35That's a bar...

0:26:37 > 0:26:40I like your tour better.

0:26:40 > 0:26:42Is there a bedroom?

0:26:42 > 0:26:44That way.

0:26:44 > 0:26:46SHE GIGGLES

0:26:46 > 0:26:48Someone's been going to the gym!

0:26:48 > 0:26:50I have been going to the gym!

0:27:01 > 0:27:04Hold that thought. I'm just going to change the sheets.

0:27:04 > 0:27:05What?

0:27:05 > 0:27:07It'll only take a moment.

0:27:09 > 0:27:11- To change the sheets? - Right.

0:27:11 > 0:27:13Uh, well, obviously, when it comes to foreplay,

0:27:13 > 0:27:16changing the sheets is my favourite bit.

0:27:16 > 0:27:18- Just scoot off the bed. - What, you're serious?

0:27:18 > 0:27:21Oh, you know what they say... fresh start, fresh sheets.

0:27:21 > 0:27:24No-one says that. Laundresses don't say that.

0:27:24 > 0:27:25I'm sorry.

0:27:25 > 0:27:27If I'd known we were going to end up here tonight...

0:27:27 > 0:27:29Do you not want to do this?

0:27:29 > 0:27:33Oh, God, you have no idea how much I want to do it.

0:27:34 > 0:27:36But you know me and clean sheets.

0:27:36 > 0:27:38No, actually.

0:27:38 > 0:27:40- I could have done it by now. - So could we.

0:27:42 > 0:27:46- Is there something I should know about these sheets?- No.

0:27:56 > 0:27:58I spent a night here with Rob.

0:28:00 > 0:28:01What night?

0:28:05 > 0:28:07Wednesday.

0:28:09 > 0:28:10God!