0:00:01 > 0:00:05This programme contains strong language.
0:00:05 > 0:00:07What's done is done. You slept with Morning. I slept with Rob.
0:00:07 > 0:00:10It would be one thing if he was the only one.
0:00:10 > 0:00:12Christ. Who else?
0:00:12 > 0:00:14Yes. Yes.
0:00:14 > 0:00:16I don't care if we fail. Failing's fine.
0:00:16 > 0:00:20If we go down in flames, at least there were flames!
0:00:20 > 0:00:23I'm happy just to be around him.
0:00:23 > 0:00:26He is amazing.
0:00:26 > 0:00:30No-one seems to notice I'm so full of shit.
0:00:30 > 0:00:32And I can hear the furniture whispering.
0:00:32 > 0:00:35Maybe we should try adjusting your medication again.
0:00:35 > 0:00:36Maybe.
0:01:22 > 0:01:25KNOCK AT DOOR Yeah?
0:01:25 > 0:01:28Hey. Is now a good time?
0:01:28 > 0:01:29No.
0:01:29 > 0:01:31- Really?- Yep.
0:01:31 > 0:01:32Oh.
0:01:36 > 0:01:37You're still there.
0:01:37 > 0:01:38Uh, yeah, I know.
0:01:38 > 0:01:41Uh...
0:01:41 > 0:01:44I just... I kind of need a little advice.
0:01:44 > 0:01:48- Advice?- Career stuff. I'm really bad at that shit,
0:01:48 > 0:01:51and I don't know who else to go to.
0:01:51 > 0:01:54I swear it will just take, like, a minute.
0:01:54 > 0:01:56HE SIGHS
0:01:56 > 0:01:57A minute.
0:01:57 > 0:01:58Thanks.
0:02:01 > 0:02:04I feel like an asshole even talking about this.
0:02:04 > 0:02:06But, you know, I'm just starting out,
0:02:06 > 0:02:09and I don't want to make a mistake and fuck it all up.
0:02:11 > 0:02:15OK. Look. First of all, you got to relax.
0:02:15 > 0:02:17You're freaking yourself out here.
0:02:17 > 0:02:18You think?
0:02:18 > 0:02:19This is the good part.
0:02:19 > 0:02:21You got a job. You're on a show.
0:02:21 > 0:02:24- Enjoy it.- No, I know. It's just...
0:02:24 > 0:02:27it's all this stuff coming at me.
0:02:27 > 0:02:29What kind of stuff?
0:02:29 > 0:02:30You know, like movie stuff.
0:02:30 > 0:02:32- Movie stuff?- Yeah.
0:02:32 > 0:02:34I'm starting to get all these offers,
0:02:34 > 0:02:35like this big Michael Bay thing.
0:02:35 > 0:02:36Michael Bay?
0:02:36 > 0:02:38It's called Tsunami.
0:02:38 > 0:02:41- Do you drown?- No.
0:02:43 > 0:02:44So what's your question for me?
0:02:44 > 0:02:48OK. Like, how do you know which ones to pick?
0:02:48 > 0:02:51I mean, back when you were hot,
0:02:51 > 0:02:53you did a bunch of movies, right?
0:02:53 > 0:02:55Mm-hmm.
0:02:55 > 0:02:57And it's not like you read them and thought,
0:02:57 > 0:02:59"Well, this is a piece of crap."
0:02:59 > 0:03:02You thought they were gonna be good, you know?
0:03:02 > 0:03:05- TENSELY: Mm-hmm.- It's scary,
0:03:05 > 0:03:08cos, like, you make a bunch of shitty ones,
0:03:08 > 0:03:10and suddenly they don't want you any more.
0:03:10 > 0:03:12- You know what I mean.- Mm-hmm.
0:03:12 > 0:03:16I do not want to be 50 and still doing sitcoms.
0:03:16 > 0:03:18Did you just point to me on "50"?
0:03:18 > 0:03:19Uh...
0:03:19 > 0:03:22You think I'm 50? You think I'm fucking 50?!
0:03:22 > 0:03:24No. I don't know how old you are.
0:03:24 > 0:03:26Well, I'm not fucking 50!
0:03:26 > 0:03:28Dude, you look great.
0:03:28 > 0:03:31I hope I look this good when I'm...
0:03:31 > 0:03:32When you're what?
0:03:34 > 0:03:36Say a number!
0:03:39 > 0:03:41- Th...- Your minute's up!
0:03:41 > 0:03:42Minute's up!
0:03:42 > 0:03:44Thank you.
0:03:44 > 0:03:47- This was great. Open or closed? - Minute's up!
0:03:50 > 0:03:53Carol Rance on 2!
0:03:53 > 0:03:57Is it actually Carol or someone who's then going to summon Carol?
0:03:57 > 0:04:00- What?- I'm just saying, if she's got...
0:04:02 > 0:04:03If she's calling us,
0:04:03 > 0:04:05we shouldn't have to wait for her to pick up.
0:04:05 > 0:04:06So I'm asking...
0:04:06 > 0:04:09is this actually Carol...
0:04:11 > 0:04:12..on the phone?
0:04:12 > 0:04:14Yes.
0:04:14 > 0:04:15Thank you.
0:04:20 > 0:04:22- Hi, Carol.- Hi, Carol.
0:04:22 > 0:04:24MAN ON PHONE: Hold for Carol.
0:04:24 > 0:04:25Oh, I see.
0:04:25 > 0:04:27CAROL: Hey, there!
0:04:27 > 0:04:32- Hi!- So, I just got a call from Stoke's agent. She's not happy.
0:04:32 > 0:04:35- SARCASTICALLY:- Oh, no! Why?
0:04:35 > 0:04:40Apparently, Stoke's been offered four days on some Michael Bay movie,
0:04:40 > 0:04:42but you guys won't let him out.
0:04:44 > 0:04:47As I told her, it would totally mess up our schedule.
0:04:47 > 0:04:49And while we always want to accommodate
0:04:49 > 0:04:51our little enemy of comedy,
0:04:51 > 0:04:54we're not prepared to rearrange everything just for Stoke.
0:04:54 > 0:04:57- That totally makes sense.- Thank you.
0:04:57 > 0:04:59But I need you to do it anyway.
0:04:59 > 0:05:01BEV GROANS I'm sorry!
0:05:01 > 0:05:05Stoke doing a hot movie can only be good for the show,
0:05:05 > 0:05:08and we need anything that's good for the show.
0:05:10 > 0:05:13- Fine.- Thank you.
0:05:13 > 0:05:16Also, today is Castor's first day,
0:05:16 > 0:05:19so better not to start with any Pucks! drama.
0:05:19 > 0:05:20How is it so far?
0:05:20 > 0:05:22Oh, my God.
0:05:22 > 0:05:26I can see his abs through his T-shirt.
0:05:26 > 0:05:30- Didn't we agree you weren't gonna go there?- Hey!
0:05:30 > 0:05:33You weren't sleeping with Merc for the last five years.
0:05:33 > 0:05:38We're talking too fast, too damp...often farty.
0:05:38 > 0:05:40Oh, God.
0:05:40 > 0:05:42I miss good sex.
0:05:42 > 0:05:44I deserve good sex, don't I?
0:05:44 > 0:05:46No-one more than you.
0:05:46 > 0:05:48Oh. Sorry.
0:05:48 > 0:05:49You deserve it, too.
0:05:49 > 0:05:52Anything happening with you guys?
0:05:54 > 0:05:59Uh, actually, we guys are... both here...
0:06:01 > 0:06:02..on speaker.
0:06:02 > 0:06:04Oh! Ha!
0:06:04 > 0:06:06Hi, Sean!
0:06:06 > 0:06:08Hello, Carol.
0:06:17 > 0:06:20- What?- Nothing.
0:06:20 > 0:06:22I'm sorry. She's my friend.
0:06:22 > 0:06:24- Friends talk. - I just don't understand.
0:06:24 > 0:06:26- Hey!- Hi.- Hi, hi.
0:06:38 > 0:06:40See you guys later.
0:06:40 > 0:06:41- Yep. Yep.- OK.
0:06:41 > 0:06:44They fucking hate me.
0:06:44 > 0:06:46I just don't understand this need to divulge
0:06:46 > 0:06:48the most intimate secrets of our relationship.
0:06:48 > 0:06:50I mean, seriously.
0:06:50 > 0:06:54That you would talk to Carol, of all people,
0:06:54 > 0:06:55about whether or not we're...
0:06:57 > 0:06:59..when we don't even talk about it.
0:06:59 > 0:07:03Maybe I talk to Carol because we don't talk about it.
0:07:13 > 0:07:16- Knock, knock!- Yeah.
0:07:16 > 0:07:18Oh, my God.
0:07:18 > 0:07:21This is amazing.
0:07:21 > 0:07:22- I hate it.- All righty.
0:07:22 > 0:07:24Does that look like Weimaraner to you?
0:07:24 > 0:07:26Does what look like Weimaraner?
0:07:26 > 0:07:28The walls. What colour is that?
0:07:28 > 0:07:30Not Weimaraner?
0:07:30 > 0:07:32Exactly. Assholes.
0:07:32 > 0:07:34Don't ask me what colour I want and then give me this.
0:07:34 > 0:07:36Oh, I know. It's the worst.
0:07:36 > 0:07:39I had my bathroom redone about a year ago,
0:07:39 > 0:07:42and I ordered these little glass tiles.
0:07:42 > 0:07:43And when they came...
0:07:43 > 0:07:44- So, what's up?- OK.
0:07:44 > 0:07:47Uh, I just wanted to say good night
0:07:47 > 0:07:50and make sure you survived your first day.
0:07:50 > 0:07:53Barely. I'm just looking at last week's numbers. Jesus.
0:07:53 > 0:07:55What happened to, "It's not about the numbers"?
0:07:55 > 0:07:57That was before I saw the numbers.
0:07:57 > 0:07:59I'm so fucked.
0:07:59 > 0:08:03OK. Tomorrow, 6:00am, saddle up the troops.
0:08:03 > 0:08:05I want everyone here. No excuses.
0:08:05 > 0:08:06Yikes.
0:08:06 > 0:08:08- 6:00am?- Yeah.
0:08:08 > 0:08:09What time do these pussies normally start?
0:08:09 > 0:08:13Uh...the pussies normally start a little bit later.
0:08:13 > 0:08:17- But if you want 6:00, we will do 6:00.- Good.
0:08:17 > 0:08:19I want to rip this whole goddamn schedule apart.
0:08:19 > 0:08:21I want ideas. I want opinions.
0:08:21 > 0:08:25Tell people I expect them to bring their truth.
0:08:25 > 0:08:28Mm. I'm not sure everyone has truth.
0:08:28 > 0:08:30Then they can bring bagels.
0:08:38 > 0:08:40Hey, have you seen the call sheet?
0:08:40 > 0:08:44Why am I doing night shoots if it's all interiors?
0:08:44 > 0:08:45Right.
0:08:45 > 0:08:48Um...Stoke is doing four days on a movie,
0:08:48 > 0:08:52so we kind of have to work around his schedule.
0:08:52 > 0:08:53You're kidding me.
0:08:53 > 0:08:56- I have to work around that douche nozzle?- Afraid so.
0:08:56 > 0:08:57- That's...- Nauseating?
0:08:57 > 0:08:58- It's criminal. - Crime against humanity.
0:08:58 > 0:09:02And he's getting movies? Movies?! He can't act! He's...
0:09:02 > 0:09:05- Block of words.- Talent vacuum. - Negative acting space.
0:09:05 > 0:09:07I hate this goddamn business.
0:09:07 > 0:09:08- I don't blame you.- Who doesn't?
0:09:08 > 0:09:11- See you tomorrow.- Yeah, yeah.- Bye.
0:09:11 > 0:09:12"Douche nozzle."
0:09:12 > 0:09:14Yeah, it's the part of the douche that goes into the...
0:09:14 > 0:09:16- Got it.- You know, the nozzle.
0:09:16 > 0:09:18- Thank you.- Thank you.- Yeah.
0:09:24 > 0:09:26Which one's Stoke again?
0:09:26 > 0:09:27He plays Howie.
0:09:27 > 0:09:28Is he the really good-looking one?
0:09:28 > 0:09:30How do you know he's really good-looking?
0:09:30 > 0:09:32Are you kidding?
0:09:32 > 0:09:33He's a shitty enough actor. He'd have to be.
0:09:36 > 0:09:37Oh, Jesus.
0:09:37 > 0:09:39What?
0:09:39 > 0:09:41It's Sean and Beverly's old assistant.
0:09:42 > 0:09:43Fuck me.
0:09:43 > 0:09:45Matt!
0:09:45 > 0:09:48It's Andrew... Andrew Lesley.
0:09:48 > 0:09:50How are you?
0:09:50 > 0:09:51- No.- No?
0:09:51 > 0:09:52- No.- OK.
0:09:52 > 0:09:55So, new topic.
0:09:55 > 0:09:57- Why aren't you doing my pilot?- What?
0:09:57 > 0:10:00I'm doing this pilot... well, actually, two pilots
0:10:00 > 0:10:03and a screenplay for FOX.
0:10:03 > 0:10:06I have so much on my plate, I need another plate.
0:10:06 > 0:10:11Anyway, there's this one at NBC. It's a drama.
0:10:11 > 0:10:14I'm afraid I didn't even think of you for it.
0:10:14 > 0:10:16That's OK. I never think of you. ANDREW GIGGLES
0:10:16 > 0:10:19But then I saw you sitting here, and it was like,
0:10:19 > 0:10:20"How perfect would he be?"
0:10:20 > 0:10:22Except I've already got a show.
0:10:22 > 0:10:24- Oh, what are you doing?- Uh, Pucks!
0:10:24 > 0:10:26Is that still on?
0:10:28 > 0:10:30Yeah.
0:10:30 > 0:10:31Poor Sean and Bev.
0:10:31 > 0:10:33Back home, they're the flavour of the month,
0:10:33 > 0:10:35then they come here, and no-one wants to eat them.
0:10:35 > 0:10:37- You know, speaking of eating... - Oh, absolutely.
0:10:37 > 0:10:40I'll let you get back to it. Looks scrummy.
0:10:40 > 0:10:43But you're sure there's no way you can do my show?
0:10:43 > 0:10:46- You'd be so right for it.- I'm sure.
0:10:46 > 0:10:48You're breaking my heart.
0:10:48 > 0:10:49I'm heartbroken.
0:10:49 > 0:10:51Mm, mm, mm!
0:10:52 > 0:10:55- Maybe just give it a read. - No. That's OK.
0:10:55 > 0:10:57Oh, come on. Just for shits and giggles.
0:10:57 > 0:10:59I promise you'll love it.
0:11:01 > 0:11:03Anyway, bon appetit.
0:11:11 > 0:11:13OK. Let's talk.
0:11:13 > 0:11:15Really?
0:11:15 > 0:11:17You were right.
0:11:17 > 0:11:21If we're having a problem... fornicationally,
0:11:21 > 0:11:22then we should discuss it.
0:11:24 > 0:11:26- I'd like that.- Good.
0:11:29 > 0:11:31You first.
0:11:31 > 0:11:33All right.
0:11:33 > 0:11:35Well, obviously,
0:11:35 > 0:11:38the fact that we haven't had sex since we got back together
0:11:38 > 0:11:40is troubling for both of us.
0:11:40 > 0:11:43- Agreed.- Over the last few months,
0:11:43 > 0:11:46we have both made choices...
0:11:46 > 0:11:48fornicationally
0:11:48 > 0:11:51that are difficult to recover from.
0:11:51 > 0:11:54Already regretting that word.
0:11:54 > 0:11:57We both have, uh...
0:11:57 > 0:12:00ghosts to contend with.
0:12:00 > 0:12:03I feel like you're about to snap that wine stem.
0:12:03 > 0:12:04Could happen.
0:12:04 > 0:12:08So I see two choices.
0:12:08 > 0:12:09Go.
0:12:09 > 0:12:11One, we never have sex again.
0:12:11 > 0:12:12Please let two be better.
0:12:12 > 0:12:14Seriously, put down the glass.
0:12:15 > 0:12:18Two, we suck it up and power through.
0:12:18 > 0:12:20Oh, yeah.
0:12:20 > 0:12:22We've got to get over this.
0:12:22 > 0:12:24Yes. Well, it's a lot easier for you to get over it.
0:12:24 > 0:12:28I've got to get up and over it, if you know what I mean.
0:12:28 > 0:12:29I do know what you mean.
0:12:29 > 0:12:31No offence, but physiologically,
0:12:31 > 0:12:33I'm the one who has to deliver the goods.
0:12:33 > 0:12:35All you have to do is lie there.
0:12:35 > 0:12:37Just lie there?
0:12:37 > 0:12:39No. No. No. That's not what I...
0:12:39 > 0:12:41If that's the case,
0:12:41 > 0:12:43I-I don't know why you even bother waking me up.
0:12:43 > 0:12:47By the way...this is why I don't like to talk.
0:12:53 > 0:12:55All I'm saying is...
0:12:56 > 0:12:57Keep going.
0:12:57 > 0:13:00All I'm saying is when you've got other people in your head,
0:13:00 > 0:13:02it's a distraction.
0:13:02 > 0:13:05When I've got them, it's pretty much game over.
0:13:05 > 0:13:09I get it, but those people are always going to be in there.
0:13:09 > 0:13:13We can't unfuck them, as your friend Matt would say.
0:13:13 > 0:13:16- When did he say that? - You don't want to know.
0:13:19 > 0:13:23So we just have to do everything in our power
0:13:23 > 0:13:26to make each other forget them.
0:13:26 > 0:13:29For example...
0:13:47 > 0:13:49Ohh!
0:13:49 > 0:13:50"Just lie there."
0:13:50 > 0:13:53- I should never say anything. - Good idea.
0:14:06 > 0:14:07What are you reading?
0:14:07 > 0:14:10- That asshole's script.- Why?
0:14:10 > 0:14:12So I can tell Sean and Beverly how shitty it is.
0:14:12 > 0:14:15- And?- It's fucking brilliant.
0:14:15 > 0:14:17Huh.
0:14:17 > 0:14:20Guess sometimes assholes don't make shit.
0:14:21 > 0:14:23What?
0:14:23 > 0:14:24I like you.
0:14:32 > 0:14:34I hate my dick.
0:14:34 > 0:14:36Don't say that.
0:14:39 > 0:14:41If this were a movie,
0:14:41 > 0:14:44my dick would be the villain.
0:14:45 > 0:14:49He's the best friend that just abandons the hero.
0:14:49 > 0:14:51If this were a movie,
0:14:51 > 0:14:54your dick would totally come through for you in the end.
0:14:54 > 0:14:58- When? The movie's almost over. - No, it's not. You'll see.
0:14:58 > 0:15:00Oh, he'll be there for you.
0:15:00 > 0:15:04He's just creating... dramatic tension.
0:15:04 > 0:15:06Because I'm not tense enough?
0:15:06 > 0:15:07Just wait.
0:15:07 > 0:15:09When everyone has written your dick off,
0:15:09 > 0:15:13suddenly there he'll be... coming over the hill.
0:15:13 > 0:15:15My dick is coming over a hill?
0:15:15 > 0:15:18Mm-hmm. With reinforcements.
0:15:18 > 0:15:20- So it's not just him.- No.
0:15:20 > 0:15:21- There are many dicks...- Right.
0:15:21 > 0:15:24..coming over this hill.
0:15:25 > 0:15:28- How will I know which one's mine? - Oh, you'll know.
0:15:28 > 0:15:31Yours...is the one riding in front.
0:15:33 > 0:15:35So these are equestrian dicks?
0:15:35 > 0:15:36Apparently so.
0:15:36 > 0:15:41And they ride to your rescue, tall in the saddle,
0:15:41 > 0:15:44and there is much celebrating, with...
0:15:44 > 0:15:47erections and orgasms
0:15:47 > 0:15:50and a big festival of...
0:15:50 > 0:15:52- What?- ..splooge.
0:15:52 > 0:15:55I am so not seeing this movie.
0:16:05 > 0:16:07Are you sure he said 6:00am?
0:16:07 > 0:16:09That's what he said.
0:16:10 > 0:16:13I got caught speeding cos I was afraid I was gonna be late.
0:16:15 > 0:16:18I cancelled a dentist appointment.
0:16:18 > 0:16:20I want to get veneers.
0:16:20 > 0:16:21Let's see. Smile.
0:16:23 > 0:16:24Mm-hmm.
0:16:28 > 0:16:29How long do we have to sit here?
0:16:29 > 0:16:32I don't know what to tell you.
0:16:40 > 0:16:42What did you say?
0:16:46 > 0:16:48What did you say?
0:16:50 > 0:16:52You got to get me this.
0:16:52 > 0:16:53I'm an agent. I'm not a magician.
0:16:53 > 0:16:56Come on. It's fucking amazing. Have you read it?
0:16:56 > 0:16:59Yeah. Everybody's read it. That's why everybody wants to do it.
0:16:59 > 0:17:00Yeah. Well, he said he wants me.
0:17:00 > 0:17:03- It doesn't matter what he wants. You're on a show.- I'll quit.
0:17:03 > 0:17:05- You can't quit.- I could quit.
0:17:05 > 0:17:08- You have a contract. - Fuck the contract.
0:17:08 > 0:17:10You can't fuck the contract.
0:17:10 > 0:17:12It's unfuckable, like a Disney character.
0:17:12 > 0:17:14So what am I supposed to do?
0:17:14 > 0:17:16You smile and cash your cheque. That's what you do.
0:17:16 > 0:17:18They're paying you a shitload of money.
0:17:18 > 0:17:19So I'll give them back the money.
0:17:19 > 0:17:21You never give back the money!
0:17:21 > 0:17:22OK.
0:17:23 > 0:17:26- HE SIGHS - Listen.
0:17:26 > 0:17:28Pucks!, uh, isn't gonna last for ever,
0:17:28 > 0:17:30then we'll find you something great.
0:17:30 > 0:17:32I promise. It's all good. All right?
0:17:34 > 0:17:35All right.
0:17:35 > 0:17:37All right. I love you, bud.
0:17:38 > 0:17:40Fucking actors.
0:17:40 > 0:17:41- Still here.- I knew that.
0:17:41 > 0:17:44- Fuck me.- Still here.
0:17:44 > 0:17:46Jesus!
0:17:49 > 0:17:51Hey. Uh, you guys got a sec?
0:17:51 > 0:17:53- What's up?- Uh...
0:17:54 > 0:17:56I got a favour.
0:17:56 > 0:17:57- Sure. Anything.- No.
0:17:57 > 0:17:58First, what is it?
0:17:58 > 0:17:59Right. What is it?
0:18:00 > 0:18:03- Kill me.- I'm sorry. What?
0:18:03 > 0:18:05You got to kill Lyman. Please.
0:18:05 > 0:18:07- W-what...- Sorry, what do you mean?
0:18:07 > 0:18:09I got to get off the show. I'm sorry.
0:18:09 > 0:18:11I can't quit. But if you kill me...
0:18:11 > 0:18:13We can't kill you.
0:18:13 > 0:18:15Sure, you can. You created me.
0:18:15 > 0:18:18Don't you think if we could kill you, we'd have done it by now?
0:18:23 > 0:18:25There's this pilot at NBC.
0:18:25 > 0:18:28It's fucking genius.
0:18:28 > 0:18:31It's a one-hour like nothing I've ever done before,
0:18:31 > 0:18:33and I know I could play the shit out of this guy.
0:18:33 > 0:18:37But I can't do it if I'm doing this,
0:18:37 > 0:18:39and you're barely even using me now.
0:18:39 > 0:18:42Please? Just think about it.
0:18:42 > 0:18:43I don't know.
0:18:43 > 0:18:45Kill Lyman?
0:18:45 > 0:18:47Can't imagine the network going for it.
0:18:47 > 0:18:49- At least find out? - Isn't this a little premature?
0:18:49 > 0:18:51Has NBC even offered it to you?
0:18:51 > 0:18:53No, but the writer really wants me.
0:18:53 > 0:18:55Oh. Who's the writer?
0:18:55 > 0:18:57Uh...I'm not sure.
0:18:57 > 0:19:00This genius writer wants you for the role of a lifetime,
0:19:00 > 0:19:02but you're not sure?
0:19:11 > 0:19:12Andrew Lesley.
0:19:16 > 0:19:18Sorry. What?
0:19:18 > 0:19:20Andrew Lesley?
0:19:20 > 0:19:22Our Andrew Lesley?
0:19:22 > 0:19:24M-maybe.
0:19:24 > 0:19:26You want to leave us...
0:19:26 > 0:19:30to do a show with Andrew fucking Lesley?
0:19:30 > 0:19:34Look, I-I know. I know. But his script is amazing.
0:19:34 > 0:19:37- My ears are bleeding. - How did this even happen?
0:19:37 > 0:19:38Were you at some party
0:19:38 > 0:19:40with him and Hitler and the Manson family?
0:19:40 > 0:19:42No. No. He came up to me at a restaurant.
0:19:42 > 0:19:45The bloody nerve. Trying to poach you from us?
0:19:45 > 0:19:48And that you would even consider...
0:19:48 > 0:19:50That little shit weasel,
0:19:50 > 0:19:55with his stupid...scarves and his obsequious mewling.
0:19:55 > 0:19:57Even when he first started working for us... "Bev, darling!
0:19:57 > 0:19:59"Can I get you a little cappuccino?
0:19:59 > 0:20:01"How do you like your foam?"
0:20:01 > 0:20:02Fucker!
0:20:02 > 0:20:04Hey, do you think I like coming to you guys like this?
0:20:04 > 0:20:06But just read it.
0:20:06 > 0:20:08- You'll see.- Oh, my God.
0:20:08 > 0:20:10Are you actually asking us
0:20:10 > 0:20:13to read that douche nozzle's script?
0:20:13 > 0:20:15Hey.
0:20:15 > 0:20:17You expect us to validate his wonderfulness?!
0:20:17 > 0:20:19- I just... - Of all the appalling,
0:20:19 > 0:20:22offensive, truly galling things you have done
0:20:22 > 0:20:26- in the short time that we have known you...- Ow! Ow!
0:20:26 > 0:20:28You have no self-awareness! Hit him harder!
0:20:28 > 0:20:31- All right!- No, my friend.
0:20:31 > 0:20:33We will not kill you off for Andrew Lesley.
0:20:33 > 0:20:35It's bad enough you wrecked our little show
0:20:35 > 0:20:37by grafting a hockey stick onto it.
0:20:37 > 0:20:38You do not get to walk away.
0:20:38 > 0:20:41You will stay here in the shit with the rest of us.
0:20:55 > 0:20:56KNOCK AT DOOR
0:20:56 > 0:20:58Morning!
0:20:59 > 0:21:03So, uh, we missed you yesterday.
0:21:03 > 0:21:04- Hmm?- 6:00am?
0:21:04 > 0:21:06Saddle up the troops?
0:21:06 > 0:21:09- Shit. Shit.- Yep.
0:21:09 > 0:21:13Everybody was here. They all brought their truth.
0:21:13 > 0:21:14Jesus. Right.
0:21:14 > 0:21:15Uh, I, uh...
0:21:16 > 0:21:19Yeah, I should have called, but...but I, uh...
0:21:19 > 0:21:21What?
0:21:21 > 0:21:23I...
0:21:23 > 0:21:26I had to put my dog down.
0:21:26 > 0:21:27Oh, my God.
0:21:27 > 0:21:28Yeah. It was pretty horrible.
0:21:28 > 0:21:30I'm so sorry.
0:21:30 > 0:21:33I didn't know you had a dog.
0:21:33 > 0:21:36Yeah. He was a...Weimaraner.
0:21:36 > 0:21:38I've had him since I was like 12.
0:21:38 > 0:21:40Wow.
0:21:42 > 0:21:43How old was he?
0:21:45 > 0:21:4727...
0:21:47 > 0:21:4927?
0:21:49 > 0:21:52I've never heard of a dog living that long.
0:21:52 > 0:21:53Well, now you have.
0:21:55 > 0:21:56What was wrong with him?
0:21:56 > 0:21:59- He was fucking old.- Sure.
0:22:00 > 0:22:02Do you have any other pets?
0:22:02 > 0:22:04No. Just the, uh, dog.
0:22:04 > 0:22:06- Wow.- Yeah. Wow.
0:22:06 > 0:22:10Now he's gone and it's just me, alone.
0:22:11 > 0:22:13Going to come home tonight to nobody.
0:22:17 > 0:22:18Nobody.
0:22:22 > 0:22:23I'm all alone.
0:22:26 > 0:22:28I'm so alone.
0:22:28 > 0:22:29Oh, you're not alone.
0:22:29 > 0:22:31- I said I'm alone!- OK.
0:22:31 > 0:22:33Now I've lost count, and I've got to start all over again.
0:22:36 > 0:22:38You know...
0:22:38 > 0:22:42Sometimes it's nice to have a little alone time...
0:22:42 > 0:22:45soak in a tub, finish that Stephen King book.
0:22:45 > 0:22:47- Please stop talking.- Sure.
0:22:47 > 0:22:50No. I'm fine.
0:22:50 > 0:22:52- I'm fine.- I know you are.
0:22:52 > 0:22:53Sorry.
0:22:53 > 0:22:55OK. Do me a favour.
0:22:55 > 0:22:57Get me everyone's name who was there yesterday.
0:22:57 > 0:22:59I want to apologise to them personally.
0:22:59 > 0:23:01That's so not necessary.
0:23:01 > 0:23:03No, no. They deserve that. They're good people.
0:23:03 > 0:23:06Well, all right. Great.
0:23:06 > 0:23:08And we'll just reschedule.
0:23:08 > 0:23:09When do you want to do it?
0:23:09 > 0:23:10- Now.- Now?
0:23:10 > 0:23:13I want to do it right now.
0:23:13 > 0:23:15I don't know if everyone's available.
0:23:15 > 0:23:17Then we'll do it ourselves. We don't need them.
0:23:17 > 0:23:19Fuck them. Fuck them!
0:23:19 > 0:23:21OK. Consider them fucked.
0:23:25 > 0:23:26Knock, knock.
0:23:26 > 0:23:27Hello.
0:23:27 > 0:23:31So, Matt just told me about wanting to leave the show.
0:23:31 > 0:23:32He's not going anywhere.
0:23:32 > 0:23:34I hope not. I can't imagine it without him.
0:23:34 > 0:23:35Good, cos you won't have to.
0:23:35 > 0:23:38Sure. But say it does come to that.
0:23:38 > 0:23:40- God forbid.- Which it's not going to.
0:23:40 > 0:23:43No. I know. But say it does.
0:23:43 > 0:23:45I just want you guys to know...
0:23:45 > 0:23:46I can skate.
0:23:48 > 0:23:51- What?- I could totally coach that team.
0:23:51 > 0:23:53I could play his part in my sleep.
0:23:53 > 0:23:55Are you suggesting you replace Matt?
0:23:55 > 0:23:57It could totally work!
0:23:57 > 0:23:58You'd get a ton of stories from it.
0:23:58 > 0:24:02The librarian becomes the coach? I'd watch that.
0:24:02 > 0:24:03R-right.
0:24:03 > 0:24:08Well, uh, why don't you let us discuss this?
0:24:08 > 0:24:09Absolutely.
0:24:09 > 0:24:11And...just saying... I think it makes
0:24:11 > 0:24:13a strong feminist statement having a female coach.
0:24:13 > 0:24:16Plus, imagine these on ice.
0:24:22 > 0:24:24All right. Let's do some damage here.
0:24:24 > 0:24:26- Ready!- Monday, 8:00.
0:24:27 > 0:24:30Pucks! Bye-bye!
0:24:30 > 0:24:36- 8:30...- Um... Can we back up to 8:00 for a sec?
0:24:36 > 0:24:38What are you doing? What...
0:24:38 > 0:24:39I like Pucks!
0:24:39 > 0:24:41- No.- I'm sorry.
0:24:41 > 0:24:43I know it doesn't reinvent the wheel.
0:24:43 > 0:24:45But I believe in these writers,
0:24:45 > 0:24:47and the show has never gotten a fair shake.
0:24:47 > 0:24:50I say we give it one more chance.
0:24:50 > 0:24:52That's my truth.
0:24:54 > 0:24:56And it never got a fair shake, why?
0:24:56 > 0:25:00Because it's...it's opposite that stupid talking dog.
0:25:00 > 0:25:03Anything against it is going to get buried.
0:25:03 > 0:25:05Explain to me why that's a hit. Seriously, what the fuck?
0:25:05 > 0:25:07So it's a dog that talks.
0:25:07 > 0:25:08It says funny things.
0:25:08 > 0:25:10I so shouldn't be in this business.
0:25:10 > 0:25:12I look at that show. I think it's insipid.
0:25:12 > 0:25:15It doesn't make me laugh. I don't even like dogs.
0:25:17 > 0:25:19Except, obviously, for...
0:25:21 > 0:25:23..Zoloft.
0:25:23 > 0:25:24Mm.
0:25:29 > 0:25:33Hey. We have to talk.
0:25:33 > 0:25:35- Uh-oh.- No. It's good.
0:25:35 > 0:25:36Really good.
0:25:37 > 0:25:38You slept with him.
0:25:38 > 0:25:40Who? Oh!
0:25:40 > 0:25:42No, no.
0:25:43 > 0:25:44No.
0:25:44 > 0:25:46But it's still good.
0:25:47 > 0:25:50Castor wanted to cancel Pucks!
0:25:50 > 0:25:52- Oh, my God.- Wait. Wait.
0:25:52 > 0:25:57Before you freak out... I managed to talk him out of it.
0:25:57 > 0:25:59And we're moving the show to a new night
0:25:59 > 0:26:02so you're not opposite the talking dog.
0:26:02 > 0:26:04Ta-da!
0:26:04 > 0:26:08- Oh. Great. - No, no, no. It's a good thing.
0:26:08 > 0:26:11And not like sometimes when I say it's a good thing.
0:26:11 > 0:26:13It's actually a good thing.
0:26:13 > 0:26:14Mm...
0:26:14 > 0:26:16What?
0:26:16 > 0:26:17It's just...
0:26:22 > 0:26:25Sean and I are having a very tough time of it.
0:26:25 > 0:26:28We would do so much better if the show went away
0:26:28 > 0:26:32and we could go home, where there aren't as many...
0:26:32 > 0:26:34ghosts.
0:26:37 > 0:26:41So you could just, like, pack up and go home?
0:26:41 > 0:26:44Seriously? Without looking back.
0:26:45 > 0:26:47Wow.
0:26:47 > 0:26:48What?
0:26:48 > 0:26:49It's...
0:26:49 > 0:26:52It's...nothing.
0:26:57 > 0:26:58- What...- I just...
0:26:58 > 0:27:02I guess I just didn't realise there was so little here for...
0:27:02 > 0:27:05But that's fine. Really.
0:27:05 > 0:27:07I get it.
0:27:07 > 0:27:09I just... I would have thought that there were...
0:27:09 > 0:27:14there were...things, people. But clearly...
0:27:14 > 0:27:17You know, I don't even like Pucks! that much.
0:27:17 > 0:27:18I just did this for you.
0:27:18 > 0:27:20What's going on?
0:27:22 > 0:27:24SHE CLEARS THROAT
0:27:24 > 0:27:26Castor wanted to cancel Pucks!
0:27:26 > 0:27:28- What?!- It's OK. Relax.
0:27:28 > 0:27:30I talked him out of it.
0:27:30 > 0:27:34You... Jesus Christ. You talked him out of it?!
0:27:34 > 0:27:36Goddamn it. Fuck you, Carol!
0:27:41 > 0:27:43At least he knew your name.
0:27:43 > 0:27:45What just happened?
0:27:45 > 0:27:47Castor wants to cancel Pucks! Carol convinced him not to.
0:27:47 > 0:27:49They're gonna try us on a different night
0:27:49 > 0:27:52- so we're not opposite the dog. - Oh, my God! That's fantastic!
0:27:52 > 0:27:54You're amazing! Thank you so much!
0:27:54 > 0:27:56Too late!