0:00:03 > 0:00:05Monday, eight o'clock.
0:00:05 > 0:00:07Pucks. Bye-bye.
0:00:07 > 0:00:08I like Pucks.
0:00:08 > 0:00:12- No...- I'm sorry. I say we give it one more chance.
0:00:12 > 0:00:15I got to get off the show. I'm sorry.
0:00:15 > 0:00:17I can't quit, but if you kill me...
0:00:17 > 0:00:20- We can't kill you. - Sure, you can. You created me.
0:00:20 > 0:00:22Don't you think if we could kill you, we'd have done it by now?
0:00:22 > 0:00:24What did you say?
0:00:28 > 0:00:31What did you say?
0:00:31 > 0:00:34Maybe we should try...adjusting your medication again.
0:00:36 > 0:00:37Maybe.
0:01:23 > 0:01:26This programme contains very strong language and adult humour.
0:01:32 > 0:01:34What's going on?
0:01:34 > 0:01:36More news from Peru.
0:01:39 > 0:01:41Oh, God.
0:01:41 > 0:01:43- So awful.- I know.
0:01:43 > 0:01:45Unbelievable.
0:01:45 > 0:01:49You keep thinking... there's people under there.
0:01:49 > 0:01:50Makes me want to cry.
0:01:57 > 0:01:59- Is that the new iPad?- Yeah.
0:01:59 > 0:02:02- Like it? - Well...- It's not that different.
0:02:02 > 0:02:04I hate my phone.
0:02:04 > 0:02:06You ready? >
0:02:06 > 0:02:08Mm.
0:02:08 > 0:02:12Er, may we, er, have everyone's attention, please?
0:02:12 > 0:02:15Hello! If, er, everyone could, um, gather round.
0:02:16 > 0:02:19We actually have a piece of good news.
0:02:19 > 0:02:23The network has decided, in its infinite wisdom,
0:02:23 > 0:02:26to move our little show to a different night
0:02:26 > 0:02:30so we will no longer be opposite the much-reviled talking dog!
0:02:30 > 0:02:32THEY ALL CHEER
0:02:32 > 0:02:35- Do we know what night yet? - Saturdays at eight.
0:02:35 > 0:02:36THEY ALL GROAN
0:02:36 > 0:02:39Hey, this is still good.
0:02:39 > 0:02:41OK, fine, Saturday is shitty.
0:02:41 > 0:02:43But at least they're giving us a chance.
0:02:43 > 0:02:45Don't be dicks.
0:02:46 > 0:02:49Well, thank you, Morning.
0:02:49 > 0:02:51Words to live by.
0:02:51 > 0:02:53Don't be...dicks.
0:02:55 > 0:02:59So...that's our good news.
0:03:01 > 0:03:03Yay.
0:03:08 > 0:03:09That'll totally work.
0:03:09 > 0:03:12- May we see you for a moment? - Yeah. Sure.
0:03:12 > 0:03:14What's up?
0:03:14 > 0:03:18Er, apparently, the network booked you on Jay Leno to promote the new night.
0:03:18 > 0:03:20- Yeah.- And they're saying you're refusing.
0:03:20 > 0:03:21Right.
0:03:22 > 0:03:25Um...why?
0:03:25 > 0:03:26Seriously?
0:03:26 > 0:03:29Last week I asked you to kill me off the show.
0:03:29 > 0:03:31- What did you say?- No.
0:03:31 > 0:03:33And now you're asking me to promote the show.
0:03:33 > 0:03:34- Yes.- Uh, no.
0:03:34 > 0:03:38Look, I don't know if I mentioned it, but I just want this thing to fucking die.
0:03:38 > 0:03:42Perhaps you can tell Jay you want it to die Saturday nights at eight.
0:03:42 > 0:03:44Cute. Listen, I'm hardly in it.
0:03:44 > 0:03:47Now they're moving us to the worst night of the week?
0:03:47 > 0:03:49Why should I do anything to make this shit last longer?
0:03:49 > 0:03:52Why do you have to be such a selfish prick?
0:03:52 > 0:03:53Look around.
0:03:53 > 0:03:57There are 150 people here whose jobs hang in the balance.
0:03:57 > 0:04:01For once in your life, it's not just about you.
0:04:01 > 0:04:04Think about the other people.
0:04:09 > 0:04:12That seems unfair, but all right.
0:04:17 > 0:04:21I can't stop thinking about that whole Peru thing.
0:04:21 > 0:04:23All those people.
0:04:23 > 0:04:24Horrible.
0:04:24 > 0:04:28I don't know if I could survive something like that, I really don't. It's my worst nightmare.
0:04:28 > 0:04:30You want to talk worst nightmares?
0:04:30 > 0:04:34- Guess who's coming in to pitch tomorrow.- Who?
0:04:34 > 0:04:36Merc La-pi-dus.
0:04:36 > 0:04:38No. Pitch what?
0:04:38 > 0:04:43- Shows.- Merc Lapidus is pitching shows to you?! That's insane.
0:04:43 > 0:04:47That's like Henry VIII pitching to Anne Boleyn's head.
0:04:47 > 0:04:52See, stuff like that is probably why you don't have a lot of friends.
0:04:54 > 0:04:56And why do you have to do this?
0:04:56 > 0:04:58We've got a first-look deal with him.
0:04:58 > 0:05:00It was part of his exit package.
0:05:00 > 0:05:03Sounds awful. Just the two of you in a room.
0:05:03 > 0:05:04Oh, God, no.
0:05:04 > 0:05:08Andy and Myra will be there, plus Castor.
0:05:09 > 0:05:14Even so, I am dreading it, just seeing Merc again.
0:05:14 > 0:05:18It's like the thing that wouldn't die. SHE SHUDDERS
0:05:18 > 0:05:20You know the scariest part?
0:05:20 > 0:05:25What if I see him and all these feelings come rushing back?
0:05:26 > 0:05:28Let me just say this.
0:05:28 > 0:05:31If you get back together with Merc Lapidus,
0:05:31 > 0:05:34I will lose every shred of respect I have for you.
0:05:34 > 0:05:36- You have respect for me?- Eee!
0:05:45 > 0:05:48Hey. You know this thing tomorrow night?
0:05:48 > 0:05:50You guys want to go together?
0:05:50 > 0:05:52Uh, first of all, no. And what thing?
0:05:52 > 0:05:54The telethon for the Peru thing.
0:05:54 > 0:05:56- There's a telethon?- Yeah.
0:05:56 > 0:06:00George Clooney's doing it, Matt Damon, Taylor Swift, Jay-Z.
0:06:00 > 0:06:02- And you?- Uh-huh.
0:06:02 > 0:06:04Fuck me.
0:06:04 > 0:06:07My publicist is trying to get me next to Jennifer Garner.
0:06:07 > 0:06:09Got to get me some camera time, right?
0:06:09 > 0:06:12Figure Ben Affleck comes over, I'm in the shot.
0:06:12 > 0:06:14Whole thing's pretty cool.
0:06:14 > 0:06:17Not for the 20,000 people that were killed.
0:06:17 > 0:06:18Where?
0:06:18 > 0:06:20Peru?
0:06:20 > 0:06:23Oh. Yeah. Right. Totally.
0:06:23 > 0:06:25So, you guys, uh, done one of these before?
0:06:25 > 0:06:29Uh, yeah. I did 9/11. AND Katrina.
0:06:29 > 0:06:32- Nice.- I did the Exxon Valdez and Three Mile Island.
0:06:33 > 0:06:35Huh.
0:06:35 > 0:06:38Anyway, so this is my first one, it's kind of a big deal.
0:06:38 > 0:06:40So here's my question...
0:06:42 > 0:06:44Sport jacket or no sport jacket?
0:06:45 > 0:06:49Just like an open shirt? What do you think? Like, tie? No tie?
0:06:49 > 0:06:52Uh...I don't fucking care.
0:06:52 > 0:06:53OK, so, no jacket.
0:06:53 > 0:06:56And I figure they can't see my pants, so that doesn't matter, right?
0:06:56 > 0:06:58I'd still wear them.
0:06:58 > 0:07:00Exactly.
0:07:00 > 0:07:02- Also,- I- don't have to give money, do I?
0:07:04 > 0:07:06What?
0:07:14 > 0:07:16Did you do the one for the Hindenburg, too?
0:07:16 > 0:07:17Dick.
0:07:21 > 0:07:24So, how are the new meds working out?
0:07:24 > 0:07:27Better, I think. Yeah. I'm not hearing so many...
0:07:29 > 0:07:31- Voices?- Yeah. Not as much.
0:07:31 > 0:07:32And the rage?
0:07:32 > 0:07:34Pretty good. Pretty good.
0:07:34 > 0:07:36Well, that's encouraging. Side effects?
0:07:36 > 0:07:40Dry mouth, constipation, discoloured urine?
0:07:40 > 0:07:42Everything makes me hard.
0:07:42 > 0:07:44- Talk about that.- Everything.
0:07:44 > 0:07:46This morning, when I was getting gas,
0:07:46 > 0:07:48I got a boner putting the nozzle into the tank.
0:07:48 > 0:07:49Huh.
0:07:49 > 0:07:52- Does masturbating help?- Eventually.
0:07:52 > 0:07:54But it takes fucking for ever.
0:07:54 > 0:07:57I'm getting calluses on my fingers. I might as well take up the guitar.
0:07:57 > 0:07:58Huh.
0:07:59 > 0:08:01Look, I understand this is difficult,
0:08:01 > 0:08:05but I would like to ask you to hang in there just a little bit longer.
0:08:05 > 0:08:07You're kidding, right? I can't roll over at night!
0:08:07 > 0:08:10I hear you, but other than that, the meds seem to be working.
0:08:10 > 0:08:13Hopefully, with time, this particular side effect will, uh...
0:08:14 > 0:08:16..abate.
0:08:17 > 0:08:21Cut. That's a wrap.
0:08:22 > 0:08:24- Well, good luck tonight on Leno. - Oh, thanks.
0:08:24 > 0:08:28Thanks. Hey, you guys want to come? Jamie's going to be there. We could all go out after.
0:08:28 > 0:08:31- Sorry. We have to work. - What work? We're wrapped.
0:08:31 > 0:08:34Maybe you're wrapped. We've still got hours yet.
0:08:34 > 0:08:35Doing what?
0:08:37 > 0:08:39- The writing.- Is it stuff for me?
0:08:39 > 0:08:42No, but other people have to say words.
0:08:42 > 0:08:44- Are the words ABOUT me? - No.- Then fuck it.
0:08:44 > 0:08:48Let the other writers cover for once. Come on. They can do it.
0:08:48 > 0:08:49Do you even KNOW the other writers?
0:08:49 > 0:08:51Yeah, I know the other writers.
0:08:51 > 0:08:54- I ran into one at a club this weekend.- Who?
0:08:55 > 0:08:58I want to say...Alex?
0:08:58 > 0:08:59We don't have an Alex.
0:08:59 > 0:09:01The kind of twitchy Jewish one.
0:09:01 > 0:09:03- That's all of them.- Whatever.
0:09:03 > 0:09:04Come with me. You want to meet Jay?
0:09:04 > 0:09:06Not especially.
0:09:06 > 0:09:07Might be fun.
0:09:07 > 0:09:10We have so much to do.
0:09:10 > 0:09:13- You can have my gift bag.- Do I have time to change?- There you go.
0:09:21 > 0:09:23I just want to get this over with.
0:09:23 > 0:09:26I know. It's like waiting for Santa...
0:09:26 > 0:09:30if Santa was a bullshitting, two-faced asshole who fired me once.
0:09:30 > 0:09:32Merc Lapidus is here.
0:09:32 > 0:09:33Ho, ho, ho.
0:09:33 > 0:09:36OK. Bring him in.
0:09:36 > 0:09:38And please tell Castor so he can join us.
0:09:38 > 0:09:40Got it.
0:09:40 > 0:09:42You OK?
0:09:42 > 0:09:44Absolutely. I'm fine.
0:09:45 > 0:09:48TV: 'Rescuers worked feverishly through the night,
0:09:48 > 0:09:52'searching for any signs from inside the tunnel,
0:09:52 > 0:09:57'and then suddenly, About 45 minutes ago, a miracle.
0:09:57 > 0:10:01'A faint tapping sound from deep under the rubble.
0:10:01 > 0:10:03'Using the latest audio equipment,
0:10:03 > 0:10:06'rescuers established contact with a woman.
0:10:08 > 0:10:11'According to sources, she is trapped in a space
0:10:11 > 0:10:15'not much bigger than a coffin.
0:10:15 > 0:10:19'One can't help but imagine what it must be like for her,
0:10:19 > 0:10:23'buried in this dark, dank hole
0:10:23 > 0:10:25'deep in the ground
0:10:25 > 0:10:30'not knowing if she will ever see daylight again.
0:10:30 > 0:10:34'We're told she's barely able to move,
0:10:34 > 0:10:37'her body pinned beneath the debris.
0:10:37 > 0:10:42'A prisoner encased in stone and twisted steel.
0:10:42 > 0:10:48'Rescuers are hoping to snake a tube through the wreckage
0:10:48 > 0:10:51'to bring this woman much-needed hydration.
0:10:52 > 0:10:56'Presumably, she's gone over 36 hours without water.'
0:10:56 > 0:10:59- INTERCOM:- 'They're ready for you for the Merc Lapidus meeting.'
0:10:59 > 0:11:01I'll come as soon as I can.
0:11:01 > 0:11:03TV: 'And, of course, very...'
0:11:04 > 0:11:05There they are.
0:11:05 > 0:11:08Ha-ha-ha! You see?
0:11:08 > 0:11:09You don't get rid of me that easy.
0:11:09 > 0:11:11Come here!
0:11:11 > 0:11:13That's O... OK.
0:11:13 > 0:11:15There's my queen of comedy!
0:11:17 > 0:11:19Mr Button! Come here.
0:11:19 > 0:11:21Why don't we all sit down?
0:11:22 > 0:11:24- No. That's me.- Whoops!
0:11:24 > 0:11:26HE LAUGHS
0:11:26 > 0:11:29So, how is everybody?
0:11:29 > 0:11:32- Miss me yet? - We might if you didn't come back.
0:11:34 > 0:11:37Castor is stuck on a call. He'll join as soon as he can.
0:11:37 > 0:11:40Oh, that's fine. It'll give us all a chance to catch up.
0:11:41 > 0:11:44Great(!) Hmm...
0:11:49 > 0:11:51Look at this.
0:11:51 > 0:11:54Other than a Tonight Show mug, which I'll never use...
0:11:54 > 0:11:55men's cologne...
0:11:57 > 0:11:59..a tie...
0:12:03 > 0:12:06Tonight Show cuff links. This is all crap for men.
0:12:06 > 0:12:08It was meant for me.
0:12:08 > 0:12:10Tell them you want a girl's bag.
0:12:10 > 0:12:11Yeah. I'm not doing that.
0:12:11 > 0:12:14- If you don't want it, I'll take it. - I didn't say I didn't want it.
0:12:14 > 0:12:16Hey, you made it.
0:12:16 > 0:12:18Thank you. Sorry I'm late.
0:12:18 > 0:12:21I was working the phones, raising money for Peru.
0:12:21 > 0:12:24Now they're saying it's the third-worst natural disaster
0:12:24 > 0:12:26in the history of Latin America.
0:12:26 > 0:12:27A comb!
0:12:27 > 0:12:31Who still uses a comb? This is bullshit!
0:12:32 > 0:12:33- Hey, Matt.- Hey.
0:12:33 > 0:12:36- So, Jay is fine with the mosquito story.- Great.
0:12:36 > 0:12:38There may not be time for the thing about your kids.
0:12:38 > 0:12:41Ah. What if I don't talk about Pucks?
0:12:41 > 0:12:43Hopefully we'll have time for all of it.
0:12:43 > 0:12:44OK.
0:12:44 > 0:12:48Oh, uh, by the way, um, I'm fine staying on the couch for Zac Efron's segment.
0:12:48 > 0:12:53Um, actually, Zac's up first, and then he has to take off,
0:12:53 > 0:12:55so we're good.
0:12:55 > 0:12:57Uh, wait a minute. I'm second?
0:12:57 > 0:12:58Uh, yeah.
0:12:58 > 0:13:00Uh, no.
0:13:00 > 0:13:03- Yeah.- No. That's wrong. I'm always first,
0:13:03 > 0:13:05I'm...I'm never second.
0:13:05 > 0:13:07Uh...not sure what to tell you.
0:13:07 > 0:13:09Well, there's got to be a mistake.
0:13:09 > 0:13:11It's not.
0:13:13 > 0:13:15Does Jay know about this?
0:13:20 > 0:13:23And did you see the pictures of that church? Oh!
0:13:23 > 0:13:26I'm telling you, my heart breaks for those people.
0:13:26 > 0:13:28Those poor, poor people.
0:13:30 > 0:13:31Peru.
0:13:31 > 0:13:33Never been there.
0:13:33 > 0:13:35Not going now.
0:13:35 > 0:13:36Mm...
0:13:38 > 0:13:41I don't know what's keeping Castor.
0:13:41 > 0:13:43- Why don't we start without him? - No! It's OK!
0:13:43 > 0:13:44I can wait for the big guy.
0:13:44 > 0:13:46O-K!
0:13:48 > 0:13:52Peter, please find out how much longer Castor's going to be.
0:13:54 > 0:13:57TV: 'Although rescuers can still hear her moans,
0:13:57 > 0:13:59'they are definitely getting weaker.
0:13:59 > 0:14:03'For now, all that any of us can do is pray...'
0:14:03 > 0:14:05- Oh, please, God... - '..that these rescuers...'
0:14:05 > 0:14:08- INTERCOM:- 'They're asking again about the Merc Lapidus meeting.'
0:14:08 > 0:14:10I'm not coming!
0:14:10 > 0:14:12TV: '..And dig this former...'
0:14:14 > 0:14:15Ah. Thanks.
0:14:17 > 0:14:18Ah.
0:14:18 > 0:14:24Apparently, Castor just got called away to an emergency meeting out of the office,
0:14:24 > 0:14:28so it looks like he's not going to be joining us after all.
0:14:28 > 0:14:30Yeah. Screw him.
0:14:30 > 0:14:32Everyone knows you've always run this place anyway.
0:14:34 > 0:14:35SHE SIGHS
0:14:35 > 0:14:37So, what have you got?
0:14:37 > 0:14:38All right.
0:14:38 > 0:14:40The first one is a one-hour
0:14:40 > 0:14:43with a bit of a fantasy/horror slant.
0:14:43 > 0:14:45Ooh! OK.
0:14:45 > 0:14:46In a word...
0:14:46 > 0:14:48gargoyles!
0:14:51 > 0:14:52SHE LAUGHS NERVOUSLY
0:14:52 > 0:14:55Um, I don't know if you remember,
0:14:55 > 0:14:59but right before you left, we actually explored this arena.
0:15:01 > 0:15:04- We did?- But I'm eager to hear your take on it.
0:15:05 > 0:15:08Well, it's... That's pretty much it so far.
0:15:08 > 0:15:10I mean, come on - gargoyles!
0:15:10 > 0:15:15Right. Um, I think it needs a little more development.
0:15:15 > 0:15:19Character, story, themes, a premise.
0:15:19 > 0:15:21Fair enough. I-I hear you.
0:15:21 > 0:15:23Also, you should just know...
0:15:23 > 0:15:28A concern that I always had with... gargoyles as a concept,
0:15:28 > 0:15:30in terms of the jeopardy,
0:15:30 > 0:15:34it seems like if you just avoid gothic buildings.
0:15:36 > 0:15:37Huh.
0:15:37 > 0:15:43But maybe there's a reason why the characters have to be
0:15:43 > 0:15:44near gothic buildings,
0:15:44 > 0:15:48like, um, it's set at a university or something.
0:15:48 > 0:15:51Well, there you go! Bing! We solved it.
0:15:52 > 0:15:55OK. Well, let's stick a pin in that.
0:15:55 > 0:15:57What else have you got?
0:15:57 > 0:15:59All right. This one's a comedy.
0:16:00 > 0:16:01Up your alley.
0:16:01 > 0:16:03Mm...
0:16:03 > 0:16:05Second? I'm on second?!
0:16:05 > 0:16:07Why would they do that to you?
0:16:07 > 0:16:09It's got to be Jay.
0:16:11 > 0:16:13It's cos I took that fucking Lamborghini.
0:16:13 > 0:16:16It's a limited edition. There was only one left in the country.
0:16:16 > 0:16:19My car guy told me Jay really wanted it but I took it anyway.
0:16:19 > 0:16:21This is him getting back at me.
0:16:21 > 0:16:24- Would he really do that? - Over a car? Uh, yeah.
0:16:24 > 0:16:25Fucking Leno can be a total...
0:16:25 > 0:16:27Total what?
0:16:27 > 0:16:29Uh, mensch. A total mensch.
0:16:29 > 0:16:32Mensch? So "mensch" means "prick" now? I never knew that.
0:16:34 > 0:16:37Hey, uh, this is Sean and Beverly Lincoln. They created my show.
0:16:37 > 0:16:38- Hello.- Nice to meet you.
0:16:38 > 0:16:40British or just really pretentious?
0:16:40 > 0:16:41British.
0:16:41 > 0:16:43And a little pretentious.
0:16:43 > 0:16:46I don't know why I said that.
0:16:46 > 0:16:49- And you know Jamie Lapidus. - Do I know Jamie Lapidus?
0:16:49 > 0:16:51- Hello, beautiful.- Hi, Jay.
0:16:51 > 0:16:53I am so sorry to hear about you and Merc.
0:16:53 > 0:16:55Oh, don't be. I'm not.
0:16:55 > 0:16:57- And now you're with this guy, huh? - Yeah.
0:16:57 > 0:17:00It's a good thing you can't see, cos he got really old.
0:17:00 > 0:17:02- Hey, Jay, um, here's the thing. - Yeah.
0:17:02 > 0:17:05I just found out I'm on second?
0:17:05 > 0:17:06- Really?- Really.
0:17:06 > 0:17:10- Yeah. Look, I'm not in charge of that. I don't know how that...- Bullshit.
0:17:10 > 0:17:12It's cos I took that fucking Lamborghini.
0:17:12 > 0:17:14That was you? You fucking jizz bag.
0:17:14 > 0:17:17- What, like you didn't know?- Hey, if I knew, you wouldn't be on at all.
0:17:17 > 0:17:18So why am I on second?
0:17:20 > 0:17:22Look, it's not Friends anymore.
0:17:22 > 0:17:24It's Pucks.
0:17:24 > 0:17:26- Still.- "Still".
0:17:26 > 0:17:28There's no "still."
0:17:28 > 0:17:30Shit...changes.
0:17:32 > 0:17:33Believe me.
0:17:35 > 0:17:37Enjoy the show, folks.
0:17:44 > 0:17:46So, how do you know Jay?
0:17:46 > 0:17:49Every year he hosts my Easter egg hunt for children's cancer.
0:17:49 > 0:17:50Asshole.
0:17:52 > 0:17:55Wow. I'm batting 0 for 5 here.
0:17:55 > 0:17:57But that's cool. I got another one.
0:17:57 > 0:18:01OK. Now, I haven't given this one as much thought.
0:18:01 > 0:18:03Is that scientifically possible?
0:18:03 > 0:18:07It's about this guy who loses his job and has to move home with his parents.
0:18:07 > 0:18:10Um, can I stop you right there?
0:18:10 > 0:18:13Again, it's an area we explored when you were here.
0:18:14 > 0:18:15Uh, did we like it?
0:18:15 > 0:18:17No.
0:18:18 > 0:18:23- Ah.- In fact, you were the one who said, "it's been done to death."
0:18:23 > 0:18:26Well, you know me. I never remember what I say.
0:18:26 > 0:18:28We do.
0:18:32 > 0:18:33All righty.
0:18:33 > 0:18:37This was so great. You've given us a lot to think about.
0:18:37 > 0:18:38Let us talk.
0:18:38 > 0:18:41Uh-oh! I know what that means.
0:18:41 > 0:18:42Okey-dokey.
0:18:44 > 0:18:47Hey, kids, could I have a moment with Mom here?
0:18:50 > 0:18:51Mm.
0:18:51 > 0:18:53Bye-bye.
0:18:54 > 0:18:58Hate him. Hate him like Hitler.
0:19:01 > 0:19:03- So, this was different.- I'll bet.
0:19:03 > 0:19:05Myra's still a hoot, I'll tell you.
0:19:05 > 0:19:08It's no picnic being on the other end of that squirrel face.
0:19:10 > 0:19:12I'm sure none of this is easy.
0:19:12 > 0:19:14What, are you... Are you kidding me?
0:19:14 > 0:19:16This is the part I love. The pitching and the schmoozing.
0:19:16 > 0:19:19I tell you, this is the best thing that could've happened to me.
0:19:19 > 0:19:23It's like a wake-up call. You know, just to recharge my batteries.
0:19:23 > 0:19:25Seriously, you've got to buy fucking SOMETHING!
0:19:25 > 0:19:28- I...- Now, come on. I need this!
0:19:28 > 0:19:32If I can't sell something here, no-one in this town is even going to talk to me.
0:19:32 > 0:19:36Look, there's nothing here I can even bring to Castor.
0:19:36 > 0:19:39Buy something? What am I buying?
0:19:39 > 0:19:42You're buying five years of us! Of love.
0:19:44 > 0:19:47OK. I-I can't do this. You've got to go.
0:19:47 > 0:19:49I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
0:19:49 > 0:19:52That was shitty. I'm sorry. Please. Please wait.
0:19:54 > 0:19:56I'm not...not in a very good place right now,
0:19:56 > 0:19:59I'm not...doing a very good job handling it.
0:20:03 > 0:20:06You know how hard it is to be 52 and...
0:20:06 > 0:20:10realise you fucked yourself out of everything you ever...ever wanted?
0:20:10 > 0:20:13I'll bet it's even harder at 58.
0:20:23 > 0:20:24How are you?
0:20:25 > 0:20:27Are you OK?
0:20:27 > 0:20:28I'm OK.
0:20:28 > 0:20:31How is it, uh, here with the new guy?
0:20:31 > 0:20:35W...we're still feeling our way, but...
0:20:35 > 0:20:37I think it's going to work out.
0:20:37 > 0:20:39I'm glad.
0:20:40 > 0:20:42You deserve good things.
0:20:42 > 0:20:43Well...
0:20:45 > 0:20:46How's the divorce going?
0:20:46 > 0:20:48Oh, great.
0:20:48 > 0:20:51By the time her lawyer's done with me, I might not even have the one ball left.
0:20:51 > 0:20:54Ooh! That's not what you want.
0:20:54 > 0:20:55SHE LAUGHS
0:20:57 > 0:21:00And she's still with that asshole LeBlanc.
0:21:00 > 0:21:03He's probably hanging in there just to piss me off.
0:21:03 > 0:21:06Or it's not about you.
0:21:06 > 0:21:07Euh.
0:21:07 > 0:21:10Hey, I started taking pilates.
0:21:10 > 0:21:13- No!- Yeah, yeah. I fucking hate it.
0:21:13 > 0:21:14Don't fold me!
0:21:19 > 0:21:22We should get a drink sometime. Dinner... Something.
0:21:24 > 0:21:25No.
0:21:25 > 0:21:27I'm just talking dinner.
0:21:27 > 0:21:29And I'm just saying no.
0:21:32 > 0:21:33OK. That's fair.
0:21:34 > 0:21:36I get it.
0:21:36 > 0:21:39All right. So, this was...great.
0:21:39 > 0:21:41Thanks again for coming in.
0:21:41 > 0:21:43My pleasure.
0:21:43 > 0:21:46Maybe next time, the big kahuna will grace me with his presence.
0:21:46 > 0:21:50I know he wanted to be here. I'm sorry he got called away.
0:21:51 > 0:21:53- Next time. - We don't need to do the goodbye hug.
0:21:56 > 0:21:58Whatever you want.
0:22:08 > 0:22:10- It's going to be OK. - How is it going to be OK?
0:22:10 > 0:22:12I-I can't even back out now.
0:22:12 > 0:22:16I'm sorry, but so you're on second. I don't get what the big deal is.
0:22:16 > 0:22:19I don't know how it works on the little island where you come from,
0:22:19 > 0:22:21but here it sends a message!
0:22:21 > 0:22:24Something as stupid as coming out second says everything.
0:22:24 > 0:22:26You're over. You're on your way out.
0:22:26 > 0:22:28- Viewers aren't stupid. - Some of them are stupid.
0:22:28 > 0:22:30Some of them are stupid but most of them get it.
0:22:30 > 0:22:33I didn't even want to do this fucking thing in the first place.
0:22:33 > 0:22:35Thanks(!)
0:22:48 > 0:22:50What the...
0:22:51 > 0:22:53Motherfucker!
0:23:00 > 0:23:02- He's here!- What?
0:23:02 > 0:23:04- That bastard's here, isn't he? - Who? Oh, no...
0:23:04 > 0:23:08Now, don't bullshit me! Meeting out of the office?! I saw his goddamn car!
0:23:08 > 0:23:10- Hang on. You don't want to...- Is he in there?- I'm sorry, who are you?
0:23:10 > 0:23:12Hey! Asshole!
0:23:12 > 0:23:15If you're going to piss on me, at least do it to my face!
0:23:15 > 0:23:17- Please don't do this. - Yeah, I need security.
0:23:17 > 0:23:20You don't even have the common courtesy to open a door?!
0:23:23 > 0:23:25You listen. You listen to me, you prick!
0:23:25 > 0:23:28Someday you're going to be the one standing out here,
0:23:28 > 0:23:33and I hope whoever is in there treats you with a little more respect than you are treating me!
0:23:33 > 0:23:35- You hear me?! - HE BANGS ON THE DOOR
0:23:35 > 0:23:37You little shit!
0:23:37 > 0:23:39You little shit!
0:23:39 > 0:23:42You goddamn weasel hiding in your little hole!
0:23:42 > 0:23:46I made this network number one for four years!
0:23:46 > 0:23:48Four years!
0:23:48 > 0:23:51Let's see how long you last! You'll be gone before the coffee gets cold!
0:23:51 > 0:23:54Y-y-you're a blink. You're a footnote!
0:23:54 > 0:23:58And you, what have you done? You came out in digital, for God's sake! Digital!
0:23:58 > 0:24:00What the fuck is that?! You're nothing!
0:24:00 > 0:24:01You're nobody!
0:24:01 > 0:24:03Fuck you!
0:24:03 > 0:24:05Fuck you, you cocksucker!
0:24:06 > 0:24:08Fuck you!
0:24:29 > 0:24:31Just saw Zac Efron.
0:24:31 > 0:24:32He's losing his looks.
0:24:32 > 0:24:34How fast?
0:24:39 > 0:24:41Sorry about tonight.
0:24:41 > 0:24:43It is what it is.
0:24:43 > 0:24:44It is what it is.
0:24:47 > 0:24:49- You're wrong about one thing.- Yeah?
0:24:49 > 0:24:51You are far from over.
0:24:51 > 0:24:53Mm.
0:24:54 > 0:24:57I think I've been over for a while and no-one bothered to tell me.
0:24:57 > 0:25:01It's not like they send you a thing in the mail.
0:25:02 > 0:25:05You don't know. Pucks could catch on.
0:25:05 > 0:25:06New night.
0:25:06 > 0:25:07No?
0:25:07 > 0:25:09Nah.
0:25:10 > 0:25:13What kills me is I knew when to quit.
0:25:13 > 0:25:15I could've gone out on top.
0:25:16 > 0:25:19It's like Vegas. When you hit it big, walk away.
0:25:19 > 0:25:23Don't...stay at the fucking table till it's all gone.
0:25:23 > 0:25:26The good news is you don't actually have a gambling problem.
0:25:26 > 0:25:28- No, I do.- Really?- Kind of.- Oh.
0:25:30 > 0:25:33There you are. We've been looking for you.
0:25:33 > 0:25:35What's that?
0:25:35 > 0:25:36It was for Zac Efron.
0:25:37 > 0:25:40What? Like he needs more fruit.
0:25:41 > 0:25:43He's out here.
0:25:43 > 0:25:44Hey...
0:25:46 > 0:25:49- What's up? - Bad news. No show tonight.
0:25:49 > 0:25:52- What?- Sorry. They're pre-empting us. We just heard.
0:25:52 > 0:25:55They're doing a special on the devastation in Peru.
0:25:55 > 0:25:58Yes! Thank you, Peru.
0:26:00 > 0:26:03I have Carol here to see you.
0:26:03 > 0:26:04'OK.'
0:26:09 > 0:26:13Oh! Uh, I didn't realise you were... I can come back.
0:26:13 > 0:26:16Stay. I'll be done in 22 seconds.
0:26:16 > 0:26:18All right.
0:26:19 > 0:26:21Hand me a towel.
0:26:23 > 0:26:24No! Not that one!
0:26:24 > 0:26:25In the bathroom.
0:26:28 > 0:26:29This one better?
0:26:34 > 0:26:35I, uh...
0:26:36 > 0:26:39I just wanted to apologise for Merc.
0:26:39 > 0:26:42- Yeah, what the hell was that about? - I know.
0:26:42 > 0:26:47I've never seen him like that. Well, not quite like that.
0:26:47 > 0:26:49- He's got issues.- You think(?)
0:26:49 > 0:26:52I know he seemed like a lunatic today, but...
0:26:53 > 0:26:55..he's not a bad guy.
0:26:56 > 0:27:02He's just going through a...really hard time and...
0:27:02 > 0:27:03And what?
0:27:03 > 0:27:05He makes me sad.
0:27:07 > 0:27:08Oh, Jesus.
0:27:08 > 0:27:10Sorry.
0:27:10 > 0:27:12You OK?
0:27:13 > 0:27:15I'm fine, really.
0:27:20 > 0:27:22Thank you.
0:27:22 > 0:27:24So embarrassing.
0:27:24 > 0:27:28I-I never cry at work.
0:27:29 > 0:27:34Well, I'd hug you, but, uh, obviously, I'm all sweaty and...
0:27:36 > 0:27:37That's OK.
0:27:37 > 0:27:39I don't mind.
0:27:40 > 0:27:42Yeah, OK.