Episode 8

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0:00:02 > 0:00:06This programme contains strong language and adult humour

0:00:06 > 0:00:09- It's a "no" on lunch. Bev isn't up for it.- Unless you want to do it without her.

0:00:09 > 0:00:11It feels a little weird.

0:00:11 > 0:00:14Sweetie, it's a sandwich, not a blow job.

0:00:14 > 0:00:18Kim Sally, as promised, this is Sean Lincoln.

0:00:21 > 0:00:24- This is awesome! - Good news?

0:00:24 > 0:00:27You know that guy who got my part in the NBC pilot?

0:00:27 > 0:00:29Paralysed!

0:00:29 > 0:00:31Oh, my God.

0:00:31 > 0:00:35The man is paralysed.

0:00:35 > 0:00:37Jesus!

0:00:37 > 0:00:40Be happy for me for once!

0:01:34 > 0:01:37- There he is!- Hey.

0:01:41 > 0:01:43So, what's up?

0:01:43 > 0:01:45Should I be worried?

0:01:45 > 0:01:47What? I can't take my favourite client to lunch?

0:01:47 > 0:01:50We got a lot to celebrate. Last week of Pucks.

0:01:50 > 0:01:52It's worth a steak salad.

0:01:52 > 0:01:54OK. Good. I got nervous.

0:01:54 > 0:01:55Thought you were going to tell me,

0:01:55 > 0:01:57like, that guy's not paralysed any more.

0:01:57 > 0:02:00Relax. It's apparently a lot worse than they thought.

0:02:00 > 0:02:03OK. Phew!

0:02:03 > 0:02:05So, where are we with the NBC thing?

0:02:05 > 0:02:06- Do we have a deal?- Eh...

0:02:06 > 0:02:08So I SHOULD be worried.

0:02:08 > 0:02:10No, not "worried" worried.

0:02:10 > 0:02:12Now, look... the writer, the British guy,

0:02:12 > 0:02:14totally wants you.

0:02:14 > 0:02:17You're his first choice, only one on his list.

0:02:17 > 0:02:18- Blah, blah, blah.- So?

0:02:18 > 0:02:23So the network is saying that they need to hear you read.

0:02:23 > 0:02:25- Get the fuck out. - What can I tell you?

0:02:25 > 0:02:27You've never done drama.

0:02:27 > 0:02:28- Have they seen Pucks?- Yeah.

0:02:28 > 0:02:31That's probably another reason they want you to read.

0:02:31 > 0:02:32Well, screw them.

0:02:32 > 0:02:35I'm not reading for NBC. I worked there for 12 years.

0:02:35 > 0:02:37That was a lifetime ago.

0:02:37 > 0:02:39Everyone who was there when you were there,

0:02:39 > 0:02:41they're that pile of bones in the corner.

0:02:41 > 0:02:42Jesus.

0:02:42 > 0:02:44Audition?

0:02:44 > 0:02:46I know, but that's the world we live in.

0:02:46 > 0:02:48If Lucille Ball came back from the dead,

0:02:48 > 0:02:51they'd make her read to see if she's still funny.

0:02:51 > 0:02:54Although I got to say, she wasn't... that funny at the end.

0:02:54 > 0:02:57Nobody's funny at the end.

0:02:57 > 0:02:58- Mm.- What if we say no?

0:02:58 > 0:03:00- Well, then they say no.- Ugh.

0:03:00 > 0:03:03Listen, I've been around and around with these idiots on this.

0:03:03 > 0:03:04It's a nonstarter.

0:03:05 > 0:03:08- If you really want it... - You know I want it.

0:03:10 > 0:03:12But I'm not reading.

0:03:12 > 0:03:13You sure?

0:03:13 > 0:03:14Yeah.

0:03:14 > 0:03:17It's insulting. They know what I can do.

0:03:17 > 0:03:19I'm not going to jump through their hoops.

0:03:19 > 0:03:21- OK. That's what I'll tell them. - Christ!

0:03:21 > 0:03:22I know! What can I say?

0:03:22 > 0:03:24It's a giant hairy ass fuck.

0:03:24 > 0:03:25We're ready to order.

0:03:29 > 0:03:32I'm thinking it's time to stop taking the meds.

0:03:32 > 0:03:34I firmly disagree.

0:03:34 > 0:03:38I'm telling you, I really feel OK.

0:03:38 > 0:03:41I'm calm. I'm centred.

0:03:41 > 0:03:44Nothing's talking that shouldn't be talking.

0:03:44 > 0:03:46I'm really good.

0:03:46 > 0:03:49The reason you're good is because of the meds.

0:03:49 > 0:03:53It would be a huge mistake to stop now.

0:03:53 > 0:03:54I cannot stress this enough.

0:03:54 > 0:03:56OK. OK.

0:03:56 > 0:03:57I hear you.

0:03:57 > 0:03:58That's fine.

0:04:16 > 0:04:17Aah!

0:04:40 > 0:04:43- You're awfully quiet.- Am I?

0:04:44 > 0:04:46Well, considering, "Am I?"

0:04:46 > 0:04:49is the first thing you've said since we started, yes.

0:04:53 > 0:04:56So, is, "Am I?" also the last thing you're going to say?

0:04:56 > 0:04:57Maybe.

0:04:57 > 0:04:59- What's going on?- Nothing.

0:05:01 > 0:05:03- What?- "What?"

0:05:04 > 0:05:07- You are acting very weird. - Am I?- Aren't you?

0:05:07 > 0:05:09I'll just say this...

0:05:09 > 0:05:11there are no secrets in this town.

0:05:11 > 0:05:13And yet you seem to have one.

0:05:15 > 0:05:17Isn't it funny?

0:05:17 > 0:05:20With all your judgments and your moral high ground...

0:05:20 > 0:05:21There you go. Let it out.

0:05:21 > 0:05:23"Everyone's so phony here.

0:05:23 > 0:05:26"You can't trust anyone. They'll lie to your face."

0:05:26 > 0:05:29Well, guess what. You're no better than we are!

0:05:29 > 0:05:35In fact, I would never do to you what you did to me!

0:05:36 > 0:05:37I have to say

0:05:37 > 0:05:41I am now simultaneously troubled and excited

0:05:41 > 0:05:42to find out what I did.

0:05:42 > 0:05:45And thank you for the uncanny impression, by the way.

0:05:45 > 0:05:48Did you actually think that I wouldn't find out?

0:05:48 > 0:05:49This is torture.

0:05:49 > 0:05:53I know you're shopping a script to Kim Sally at FOX.

0:05:53 > 0:05:55What?! Who's... Kim Sally?

0:05:55 > 0:05:57- "Who's Kim Sally?"- Oh!

0:05:57 > 0:05:59How would you feel if you found out...

0:06:01 > 0:06:03If you found out that the person

0:06:03 > 0:06:07you thought was your best friend... Ha ha!

0:06:07 > 0:06:12..was secretly shopping a script to another network?

0:06:14 > 0:06:17I don't know what the hell you're talking about.

0:06:17 > 0:06:19Oh, really?! Really?!

0:06:19 > 0:06:24Then why was Sean having lunch with Kim Sally and Eileen Jaffee?

0:06:24 > 0:06:26And don't tell me they weren't,

0:06:26 > 0:06:29cos I was there, and I saw them.

0:06:29 > 0:06:32Hmm?

0:06:32 > 0:06:35Hmm?! Hmm?! Hmm?!

0:06:35 > 0:06:36Hmm?!

0:06:40 > 0:06:43OK, fine. Yeah, fine. I had a bite of lunch with them,

0:06:43 > 0:06:44but it was nothing.

0:06:44 > 0:06:46A club sandwich.

0:06:46 > 0:06:47There were also appetizers,

0:06:47 > 0:06:50and I'm pretty sure they split a sundae.

0:06:50 > 0:06:53Since when do we take meetings without each other?

0:06:53 > 0:06:55Not a meeting. A sandwich.

0:06:55 > 0:06:56Bullshit!

0:06:56 > 0:06:59Nobody takes a sandwich in this town.

0:06:59 > 0:07:01Look, you said you didn't want to go.

0:07:01 > 0:07:03You didn't say I couldn't go.

0:07:03 > 0:07:04Really?

0:07:04 > 0:07:05That's your loophole?

0:07:05 > 0:07:07A loophole's a loophole. It counts.

0:07:07 > 0:07:09- BOTH:- Don't.

0:07:09 > 0:07:11And what was your plan, exactly?

0:07:11 > 0:07:13Were you going to do the whole show behind my back?

0:07:13 > 0:07:15"Darling, you know that script from the drawer?

0:07:15 > 0:07:18"Congratulations! It's in its ninth year."

0:07:18 > 0:07:19No. No.

0:07:19 > 0:07:21I was very clear.

0:07:21 > 0:07:22She knows she can't have it.

0:07:22 > 0:07:24Damn straight she can't have it.

0:07:24 > 0:07:26If anyone's getting it, I'm getting it.

0:07:26 > 0:07:27You're not getting it.

0:07:27 > 0:07:29- I want it. - Why? You haven't even read it.

0:07:29 > 0:07:31- I read it!- You read it?

0:07:31 > 0:07:32Eileen gave it to me.

0:07:32 > 0:07:34Really? What'd you think?

0:07:34 > 0:07:35Oh, my God!

0:07:35 > 0:07:38If Pucks was half this good, you'd still be on the air.

0:07:38 > 0:07:40Flattered and hurt.

0:07:40 > 0:07:42You guys, it's so good!

0:07:42 > 0:07:46I swear, if you let us do it, we won't change a word.

0:07:46 > 0:07:48Really? Could you put that in writing?

0:07:48 > 0:07:50What are you doing? No, no, no.

0:07:50 > 0:07:52Let me be absolutely clear with you,

0:07:52 > 0:07:54and you, Mr Club Sandwich...

0:07:54 > 0:07:56This script isn't going to you.

0:07:56 > 0:07:58It isn't going to FOX.

0:07:58 > 0:08:01The only place it's going is in our suitcase home.

0:08:01 > 0:08:03OK.

0:08:03 > 0:08:05I totally hear you.

0:08:05 > 0:08:07But...

0:08:07 > 0:08:09- Obviously, you don't hear me.- I do!

0:08:09 > 0:08:12- But...- No. No more buts.

0:08:12 > 0:08:14Fine!

0:08:14 > 0:08:17- I just...- No buts and no justs.

0:08:17 > 0:08:21Either you let go of this, or you and I are done.

0:08:21 > 0:08:23This is your moment of truth.

0:08:23 > 0:08:25Are you my friend,

0:08:25 > 0:08:29or are you some bloodsucking network vampire?

0:08:30 > 0:08:33Why do I have to pick one or the other?

0:08:33 > 0:08:34Sorry.

0:08:34 > 0:08:35It's time to choose.

0:08:37 > 0:08:38Now.

0:08:38 > 0:08:39Fine!

0:08:39 > 0:08:41I'm your friend.

0:08:41 > 0:08:43But I'm not happy about it!

0:08:43 > 0:08:44Thank you.

0:08:44 > 0:08:48Then you don't mention this again.

0:08:48 > 0:08:50You don't pursue it behind our backs.

0:08:50 > 0:08:52It's over.

0:08:56 > 0:08:58Can I just ask one question?

0:08:58 > 0:09:00And don't get mad.

0:09:00 > 0:09:03What if I'd picked the other one?

0:09:03 > 0:09:05Any way you would have given it to me?

0:09:06 > 0:09:08Fine!

0:09:08 > 0:09:10Friend. Friend.

0:09:10 > 0:09:12Friend.

0:09:23 > 0:09:25Oh. I'm telling you, you guys can't go back to London

0:09:25 > 0:09:27until you've tried one of these.

0:09:27 > 0:09:29See? And I thought we could.

0:09:29 > 0:09:31You'll see. You're going to thank me.

0:09:31 > 0:09:34- We're not really hot-dog people. - How can you not be hot-dog people?

0:09:34 > 0:09:37It's just all the sodium and nitrates.

0:09:37 > 0:09:40Plus, God only knows what else is ground up in them.

0:09:40 > 0:09:43Frankly, I'm more concerned about the casings.

0:09:43 > 0:09:45I assume they still use pig intestines.

0:09:45 > 0:09:47PHONE RINGS

0:09:47 > 0:09:49I forgot how fun it is to share shit with you.

0:09:49 > 0:09:50Publicist.

0:09:50 > 0:09:52Hey, Beth.

0:09:52 > 0:09:55Hi, honey. I'm going to conference Jason in.

0:09:55 > 0:09:58- You're on with Jason. - Hey, bud.

0:09:58 > 0:10:00- Hey, man. What's up?- OK.

0:10:00 > 0:10:02I just got off with TMZ.

0:10:02 > 0:10:04They're about to run a story.

0:10:04 > 0:10:06They've got it on good authority you're going into rehab

0:10:06 > 0:10:08for cocaine and diet pills.

0:10:08 > 0:10:10- Are you shitting me?- So you're not?

0:10:10 > 0:10:14- No.- Honest? - How can you even ask me that?

0:10:14 > 0:10:16Uh, you were a little sniffy at lunch,

0:10:16 > 0:10:18and you didn't touch the bread.

0:10:18 > 0:10:19Jesus!

0:10:19 > 0:10:22Oh, good, good. OK. I just had to make sure.

0:10:22 > 0:10:24So, are you sure now?

0:10:24 > 0:10:26Yeah, yeah. But you talk about bad timing.

0:10:26 > 0:10:28I just told NBC you won't read.

0:10:28 > 0:10:31- And?- Well, they're supposed to get back to me,

0:10:31 > 0:10:33but they're already nervous about working with you.

0:10:33 > 0:10:36When they hear about this, on top of your DUI?

0:10:36 > 0:10:37Oy.

0:10:37 > 0:10:40Well, why can't we just tell TMZ it's bullshit?

0:10:40 > 0:10:42Oh. They'll never buy that.

0:10:42 > 0:10:44You're better off just admitting it and moving on.

0:10:44 > 0:10:45But it's not true.

0:10:45 > 0:10:48You asked. I'm telling you. What do you want from me?

0:10:48 > 0:10:50Well, then how do we make it go away?

0:10:50 > 0:10:52Any idea where it could have come from?

0:10:52 > 0:10:53No. I...

0:10:55 > 0:10:58Oh, fuck. Forgot to send my father his cheque.

0:11:02 > 0:11:04You really think your father planted that story?

0:11:04 > 0:11:08I know he did. Any time I forget to send his check,

0:11:08 > 0:11:10he calls the tabloids and makes up some bullshit...

0:11:10 > 0:11:13Hang on. Dad, pick up.

0:11:13 > 0:11:15Pick up.

0:11:15 > 0:11:19Pick up the fucking phone, you lying sack of shit!

0:11:19 > 0:11:21I'm on my cell. Call me.

0:11:21 > 0:11:24He's not going to call. I got to go over there.

0:11:24 > 0:11:27You mind if we swing by? It's right on the way.

0:11:27 > 0:11:30Uh, this is really a family thing. You don't want us there for that.

0:11:30 > 0:11:31Yeah, I do.

0:11:31 > 0:11:34Because if it's just me and him, I'm going to fucking kill him.

0:11:36 > 0:11:41When will we learn? Always... always... take two cars?

0:11:45 > 0:11:47Hey. Is he in?

0:11:47 > 0:11:50We're supposed to do the prep for our Elliot salad lunch.

0:11:50 > 0:11:53He's in, but...

0:11:53 > 0:11:55But?

0:11:55 > 0:12:00He's kind of not having the best day.

0:12:00 > 0:12:01Oh.

0:12:03 > 0:12:06Cos we really should do this before tomorrow.

0:12:07 > 0:12:08Uh...

0:12:10 > 0:12:11I don't know what to tell you.

0:12:13 > 0:12:14KNOCK AT DOOR

0:12:21 > 0:12:22Hi.

0:12:31 > 0:12:33Sorry to bother you.

0:12:33 > 0:12:37But we said we were going to prep for the Elliot lunch?

0:12:41 > 0:12:43It's very dark.

0:12:45 > 0:12:47Want me to turn on a light?

0:12:50 > 0:12:52Or I can leave it off.

0:12:52 > 0:12:54Should I leave it off?

0:12:57 > 0:12:58I'll leave it off.

0:12:58 > 0:12:59Yeah.

0:12:59 > 0:13:02So, uh...

0:13:02 > 0:13:06I just think we should have some idea

0:13:06 > 0:13:08of what we're going to say...

0:13:09 > 0:13:12..like which projects we're excited about.

0:13:12 > 0:13:14- None.- None. OK.

0:13:14 > 0:13:16Good.

0:13:16 > 0:13:19See, I didn't know you felt that way.

0:13:19 > 0:13:21We're fucked.

0:13:21 > 0:13:23OK.

0:13:23 > 0:13:25Everything we have is shit.

0:13:27 > 0:13:28Everything?

0:13:28 > 0:13:30Really?

0:13:30 > 0:13:33That seems a little bleak.

0:13:35 > 0:13:37I-I think we have a couple of strong...

0:13:37 > 0:13:38- We don't.- No?

0:13:38 > 0:13:40No.

0:13:40 > 0:13:41Nothing's fresh.

0:13:41 > 0:13:43Nothing's bold.

0:13:43 > 0:13:50It's all the same rehashed, pre-digested garbage.

0:13:51 > 0:13:54It's like everything you gave me arrived pre-cancelled!

0:13:54 > 0:13:57Oh!

0:13:59 > 0:14:01I'm so disappointed in you.

0:14:03 > 0:14:05I thought you were going to thrill me.

0:14:06 > 0:14:08Do I look thrilled?

0:14:08 > 0:14:10Well...

0:14:10 > 0:14:12It's kind of hard to see you.

0:14:12 > 0:14:13- Do I?!- No.

0:14:13 > 0:14:16- What?!- No. You don't look thrilled.

0:14:16 > 0:14:19I'm just a little confused.

0:14:19 > 0:14:23Last week, it seemed like you thought some of it wasn't shit.

0:14:23 > 0:14:27I was being polite. I don't like to hurt people's feelings.

0:14:28 > 0:14:29- What did you say?!- What? Nothing!

0:14:29 > 0:14:31Nothing.

0:14:33 > 0:14:35And that's all you give me...

0:14:35 > 0:14:36Nothing!

0:14:38 > 0:14:39Get out!

0:14:42 > 0:14:44Wait, wait, wait.

0:14:44 > 0:14:47I may have one more script for you to read.

0:14:47 > 0:14:48"May"?

0:14:48 > 0:14:51What the fuck does "may" mean?! Don't give me "may"!

0:14:51 > 0:14:53OK. I do! I have one more script!

0:14:53 > 0:14:55- Comedy or drama?!- Comedy!

0:14:55 > 0:14:57Oh, good. I could use a laugh.

0:15:02 > 0:15:04KNOCK AT DOOR

0:15:05 > 0:15:08Hey. Look who's here.

0:15:08 > 0:15:11- Hi, Linda. Ah.- Mm.

0:15:11 > 0:15:13Ooh. So skinny.

0:15:13 > 0:15:15- You lost weight.- Yeah. I wish.

0:15:15 > 0:15:17Well, you look it. Come on in.

0:15:17 > 0:15:18I'm making fruit salad.

0:15:18 > 0:15:20Your friends want fruit?

0:15:20 > 0:15:22- No. That's very kind. - Thank you, no.

0:15:22 > 0:15:23Suit yourself.

0:15:23 > 0:15:25- Where is he?- Ah. He's out.

0:15:25 > 0:15:27You just missed him.

0:15:27 > 0:15:30Well, when he gets back, tell him I'm going to punch his face in.

0:15:30 > 0:15:32You want to punch my face?

0:15:33 > 0:15:35Look what's here.

0:15:35 > 0:15:37I just said you were out.

0:15:37 > 0:15:40Next time, say it louder. What am I... a mind-reader?

0:15:40 > 0:15:42So, what'd I do this time?

0:15:42 > 0:15:43You know what you did.

0:15:43 > 0:15:46Bullshit. If I knew what I did, I wouldn't say, "What did I do?"

0:15:46 > 0:15:48Don't ask me to say stuff if you're not going to back me up.

0:15:48 > 0:15:49I look like a liar.

0:15:49 > 0:15:52- We are Sean and Beverly, by the way.- Hello.

0:15:52 > 0:15:54You saying you didn't tell TMZ I'm going into rehab?

0:15:54 > 0:15:57- Oh, you're finally going into rehab? - No, I'm not going into rehab.

0:15:57 > 0:15:58Is that why I didn't get my cheque?

0:15:58 > 0:16:00You didn't get your check because I fucking forgot.

0:16:00 > 0:16:03Do they know to keep sending them while you're away?

0:16:03 > 0:16:06- I'm not going into rehab!- TMZ's usually right about this stuff.

0:16:06 > 0:16:09The only reason they're saying it is cos you fucking told them.

0:16:09 > 0:16:12I didn't tell them. I didn't even know you were going.

0:16:12 > 0:16:15Listen to me, you lunatic. You're going to call them and say you were wrong.

0:16:15 > 0:16:17What is the big deal? Everybody's in rehab.

0:16:17 > 0:16:19I-I can't say it again.

0:16:19 > 0:16:21He's not going into rehab.

0:16:21 > 0:16:24And if people think he is, it could seriously damage his career.

0:16:24 > 0:16:26Where are you from?

0:16:26 > 0:16:30What career? He hasn't been on TV in 10 years.

0:16:30 > 0:16:31I'm on TV now!

0:16:31 > 0:16:34Oh, that thing with the hockey.

0:16:34 > 0:16:36We watched it once. Nah.

0:16:36 > 0:16:38- I'm so glad we came.- Mm.

0:16:38 > 0:16:41Yeah, well, that non-career of mine sure pays for a lot.

0:16:41 > 0:16:43He's always got to rub our noses in it.

0:16:43 > 0:16:46You're sure? No fruit?

0:16:46 > 0:16:47You couldn't afford it.

0:16:47 > 0:16:49You don't think we know what you're worth?

0:16:49 > 0:16:50We Googled you.

0:16:50 > 0:16:52You can Google what I'm worth?

0:16:52 > 0:16:54- You can Google anything. - How much did it say?

0:16:54 > 0:16:56Really? In front of strangers?

0:16:56 > 0:16:57How much?

0:16:57 > 0:17:00- 60.- 60?

0:17:00 > 0:17:01Too high or too low?

0:17:01 > 0:17:03I'm not fucking telling you.

0:17:03 > 0:17:05So, what? So you know how much to gouge me?

0:17:05 > 0:17:07You hear that? Gouge him.

0:17:07 > 0:17:11He is your father. You show him some respect.

0:17:11 > 0:17:13Use a spoon! What are you... an animal?

0:17:13 > 0:17:15Relax. It's fruit.

0:17:15 > 0:17:19You know, you just waltz in here with your 60 million.

0:17:19 > 0:17:23- It's not 60.- You think I like taking money from you?

0:17:23 > 0:17:25You don't think it's embarrassing for me?

0:17:25 > 0:17:27Well, not too embarrassing to take it.

0:17:27 > 0:17:29Why? Y-you'd rather we starve to death?

0:17:29 > 0:17:32We're not exactly rolling in it here.

0:17:32 > 0:17:34You know, I haven't had a vacation in four years.

0:17:34 > 0:17:36From what?!

0:17:36 > 0:17:38- Oh, fuck you!- Fuck you!

0:17:38 > 0:17:40- Is that papaya?- I hope not.

0:17:40 > 0:17:42OK. Last chance. You going to call TMZ or not?

0:17:42 > 0:17:45And tell them what? I can't undo something I didn't do.

0:17:45 > 0:17:46That's it. I'm cutting you off.

0:17:46 > 0:17:49Listen, you fat fuck... if the man says he didn't do it...

0:17:49 > 0:17:52You want to cut me off, cut me.

0:17:52 > 0:17:54- Consider yourself cut.- Fine.

0:17:54 > 0:17:57I don't need your goddamn money.

0:17:57 > 0:17:59No? How about all the shit you bought with it.

0:17:59 > 0:18:00Huh? You need this?

0:18:00 > 0:18:02Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. What are you doing?

0:18:02 > 0:18:05- Oh, he says he doesn't need it. - Eh, take it. I hate that lamp.

0:18:05 > 0:18:08It's like reading on the surface of the sun.

0:18:08 > 0:18:10Since when do you read?

0:18:10 > 0:18:11Oh, fuck you.

0:18:11 > 0:18:13- Here!- Oh!

0:18:13 > 0:18:15This makes me very uncomfortable.

0:18:15 > 0:18:17I'm guessing you don't need these pillows, either.

0:18:17 > 0:18:19Take them. They only get in the way.

0:18:19 > 0:18:20- They add colour.- Here.

0:18:20 > 0:18:22I am so sorry.

0:18:22 > 0:18:26- I had no inkling when he brought us here.- Shut up!

0:18:26 > 0:18:28You need the microwave? I know I paid for this.

0:18:28 > 0:18:30It was a Christmas present. It shouldn't count.

0:18:30 > 0:18:33Who gives a shit?! Let him take it!

0:18:33 > 0:18:35What, you're going to wait for the water to boil?

0:18:35 > 0:18:37- Here.- No, give me that.

0:18:37 > 0:18:38- Give me that.- Don't let her take it.

0:18:38 > 0:18:40She's very strong.

0:18:40 > 0:18:41She's an 80-year-old woman!

0:18:41 > 0:18:43Fuck you, 80!

0:18:48 > 0:18:50- I'm calling the police!- Yeah?

0:18:50 > 0:18:52Better do it before I take back the phones.

0:18:52 > 0:18:54- Do something.- You do something.

0:18:54 > 0:18:57- Goddamn it! - I wish David Schwimmer was my son.

0:18:57 > 0:19:00- So do I!- Fuck you.

0:19:00 > 0:19:01Fuck you!

0:19:02 > 0:19:04This is nice. Is it new?

0:19:04 > 0:19:06None of your business.

0:19:06 > 0:19:08It's roomy. You can put a lot of crap in there.

0:19:08 > 0:19:09You want me to go up and get some more?

0:19:09 > 0:19:12- Fuck you. - Fuck you! Get in the car.

0:19:13 > 0:19:15Drop dead, you piece of shit!

0:19:15 > 0:19:17- So nice to meet you.- You too.

0:19:17 > 0:19:19Get in!

0:19:30 > 0:19:33I have to say, this feels like rather harsh justice.

0:19:33 > 0:19:34It's not.

0:19:34 > 0:19:37He's a lying scumbag, and he went too far this time.

0:19:38 > 0:19:40Still, shouldn't you at least give it to a charity

0:19:40 > 0:19:42- or the homeless?- Yeah.

0:19:42 > 0:19:44That's what the homeless need... throw pillows.

0:19:46 > 0:19:48PHONE RINGS

0:19:51 > 0:19:52Yo.

0:19:52 > 0:19:54Hi, honey. It's Beth.

0:19:54 > 0:19:56So, I just got off with TMZ.

0:19:56 > 0:20:00Do you know a woman named Dawn Randolph?

0:20:00 > 0:20:01No.

0:20:01 > 0:20:02Morning's daughter?

0:20:02 > 0:20:04- Oh. Yeah.- Understandable.

0:20:04 > 0:20:06You only fucked her once.

0:20:06 > 0:20:08What about her?

0:20:08 > 0:20:11Evidently, she's the one who gave TMZ the rehab story.

0:20:11 > 0:20:13Guess I should have called her back.

0:20:13 > 0:20:16Maybe.

0:20:16 > 0:20:18Can I tell them she's just an angry ex?

0:20:18 > 0:20:20Yeah, yeah. Sure. So, it definitely wasn't my father?

0:20:20 > 0:20:22Definitely. They know him over there.

0:20:22 > 0:20:24Wasn't him this time.

0:20:24 > 0:20:25Gotcha. Thanks.

0:20:30 > 0:20:31Ah, well.

0:20:33 > 0:20:35Shouldn't you give it all back?

0:20:35 > 0:20:36Nah.

0:20:36 > 0:20:38It'll keep him on his toes.

0:20:44 > 0:20:46Yeah. Counting equities, counting real estate,

0:20:46 > 0:20:48the office-building thing, all of it...

0:20:48 > 0:20:52just roughly a ballpark figure.

0:20:52 > 0:20:54Really? How the hell would Google know that?

0:20:56 > 0:20:59Hang on. I got another call. Let me call you back. OK.

0:21:00 > 0:21:04- Hello?- Just got off with NBC. Guess what.

0:21:04 > 0:21:06- They blinked.- Seriously?

0:21:06 > 0:21:07You don't have to audition.

0:21:07 > 0:21:09- No shit?- No shit.

0:21:09 > 0:21:11You just have to go in and meet.

0:21:11 > 0:21:13- Why? - Why? So they can save face.

0:21:13 > 0:21:15Look, you'll make nice. They'll make nice.

0:21:15 > 0:21:16You'll blow their skirts up.

0:21:16 > 0:21:19- I can do that. - I know you can.

0:21:19 > 0:21:20And I don't have to read?

0:21:20 > 0:21:21And you don't have to read.

0:21:21 > 0:21:23All right. Great.

0:21:23 > 0:21:25Don't say I never did anything for you.

0:21:25 > 0:21:27You're the one who told me you thought I should read.

0:21:27 > 0:21:29Hey, if I were right about everything,

0:21:29 > 0:21:31you'd still have a movie career.

0:21:36 > 0:21:38This is very unusual.

0:21:38 > 0:21:39He's never late.

0:21:39 > 0:21:42It's fine. Gives us a chance to catch up.

0:21:42 > 0:21:44Totally.

0:21:47 > 0:21:49So, what's new?

0:21:49 > 0:21:54Well, uh, my wife has Hodgkin's disease.

0:21:54 > 0:21:55And I bought a Tesla.

0:21:55 > 0:21:57- Oh, my God.- I know.

0:21:57 > 0:22:01It's so strange, knowing I'll never have to buy gas again.

0:22:01 > 0:22:03Sure.

0:22:03 > 0:22:04Feels good.

0:22:04 > 0:22:07So, talk to me... before he gets here.

0:22:07 > 0:22:09- How's he doing?- Castor?

0:22:09 > 0:22:11- Uh...- Oh, shit.

0:22:11 > 0:22:13No. No, no, no. All good.

0:22:13 > 0:22:15Are we in trouble here?

0:22:15 > 0:22:17I don't think so.

0:22:17 > 0:22:19Jesus, fuck!

0:22:19 > 0:22:20No, we're fine.

0:22:23 > 0:22:27It's just I should probably give you a little heads-up.

0:22:27 > 0:22:28What?

0:22:28 > 0:22:32Sometimes he can seem a bit...

0:22:32 > 0:22:34- Gay?- No.

0:22:34 > 0:22:35- Anti-Semitic?- No.

0:22:35 > 0:22:36- What, then?- Aha!

0:22:36 > 0:22:40Apologies, apologies! Oh!

0:22:40 > 0:22:42Sorry I'm late. No. Sit, sit, sit, sit.

0:22:42 > 0:22:45So sorry I'm late. I was actually here 20 minutes early,

0:22:45 > 0:22:47but I refuse to valet park.

0:22:47 > 0:22:49I know. Crazy!

0:22:49 > 0:22:51But they sit in your seat. They touch your wheel. Ugh!

0:22:51 > 0:22:54Anyway... I ended up parking halfway to Burbank, but I'm here now.

0:22:54 > 0:22:57Just give me a sec to look at the menu, see if there's anything

0:22:57 > 0:22:58I can eat. Then I'm all yours.

0:22:58 > 0:23:00What do you mean, anything you can eat?

0:23:00 > 0:23:03- I'm vegan.- That's a pain in the ass. My daughter's vegan.

0:23:03 > 0:23:05- It's supposed to be very healthy. - Tell that to her scale.

0:23:05 > 0:23:08She weighs 230 pounds, and she's 5'1".

0:23:08 > 0:23:10That's a lot of vegan.

0:23:14 > 0:23:17Place ain't going to smell the same without you.

0:23:17 > 0:23:19- Now get out of here, ladies. - Bye, coach.

0:23:35 > 0:23:36And... cut!

0:23:36 > 0:23:37BELL RINGS

0:23:37 > 0:23:39Check the gate.

0:23:39 > 0:23:42And that, my friends, is a final wrap on Pucks!

0:23:42 > 0:23:44CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:23:46 > 0:23:48- Oh, my God.- It's over.

0:23:48 > 0:23:51- It's actually over. - I know. Unbelievable.

0:23:52 > 0:23:54Should we say a little something?

0:23:54 > 0:23:57- We probably should. - Can I have your attention, please?

0:23:57 > 0:23:59Or Chris will.

0:23:59 > 0:24:01Before everyone scatters, there's something I really have to say,

0:24:01 > 0:24:03and I cannot stress it enough.

0:24:05 > 0:24:08You must be sure to see Amy and return your dressing-room keys.

0:24:08 > 0:24:10Otherwise, there will be a 50 key charge.

0:24:10 > 0:24:12Thank you.

0:24:14 > 0:24:17Not quite the speech I would have given.

0:24:17 > 0:24:18But it came from the heart.

0:24:39 > 0:24:42I've got to say, I'm a little sad.

0:24:42 > 0:24:43I know.

0:24:43 > 0:24:45Me too, which is surprising,

0:24:45 > 0:24:47considering I hated every single minute of it.

0:24:47 > 0:24:49Hm.

0:24:49 > 0:24:50Hello.

0:24:50 > 0:24:53Oh. Hey.

0:24:53 > 0:24:57- We were just saying this all feels very strange.- What?

0:24:59 > 0:25:01Oh. Yeah.

0:25:01 > 0:25:04Oh, I'm going to miss you guys!

0:25:04 > 0:25:07Well, uh... Maybe we should all go out for a drink or something.

0:25:07 > 0:25:11Absolutely. That sounds great, except I can't.

0:25:12 > 0:25:13Oh.

0:25:13 > 0:25:16I've got a wig fitting. My pilot starts tomorrow.

0:25:17 > 0:25:19She's stealing the wardrobe.

0:25:19 > 0:25:21Yes, she is.

0:25:21 > 0:25:24- Uh, I didn't know you had a pilot. - Mm-hmm.

0:25:24 > 0:25:25What's it about?

0:25:25 > 0:25:26Oh, it's this stupid Sci-Fi thing

0:25:26 > 0:25:30about eight people who, uh, survive a nuclear holocaust,

0:25:30 > 0:25:32and they want my hair short.

0:25:32 > 0:25:33Well, sure. Nuclear holocaust.

0:25:33 > 0:25:35Definitely calls for a pixie cut.

0:25:35 > 0:25:38Yeah. Well, this hair's not going anywhere for a pilot.

0:25:40 > 0:25:42All righty.

0:25:42 > 0:25:43I guess this is it.

0:25:43 > 0:25:45Sad face.

0:25:45 > 0:25:48Yes. Sad faces all around.

0:25:48 > 0:25:52- Take care, you guys. Bye-bye.- Bye-bye.- Bye.

0:26:02 > 0:26:04And then there were two.

0:26:04 > 0:26:07- Sad face?- I don't think so.

0:26:07 > 0:26:10- We're going home.- I'll believe it when we're eating nuts on the plane.

0:26:10 > 0:26:12We are going home.

0:26:12 > 0:26:14Oh, we are going home!

0:26:19 > 0:26:20Mmm!

0:26:21 > 0:26:23Mmm! You got to taste this carrot.

0:26:23 > 0:26:26I don't know why, but that's the best carrot I ever tasted.

0:26:26 > 0:26:28- It's cos you're hungry.- Mmm.

0:26:28 > 0:26:30So... talk to me.

0:26:30 > 0:26:32Where are we? Tell me something good.

0:26:32 > 0:26:35OK. Well, first of all, this one's a genius.

0:26:35 > 0:26:39What? Uh... Wow. Thank you.

0:26:39 > 0:26:41Yesterday I was kind of down.

0:26:41 > 0:26:44- I don't know if you could tell. - A little bit, yeah. A little.

0:26:44 > 0:26:46I was all, "Oh, we don't have anything.

0:26:46 > 0:26:47"What are we going to tell Elliot?!"

0:26:47 > 0:26:49Then this lady hands me a script.

0:26:49 > 0:26:51Just pulls it out of her ass.

0:26:51 > 0:26:53- Well...- I read it last night.

0:26:53 > 0:26:56Oh, my God. It's going to turn this network around.

0:26:56 > 0:26:58OK. This is what I want to hear.

0:26:58 > 0:27:01You're talking about The Opposite Of Us?

0:27:01 > 0:27:04Uh, yeah. It is so goddamn good!

0:27:04 > 0:27:05The writing, razor-sharp.

0:27:05 > 0:27:06The comedy...

0:27:06 > 0:27:09Fuck! I was laughing out loud.

0:27:09 > 0:27:11- I never laugh out loud. - He doesn't.

0:27:11 > 0:27:14It's got heart. It's a show you want to watch.

0:27:14 > 0:27:15I want to watch it right now.

0:27:15 > 0:27:18I'm excited. You're talking, and I'm excited.

0:27:18 > 0:27:20- Who wrote it?- Uh...

0:27:20 > 0:27:23Sean and Beverly Lincoln. You know, the team who did Pucks.

0:27:23 > 0:27:26- And it's good? - I'm telling you, it's not just good.

0:27:26 > 0:27:27It's a home run.

0:27:27 > 0:27:28This one found a winner.

0:27:28 > 0:27:31Oh!

0:27:31 > 0:27:33That's very generous.

0:27:33 > 0:27:34But before we commit to this,

0:27:34 > 0:27:37there are a lot of other really great scripts

0:27:37 > 0:27:40that I could, you know, pull out of my ass.

0:27:40 > 0:27:42What? No! This is it.

0:27:42 > 0:27:45I don't want to even shoot a pilot. I want to go straight to series.

0:27:45 > 0:27:47How soon can they start?