0:00:03 > 0:00:09This programme contains strong language.
0:00:09 > 0:00:12You don't have to audition. No shit! You just have to go in and meet.
0:00:12 > 0:00:14And I don't have to read? And you don't have to read. All right.
0:00:14 > 0:00:16I'm thinking it's time to stop taking the meds.
0:00:16 > 0:00:19It would be a huge mistake to stop now.
0:00:19 > 0:00:21I cannot stress this enough.
0:00:24 > 0:00:25Aah!
0:00:25 > 0:00:29This script isn't going to you. It isn't going to FOX.
0:00:29 > 0:00:32The only place it's going is in our suitcase home.
0:00:32 > 0:00:33OK!
0:00:33 > 0:00:36You don't pursue it behind our backs.
0:00:36 > 0:00:37It's over.
0:00:37 > 0:00:39Oh, my God.
0:00:39 > 0:00:40This one found a winner.
0:00:40 > 0:00:42I read it last night.
0:00:42 > 0:00:45I don't want to even shoot a pilot. I want to go straight to series.
0:00:45 > 0:00:46How soon can they start?
0:01:36 > 0:01:38CAROL: Hey, kids!
0:01:38 > 0:01:39Hello.
0:01:39 > 0:01:41This is a nice surprise.
0:01:41 > 0:01:44So, this is where the magic happens.
0:01:44 > 0:01:45Happened.
0:01:45 > 0:01:47SHE LAUGHS Right.
0:01:47 > 0:01:50Apparently, nobody wanted to see our tricks.
0:01:50 > 0:01:54Anyway, while I've got you...
0:01:54 > 0:01:55and don't bite my head off...
0:01:55 > 0:01:58This better not be going where I think it's going.
0:01:58 > 0:02:00I just want to have a conversation.
0:02:00 > 0:02:01Right!
0:02:01 > 0:02:03And what happened to the conversation
0:02:03 > 0:02:06where we agreed we would never, ever have this conversation?
0:02:06 > 0:02:10That was before Castor saw your script.
0:02:10 > 0:02:13Oh. He "saw" it!
0:02:13 > 0:02:15HIGH-PITCHED: I swear! I didn't show it to him!
0:02:15 > 0:02:17That's the octave you usually lie in.
0:02:17 > 0:02:21NORMALLY: Honest. He was snooping around my desk.
0:02:21 > 0:02:24He saw it and read it, and...hello!
0:02:24 > 0:02:26He loved it. Really?
0:02:26 > 0:02:28Loved it.
0:02:28 > 0:02:29Of all the things I've shown him,
0:02:29 > 0:02:32it's the only one he wants to do.
0:02:32 > 0:02:35So you did show it to him. Oh, so what?!
0:02:35 > 0:02:37I had to!
0:02:37 > 0:02:38My job is on the line!
0:02:38 > 0:02:40He hates everything.
0:02:40 > 0:02:41Your thing?
0:02:41 > 0:02:43He doesn't even want to shoot a pilot.
0:02:43 > 0:02:45He wants to go straight to series.
0:02:45 > 0:02:47I like the sound of that. I don't.
0:02:47 > 0:02:50That just means we get to skip limbo and go straight to hell.
0:02:50 > 0:02:52OK. How about this?
0:02:52 > 0:02:54What if we just buy the show from you?
0:02:54 > 0:02:56We'll hire someone else to run it.
0:02:56 > 0:02:58You won't even have to be here.
0:02:58 > 0:02:59No. No, no. It's our show.
0:02:59 > 0:03:01If anyone's going to run it, it'll be us.
0:03:01 > 0:03:03Well, you know I'd love that.
0:03:03 > 0:03:04Forget it!
0:03:04 > 0:03:06We're going home.
0:03:06 > 0:03:08To do what?
0:03:08 > 0:03:10What are you going to do when you get there?
0:03:10 > 0:03:12Try to get another show on?
0:03:12 > 0:03:15And even if you do, you'll make, what, six episodes
0:03:15 > 0:03:17of something no-one will ever see?
0:03:17 > 0:03:19Well, England.
0:03:19 > 0:03:20Exactly.
0:03:20 > 0:03:21So, are just supposed
0:03:21 > 0:03:27to ignore the disaster of the last 10 months?
0:03:27 > 0:03:29I am not going back into the burning building.
0:03:29 > 0:03:31I don't care.
0:03:31 > 0:03:34Let the fucking cat die.
0:03:44 > 0:03:45Where are you?
0:03:45 > 0:03:48I don't know.
0:03:51 > 0:03:54Maybe it could be different with a different show.
0:03:54 > 0:03:56Mm...
0:03:58 > 0:04:01I think it's like tossing those rings at the funfair.
0:04:01 > 0:04:04Each time, you're so sure you'll get it.
0:04:04 > 0:04:05Right.
0:04:05 > 0:04:06But, believe me,
0:04:06 > 0:04:11you're not going to walk away with a stuffed giraffe here.
0:04:11 > 0:04:14You just have to walk away.
0:04:16 > 0:04:17I want a giraffe.
0:04:17 > 0:04:19SHE CHUCKLES
0:04:21 > 0:04:22I know you do.
0:04:22 > 0:04:26And in this town, if you can win a giraffe...
0:04:26 > 0:04:28Right, but... SHE SIGHS
0:04:28 > 0:04:30..this town...
0:04:33 > 0:04:36It's no good for us. It nearly did us in.
0:04:36 > 0:04:38That is true.
0:04:39 > 0:04:43We've worked so hard to get back to a good place.
0:04:46 > 0:04:47And it's a very good place.
0:04:55 > 0:04:58We do so much better at home.
0:05:00 > 0:05:02I agree.
0:05:04 > 0:05:05Thank you.
0:05:11 > 0:05:14Mmm!
0:05:14 > 0:05:16Is that a giraffe?
0:05:16 > 0:05:18It just may be.
0:05:25 > 0:05:27I've been trying to get you.
0:05:27 > 0:05:28Oh, shoot. My phone was off.
0:05:28 > 0:05:30Why?
0:05:30 > 0:05:32I was getting waxed.
0:05:32 > 0:05:35If it rings, it startles her, and then...blgggh!
0:05:35 > 0:05:37What's going on? Castor called a big meeting.
0:05:37 > 0:05:38For when? 20 minutes ago.
0:05:38 > 0:05:40What?! It was totally last minute.
0:05:40 > 0:05:42Everyone's in there, even Elliot. Elliot's here?!
0:05:42 > 0:05:45Mm-hmm. Jesus Christ!
0:05:45 > 0:05:46But it's not just us.
0:05:46 > 0:05:50All network TV is...
0:05:50 > 0:05:53CHUCKLES SOFTLY (So sorry.
0:05:53 > 0:05:55(I didn't know.
0:05:55 > 0:05:56(Keep going.)
0:06:09 > 0:06:11LOUD THUD
0:06:13 > 0:06:15Where was I?
0:06:15 > 0:06:16Uh, "All network TV is..."
0:06:16 > 0:06:19Right. Dying.
0:06:19 > 0:06:23Network TV is dying.
0:06:23 > 0:06:27Every year, our ratings get lower.
0:06:27 > 0:06:28Cable is killing us.
0:06:28 > 0:06:31The internet is killing us.
0:06:31 > 0:06:34We're cancelling shows at an unprecedented rate.
0:06:34 > 0:06:36And what do we do?
0:06:36 > 0:06:38We sit around with our heads up our asses
0:06:38 > 0:06:41saying, "I don't smell anything. Do you?"
0:06:41 > 0:06:45We put out a product that's predictable and stale,
0:06:45 > 0:06:47and we wonder why no-one's watching.
0:06:47 > 0:06:50So now that you've depressed the shit out of us, what would you do?
0:06:50 > 0:06:53OK. We need to look at the big picture.
0:06:53 > 0:06:57We need to make bold moves, change the paradigm.
0:06:58 > 0:06:59What's the hottest thing right now?
0:06:59 > 0:07:01Kardashians. Zombies!
0:07:01 > 0:07:03Close.
0:07:03 > 0:07:05Why are we so obsessed with zombies?
0:07:05 > 0:07:06They're scary.
0:07:06 > 0:07:08Right! Why?
0:07:08 > 0:07:11Cos they're zombies? They're scary cos they're unpredictable!
0:07:11 > 0:07:14Yes! You never know when they're going to attack.
0:07:14 > 0:07:16That's what I want. You want to do a zombie show?
0:07:16 > 0:07:17You know, there are actually
0:07:17 > 0:07:20a couple of really strong zombie scripts.
0:07:20 > 0:07:24No! Christ! I'm not saying we do zombies.
0:07:24 > 0:07:28I'm saying...we BECOME zombies.
0:07:29 > 0:07:30All righty! SHE CHUCKLES
0:07:30 > 0:07:33We need to be unexpected, startling, dangerous!
0:07:33 > 0:07:36And how do you propose we do that?
0:07:36 > 0:07:37All right.
0:07:37 > 0:07:41Start by throwing away...the "when."
0:07:42 > 0:07:45"When's the show on?" Doesn't matter.
0:07:45 > 0:07:46We're living in a world where your TV
0:07:46 > 0:07:49is becoming your computer is becoming your iPad
0:07:49 > 0:07:50is becoming your phone.
0:07:50 > 0:07:52When the show's on is irrelevant.
0:07:52 > 0:07:55You don't go, "When's that YouTube video on?"
0:07:55 > 0:07:57It's just on.
0:07:57 > 0:08:00So, forget the when.
0:08:00 > 0:08:04Forget "nights" and "time slots"
0:08:04 > 0:08:06and "lead-ins."
0:08:06 > 0:08:09So, how are people supposed to know when...
0:08:09 > 0:08:10Forget the when!
0:08:10 > 0:08:12GIGGLES NERVOUSLY What... what when?
0:08:12 > 0:08:18What I mean is, how will they know what's on?
0:08:18 > 0:08:20They won't.
0:08:20 > 0:08:22That's the beauty!
0:08:22 > 0:08:26We've got to escape the tyranny of the schedule.
0:08:26 > 0:08:28Get rid of all of it!
0:08:31 > 0:08:33GRUNTING
0:08:36 > 0:08:37Jesus.
0:08:37 > 0:08:39Didn't see that coming.
0:08:39 > 0:08:42From now on, we programme anything at any time.
0:08:42 > 0:08:45Comedy, drama, reality... mix it the fuck up.
0:08:45 > 0:08:48Maybe one night, four hours all about bees!
0:08:48 > 0:08:50Bees? Bees!
0:08:50 > 0:08:51The next day, people are all, "Did you see
0:08:51 > 0:08:54"that fucking thing about the bees?" The sheer balls of it!
0:08:54 > 0:08:55Uh, help me out here.
0:08:55 > 0:08:57What are the bees doing?
0:08:57 > 0:08:59Are they funny bees?
0:08:59 > 0:09:00Are they killer bees?
0:09:00 > 0:09:02Do they have a talent? I don't know.
0:09:02 > 0:09:04Who gives a shit? They're bees.
0:09:04 > 0:09:06They'll do whatever bees do. The point is,
0:09:06 > 0:09:08people tune in to find out what the hell we're doing next.
0:09:08 > 0:09:10It's total water cooler.
0:09:10 > 0:09:13Oh! And everything's live.
0:09:13 > 0:09:16The bees are live? Maybe! How fucking great would that be?!
0:09:16 > 0:09:19SHE WHIMPERS People, we got to throw away the rules.
0:09:19 > 0:09:21Like, who says one show has to end
0:09:21 > 0:09:23before another one can start?
0:09:23 > 0:09:24How do you... Wait. What now?
0:09:24 > 0:09:27OK, say you're in the middle of some cooking show. This woman's cooking,
0:09:27 > 0:09:29and all of a sudden, the bad guy from a drama
0:09:29 > 0:09:32runs in with a fucking gun and holds her fucking hostage!
0:09:32 > 0:09:35Meanwhile, she has no idea what the fuck is happening!
0:09:35 > 0:09:37The woman from the cooking show doesn't know?
0:09:37 > 0:09:39Right! "Aah! What the fuck is happening?!"
0:09:39 > 0:09:42And people are tweeting, "You got to watch this! Turn it on! Turn it on!"
0:09:42 > 0:09:45Then, one of the cops from the drama runs in and shoots him...
0:09:45 > 0:09:46I mean, actually shoots him.
0:09:46 > 0:09:48We're shooting one of our actors?
0:09:48 > 0:09:50So we'll pay him more. There are actors who will do it.
0:09:50 > 0:09:52So we shoot him, then the police run in...
0:09:52 > 0:09:54the real police...and it's news.
0:09:54 > 0:09:56Then we cut to our news guy.
0:09:56 > 0:09:58That's when our news show starts.
0:09:58 > 0:10:02We make the news, then we report the news,
0:10:02 > 0:10:04and no-one will report it before us
0:10:04 > 0:10:06because we're the only ones who know what's happening.
0:10:06 > 0:10:09It's TV for a new century.
0:10:09 > 0:10:12And that's why they're going to watch us and not the other guys.
0:10:14 > 0:10:16How about that, my zombies?!
0:10:16 > 0:10:19BREATHING HEAVILY
0:10:33 > 0:10:36So he was crazy. Yeah.
0:10:39 > 0:10:42Hey, Matt.
0:10:42 > 0:10:43Berta Nissick.
0:10:43 > 0:10:44Hi. Nice to meet you.
0:10:44 > 0:10:46Actually, we've met before.
0:10:46 > 0:10:49I was the junior junior casting person on Married With Children.
0:10:49 > 0:10:51Oh, wow.
0:10:51 > 0:10:54Oh, you probably don't remember, but you hit on me at the wrap party.
0:10:54 > 0:10:55SHE CHUCKLES
0:10:55 > 0:10:57OK.
0:10:57 > 0:10:59So, this should be fun. I'm going to read with you.
0:10:59 > 0:11:03So if there's anything you want me to do or don't want me to do...
0:11:03 > 0:11:04Wait. What? What?
0:11:04 > 0:11:06Uh...I'm not reading.
0:11:06 > 0:11:07What?
0:11:07 > 0:11:09No, my agent spoke to someone,
0:11:09 > 0:11:12and it was absolutely understood that it's just a meeting.
0:11:12 > 0:11:15Ah. Um...
0:11:15 > 0:11:18Well, that's not the information we got.
0:11:18 > 0:11:22Andrew and the execs are in there, waiting for you to read.
0:11:22 > 0:11:24Well, that's not happening.
0:11:24 > 0:11:26OK.
0:11:26 > 0:11:28Um, just give me a sec.
0:11:28 > 0:11:29SHE CLICKS TONGUE Yeah, whatever.
0:11:29 > 0:11:31Yeah, I'm calling my agent.
0:11:31 > 0:11:33Good. Good, good, good.
0:11:33 > 0:11:34Yeah...
0:11:37 > 0:11:40Hey, it's Matt LeBlanc. Is he there?
0:11:40 > 0:11:42Can you reach him?
0:11:42 > 0:11:44No, no. I need him now.
0:11:44 > 0:11:47Cos I'm at fucking NBC, about to go into a fucking meeting,
0:11:47 > 0:11:50and they think I'm fucking reading, which I am fucking not!
0:11:50 > 0:11:52Listen, as soon as you hear from him,
0:11:52 > 0:11:54you have him call me on my cell.
0:11:56 > 0:11:58Monsieur LeBlanc...
0:11:58 > 0:12:01What a clusterfuck.
0:12:01 > 0:12:03We were told you were going to read.
0:12:03 > 0:12:06No. The whole deal was I'm not going to read.
0:12:06 > 0:12:08But then we heard that you were.
0:12:08 > 0:12:09No. HE SCOFFS
0:12:09 > 0:12:11How does this happen? I don't know.
0:12:11 > 0:12:16It's mortifying. I am mortified.
0:12:16 > 0:12:17So, what do we do?
0:12:17 > 0:12:20I don't know. They're waiting.
0:12:20 > 0:12:21You know if it were just up to me,
0:12:21 > 0:12:23I would give you the part in a heartbeat,
0:12:23 > 0:12:25but it's the fucking suits.
0:12:25 > 0:12:27It's becoming a pissing match.
0:12:27 > 0:12:29OK, look, you know how much I love this thing.
0:12:29 > 0:12:32But, no, I'm not reading.
0:12:34 > 0:12:35In all fairness...
0:12:35 > 0:12:37and I probably shouldn't tell you this...
0:12:37 > 0:12:40there is another actor they're very keen on.
0:12:40 > 0:12:43Who? I can't say.
0:12:43 > 0:12:45Can I? No. No? No!
0:12:45 > 0:12:47He came in yesterday,
0:12:47 > 0:12:50and he was fine in a totally boring way you'd expect
0:12:50 > 0:12:52if you knew who I was talking about.
0:12:52 > 0:12:54HE SNORES, LAUGHS
0:12:54 > 0:12:55But if you don't read today,
0:12:55 > 0:12:57they're going to give the part to him.
0:12:57 > 0:12:59Plus, he's a lot cheaper than you.
0:12:59 > 0:13:00A lot.
0:13:00 > 0:13:01Please!
0:13:01 > 0:13:03I beseech you.
0:13:03 > 0:13:06HE SIGHS HEAVILY
0:13:12 > 0:13:14No. No.
0:13:14 > 0:13:15I'm not going to eat their shit.
0:13:15 > 0:13:17Oh, come on!
0:13:17 > 0:13:19We all have to eat shit now and then.
0:13:19 > 0:13:22You just have to eat it until the show's a big hit...
0:13:22 > 0:13:25It's called show business!
0:13:25 > 0:13:29No. I'm sorry. Good luck with the project.
0:13:34 > 0:13:36So you just walked out?
0:13:36 > 0:13:37Hey, at a certain point,
0:13:37 > 0:13:40someone has to say no to these assholes.
0:13:40 > 0:13:42It's a very strange day when you're my hero.
0:13:42 > 0:13:45Aw(!) So, do we know who the other guy is who's getting the part?
0:13:45 > 0:13:47Nah. They were just using that to get me to read.
0:13:47 > 0:13:49There probably isn't even another guy.
0:13:49 > 0:13:50Really?
0:13:50 > 0:13:53Here's what's going to happen. Right now, they're telling each other
0:13:53 > 0:13:55they didn't want me in the first place.
0:13:55 > 0:13:59Then they'll offer it to some big movie guy like Nicolas Cage,
0:13:59 > 0:14:02who you know isn't going to do TV,
0:14:02 > 0:14:04but he'll jerk them around for a while,
0:14:04 > 0:14:07then come back and say... Ohh! He won't do TV.
0:14:07 > 0:14:08Then they'll go to, like,
0:14:08 > 0:14:11some big Broadway star who nobody's fucking heard of,
0:14:11 > 0:14:13and he won't want to leave New York,
0:14:13 > 0:14:15which only makes them want him more.
0:14:15 > 0:14:17So they'll offer to shoot it in New York,
0:14:17 > 0:14:20but then the Broadway guy will decide he doesn't want to do TV.
0:14:20 > 0:14:22Then they'll just give it to Dylan McDermott.
0:14:22 > 0:14:25And that's why I want to go home.
0:14:25 > 0:14:27Right. But in the meantime, you're here.
0:14:27 > 0:14:31So... To the three of us in what was, on the whole,
0:14:31 > 0:14:33a fairly shitty experience... THEY LAUGH
0:14:33 > 0:14:34PHONE RINGS Sorry.
0:14:34 > 0:14:36Hold that thought.
0:14:36 > 0:14:38You were up to "shitty experience." Hello?
0:14:38 > 0:14:41Sean, hi. It's Eileen.
0:14:41 > 0:14:45Did Carol Rance offer you a series pick-up, no pilot?
0:14:45 > 0:14:48Yes. 'You've got to tell me these things.'
0:14:48 > 0:14:50Kim Sally heard about it.
0:14:50 > 0:14:53She's willing to match it and kick in a big penalty.
0:14:53 > 0:14:55What? It's Eileen.
0:14:55 > 0:14:58FOX is willing to offer us a series pick-up with a big penalty.
0:14:58 > 0:15:01The penalty being we would have to do it.
0:15:01 > 0:15:02Eileen, I'm sorry.
0:15:02 > 0:15:05We said no to Carol, and it's no to Kim.
0:15:05 > 0:15:06It's not going to happen.
0:15:07 > 0:15:10PHONE RINGS Ugh! Unbelievable!
0:15:11 > 0:15:13Hello?
0:15:13 > 0:15:14Hi, sweetie.
0:15:14 > 0:15:16Hi. I'm out to dinner. Can I call you back?
0:15:16 > 0:15:17No. No?
0:15:17 > 0:15:19Elliot Salad read your script.
0:15:19 > 0:15:22He really liked it.
0:15:22 > 0:15:25He said it was the one sane thing Castor said.
0:15:25 > 0:15:28I can't believe we're even having this conversation again.
0:15:28 > 0:15:30It's Elliot Salad!
0:15:30 > 0:15:32'How do I say no to Elliot Salad?'
0:15:32 > 0:15:36I don't care. With croutons, but say it.
0:15:36 > 0:15:38What's happening? What's...
0:15:38 > 0:15:41Elliot Salad read the script, and now he wants to do it.
0:15:41 > 0:15:43She said... I heard. Put Bev on.
0:15:43 > 0:15:45She wants to talk to you. Switch.
0:15:45 > 0:15:46Seriously?!
0:15:47 > 0:15:49Bev, hi.
0:15:49 > 0:15:52We haven't really gotten to know each other that well...
0:15:52 > 0:15:57Or at all. OK, sure. But can I just say, as your agent...
0:15:57 > 0:15:59Our agent? She's our agent? Kind of.
0:15:59 > 0:16:01What about Stanley? He's OK with it.
0:16:01 > 0:16:03It's like waking up from a coma.
0:16:03 > 0:16:04'Bev, listen to me.'
0:16:04 > 0:16:07You've got two networks competing for you.
0:16:07 > 0:16:10It's a big deal. Not to me.
0:16:10 > 0:16:11Put her back on. Switch.
0:16:11 > 0:16:12Jesus Christ!
0:16:12 > 0:16:14Just put me on speaker.
0:16:14 > 0:16:16You're on speaker. 'All right.'
0:16:16 > 0:16:18What will it take to get you to stay here?
0:16:18 > 0:16:21'Name it. I will make it happen.'
0:16:21 > 0:16:25You want someone to bring you tea and crumpets every afternoon?
0:16:25 > 0:16:27I will do it personally.
0:16:27 > 0:16:28You...you need more rain?
0:16:28 > 0:16:30We got machines for that.
0:16:30 > 0:16:32'What do you want?'
0:16:32 > 0:16:33Judi Dench?
0:16:33 > 0:16:36There are ways to get her here.
0:16:36 > 0:16:37What's she offering you?
0:16:37 > 0:16:39Judi Dench, apparently.
0:16:39 > 0:16:40For which part?
0:16:40 > 0:16:42I think in general.
0:16:42 > 0:16:44All right. Put me on speaker, too.
0:16:44 > 0:16:46EXASPERATED SIGH
0:16:46 > 0:16:49'Carol, hi. It's Eileen.'
0:16:49 > 0:16:50CAROL: 'Hi, sweetie.'
0:16:50 > 0:16:53'Kim is prepared to match whatever you're offering,
0:16:53 > 0:16:54'and you know Kim.
0:16:54 > 0:16:55'Yeah, I know Kim.
0:16:55 > 0:16:58'She was my assistant for four years.
0:16:58 > 0:17:00'I don't care what Kim wants.
0:17:00 > 0:17:03'Elliot wants this to happen, so it is going to happen.'
0:17:03 > 0:17:05No, it's not going to happen.
0:17:05 > 0:17:07Then hang up.
0:17:07 > 0:17:08Just hang up. Hang the fuck up.
0:17:08 > 0:17:11We're hanging up. CAROL AND EILEEN: 'Don't hang up!'
0:17:11 > 0:17:12Bye!
0:17:12 > 0:17:15Now turn them off. Enough with the fucking phones.
0:17:15 > 0:17:17Starting now, it's a no-phone dinner, yes?
0:17:17 > 0:17:18Agreed. Done.
0:17:18 > 0:17:21PHONE RINGS Hang on a sec.
0:17:21 > 0:17:22What's up?
0:17:22 > 0:17:24You sitting down? Yeah.
0:17:24 > 0:17:26They blinked again.
0:17:26 > 0:17:28Who blinked? 'NBC.' Meaning?
0:17:28 > 0:17:30You got the show.
0:17:30 > 0:17:33SIGHS WITH RELIEF
0:17:35 > 0:17:39Got to say, I am not going to miss this place.
0:17:39 > 0:17:40Oh, I know.
0:17:40 > 0:17:42Of all the rooms we've ever been in,
0:17:42 > 0:17:44this may be my least favourite.
0:17:44 > 0:17:47And we've been in Anne Frank's house.
0:17:47 > 0:17:49SHE LAUGHS
0:17:51 > 0:17:53MERC LAUGHS
0:17:53 > 0:17:56COCKNEY ACCENT: Look who's here! It's fish and chips.
0:17:56 > 0:17:58Bloody hell. Fuck me.
0:17:58 > 0:17:59Come here, you.
0:17:59 > 0:18:01Really? Still?
0:18:01 > 0:18:02Come here.
0:18:03 > 0:18:06Ahh!
0:18:06 > 0:18:07Ah, you know, this is so weird.
0:18:07 > 0:18:10I was just thinking about you two. Why?
0:18:10 > 0:18:12We got to make some more TV together.
0:18:12 > 0:18:14Why would you say that?
0:18:14 > 0:18:15I'll tell you what your problem is.
0:18:15 > 0:18:18You need someone like me to run interference,
0:18:18 > 0:18:19keep the idiots out of your hair.
0:18:19 > 0:18:22This may be my favourite moment so far.
0:18:22 > 0:18:24I'm telling you. Someone's got to protect you
0:18:24 > 0:18:26from those assholes at the network.
0:18:26 > 0:18:27Where were you when we met you?
0:18:27 > 0:18:29HE LAUGHS
0:18:29 > 0:18:33Unfortunately, we're heading back to London tomorrow.
0:18:33 > 0:18:34Well, what about Pucks?
0:18:34 > 0:18:35Over.
0:18:35 > 0:18:38No! I loved that show.
0:18:38 > 0:18:39Did you(?)
0:18:39 > 0:18:43Well, at least that cocksucker LeBlanc's out of a job.
0:18:43 > 0:18:44That's one good thing.
0:18:44 > 0:18:46Actually, sorry to disappoint you,
0:18:46 > 0:18:49but he's starring in a big NBC pilot. Really?
0:18:49 > 0:18:51Mm, some drama. Supposed to be their hot new thing.
0:18:51 > 0:18:54Oh.
0:18:54 > 0:18:56Good for him.
0:19:01 > 0:19:03All right, kitchen's done. What next?
0:19:03 > 0:19:06Electric toothbrush with American plug?
0:19:06 > 0:19:07Chuck it. Consider it chucked.
0:19:07 > 0:19:09DOORBELL RINGS Oh, God.
0:19:09 > 0:19:11The car's here already?
0:19:15 > 0:19:17Hi.
0:19:17 > 0:19:18I came to say goodbye.
0:19:18 > 0:19:20And...?
0:19:20 > 0:19:21And nothing.
0:19:21 > 0:19:25I just wanted to give you a hug before you go.
0:19:30 > 0:19:32I know.
0:19:32 > 0:19:35I'm going to miss you so much.
0:19:35 > 0:19:37I'm going to miss you, too.
0:19:37 > 0:19:38I really am.
0:19:38 > 0:19:40Susan Sarandon read your script.
0:19:40 > 0:19:41What?! What?
0:19:41 > 0:19:44Oh, God. I wasn't going to say it. It just popped out.
0:19:44 > 0:19:45Let go of me.
0:19:45 > 0:19:47Don't be mad.
0:19:47 > 0:19:50She read it and really wants to do it.
0:19:50 > 0:19:53Susan Sarandon. I love Susan Sarandon.
0:19:53 > 0:19:54And she loves the part.
0:19:54 > 0:19:56She's never done a series.
0:19:56 > 0:19:59She said this is what she's been waiting for.
0:19:59 > 0:20:02Come on. Susan Sarandon!
0:20:02 > 0:20:04Oh, please!
0:20:04 > 0:20:06You know by the time they're done with us,
0:20:06 > 0:20:08it's not going to be Susan Sarandon.
0:20:08 > 0:20:10She's just saying Susan Sarandon today.
0:20:10 > 0:20:12Ooh, look... A carrot!
0:20:12 > 0:20:15But once we're in, it's, "Oh, sorry."
0:20:15 > 0:20:19"Susan can't do it. But you know who we can get?
0:20:19 > 0:20:23"Someone shitty who's totally wrong for the part."
0:20:23 > 0:20:25You watch. It'll end up being...
0:20:26 > 0:20:30..this cup. She'll ring us up one day. "Hold for Carol."
0:20:30 > 0:20:32And she'll be all... BREATHING HEAVILY
0:20:32 > 0:20:34AS CAROL: "You guys, guess what?
0:20:34 > 0:20:37"The cup wants to do your show. This is huge.
0:20:37 > 0:20:40"The cup turns down everything!"
0:20:40 > 0:20:42And we'll be, "Uh, the cup?"
0:20:42 > 0:20:44And she'll say, "Seriously?
0:20:44 > 0:20:46"You don't know the cup?
0:20:46 > 0:20:49"From Where's My Saucer? And Me and the Spoon."
0:20:49 > 0:20:53Yeah, and suddenly, we'll be doing a show
0:20:53 > 0:20:54starring a fucking cup,
0:20:54 > 0:20:55who you just know
0:20:55 > 0:20:58is going to want to make lots of very cuppy changes
0:20:58 > 0:21:02because it needs to make it its own.
0:21:02 > 0:21:04SHE SIGHS
0:21:05 > 0:21:07Did Susan say what she liked about it?
0:21:07 > 0:21:08Oh! DOORBELL RINGS
0:21:11 > 0:21:13Hey. Came to say goodbye.
0:21:13 > 0:21:15And that's all? Uh, yeah.
0:21:17 > 0:21:19You see?
0:21:19 > 0:21:24This is what saying goodbye looks like.
0:21:24 > 0:21:26No hidden agendas, no last-ditch efforts.
0:21:26 > 0:21:29Susan Sarandon wants to do our show!
0:21:29 > 0:21:31Pucks?! No, that other script.
0:21:31 > 0:21:33Ooh. I worked with her. She's amazing.
0:21:33 > 0:21:36If you could get Susan Sarandon... We've got her.
0:21:37 > 0:21:40Probably good you're going home. DOORBELL RINGS
0:21:40 > 0:21:42Shit. That's the car.
0:21:42 > 0:21:44What are we forgetting?
0:21:44 > 0:21:48Oh, good. I'm so glad I caught you before you left.
0:21:48 > 0:21:50Hi, guys.
0:21:50 > 0:21:51I've got big news.
0:21:51 > 0:21:53CBS wants in.
0:21:53 > 0:21:55That's three networks.
0:21:55 > 0:21:57Well, only one is getting it.
0:21:57 > 0:22:00CBS is guaranteeing them a killer time slot.
0:22:00 > 0:22:03You don't have a killer time slot.
0:22:03 > 0:22:04That's worth a lot.
0:22:04 > 0:22:06I got them Susan Sarandon.
0:22:06 > 0:22:09Susan Sarandon's not doing television.
0:22:09 > 0:22:10Thank you. Mnh-mnh.
0:22:10 > 0:22:12She's got three movies lined up.
0:22:12 > 0:22:15What about Goldie Hawn?
0:22:15 > 0:22:17Ooh! She's great.
0:22:17 > 0:22:18She's a client.
0:22:18 > 0:22:20Stop casting.
0:22:20 > 0:22:23PHONE RINGS Mm...
0:22:23 > 0:22:24Kim Sally from FOX.
0:22:24 > 0:22:25Hi, honey.
0:22:25 > 0:22:28I'm actually with them now.
0:22:28 > 0:22:29Not with me.
0:22:29 > 0:22:31I've also got Carol Rance here.
0:22:31 > 0:22:32Kim wants to come over, too.
0:22:32 > 0:22:34BEVERLY: No!
0:22:34 > 0:22:35This is fun.
0:22:35 > 0:22:37Don't worry. I'll call back if anything changes.
0:22:37 > 0:22:39Nothing is going to change.
0:22:39 > 0:22:41LANDLINE RINGING
0:22:50 > 0:22:52Aren't you going to get that?
0:22:52 > 0:22:55We never use that phone. It came with the house.
0:22:55 > 0:22:57It's never rung the whole time we've been here.
0:22:57 > 0:22:58We don't even know the number.
0:23:01 > 0:23:04I'm sorry. I cannot not answer a phone.
0:23:07 > 0:23:08Hello.
0:23:08 > 0:23:10'Hi. I'm calling from CBS.
0:23:10 > 0:23:12'I have Les Moonves for Sean and Beverly.'
0:23:12 > 0:23:16Uh, Sean and Beverly are right here.
0:23:16 > 0:23:19'You're on with Les.'
0:23:19 > 0:23:21Hi. Is this Sean and Beverly?
0:23:21 > 0:23:23Uh, it's Les Moon...
0:23:23 > 0:23:24ALL GASP
0:23:24 > 0:23:25We have a plane to catch.
0:23:25 > 0:23:28Are you crazy? I'll call him and say we were disconnected.
0:23:28 > 0:23:31You hung up on Les Moonves?! I'm calling Susan Sarandon.
0:23:31 > 0:23:33How can we leave? Everybody wants us.
0:23:33 > 0:23:35Which is why we should leave.
0:23:35 > 0:23:37It's the perfect time.
0:23:37 > 0:23:39What?
0:23:39 > 0:23:43We have spent a year feeling absolutely powerless.
0:23:43 > 0:23:44As soon as we say yes to one of those fuckers,
0:23:44 > 0:23:46we're right back there,
0:23:46 > 0:23:49but if we go now, with all of them fighting over us,
0:23:49 > 0:23:53that's as good as it gets in this town.
0:23:53 > 0:23:56This is the giraffe.
0:23:58 > 0:24:01Hey, your car's here. What should I tell him?
0:24:06 > 0:24:07We're leaving.
0:24:09 > 0:24:10Oh!
0:24:10 > 0:24:11Really?
0:24:11 > 0:24:14Shouldn't we, uh...
0:24:14 > 0:24:18Get Les Moonves back on the phone... I want to talk to Susan!
0:24:18 > 0:24:19Fuck 'em.
0:24:19 > 0:24:21THEY LAUGH
0:24:21 > 0:24:22Get out of here.
0:24:40 > 0:24:42Mr Salad!
0:24:42 > 0:24:44I didn't know you were in town.
0:24:44 > 0:24:46CHUCKLES
0:24:46 > 0:24:49So I'm still getting hugs?
0:24:49 > 0:24:52Why not? As I recall, last time we spoke,
0:24:52 > 0:24:55you told me I could go fuck myself with Castor Sotto's dick.
0:24:55 > 0:24:57Ah, you fired me. I was a little hurt.
0:24:57 > 0:24:59Water under the bridge.
0:24:59 > 0:25:00Anyway, uh, be well.
0:25:00 > 0:25:04Oh! I heard about Matt LeBlanc getting that big pilot over at NBC.
0:25:04 > 0:25:06What?
0:25:06 > 0:25:09What? You didn't know? They're building a whole night around it.
0:25:09 > 0:25:10Are you kidding? I got to say,
0:25:10 > 0:25:12I was surprised you'd let that happen.
0:25:12 > 0:25:15I mean, not my business any more, but how's that look?
0:25:15 > 0:25:19He bombs with you guys, then gets a big hit across the street?
0:25:19 > 0:25:21People get fired for that.
0:25:21 > 0:25:23And it's NBC?
0:25:23 > 0:25:26Mm-hmm. Jesus.
0:25:26 > 0:25:27Ah! Sorry I even mentioned it.
0:25:35 > 0:25:37Elliot, hi.
0:25:37 > 0:25:39Have we officially cancelled Pucks?
0:25:39 > 0:25:41Uh, no.
0:25:41 > 0:25:42You sure?
0:25:42 > 0:25:44The paperwork's still here on my desk.
0:25:45 > 0:25:47Pick it up for six more.
0:25:47 > 0:25:49Wait.
0:25:49 > 0:25:52You want to pick up Pucks?
0:25:52 > 0:25:56Today. But...you hate Pucks.
0:25:56 > 0:25:58I hate NBC more.
0:26:04 > 0:26:06Monsieur LeBlanc!
0:26:06 > 0:26:08Hey!
0:26:09 > 0:26:13How exciting. Our little adventure begins.
0:26:13 > 0:26:15I know. Very cool.
0:26:15 > 0:26:17You are going to be so wonderful in this.
0:26:17 > 0:26:20I can already smell your Emmy.
0:26:20 > 0:26:22SNIFFING No, that was me.
0:26:22 > 0:26:24BOTH LAUGH
0:26:24 > 0:26:26PHONE RINGS
0:26:26 > 0:26:29Ugh. Hang on a second... Agent.
0:26:29 > 0:26:32Hey, uh, can't talk right now.
0:26:32 > 0:26:34Yeah, I'm already here.
0:26:39 > 0:26:42Are you fucking kidding me?
0:26:42 > 0:26:44They can't do that. We were cancelled.
0:26:44 > 0:26:46What does "not officially" mean?
0:26:48 > 0:26:50That's bullshit.
0:26:50 > 0:26:52OK, so what does that mean about this?
0:26:55 > 0:26:59I don't care. I'm doing it. They can't stop me!
0:26:59 > 0:27:00Oh...
0:27:08 > 0:27:10BEVERLY: How wonderful is this?
0:27:10 > 0:27:12It's wet!
0:27:12 > 0:27:13Remember wet?
0:27:13 > 0:27:17Mm, and slippery, too.
0:27:17 > 0:27:21I've missed every precarious inch of it.
0:27:21 > 0:27:22Hard to believe that, yesterday,
0:27:22 > 0:27:25we were sitting in traffic on the 405. Mm.
0:27:25 > 0:27:29Oh, it's like waking up from some fever dream.
0:27:29 > 0:27:32We're awake, and we're here.
0:27:32 > 0:27:35And I love you.
0:27:35 > 0:27:37Love you, too.
0:27:44 > 0:27:46PHONE RINGS
0:27:48 > 0:27:50It's an LA number.
0:27:50 > 0:27:52Don't answer it.
0:27:52 > 0:27:57Oh, dear God, don't answer it!
0:27:57 > 0:27:59RINGING CONTINUES