The Austerity Games

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0:00:02 > 0:00:04She's left us all a little something.

0:00:04 > 0:00:06And this is all yours.

0:00:06 > 0:00:08There he is. Your great-grandfather.

0:00:08 > 0:00:10It's a Chinese man.

0:00:10 > 0:00:11This isn't a Chinese person.

0:00:11 > 0:00:13It's an English person playing a Japanese person.

0:00:13 > 0:00:15He's an actor.

0:00:15 > 0:00:16Ta-dah!

0:00:16 > 0:00:18He was the back end of a pantomime horse.

0:00:18 > 0:00:21I think I can say he was the best.

0:00:21 > 0:00:23Monkey's been telling me we should tread the boards ourselves.

0:00:23 > 0:00:25Well, I think I've got it in my blood.

0:00:25 > 0:00:27- Well, it's my blood. - My blood.

0:00:27 > 0:00:28My blood.

0:00:28 > 0:00:29She's so weird.

0:00:35 > 0:00:37Well, I think at a kids' party

0:00:37 > 0:00:39we should address some of the real issues

0:00:39 > 0:00:41they have to deal with these days.

0:00:41 > 0:00:42What sort of things, Monkey?

0:00:42 > 0:00:44Well, like drugs, you know.

0:00:44 > 0:00:46Kids are younger and younger when they're taking drugs.

0:00:46 > 0:00:48I just wanted to warn you

0:00:48 > 0:00:50that that stuff that you get on the street

0:00:50 > 0:00:52is really strong these days, you know?

0:00:52 > 0:00:55It's no longer the lovely, quiet approach to a high.

0:00:55 > 0:00:58I recommend mushrooms cos you can do that incrementally.

0:00:58 > 0:01:01Well, I don't take any drugs myself.

0:01:01 > 0:01:02Of course she does.

0:01:02 > 0:01:04No, I don't. I don't.

0:01:04 > 0:01:07She's in denial, but fortunately, I have access to the truth.

0:01:07 > 0:01:09We would talk about that maybe a bit,

0:01:09 > 0:01:12and then I've got this section called "Ask Monk."

0:01:12 > 0:01:14They can just ask me anything, you know? Anything they want.

0:01:14 > 0:01:17Like you know, maybe one kid...

0:01:17 > 0:01:19wants to know is his dad gay...

0:01:19 > 0:01:21I don't know.

0:01:21 > 0:01:22Why do you say that? Is it because of this guy?

0:01:22 > 0:01:25No! No, not you, of course.

0:01:25 > 0:01:27- He does look gay. - Not at all.

0:01:27 > 0:01:28It's the hair.

0:01:28 > 0:01:29And then...you know, or anything.

0:01:29 > 0:01:31Or maybe "My mother's frigid," I don't know.

0:01:31 > 0:01:34"Maybe she wants to have other kids, but found out she can't" -

0:01:34 > 0:01:35that kind of shit.

0:01:35 > 0:01:37I'm not saying that about you either.

0:01:37 > 0:01:38But you have that look about you.

0:01:38 > 0:01:40And then we can maybe end on a song, you know?

0:01:40 > 0:01:42Something...something jolly.

0:01:42 > 0:01:43Nursery rhyme.

0:01:43 > 0:01:46# Old MacDonald had a wank... #

0:01:46 > 0:01:48Something like that, yeah.

0:01:50 > 0:01:51Have we yet mentioned...

0:01:51 > 0:01:53that our son is five?

0:01:53 > 0:01:56Yes, yes.

0:01:56 > 0:02:01We're not really sure that your act is necessarily...age-appropriate.

0:02:01 > 0:02:03We just want to keep it real, you know.

0:02:03 > 0:02:04I think kids need a warning these days.

0:02:04 > 0:02:06Not that real, though - I saw your lips move.

0:02:06 > 0:02:09- I'm sorry?- While you were doing the "MacDonald" song.

0:02:09 > 0:02:11- You didn't see my lips move. - They didn't move.

0:02:11 > 0:02:12It was the "Donald," the "MacDonald."

0:02:12 > 0:02:14OK, at least I have lips.

0:02:16 > 0:02:17- He doesn't have "lits." - Shut up.

0:02:17 > 0:02:19People who don't have lips, don't have lips.

0:02:19 > 0:02:22- Anyway, your monkey's rude. - Oh?

0:02:22 > 0:02:24Yeah? I'm not rude.

0:02:24 > 0:02:25Fuck you, am I rude.

0:02:25 > 0:02:27Sorry.

0:02:27 > 0:02:30Fucking fuck you, you fucking whore.

0:02:31 > 0:02:32So what was the problem?

0:02:32 > 0:02:35They just looked at me like I was this disgusting thing, you know?

0:02:35 > 0:02:37I was doing them a service.

0:02:37 > 0:02:39These kids today, they need a warning.

0:02:39 > 0:02:43Bingo - one, two, three dead Chadwicks.

0:02:43 > 0:02:47I guess this is the Chadwick family plot.

0:02:47 > 0:02:50Yeah. I've never seen these gravestones before.

0:02:50 > 0:02:53Hmm...Granny and Granddad.

0:02:53 > 0:02:57Victoria, this is all your fault that we're doing this little journey.

0:02:57 > 0:03:00- I mean, we'll be here someday. - I know.

0:03:00 > 0:03:04I'll visit you and bring you flowers and soup.

0:03:04 > 0:03:06Wait, why am I dead first?

0:03:06 > 0:03:08Cos you've got less to live for, I think.

0:03:12 > 0:03:14Yeah, I mean, I can't remember a lot about my grandparents,

0:03:14 > 0:03:16Lydia and William.

0:03:18 > 0:03:19- Um...- No...

0:03:20 > 0:03:22I mean, we were very young.

0:03:22 > 0:03:24- Yeah. - And what a way to go.

0:03:24 > 0:03:28In a hot-air balloon.

0:03:28 > 0:03:31It's doubly tragic, isn't it?

0:03:31 > 0:03:33Supposed to be so uplifting.

0:03:33 > 0:03:37But then we were never allowed balloons at our birthday parties.

0:03:37 > 0:03:39- You know? - If a balloon popped in the house...

0:03:39 > 0:03:41- That's why that was! - Yeah.

0:03:41 > 0:03:44That makes sense. I never put those two together.

0:03:44 > 0:03:46- Yeah. - I do remember their funeral.

0:03:46 > 0:03:52Like, it was a celebration, really, more than anything else.

0:03:52 > 0:03:55- We did a song. - We did. We sang something.

0:03:55 > 0:03:59- The Bee Gees, was it? - The Beatles.

0:03:59 > 0:04:01- Wasn't it? - Was there?

0:04:01 > 0:04:02Oh, I don't remember.

0:04:02 > 0:04:06I thought it was Stayin' Alive, but it couldn't have been.

0:04:06 > 0:04:09- Stayin' Alive by the Bee Gees. - Was that it?

0:04:09 > 0:04:11- Yeah. - That rings a bell.

0:04:23 > 0:04:25That's very cool.

0:04:34 > 0:04:37Cool.

0:04:47 > 0:04:50"Winner of the bronze medal, Mr..."

0:04:50 > 0:04:51Why did I say bronze?

0:04:51 > 0:04:54If I'm making it up, just make it gold.

0:04:55 > 0:04:58Tommy, have you noticed any change in personality in me lately?

0:04:58 > 0:05:01No, no, you seem pretty compos mentis.

0:05:01 > 0:05:02Hmm. That's one of the symptoms.

0:05:02 > 0:05:05- Of what? - Mad Cow Disease.

0:05:05 > 0:05:08- You think you have Mad Cow Disease? - Not sure.

0:05:08 > 0:05:10I've got a couple of other symptoms, but...

0:05:10 > 0:05:14I found this...in the trunk.

0:05:14 > 0:05:15- Oh, my gosh.- Look at that.

0:05:15 > 0:05:17Haven't seen one of those for a while.

0:05:17 > 0:05:20That's a beauty. That's from the 1948 London Games.

0:05:20 > 0:05:21That's right. It says that.

0:05:21 > 0:05:23Oh, yes - the "Austerity Games," they called it.

0:05:23 > 0:05:26- Oh.- Yeah, it had almost no budget at all.

0:05:26 > 0:05:29- Oh. - First poster? Three rings.

0:05:29 > 0:05:31- Holy moly, that's a lot less, isn't it?- Yep.

0:05:31 > 0:05:35I've got some stuff from that event somewhere...here we go.

0:05:35 > 0:05:38Yeah, I found some pictures and stuff with it, but I don't know...

0:05:38 > 0:05:42Look at this. Take a gander at this, Tommy.

0:05:42 > 0:05:44- Shoe - no spikes. - Oh.

0:05:44 > 0:05:47They thought they were going to have to jettison the javelin.

0:05:47 > 0:05:48That's what they were going for.

0:05:48 > 0:05:50- Darts. - Darts.

0:05:50 > 0:05:53And here we go, the discus - plates.

0:05:53 > 0:05:54Really?

0:05:54 > 0:05:56- Yeah.- That's all right.

0:05:56 > 0:05:59Do you know what else I found was an old record,

0:05:59 > 0:06:01but I don't have the app for that.

0:06:01 > 0:06:03Ah, yes. Well, I've got a gramophone at home.

0:06:03 > 0:06:06- I'll give it a whirl and get back to you.- Thanks.

0:06:06 > 0:06:08Hey, do you think there's any way that I could find out

0:06:08 > 0:06:10if the person who wore this is related to me?

0:06:10 > 0:06:13Apart from a DNA test, I suppose there's one quick way.

0:06:15 > 0:06:16Wow...you're going to smell me.

0:06:16 > 0:06:18- Hi, Dad. - Oh, hello, darling.

0:06:18 > 0:06:21- It's my daughter Lucy. - Hi, how are you?

0:06:21 > 0:06:23Give your old man a big kiss.

0:06:23 > 0:06:25- Do you know Tommy? - Yes.

0:06:25 > 0:06:27- We've met, I think. - He lives upstairs.

0:06:27 > 0:06:31I've spent many the afternoon enjoying your delicious cakes.

0:06:31 > 0:06:32Oh, good.

0:06:32 > 0:06:35Well, you should try this, cos Dad can't eat the whole thing.

0:06:35 > 0:06:37Yum, yum.

0:06:37 > 0:06:39It's good, it's moist. It's a nice moist cake.

0:06:39 > 0:06:41- I'll bet. - Yeah.

0:06:41 > 0:06:43How's the wedding planning going?

0:06:43 > 0:06:45Um...

0:06:45 > 0:06:47Well, it's kind of not, really.

0:06:47 > 0:06:50Oh, shit, I just brought up something really bad, didn't I?

0:06:50 > 0:06:51It's fine. I'm over it...

0:06:51 > 0:06:54Well, I'm not over it, but I'm...you know, I'm doing OK.

0:06:54 > 0:06:56- Yeah. - We split up about two weeks ago.

0:06:56 > 0:06:58It's tough, isn't it? It's tough.

0:06:58 > 0:07:00Yeah, because I came out of a thing as well.

0:07:00 > 0:07:02- Oh, so you're single? - Yeah, it was like, weird.

0:07:02 > 0:07:04It's hard coming out of...

0:07:04 > 0:07:06Yeah, it's tricky because you're so close, aren't you?

0:07:06 > 0:07:09- Yeah, you are.- Then suddenly, you wish they had never been born.

0:07:09 > 0:07:11- So it's tough. - Oh, really?

0:07:11 > 0:07:14You're not really friends, then, or anything?

0:07:14 > 0:07:17- No, we are not, Lucy. - No? Gosh.

0:07:17 > 0:07:18Oh, yeah.

0:07:18 > 0:07:20Yeah, I'm really enjoying the life of the single man.

0:07:20 > 0:07:22HE CLEARS HIS THROAT

0:07:22 > 0:07:26Obviously, in the aftermath of Sarah moving out,

0:07:26 > 0:07:29there was quite a void.

0:07:29 > 0:07:32But, you know, I've realised that not all voids are bad.

0:07:32 > 0:07:34I've been reading this book,

0:07:34 > 0:07:36"Wonders of the Solar System" kind of thing,

0:07:36 > 0:07:39and there's a chapter on black holes.

0:07:39 > 0:07:43And they are, in essence, a void.

0:07:43 > 0:07:46But they expand,

0:07:46 > 0:07:51sucking different celestial bodies and debris into the vast darkness

0:07:51 > 0:07:54from which not even sunlight can escape.

0:07:56 > 0:07:59And then they implode on themselves.

0:08:01 > 0:08:03Exciting day today.

0:08:03 > 0:08:06I managed to find Victoria's will online,

0:08:06 > 0:08:08which is kind of creepy.

0:08:08 > 0:08:10But it does mean that I discovered

0:08:10 > 0:08:13that she left her flat to an old friend of hers

0:08:13 > 0:08:15called Mildred Budgens.

0:08:15 > 0:08:18So I'm going to go in and see her

0:08:18 > 0:08:22and hopefully find out more about William and Victoria

0:08:22 > 0:08:25and convince her to swap what she got in the will for what I got in the will.

0:08:27 > 0:08:28So I'm just going to...

0:08:28 > 0:08:31Pete's coming along, which is...

0:08:32 > 0:08:34He should be eager to get in.

0:08:36 > 0:08:37Tommy!

0:08:42 > 0:08:44All right, just leave it.

0:08:44 > 0:08:45Someone's dropped a lighter.

0:08:45 > 0:08:48- You don't smoke. - No, but I like fire.

0:08:48 > 0:08:50- And it works. - Oh, that's good.

0:08:55 > 0:08:57- Right. That's yours. - Ah, thank you.

0:08:57 > 0:08:59You want a glass, or would you like it...?

0:08:59 > 0:09:01No, if you're going straight from the bottle,

0:09:01 > 0:09:02straight down the gullet.

0:09:02 > 0:09:04I like your style. Whoa!

0:09:04 > 0:09:08With this Old Bomber's Gob, you are spoiling us, Mildred.

0:09:08 > 0:09:10- Cheers.- Cheers.

0:09:11 > 0:09:15- Mmm. I respect your taste in beer. - Thank you.

0:09:15 > 0:09:17And I must say, I respect your taste in art.

0:09:17 > 0:09:19I don't know a lot about art, but I know what I like.

0:09:19 > 0:09:25And I like pictures and models and posters of them...all these.

0:09:25 > 0:09:29Yeah, stripped-down, naked art. I like it. I like it, too.

0:09:29 > 0:09:32Well, it was Victoria's taste. Maybe it runs in the family.

0:09:32 > 0:09:33Saucy.

0:09:33 > 0:09:37Well, we were both evacuated to the same boarding school,

0:09:37 > 0:09:39right out in the sticks.

0:09:39 > 0:09:42- Wow.- In a sea of mud we were, and we loved it.

0:09:42 > 0:09:44- This was World War II? - Yes. Have a heart.

0:09:44 > 0:09:46- Yeah, yeah. - (God's sake.)

0:09:46 > 0:09:49Anyway, she was very, very energetic.

0:09:49 > 0:09:53It was always physical, everything we did.

0:09:53 > 0:09:55And one summer day she took me back to her home,

0:09:55 > 0:09:57and I met her family.

0:09:57 > 0:09:58Oh, yeah? How were they?

0:09:58 > 0:10:00- Well, varied.- Yeah.

0:10:00 > 0:10:03She was very close to her older brother, William,

0:10:03 > 0:10:05and they were a lot alike.

0:10:05 > 0:10:08Sorry, you said her older brother? She only had one brother.

0:10:08 > 0:10:11No, William and Brian. She had two brothers.

0:10:11 > 0:10:14Brian? She had another brother called Brian?

0:10:14 > 0:10:16Victoria had two brothers.

0:10:16 > 0:10:18Oh, my God. I didn't know that.

0:10:18 > 0:10:20One that could do no right, and one that could do no wrong.

0:10:20 > 0:10:21That was William.

0:10:21 > 0:10:25I found in the trunk that Victoria left for me a vest,

0:10:25 > 0:10:28and it looks like it's...part of the Great British team

0:10:28 > 0:10:30from the '48 Games.

0:10:30 > 0:10:33That would have been William's. That was your grandfather's.

0:10:33 > 0:10:36So he was actually in the Games? He was in the British team?

0:10:36 > 0:10:38Oh, yes. Well, he was a boxer.

0:10:38 > 0:10:41I have a picture of him. I have a picture of him boxing.

0:10:41 > 0:10:43- It must be him. - Yes, it is. It's your grandfather.

0:10:43 > 0:10:44Oh, my God.

0:10:44 > 0:10:47- I'm sorry that it skipped a generation.- That's impressive.

0:10:47 > 0:10:48It's very impressive.

0:10:48 > 0:10:50- He was called the "Tufton Terror." - Right.

0:10:50 > 0:10:53After the village they grew up in in Derbyshire.

0:10:53 > 0:10:56But Victoria, now, she was a real athlete.

0:10:56 > 0:11:00She had a very special way of doing the shot put.

0:11:00 > 0:11:02She invented a special way of throwing.

0:11:02 > 0:11:05It was called the "Chadwick Chuck."

0:11:05 > 0:11:08- Oh. - And, boy, did she chuck it.

0:11:08 > 0:11:10And she was much better at it than anybody else,

0:11:10 > 0:11:11but nobody else could do what she did,

0:11:11 > 0:11:13so they said it was illegal.

0:11:13 > 0:11:16Did you stay friends, then, for years after that?

0:11:16 > 0:11:19- Oh, yes. - Must have been friends, right?

0:11:19 > 0:11:21- Every year we went somewhere. - There's loads of pictures with you.

0:11:21 > 0:11:24We went on holidays together, round the world together.

0:11:24 > 0:11:26- Nice. - We went to the East...

0:11:26 > 0:11:30I'll bet the two of you were beating them off with a stick.

0:11:30 > 0:11:34Victoria got attention from everybody.

0:11:34 > 0:11:36Bet you had your fun with the lads.

0:11:36 > 0:11:38One in every port.

0:11:38 > 0:11:41- Couple of chicks like you. - She always attracted interest.

0:11:41 > 0:11:44And so we moved in together, and very happy it was, too.

0:11:44 > 0:11:46- You moved in together? - Yes.

0:11:46 > 0:11:49Did you ever settle down with one lad?

0:11:49 > 0:11:53Who needs it? You know what? Two girls, just...

0:11:53 > 0:11:55Why not have a taste of them all?

0:11:55 > 0:11:57- Would you like another beer? - I'm good with this one.

0:11:57 > 0:12:00- Shut him up. - What?

0:12:00 > 0:12:01What?

0:12:01 > 0:12:05So I was wondering, Mildred, if you'd have any idea

0:12:05 > 0:12:08why Victoria left me that big trunk of stuff.

0:12:08 > 0:12:10Do you remember - no, you wouldn't, probably -

0:12:10 > 0:12:12when you and your sister used to come and visit her

0:12:12 > 0:12:14when you were little?

0:12:14 > 0:12:17Um...not really.

0:12:17 > 0:12:18She took a great shine to you.

0:12:18 > 0:12:20She thought you were a very bright little boy.

0:12:20 > 0:12:22You were interested in everything.

0:12:22 > 0:12:26So she always kept you in her mind.

0:12:26 > 0:12:29And just before she died,

0:12:29 > 0:12:34Vic said that she hoped you might be the one to carry it on.

0:12:34 > 0:12:38- Carry on with what? - I don't know.

0:12:42 > 0:12:43I will.

0:12:43 > 0:12:48I have some things here that I think Vic would have liked you to have.

0:12:48 > 0:12:52- Oh, more stuff. - I've kept them all these years.

0:12:52 > 0:12:55First, your grandfather's boxing gloves.

0:12:55 > 0:12:57- Oh, my God. - They are awesome.

0:12:57 > 0:13:00- Look at that! - That's cool.

0:13:00 > 0:13:01These were in the London Games.

0:13:01 > 0:13:05This is your grandfather's jockstrap.

0:13:06 > 0:13:09- I'm sure she'd like you to have it. - Just put it on the glove.

0:13:09 > 0:13:11- Love that. - There we go.

0:13:11 > 0:13:13This is the prize of all.

0:13:13 > 0:13:16This is Victoria's shot put.

0:13:16 > 0:13:19I can't lift the damn thing, but she used to chuck it.

0:13:19 > 0:13:21Don't worry, I'll get that.

0:13:21 > 0:13:22Come on, you...

0:13:22 > 0:13:23Ow!

0:13:23 > 0:13:25You all right there, Pete?

0:13:25 > 0:13:26Shit the bed...

0:13:28 > 0:13:31Shh.

0:13:31 > 0:13:33This is what happens when siblings procreate.

0:13:42 > 0:13:44Amazing, the things you hang on to.

0:13:44 > 0:13:46Yeah.

0:13:46 > 0:13:47You'll enjoy this.

0:13:47 > 0:13:50There you are.

0:13:50 > 0:13:51That's your granddad.

0:13:51 > 0:13:53- Wow! - Oh, my God!

0:13:53 > 0:13:55OK, this is his gym membership card.

0:13:55 > 0:13:57The "Jack Perry Gymnasium"?

0:13:57 > 0:13:59- Yeah. - So he was a really good boxer?

0:13:59 > 0:14:02- Don't really know.- They called him the "Tufton Terror."

0:14:02 > 0:14:03Yeah, yeah, I suppose.

0:14:03 > 0:14:05Do you remember him being really strong?

0:14:05 > 0:14:06Hitting you as a kid?

0:14:06 > 0:14:08No, he wasn't terribly physical at all.

0:14:08 > 0:14:10Rather distant, you know.

0:14:10 > 0:14:13- How about Brian? - Oh, Christ.

0:14:13 > 0:14:16- You know who Brian is? - Yeah, yeah.

0:14:16 > 0:14:18Now, this would have been useful.

0:14:18 > 0:14:20Look, I never met him until my dad's funeral.

0:14:20 > 0:14:22- Right. - He showed up, the last minute,

0:14:22 > 0:14:26pinned some sort of carnation or something on my dad's lapel.

0:14:26 > 0:14:29Scarpered. Never saw him again.

0:14:29 > 0:14:31Do you know what happened to him after that?

0:14:31 > 0:14:33No. Never gave it much thought.

0:14:33 > 0:14:35Really? This is your uncle.

0:14:35 > 0:14:37Well, look. You got to understand,

0:14:37 > 0:14:39in our clan, family is what disappears

0:14:39 > 0:14:41when you're not looking at it.

0:14:41 > 0:14:43That's not a saying.

0:14:43 > 0:14:44I don't think that's a saying.

0:14:44 > 0:14:46- No.- Well, it is now.

0:14:48 > 0:14:50OK, well, this has been informative.

0:14:50 > 0:14:53- And these are good. - Do you want to keep any of this?

0:14:53 > 0:14:56- Yeah, let's have a look at these gloves.- Yeah.

0:14:56 > 0:14:57It's a nice memento.

0:14:58 > 0:15:01It's quite an object, isn't it? Look at it.

0:15:01 > 0:15:03Think of the sweat and effort in those.

0:15:03 > 0:15:04- Oh.- Oh, yeah.

0:15:04 > 0:15:07I like it. I feel its pain.

0:15:07 > 0:15:09The whole hand thing.

0:15:09 > 0:15:11I just wondered, maybe you and I could go on holiday...

0:15:11 > 0:15:13Monkey, I don't think now's the time.

0:15:13 > 0:15:15I'd take you to the South of France.

0:15:15 > 0:15:17Monkey, please. I'm so sorry about this.

0:15:17 > 0:15:19No, I wish I could say this is the first time

0:15:19 > 0:15:21I've seen him fuck a glove.

0:15:24 > 0:15:26- Oh, shit! - Oh, God. I'm so sorry.

0:15:26 > 0:15:29You're not going to light up, are ya?

0:15:29 > 0:15:31- There we go.- Cheers. - Good to see you, Tommy.

0:15:31 > 0:15:33- Yeah.- Bea, Monk.

0:15:35 > 0:15:38Ding-a-ling-a-ling! Your attention, please.

0:15:38 > 0:15:43- Tell them.- Monkey and I have got a professional gig.

0:15:43 > 0:15:46- Doing what?- We're doing 20 minutes.

0:15:46 > 0:15:47Of comedy.

0:15:47 > 0:15:49At a wedding reception.

0:15:49 > 0:15:52- Entertainment? - Uh-huh. We're going to do it.

0:15:52 > 0:15:55- What? Why are you laughing? - Why are you laughing?

0:15:55 > 0:15:57What are you doing with your life? What's this about?

0:15:57 > 0:16:00- I think it's great. - Yeah, we want to be supportive.

0:16:00 > 0:16:02Are you going to be using your own name?

0:16:02 > 0:16:05- Yes, I am. Yes.- Problem with that?

0:16:05 > 0:16:07No, no, no. Wear it with pride.

0:16:07 > 0:16:10- I'll let you know how it goes. - OK, yeah, yeah.

0:16:10 > 0:16:12- Oh, my goodness. - Lovely. OK, yeah.

0:16:12 > 0:16:13Watch this space.

0:16:13 > 0:16:16See you soon.

0:16:16 > 0:16:17Oh, my Christ.

0:16:40 > 0:16:43Hi there. Hi.

0:16:43 > 0:16:44- TJ?- Tom?

0:16:44 > 0:16:46- Yes. - Yeah, welcome, Tom.

0:16:46 > 0:16:48- Thank you. - My gym, this.

0:16:48 > 0:16:50I train here long time. 10 years.

0:16:50 > 0:16:53- Oh, wow. - Want to know about the gym?

0:16:53 > 0:16:55You see there? We have Briggid there.

0:16:55 > 0:16:57Briggid there...fire. Huh?

0:16:57 > 0:16:59- HE SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY - ..hot.

0:16:59 > 0:17:00Know what I mean?

0:17:00 > 0:17:03There we have Eddie. You see him there?

0:17:03 > 0:17:05"Eddie Executioner." You know what I mean?

0:17:05 > 0:17:07"Executioner"? Is it because he killed somebody?

0:17:07 > 0:17:09Yeah, man. He killed everyone.

0:17:09 > 0:17:12- Aw, that's great. - And there I have Jack Perry there.

0:17:12 > 0:17:14Oh, Jack - yeah, I saw that this is called the Jack Perry...

0:17:14 > 0:17:16This gym, here, is named after Jack Perry.

0:17:16 > 0:17:21The special thing about Jack Perry...him have one arm.

0:17:21 > 0:17:23- He had only one arm?- Yeah.

0:17:23 > 0:17:26HE SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY

0:17:27 > 0:17:28You said it.

0:17:28 > 0:17:31You want to meet some of the boxers that used to be here?

0:17:31 > 0:17:34- Great. - Cool, man. Come now.

0:17:34 > 0:17:35Oh, we're going...yeah?

0:17:35 > 0:17:37They're the men, them.

0:17:37 > 0:17:40We have Barry Booker,

0:17:40 > 0:17:43we have Jimmy Pickwick, that's Terry Cross there.

0:17:43 > 0:17:45- Hey, everybody. - Tom, this one.

0:17:45 > 0:17:47Thanks, TJ. Cheers.

0:17:47 > 0:17:49Nice to meet you. Thank you.

0:17:49 > 0:17:52- Hey, how's it going? - Morning.

0:17:52 > 0:17:54Oh, you know, I'd better not.

0:17:54 > 0:17:58I'm actually here because I think my grandfather trained here.

0:17:58 > 0:18:01He was a bit of a boxer. His name was William Chadwick.

0:18:01 > 0:18:03- Yeah, yeah, yeah. - You ever heard of...yeah?

0:18:03 > 0:18:06- Billy Chadwick? - Sure, why not? Yeah.

0:18:06 > 0:18:08- What did they call him? - The "Tufton Terror."

0:18:08 > 0:18:10- That's it.- Yeah.

0:18:10 > 0:18:12- He used to spar with my Uncle Jack. - No way!

0:18:12 > 0:18:15Yeah, yeah. Before the London Games, he sparred with my Uncle Jack.

0:18:15 > 0:18:18That's right, before he was in the London Games in '48?

0:18:18 > 0:18:19That's right! Yeah, yeah, yeah.

0:18:19 > 0:18:22Do you remember anything from back then?

0:18:22 > 0:18:24It was just after the war. Nobody...there was no money.

0:18:24 > 0:18:27Nobody knew what resources there were going to be.

0:18:27 > 0:18:29We didn't know what games they were going to have.

0:18:29 > 0:18:32We trained at all sorts of things.

0:18:32 > 0:18:34I remember the egg-and-spoon, cos eggs was rationed.

0:18:34 > 0:18:38- The sack race... - There was a sack race?

0:18:38 > 0:18:40- Yeah, yeah. - Tug of war.

0:18:40 > 0:18:42Wow, that was different, wasn't it?

0:18:42 > 0:18:45Do you know if William actually won a medal at the Games?

0:18:45 > 0:18:47- Oh, no.- No?

0:18:47 > 0:18:49No, no.

0:18:49 > 0:18:51He lost the first bout. He went out...boom.

0:18:51 > 0:18:54- Yeah.- Big disappointment. Big disappointment.

0:18:54 > 0:18:56All right, Tommy?

0:18:56 > 0:18:59Sorry I'm late. One of the guinea pigs broke out of its cage.

0:18:59 > 0:19:01Ended up in the ball pool. Bit a kid.

0:19:01 > 0:19:03Not funny - the kid had to have a tetanus shot,

0:19:03 > 0:19:04and I had to put the animal down.

0:19:04 > 0:19:06- This is Pete. - Hi. You all right, lads?

0:19:06 > 0:19:08- Hi, Pete.- How you doin'?

0:19:08 > 0:19:11Whoa! Wagwan, breadbins. Nice move.

0:19:11 > 0:19:13That's fine. Professional.

0:19:13 > 0:19:15Feeling irie and t'ing. You all right?

0:19:15 > 0:19:18- Nice hat. Hat brothers. - Oh, please don't do Rasta.

0:19:18 > 0:19:19Brothers from another mother.

0:19:19 > 0:19:21Yeah, listen, I was just wondering.

0:19:21 > 0:19:23I'm more of an MMA man myself.

0:19:23 > 0:19:26Like, I got Muay Thai skills, BJJ.

0:19:26 > 0:19:27I'm sick off my back.

0:19:27 > 0:19:30But, you know, when in Rome,

0:19:30 > 0:19:32why not do what the Romans do and box?

0:19:32 > 0:19:33Go old school. Kingsberry rules.

0:19:33 > 0:19:35- Queensberry. - These guys know.

0:19:35 > 0:19:37You got anyone I can have a little roll-around...

0:19:37 > 0:19:40Not a big one with tattoos,

0:19:40 > 0:19:44but you got any little lads I can have a little muck-around with?

0:19:44 > 0:19:47- Not afraid? - Yeah, no, I'm...

0:19:47 > 0:19:49- You're not afraid? - No, I'm not afraid.

0:19:49 > 0:19:51- Come. - That's right. Man got a brave heart.

0:19:51 > 0:19:53We going to run dis t'ing. We going to do dis t'ing.

0:19:53 > 0:19:55- Oh, shit. - Now.

0:19:55 > 0:19:58Some man's going to get lick in the headpiece, boxing style.

0:19:58 > 0:20:01- I'm with him. Yes! - Who is that?

0:20:01 > 0:20:03That's Pete Stupples. He works at a zoo.

0:20:03 > 0:20:05- Or in?- Yeah, good question.

0:20:05 > 0:20:07I'll tell you something, though.

0:20:07 > 0:20:08Once the Games got up and started,

0:20:08 > 0:20:10you know the best thing about them

0:20:10 > 0:20:12was listening to them on the wireless.

0:20:12 > 0:20:15- t was real. - Of course it was, yeah.

0:20:15 > 0:20:17PETE: Let's do dis t'ing!

0:20:17 > 0:20:19Let's do dis t'ing!

0:20:21 > 0:20:24That rope's... They're usually tighter than that.

0:20:24 > 0:20:26Someone could get hurt.

0:20:26 > 0:20:28That's fine, anyway.

0:20:28 > 0:20:30Ooh-oo!

0:20:34 > 0:20:37- Wait...! - He took one there.

0:20:37 > 0:20:39He was doing it properly.

0:20:39 > 0:20:43OK, fine. If we're doing it properly, that's cool.

0:20:43 > 0:20:44I'm back.

0:20:45 > 0:20:48Oof! Ugh!

0:20:48 > 0:20:49Ugh!

0:20:51 > 0:20:52He killed the boy on that.

0:20:52 > 0:20:54- And he's down.- Dear, oh, dear.

0:20:54 > 0:20:57- Good work. - Hey, you...ah...

0:20:57 > 0:21:01- You all right, Pete? - No.

0:21:01 > 0:21:02Just keep going, Pete.

0:21:02 > 0:21:06- You'll wear him down. - What?! Mum? Mum?

0:21:13 > 0:21:15All right, Mum, Dad? 'Ow's it 'anging?

0:21:15 > 0:21:20It is not 'anging at all well right this minute, Sunil.

0:21:21 > 0:21:23Love that bit.

0:21:23 > 0:21:25Why is funny?

0:21:25 > 0:21:27- Why is it funny? - Yes.

0:21:27 > 0:21:30She's putting marmalade on a poppadom.

0:21:31 > 0:21:32Why is funny?

0:21:32 > 0:21:35It's sort of a culture clash thing.

0:21:35 > 0:21:38WOMAN ON TV: Do you think we have never heard the excuse...

0:21:38 > 0:21:41DOORBELL RINGS

0:21:41 > 0:21:42Thanks.

0:21:42 > 0:21:46- MAN ON TV:- You cannot be blaming a sacred animal, Sunil.

0:21:46 > 0:21:48Be a man and admit

0:21:48 > 0:21:51that you have made a very big cock-up on your teacher at school.

0:21:53 > 0:21:54Is Tom.

0:21:54 > 0:21:57- Hello, Tommy. How are you, then? - Hey.

0:21:57 > 0:22:00He smell food. You hungry?

0:22:00 > 0:22:02- I see your face. - No, I'm not. I just had...

0:22:02 > 0:22:04"Luba, I hungry. I hungry." You eat.

0:22:04 > 0:22:06I just had a whole box of fish fingers.

0:22:06 > 0:22:09- You're on your own again tonight, aren't you?- What?

0:22:09 > 0:22:10You're alone. You're not seeing anyone, are you?

0:22:10 > 0:22:14I...I'm not seeing...like, not seriously, no.

0:22:14 > 0:22:15Don't you like to go out?

0:22:15 > 0:22:17Don't you like to take a girl out on the town?

0:22:17 > 0:22:18I love to do that.

0:22:18 > 0:22:21But it's tricky out there. It's not like when you were...

0:22:21 > 0:22:23Women are scary now.

0:22:23 > 0:22:25They're no different than they were when I was young.

0:22:25 > 0:22:29Oh, yes, they are, with their hair and their thoughts, and...

0:22:29 > 0:22:31It's really time you settled down.

0:22:31 > 0:22:34Found a nice girl and settled down.

0:22:34 > 0:22:35I'll do what I can, OK?

0:22:35 > 0:22:37But listen, in the meantime,

0:22:37 > 0:22:40I have some amazing new information on the search.

0:22:40 > 0:22:42You know, it's great to have a hobby, Tommy.

0:22:42 > 0:22:44All right, you can look at it.

0:22:44 > 0:22:45- It very pretty. - What's this now?

0:22:45 > 0:22:48- Squiggle, squiggle. - Squiggle indeed.- What's this about?

0:22:48 > 0:22:51It's a birth certificate for Mr Charles Chadwick,

0:22:51 > 0:22:53my great-great-grandfather, your great-grandfather.

0:22:53 > 0:22:55We went to his gravestone.

0:22:55 > 0:22:56Can I just show Dad for a second?

0:22:56 > 0:22:58You can look at the squiggles in a second.

0:22:58 > 0:23:00Turns out he wasn't born in England.

0:23:00 > 0:23:02Check out where he was born.

0:23:03 > 0:23:06- Greensboro, Maryland? - He's American!

0:23:06 > 0:23:09- The USA? - We are American.

0:23:09 > 0:23:11- I'm a Yank?- Another reason for you to hate the French.

0:23:13 > 0:23:16TRADITIONAL GREEK MUSIC PLAYS

0:23:30 > 0:23:33Bravo, bravo.

0:23:38 > 0:23:41MAN SPEAKS IN GREEK

0:23:49 > 0:23:52...Bea Chadwick and Monk!

0:23:54 > 0:23:56Hello.

0:23:56 > 0:23:57Thank you.

0:23:57 > 0:24:00Thank you very much.

0:24:00 > 0:24:02Hello, everybody. Thank you so much for having us.

0:24:02 > 0:24:04What a beautiful wedding.

0:24:04 > 0:24:08I'm going to introduce you to my oldest friend,

0:24:08 > 0:24:09and he's a talking monkey.

0:24:09 > 0:24:11Monkey?

0:24:11 > 0:24:12Here he is.

0:24:12 > 0:24:15And he speaks. Say hello.

0:24:15 > 0:24:16- Hello. - There we are.

0:24:16 > 0:24:20So, you look very beautiful.

0:24:20 > 0:24:22Yes. What's that money stuck to her dress?

0:24:22 > 0:24:24- That's unusual.- Yes.

0:24:24 > 0:24:26Kind of like a stripper. Good Lord.

0:24:26 > 0:24:29- That's half of Greece's economy. - Thank you.

0:24:29 > 0:24:32So, let's just chat a little. This is a Greek wedding.

0:24:32 > 0:24:35- Indeed. - And it's nice to see you here,

0:24:35 > 0:24:37despite the economic downfall.

0:24:37 > 0:24:39I hear that the suicide rates

0:24:39 > 0:24:42are really climbing in Greece right now.

0:24:42 > 0:24:44But you're going to have a lovely time,

0:24:44 > 0:24:46I hope, this evening.

0:24:46 > 0:24:48And it's lovely to see the monk there at the back.

0:24:48 > 0:24:50Not that we're fans of religion.

0:24:50 > 0:24:51No, not really.

0:24:51 > 0:24:53- No.- I think religion is responsible

0:24:53 > 0:24:55for so many atrocities in this world.

0:24:55 > 0:24:58But this one seems to me fairly innocuous.

0:24:58 > 0:25:01You say that, but all ancient religious dogma

0:25:01 > 0:25:03has its effects.

0:25:03 > 0:25:05Not to mention female circumcision.

0:25:05 > 0:25:07Yes, which is awful, so...

0:25:07 > 0:25:09So, yeah, enough of that.

0:25:09 > 0:25:12And...oh, gosh. I feel a bit funny.

0:25:12 > 0:25:14- You feeling OK? - I feel a little bit strange.

0:25:14 > 0:25:17Thank you so much, the bride and groom.

0:25:17 > 0:25:18Thank you. Bye-bye.

0:25:21 > 0:25:23I think it went well.

0:25:23 > 0:25:26- Well, you know, not well. - Not well at all.

0:25:26 > 0:25:30But certainly for a first gig...

0:25:30 > 0:25:32Or for any gig.

0:25:32 > 0:25:34It was a total and outright failure.

0:25:34 > 0:25:37I think it...no, I don't think so.

0:25:37 > 0:25:40I mean, looking out at all the faces, the happy faces...

0:25:40 > 0:25:43They weren't happy faces. God, she's in denial.

0:25:43 > 0:25:48I felt...no, but they were happy as a family, it seemed.

0:25:48 > 0:25:49What do you mean?

0:25:49 > 0:25:52Well, it just felt like to be in a room

0:25:52 > 0:25:54with such a big family, it sort of felt

0:25:54 > 0:25:56that maybe Tom's onto the right track

0:25:56 > 0:25:58looking into family. I don't know.

0:25:58 > 0:26:02Well, what do you think he'll achieve?

0:26:02 > 0:26:05Well, maybe we'll feel some sort of...connection.

0:26:05 > 0:26:09I don't know. I don't know. It just struck me.

0:26:13 > 0:26:15I need a drink.

0:26:15 > 0:26:17Yeah, let's get a drink.

0:26:18 > 0:26:23# When I found you, I found myself

0:26:23 > 0:26:27# I was going to love you like nobody else

0:26:27 > 0:26:31# But I never really had a clue

0:26:31 > 0:26:35# How to love a girl like you

0:26:35 > 0:26:41# Two true believers, we devised

0:26:41 > 0:26:45# A temporary paradise

0:26:45 > 0:26:49# Now our future's in the past

0:26:49 > 0:26:52# I should have known

0:26:52 > 0:26:56# It wouldn't last

0:26:56 > 0:26:59# I should have been a better man

0:26:59 > 0:27:04# You could have been a better friend

0:27:04 > 0:27:08# I'm alone, but that's OK

0:27:08 > 0:27:10# I guess the dice

0:27:10 > 0:27:15# Just rolled that way. #

0:27:15 > 0:27:18Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd