0:00:02 > 0:00:05- What are you doing?- Getting my DNA. - Could we be related?
0:00:07 > 0:00:11- ..Turn right on a red!- Be polite to the lady who you just rear-ended!
0:00:12 > 0:00:15- I can't wait to see you.- I'm looking forward to seeing you, man!
0:00:15 > 0:00:18I've decided to come out with Pete and visit you in LA.
0:00:18 > 0:00:22I have this product called Flush, it's like an enema.
0:00:22 > 0:00:23It's like an anal milkshake.
0:00:23 > 0:00:25Charles lived in Washington DC
0:00:25 > 0:00:27and he fell in love with Rebecca who was in Virginia.
0:00:27 > 0:00:32- To get through enemy lines, they eloped.- That is so sweet.
0:00:32 > 0:00:34Yeah, that's one explanation.
0:00:37 > 0:00:42"To have said, 'She is of mixed blood and therefore outside the purview of our class,'
0:00:42 > 0:00:44"stirs the most foul emotions within me.
0:00:44 > 0:00:49"We must therefore leave this wretched place and marry in a new land..."
0:00:49 > 0:00:52- He's talking about Britain. - Right.- "...which welcomes us.
0:00:52 > 0:00:54"I will love you always..."
0:00:54 > 0:00:56- Aw.- Aw.
0:00:56 > 0:01:00"..for you are my sweet M... Mojave girl."
0:01:00 > 0:01:02- Mojave girl?- Mojave, Mojave.
0:01:02 > 0:01:04- Mojave? - Is that...? That means...
0:01:04 > 0:01:06No, no, no. That's Mo-HAVE..
0:01:06 > 0:01:07The J is a "ha."
0:01:07 > 0:01:10Mojave, that's...that's a desert up north. The Mojave Desert.
0:01:10 > 0:01:13You know what? It's also a Native American tribe.
0:01:14 > 0:01:16She's an Indian.
0:01:16 > 0:01:18Look at that.
0:01:18 > 0:01:20Wow.
0:01:20 > 0:01:23She's so Indian.
0:01:23 > 0:01:25On that horse and everything.
0:01:25 > 0:01:28- Yeah.- You know what's weird? That makes so much sense.
0:01:28 > 0:01:31I've always felt Indian.
0:01:31 > 0:01:33I can see that.
0:01:33 > 0:01:35I've got senses.
0:01:35 > 0:01:39You know, I can feel vibrations.
0:01:39 > 0:01:42- Like under the earth?- Yeah. I feel them all the time.
0:01:42 > 0:01:45I live close to the Underground, so it might be that.
0:01:45 > 0:01:48- But I feel even when... I feel stuff.- Wow.
0:01:48 > 0:01:51How Indian is that? What's more Indian than that?
0:01:51 > 0:01:54That's really cool. She's beautiful. DOORBELL RINGS
0:01:54 > 0:01:56Oh, you know what? I've got to go. I have a client coming.
0:01:56 > 0:01:59Hey, why don't you stay? I could use the help.
0:01:59 > 0:02:00And I can teach you how to do it.
0:02:00 > 0:02:02I'm gonna give her a tiny flush, not a big one.
0:02:02 > 0:02:05- She's legally blind. She won't even know you're here.- Flippin' hell.
0:02:05 > 0:02:07- That sounds...- Great!- ..really fun.
0:02:07 > 0:02:09- Yeah.- Um...- I'd love to show you.
0:02:09 > 0:02:11But I'm so late to the thing that I have to do.
0:02:16 > 0:02:19- Hey, buddy.- Hi there.- Mark Kelly.
0:02:19 > 0:02:20- Tom Chadwick.- Hey, Tom.
0:02:20 > 0:02:22Nice to meet you.
0:02:22 > 0:02:24- Oh, she's a beauty.- So wide.
0:02:24 > 0:02:25- I like it.- And beautiful.
0:02:25 > 0:02:27- It's...- Uh-oh.
0:02:29 > 0:02:32- A lot of damage there on the passenger seat.- Here in this area?
0:02:32 > 0:02:35This general area where there's a spring coming out.
0:02:35 > 0:02:38Don't let this hold you back from this. That's all I'm saying.
0:02:38 > 0:02:41I'm just worried that it would come ap... Whoa! What's that smell?
0:02:41 > 0:02:45- Rose water.- God, it gets stronger once you notice it, doesn't it?
0:02:45 > 0:02:49When you're going 60 miles per hour down PCH with your beautiful blonde,
0:02:49 > 0:02:51are you gonna be smelling the...? No.
0:02:51 > 0:02:55Look at that one. Is that...? That's egg free, right?
0:02:55 > 0:02:57Hoo hoo hoo. Now, that's a car.
0:02:57 > 0:03:00- This is the one I was going to show you earlier.- Oh, wow!
0:03:00 > 0:03:02- And then you got stuck on the... - So red.
0:03:02 > 0:03:03TOM KNOCKS ON CAR
0:03:03 > 0:03:05How about that?
0:03:05 > 0:03:07- What is that? Is that iron? - It's a metal, sure.
0:03:07 > 0:03:10- Whoo, and fancy.- Eldorado.- What does that mean?- The whole thing, golden.
0:03:10 > 0:03:12- This is bigger than my flat.- Flat.
0:03:12 > 0:03:15You know, if I was to drive this...
0:03:15 > 0:03:17- Oh!- Whoo. People would be like, "That guy..."
0:03:17 > 0:03:20- Women.- What kind of price are we talking about here?
0:03:20 > 0:03:22- How long were you planning on renting it?- Couple of weeks.
0:03:22 > 0:03:26- Couple of weeks? - Couple of weeks. Good driver.- OK.
0:03:26 > 0:03:27- How's that?- Oh!
0:03:27 > 0:03:31- That's expensive. That seems... I don't want to buy it.- Well, we're...
0:03:31 > 0:03:34- Right, no. We're negotiating. That's fine.- Will you be the only driver?
0:03:34 > 0:03:37- Yeah. Yeah, it'll probably just be me.- How's that?
0:03:37 > 0:03:40- That's more expensive than the first number.- OK.
0:03:40 > 0:03:41That was just...
0:03:41 > 0:03:43We're gonna make this work.
0:03:43 > 0:03:44This is a very good price.
0:03:44 > 0:03:47Uh... I can live with that.
0:03:47 > 0:03:48- Yes?- I shouldn't, but that's OK.
0:03:48 > 0:03:51- Ay-yi-yi.- Good deal! Oh, but look! Look at the red!
0:03:51 > 0:03:52- I know!- Look at the red.
0:03:52 > 0:03:55So Bea and Pete get in tomorrow
0:03:55 > 0:03:58and I think they are gonna be blown away
0:03:58 > 0:04:01by my automobile of choice.
0:04:01 > 0:04:04I spent a little bit more on it than I probably would have wanted to,
0:04:04 > 0:04:06but I want them to have a good time.
0:04:06 > 0:04:09You know? And an impressive car is part of that.
0:04:11 > 0:04:14Also, Ally called and we're going for lunch today...
0:04:14 > 0:04:16which is nice.
0:04:17 > 0:04:20I imagine that it's not a date.
0:04:20 > 0:04:22It's not like a...
0:04:22 > 0:04:24I'd say she just wants to thank me
0:04:24 > 0:04:27for standing up for her in the accident.
0:04:31 > 0:04:33- Hey, there.- Wow.
0:04:35 > 0:04:36She's a beauty, huh?
0:04:36 > 0:04:38Yeah.
0:04:38 > 0:04:41- It's a she, right?- You know what? I haven't looked under the hood.
0:04:41 > 0:04:43But it's stubborn, so...
0:04:43 > 0:04:45I'm kidding. You look nice.
0:04:45 > 0:04:50Thank you. It's a new outfit.
0:04:50 > 0:04:52- It's new?- Yeah.- It suits you. - Thanks.
0:04:52 > 0:04:55I mean, I haven't seen it on anyone else, but it does suit...
0:04:55 > 0:04:57- Do you wanna have some lunch? - Yeah.
0:04:57 > 0:04:59I wanted to make you comfortable,
0:04:59 > 0:05:02so I was thinking we could hit that place right over there.
0:05:02 > 0:05:05- Oh, come on.- Maybe you know somebody in there.
0:05:05 > 0:05:08You know what's weird is I was conceived in a place just like that.
0:05:08 > 0:05:09- Really?- Yeah.
0:05:09 > 0:05:11Let's do it.
0:05:11 > 0:05:13I mean, I should have known
0:05:13 > 0:05:15when I asked him how good the corned beef was.
0:05:15 > 0:05:18When he said, "It's corned beef?"
0:05:18 > 0:05:20That should have been my clue.
0:05:21 > 0:05:24So how long have you been in LA?
0:05:24 > 0:05:25- Three years.- Oh.
0:05:25 > 0:05:27Yeah. I moved from Connecticut.
0:05:27 > 0:05:30- Right.- With my boyfriend.- Right.
0:05:32 > 0:05:36And then... Well, I just moved out of our place.
0:05:36 > 0:05:39- Oh.- We're going our separate ways.
0:05:39 > 0:05:40- Oh.- Yeah.
0:05:40 > 0:05:44I moved out thinking that I would be inspired out here.
0:05:44 > 0:05:46I write. I'm a writer.
0:05:46 > 0:05:49- Oh, wow.- Well, I don't make my living as a writer.
0:05:49 > 0:05:51I work at a bookstore.
0:05:51 > 0:05:53That's the same, isn't it?
0:05:53 > 0:05:55No, it's really not the same.
0:05:55 > 0:05:59Well, you know, it's not like you're a writer and working in SeaWorld.
0:05:59 > 0:06:01And you do what?
0:06:01 > 0:06:04Well, actually, I'm tracing my family tree.
0:06:04 > 0:06:06- Oh.- Which is really fun.
0:06:06 > 0:06:09I kind of got dragged into it,
0:06:09 > 0:06:13and now I'm meeting all these interesting...
0:06:13 > 0:06:17and fairly close to mentally unstable relatives.
0:06:17 > 0:06:19But I'm really enjoying it.
0:06:19 > 0:06:21And you know what? I hate to be a buzzkill,
0:06:21 > 0:06:25but I've actually got a meeting, a genealogical meeting.
0:06:25 > 0:06:26Oh, I'm sorry. I'm keeping you.
0:06:26 > 0:06:29No, no, no. That's OK. It's just time crept up on us.
0:06:29 > 0:06:31Hey, listen, you can finish this.
0:06:31 > 0:06:34Uh, yeah. Maybe it's better as leftovers.
0:06:34 > 0:06:37- But I have your number now. - Yeah. So call... Oh.
0:06:37 > 0:06:40- Sorry. European.- Didn't expect that.
0:06:41 > 0:06:45Um, next time, I'll bring you to the Irish yogurt place.
0:06:46 > 0:06:48OK, bye-bye.
0:06:50 > 0:06:53As dates go, that was pretty good.
0:06:53 > 0:06:55We chatted and laughed a bit.
0:06:55 > 0:06:57I mean, it can't go anywhere.
0:06:57 > 0:06:59I'm leaving in a couple of weeks, but it's...
0:06:59 > 0:07:02it's good to get back on the horse, you know?
0:07:02 > 0:07:04Not that she's a horse.
0:07:04 > 0:07:06I mean...
0:07:06 > 0:07:09If anything, she's like a little pony.
0:07:09 > 0:07:12And I'm the stable boy
0:07:12 > 0:07:14offering her some of my carrot.
0:07:14 > 0:07:17I'd better go into this now. We're running pretty late.
0:07:17 > 0:07:19- Here you go, Mr Chadwick. - Oh, great.
0:07:19 > 0:07:22- There.- So this is the marriage certificate?
0:07:22 > 0:07:24- Yes.- Lovely stuff.
0:07:24 > 0:07:28Ah, Charles Chadwick and Rebecca.
0:07:28 > 0:07:30She doesn't have a last name.
0:07:30 > 0:07:33Uh, let's see. This is 1865.
0:07:33 > 0:07:35A lot of times, they would just omit the last name
0:07:35 > 0:07:37if it was a difficult last name to spell.
0:07:37 > 0:07:40- They would leave it out if they couldn't spell it?- Yeah.
0:07:40 > 0:07:42Native Americans, that was a tradition.
0:07:42 > 0:07:44- They would just leave it out. - Right.
0:07:44 > 0:07:47- Sacagawea. - That makes sense, actually.
0:07:47 > 0:07:51Yeah, I'm getting a lot of Indian in what I'm finding out.
0:07:51 > 0:07:53Oh, yeah?
0:07:53 > 0:07:55They were married in Barstow.
0:07:55 > 0:07:56Where is that?
0:07:56 > 0:07:59That's about halfway to Las Vegas.
0:07:59 > 0:08:02- Ooh. - Right next to the Mojave Desert.
0:08:02 > 0:08:06Right. "My sweet Mojave girl."
0:08:06 > 0:08:07- Are you talking to me?- No, sorry.
0:08:07 > 0:08:09I read... There's a letter between them.
0:08:09 > 0:08:12He calls her his sweet Mojave girl.
0:08:12 > 0:08:13Oh, OK.
0:08:13 > 0:08:16You know, there probably is a Mojave Indian reservation out there.
0:08:16 > 0:08:19- Might be the connection... - Yeah, it's all coming together.
0:08:19 > 0:08:20- Yeah.- This is so helpful.
0:08:20 > 0:08:22- Thank you.- And very exciting, huh?
0:08:22 > 0:08:25Yeah, it's... I don't know where this is gonna lead.
0:08:25 > 0:08:28- Oh, probably something really special.- Yeah.
0:08:28 > 0:08:31With some turquoise.
0:08:31 > 0:08:33- What?- Traditional stone...
0:08:33 > 0:08:35- Oh!- ..of Native Americans.
0:08:35 > 0:08:37You are a mine of information.
0:08:37 > 0:08:39You are welcome, Mr Chadwick.
0:08:48 > 0:08:50How do you feel after that Jacuzzi?
0:08:50 > 0:08:53That was amazing. I've never seen a Jacuzzi in someone's house before.
0:08:53 > 0:08:54You don't have one in your flat?
0:08:54 > 0:08:57No. We've got baths, but they're not... That's impressive.
0:08:57 > 0:08:58- Hey!- Hello!
0:08:58 > 0:09:00Whoa!
0:09:00 > 0:09:01Here he comes. All right?
0:09:01 > 0:09:03- Hi, guys. Hiya, Bea. - Hey, Tom. We made it.
0:09:03 > 0:09:05- I missed ya. Hiya, Monk.- Me, too.
0:09:05 > 0:09:08- Oi, oi, saveloy.- All right? - How are you?- I'm good.
0:09:08 > 0:09:11- Your cousins are sick, man. They've got a Jacuzzi.- Yeah.
0:09:11 > 0:09:12I've already been in it.
0:09:12 > 0:09:15- Yeah, I can see your shorts are wet...- Straightaway.
0:09:15 > 0:09:17- ..on the chair.- I thought you were coming tomorrow.
0:09:17 > 0:09:19- What's...?- He got it wrong.
0:09:19 > 0:09:22He thought with the time difference that we'd lose a day. Idiot.
0:09:22 > 0:09:23Well, yeah, cos when you come from...
0:09:23 > 0:09:27Yeah, when you come from England to America, you...
0:09:27 > 0:09:29- Is it you miss a day? - Other way. Other way.
0:09:29 > 0:09:31- No, you take away a day. You take a day back.- No.
0:09:31 > 0:09:33Not a day. Eight hours is not...
0:09:33 > 0:09:35It's time travel.
0:09:35 > 0:09:38My favourite saying is, "What's crazier than a time zone?"
0:09:38 > 0:09:40Nothing.
0:09:40 > 0:09:42- No idea what it means.- Yeah.
0:09:42 > 0:09:45Hey, well, we've been having a great time, finding out a lot of stuff.
0:09:45 > 0:09:47Today I found out... How exciting is this?
0:09:47 > 0:09:51..we are Native American.
0:09:51 > 0:09:54- No way.- Yeah.- Is that Indians? - That is kind of Indians, yeah.
0:09:54 > 0:09:56- For real? We are?- Yeah.
0:09:56 > 0:09:58That explains my hair.
0:09:58 > 0:10:00That's the first thing that I thought of, too.
0:10:00 > 0:10:03- Pocahontas.- Yeah.- Yeah.
0:10:03 > 0:10:06And so I'm gonna go up to the Mojave Desert. You should come.
0:10:06 > 0:10:10And we could just see what we can snuff out.
0:10:10 > 0:10:11I have a patient lives in Barstow.
0:10:11 > 0:10:14Isn't that the Mojave Desert? Yes, right.
0:10:14 > 0:10:16Doris. She's a Native American
0:10:16 > 0:10:19and she can put you in touch with the Native American elders
0:10:19 > 0:10:21and trace your family line there.
0:10:21 > 0:10:24- That would be terrific.- Yeah.
0:10:24 > 0:10:25She's a patient of yours?
0:10:25 > 0:10:27Oh, yeah. She's got very bad feet.
0:10:27 > 0:10:29For years. I shouldn't talk about a patient.
0:10:29 > 0:10:31- Go on.- But she does.
0:10:31 > 0:10:34Her feet have more problems... More problems.
0:10:34 > 0:10:36Oh, my God. Hammertoes. It's from the moccasins.
0:10:36 > 0:10:39And all the hopping they do. The dancing and all that.
0:10:39 > 0:10:41A dance injury.
0:10:41 > 0:10:43And they don't breathe and you can get... You get athlete's foot.
0:10:43 > 0:10:45- Oh, you had that. - That was herpes.
0:10:47 > 0:10:49That was a very long flight.
0:10:49 > 0:10:52'Yeah, I'm a little worried I've got deep vein thrombosis.'
0:10:52 > 0:10:54Why would you have that?
0:10:54 > 0:10:56'Well, I wasn't wearing surgical stockings.'
0:10:56 > 0:10:59Well, yeah, but they don't make them in your size.
0:10:59 > 0:11:02But it was just very difficult to be with Pete for that long.
0:11:02 > 0:11:04'Such close quarters.'
0:11:04 > 0:11:06With him hitting on the stewardesses.
0:11:06 > 0:11:07'Yes, he's obnoxious.
0:11:07 > 0:11:10'You must regret the night you spent with him.'
0:11:10 > 0:11:12I don't know what you're talking about.
0:11:12 > 0:11:15I didn't spend a night with Pete. What a thought.
0:11:15 > 0:11:16'And she still likes him.'
0:11:18 > 0:11:20'You do.'
0:11:21 > 0:11:23Do I?
0:11:23 > 0:11:25'Yeah.'
0:11:25 > 0:11:27I didn't know that.
0:11:41 > 0:11:43Whoa, look.
0:11:43 > 0:11:45- Yes.- Wow, look.
0:11:45 > 0:11:47- A tepee.- Souvenirs.
0:11:49 > 0:11:50Whoa.
0:11:50 > 0:11:53- Hey.- Ya'at'eeh.
0:11:53 > 0:11:54- Ya...- Ya'at'eeh.
0:11:54 > 0:11:56- Ya'at'eeh. - That's "hello" in Navajo.
0:11:56 > 0:11:58- Is that?- Ya'at'eeh. Hello there.
0:11:58 > 0:11:59- How do you do?- Hi.
0:11:59 > 0:12:01- Wow!- This is all authentic.
0:12:01 > 0:12:02- Tomahawk.- Great choice.
0:12:02 > 0:12:06Me Big Chief Crouching Tiger Hidden Bull.
0:12:06 > 0:12:07Yeah? Sure, you are.
0:12:07 > 0:12:10- Arigato.- De nada.
0:12:10 > 0:12:12Yeah, this is great.
0:12:12 > 0:12:15- That is great. - So this is an actual tomahawk?
0:12:15 > 0:12:18- This was used in the Fourth Battle of Tucson.- Sod off.
0:12:18 > 0:12:19- Furry cup.- Ah!
0:12:19 > 0:12:22Ah, furry cup. Drink from the furry cup.
0:12:22 > 0:12:24Cos that's what the lesbians...
0:12:24 > 0:12:27What I like about it is that they've used all of the animal.
0:12:27 > 0:12:30All of it, yeah. Most of it's in the handle.
0:12:30 > 0:12:32Right, you're holding its foot
0:12:32 > 0:12:34- and drinking from its leg.- Yeah.
0:12:34 > 0:12:37- Well, this looks amazing. - Oh, look at that.
0:12:37 > 0:12:39- Look at that.- That looks terrific.
0:12:39 > 0:12:40'Check it out.'
0:12:40 > 0:12:42Hey there, pal. That looks terrific.
0:12:42 > 0:12:44'It does? I don't look like a lady?'
0:12:44 > 0:12:47I'll tell you something interesting about this piece here.
0:12:47 > 0:12:49This was found outside of Hogan near Canyon de Chelly.
0:12:49 > 0:12:52- Right.- A very, very important part of Navajo culture
0:12:52 > 0:12:55- and apparently owned by the grandmother of Pocahontas.- Wow.- Yeah.
0:12:55 > 0:12:57'The genuine article...
0:12:57 > 0:12:59'in your shop and not a museum.'
0:12:59 > 0:13:02- Ooh, matching shoes.- Ah, yes.
0:13:02 > 0:13:04- What about those? Huh?- Perfect choice.
0:13:04 > 0:13:07- This is what my ancestors would have worn.- That's right. That's right.
0:13:07 > 0:13:10- This is actual yak hide.- Yak hide?
0:13:10 > 0:13:13You put those on, you're gonna want to go on a walkabout.
0:13:13 > 0:13:14- Oh, great. I love to walk.- Yeah.
0:13:21 > 0:13:23Yee-haw!
0:13:23 > 0:13:26Yeah, boy.
0:13:28 > 0:13:31This is it? Hey.
0:13:31 > 0:13:34- You made it. - Yeah, sorry for keeping you.
0:13:34 > 0:13:36- No worries. John Smith. - Tom Chadwick.
0:13:36 > 0:13:38- Dr Al's cousin?- That's right, yeah.
0:13:38 > 0:13:41Is he doing a good job on your granny's fallen arches?
0:13:41 > 0:13:44Yeah, yeah. They're doing a lot better. Thanks for asking, though.
0:13:44 > 0:13:45This is my friend Pete.
0:13:45 > 0:13:47- Pete.- Hiya. Hey.
0:13:47 > 0:13:51I was expecting more feathers up the back or a grass skirt or a tomahawk.
0:13:51 > 0:13:53- This is my sister Bea.- Whoo-whoo!
0:13:53 > 0:13:58- Hello. How are you?- Hi, Bea. It's a pleasure.- 'What a fine man you are.'
0:13:58 > 0:14:00All right, let...let's head up to the reservation.
0:14:00 > 0:14:02The reservation. Ring, ring.
0:14:02 > 0:14:04Is that my local Indian?
0:14:04 > 0:14:06- Reservation for four, please. - Let's go.
0:14:12 > 0:14:15'Watson, what do you make of this?
0:14:16 > 0:14:18'It looks rather like blood, Holmes.
0:14:18 > 0:14:21'Yes, but the blood of what, Watson?
0:14:21 > 0:14:24- 'Do you remember our encounter with the Plaxians?'- Hello? >
0:14:24 > 0:14:25Ah-ha-ha.
0:14:25 > 0:14:28- Hello there.- Shh.
0:14:28 > 0:14:31'This, I believe, is Plaxian blood.
0:14:31 > 0:14:34'I thought you said they were bloodless, Holmes.
0:14:34 > 0:14:36'Indeed. That is what I thought at the time.'
0:14:36 > 0:14:40This one's brilliant. Watson gets killed by the Plaxians and dies.
0:14:40 > 0:14:43But he's not really dead. He comes back for...
0:14:43 > 0:14:46This is the last in the series. The season finale.
0:14:46 > 0:14:47SWITCHES TV OFF
0:14:47 > 0:14:50This is old. I thought they had seen this.
0:14:50 > 0:14:53- Thanks a pantload.- Sorry.
0:14:53 > 0:14:55Tom, Bea, Pete,
0:14:55 > 0:14:59this is Chief Running Bull and White Feather, our tribal shaman.
0:14:59 > 0:15:01- How are you doing? - Hello, Chief Running Bull.
0:15:01 > 0:15:03- Hi. Tom.- Hi.
0:15:03 > 0:15:04- Hello.- Mr Feather.
0:15:04 > 0:15:06- Hi, White Feather.- Hello.
0:15:06 > 0:15:09I gotta take off. I'm gonna leave you guys to it.
0:15:09 > 0:15:11- Thanks, John.- Have a good time. - Thanks.
0:15:11 > 0:15:15Well, what...what can we do for you, Tom?
0:15:15 > 0:15:18So, you don't live in the, um...
0:15:19 > 0:15:21Wigwams.
0:15:22 > 0:15:24No, we don't. I have a condo in town.
0:15:24 > 0:15:27He's got a house out in the valley there.
0:15:27 > 0:15:29'And why not? You deserve it.'
0:15:29 > 0:15:32You think there's any chance we can have a look around the reservation?
0:15:32 > 0:15:34- I can do that for you, yeah. - Terrific.
0:15:34 > 0:15:36Try and find out something about my roots.
0:15:36 > 0:15:40- Roots?- I have Indian roots... uh, Native American roots.
0:15:40 > 0:15:43Well, I could... I could show you around, yeah.
0:15:43 > 0:15:45That would be terrific.
0:15:47 > 0:15:48Beautiful, isn't it?
0:15:48 > 0:15:50Oh, my goodness gracious.
0:15:50 > 0:15:53You know, Mr Bull, do you think it would be possible
0:15:53 > 0:15:56for us to get Indian names?
0:15:56 > 0:15:57- Yes.- Yeah.
0:15:58 > 0:16:01Well, uh, we don't normally do that.
0:16:01 > 0:16:04You have to earn a name or...
0:16:04 > 0:16:08Just for fun. You know, while we're here in the place.
0:16:08 > 0:16:11I don't see any harm in it, I guess, yeah.
0:16:11 > 0:16:13You shall be known as...
0:16:15 > 0:16:16..the Tall Man.
0:16:16 > 0:16:18Huh.
0:16:18 > 0:16:21And you shall be known as...
0:16:21 > 0:16:22Boy With A Hat.
0:16:22 > 0:16:24- I do have a lot of hats.- Yeah.
0:16:24 > 0:16:28And you shall be known as the Monkey Woman.
0:16:28 > 0:16:29'Correct.'
0:16:29 > 0:16:31Nice.
0:16:31 > 0:16:33It's fairly literal, really, isn't it? The names.
0:16:33 > 0:16:36- That's what it says on the tin. - Yeah.- It doesn't matter, you see.
0:16:36 > 0:16:40We're all connected in one way or another...
0:16:40 > 0:16:42every molecule, every piece of dirt,
0:16:42 > 0:16:45every bush, every rock.
0:16:45 > 0:16:46We're all one.
0:16:46 > 0:16:49The universe wastes nothing.
0:16:49 > 0:16:50Wow...
0:16:50 > 0:16:52- PHONE RINGS - Shit. Sorry. That's...
0:16:52 > 0:16:54It's me.
0:16:54 > 0:16:56What's that?
0:16:56 > 0:16:58Nothing. Sorry. Go on.
0:16:58 > 0:17:00The universe.
0:17:00 > 0:17:01Could I go horse riding here?
0:17:01 > 0:17:03I can arrange that.
0:17:03 > 0:17:05Follow me.
0:17:05 > 0:17:07Oh, I just never want it to end.
0:17:07 > 0:17:11- I'm glad you're enjoying yourself. - It's fantastic.
0:17:11 > 0:17:13'Are there snakes in these bushes?'
0:17:13 > 0:17:15No, Monkey, there's no snakes here.
0:17:15 > 0:17:19- There's not much of anything around here.- Well, that's good.
0:17:19 > 0:17:22Aw, she's having fun.
0:17:22 > 0:17:24'All the way to Bethlehem, eh?'
0:17:24 > 0:17:26Chief Feather, I've got a question.
0:17:26 > 0:17:28You know, like back in the day
0:17:28 > 0:17:31when there was all the problems with you...
0:17:31 > 0:17:33the Indians and the cowboys...
0:17:33 > 0:17:37is that cos like, when you initially immigrated over from India,
0:17:37 > 0:17:41they thought you were, like, coming over here, taking all their horses
0:17:41 > 0:17:43and touching up their women and taking their jobs?
0:17:43 > 0:17:46I have no idea what you're talking about.
0:17:46 > 0:17:49- Hey.- That was so much fun! - Did you have fun?
0:17:49 > 0:17:51Yeah. 'We've done it all now.'
0:17:51 > 0:17:53That was amazing.
0:17:53 > 0:17:54'That was some white-knuckle shit.
0:17:54 > 0:17:57'Touch and go.' It was great.
0:17:57 > 0:17:58So do we all sit around
0:17:58 > 0:18:02and have a little toke on the old peace pipe now?
0:18:03 > 0:18:06No, we...we don't do that any more.
0:18:06 > 0:18:08Oh, you just stick to the drinking?
0:18:08 > 0:18:09We don't do that either.
0:18:09 > 0:18:11Really?
0:18:11 > 0:18:14So, you guys about ready? You all about set?
0:18:14 > 0:18:17Oh, before I go, I just wanted to show you...
0:18:17 > 0:18:21this photograph of my great-great-grandmother Rebecca.
0:18:21 > 0:18:24I was hoping you might be able to shed some light on it.
0:18:25 > 0:18:27- She's on a horse.- Remember her?
0:18:27 > 0:18:29Maybe Mr Feather might recognise her dress.
0:18:29 > 0:18:32No, but she's a beautiful woman. Yeah.
0:18:32 > 0:18:34She's a handsome lady, isn't she?
0:18:34 > 0:18:37You might try the... The records office in Barstow might help you out.
0:18:37 > 0:18:40I'll do that. Thank you.
0:18:42 > 0:18:44Oh, there it is. There it is.
0:18:44 > 0:18:47OK.
0:18:47 > 0:18:49That's it.
0:18:49 > 0:18:52All right, I shouldn't be too long. Don't touch the car.
0:18:52 > 0:18:54All right, let's go and find out
0:18:54 > 0:18:58- if this hot Indian bird's your real - mom. That's not... Ugh.- Ugh.
0:18:58 > 0:19:01- Get us some fizzy pop. - 'Don't leave me alone with him.'
0:19:01 > 0:19:03- Or some sweeties. - 'Some cashew nuts.'
0:19:03 > 0:19:04Not cashew nuts.
0:19:04 > 0:19:07'Not for you, dick splat.'
0:19:07 > 0:19:09Come on, spunk.
0:19:10 > 0:19:12Hello.
0:19:12 > 0:19:14- Hi.- Hi.
0:19:14 > 0:19:15Um...
0:19:15 > 0:19:18Hi, my name is Tom Chadwick.
0:19:18 > 0:19:20I'm looking for some information...
0:19:20 > 0:19:23about this swarthy young lady.
0:19:23 > 0:19:27Uh, her name is Rebecca Chadwick.
0:19:27 > 0:19:32She's from Barstow and she's my great-great-grandmother.
0:19:32 > 0:19:37- This is all you have, just this picture?- And her name.
0:19:37 > 0:19:39- She looks Native American. - She is, actually.
0:19:39 > 0:19:41She's an Indian. We all are.
0:19:41 > 0:19:43I Tall Man.
0:19:46 > 0:19:52Um, well, we don't really have pictures and records like this here.
0:19:52 > 0:19:54In the record office, there's no... Right.
0:19:54 > 0:19:57You should probably go and talk to Marty.
0:19:57 > 0:19:59Marty Schmelff. Marty knows everything.
0:19:59 > 0:20:01Sorry, you said Marty Schmelff?
0:20:01 > 0:20:05Yeah, the Schmelff family. They've been in Barstow over 100 years...
0:20:05 > 0:20:06Whoo.
0:20:06 > 0:20:10..and I have always suspected that his family used to own my family.
0:20:11 > 0:20:13But they don't any more?
0:20:13 > 0:20:15No.
0:20:15 > 0:20:17Good for you.
0:20:18 > 0:20:21Schmelff, Marty Schmelff. Owns a store just down the way.
0:20:21 > 0:20:23- Brilliant. - Just about a mile on down.
0:20:23 > 0:20:26Hey, thank you so much. That's reasonably helpful.
0:20:26 > 0:20:30- Thank you. OK, bye-bye. - Bye-bye.
0:20:34 > 0:20:37You're an unevolved idiot and I could crush your head like that.
0:20:37 > 0:20:39'Like a testicle talking to me.
0:20:39 > 0:20:41'Vagina face.' What did they say?
0:20:42 > 0:20:44Uh...
0:20:44 > 0:20:46Who do you keep texting?
0:20:46 > 0:20:48Uh, nobody. No, they didn't know anything.
0:20:48 > 0:20:51We need to go somewhere else.
0:20:54 > 0:20:57All right. This must be us.
0:20:57 > 0:21:01Yee-haw! Ride 'em, cowboy.
0:21:01 > 0:21:04'This search gets less and less promising.'
0:21:07 > 0:21:09Welcome! Hello! Hi there.
0:21:09 > 0:21:11I'm looking for Marty Schmelff.
0:21:11 > 0:21:13That's me. I'm Marty Schmelff. Welcome.
0:21:13 > 0:21:16How do you do? I'm Tom Chadwick. This is my sister Bea.
0:21:16 > 0:21:18- Hi, Bea. How are you? - Hello. How are you?
0:21:18 > 0:21:20- Pete.- Hi, I'm Pete. I'm his mate. - Hi, Pete.
0:21:20 > 0:21:23Welcome to Schmelff's Dry Goods. What can I do for you?
0:21:23 > 0:21:26We were sent here by the Barstow records woman.
0:21:26 > 0:21:28Sure. Louisa, mm-hmm.
0:21:28 > 0:21:31And she told us that you're quite the authority on all things Barstow.
0:21:31 > 0:21:34- Did she?- Yeah.- Isn't that lovely?
0:21:34 > 0:21:37We're hoping that you might be able to shed some light on this.
0:21:37 > 0:21:39This is my great-great-grandmother.
0:21:39 > 0:21:41I don't know whether you recognise that...
0:21:43 > 0:21:44This...
0:21:44 > 0:21:46I mean...
0:21:46 > 0:21:48Really? Your great-great-grandmother?
0:21:48 > 0:21:49That's right.
0:21:49 > 0:21:51You should come with me.
0:21:51 > 0:21:53This is astounding.
0:21:53 > 0:21:55You say this is your great-great-grandmother?
0:21:55 > 0:21:57- Yeah.- How about this?
0:21:57 > 0:21:59- Oh!- Oh, my God!
0:21:59 > 0:22:01- That's Rebecca... - Same woman.- That's her.
0:22:01 > 0:22:04..with her family - younger brother David Schmelff,
0:22:04 > 0:22:08father Eli, Naomi... originally Naomi Flubb...
0:22:08 > 0:22:11and then Schmuel Schmelff, my great-great-granddad,
0:22:11 > 0:22:14who started the dry goods business here in Barstow. The Schmelffs.
0:22:14 > 0:22:18- Schmelffs?- Your family. - That sounds very Jewishy.
0:22:18 > 0:22:21- Well, it's completely Jewish. - Oh, it is?- Oh, yeah. Schmelffs.
0:22:21 > 0:22:24I mean, that's Jewish.
0:22:24 > 0:22:25Holy shit.
0:22:25 > 0:22:27- You're a Jew.- 'I love Jesus.'
0:22:27 > 0:22:30- A tremendous Jew, Jesus.- Yeah.
0:22:30 > 0:22:33- So we're related?- We're related! Mishpucha!- Oh, mishpucha to you.
0:22:33 > 0:22:36- Yes.- Yeah. I have a wonderful surprise.
0:22:36 > 0:22:39There's a celebrity in the family, a movie star from the 1920s.
0:22:39 > 0:22:43Your great-uncle Ezra Schmelff was a film star.
0:22:43 > 0:22:46- Tumbleweed Tim.- Oh, a better name. - How about that?
0:22:46 > 0:22:50I think there's a resemblance. Hold up your left hand. Show your friends.
0:22:50 > 0:22:52- No.- Hold the hand up and smile.
0:22:52 > 0:22:55- Oh, more teeth.- That's uncanny. - Spooky.
0:22:55 > 0:22:57I don't see the resemblance now that I'm holding it up.
0:22:57 > 0:22:59Your great-uncle Ezra.
0:22:59 > 0:23:01The Schmelff.
0:23:09 > 0:23:12Howdy.
0:23:12 > 0:23:13PHONE RINGS
0:23:17 > 0:23:18Hello?
0:23:18 > 0:23:20- Hello, Tommy?- Aw, hey.
0:23:20 > 0:23:23There's a sound for sore ears.
0:23:23 > 0:23:25I'm sorry to call you so late. I just got in.
0:23:25 > 0:23:28But I picked up your mail and I think you've got your DNA results.
0:23:28 > 0:23:31- You want me to open it? - Oh, that's great.
0:23:31 > 0:23:33- Will you have a little look?- I will.
0:23:33 > 0:23:34Here we go.
0:23:34 > 0:23:36Got it.
0:23:36 > 0:23:38Did you just sniff it?
0:23:38 > 0:23:39How did you know?
0:23:39 > 0:23:41I could hear you sniffing it.
0:23:41 > 0:23:43Smells of haddock.
0:23:43 > 0:23:47OK, well, it's very long. You want me to read you the whole thing?
0:23:47 > 0:23:49No, no, no. Hey, will you just have a look
0:23:49 > 0:23:52and see if it says I have Native American blood?
0:23:52 > 0:23:54Uh, here we go.
0:23:54 > 0:23:57"Regional affiliation: French, English, Irish,
0:23:57 > 0:23:59"German, North American,
0:23:59 > 0:24:00"Scottish, Hungarian."
0:24:00 > 0:24:03Nope. Nothing there about Native American.
0:24:03 > 0:24:05Not even a little bit?
0:24:05 > 0:24:09Not even a tiny little incy pincy wincy bit that I can see.
0:24:09 > 0:24:12- Oh, OK.- Absolutely.
0:24:12 > 0:24:13Now you keep well, man. All right?
0:24:13 > 0:24:16Yeah, you, too, buddy. Thank you. Talk soon.
0:24:16 > 0:24:18All right. Bye now.
0:24:18 > 0:24:20Ah, shit.
0:24:29 > 0:24:34So I'm not an Indian, but it turns out that I do have Jewish blood,
0:24:34 > 0:24:37which makes total sense.
0:24:37 > 0:24:40Think about it... a bunch of people
0:24:40 > 0:24:44who travelled thousands of miles
0:24:44 > 0:24:48escaping persecution to secure their identity.
0:24:49 > 0:24:52Hello. Remind you of anyone?
0:24:53 > 0:24:54Me.
0:24:54 > 0:24:58I mean, persecution's a big word.
0:24:58 > 0:25:02But the rush hour commute and the London Underground?
0:25:02 > 0:25:04Whew. Oy vey.
0:25:05 > 0:25:08I do still feel a little bit Indian.
0:25:08 > 0:25:12Mazel tov.
0:25:12 > 0:25:16# When I found you, I found myself
0:25:16 > 0:25:22# I was going to love you like nobody else
0:25:22 > 0:25:26# But I never really had a clue
0:25:26 > 0:25:29# How to love a girl like you
0:25:29 > 0:25:32# Two true believers
0:25:32 > 0:25:35# We devised
0:25:35 > 0:25:39# A temporary paradise
0:25:39 > 0:25:43# Now our future is in the past
0:25:43 > 0:25:47# I should have known
0:25:47 > 0:25:50# It wouldn't last
0:25:50 > 0:25:54# I should have been a better man
0:25:54 > 0:25:59# You could have been a better friend
0:25:59 > 0:26:02# I'm alone, but that's OK
0:26:02 > 0:26:04# I guess the dice
0:26:04 > 0:26:09# Just rolled that way. #