0:00:02 > 0:00:05THIS PROGRAMME CONTAINS SOME STRONG LANGUAGE
0:00:07 > 0:00:10On the show tonight - can it really be him?
0:00:10 > 0:00:12Oh, no, it's Justin Edwards.
0:00:12 > 0:00:16One of the all time great Pippas, Pippa Evans.
0:00:16 > 0:00:21A man who needs no introduction, luckily, it's Greg Davies.
0:00:21 > 0:00:24He's every house husband's choice, Humphrey Ker.
0:00:24 > 0:00:30She's the queen of comedy and the Duchess of Devonshire, Laura Solon.
0:00:30 > 0:00:32And stand well back and wear protective clothing,
0:00:32 > 0:00:35because here's Marek Larwood.
0:00:35 > 0:00:38Finally, would you please welcome your host,
0:00:38 > 0:00:41a man who sounds a lot like me - Hugh Dennis!
0:00:48 > 0:00:51Hello and welcome to the show.
0:00:51 > 0:00:54Tonight we'll be improvising scene sketches and TV spoofs
0:00:54 > 0:00:57and picking our performers' brains on an array of topics,
0:00:57 > 0:00:59so let's play Fast and Loose.
0:01:02 > 0:01:06To kick things off, let's play a game called Job Interviews.
0:01:06 > 0:01:08This is for all our performers,
0:01:08 > 0:01:10so if you could get into the Performance Zone.
0:01:10 > 0:01:14You have to imagine that you've been invited for a job interview.
0:01:14 > 0:01:17We want to hear the most disastrous thing you could say
0:01:17 > 0:01:21to your prospective employer. So, if you're ready, off we go.
0:01:24 > 0:01:28I don't have one of your proper degrees, I don't have any
0:01:28 > 0:01:29of your fancy qualifications,
0:01:29 > 0:01:34because I studied at the University of Leicester!
0:01:36 > 0:01:39APPLAUSE
0:01:39 > 0:01:45Why don't YOU give ME a good example of when you've worked well in a high-pressure environment?!
0:01:47 > 0:01:50Yes, I'm very much a people person.
0:01:50 > 0:01:54In my last job, I drilled a peephole into the girl's toilets.
0:01:56 > 0:01:59I believe very strongly in an open-door policy, which is one
0:01:59 > 0:02:03of the main reasons I'm no longer an air hostess.
0:02:04 > 0:02:07Describe myself in three words?
0:02:07 > 0:02:11OK. Honest, hard-working
0:02:11 > 0:02:13and racist.
0:02:16 > 0:02:20I have got a really good work ethnic.
0:02:20 > 0:02:22Ethic! Ethic!
0:02:25 > 0:02:27Where do I see myself in five years?
0:02:27 > 0:02:31Sitting in your chair, wearing your wife's knickers!
0:02:33 > 0:02:37When have I best displayed my leadership skills?
0:02:37 > 0:02:41Well, I was extremely sexually dominant when I was in prison.
0:02:45 > 0:02:48As an employee, I'm very much like Dolly Parton.
0:02:48 > 0:02:50I work nine to five and I've got massive tits.
0:02:53 > 0:02:57Well, I like to run my departments like I run my marathons.
0:02:57 > 0:03:01So, slowly and dressed as a rhino.
0:03:01 > 0:03:04I've been told to watch my shitting language!
0:03:04 > 0:03:05Oh, fuck!
0:03:07 > 0:03:11I once done 95 words per minute,
0:03:11 > 0:03:15but it involved puking up a bowl of Alphabetti Spaghetti.
0:03:17 > 0:03:22I ain't had no job since I done my paper round,
0:03:22 > 0:03:27but Mr Thompson give me a reference and this is it,
0:03:27 > 0:03:31"Greg is a good lad, but he keeps nicking sweets."
0:03:32 > 0:03:34Well done, one and all.
0:03:40 > 0:03:42It's time to meet our panel properly.
0:03:42 > 0:03:44What better way than the part of the show
0:03:44 > 0:03:46that I'm going to call Fun Fact Time?
0:03:46 > 0:03:48I ask our performers to reveal a fun fact
0:03:48 > 0:03:52about one of their co-performers this evening.
0:03:52 > 0:03:53So, Justin?
0:03:53 > 0:03:57Well, I'm 6ft 5,
0:03:57 > 0:04:00Humphrey is 6ft 6
0:04:00 > 0:04:01and Greg is a pervert.
0:04:07 > 0:04:12I think we realised that from the first game. Greg?
0:04:12 > 0:04:16Marek Larwood's eyes only pop out when he's sexually aroused.
0:04:23 > 0:04:26Hmm... Marek?
0:04:28 > 0:04:32Um, Greg's name is spelled exactly
0:04:32 > 0:04:35the same forwards that it is backwards.
0:04:37 > 0:04:39LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:04:39 > 0:04:41Thank you very much.
0:04:45 > 0:04:48Right, our next game is called Weak Links.
0:04:48 > 0:04:51It involves Justin, Laura, Greg and Humphrey.
0:04:51 > 0:04:52Get into your positions, please.
0:04:52 > 0:04:56This is, of course, our version of the BBC's quiz show phenomenon.
0:04:56 > 0:04:58I'm going to play the host, Anne Robinson,
0:04:58 > 0:05:01although, I'm going to be slightly less cuddly and
0:05:01 > 0:05:05the rest of you are going to be contestants, but to spice things up,
0:05:05 > 0:05:08we're going to give each of you a character to play.
0:05:08 > 0:05:11So, Justin, you are a cockney market trader.
0:05:11 > 0:05:16Laura, you are an outraged jilted bride.
0:05:16 > 0:05:18Greg, you are a school bully.
0:05:27 > 0:05:31And Humphrey, you are a passionate right-on campaigner.
0:05:31 > 0:05:33So, let's get on with the game.
0:05:37 > 0:05:40Who was the first actor to play Dr Who,
0:05:40 > 0:05:42William Wallace or William Hartnell?
0:05:42 > 0:05:45Blimey, love a duck, can't understand a word you're saying,
0:05:45 > 0:05:49why don't you speak the Queen's? Three for a pound? Gertcha.
0:05:49 > 0:05:53The answer you're looking for is, hmm, apples!
0:05:55 > 0:05:58- No, it isn't?- It is.- It isn't.
0:05:58 > 0:06:00- What is it, then? - It's William Hartnell.
0:06:00 > 0:06:03That's what I mean, apples and bells, William Hartnells.
0:06:09 > 0:06:12You, if you can stop crying, the artist who illustrated
0:06:12 > 0:06:15most of Roald Dahl's books is called Quentin who?
0:06:15 > 0:06:17Arggh!
0:06:18 > 0:06:22That is the second question I can't answer today!
0:06:22 > 0:06:24The first one being,
0:06:24 > 0:06:29"Do you take Graham to be your lawfully wedded husband?"
0:06:29 > 0:06:33No! Cos he hasn't fucking turned up!
0:06:38 > 0:06:40- You.- You.
0:06:43 > 0:06:45- Who had a hit with the song... - Who had a hit with...
0:06:50 > 0:06:52- Who had a hit with... - Who had a hit...
0:06:57 > 0:07:01- It's your own time you're wasting. - It's you're own time you're wasting.
0:07:01 > 0:07:04Who had a hit with the song Ice Ice Baby in 1990,
0:07:04 > 0:07:06Vanilla ice or DJ Vienetta?
0:07:06 > 0:07:09Boo-hoo! Boo-hoo-hoo!
0:07:09 > 0:07:11My name's Hugh Dennis.
0:07:11 > 0:07:15Oh, look at my jaw, it's almost a perfect square!
0:07:22 > 0:07:24I'm going to ask you a question.
0:07:24 > 0:07:28- OK.- Budapest is the capital of which European country?
0:07:28 > 0:07:32Why... Why do there even have to be countries, Hugh?
0:07:32 > 0:07:36If everybody got together and maybe eat some probiotic macro yoghurt
0:07:36 > 0:07:39that wasn't sourced illegally from Navajo Indians' burial grounds,
0:07:39 > 0:07:44we wouldn't even have to worry about things like courts!
0:07:46 > 0:07:50- Is it Hungary?- That is correct.
0:07:56 > 0:07:58Which English king was known as Longshanks
0:07:58 > 0:08:00and the Hammer of the Scots?
0:08:00 > 0:08:04The only king I care about is the pearly kings that walk up and down the beat.
0:08:04 > 0:08:07Gentlemen, the lot of them. I used to sell fruit to Reggie Kray.
0:08:07 > 0:08:10He's a lovely fella, he shot my wife.
0:08:10 > 0:08:12She was asking for it, mind you.
0:08:12 > 0:08:16I've forgotten the question again. Apples?
0:08:16 > 0:08:20That was Edward I. Which chemical element has the symbol He?
0:08:20 > 0:08:23Will YOU marry me?
0:08:23 > 0:08:27I can't marry you because my jaw is a perfect square.
0:08:29 > 0:08:33According to the carol, on which saint's feast day
0:08:33 > 0:08:36did Good King Wenceslas look out?
0:08:36 > 0:08:39Hello, everyone, I'm Hugh Dennis,
0:08:39 > 0:08:42why don't we all play Tetris with my head?
0:08:44 > 0:08:47LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:08:52 > 0:08:55Are you still at school, even though that game was many years ago?
0:08:57 > 0:08:59Yes, I think you may be.
0:08:59 > 0:09:04Who wrote the book Robinson Crusoe, Daniel Defoe or Jermain Defoe?
0:09:04 > 0:09:07What matters is the plight of all of the whales in the world
0:09:07 > 0:09:10that are being murdered by big oil companies.
0:09:12 > 0:09:15Well, I'm afraid at the end of that round,
0:09:15 > 0:09:17I've randomly decided that Greg is the weak link.
0:09:19 > 0:09:21Goodbye.
0:09:24 > 0:09:26HE MOCK-SOBS
0:09:26 > 0:09:30My name's Hugh Dennis, I've got a face like a paving slab.
0:09:30 > 0:09:32APPLAUSE
0:09:32 > 0:09:35And that's it from me, good night.
0:09:41 > 0:09:46Right, this is the part of the show that I think we could call DVD.
0:09:46 > 0:09:49I'm going to take the opportunity to ask the performers to imagine
0:09:49 > 0:09:53a DVD they would hate to receive as a gift. So, anyone?
0:09:53 > 0:09:57Well, Hugh, I love music, so the DVD I'd hate to receive would be
0:09:57 > 0:10:01Jamie Oliver Lisps The Hits Of Fleetwood Mac.
0:10:02 > 0:10:06- Anyone else?- I made a terrible mistake last Christmas and bought
0:10:06 > 0:10:10my mum, by accident, a porn version of a classic.
0:10:10 > 0:10:12She didn't like Forest Gimp, Hugh.
0:10:13 > 0:10:19"Life is like a box of butt plugs - it hurts."
0:10:22 > 0:10:25That's not going to get in.
0:10:25 > 0:10:27It depends how sharp the butt plug is.
0:10:30 > 0:10:33APPLAUSE
0:10:33 > 0:10:37Right, let's play a game called Interpretive Dance
0:10:37 > 0:10:39and taking part in this are Pippa and Laura,
0:10:39 > 0:10:42but let's meet our special guest performer.
0:10:42 > 0:10:44Would you please welcome, David Armand.
0:10:44 > 0:10:47CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:10:50 > 0:10:55Now, the way that game works is that we play in a popular song
0:10:55 > 0:10:58and ask our specialist interpretive dancer, David,
0:10:58 > 0:11:02to illustrate the lyrics through the medium of dance.
0:11:02 > 0:11:05Pippa and Laura will be wearing headphones,
0:11:05 > 0:11:07and therefore unable to hear the music.
0:11:07 > 0:11:10They have to guess the song and the artist purely from the mimes.
0:11:10 > 0:11:13So, if you can put your headphones on. Can you hear me?
0:11:15 > 0:11:17They can't hear me, so that's fantastic. David, if you are ready?
0:11:17 > 0:11:20- I think so.- Off we go.
0:11:20 > 0:11:22MUSIC: Careless Whisper by George Michael
0:11:32 > 0:11:36# I feel so unsure
0:11:37 > 0:11:44# As I take your hand and lead you to the dance floor
0:11:44 > 0:11:48# As the music dies
0:11:48 > 0:11:50# Something in your eyes
0:11:50 > 0:11:54# Calls to mind the silver screen
0:11:54 > 0:11:57# And all its sad goodbyes
0:11:57 > 0:12:00# I'm never going to dance again
0:12:00 > 0:12:04# Guilty feet have got no rhythm
0:12:04 > 0:12:06# Though it's easy to pretend
0:12:06 > 0:12:09# I know you're not a fool
0:12:10 > 0:12:13# Should have known better than to cheat a friend
0:12:13 > 0:12:16# The wasted chance that I've been given
0:12:16 > 0:12:19# So I'm never going to dance again
0:12:19 > 0:12:22# The way I danced with you
0:12:25 > 0:12:27# Oh, oh
0:12:35 > 0:12:38# Time can never mend
0:12:41 > 0:12:48# The careless whispers of a good friend
0:12:48 > 0:12:50# To the heart and mind
0:12:50 > 0:12:54# Ignorance is kind
0:12:54 > 0:12:57# There's no comfort in the truth
0:12:57 > 0:13:00# Pain is all you find
0:13:00 > 0:13:03# I'm never going to dance again
0:13:03 > 0:13:07# Guilty feet have got no rhythm
0:13:07 > 0:13:09# Though it's easy to pretend
0:13:09 > 0:13:12# I know you're not a fool
0:13:12 > 0:13:16# Should have known better than to cheat a friend
0:13:16 > 0:13:18# The wasted chance that I've been given
0:13:18 > 0:13:21# So I'm never going to dance again
0:13:21 > 0:13:24# The way I danced with you
0:13:24 > 0:13:26# Oh...
0:13:26 > 0:13:28SAXOPHONE SOLO
0:13:37 > 0:13:41# Tonight the music seems so loud
0:13:41 > 0:13:44# I wish that we could lose this crowd
0:13:44 > 0:13:47# Maybe it's better this way
0:13:47 > 0:13:51# We'd hurt each other with the things we want to say
0:13:51 > 0:13:53# We could have been so good together
0:13:53 > 0:13:57# We could have lived this dance forever
0:13:57 > 0:14:02# But now who's going to dance with me?
0:14:02 > 0:14:04# Please stay. #
0:14:10 > 0:14:11So...
0:14:11 > 0:14:18So, Pippa, Laura, any idea what that song was?
0:14:18 > 0:14:21This made me think Terence Trent D'Arby.
0:14:21 > 0:14:25I thought...nothing, but I am a little turned on.
0:14:25 > 0:14:27Ah!
0:14:27 > 0:14:28Oh, this...
0:14:28 > 0:14:29Shush.
0:14:29 > 0:14:32QUIETLY: Talking quietly is...
0:14:32 > 0:14:33Whisper.
0:14:33 > 0:14:36- BOTH: Careless whisper!- Oh!
0:14:37 > 0:14:38Fantastic.
0:14:38 > 0:14:41Thank you very much to David Almond.
0:14:41 > 0:14:43APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:14:48 > 0:14:54It's time to get to know our performers, with the part of the show I like to call Party Piece.
0:14:54 > 0:14:57Team, you're a multi-talented lot, but what is your party piece?
0:14:57 > 0:14:59Anyone?
0:14:59 > 0:15:03My party thing is that my face looks exactly the same
0:15:03 > 0:15:07upside down as it does this way up.
0:15:08 > 0:15:10Can I do it?
0:15:11 > 0:15:15Could you just hold my legs, Greg?
0:15:15 > 0:15:18If you could be my body for me, Pippa.
0:15:23 > 0:15:26LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:15:29 > 0:15:33It's a good party. It's a very good party.
0:15:35 > 0:15:38That's quite remarkable.
0:15:39 > 0:15:41Thank you very much!
0:15:41 > 0:15:42APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:15:42 > 0:15:48Right, next up is the mealtime maelstrom that we call Come Dining.
0:15:48 > 0:15:53This is for Justin, Humphrey, Pippa, Greg and Marek. So, if you'd come on down to our dining area, please.
0:15:53 > 0:15:58Justin and Pippa, you're going to begin acting out a mealtime scene in a film genre,
0:15:58 > 0:16:04but when each of your guests arrive, you have to switch to performing in the genre that they bring with them.
0:16:04 > 0:16:08As each of them leaves, the other performers have to revert back to the previous genre.
0:16:08 > 0:16:12Justin and Pippa, if you could start us off as a US medical drama.
0:16:12 > 0:16:18Humphrey. You're going to come in as a 1940s musical.
0:16:18 > 0:16:25Greg, you are a BBC costume drama and Marek, you are Terminator.
0:16:25 > 0:16:27LAUGHTER
0:16:27 > 0:16:28So...
0:16:28 > 0:16:31if you're ready, let's go.
0:16:31 > 0:16:32Let's open him up, oh, American.
0:16:32 > 0:16:36- (IN AMERICAN ACCENTS): Let's open him up.- Let's open him up, doctor.
0:16:36 > 0:16:38Hmm give me two pints of gravy.
0:16:38 > 0:16:43OK, I'd like some kidneys and various offals on a plate.
0:16:43 > 0:16:46What are you guys doing, eating breakfast?
0:16:46 > 0:16:48Don't you know you got to sing about it!
0:16:50 > 0:16:56# When you see sausage on the table You know that something's fine
0:16:56 > 0:16:59# That's eggs and other things And other such lovely stuff
0:16:59 > 0:17:01# Get it in one big, big bowl... #
0:17:01 > 0:17:05Oh, why, Mr Darcy, I...
0:17:05 > 0:17:11had I known of your presence, I would not be in, I'm sure, quite such a quiver.
0:17:13 > 0:17:17This is such an intolerable imposition on my part.
0:17:17 > 0:17:19Please, sit down and I'll look out the window.
0:17:19 > 0:17:21I'm afraid I may not.
0:17:21 > 0:17:26I may not sit with you, sir, as I have not received written permission from the Mayor.
0:17:26 > 0:17:27LAUGHTER
0:17:28 > 0:17:32- Please, please, do sit down. You're making me nervous.- Your Lordship.
0:17:36 > 0:17:39(ROBOTIC): Is your name Sarah Connor?
0:17:42 > 0:17:43No!
0:17:47 > 0:17:50Is your name Sarah Connor?
0:17:50 > 0:17:51No. No. No, it's not.
0:17:56 > 0:17:58Is your name Sarah Connor?
0:17:58 > 0:18:01Yeah, no.
0:18:04 > 0:18:06Is your name Sarah Connor?
0:18:09 > 0:18:11I hate to disappoint you, but no, I...
0:18:11 > 0:18:15LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:18:18 > 0:18:21- What a terrifying visitor.- Mr Darcy.
0:18:21 > 0:18:26- Yes?- I've spoken with my father, he says he's happy for you to give me an apple.
0:18:32 > 0:18:35# Orange juice! Orange juice! Orange juice
0:18:35 > 0:18:39# We genuinely don't have any orange juice! #
0:18:39 > 0:18:44APPLAUSE
0:18:44 > 0:18:50- Quickly, quickly eat first or we're losing him.- Oh, no. Beep!
0:18:50 > 0:18:53Oh, no, that's the microwave.
0:18:53 > 0:18:54Thank you very much!
0:18:54 > 0:18:57APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:19:02 > 0:19:05OK, everyone. It's Party Time.
0:19:05 > 0:19:10I'm going to spin some phat tunes and let our performers get their grind on.
0:19:10 > 0:19:15When the music stops, they're have to come up with the least successful chat-up line they can think of.
0:19:15 > 0:19:18So, if you're ready, let's cue the music.
0:19:18 > 0:19:21MUSIC PLAYS
0:19:23 > 0:19:24MUSIC STOPS
0:19:24 > 0:19:31Hey baby, I'm strong and sensitive and you're not even listening to me!
0:19:31 > 0:19:33MUSIC PLAYS
0:19:33 > 0:19:35MUSIC STOPS
0:19:35 > 0:19:42Oh, my God, I used to have that exact same T-shirt when I was a man.
0:19:42 > 0:19:44MUSIC PLAYS
0:19:45 > 0:19:46MUSIC STOPS
0:19:46 > 0:19:49I have just swallowed an abacus.
0:19:52 > 0:19:56Because it's what's on the inside that counts.
0:19:56 > 0:19:58GROANS AND LAUGHS
0:19:58 > 0:20:01MUSIC PLAYS
0:20:03 > 0:20:04MUSIC STOPS
0:20:04 > 0:20:08Yeah, I really like bald girls.
0:20:10 > 0:20:12MUSIC PLAYS
0:20:13 > 0:20:14MUSIC STOPS
0:20:14 > 0:20:21Have you ever cried yourself to sleep? Cos I can make it happen!
0:20:21 > 0:20:23MUSIC PLAYS
0:20:25 > 0:20:26MUSIC STOPS
0:20:26 > 0:20:30Hey, haven't I seen you before somewhere?
0:20:30 > 0:20:32Oh, no, that was a different ugly woman.
0:20:34 > 0:20:35Thank you very much.
0:20:35 > 0:20:39APPLAUSE
0:20:40 > 0:20:44Time for an educational game that we call Right Way, Wrong Way.
0:20:44 > 0:20:47Pippa, Greg, Laura and Justin, make your way over here, please.
0:20:47 > 0:20:53The performers will be showing us the best and worst ways to propose to someone.
0:20:53 > 0:20:56Greg, you're going to show us the right way to propose to Pippa.
0:20:56 > 0:21:02Justin, you're going to demonstrate the sure fire wrong way to propose to Laura.
0:21:02 > 0:21:06The first bit, of course is arriving at the chosen location.
0:21:06 > 0:21:09Pippa and Greg, show us the right way to do that.
0:21:09 > 0:21:12Oh, a Michelin-starred restaurant.
0:21:12 > 0:21:13Thank you, darling, this is lovely.
0:21:13 > 0:21:16That's not all.
0:21:16 > 0:21:19If you look up there, I've...
0:21:19 > 0:21:24..I've actually hired a jumbo jet and if you watch carefully,
0:21:24 > 0:21:27it's spelling, "I love you".
0:21:27 > 0:21:31Admittedly, it's taking longer than I had hoped.
0:21:31 > 0:21:33But I... I...
0:21:33 > 0:21:36It's worth waiting for.
0:21:38 > 0:21:41So, that's the right way!
0:21:43 > 0:21:48And now, Justin and Laura, could you please show us the wrong way to do that?
0:21:48 > 0:21:52I'll have too cheeseburgers,
0:21:52 > 0:21:53two onion rings and...
0:21:53 > 0:21:55Do you want anything?
0:21:59 > 0:22:02So that's the wrong way!
0:22:02 > 0:22:04Quite clearly the wrong way.
0:22:04 > 0:22:07APPLAUSE
0:22:07 > 0:22:10Now, next we come, of course, to making the actual proposal.
0:22:10 > 0:22:17Note here how Greg combines just the right amount of romance with heartfelt sincerity.
0:22:17 > 0:22:19So, if you could propose, please.
0:22:19 > 0:22:21LAUGHTER
0:22:21 > 0:22:23I, erm...
0:22:23 > 0:22:25I'm so sorry, how awkward.
0:22:34 > 0:22:35It's been...
0:22:35 > 0:22:39How long has it been, four years? You know I love you, don't you?
0:22:39 > 0:22:41- I know.- You can see it, You can see, "I love".
0:22:44 > 0:22:46- Look...- No?!
0:22:46 > 0:22:48Really?
0:22:49 > 0:22:52Marry me.
0:22:52 > 0:22:53Yes!
0:22:53 > 0:22:58So, that's the right way. In fact, I think that may be real.
0:22:58 > 0:23:01It certainly is in my mind!
0:23:01 > 0:23:02LAUGHTER
0:23:02 > 0:23:07This is now the wrong way, as shown us by Justin and Laura.
0:23:19 > 0:23:25Sorry, I was very drunk when we slept together. I can't remember your name.
0:23:26 > 0:23:28So that's the wrong way.
0:23:28 > 0:23:30APPLAUSE
0:23:35 > 0:23:39The final stage of all this is dealing with the answer that you get.
0:23:39 > 0:23:44So, see how Greg continues to keep it together, despite being just a jumble of emotions.
0:23:46 > 0:23:48Oh...
0:23:48 > 0:23:52- Oh, don't cry.- Oh, God.
0:23:52 > 0:23:54There, "you"!
0:23:54 > 0:23:57Perfect timing.
0:23:57 > 0:23:59So, that's the right way.
0:23:59 > 0:24:01APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:24:01 > 0:24:07And now, Justin and Laura are going to show us how not to set the scene on an already disastrous evening.
0:24:07 > 0:24:11What do you mean, "No", how many offers are you going to get?
0:24:13 > 0:24:17It's going to be awkward, I've slept with both of your parents!
0:24:19 > 0:24:20So have I!
0:24:22 > 0:24:24It's all right. It's fine.
0:24:26 > 0:24:27It's OK.
0:24:27 > 0:24:32It really is OK, because the BBC is producing a fact sheet. Thank you very much.
0:24:32 > 0:24:35APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:24:37 > 0:24:42Now we move onto a game called Sideways Scene. This is for Pippa, Justin and Marek
0:24:42 > 0:24:45and it takes place in the special area behind the set.
0:24:45 > 0:24:48So, if you could head off there, please.
0:24:48 > 0:24:53Get ready. Now you three are going to perform a scene in different genres, suggested by me,
0:24:53 > 0:24:58but the difference is you're going to be doing it lying down on a magic mat
0:24:58 > 0:25:02and we're going relay the pictures to the audience on the big screen.
0:25:02 > 0:25:07Now, the scenario, there you go, if you're ready,
0:25:07 > 0:25:13is that Justin and Pippa, you are two newlyweds unpacking things in your house
0:25:13 > 0:25:20and then your plumber, Marek, arrives to warn you of a burst pipe next door.
0:25:20 > 0:25:23So, if you're ready, off you go.
0:25:23 > 0:25:28- Oh.- Oh.- Well. I'm exhausted, darling.
0:25:28 > 0:25:32Yes, we've unpacked the chair, I do wish we'd brought more furniture.
0:25:32 > 0:25:34- What more do we need than our love? - You're right.
0:25:38 > 0:25:39Oh, is that someone at the door?
0:25:39 > 0:25:41I'll go and have a look.
0:25:41 > 0:25:42APPLAUSE AND LAUGHTER
0:25:54 > 0:25:56There's water!
0:25:56 > 0:25:57Bloody lots of it!
0:25:57 > 0:25:59Quickly, get in.
0:26:06 > 0:26:13OK, freeze, please. I want you to change the genre to a surfing movie.
0:26:15 > 0:26:17Oh, man!
0:26:19 > 0:26:22LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:26:25 > 0:26:26It's a shark!
0:26:34 > 0:26:39OK, freeze, please. Now I want you to go to a break dance movie.
0:26:39 > 0:26:43- Wow!- That's right!
0:26:43 > 0:26:46I'm doing my break floating.
0:26:46 > 0:26:50I'm doing some body popping.
0:26:50 > 0:26:51Wow! Yeah!
0:26:51 > 0:26:54APPLAUSE
0:26:56 > 0:26:58OK, freeze again.
0:26:58 > 0:27:04Now I want you to change to Jurassic Park.
0:27:07 > 0:27:09Roar!
0:27:09 > 0:27:14- Don't eat me!- Argh! Argh!
0:27:15 > 0:27:20OK, freeze, please. Now, Titanic.
0:27:22 > 0:27:24Argh!
0:27:24 > 0:27:28LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:27:37 > 0:27:39- Argh!- No.
0:27:42 > 0:27:44Quick! Hold on to the iceberg.
0:27:47 > 0:27:49OK, freeze, please.
0:27:49 > 0:27:52Now, an illusionist show.
0:27:55 > 0:27:58Are you sure this will work?
0:27:58 > 0:28:02Yes, I lie the woman flat with one end suspended on the chair.
0:28:02 > 0:28:10My beautiful assistant will remove the chair and she will float in mid-air. Shazam!
0:28:10 > 0:28:15APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:28:18 > 0:28:20Thank you, come on round.
0:28:28 > 0:28:31CHEERING
0:28:35 > 0:28:40That's all we have time for tonight. So, thanks to Justin Edwards.
0:28:40 > 0:28:42Laura Solon.
0:28:42 > 0:28:44Humphrey Ker. Pippa Evans.
0:28:44 > 0:28:47Marek Larwood and Greg Davis.
0:28:47 > 0:28:51Good night from me, Hugh Dennis. See you next time we play Fast and Loose!
0:28:51 > 0:28:53APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:28:59 > 0:29:03Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:29:03 > 0:29:05E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk