Episode 2

Download Subtitles

Transcript

0:00:01 > 0:00:06Ladies and gentlemen, for the next 15 seconds at least, you're watching Fast and Loose!

0:00:06 > 0:00:12On the show tonight, the Danes hate to see him go, Justin Edwards.

0:00:12 > 0:00:17Is this a dagger I see before me? No, it's Laura Solon!

0:00:17 > 0:00:21Over from America to discuss East/West trade initiatives,

0:00:21 > 0:00:22Wayne Brady!

0:00:22 > 0:00:27He's banned from seven European countries, Jonathan Mangum!

0:00:27 > 0:00:31She's still drunk from New Year, Jess Ransom!

0:00:31 > 0:00:35And he can't even spell his own name, Humphrey Ker.

0:00:39 > 0:00:44And finally, would you please welcome your host - a man who sounds a lot like me -

0:00:44 > 0:00:45Hugh Dennis!

0:00:53 > 0:00:57Hello and welcome to Fast and Loose.

0:00:57 > 0:01:01Tonight we'll be improvising scenes, sketches and TV spoofs

0:01:01 > 0:01:04and picking our performers' brains on an array of topics.

0:01:04 > 0:01:06Let's play Fast and Loose!

0:01:09 > 0:01:12Right. Let's start with a game called Weak Links.

0:01:12 > 0:01:15It involves Justin, Laura, Humphrey and Wayne.

0:01:15 > 0:01:17So if you'd like to get into position, please.

0:01:17 > 0:01:21This is our version of the BBC's worldwide quiz show phenomenon.

0:01:21 > 0:01:25I will play the host, who of course is normally the one and only Anne Robinson.

0:01:25 > 0:01:29The rest of you will act as contestants.

0:01:29 > 0:01:32To spice things up, we'll give each of you a character to play.

0:01:32 > 0:01:37Justin, you are an increasingly drunk bride's father.

0:01:39 > 0:01:42Laura, you are a call centre worker.

0:01:42 > 0:01:44Humphrey, you're Braveheart.

0:01:46 > 0:01:49And Wayne, you are a miracle-working Evangelist.

0:01:51 > 0:01:53So let's get on with the game.

0:01:58 > 0:02:00First, let's meet our contestants. You are?

0:02:02 > 0:02:04DRUNKEN SLUR: Yes, I'm Justin Edwards.

0:02:04 > 0:02:07It's an absolute... It's an absolute pleasure.

0:02:07 > 0:02:09What a wonderful day.

0:02:09 > 0:02:11What a wonderful day we are having so far.

0:02:12 > 0:02:13Thank you. And you?

0:02:13 > 0:02:18Hello. My name is Laura. I'm a trained customer services adviser.

0:02:18 > 0:02:24But let me make the point that "service" and "advice" are very different words to "help".

0:02:24 > 0:02:26You, tall man.

0:02:26 > 0:02:30AGGRESSIVE SCOTTISH ACCENT: My name is William Wallace.

0:02:30 > 0:02:32And I don't like you!

0:02:34 > 0:02:36I don't like you.

0:02:36 > 0:02:37Fair call.

0:02:37 > 0:02:38And you, sir?

0:02:38 > 0:02:42- DEEP SOUTH EVANGELIST: - I'm the Reverend Charles Botenson.

0:02:42 > 0:02:44I came to hear you.

0:02:52 > 0:02:55Right. Let's play Weak Links.

0:02:57 > 0:03:01What girl's name is the same as stations in London and Manchester?

0:03:01 > 0:03:04Doesn't my daughter... Doesn't she look good?

0:03:04 > 0:03:08Doesn't my daughter look... She's fan... You would, wouldn't you?

0:03:08 > 0:03:09I wouldn't.

0:03:10 > 0:03:14What L is the main ingredient of the Indian dish dal?

0:03:14 > 0:03:18I could answer that, but I have to ask you a security question first.

0:03:18 > 0:03:20APPLAUSE

0:03:23 > 0:03:28What word that means "to mutter" is the same name as a seaside resort in Wales?

0:03:28 > 0:03:33AGGRESSIVELY: Wales, another country under the jackboot of the English!

0:03:33 > 0:03:37For too long have we, the Celtic fringe,

0:03:37 > 0:03:42been held back by people asking us questions about things we don't know the answer to.

0:03:42 > 0:03:45Well, no longer, say I!

0:03:45 > 0:03:46So there!

0:03:46 > 0:03:49With knobs on!

0:03:50 > 0:03:52Big spiky knobs!

0:03:53 > 0:03:55Sorry!

0:03:56 > 0:03:58I still don't like you.

0:03:59 > 0:04:01What is the last letter of the Greek alphabet?

0:04:01 > 0:04:04I refuse to acknowledge the Greek alphabet.

0:04:04 > 0:04:10Because the Greek alphabet never helped anybody get up in the morning.

0:04:10 > 0:04:13The Greek alphabet never helped anybody enjoy the sunlight

0:04:13 > 0:04:16and walk when they could not walk. Stand up!

0:04:16 > 0:04:19Stand up. Now sit down.

0:04:19 > 0:04:22CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:04:25 > 0:04:30You, sir. Which animals build dams and lodges?

0:04:30 > 0:04:34SLURRED: I paid...for everything here.

0:04:34 > 0:04:39The total tragedy is that my wife is here today.

0:04:40 > 0:04:44The animal that builds lodges. Masons.

0:04:44 > 0:04:46- Beavers.- Yes.

0:04:50 > 0:04:54You, girl. Which Cluedo character has a military rank?

0:04:54 > 0:05:00You may apply for that answer from our question answering department, Anne,

0:05:00 > 0:05:04but you will have to fill in a form, send four different types of ID

0:05:04 > 0:05:09including a blood sample and a caricature by a Parisian street artist.

0:05:11 > 0:05:13You, the one I don't like.

0:05:13 > 0:05:15What is the capital of Iraq?

0:05:15 > 0:05:20Iraq. They've "Iraq'd" my arm off, you son of a bitch!

0:05:20 > 0:05:24And why? Cos I stood up for my children.

0:05:24 > 0:05:25And my children's children.

0:05:25 > 0:05:28And that queen that I had sex with in the film,

0:05:28 > 0:05:30even though she was nae born for 100 years!

0:05:36 > 0:05:40Typical shoddy English workmanship!

0:05:40 > 0:05:45If that had been built in Aberdeen, I could have pushed it over with impunity!

0:05:48 > 0:05:51And you, praying man. What is...

0:05:51 > 0:05:56I don't hear you. I hear Him. He can ask me a question.

0:05:56 > 0:05:59I am more important than Him.

0:06:00 > 0:06:05What is the name of the famous racehorse. I beg your pardon, I'll ask that again.

0:06:05 > 0:06:10What was the name of... Oh, God, I can't understand the way this is written.

0:06:11 > 0:06:12Read!

0:06:18 > 0:06:21- EVANGELICAL:- The name of which...

0:06:22 > 0:06:27The name of which famous racehorse was the word murder spelt backwards?

0:06:30 > 0:06:33It's not a British question at all.

0:06:36 > 0:06:39SPEAKS IN TONGUES

0:06:40 > 0:06:43- Red Rum.- Correct.

0:06:45 > 0:06:48Right. That's the end of the round.

0:06:51 > 0:06:53I have randomly decided to get rid of you.

0:06:53 > 0:06:56Call centre girl, you are the weakest link. Goodbye.

0:07:03 > 0:07:08Does anyone else think he looks like the dad in Outnumbered?

0:07:11 > 0:07:13That's it from me. Good night.

0:07:21 > 0:07:22Right.

0:07:22 > 0:07:27Now, performers, it's time to find out a bit more about you for the people at home.

0:07:27 > 0:07:32If you had to describe yourself in three words, what would those words be?

0:07:32 > 0:07:33Humphrey?

0:07:33 > 0:07:35Ooh. Three words.

0:07:35 > 0:07:36OK.

0:07:36 > 0:07:39Humphrey like ham.

0:07:40 > 0:07:42Jonathan?

0:07:42 > 0:07:45Not good at math.

0:07:46 > 0:07:48Justin?

0:07:48 > 0:07:51Earth, Wind and Fire.

0:07:52 > 0:07:54Excellent. Thank you.

0:07:58 > 0:08:01Let's move on to a game called Forward Rewind.

0:08:01 > 0:08:04This is for Wayne, Jonathan, Jess and Humphrey.

0:08:04 > 0:08:07Please come down to our performance area.

0:08:07 > 0:08:10You four are going to improvise a scene,

0:08:10 > 0:08:13but when I press my rewind or forward buttons,

0:08:13 > 0:08:18you must repeat the action you've just done, but in the opposite direction.

0:08:18 > 0:08:23The scene is that Wayne and Jonathan are Indiana Jones and his side-kick

0:08:23 > 0:08:25breaking in to a booby-trapped tomb.

0:08:25 > 0:08:29They'll be joined by Jess as Indie's love interest,

0:08:29 > 0:08:33and Humphrey, you're a giant, angry zombie...

0:08:33 > 0:08:35LAUGHTER

0:08:37 > 0:08:38..who turns up later.

0:08:38 > 0:08:41I'll just test my buttons here.

0:08:41 > 0:08:43I've got two. This is rewind.

0:08:43 > 0:08:45Rewind.

0:08:45 > 0:08:47And this is forward.

0:08:47 > 0:08:48Forward.

0:08:52 > 0:08:54I enjoyed it.

0:08:55 > 0:08:56Off we go.

0:08:56 > 0:09:00- OK. Strap on the gear before we get in the jeep.- OK, Indie.

0:09:02 > 0:09:04Let's go!

0:09:05 > 0:09:06Rewind.

0:09:06 > 0:09:09Let's go.

0:09:10 > 0:09:12- OK, Indie. - Forward.

0:09:12 > 0:09:14- Right.- OK, Indie.- OK what?

0:09:16 > 0:09:18All right.

0:09:19 > 0:09:21The tomb!

0:09:22 > 0:09:24Rewind.

0:09:29 > 0:09:30The tomb!

0:09:30 > 0:09:32Forward.

0:09:33 > 0:09:35- Which direction are we in?- Forward.

0:09:35 > 0:09:37The tomb!

0:09:39 > 0:09:41Oh, Indie, my head hurts!

0:09:41 > 0:09:43- You'll be OK.- I hear them coming! - They are?

0:09:45 > 0:09:46Rewind.

0:09:46 > 0:09:48They are?

0:09:48 > 0:09:51- I hear them coming!- Yes.- Oh, my head hurts.- You'll be all right.

0:09:51 > 0:09:53- Forward. - You'll be all right.

0:09:54 > 0:09:56- I hear them coming!- You're right.

0:09:59 > 0:10:00Indie! It's me!

0:10:03 > 0:10:05- Thank God you're OK!- Reverse!

0:10:05 > 0:10:07Rewind.

0:10:10 > 0:10:11Indie, it's me!

0:10:12 > 0:10:14Forward.

0:10:16 > 0:10:18- Thank God you're OK. - Rewind.

0:10:22 > 0:10:24- Thank God...- Forward.

0:10:28 > 0:10:30Thank God you're OK.

0:10:30 > 0:10:32Grrr!

0:10:32 > 0:10:34Run! Run!

0:10:34 > 0:10:36Run!

0:10:37 > 0:10:38Rewind.

0:10:46 > 0:10:47Thank God you're OK.

0:10:49 > 0:10:51Forward.

0:10:53 > 0:10:55Thank God you're OK.

0:10:55 > 0:10:56Look!

0:10:56 > 0:10:57No!

0:10:57 > 0:10:59Grrrr!

0:11:03 > 0:11:05We have to rescue him!

0:11:14 > 0:11:16Rewind!

0:11:18 > 0:11:19Rewind.

0:11:31 > 0:11:33Forward.

0:11:35 > 0:11:37Rewind all the way to the beginning.

0:11:39 > 0:11:42No! No! No!

0:11:44 > 0:11:46Thank God you're OK.

0:11:47 > 0:11:49Indie, it's me!

0:11:53 > 0:11:55- You're right!- Indie, my head hurts.

0:11:58 > 0:11:59The tomb!

0:12:02 > 0:12:05Let's go. Put on our gear before we leave.

0:12:05 > 0:12:07OK, Indie.

0:12:08 > 0:12:10- Hey, Indie, you going to kiss a girl?- Yes!

0:12:11 > 0:12:14APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

0:12:23 > 0:12:27Yep. I knew I'd get lucky in London!

0:12:27 > 0:12:29Let's have a break now for a fun fact.

0:12:29 > 0:12:34Performers, could you please tell me a fun fact about me, Hugh Dennis.

0:12:36 > 0:12:41Hugh Dennis never passes up the chance to demonstrate his tap-dancing skills.

0:12:48 > 0:12:51I'm afraid you got that one from Wikipedia!

0:12:52 > 0:12:53Wayne.

0:12:53 > 0:12:57That when the dark time comes,

0:12:57 > 0:12:59and all humanity is forced to flee to the stars,

0:12:59 > 0:13:03we will all gather inside Hugh Dennis and take off from Mars.

0:13:05 > 0:13:08I've certainly got a very powerful arse!

0:13:09 > 0:13:11Stage One boosters.

0:13:12 > 0:13:18- Humphrey?- Hugh Dennis was abandoned in Windsor Great Park as a child

0:13:18 > 0:13:20and raised by swans.

0:13:21 > 0:13:23Thank you very much.

0:13:27 > 0:13:31Next, we play a game called interpretive dance.

0:13:31 > 0:13:35Taking part are Jess and Laura. First off,

0:13:35 > 0:13:37though, let's meet our special guest performer.

0:13:37 > 0:13:40Please welcome David Armand.

0:13:46 > 0:13:52Now, the way that this game works is that we play in a popular song.

0:13:52 > 0:13:57We ask our specialist interpretive dancer to illustrate the lyrics through the medium of dance.

0:13:57 > 0:14:01Jess and Laura will wear headphones. Please put them on.

0:14:01 > 0:14:04They'll be unable to hear the music.

0:14:04 > 0:14:09They have to guess the song and the artist purely from the mime.

0:14:09 > 0:14:12So - can you hear me?

0:14:14 > 0:14:15Off we go!

0:14:16 > 0:14:20MUSIC: Introduction to Love Is All Around

0:14:25 > 0:14:29# I feel it in my fingers

0:14:29 > 0:14:33# I feel it in my toes

0:14:37 > 0:14:40# The love that's all around me

0:14:41 > 0:14:44# And so the feeling grows

0:14:48 > 0:14:51# It's written on the wind

0:14:52 > 0:14:55# It's everywhere I go

0:14:56 > 0:14:58# Oh, yes it is

0:15:00 > 0:15:03# So if you really love me

0:15:03 > 0:15:07# Come on and let it show

0:15:14 > 0:15:17# You know I love you

0:15:17 > 0:15:19# I always will

0:15:20 > 0:15:24# My mind's made up by the way that I feel

0:15:26 > 0:15:28# There's no beginning

0:15:28 > 0:15:30# There'll be no end

0:15:30 > 0:15:34# Upon my love

0:15:34 > 0:15:36# You can depend

0:15:50 > 0:15:54# I see your face before me

0:15:54 > 0:15:57# As I lay on my bed

0:16:02 > 0:16:05# I kinda get to thinking

0:16:05 > 0:16:08# Of all the things you said

0:16:10 > 0:16:12# Oh, yes I do

0:16:13 > 0:16:16# You gave your promise to me

0:16:17 > 0:16:20# And I gave mine to you

0:16:25 > 0:16:27# I need someone beside me

0:16:28 > 0:16:31# In everything I do

0:16:33 > 0:16:35# Oh, yes I do... #

0:16:44 > 0:16:46What was going on there?

0:16:46 > 0:16:48Is there a song with the lyrics

0:16:48 > 0:16:52"I've got hands and feet and a penis

0:16:52 > 0:16:54"And at some point I get off with you"?

0:16:54 > 0:16:57It's a Beatles song, yes.

0:16:57 > 0:17:00- I think I might know it.- Come on!

0:17:00 > 0:17:03- Is it "Love Is All Around"?- Come on!

0:17:05 > 0:17:08Thank you very much, David Armand!

0:17:14 > 0:17:18Now it's that part of the show called What Tattoo?,

0:17:18 > 0:17:24where I ask the performers to reveal where they would get a tattoo and what it would say.

0:17:24 > 0:17:25Anyone?

0:17:25 > 0:17:28I would get a tattoo on my left thigh

0:17:28 > 0:17:31that says, "Welcome to London Zoo."

0:17:31 > 0:17:36And a tattoo on my right side with a sign pointing saying "Welcome to the snake exhibit."

0:17:39 > 0:17:41I see where you're coming from!

0:17:48 > 0:17:50LAURA: Oh, dear!

0:17:50 > 0:17:51I take it back.

0:17:53 > 0:17:55I wish you would!

0:17:55 > 0:17:57Excellent. Thank you very much indeed.

0:18:01 > 0:18:04Next we play a game called Double Speak.

0:18:04 > 0:18:08I'll play the presenter of what appears to be a normal TV show,

0:18:08 > 0:18:13interviewing members of the public played by our performers. So come on down, please.

0:18:13 > 0:18:14Put on your costumes.

0:18:14 > 0:18:19But there's a twist. Our six interviewees will be in three pairs.

0:18:19 > 0:18:24Each pair will have to speak as one person. Sounds mad.

0:18:24 > 0:18:29Let's hope it is. The show we're presenting is an extreme makeover show.

0:18:29 > 0:18:31So, Laura and Jess,

0:18:31 > 0:18:34you are a woman who's just had plastic surgery.

0:18:34 > 0:18:38Wayne and Jonathan, you are the bitchy plastic surgeon.

0:18:39 > 0:18:45Justin and Humphrey, you are the husband of the woman having plastic surgery. I'm the interviewer.

0:18:45 > 0:18:48So, how did the surgery go?

0:18:48 > 0:18:52IN UNISON: The surgery went really well.

0:18:53 > 0:18:57I have always felt

0:18:57 > 0:19:00I wanted two heads

0:19:00 > 0:19:05because they are better than one.

0:19:07 > 0:19:13So, Doctor, I don't imagine this is a normal procedure, is it?

0:19:13 > 0:19:14Have you done this before?

0:19:14 > 0:19:18VERY SLOWLY: I...have.

0:19:20 > 0:19:27Three times in Sweden.

0:19:29 > 0:19:32But you haven't always been plastic surgeons, have you?

0:19:32 > 0:19:38I believe you used to be heart doctors. What are they called?

0:19:39 > 0:19:41What?

0:19:43 > 0:19:46Excellent. Now,

0:19:46 > 0:19:50your wife has just had an extra head fitted.

0:19:50 > 0:19:52- TOGETHER:- Yes.

0:19:52 > 0:20:00- That's correct.- Why did you think that would be a good idea?

0:20:00 > 0:20:03I thought

0:20:03 > 0:20:09it would improve

0:20:09 > 0:20:13our love-making.

0:20:19 > 0:20:20True.

0:20:20 > 0:20:27Two heads are better than one

0:20:27 > 0:20:33and three is French.

0:20:35 > 0:20:37Yes.

0:20:37 > 0:20:40We...

0:20:40 > 0:20:42STRUGGLE TO FIND NEXT WORD

0:20:44 > 0:20:46What?!

0:20:48 > 0:20:50Yeah, I can see...

0:20:50 > 0:20:53I can see your motivation behind it.

0:20:53 > 0:20:58I'm intrigued by the name of this particular procedure. What's it called?

0:20:59 > 0:21:02Two heads.

0:21:07 > 0:21:12It is known as

0:21:12 > 0:21:17duo craniosis.

0:21:19 > 0:21:20Excellent.

0:21:23 > 0:21:28Is there any other operation you're hoping to have cosmetically?

0:21:28 > 0:21:29Well,

0:21:29 > 0:21:32I'd really like

0:21:32 > 0:21:34to ha... to get

0:21:36 > 0:21:42rid of my extra legs.

0:21:45 > 0:21:48Could you sort that out for them? Is that something you could do?

0:21:48 > 0:21:51Yes.

0:21:53 > 0:21:57We could remove the legs

0:21:57 > 0:22:01from the part

0:22:01 > 0:22:06where the legs connect.

0:22:07 > 0:22:10Would you as the...

0:22:10 > 0:22:13I know you're thinking greatly of love-making.

0:22:13 > 0:22:17I imagine an extra pair of legs is really quite useful.

0:22:17 > 0:22:20So how do you feel about them being removed?

0:22:20 > 0:22:25STRUGGLE TO SYNCHRONISE I hunger

0:22:25 > 0:22:31for more legs!

0:22:33 > 0:22:35Thank you very much.

0:22:42 > 0:22:45Well, I don't know about you, but I think it may be party time.

0:22:45 > 0:22:47I'm going to play in some sick tunes

0:22:47 > 0:22:50and our performers can get down.

0:22:50 > 0:22:55And when the music stops, I'll ask them to say the most pretentious line they can think of.

0:22:55 > 0:22:56So.

0:22:56 > 0:22:58Music, please.

0:23:05 > 0:23:08For me, Parmesan isn't a hard cheese.

0:23:08 > 0:23:10It's a way of life.

0:23:17 > 0:23:21My package is so big, you never have to ship it overnight

0:23:21 > 0:23:23because it's already there.

0:23:28 > 0:23:31Bono. Singer. Saint.

0:23:31 > 0:23:34But is he also art?

0:23:39 > 0:23:44I'm so pretentious, Kanye West called me and said, "Wayne, stop being so pretentious!"

0:23:50 > 0:23:52Rien. Desole.

0:23:52 > 0:23:55Sorry, did I say that in French?

0:24:02 > 0:24:07Yes, in my spare time, I just like to translate Will Self's works into Sanskrit.

0:24:10 > 0:24:12Thank you!

0:24:17 > 0:24:21Right now, we move on to a game called Sideways Scene.

0:24:21 > 0:24:24This is for Justin, Wayne and Jonathan

0:24:24 > 0:24:27and takes place in a special area behind the set.

0:24:27 > 0:24:31So, Justin, Wayne and Jonathan, if you can make your way off there and get ready.

0:24:31 > 0:24:36You three are going to improvise a scene in different genres suggested by me.

0:24:36 > 0:24:41But the difference is you're going to do it lying down on our magic mat.

0:24:41 > 0:24:44We'll relay the pictures to the audience on the screen.

0:24:44 > 0:24:46- Now, the scenario... - LAUGHTER

0:24:52 > 0:24:54..is really...

0:24:56 > 0:24:59..genuinely quite unpleasant.

0:25:00 > 0:25:04The scenario is that Justin and Jonathan are two inept handymen

0:25:04 > 0:25:06rewiring a house.

0:25:06 > 0:25:09Wayne is the bad-tempered home-owner

0:25:09 > 0:25:10who comes to fire them.

0:25:10 > 0:25:12So, off you go.

0:25:12 > 0:25:15- Hello, Bill.- All right, Dave? How you doing?

0:25:15 > 0:25:17- Nice to see you.- And you.

0:25:17 > 0:25:20The light we want to replace is right up there.

0:25:20 > 0:25:23- The ladder's in the truck. Can you give me a hand?- Sure.

0:25:24 > 0:25:27- Any joy? Got it?- I've got it. Let me down.

0:25:28 > 0:25:31Tell you what. I wanted to have a quick go. I'll go to the meter.

0:25:31 > 0:25:33- Sure.- It'll be easier if I go.

0:25:33 > 0:25:36Take your time!

0:25:36 > 0:25:38Aghh! Ah!

0:25:38 > 0:25:41It's just over here by the door.

0:25:41 > 0:25:43- Right.- I think I can see what the problem is.

0:25:43 > 0:25:46Watch out. I think this fuse is a hot one.

0:25:46 > 0:25:48BUZZING

0:25:50 > 0:25:54- I've ruined this job.- Why don't you have a look at it?- Right.

0:25:59 > 0:26:02- BRONX ACCENT:- Hey, what are you guys doing here?

0:26:02 > 0:26:04- Damaging my house!- Run!

0:26:11 > 0:26:14Hey. I paid you to do a job.

0:26:14 > 0:26:15Did I pay you to break stuff, huh?

0:26:18 > 0:26:22OK. Change genre. Change genre, please.

0:26:25 > 0:26:29Freeze. I want you now to go Western.

0:26:34 > 0:26:38- AS CLINT EASTWOOD: - Cos my house ain't big enough for the three of us.

0:26:38 > 0:26:41Let's draw on three. One, two, three.

0:26:57 > 0:26:59OK. Freeze.

0:27:02 > 0:27:05And now change over, please, to Toy Story.

0:27:07 > 0:27:10I feel bad. I think we should let him back in.

0:27:10 > 0:27:12Yeah, he's our friend, after all.

0:27:12 > 0:27:14Hey, Buzz. Buzz.

0:27:14 > 0:27:16Come back in.

0:27:17 > 0:27:19To infinity and beyond!

0:27:24 > 0:27:26I'm out of gas!

0:27:30 > 0:27:32I'll use my springs to get over there.

0:27:32 > 0:27:34Bo-i-i-ng!

0:27:34 > 0:27:37APPLAUSE

0:27:37 > 0:27:39Woof! Woof!

0:27:41 > 0:27:43Freeze again, please.

0:27:43 > 0:27:45Change genre to gymnastic display.

0:28:06 > 0:28:08Help me up! Help me up!

0:28:11 > 0:28:14LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

0:28:14 > 0:28:16Thank you very much indeed!

0:28:18 > 0:28:20Come on back.

0:28:28 > 0:28:32That's all we have time for tonight. Thanks to Justin Edwards...

0:28:34 > 0:28:36..Laura Solon...

0:28:36 > 0:28:38Wayne Brady...

0:28:38 > 0:28:40Jonathan Mangum...

0:28:41 > 0:28:43..Jess Ransom...

0:28:43 > 0:28:44Humphrey Ker.

0:28:44 > 0:28:50Good night from me, Hugh Dennis. See you next time we play Fast and Loose.

0:29:05 > 0:29:08Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd