0:00:02 > 0:00:06This programme contains some strong language.
0:00:07 > 0:00:10What are you doing?!
0:00:10 > 0:00:11It's two in the morning.
0:00:11 > 0:00:14I turned the light off so I wouldn't disturb you.
0:00:14 > 0:00:18- You're hoovering sauce. - Yes, Tom, otherwise it's a waste.
0:00:18 > 0:00:19Huh?
0:00:19 > 0:00:22Every time we through a bottle away, we're losing precious ketchup dregs.
0:00:22 > 0:00:24Add it all up - that's like £6 billion a year.
0:00:24 > 0:00:26You woke me up for this.
0:00:26 > 0:00:28My first instinct was to blow up the bottle,
0:00:28 > 0:00:31but that's just creating more hoovering for myself.
0:00:31 > 0:00:32Naz, this system solves nothing.
0:00:32 > 0:00:34You suck the sauce out, it just goes in the Hoover bag.
0:00:34 > 0:00:37- I mean, what do you do with it then? - Way ahead of you.
0:00:45 > 0:00:47This is Flat News.
0:00:51 > 0:00:52Flatmate and imbecile Naz
0:00:52 > 0:00:54has announced plans to
0:00:54 > 0:00:55invent a new sauce.
0:00:55 > 0:00:57He joins us now in the studio.
0:00:57 > 0:00:59Naz, what the hell are you doing?
0:00:59 > 0:01:01You know how passionate I am about sauce.
0:01:01 > 0:01:03Yesterday, you downed a pint of Reggae Reggae.
0:01:03 > 0:01:07Exactly, and that's why I'm introducing Mayonaz -
0:01:07 > 0:01:08the sauce that cares.
0:01:08 > 0:01:09OK.
0:01:09 > 0:01:12Mayonaz - lumpy, different.
0:01:12 > 0:01:13What the hell are you saying?
0:01:13 > 0:01:15May the sauce be within your mouth.
0:01:15 > 0:01:17- The slogan needs work. - Still up in the air.
0:01:17 > 0:01:18But I think this could be huge.
0:01:18 > 0:01:21In a couple of months, you could be looking at the next Uncle Benjamin.
0:01:21 > 0:01:23Perhaps even the new Colonel Mustard.
0:01:23 > 0:01:26Mayonaz - go sauce yourself, you saucy little bitch.
0:01:26 > 0:01:28Well, thanks for coming in.
0:01:28 > 0:01:30Annoying neighbour Aoife is pestering me
0:01:30 > 0:01:32to replace her as the building's fire officer.
0:01:32 > 0:01:33I've turned down the offer as it
0:01:33 > 0:01:36sounds like an annoying bullshit thing to do.
0:01:36 > 0:01:38My time in the role has come to an end.
0:01:38 > 0:01:40It's time to hand over the baton.
0:01:40 > 0:01:42I'm not your guy, I hate fire.
0:01:42 > 0:01:44- Perfect.- Oh, I mean I love fire.
0:01:44 > 0:01:46Even better. Oh, go on. You get a badge
0:01:46 > 0:01:48and keys to all the flats.
0:01:48 > 0:01:51Don't forget the baton.
0:01:51 > 0:01:52In live talk now,
0:01:52 > 0:01:54my technique for getting to know
0:01:54 > 0:01:55beautiful new next neighbour Sophie
0:01:55 > 0:01:57proves unsuccessful.
0:01:59 > 0:02:03- What are you listening to, Drake?- What?- Is it Drake?
0:02:03 > 0:02:04No, why?
0:02:04 > 0:02:07It's just Facebook says you like Drake.
0:02:07 > 0:02:12Guess you shouldn't believe everything you read on Facebook.
0:02:12 > 0:02:15- So are you going to Chris' party next weekend?- Well, Yeah!
0:02:15 > 0:02:16Do you know Chris?
0:02:16 > 0:02:19Yeah, we bump into each other every now and again.
0:02:19 > 0:02:21Chris has been abroad for two years.
0:02:21 > 0:02:23Has he?
0:02:23 > 0:02:25Yeah, she has.
0:02:27 > 0:02:28Hmm.
0:02:28 > 0:02:31It seems online stocking clearly isn't working.
0:02:31 > 0:02:33Time to man up and try some off-line stalking.
0:02:33 > 0:02:34Ahem.
0:02:34 > 0:02:37Is sir ready for saucy time?
0:02:39 > 0:02:40Oh, God.
0:02:46 > 0:02:52It's Nazterchef, where one amateur hopeful will try to make a sauce.
0:02:52 > 0:02:56It's not about making A sauce, it's about making THE sauce.
0:02:56 > 0:03:00But does he have what it takes to be dominant with a condiment?
0:03:05 > 0:03:09The thing about Naz is he's willing to cook with things other than food
0:03:09 > 0:03:14- like rubber, magnets, shower gel, bits of wall.
0:03:14 > 0:03:15Now, that's passion!
0:03:15 > 0:03:17Talk me through it, Naz.
0:03:17 > 0:03:19This is a recipe that I made up.
0:03:19 > 0:03:21So you're just putting sauce on top of another sauce
0:03:21 > 0:03:24and then throwing it all into a bowl without really thinking.
0:03:24 > 0:03:25I like it.
0:03:25 > 0:03:28Naz certainly knows what he's doing with sauce.
0:03:28 > 0:03:31- That's quite a lot of salt you're putting there.- Yeah.
0:03:31 > 0:03:33I think he's going to go far.
0:03:33 > 0:03:36- I'm going to scoop that in. - Drizzle it on. Shove a bit more in.
0:03:36 > 0:03:38OK, fuck, yeah.
0:03:38 > 0:03:41- OK, that's not a foodstuff, is it, Naz?- It's minty fresh!
0:03:41 > 0:03:44- Tiny bit of mustard. Yeah.- Look at that mustard.
0:03:44 > 0:03:46You can smell it from here.
0:03:46 > 0:03:48- That is strong. Can you smell that? - I don't want to.- No?
0:03:48 > 0:03:51I love a bit of mustard. I rub it on myself sometimes.
0:03:51 > 0:03:53I'm covered in it right now.
0:03:53 > 0:03:56And this is truffle oil.
0:04:01 > 0:04:03Yeah.
0:04:03 > 0:04:05But will he impress his flatmate?
0:04:05 > 0:04:09It would really mean the world to me if Tom liked my sauce.
0:04:09 > 0:04:12And I'm pretty confident he will do.
0:04:12 > 0:04:15Naz's source is a blend of other sauces, truffle oil,
0:04:15 > 0:04:18shower gel and Haribo.
0:04:18 > 0:04:22- Have you got a spoon, or...? - Um...
0:04:22 > 0:04:25- Maybe just use your hand. - I'm not doing that.
0:04:26 > 0:04:29It's fine, I've brought my own.
0:04:29 > 0:04:30As per.
0:04:40 > 0:04:42Hmm, it shouldn't work...
0:04:42 > 0:04:44and it doesn't work.
0:04:44 > 0:04:47The sweetness of the Haribo contrasts terribly
0:04:47 > 0:04:49with the disgusting taste of everything else you've put in it.
0:04:49 > 0:04:53It's the sort of flavour that makes you want to shoot yourself directly into the face.
0:04:53 > 0:04:56I would throw it up, but I fear seeing it again might force me to
0:04:56 > 0:04:58set myself on fire and jump in front of a train in Tibet, where I've
0:04:58 > 0:05:04moved to get as far away as possible from your horrible, horrible sauce.
0:05:04 > 0:05:05I like it.
0:05:10 > 0:05:13Whoa, whoa, whoa! My truffle oil.
0:05:13 > 0:05:15Is that part of your secret recipe?
0:05:15 > 0:05:18- It's a secret.- Tell me. - Yes.- This is elite oil.
0:05:18 > 0:05:20It's made from very expensive truffles.
0:05:20 > 0:05:22Tom, you're confused. Truffles is a place.
0:05:22 > 0:05:24- It's not a place, Naz. - What is it, then?
0:05:25 > 0:05:29Um, doesn't matter. You are not to mix it with shower gel to create this disgusting mess.
0:05:29 > 0:05:30I don't care what you think, OK?
0:05:30 > 0:05:32Just get on a boat back to Truffles, or wherever
0:05:32 > 0:05:35- it is your people come from. - Get off!- You get off!
0:05:36 > 0:05:38- Great.- Yeah!- Nice.
0:05:39 > 0:05:43Oh, Sophie's car. That's her car.
0:05:43 > 0:05:45Yeah!
0:05:45 > 0:05:48It doesn't matter because I'm going to get a second opinion.
0:05:48 > 0:05:50I'm going to call Carl.
0:05:52 > 0:05:55Sophie! Hold it!
0:05:55 > 0:05:57PANTING
0:05:58 > 0:06:01- Need a hand?- Yeah, I do, actually.
0:06:01 > 0:06:04What are you up to? What are you into? What are you like?
0:06:04 > 0:06:05What are you up to?
0:06:05 > 0:06:08Oh! Oh, that's just...
0:06:09 > 0:06:10unexplainable.
0:06:10 > 0:06:12I thought you were just pleased to see me.
0:06:12 > 0:06:13I am, just not sexually.
0:06:13 > 0:06:16Erm... Not that you wouldn't cause an...
0:06:16 > 0:06:18HE GROANS
0:06:18 > 0:06:21- Don't forget your erection. - It wouldn't be the first time.
0:06:21 > 0:06:23- Hmm?- ..I've lost an erection...
0:06:23 > 0:06:26- I'll stop saying that now.- Shall we? - Yeah.
0:06:27 > 0:06:29GROANING
0:06:29 > 0:06:32- Thank you.- Oh, no, thank you.
0:06:32 > 0:06:34Oh, yeah.
0:06:35 > 0:06:36- Marc Jacobs.- No, I'm Tom.
0:06:36 > 0:06:38- No, the bag.- Oh, it's heavy.
0:06:38 > 0:06:41It's because it's got all my secrets in it.
0:06:41 > 0:06:42Bye!
0:06:46 > 0:06:48Breaking news.
0:06:48 > 0:06:50Sophie says her handbag contains all her secrets,
0:06:50 > 0:06:51which means surely if
0:06:51 > 0:06:53I can just see its contents,
0:06:53 > 0:06:55I'll get to know the real her.
0:06:55 > 0:06:56DOORBELL RINGS
0:06:59 > 0:07:01Yo, you sounded down on the phone.
0:07:03 > 0:07:06Tom said it was the worst thing he's ever tasted.
0:07:06 > 0:07:07It can't be that bad!
0:07:07 > 0:07:09Wang it here.
0:07:11 > 0:07:13- What do you think?- That's bad.
0:07:13 > 0:07:15Tom's right, I'm... I'm such a failure.
0:07:15 > 0:07:16I feel like a boob.
0:07:16 > 0:07:19- No, man, you can't judge a sauce by its taste.- Hmm?
0:07:19 > 0:07:22Mustard by itself is bad.
0:07:22 > 0:07:25Put it on some steak, it's baaad.
0:07:25 > 0:07:27Vinegar on its own is sick.
0:07:27 > 0:07:30Put it on some chips, it's siiick.
0:07:30 > 0:07:31You get me?!
0:07:31 > 0:07:33Let's try it with pizza.
0:07:42 > 0:07:45- BOTH:- Mmmmm!
0:07:45 > 0:07:48- BOTH:- Ohhhh!
0:07:48 > 0:07:49Oh, shit!
0:07:49 > 0:07:51Oh, yeah!
0:07:51 > 0:07:53- Naz!- Mmm!- Naz!- Oh!
0:07:53 > 0:07:55- Naz!- Waay!
0:07:55 > 0:07:57- This is the nicest thing I've ever tasted.- Oh!
0:07:57 > 0:07:59And I ain't even lying.
0:07:59 > 0:08:00It's like there's a party in my mouth
0:08:00 > 0:08:02and everyone's having a really nice pizza.
0:08:02 > 0:08:05Oh, the sweet nectar stirs within me,
0:08:05 > 0:08:07like the spirit of Dionysus himself -
0:08:07 > 0:08:11who revels with his saucy nymphs as the flavour consumes
0:08:11 > 0:08:13- him with zesty burn. - That'll be the shower gel.
0:08:13 > 0:08:16You've created some new type of sauce.
0:08:18 > 0:08:20Pizza Mustard.
0:08:20 > 0:08:22Pizza Mustard.
0:08:23 > 0:08:25Pizza Mustard - from Mayonaz.
0:08:25 > 0:08:28Sauce up your day and then put it on your pizza.
0:08:28 > 0:08:31- Maybe work on the slogan. - Yeah, it does need work.
0:08:31 > 0:08:33Look, listen, listen. My boss is going to love this.
0:08:33 > 0:08:35Can you make some more? Because he'll pay.
0:08:35 > 0:08:37Yeah, I can.
0:08:39 > 0:08:42Nectar of the gods.
0:08:42 > 0:08:44Nectar of the gods!
0:08:46 > 0:08:49Yeah! Thanks, man.
0:08:49 > 0:08:51Mayonaz, just fucking eat it.
0:08:51 > 0:08:53Maybe outsource the slogan.
0:08:58 > 0:09:01- Uh, mate, about the rent. - Oh, that's a bad smell.
0:09:01 > 0:09:04You're smelling real bad, boy. Oh-ho!
0:09:04 > 0:09:06Are you on Sophie's Instagram?
0:09:06 > 0:09:09- What do you want?- The rent. - Well, I'm sorry, Mikey,
0:09:09 > 0:09:12I'm a little bit busy here.
0:09:12 > 0:09:15- Now you're Googling how to look into a handbag.- And?
0:09:23 > 0:09:27Thank you, thank you. Oh, lively gang today.
0:09:27 > 0:09:30So we're talking about Sophie's bag.
0:09:30 > 0:09:32Ladies, what do you think of Sophie?
0:09:32 > 0:09:34Oh, I love Sophie. I love her.
0:09:34 > 0:09:37How can you not? She's looks lovely, doesn't she?
0:09:37 > 0:09:39I think that her in Tom would make a lovely couple.
0:09:39 > 0:09:42I do. I do think that.
0:09:42 > 0:09:43APPLAUSE
0:09:44 > 0:09:47I've got a bag and I carry things in it to the shops
0:09:47 > 0:09:49and to pick up the kids and to please my man.
0:09:50 > 0:09:53Another thing, ain't men stupid?
0:09:55 > 0:09:56But, also, I love men.
0:09:59 > 0:10:02So we all think Tom and Sophie would make a lovely couple.
0:10:02 > 0:10:05There they are, together at last.
0:10:05 > 0:10:07Oh, ain't that nice?!
0:10:07 > 0:10:10Oh, that is lovely, them two together.
0:10:10 > 0:10:13Oh, that's a bit much.
0:10:13 > 0:10:15If I got my hands on Tom, I'd ruin him.
0:10:15 > 0:10:17He's all bony and beaky.
0:10:17 > 0:10:19LAUGHING
0:10:19 > 0:10:22Now, we think Tom needs to look inside Sophie's bag
0:10:22 > 0:10:23to get to know the real her.
0:10:23 > 0:10:25But, ladies, how's he going to do that?
0:10:25 > 0:10:28Well, she goes jogging all the time and she don't go with her bag.
0:10:28 > 0:10:29I mean, who jogs with a bag?
0:10:29 > 0:10:33Oh, I think Paula Radcliffe has to now to clean up after herself.
0:10:33 > 0:10:35LAUGHTER
0:10:35 > 0:10:36Oh, naughty!
0:10:36 > 0:10:39So you're saying Tom should break into Sophie's flat
0:10:39 > 0:10:41when she goes jogging. Is that OK?
0:10:44 > 0:10:46- Yeah!- Yeah.- Yeah, it is OK, isn't it?
0:10:46 > 0:10:49- Seems all right by me. - Totally fine, not weird at all.
0:10:49 > 0:10:51So, Tom's breaking into Sophie's flat.
0:10:51 > 0:10:54How's he going to do that?
0:10:54 > 0:10:56The new fire officer.
0:10:56 > 0:10:58And you mentioned keys to all the flats.
0:10:58 > 0:11:01- Oh, yeah, there you go.- Oh, lovely.
0:11:01 > 0:11:02- That's it.- Yeah.
0:11:02 > 0:11:05Six years, you know?
0:11:05 > 0:11:06I'd love to continue but...
0:11:06 > 0:11:10A vote's a vote!
0:11:10 > 0:11:12There's some bad blood between me and number eight.
0:11:12 > 0:11:14- Yeah.- What a time.- Yeah.
0:11:14 > 0:11:16So many memories.
0:11:16 > 0:11:19So many fires.
0:11:19 > 0:11:21The next generation.
0:11:21 > 0:11:22Aww!
0:11:22 > 0:11:24Oh!
0:11:24 > 0:11:26Oh! Ha-ha!
0:11:26 > 0:11:28Do the badge proud
0:11:28 > 0:11:31and never forget the three Ps of being in fire office.
0:11:31 > 0:11:34Prevent, protect and promise not to break into flats.
0:11:34 > 0:11:37Ha-ha! I won't...
0:11:37 > 0:11:38promise to do that.
0:11:40 > 0:11:41Guess what?
0:11:41 > 0:11:44Your sauce is radioactive and you're now infertile?
0:11:44 > 0:11:47My hearing's fine, thanks. Carl's boss wants to buy my sauce.
0:11:47 > 0:11:50Mayonaz is going to be famous.
0:11:50 > 0:11:52- Mmm, what a tasty sauce! - Doesn't work!
0:11:52 > 0:11:54Forget the slogan - I invented a new sauce.
0:11:54 > 0:11:57- What have you done today? - Well, as it happens...
0:11:57 > 0:11:59I'm the new fire officer.
0:11:59 > 0:12:00Aoife picked you? Dammit!
0:12:00 > 0:12:03Yes, sir, she did. I got a badge and a baton,
0:12:03 > 0:12:04a fat old wodge of keys.
0:12:04 > 0:12:07I take my responsibilities very seriously.
0:12:07 > 0:12:10It is my solemn duty to... Oh, Sophie's jogging.
0:12:10 > 0:12:12I'm going to break into her flat.
0:12:12 > 0:12:15Whatever! Soon I'm going to be in my sauce mansion on top of
0:12:15 > 0:12:16the Hollywood sign in America.
0:12:16 > 0:12:19Except now it'll say "Mayonaz!"
0:12:19 > 0:12:22Thank you, Mikey, I needed that.
0:12:22 > 0:12:25It's a bit milky, though.
0:12:25 > 0:12:27You can go now.
0:12:30 > 0:12:34Naz has to make a fresh batch of sauce before pizza guy Carl
0:12:34 > 0:12:36finishes his shift.
0:12:36 > 0:12:37Oh!
0:12:37 > 0:12:40But without Tom's truffle oil, he's had to improvise.
0:12:42 > 0:12:44It's certainly stickier than the last one.
0:12:48 > 0:12:50You've ruined your apron, you plum.
0:12:50 > 0:12:54Naz's second batch is a blend of other sauces, Haribo,
0:12:54 > 0:12:56shower gel and brake fluid.
0:12:56 > 0:12:58VOMITING
0:13:02 > 0:13:04It tastes too...
0:13:04 > 0:13:05Brake fluidy?
0:13:05 > 0:13:07It's missing an ingredient.
0:13:07 > 0:13:10This is not Mayonaz.
0:13:10 > 0:13:12Dammit.
0:13:13 > 0:13:15- BOTH:- Tom's truffle oil!
0:13:15 > 0:13:17But you'll never make it to Truffles and back in time.
0:13:17 > 0:13:19Tom's got it!
0:13:19 > 0:13:20But where is he?
0:13:24 > 0:13:27# When he hears the fire bell chime
0:13:27 > 0:13:31# Fireman Tom commits a trespass crime
0:13:31 > 0:13:32FIRE BELL CHIMES
0:13:32 > 0:13:34# Fireman Tom. #
0:13:42 > 0:13:43Yes!
0:13:43 > 0:13:45Yes!
0:13:45 > 0:13:47- Oh, the bag! - APPLAUSE
0:13:51 > 0:13:52DOOR SLAMS
0:13:54 > 0:13:57What are you doing in here? You're trespassing.
0:13:57 > 0:13:58Where is your truffle oil?
0:13:58 > 0:14:00Oh, you're not getting it, so just go away!
0:14:00 > 0:14:02DOOR OPENS
0:14:02 > 0:14:03- Oh!- Oh, my...
0:14:05 > 0:14:08- Tom!- Hello.
0:14:08 > 0:14:11- Why are you in my flat? - I'm the new fire officer.
0:14:11 > 0:14:16- Aoife picked you?- Yeah, so I'm just doing some checks for fire.
0:14:16 > 0:14:18Checks. Remember the three Ps -
0:14:18 > 0:14:20Project, prevent and...
0:14:20 > 0:14:22Erm, the two Ps.
0:14:22 > 0:14:24Whoa, whoa, whoa! Look at my badge!
0:14:24 > 0:14:28Look at that! And my baton. Got one of these...
0:14:28 > 0:14:29You carry a lot of phallic objects.
0:14:29 > 0:14:32Yeah, well, tell me about it.
0:14:32 > 0:14:34I carry one all the time.
0:14:34 > 0:14:36- Erm...- (Whoa!)
0:14:36 > 0:14:38What would be great, Soph, is if you could get the fire
0:14:38 > 0:14:41regulations instructions document that we're all provided with.
0:14:41 > 0:14:45- You know the fire document? Do you have that fire document? - Erm...
0:14:48 > 0:14:51We really need the document. That fire...
0:14:51 > 0:14:53You know the paperwork, yeah?
0:14:53 > 0:14:56- Yeah, well, I'll go have a look. - Have a little rummage.
0:14:59 > 0:15:01- (She's throwing shoes at me.)- Tom!
0:15:04 > 0:15:08When was the last time you flameproofed your arch?
0:15:08 > 0:15:11Erm, because the arch is a very flammable shape.
0:15:11 > 0:15:14The flames, kind of, congregate... It's technical.
0:15:14 > 0:15:17Would my tenancy agreement be OK?
0:15:17 > 0:15:20- Yeah! Get that.- OK.
0:15:21 > 0:15:24- (Where is the truffle oil?!) - (Go away!)
0:15:24 > 0:15:26(Your flirting is making me sick.)
0:15:26 > 0:15:28(Not as sick as your sauce made me.)
0:15:28 > 0:15:30GROANING
0:15:30 > 0:15:33- Oh, no!- What?! What?!
0:15:33 > 0:15:37Tom! Is this it?
0:15:37 > 0:15:39Hello.
0:15:39 > 0:15:42- Oh, making yourself comfortable on my new chair?- Is it new?
0:15:42 > 0:15:44It was imported from Italy.
0:15:44 > 0:15:46Ha!
0:15:46 > 0:15:49That's it, is it? Good. Well, just...
0:15:52 > 0:15:55- There we go.- OK.- I'm going to read through this thoroughly.
0:15:55 > 0:15:58- Does it smell weird in here? - Dot the i's and cross of the t's.
0:15:58 > 0:16:01It's kind of like a minty Haribo.
0:16:01 > 0:16:03I've also got to dot the j's and cross the f's.
0:16:03 > 0:16:06Because if you don't cross an F, it can look like an L -
0:16:06 > 0:16:08and you can get into all sorts of difficulties.
0:16:08 > 0:16:10Or dillicufties - if you get it wrong.
0:16:10 > 0:16:12OK, I'm going to have a shower.
0:16:14 > 0:16:18So... You can just let yourself out.
0:16:18 > 0:16:22- Absolutely, yeah, I will do that.- OK.- Yeah.
0:16:22 > 0:16:23Bye!
0:16:29 > 0:16:32- (I'm stuck to the chair!) - Oh, it is quite sticky.
0:16:32 > 0:16:34Oh, Naz!
0:16:34 > 0:16:37You've got to buy me some time. Erm... Oh, set off the fire alarm.
0:16:37 > 0:16:39What about the oil de truffle?
0:16:39 > 0:16:41- Oh, I gave it to Mikey!- OK.
0:16:41 > 0:16:45But, please, set off the fire alarm first, yeah?
0:16:45 > 0:16:47I will definitely do that.
0:16:47 > 0:16:49WHINING
0:16:52 > 0:16:54Mikey, did Tom give you something to hide?
0:16:54 > 0:16:58Yep, he gave me the truffle oil and told me to hide it down my trousers.
0:16:59 > 0:17:00Which I didn't do.
0:17:02 > 0:17:04- It's under the sink.- You stink.
0:17:12 > 0:17:15Agggh!
0:17:15 > 0:17:17Aggghhhhhrrhh!
0:17:31 > 0:17:34This is certainly classic Mayonaz. Well done. The bitterness...
0:17:34 > 0:17:37- OK, I've got to go.- Oh!
0:17:39 > 0:17:41Mmmmm.
0:17:46 > 0:17:48HAIR DRIER BLARES
0:17:50 > 0:17:52Yes!
0:18:04 > 0:18:07- You're still here.- Yes. Annoyingly, yes.
0:18:07 > 0:18:12- There's been some complications. - What complications? Tom?
0:18:12 > 0:18:15Yeah, I was just thinking of what the complications were.
0:18:15 > 0:18:17Oh, come on, work!
0:18:18 > 0:18:19Fire?
0:18:19 > 0:18:23- So?- Fire. - What?- There's a fire.
0:18:23 > 0:18:26- Fire?- In the building. Yeah, you've got to evacuate.
0:18:32 > 0:18:35FIRE BELL RINGS Yes, see, a fire!
0:18:35 > 0:18:38- A real fire! I told you! Go! Go! Evacuate! Go!- What about you?
0:18:38 > 0:18:40Well, a fire officer must go down with his building.
0:18:40 > 0:18:42- But my stuff! - No, no, no time for that.
0:18:42 > 0:18:47- Oh, oh, time for that! But leave all personal possessions!- Ah, OK!
0:18:47 > 0:18:49No, leave them a little bit closer!
0:18:49 > 0:18:51HE GROANS
0:18:54 > 0:18:56I understand I'm not the official fire officer
0:18:56 > 0:18:58but please pay attention.
0:18:58 > 0:19:02Has anyone seen anything hot and orange?
0:19:02 > 0:19:05Second, has anyone seen the document that's supposed
0:19:05 > 0:19:07to go on this clipboard?
0:19:07 > 0:19:08FIRE BELL CONTINUES TO RING
0:19:08 > 0:19:10GROANING
0:19:10 > 0:19:12Oh, what took you so long?
0:19:12 > 0:19:15Apparently the only way to set fire alarms off is to head-butt them.
0:19:15 > 0:19:17- Try this, it tastes amazing. - No way!
0:19:17 > 0:19:19Get your fingers out of my mouth.
0:19:21 > 0:19:23- There are no words. - That's the slogan!
0:19:23 > 0:19:26Mayonaz - get your fingers out my mouth.
0:19:26 > 0:19:30Naz, I take it all back. Your sauce is amazing!
0:19:31 > 0:19:33Oh, it's... It's nothing.
0:19:33 > 0:19:37Oh, yes! Oh, yes, Nazzy!
0:19:37 > 0:19:39Quick, we've not got much time before the fire alarm...
0:19:39 > 0:19:41FIRE ALARM STOPS
0:19:41 > 0:19:44- Shh, the fire alarm's stopped. - I know.
0:19:44 > 0:19:47I realise this fire is an inconvenience.
0:19:47 > 0:19:50I myself was supposed to be taking my nephew to Thorpe Park today.
0:19:50 > 0:19:52Do not return to the site of a blaze!
0:19:52 > 0:19:55Oh, Tom, people are coming back in.
0:19:55 > 0:19:57Ah, we've got to stop them!
0:19:57 > 0:20:00Quickly! Naz, help me, mate! Please!
0:20:00 > 0:20:02GROANING
0:20:02 > 0:20:06# When he hears the fire bell chime...
0:20:06 > 0:20:11Aggh! It's so sticky! Keep going, Naz! Keep going!
0:20:11 > 0:20:13# Fireman Tom commits a trespass crime. #
0:20:15 > 0:20:18- Do you smell smoke? - Oh, that's just the fire.
0:20:18 > 0:20:21- Huh?!- I started a fire so that people wouldn't come back in.
0:20:21 > 0:20:22What?!
0:20:22 > 0:20:24- BOTH:- Agggrrrh!
0:20:24 > 0:20:26# When he hears a fire bell chime
0:20:26 > 0:20:28Agggrrrh!
0:20:28 > 0:20:32# Fireman Tom commits an arson crime
0:20:32 > 0:20:33# Fireman Tom! #
0:20:42 > 0:20:44I thought you were ready.
0:20:44 > 0:20:45I was wrong.
0:20:45 > 0:20:48- I'm available.- No!
0:20:50 > 0:20:52Marc Jacobs. It's ruined.
0:20:52 > 0:20:55- Oh!- Do you think this is funny?
0:20:55 > 0:20:57You guys, you're all the same.
0:20:57 > 0:21:00You know, you think one's nice and then something like this happens.
0:21:00 > 0:21:03You know, you lie and you scheme and in the end I'm the one left
0:21:03 > 0:21:05standing, like, getting dumped at a Drake concert.
0:21:07 > 0:21:09So you do like Drake?
0:21:14 > 0:21:18Coming up... Tom finally sees in Sophie's bag.
0:21:19 > 0:21:20Eh...
0:21:20 > 0:21:22Mike focuses on recovery.
0:21:22 > 0:21:25How does brake fluid just disappear?
0:21:26 > 0:21:29Mayonaz becomes huge in Japan.
0:21:29 > 0:21:31Pizza Mustard!
0:21:31 > 0:21:34But only in Naz' head as it's revealed as a toxic hallucinogen.
0:21:34 > 0:21:37Pizza Mustard! Doo-dee-doo-dee-doo.
0:21:39 > 0:21:41This is Flat News.
0:22:05 > 0:22:07Pizza Mustard!
0:22:09 > 0:22:11Ahhh!
0:22:11 > 0:22:13Hee!