0:00:02 > 0:00:05This programme contains some strong language
0:00:05 > 0:00:07- Where's the rock?- What rock?
0:00:07 > 0:00:09- The spare key rock.- I don't know what you're talking about.
0:00:09 > 0:00:11The spare key rock - so when I forget my key,
0:00:11 > 0:00:13I can use the key inside the spare key rock.
0:00:13 > 0:00:16- Oh, Jonathan Rock. - Yeah, goes next to the phone.
0:00:16 > 0:00:18- Yeah, I threw him in the bin. - What?! No moving the rock!
0:00:18 > 0:00:21- It's a rule.- I wanted to return him to his natural habitat.
0:00:21 > 0:00:24- What, the bin?- No, but from the bin he goes into the landfill,
0:00:24 > 0:00:25then into the ground, into the sea
0:00:25 > 0:00:28and then he gives birth to a pebble. It's the rock cycle, Tom!
0:00:28 > 0:00:30Oh, it's going to be down in the dumpster.
0:00:30 > 0:00:32The phrase is, "down in the dumps"
0:00:32 > 0:00:35and I'm sure Jonathan will feel better soon.
0:00:35 > 0:00:37DOOR CLOSES
0:00:37 > 0:00:39- Have you got your key? - Mine are inside.
0:00:39 > 0:00:42Don't we normally keep a spare around here?
0:00:42 > 0:00:43TOM SIGHS
0:00:49 > 0:00:51This is Flat News -
0:00:51 > 0:00:54as flatmates move to a sixth minute of being locked out
0:00:54 > 0:00:56without their keys, wallets or phones.
0:00:56 > 0:00:59- I've got a phone.- Oh, do you? - Oh, it's dead.
0:00:59 > 0:01:01The headlines...
0:01:04 > 0:01:08Naz has been ignoring my flat rules.
0:01:08 > 0:01:12No throwing! No eating my food!
0:01:12 > 0:01:14No throwing my phone!
0:01:14 > 0:01:16Don't you ever, ever use my mug!
0:01:16 > 0:01:20- It's just a mug. - Scum, you're absolute scum!
0:01:20 > 0:01:22Now to Naz with the sport.
0:01:22 > 0:01:23Thanks, Tom.
0:01:23 > 0:01:25Antique value estimation fans
0:01:25 > 0:01:27prepare for the showpiece fixture
0:01:27 > 0:01:29of the season, as Tom plays Naz
0:01:29 > 0:01:32in the Antiques Roadshow Cup this evening.
0:01:32 > 0:01:34Of course, Naz won controversially
0:01:34 > 0:01:35last year with a remarkably
0:01:35 > 0:01:37precise guess.
0:01:37 > 0:01:38How about £5,000?
0:01:38 > 0:01:41- About £5,000.- Oh!- Yes!- What?!
0:01:41 > 0:01:43Her daughter Michelle will be a happy bunny.
0:01:43 > 0:01:46Our daughter Michelle is going to be a happy bunny.
0:01:46 > 0:01:48- Did you Sky+ this? - No, I didn't. Tom.
0:01:48 > 0:01:50Yes, you did.
0:01:50 > 0:01:51Very much looking forward to the
0:01:51 > 0:01:53Roadshow if we ever get back in.
0:01:53 > 0:01:54In lift talk, pressing concerns that
0:01:54 > 0:01:56beautiful new neighbour
0:01:56 > 0:01:57Sophie might think that
0:01:57 > 0:01:58I hate the homeless.
0:01:58 > 0:02:00There's a couple of guys sleeping rough outside
0:02:00 > 0:02:03the office at the moment and we're having a massive party tonight...
0:02:03 > 0:02:04I will gladly kick them out the way.
0:02:04 > 0:02:07..to raise money for the local shelter.
0:02:09 > 0:02:10Hmmm.
0:02:10 > 0:02:12Finally, busybody neighbour Aoife
0:02:12 > 0:02:13is really annoyed at us
0:02:13 > 0:02:15because we didn't turn up to her
0:02:15 > 0:02:16murder mystery evening.
0:02:16 > 0:02:20Tom was the murderer. Without him it was just a mystery evening.
0:02:20 > 0:02:24We didn't catch the murderer. He's still out there, Michael.
0:02:24 > 0:02:25They're not in.
0:02:27 > 0:02:28Just don't want to have to
0:02:28 > 0:02:29deal with that.
0:02:29 > 0:02:32- Doesn't Aoife have a spare key? - Oh, yeah.
0:02:32 > 0:02:34We cold ask her to let us in.
0:02:34 > 0:02:37Well, I guess it's either that or rummage round the dumpster.
0:02:39 > 0:02:42- Good call.- Yeah.
0:02:44 > 0:02:47The race to get back into the flat continues...
0:02:47 > 0:02:52- Here on I'm Not A Celebrity... - BOTH:- Get Me Into My Flat!
0:02:54 > 0:02:58I'M A CELEBRITY THEME
0:03:04 > 0:03:07- Tom, Naz, good afternoon.- Hello.- Hi.
0:03:07 > 0:03:12- Haway!- Now, this is the Dumpster Of Doom.
0:03:12 > 0:03:14In there is the key to your flat.
0:03:14 > 0:03:16- But remember, you won't be alone in there.- Ho-ho!
0:03:16 > 0:03:18Remember, if you want to quit just shout,
0:03:18 > 0:03:20"I'm not a celebrity, get me into my flat!"
0:03:20 > 0:03:23- I'm not a celebrity, get me into my flat!- We haven't even started yet.
0:03:23 > 0:03:25Well, you've lost it, you get it.
0:03:25 > 0:03:26Aye, he's right. Ha-ha!
0:03:28 > 0:03:31OK, Naz, you've only got two minutes in there before you vomit.
0:03:31 > 0:03:33Get in that stinky bin, pet.
0:03:33 > 0:03:35BUZZER BLARES
0:03:35 > 0:03:37- NAZ EXHALES - In you go.
0:03:41 > 0:03:43Naz, what's in the first bin bag?
0:03:43 > 0:03:45I'm going for it!
0:03:46 > 0:03:48HE SCREAMS
0:03:48 > 0:03:52- Oh, is that couscous? - No, that's maggots.
0:03:52 > 0:03:54- Yeah, you're right.- Ha-ha!
0:03:54 > 0:03:57- I like his couscous.- I know.
0:03:57 > 0:03:58I've had one mouthful...
0:04:00 > 0:04:02..two mouthfuls...
0:04:02 > 0:04:04three mouthfuls now.
0:04:04 > 0:04:07Naz, you're doing the wrong challenge! The key!
0:04:07 > 0:04:08Oh, yeah, all right.
0:04:08 > 0:04:11- Crack onto that second bin bag.- OK!
0:04:15 > 0:04:18OK, next bin bag.
0:04:18 > 0:04:20NAZ SCREAMS
0:04:20 > 0:04:23Oh, no! Dirty nappies.
0:04:23 > 0:04:25And a face full of bin juice.
0:04:25 > 0:04:27THEY LAUGH
0:04:27 > 0:04:29- Oh, I love you.- I love you.
0:04:29 > 0:04:33- OK, I'm coming up for air. - No, you're not!
0:04:33 > 0:04:36- Get that key!- Yeah, get that key, you scummy bastard.
0:04:36 > 0:04:38Hang on, I think I see our bin bag.
0:04:38 > 0:04:41Ha-ha, yes!
0:04:41 > 0:04:43NAZ SCREAMS
0:04:43 > 0:04:45Oh, no, it's Mikey's tissues!
0:04:45 > 0:04:48Oh, they're all sticky...
0:04:48 > 0:04:49and a bit salty.
0:04:49 > 0:04:52Who has salty snot?
0:04:52 > 0:04:53THEY GROAN
0:04:53 > 0:04:55Hang on, I see the rock. I see the rock!
0:04:55 > 0:04:58- Hurry up!- I've got the key! I've got the key!
0:04:58 > 0:05:00- Yes, I got the key!- Whoo!
0:05:00 > 0:05:02And a free potato.
0:05:02 > 0:05:04I mean, that is weird, but woo-hoo!
0:05:04 > 0:05:06- BOTH:- Roadshow!
0:05:06 > 0:05:09No, no throwing!
0:05:09 > 0:05:12It's gone in the drain! This is why there's a rule.
0:05:12 > 0:05:14Well, maybe there should be a rule about not dropping
0:05:14 > 0:05:17- things like a little old bitch. - That would be impossible to enforce.
0:05:17 > 0:05:20- Oh, you're such a control freak. - I'm not a control freak, OK?
0:05:20 > 0:05:23- I eat Revels.- After you've weighed them and removed the coffee ones.
0:05:23 > 0:05:24You'd marry control if you could,
0:05:24 > 0:05:27except it would probably leave you because you're too controlling.
0:05:27 > 0:05:30- OK, stay outside without me.- Look, look...- But don't come running to me
0:05:30 > 0:05:33- when you get bummed by street bandits.- Street bandits aren't real.
0:05:33 > 0:05:36Oh, they are! They're real and they are bumming tonight.
0:05:45 > 0:05:47- Hello?- Hi, yeah, this is Tom from flat 27.
0:05:47 > 0:05:50Can you buzz me in, please?
0:05:50 > 0:05:52You killed my cat!
0:05:52 > 0:05:54Not deliberately.
0:05:54 > 0:05:56Could you buzz me in, please?
0:05:56 > 0:05:59- Didn't you kill that old lady's cat? - Well...
0:05:59 > 0:06:02She loved that cat.
0:06:02 > 0:06:03Hello?
0:06:03 > 0:06:06HE MIMICS PHIL: Oh, hello, it's Phil from flat nine.
0:06:06 > 0:06:08- Can you buzz me in, please?- Ahem.
0:06:11 > 0:06:14- That's not cool, man. - Hey, Phil, can you let me in?- No.
0:06:21 > 0:06:24Street bandits!
0:06:24 > 0:06:26I know your game.
0:06:26 > 0:06:28Why are you in the hedge?
0:06:28 > 0:06:31Jesus Christ, Carl! I thought you were a street bandit.
0:06:31 > 0:06:35Bruv, street bandits don't start bumming until about eight.
0:06:35 > 0:06:38Whoa, wow, bruv! Whoa, you stink!
0:06:38 > 0:06:40What's going on?
0:06:40 > 0:06:43Tom's left me outside because I keep breaking his rules.
0:06:43 > 0:06:45That's dark, man.
0:06:45 > 0:06:46Anyway, have some of this.
0:06:46 > 0:06:49Oh, porky beef!
0:06:49 > 0:06:51- Hang on, is it cool for me to eat this?- Not really.
0:06:51 > 0:06:54It's just some little dickhead's.
0:06:54 > 0:06:57Look, man, I really need to get back in the flat.
0:06:57 > 0:07:01An unshackled man doesn't return to the prison from where he escaped.
0:07:01 > 0:07:04- You smell that?- My pongy bin smell?
0:07:04 > 0:07:05No, the smell of freedom!
0:07:07 > 0:07:09From tyranny, from oppression,
0:07:09 > 0:07:13from he who's denied you your basic human rights for so long.
0:07:13 > 0:07:15- Like no throwing red meat. - Like no throwing red meat.
0:07:15 > 0:07:18- I like the sound it makes. - He likes the sound it makes.
0:07:18 > 0:07:23That is your basic human right given to you by Zeus.
0:07:23 > 0:07:27- Zeus?- Son of Cronus. And no one will take that away.
0:07:29 > 0:07:34- No-one!- Yeah! - I mean, Tom does have a point.
0:07:35 > 0:07:37But it's time to set yourself free.
0:07:37 > 0:07:39Show him that you can live without his rules.
0:07:39 > 0:07:44Right here, outside, where the only laws are the laws of nature, bruv.
0:07:44 > 0:07:50- What are they?- Respect the majesty and silent beauty of the elements.
0:07:51 > 0:07:54Bury your shits.
0:07:54 > 0:07:55Any more?
0:07:56 > 0:07:58Don't fuck animals.
0:07:58 > 0:08:00That's a good rule.
0:08:04 > 0:08:05I live outside now.
0:08:05 > 0:08:07DOG BARKS
0:08:07 > 0:08:09Greetings, fellow outdoorsman.
0:08:09 > 0:08:11- Don't fuck it!- Yep!
0:08:18 > 0:08:21I'm Naz, I've served with the Boy Scouts,
0:08:21 > 0:08:24I've also served in restaurants.
0:08:24 > 0:08:26Once I ran to Burger King in a storm
0:08:26 > 0:08:29wearing only flip-flops and a Swatch.
0:08:29 > 0:08:32Every year thousands of people get locked out
0:08:32 > 0:08:35and I'm going to show you how to survive in one of the most
0:08:35 > 0:08:39dangerous, unforgiving environments in Britain.
0:08:39 > 0:08:41- Outside the flat. - HORN BEEPS
0:08:41 > 0:08:43Sorry!
0:08:43 > 0:08:47I'm going to be taking locked-out situations to the breaking point.
0:08:47 > 0:08:49Nettles, nettles, nettles.
0:08:49 > 0:08:52Exploring the most unforgiving of terrain.
0:08:52 > 0:08:55I'll be showing you how to survive...
0:08:55 > 0:08:56Just like that, bin tea.
0:08:58 > 0:09:03..by using anything and everything at your disposable.
0:09:03 > 0:09:05This used to be a vegetable sack.
0:09:05 > 0:09:08Now, it's a hat sack. That's factor 50.
0:09:08 > 0:09:11Giving you survival tips which could save your life.
0:09:11 > 0:09:15Passing out is dangerous because you're passed out.
0:09:15 > 0:09:18Showing you how easy it is to make the wrong decision.
0:09:18 > 0:09:20That is not good water!
0:09:21 > 0:09:22This is not food.
0:09:22 > 0:09:26As well as letting you in on some of my unorthodox methods.
0:09:26 > 0:09:28Now, it may look like somewhere good to camp,
0:09:28 > 0:09:31but actually these logs are good for just throwing.
0:09:31 > 0:09:35Surviving alongside some of the most dangerous wildlife on the planet.
0:09:35 > 0:09:38HE SCREAMS
0:09:38 > 0:09:40Termites! Oh, God!
0:09:40 > 0:09:42They're on me, they're on me!
0:09:42 > 0:09:45And pushing myself to the absolute limit.
0:09:45 > 0:09:48Now, I have to find shelter, and fast, to protect
0:09:48 > 0:09:51myself from the awesome power of the elements.
0:10:06 > 0:10:09Oh, hey, Tom. This is my new place.
0:10:09 > 0:10:12I've got my own phone, that's my piss - I assume.
0:10:12 > 0:10:16- Get out of the way, I'm ringing Mikey.- Please, no rules here.
0:10:19 > 0:10:21Bin tea?
0:10:21 > 0:10:24Mikey, yeah, listen, where the hell are you? We're locked out, OK?
0:10:24 > 0:10:26I don't care...
0:10:26 > 0:10:29Sorry, do you take gravel?
0:10:29 > 0:10:31That was my last change!
0:10:35 > 0:10:37You deserve to be living out here. You are scum, scum!
0:10:37 > 0:10:40Hey, Sophie! How are you? No...
0:10:40 > 0:10:44Oh, no, he's not... He's not homeless!
0:10:44 > 0:10:46That was Sophie! TOM GROANS
0:10:46 > 0:10:50- You look like a smelly hobo! - Oh, don't be so hobo-phobic.
0:10:50 > 0:10:51You can't live in a phone box.
0:10:51 > 0:10:54Oh, here we go, Geoffrey Stalin, spitting out his rules again.
0:10:54 > 0:10:56You know what? I'm doing just fine without you.
0:10:56 > 0:10:58Looks like it! How was your potato, by the way?
0:10:58 > 0:11:01- Free from your tyranny. - Oh, you want to be free, Naz?
0:11:01 > 0:11:04OK, here's a rule, no Naz in the flat.
0:11:04 > 0:11:08- What?- Yeah, yeah, you're kicked out.- You can't do that.
0:11:08 > 0:11:11I just did, mate, for ever. You are not coming back.
0:11:11 > 0:11:14One hour from now, I'm going to be sat on the sofa by myself with
0:11:14 > 0:11:16a nice soya hot chocolate eating a Bakewell.
0:11:16 > 0:11:18I ate your Bakewells.
0:11:18 > 0:11:20Never eat my food!
0:11:20 > 0:11:22Oh, I tell you what else I'm going to be doing -
0:11:22 > 0:11:25I'm going to be watching the Antiques Roadshow.
0:11:25 > 0:11:27Well, I'll be watching it, too, on the pavement with
0:11:27 > 0:11:30an iced bin tea, in front of Currys!
0:11:30 > 0:11:32With no sound! Animal!
0:11:39 > 0:11:41I can't believe he kicked me out.
0:11:41 > 0:11:44What do you think I should do, Potatom?
0:11:46 > 0:11:51Hmm, you're right. We need to find somewhere to live.
0:11:56 > 0:12:00This week we're in the leafy area of outside the flat,
0:12:00 > 0:12:04helping this contemporary couple find the shelter of their dreams.
0:12:04 > 0:12:09Naz, an unemployed ham enthusiast, and Potatom, a potato, have been
0:12:09 > 0:12:13together for nearly two hours, since their special relationship began.
0:12:13 > 0:12:16We met in a bin, actually, so...
0:12:16 > 0:12:19We'll be looking at a wide range of alternatives outside the flat,
0:12:19 > 0:12:24but which option will catch Potatom's crudely drawn-on eyes?
0:12:24 > 0:12:27Ideally, we'd want some sort of protection from the elements,
0:12:27 > 0:12:29just in case, you know, we ever
0:12:29 > 0:12:31decided to settle down and have chips.
0:12:32 > 0:12:34Ha-ha, talk about a sweet potato!
0:12:34 > 0:12:39But now it's full spud ahead with our property search.
0:12:39 > 0:12:42Our first location is this timber-framed ground floor condo
0:12:42 > 0:12:45with stunning waterside view -
0:12:45 > 0:12:49complete with an open-plan terrace to enjoy alfresco cocktails
0:12:49 > 0:12:51and a rich, rich history.
0:12:53 > 0:12:57But is it right for our fledgling couple, who want to starch a family?
0:12:58 > 0:13:01Naz is clearly impressed with the versatility
0:13:01 > 0:13:02of the entertaining space.
0:13:02 > 0:13:06But no protection from the elements means concerns from Potatom,
0:13:06 > 0:13:10who needs to be stored in a cool, dry place.
0:13:10 > 0:13:14It's a no to the bench, but will our second property impress?
0:13:14 > 0:13:18This rustic Victorian cottage is overflowing with charm.
0:13:19 > 0:13:23With nine en-suite bathrooms and a thriving local arts scene,
0:13:23 > 0:13:28let's hope Potatom finds this property appealing.
0:13:28 > 0:13:31Now, Naz and Potatom aren't the only ones interested,
0:13:31 > 0:13:34and with its welcoming entrance and large communal area,
0:13:34 > 0:13:38they'll have trouble keeping this property to themselves.
0:13:38 > 0:13:41- How is this a cottage? - You don't want to know.
0:13:41 > 0:13:43It's a no to the toilet.
0:13:43 > 0:13:46Our carbohydrate couple have to keep chipping away.
0:13:46 > 0:13:49Our final property is this detached,
0:13:49 > 0:13:53recently converted, former gallery space with retractable roof.
0:13:53 > 0:13:55With its modern functional style,
0:13:55 > 0:13:58it comes with its own furniture and fittings.
0:13:58 > 0:14:00Will our couple like the skip,
0:14:00 > 0:14:02or will they find it pomme de terrible?
0:14:02 > 0:14:03This is great.
0:14:03 > 0:14:08I love rubbish, plus it's a bit like living in a convertible tank.
0:14:10 > 0:14:11Oh, stop it!
0:14:11 > 0:14:13Ha-ha, no!
0:14:16 > 0:14:20- Are you all right, mate?- Yes, what? - New around here, are you?
0:14:20 > 0:14:23- My name's Jules.- Naz.
0:14:23 > 0:14:27- This is Potatom.- OK.
0:14:27 > 0:14:29Eh, you got shelter for tonight?
0:14:29 > 0:14:31We thought we'd just set up camp here.
0:14:32 > 0:14:34It's a skip, mate.
0:14:34 > 0:14:37Well, a former gallery space, but pot-ay-tom, pot-ah-tom.
0:14:38 > 0:14:41Look, why don't you just come with me? We've got a place up the road.
0:14:41 > 0:14:43- Really, can I bring...?- No.
0:14:50 > 0:14:52HE SIGHS
0:14:55 > 0:14:58Well, I hope you're happy, Tom, because you ruined what would have
0:14:58 > 0:15:00been some stunning interactive living-room theatre.
0:15:00 > 0:15:02I'm sorry, OK? Can I just get the key?
0:15:02 > 0:15:04You were supposed to be the schizophrenic monocle vet
0:15:04 > 0:15:07with ties to Nazi Gold - Joseph Gerbils.
0:15:07 > 0:15:10Nobody was there to investigate the mysterious Egyptian relic.
0:15:10 > 0:15:13Nobody went into the caves with General Jick-Fitzwell.
0:15:13 > 0:15:16- Right...- Naz was supposed to be the Chinese ambassador Ubin Fartin.
0:15:16 > 0:15:20But was he there to reveal the forged Faberge egg?
0:15:20 > 0:15:23No, because the only eggs present were my famous Scotch eggs,
0:15:23 > 0:15:26which nobody ate because the whole evening was a write-off.
0:15:26 > 0:15:32Do you have any idea how much dip I had to throw into the street?
0:15:33 > 0:15:36- No, I...- Your flatmate Michael was there because, unlike you,
0:15:36 > 0:15:40he's a gentleman and a convincing French countess.
0:15:42 > 0:15:43Look, I'm sorry, OK?
0:15:43 > 0:15:45I promise, if you give me the key,
0:15:45 > 0:15:47we'll have a murder mystery party tomorrow.
0:15:47 > 0:15:49- Oh, that would be grand.- Yeah?- Yeah.
0:15:49 > 0:15:51OK, great, so can I just get the...
0:15:51 > 0:15:54- One thing I'll say...- No, no... - He's not an out and out Nazi,
0:15:54 > 0:15:57- but he likes them blonde, if you know what I mean?- There we go. Yeah, cheers.
0:15:57 > 0:16:02If you could wear the monocle and get a little gerbil.
0:16:02 > 0:16:05I'M A CELEBRITY THEME
0:16:06 > 0:16:10OK, Tom, for this trial, all you've got to do is use your key to...
0:16:14 > 0:16:16Bastard.
0:16:16 > 0:16:18HE EXHALES
0:16:18 > 0:16:21CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYS
0:16:27 > 0:16:31You're looking at somewhere in the region of round about £1,500.
0:16:31 > 0:16:33Basically what I said.
0:16:36 > 0:16:40Honestly, I ate the whole traffic cone.
0:16:40 > 0:16:41Yeah, you're weird.
0:16:41 > 0:16:44Hey, you've got a bin-spresso machine.
0:16:44 > 0:16:46Maybe later I'll make myself a binny latte.
0:16:46 > 0:16:49Sure, there are no rules here.
0:16:49 > 0:16:51Cool.
0:16:51 > 0:16:54I've been welcomed into the fold by a tribe of hunter-gatherers.
0:16:54 > 0:16:56They're really inspiring.
0:16:56 > 0:16:58Like me, they've left their homes to escape
0:16:58 > 0:17:01the petty rules of their dickhead flatmate.
0:17:01 > 0:17:04- What?- Just saying it's really cool to meet other people
0:17:04 > 0:17:07- who've chosen not to live in their home.- You've got a home?
0:17:07 > 0:17:10Well, technically Mikey owns it, but I am supposed to pay rent.
0:17:10 > 0:17:13It sucks, though. If you met Tom, you'd know what I mean.
0:17:13 > 0:17:16He doesn't let me use his mug, throw, or eat, his food.
0:17:16 > 0:17:20- I'm glad I chose this. - You've chosen this?
0:17:20 > 0:17:23Well, you guys get it. Living inside is just shit -
0:17:23 > 0:17:25like when you're all hot because the heating's all turned up
0:17:25 > 0:17:29and you can't get out the sofa because you've had too much really nice chocolate,
0:17:29 > 0:17:32and you can't reach the other chocolate because you're just too comfortable.
0:17:32 > 0:17:34You guys know what I'm saying.
0:17:35 > 0:17:40- No?- I think we better teach you a lesson.
0:17:40 > 0:17:43Oh, shit, street bandits.
0:17:43 > 0:17:46Oh, shit! Oh, shit!
0:17:46 > 0:17:49- So its value...- £2,000.
0:17:50 > 0:17:53- About £2,000.- Whoa!
0:17:53 > 0:17:55Bang on! Bang on! Did you... Did you see?
0:18:01 > 0:18:02HE SIGHS
0:18:02 > 0:18:05I'm coming to get you.
0:18:09 > 0:18:12This week we're helping this regretful pedant
0:18:12 > 0:18:14find his best friend.
0:18:17 > 0:18:18Naz?
0:18:18 > 0:18:22But will he be able to find him before the Antiques Roadshow ends?
0:18:26 > 0:18:30Oh, look, he's close. Talk about a couch potato.
0:18:30 > 0:18:33So essentially it's the classic catch-22 of free-market economics.
0:18:33 > 0:18:34Just get it over with.
0:18:34 > 0:18:37You lose your flat because you can't pay your rent and then you can't get
0:18:37 > 0:18:41- a job because you don't have a home. - Oh, stop toying with me and do it.
0:18:41 > 0:18:45- Naz.- Tom, help me!
0:18:45 > 0:18:47- Street bandits. - Your friend's very confused.
0:18:47 > 0:18:51- Shut up, you bum-crazy gutter monster.- Whoa, whoa, Naz, look.
0:18:51 > 0:18:55- Oh, Potatom.- Yeah, we've come to take you home.
0:18:55 > 0:18:57Oh, you saved me.
0:18:57 > 0:19:02- Sorry for being so bossy.- I'm sorry I threw steak at your face.
0:19:02 > 0:19:05I promise to respect your rules, man.
0:19:05 > 0:19:09Some of them are a bit obsessive - some of them. Let's go home.
0:19:09 > 0:19:11What about Potatom?
0:19:11 > 0:19:13You could bring him, but...
0:19:14 > 0:19:17..maybe it's time to let him go.
0:19:20 > 0:19:23You're right. It's time to set you free, little man.
0:19:27 > 0:19:29- Let's go.- Hey!
0:19:29 > 0:19:33Have you forgotten you called me a bum-crazy gutter monster?
0:19:33 > 0:19:35Ah, Naz is very sorry he called you those homophobic slurs.
0:19:35 > 0:19:39- Hobo-phobic.- Just shhh!
0:19:39 > 0:19:41But I think we can make it up to you.
0:19:46 > 0:19:49Oh, Tom, this is amazing of you to throw a party for the homeless.
0:19:49 > 0:19:52Well, you know, an Antiques Roadshow-themed party
0:19:52 > 0:19:55- just seemed relevant.- Sure.
0:19:55 > 0:19:57It's definitely a sweet thing to do.
0:19:57 > 0:19:58Oh, I've got this one, I've got this one!
0:19:58 > 0:20:00That is an original Thomas Best of London,
0:20:00 > 0:20:04all brass-mounted, enamel dials.
0:20:04 > 0:20:07- Now, I'm going to go for 17.5K. - THEY EXHALE
0:20:07 > 0:20:09It would be in the order of £15-£20,000.
0:20:12 > 0:20:15- Go, Team Hobo! - Don't, don't call us that.
0:20:15 > 0:20:17- Hobo United!- That's not better.
0:20:17 > 0:20:21- I'll work on it.- Can me.- Whoa, whoa, guys, no throwing, please.
0:20:21 > 0:20:25That's one of Tom's flat rules. So can we please respect that?
0:20:25 > 0:20:28That's all right. I'm chilled.
0:20:28 > 0:20:31- Sure?- Yeah, yeah, he's just having fun. Can me.
0:20:31 > 0:20:33HE SCREAMS
0:20:33 > 0:20:34I may not have followed the rule,
0:20:34 > 0:20:36but it doesn't matter. That's going to bruise
0:20:36 > 0:20:39but it doesn't matter. I just care about the homeless.
0:20:39 > 0:20:41On that note, Tom, I've really got to go.
0:20:41 > 0:20:43I've got an early start tomorrow -
0:20:43 > 0:20:45I'm volunteering down at the refugee centre.
0:20:45 > 0:20:48Well, we should get some of those guys down here for some
0:20:48 > 0:20:50- Bargain Hunt or something.- Yeah.
0:20:51 > 0:20:53- Bye.- Oh, see you later. Thanks for coming.
0:20:56 > 0:20:59OK, probably just start wrapping this up now.
0:20:59 > 0:21:02You are just eating that... That does say Tom, doesn't it?
0:21:02 > 0:21:04So you can put that down. Yeah, and that.
0:21:04 > 0:21:05Probably just put that back in that.
0:21:05 > 0:21:08Oh, you're just dipping your fingers in, straight in, are you?
0:21:08 > 0:21:11With your fingers. Looks like they haven't been washed
0:21:11 > 0:21:12since Thomas Best was making clocks.
0:21:12 > 0:21:14Who wants bacon?
0:21:16 > 0:21:18Naz, Naz, none of that. No, no!
0:21:18 > 0:21:21No! No! No using my mug!
0:21:21 > 0:21:23No throwing, no eating my food! You are scum!
0:21:23 > 0:21:27Absolute scum!!
0:21:27 > 0:21:30Erm, I forgot my phone.
0:21:39 > 0:21:43Coming up... Naz invents a new cocktail.
0:21:43 > 0:21:44Bintini, anyone?
0:21:44 > 0:21:48Mikey returns home to a surprise.
0:21:48 > 0:21:50I sleep here now.
0:21:50 > 0:21:53And flatmates reluctantly make it up to Aoife.
0:21:53 > 0:21:55There's been a murder!
0:21:55 > 0:21:58THEY SIGH
0:21:58 > 0:21:59I've already done this.
0:21:59 > 0:22:01This is Flat News.