0:00:02 > 0:00:05Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Frankie Boyle!
0:00:05 > 0:00:08This programme contains very strong language and adult humour.
0:00:08 > 0:00:10CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:00:22 > 0:00:26Hello, and welcome to the 2017 New World Order Review Of The Year.
0:00:26 > 0:00:29And it's been an eventful year.
0:00:29 > 0:00:32Theresa May looks crushed, doesn't she?
0:00:32 > 0:00:34Her body language is amazing.
0:00:34 > 0:00:38I didn't realise it was possible to limp with both legs.
0:00:38 > 0:00:40AUDIENCE LAUGH
0:00:40 > 0:00:43Those necklaces keep getting bigger, as well.
0:00:43 > 0:00:46She looks like the worst prize on a hoopla stall
0:00:46 > 0:00:49run by the Wu-Tang Clan.
0:00:49 > 0:00:51AUDIENCE LAUGH
0:00:51 > 0:00:54It's been a year of sexual assault allegations.
0:00:54 > 0:00:58Harvey Weinstein checked himself into rehab on a ranch.
0:00:58 > 0:01:02I think the last thing this world needs is Harvey Weinstein
0:01:02 > 0:01:05learning how to use a lasso.
0:01:05 > 0:01:06AUDIENCE LAUGH
0:01:06 > 0:01:10"Harvey! Harvey, that's not how you mount a horse!"
0:01:10 > 0:01:11AUDIENCE LAUGH
0:01:11 > 0:01:14They've got yoga therapy at this sex clinic
0:01:14 > 0:01:16they're all checking themselves into.
0:01:16 > 0:01:18I don't think we want any of these people
0:01:18 > 0:01:20retraining as yoga instructors.
0:01:20 > 0:01:24"Breathe in through your nose and out through my cock."
0:01:24 > 0:01:26AUDIENCE LAUGH
0:01:28 > 0:01:31Kevin Spacey really went for it, didn't he?
0:01:31 > 0:01:36Imagine at this point in history, being adjudged such a sex predator
0:01:36 > 0:01:40that you're not allowed to play the President of the United States.
0:01:40 > 0:01:42AUDIENCE LAUGH
0:01:42 > 0:01:44AUDIENCE APPLAUD
0:01:45 > 0:01:49It amazes me, really, that Donald Trump hasn't been assassinated.
0:01:49 > 0:01:52Especially when you consider quite a lot of his security
0:01:52 > 0:01:56are concentrating on stopping Melania from making a break for it.
0:01:56 > 0:01:57AUDIENCE LAUGH
0:01:57 > 0:02:02Trump's loved by the Klu Klux Klan and by evangelical Christians.
0:02:02 > 0:02:05Which is strange because he's the perfect argument
0:02:05 > 0:02:08both against white supremacy and for abortion.
0:02:08 > 0:02:10AUDIENCE LAUGH
0:02:10 > 0:02:13We had Brexit, led by the least among us,
0:02:13 > 0:02:17Boris Johnson, a sort of malevolent baked Alaska...
0:02:17 > 0:02:19AUDIENCE LAUGH
0:02:19 > 0:02:22..and David Davis, a man who seems to suffer from the same
0:02:22 > 0:02:25lack of imagination as his parents.
0:02:25 > 0:02:27AUDIENCE LAUGH
0:02:30 > 0:02:32Jeremy Corbyn lost the election
0:02:32 > 0:02:35because he couldn't appeal to old people, basically.
0:02:35 > 0:02:38There's nothing about Corbyn that appeals to the elderly.
0:02:38 > 0:02:41What's he got? The support of the grime community
0:02:41 > 0:02:43and a passing resemblance to Harold Shipman.
0:02:43 > 0:02:45AUDIENCE LAUGH
0:02:48 > 0:02:52This year, Britain was the number-three exporter of aid to Yemen.
0:02:52 > 0:02:54There's a famine in the Yemen.
0:02:54 > 0:02:58And at the same time, the number-two seller of arms to Saudi Arabia,
0:02:58 > 0:03:01who are causing the famine in Yemen.
0:03:01 > 0:03:03That's like shooting someone in the face,
0:03:03 > 0:03:05then spooning porridge into the cavity.
0:03:05 > 0:03:08AUDIENCE LAUGH
0:03:08 > 0:03:10Apple launched their new iPhone.
0:03:10 > 0:03:14This one, you unlock with facial recognition.
0:03:14 > 0:03:17My tip is, set it to your cum face.
0:03:17 > 0:03:19AUDIENCE LAUGH
0:03:19 > 0:03:23So that if someone mugs you for your phone, at least they've got to wank you off first.
0:03:23 > 0:03:25AUDIENCE LAUGH
0:03:25 > 0:03:26AUDIENCE APPLAUD
0:03:28 > 0:03:31At the end of the year, we had the announcement of the Royal Wedding.
0:03:31 > 0:03:33We're having a street party with jelly and ice cream.
0:03:33 > 0:03:36Nothing to do with the wedding, we're trying to flush out a local paedophile.
0:03:36 > 0:03:38AUDIENCE LAUGH
0:03:38 > 0:03:41Tonight, we'll be taking a look at the events of the year,
0:03:41 > 0:03:44and joining me to discuss them are Sara Pascoe, Katherine Ryan,
0:03:44 > 0:03:47Miles Jupp and data journalist, Mona Chalabi!
0:03:47 > 0:03:49CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:04:03 > 0:04:04- Hello. GUESTS:- Hi.
0:04:04 > 0:04:07Now, tonight, I'll be making a proposition that sums up
0:04:07 > 0:04:10my view of the year, and that proposition is...
0:04:10 > 0:04:132017 is the year no-one will look back on fondly
0:04:13 > 0:04:15because we'll all be dead.
0:04:15 > 0:04:17LAUGHTER
0:04:17 > 0:04:19APPLAUSE
0:04:23 > 0:04:26This year, one figure dominated the news more than any other - Donald Trump.
0:04:26 > 0:04:28He may have to shit by caesarean,
0:04:28 > 0:04:30but he's still the most powerful man in the world.
0:04:30 > 0:04:33LAUGHTER
0:04:33 > 0:04:36This year, he announced US withdrawal from the Paris climate agreement,
0:04:36 > 0:04:38championed tax cuts for billionaires
0:04:38 > 0:04:40and supported an alleged paedophile
0:04:40 > 0:04:43as a Republican candidate for the Senate.
0:04:43 > 0:04:46Trump is like a fat bee bashing around inside a greenhouse,
0:04:46 > 0:04:48repeatedly failing to understand
0:04:48 > 0:04:50why the world doesn't work as he thought it did.
0:04:50 > 0:04:52Like any good authoritarian,
0:04:52 > 0:04:54a lot of his hatreds are simply projection.
0:04:54 > 0:04:57He has targeted North Korea for threatening its neighbour
0:04:57 > 0:05:00to the south, promising to expand its nuclear capability,
0:05:00 > 0:05:02and assassinating people abroad.
0:05:02 > 0:05:05Despite the fact this was pretty much Trump's election manifesto.
0:05:05 > 0:05:07LAUGHTER
0:05:07 > 0:05:10I don't know if you know, but Trump's brother died from alcoholism,
0:05:10 > 0:05:13so Trump avoids alcohol because his brother was an alcoholic.
0:05:13 > 0:05:17If only his brother had died from being a massive cunt.
0:05:17 > 0:05:19LAUGHTER
0:05:19 > 0:05:21APPLAUSE
0:05:27 > 0:05:30- Have you enjoyed Trump? Does he worry you? - He doesn't worry me any more.
0:05:30 > 0:05:33You know that thing about how once you see how sausages are made,
0:05:33 > 0:05:34you don't want to eat sausages?
0:05:34 > 0:05:38Politically, he's showing us how the sausages are made.
0:05:38 > 0:05:41Politics has always been poisonous and toxic and awful,
0:05:41 > 0:05:45and they've always had nuclear buttons and there've always been pigs.
0:05:45 > 0:05:47Now you can see it. Now we all know.
0:05:47 > 0:05:51- But the thing is, it's not affecting his popularity. - People like sausages.
0:05:51 > 0:05:52LAUGHTER
0:05:52 > 0:05:54- Exactly. Exactly. - That's the problem.
0:05:54 > 0:05:58- Mona, how's Trump holding up in the polls?- Really well.
0:05:58 > 0:06:00In November 2017,
0:06:00 > 0:06:04he was basically as popular as he was in November 2016.
0:06:04 > 0:06:05Which is still not very popular.
0:06:05 > 0:06:07I think 59% of Americans disapprove of him,
0:06:07 > 0:06:10which makes him an historically-unpopular president.
0:06:10 > 0:06:13Like, no other president really comes close, apart from Gerald Ford.
0:06:13 > 0:06:15But he was an historically unpopular candidate.
0:06:15 > 0:06:18You're seeing this all the time now, that as long as you're just divisive,
0:06:18 > 0:06:20it doesn't matter, as long as you've just got this
0:06:20 > 0:06:23one demographic that will kind of back you.
0:06:23 > 0:06:26And do people worry that he's a Russian mole?
0:06:26 > 0:06:29I mean, it would certainly explain why he can't speak English.
0:06:29 > 0:06:31LAUGHTER
0:06:31 > 0:06:35I find him amazing to watch. Just that level of sort of rage.
0:06:35 > 0:06:38I think a lot of it's to do with his diet, probably.
0:06:38 > 0:06:39He only eats fast-food.
0:06:39 > 0:06:42He's basically full all the time of salt and sugar.
0:06:42 > 0:06:46So any behaviour you see is a direct symptom of that.
0:06:46 > 0:06:49Like a child that's had too much jelly gets very, very high
0:06:49 > 0:06:51and then has these sort of miserable crashes.
0:06:51 > 0:06:55And then he presumably consumes no roughage...whatsoever,
0:06:55 > 0:06:57which is why most of his real fury
0:06:57 > 0:07:00is reserved for when he's on the lavatory.
0:07:00 > 0:07:02- Tweeting.- He's tweeting there. He's angry, he's lonely.
0:07:02 > 0:07:05I shouldn't imagine he's the sort of person that has books in his loo.
0:07:05 > 0:07:07LAUGHTER
0:07:07 > 0:07:10The only thing he's got to do is read about himself on the internet
0:07:10 > 0:07:12and then get angry and then let it all out.
0:07:12 > 0:07:17There have been a lot of examples of Trump doing bizarre things this year.
0:07:17 > 0:07:20A highlight from me is this peculiar footage from August,
0:07:20 > 0:07:23where Trump idiotically looks directly into the solar eclipse.
0:07:32 > 0:07:34LAUGHTER
0:07:39 > 0:07:42LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:07:43 > 0:07:47What happened is people beforehand will have been briefing him, going, "Don't look at the sun",
0:07:47 > 0:07:50and when he was out there, people were shouting, "Don't look at the sun",
0:07:50 > 0:07:54so there was a small gap when no-one was telling him not to look at the sun.
0:07:54 > 0:07:56And he looked at the sun.
0:07:56 > 0:08:00And he pointed to the sun in case nobody knew where it was.
0:08:00 > 0:08:03"There it is. It's up there. Why are you looking at me?"
0:08:03 > 0:08:05She, on the other hand, she's probably sort of,
0:08:05 > 0:08:07probably would feel in two ways about losing her sight.
0:08:07 > 0:08:10LAUGHTER
0:08:10 > 0:08:12She's probably trying to burn the image of him
0:08:12 > 0:08:14on top of her out of her retinas.
0:08:14 > 0:08:16GROANING
0:08:16 > 0:08:18Well, that was too far.
0:08:18 > 0:08:21Trump's a dangerous man. If you tell him he can't do something, he'll do it.
0:08:21 > 0:08:25I think men like Trump should be told, you know,
0:08:25 > 0:08:28"You can't make a woman your age climax. You can't do it."
0:08:28 > 0:08:31And then they'll just spend their whole lives trying.
0:08:31 > 0:08:34"You can't tell me I can't make a woman my own age climax."
0:08:34 > 0:08:38And then they'll have to spend time around women with educations and opinions.
0:08:38 > 0:08:41And then it might solve things a little.
0:08:41 > 0:08:43LAUGHTER
0:08:43 > 0:08:46In September, Trump was filmed in Texas supposedly helping
0:08:46 > 0:08:48victims of Hurricane Harvey.
0:08:48 > 0:08:51Watch this baffling news footage of his half-hearted attempt
0:08:51 > 0:08:54to load an aid truck.
0:08:54 > 0:08:56Hey, can you handle this? It's a lot of...
0:08:56 > 0:08:59- Yes, sir.- Have a good time. - Thank you.
0:09:01 > 0:09:04I'll put this back here for you. All right?
0:09:04 > 0:09:06OK? You got it.
0:09:06 > 0:09:09- Is this going in there? - Yes, sir. One more.
0:09:09 > 0:09:11OK, fellas.
0:09:13 > 0:09:14You're all set. Thank you.
0:09:14 > 0:09:17AUDIENCE LAUGH
0:09:17 > 0:09:20Beautiful! All right! That's good exercise.
0:09:21 > 0:09:24AUDIENCE APPLAUD
0:09:27 > 0:09:30He moves like a sort of walrus on a segway or something.
0:09:30 > 0:09:33LAUGHTER
0:09:33 > 0:09:35He does a lot of these sort of opportunities,
0:09:35 > 0:09:36and yet seems very ill at ease.
0:09:36 > 0:09:39You know when George Osborne would accidentally be left alone
0:09:39 > 0:09:42with a construction worker for five seconds,
0:09:42 > 0:09:44and he'd be going, "All right?"
0:09:44 > 0:09:46LAUGHTER
0:09:46 > 0:09:49I think there's a thing where he knows
0:09:49 > 0:09:52- they can only show five seconds of that on a news show.- Mm-hm.
0:09:52 > 0:09:57So almost by accident, his attention span, his lack of attention,
0:09:57 > 0:09:59fits in with the media's lack of attention.
0:09:59 > 0:10:01Because he knows he's never going to be called on that.
0:10:01 > 0:10:04But what most people showed was him standing on top of a truck.
0:10:04 > 0:10:09I remember this went really viral, being, like, "Great crowd here! Great crowd!"
0:10:09 > 0:10:11But 12,700 homes were destroyed and 82 people died
0:10:11 > 0:10:13in the second-worst natural disaster in US history
0:10:13 > 0:10:17and he's, like, "Oh, loads of people showed up to see me!"
0:10:17 > 0:10:19LAUGHTER
0:10:19 > 0:10:22Black Americans are near the top of Trump's list of adversaries.
0:10:22 > 0:10:26Somewhere in-between Muslims and common decency.
0:10:26 > 0:10:27But Trump's nemesis this year
0:10:27 > 0:10:30has been North Korean leader Kim Jong-un.
0:10:30 > 0:10:31Here's how North Korean state TV
0:10:31 > 0:10:34portray their leader's life as one long party.
0:10:35 > 0:10:37UPBEAT SINGING
0:10:44 > 0:10:45KOREAN COMMENTARY
0:10:51 > 0:10:54KOREAN COMMENTARY
0:10:54 > 0:10:56MUSIC PLAYS
0:11:00 > 0:11:02ROUSING SINGING
0:11:10 > 0:11:13APPLAUSE
0:11:19 > 0:11:21You know, he's enjoying it.
0:11:21 > 0:11:24He looks like, you know, he's getting more out of it than Trump.
0:11:24 > 0:11:27I mean, who are we to deny him his happiness, I suppose?
0:11:27 > 0:11:30They've developed nuclear warheads.
0:11:30 > 0:11:31But basically, at the moment,
0:11:31 > 0:11:34their delivery system is £3 million worth of stamps.
0:11:34 > 0:11:36LAUGHTER
0:11:38 > 0:11:40And they're trying to say that, oh, eventually,
0:11:40 > 0:11:42they're going to be able to hit LA, which means we'll lose, what,
0:11:42 > 0:11:44James Corden and half-a-million rapists?
0:11:44 > 0:11:47LAUGHTER
0:11:47 > 0:11:49APPLAUSE
0:11:52 > 0:11:55Whilst World War III was brewing in North Korea, there was
0:11:55 > 0:11:57an invasion of a different kind in South Korea,
0:11:57 > 0:11:59which became one of the most-shared clips of the year.
0:11:59 > 0:12:02Here's the embarrassing moment a serious BBC interview
0:12:02 > 0:12:04turned into a farce.
0:12:04 > 0:12:06The question is, how do democracies respond to those scandals?
0:12:06 > 0:12:09And what will it mean for, er...for the wider region?
0:12:09 > 0:12:12I think one of your children's just walked in.
0:12:12 > 0:12:13I mean, shifting sands in the region?
0:12:13 > 0:12:17Do you think relations with the north may change?
0:12:17 > 0:12:20Um...I would be surprised if they do.
0:12:20 > 0:12:23The, um... Pardon me.
0:12:25 > 0:12:28My apologies.
0:12:32 > 0:12:34What will this mean for the region?
0:12:34 > 0:12:36My apologies. North, er...
0:12:38 > 0:12:39Sorry.
0:12:39 > 0:12:42- AUDIENCE APPLAUD - Um...North Korea... South Korea's policies...
0:12:46 > 0:12:48It was perfect, wasn't it? It was like Some Like It Hot.
0:12:48 > 0:12:51Everything was... Every bit is perfect.
0:12:51 > 0:12:53You notice something new every time you watch it.
0:12:53 > 0:12:56I didn't realise the toddler got crushed
0:12:56 > 0:12:58by the baby's little jungle gym on the way out.
0:12:58 > 0:13:01It's the way they both walk in that I love so much.
0:13:01 > 0:13:05And they absolutely know what they're doing. Like, "I'm on telly"!
0:13:05 > 0:13:08Glorious. I mean, your children are ultimately out to destroy you.
0:13:08 > 0:13:11- LAUGHTER - This is, I suppose, evidence of it.
0:13:11 > 0:13:13That kind of look on his face, as if he's said,
0:13:13 > 0:13:17"Daddy has to do one thing. One work thing today.
0:13:17 > 0:13:20"How often am I interviewed on the news? Almost never.
0:13:20 > 0:13:24"If no-one can come into the study for that five-minute window, that's all I ask."
0:13:24 > 0:13:25And that just defeated look on his face,
0:13:25 > 0:13:27"What's the worst thing that could happen?
0:13:27 > 0:13:29"This, the thing that's happening to me now."
0:13:29 > 0:13:31LAUGHTER
0:13:31 > 0:13:33I love to think that he couldn't get up and help
0:13:33 > 0:13:35because he was naked from the waist down.
0:13:35 > 0:13:37LAUGHTER
0:13:39 > 0:13:41That's how I take Skype news at home.
0:13:41 > 0:13:44Anyway, many of us thought that Donald Trump would walk away
0:13:44 > 0:13:46with the title of the Worst Person Of The Year,
0:13:46 > 0:13:49but we were forgetting about one man - Piers Morgan.
0:13:49 > 0:13:51LAUGHTER
0:13:51 > 0:13:54Watch this uneasy interview where Piers ambushes a bewildered
0:13:54 > 0:13:57Mariah Carey and tirelessly tries to get her reaction
0:13:57 > 0:14:00to breaking news in Las Vegas.
0:14:00 > 0:14:02Mariah, thank you so much for joining us.
0:14:02 > 0:14:04I don't know if you're aware of the breaking news,
0:14:04 > 0:14:08but there's been a massive gun attack in Las Vegas tonight,
0:14:08 > 0:14:12within the last hour, with a shooter
0:14:12 > 0:14:15raining down rapid-fire gunfire
0:14:15 > 0:14:17on thousands of concert-goers.
0:14:17 > 0:14:20I know you weren't aware of this before you've just come on air,
0:14:20 > 0:14:24but what is your immediate reaction to what I've just told you?
0:14:27 > 0:14:31I mean, it's just what everybody's gut reaction would be,
0:14:31 > 0:14:32which is, this is horrible.
0:14:32 > 0:14:36And I pray for the victims and I hope this...
0:14:36 > 0:14:41- Have they caught the shooter yet, or...?- Apparently, one shooter...
0:14:41 > 0:14:44- One down...- Do you guys know? - One shooter is confirmed dead.
0:14:44 > 0:14:49He was found on the 32nd floor of the Mandalay Bay hotel.
0:14:49 > 0:14:51It would appear that that shooter,
0:14:51 > 0:14:55either operating alone or with others, has shot down,
0:14:55 > 0:14:58and we've seen lots of video footage of this, has shot down,
0:14:58 > 0:15:00raining hundreds of bullets.
0:15:00 > 0:15:03Obviously, you'd understand better than most that this is
0:15:03 > 0:15:05a big breaking story in America
0:15:05 > 0:15:09and we need to work out exactly what's been going on there,
0:15:09 > 0:15:11so we'll talk to you in a minute or two.
0:15:15 > 0:15:19APPLAUSE
0:15:21 > 0:15:23If she'd known it'd be about a mass shooting,
0:15:23 > 0:15:25she'd have started off in a different position.
0:15:25 > 0:15:27LAUGHTER
0:15:27 > 0:15:30But she makes a decision not to change position.
0:15:30 > 0:15:33She looks down and goes, "Nah, it's OK".
0:15:33 > 0:15:38When you've been sausaged into that much shape wear, you don't have a choice.
0:15:38 > 0:15:40LAUGHTER
0:15:40 > 0:15:43Also, and I know that obviously, it's a very serious, serious story,
0:15:43 > 0:15:45but why has she got a Christmas tree up? This was in October.
0:15:45 > 0:15:48Because it's Christmas all year round at her place.
0:15:48 > 0:15:51Do you think that's it? So, she can sing her song at people?
0:15:51 > 0:15:53Mariah Carey is the queen of Christmas
0:15:53 > 0:15:55and I'll not hear any Mariah Carey bashing here tonight.
0:15:55 > 0:15:57- If anything... - You're not going to hear any.
0:15:57 > 0:16:00I think there should be a channel where we just break news to Mariah Carey.
0:16:00 > 0:16:02LAUGHTER
0:16:02 > 0:16:04APPLAUSE
0:16:04 > 0:16:07- All sorts of news.- Yeah. - All day, every day.
0:16:07 > 0:16:08Mariah Carey Reacts!
0:16:08 > 0:16:10LAUGHTER
0:16:10 > 0:16:12Give it to her, 100 years of history.
0:16:12 > 0:16:15IMITATES MARIAH CAREY: What a tragedy for the people of the Yemen!
0:16:15 > 0:16:18LAUGHTER
0:16:18 > 0:16:21Meanwhile, the news in Britain was dominated by Brexit.
0:16:21 > 0:16:23In March, Article 50 was triggered,
0:16:23 > 0:16:26leading to fractious Brexit negotiations
0:16:26 > 0:16:28between the UK and the rest of the EU.
0:16:28 > 0:16:32The prospect of Brexit has already managed to get immigration down
0:16:32 > 0:16:34and exports up by making the pound worthless.
0:16:34 > 0:16:36LAUGHTER
0:16:36 > 0:16:38At the moment, Britain is in a strange position, where we
0:16:38 > 0:16:41seem to be sanguine about foreigners owning our infrastructure,
0:16:41 > 0:16:43we just don't want them picking our fruit.
0:16:43 > 0:16:45LAUGHTER
0:16:45 > 0:16:47A full-member state leaving the EU is an unprecedented move
0:16:47 > 0:16:51and it's important for news shows to canvass informed opinions.
0:16:51 > 0:16:54Here's Prince Andrew's insightful forensic analysis of the whole thing.
0:16:54 > 0:16:57You can look at it two ways. You can either look at it as a glass half-empty,
0:16:57 > 0:16:59"Oh, my God, why have we done this?"
0:16:59 > 0:17:01Or you can look at it as a glass half-full, which is,
0:17:01 > 0:17:03"OK, that's where we are".
0:17:03 > 0:17:06We've been concentrating on 27 countries...
0:17:08 > 0:17:11..if you take that as an internal market...
0:17:13 > 0:17:15..there's an external market that is a lot bigger.
0:17:15 > 0:17:20And many businesses hadn't looked over that garden fence,
0:17:20 > 0:17:22to some extent.
0:17:22 > 0:17:24And in my experience recently,
0:17:24 > 0:17:27businesses that look over the garden fence have gone,
0:17:27 > 0:17:30"Hm! The grass is not quite as dark
0:17:30 > 0:17:33"and unforgiving as you might expect.
0:17:33 > 0:17:35"And actually, you know, getting over the fence,
0:17:35 > 0:17:36"there might be some fresh grass out there."
0:17:36 > 0:17:39LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:17:43 > 0:17:45# The Grand Old Duke of York
0:17:45 > 0:17:48# He knew absolutely fuck-all about anything. #
0:17:48 > 0:17:52He has sort of taken his trolley to the metaphor supermarket there, hasn't he?
0:17:52 > 0:17:54And gone absolutely crazy in the aisles.
0:17:54 > 0:17:57Also, I think that's a lot worse than Mariah Carey.
0:17:57 > 0:18:00I think it's a lot worse to think you know what you're talking about
0:18:00 > 0:18:02and talk gibberish than to just go,
0:18:02 > 0:18:04"I am not qualified to talk about this".
0:18:04 > 0:18:06Still not quite as bad as David Davis.
0:18:06 > 0:18:10- To not be qualified and still talking about it.- Yeah.
0:18:10 > 0:18:13He was supposed to have done 58 reports on the impact of Brexit
0:18:13 > 0:18:16and he just went, "Oh, I've not done anything."
0:18:16 > 0:18:19If he was working at sort of county council level, you'd go,
0:18:19 > 0:18:21"This guy is not great, is he?"
0:18:21 > 0:18:22LAUGHTER
0:18:24 > 0:18:27People don't seem that bothered about...
0:18:27 > 0:18:30You know, some of the Tory MPs were going,
0:18:30 > 0:18:32"That's Ireland's problem if they have to bring back the border".
0:18:32 > 0:18:36I thought, historically, they're quite good at making it your problem.
0:18:36 > 0:18:38LAUGHTER
0:18:41 > 0:18:43- You worried, Kath? - I wouldn't say worried.
0:18:43 > 0:18:46I think there's a lot worse than Theresa May out there,
0:18:46 > 0:18:48- and she is a garbage fire. - LAUGHTER
0:18:50 > 0:18:52But...
0:18:52 > 0:18:54APPLAUSE
0:18:59 > 0:19:02Is it true, Mona, that a lot of the people who voted Leave are dead?
0:19:02 > 0:19:04No!
0:19:04 > 0:19:07Oh, because of just ageing, because they were older?
0:19:07 > 0:19:08- Yeah.- No, I don't think a lot.
0:19:08 > 0:19:10I think that's a little bit of an exaggeration.
0:19:10 > 0:19:12I heard they're hanging on in there just to see it.
0:19:12 > 0:19:14LAUGHTER
0:19:14 > 0:19:17But the thing that is sort of amazing is that a year later,
0:19:17 > 0:19:19like, their opinions have barely changed..
0:19:19 > 0:19:21Like, even despite everything,
0:19:21 > 0:19:23Leave voters are just as likely to say that they want to leave,
0:19:23 > 0:19:26and Remain voters are, like, slightly more entrenched, but not much.
0:19:26 > 0:19:29It's impossible to change an old person's mind about anything.
0:19:29 > 0:19:31Isn't it worrying that all of our diplomats
0:19:31 > 0:19:33- and all of our politicians are incredible old?- Yeah.
0:19:33 > 0:19:35I mean, old people are... I don't..
0:19:35 > 0:19:38I mean, they are ruining this country.
0:19:38 > 0:19:40LAUGHTER
0:19:40 > 0:19:43The average age of the party leaders now is, like...
0:19:43 > 0:19:45Vince Cable's the only pro-European one because he remembers
0:19:45 > 0:19:47when we were still joined onto it.
0:19:47 > 0:19:50LAUGHTER
0:19:50 > 0:19:53And a lot of the stuff with Brexit, it gets talked about in the
0:19:53 > 0:19:56abstract, but people talk about controlling immigration, or...
0:19:56 > 0:20:00I mean, you can't have a racist immigration policy that,
0:20:00 > 0:20:03you know, some people who voted for Brexit would want because,
0:20:03 > 0:20:06like, the country functions on immigration.
0:20:06 > 0:20:11Like, if you had what they wanted, the construction industry would be
0:20:11 > 0:20:14one guy called Terry trying to fit 12,000 kitchens a week or something.
0:20:16 > 0:20:20It's like the NHS. The NHS is completely run by, like...
0:20:20 > 0:20:22Who are our nurses?
0:20:22 > 0:20:24They're immigrants. What are we going to do without them?
0:20:24 > 0:20:27I mean, it is racist. It's pointedly racist.
0:20:27 > 0:20:30Because there are British people who will slag off immigrants to me.
0:20:30 > 0:20:34I'm like, "I'm an immigrant, you dumb fuck."
0:20:34 > 0:20:35APPLAUSE
0:20:39 > 0:20:42Saying that she needed to strengthen her hand for Brexit
0:20:42 > 0:20:46negotiations, in April, Theresa May called a general election.
0:20:46 > 0:20:48Even though she promised earlier in the year that there
0:20:48 > 0:20:49definitely wouldn't be one.
0:20:49 > 0:20:52The election was initially predicted to result in a Tory landslide,
0:20:52 > 0:20:56but in fact they ended up losing their parliamentary majority.
0:20:56 > 0:20:58Theresa May thought she'd be wielding a 100-seat majority
0:20:58 > 0:21:01like the One Ring. Instead, she merely persists,
0:21:01 > 0:21:03like a sort of electoral skid mark.
0:21:06 > 0:21:08You know, she doesn't have that big a majority.
0:21:08 > 0:21:11There are people who say, "Well, look, we just won't vote with you."
0:21:11 > 0:21:14The people around her have an enormous position of power.
0:21:14 > 0:21:16And I imagine she can say in a Cabinet meeting,
0:21:16 > 0:21:18"I think we should do this." And people go, "Do you, though?"
0:21:18 > 0:21:20And she'll go, "I don't think that."
0:21:20 > 0:21:25She's sort of just been held in position by senior Tories
0:21:25 > 0:21:29as they manoeuvre. She's sort of like a body in an action movie.
0:21:29 > 0:21:31You know, when they pick up a body and they shoot round it?
0:21:31 > 0:21:32And she's just...
0:21:35 > 0:21:38Sad, really, that Labour don't seem as committed to fighting
0:21:38 > 0:21:41the Tory party as Theresa May's internal monologue.
0:21:41 > 0:21:44In October, things got worse for her.
0:21:44 > 0:21:46Who can forget the cringeworthy and unforgettable scenes
0:21:46 > 0:21:48from her conference speech?
0:21:48 > 0:21:49COUGHING
0:21:53 > 0:21:54CLEARS THROAT
0:21:56 > 0:21:58WEAKLY: We remember... COUGHS
0:22:05 > 0:22:07And let me say one more thing...
0:22:07 > 0:22:09COUGHS
0:22:09 > 0:22:14An image of modern Britain, in all its diversity, compassion
0:22:14 > 0:22:18and strength, that was shared around the globe.
0:22:18 > 0:22:20APPLAUSE
0:22:26 > 0:22:29- It must be the worst conference speech ever.- Yeah.
0:22:29 > 0:22:32I've never, ever seen any of them.
0:22:32 > 0:22:34So that's the only bit of any conference speech I've ever seen,
0:22:34 > 0:22:36and it was rubbish.
0:22:36 > 0:22:38So I don't think I want to watch any more.
0:22:38 > 0:22:40I think the letters made it.
0:22:40 > 0:22:44Because there'll be a point where she came off and went, "Well, that was terrible, wasn't it?
0:22:44 > 0:22:46And someone will have gone, "Especially when the letters fell off."
0:22:50 > 0:22:53There's one where she coughs, she surprises herself,
0:22:53 > 0:22:55like if you burp when you're asleep.
0:22:55 > 0:22:57She's like, "Oh! Excuse me!"
0:22:59 > 0:23:02- I will always slightly love her for that, I think.- People did.
0:23:02 > 0:23:04I think it garnered her a lot of sympathy.
0:23:04 > 0:23:07We've all had a tickly cough. It's not the worst thing.
0:23:07 > 0:23:10And I think it shows our humanity that can watch that and go, "Aw!"
0:23:10 > 0:23:12But meanwhile, Tories would see it and go,
0:23:12 > 0:23:15"It's coughing, it's sick, kill it. Cut its benefits off."
0:23:17 > 0:23:21They are becoming increasingly divorced from the general public,
0:23:21 > 0:23:23the Tories, I think. The average Cabinet Minister,
0:23:23 > 0:23:26the only reason he keeps a photo of his kid in his wallet is so he
0:23:26 > 0:23:29doesn't pick up the wrong one at the end of term.
0:23:30 > 0:23:34Do you think they're becoming more divorced from the public, Miles?
0:23:34 > 0:23:37You couldn't identify with a lot of politicians as people on the street.
0:23:37 > 0:23:40I mean, even I look at politicians and think, "God, he seems posh."
0:23:42 > 0:23:45So I think that sort of divide is there.
0:23:45 > 0:23:48And I think people all feel that, enormously.
0:23:48 > 0:23:50But I don't think the Tories are becoming more unpopular.
0:23:50 > 0:23:51They're doing a terrible job
0:23:51 > 0:23:54and lots of people's lives are getting actively worse,
0:23:54 > 0:23:58but Labour aren't coming back with any kind of popularity.
0:23:58 > 0:24:01This would be a perfect time to be in Opposition, because there are
0:24:01 > 0:24:03so many points they're failing the people of this country.
0:24:03 > 0:24:05And there isn't a proper opposition to it.
0:24:05 > 0:24:08Every day, people should be bombarded with, "This is what's
0:24:08 > 0:24:10"happening in the NHS, this is what's happening with housing."
0:24:10 > 0:24:13Christmas, it was the highest number of homeless children ever.
0:24:13 > 0:24:16Anyone in politics should be utterly ashamed of themselves
0:24:16 > 0:24:18that that's happening. Everyone's as bad as each other.
0:24:18 > 0:24:20But they're not as bad as each other.
0:24:20 > 0:24:23And I think if we just dismiss everyone as, "Oh, it's all evil,"
0:24:23 > 0:24:25that's when people don't show up to vote.
0:24:25 > 0:24:26Yeah, you're right.
0:24:26 > 0:24:28APPLAUSE
0:24:30 > 0:24:32Anyway. 2017 was a breakthrough year for Jeremy Corbyn.
0:24:32 > 0:24:36He defied expectations with Labour's performance at the election,
0:24:36 > 0:24:38gaining 30 seats across the country.
0:24:38 > 0:24:41Although Corbyn's attempts at celebrating with party members
0:24:41 > 0:24:44were a bit less impressive. Embarrassingly for him, the media
0:24:44 > 0:24:47managed to expertly capture his repeated high five fails.
0:24:47 > 0:24:53His high five with Emily Thornbury went a touch too far, perhaps.
0:24:53 > 0:24:56I think what Jeremy Corbyn's done is,
0:24:56 > 0:24:58if you like, effectively won another election.
0:24:58 > 0:25:01Because I know of two very prominent Labour MPs
0:25:01 > 0:25:04who were planning to launch...
0:25:04 > 0:25:06Thank you! Thank you, Jeremy!
0:25:09 > 0:25:11APPLAUSE
0:25:16 > 0:25:19He's been a socialist for, what, 60-odd years?
0:25:19 > 0:25:22He's not had a lot to high five about.
0:25:22 > 0:25:24"They've privatised our utilities!"
0:25:25 > 0:25:26But it's not his fault,
0:25:26 > 0:25:30he's surrounded by people who can't high five him. That's all it is.
0:25:30 > 0:25:33He's doing it right, he's done what they did in rehearsal,
0:25:33 > 0:25:34he's stuck the hand out.
0:25:34 > 0:25:35I also heard that Emily Thornbury
0:25:35 > 0:25:37is always putting her boob in men's hands.
0:25:39 > 0:25:42Actually, you didn't see it, she created that whole situation
0:25:42 > 0:25:43because she's like...
0:25:45 > 0:25:48I think, legally, we're going to be on shaky ground there.
0:25:49 > 0:25:52I think, on the left at the moment, you hear people talking about,
0:25:52 > 0:25:54"We need narratives to engage people,
0:25:54 > 0:25:56"we need to have the stories." And you're like,
0:25:56 > 0:25:59you're just talking about different ways of tricking people.
0:25:59 > 0:26:01Why don't you try and be honest with them?
0:26:01 > 0:26:05You know, when Jeremy Corbyn talks about Brexit, it's really evasive,
0:26:05 > 0:26:08he looks like he's holding the coats at an orgy or something.
0:26:11 > 0:26:14Jeremy Corbyn is often criticised for his scruffy appearance,
0:26:14 > 0:26:18so he was a surprising choice for the cover of GQ magazine.
0:26:18 > 0:26:21Here's an image from the article where the photographer attempts to
0:26:21 > 0:26:24reinvent Corbyn's look with a moody, black-and-white shot.
0:26:26 > 0:26:29Sort of looks like he's waiting for his flu jab.
0:26:32 > 0:26:34I've always kind of hated GQ.
0:26:34 > 0:26:38It seems to me to be just a watch catalogue.
0:26:38 > 0:26:41Do you know that thing, those guys who are like,
0:26:41 > 0:26:42"I used to just be a prick,
0:26:42 > 0:26:45"now I'm a prick in four different time zones."
0:26:47 > 0:26:50"I've gone from being a prick to a highly-muggable prick."
0:26:53 > 0:26:54There's a kind of glamour to it.
0:26:54 > 0:26:56He has that sort of, you know, "Sometimes you've got to
0:26:56 > 0:26:59"roll your sleeves up and get a little bit dirty."
0:26:59 > 0:27:01You've sexualised that image.
0:27:01 > 0:27:04Just if someone rolls their sleeves up, Frankie,
0:27:04 > 0:27:07that is not necessarily an invitation to sex. You have to...
0:27:07 > 0:27:10I can't believe I find us having this conversation again.
0:27:13 > 0:27:15He's really, really gained in confidence, though,
0:27:15 > 0:27:18and I think that's part of the thing that people distrust about leaders.
0:27:18 > 0:27:20It's that growing ego and arrogance that comes with it.
0:27:20 > 0:27:22He did this interview with Grazia, saying that
0:27:22 > 0:27:25if the election was held next year, he was going to win.
0:27:25 > 0:27:27I'm like, hasn't he learned from May?
0:27:27 > 0:27:29You can't just assume these things ahead of time.
0:27:29 > 0:27:31But you'd got to say that, haven't you?
0:27:31 > 0:27:33You've got say yes, otherwise you're already doing your job wrong,
0:27:33 > 0:27:35if you're going, "What, THIS election? Oh, no..."
0:27:37 > 0:27:40I think you'd get a lot of respect if you said,
0:27:40 > 0:27:42"There's no sure thing, we've got a lot of work to do to convince
0:27:42 > 0:27:45"the electorate and the votes that we need to win."
0:27:45 > 0:27:47I think people would really respect that.
0:27:47 > 0:27:49And British people like underdogs, they hate triumphalism.
0:27:49 > 0:27:53All this stuff Labour has at the minute of, "Let's unseat Boris,"
0:27:53 > 0:27:55and all that. You're like, that's for your activists.
0:27:55 > 0:27:58- The public hate that. - So you can be more self deprecating?
0:27:58 > 0:28:00You could say, "Are you going to win this election?"
0:28:00 > 0:28:02"No. And, frankly, nor do we deserve to."
0:28:05 > 0:28:06"We might not even run."
0:28:10 > 0:28:12There's a theme throughout the general election of a growing
0:28:12 > 0:28:15disconnect between the Conservative Party and the public.
0:28:15 > 0:28:17They're almost going in opposite directions.
0:28:17 > 0:28:19One of the new figures is Jacob Rees-Mogg,
0:28:19 > 0:28:21a sort of living Monopoly logo.
0:28:22 > 0:28:24A composite drawn from the nightmares
0:28:24 > 0:28:26of 18th-century mill workers.
0:28:29 > 0:28:31Here was a BBC documentary crew,
0:28:31 > 0:28:34capturing his characteristically pompous reaction
0:28:34 > 0:28:36to Article 50 being triggered.
0:28:36 > 0:28:38Yes, an excellent day.
0:28:38 > 0:28:40The process is now underway.
0:28:41 > 0:28:44So, as you ripped the covers off this morning,
0:28:44 > 0:28:45what was your first thought?
0:28:45 > 0:28:47My first thought?
0:28:47 > 0:28:51Salva, festa deis, toto venerabilis aevo.
0:28:51 > 0:28:54Which I believe I can play for you, actually.
0:28:54 > 0:28:55I've been listening to this.
0:28:55 > 0:28:57Here we go.
0:28:57 > 0:29:00LATIN CHANTING PLAYS
0:29:00 > 0:29:02What is it?
0:29:02 > 0:29:06"Hail, festal day, venerable through all ages."
0:29:06 > 0:29:11It just seems to be an entirely appropriate theme for Brexit.
0:29:11 > 0:29:13APPLAUSE
0:29:16 > 0:29:18The thing is, if you are doing that as a parody video,
0:29:18 > 0:29:22that's the music you would have dubbed over as a joke.
0:29:23 > 0:29:25Even when he translates it into English,
0:29:25 > 0:29:29- I still don't know what he means. - No, have absolutely no idea.
0:29:29 > 0:29:32I don't think he's a serious contender for Prime Minister,
0:29:32 > 0:29:35but he contextualises very right-wing people.
0:29:35 > 0:29:38I mean, now that he's kind of in the foreground,
0:29:38 > 0:29:42Boris Johnson suddenly looks prime ministerial.
0:29:42 > 0:29:46If Boris was clever, he would want this guy on television more.
0:29:46 > 0:29:49- I think he's a stalking horse, And it's kind of...- Exactly.
0:29:49 > 0:29:51"..Your job is to make me look normal."
0:29:52 > 0:29:56I think we sort of underestimate him, because subconsciously,
0:29:56 > 0:29:59we all think, any minute now, he's about to be arrested by Poirot.
0:30:03 > 0:30:06Moving on. In October, Hollywood and the entertainment industry
0:30:06 > 0:30:09were rocked by multiple allegations of sexual harassment
0:30:09 > 0:30:11against film producer Harvey Weinstein.
0:30:11 > 0:30:15This led to a cascade of people coming forward with more accusations
0:30:15 > 0:30:19against big stars like Kevin Spacey, Louis CK and Dustin Hoffman.
0:30:19 > 0:30:22Time magazine named the victims who'd spoken out about sexual
0:30:22 > 0:30:25misconduct, the Silence Breakers, as their people of the year.
0:30:25 > 0:30:28And then ruined it by making Donald Trump runner-up,
0:30:28 > 0:30:29like he was chasing them.
0:30:32 > 0:30:35Were you surprise by the revelations, Katherine?
0:30:35 > 0:30:38No, I mean, I was saying when the Bill Cosby stuff happened
0:30:38 > 0:30:41that the reason he looked so confused going into the courtroom
0:30:41 > 0:30:42is his whole attitude was,
0:30:42 > 0:30:45"Well, no, all my friends were raping people,
0:30:45 > 0:30:46"I don't really understand.
0:30:46 > 0:30:49"Back then, it was just frowned upon, like smoking weed.
0:30:49 > 0:30:50"But now you've transported me
0:30:50 > 0:30:53"into this whole world where it's unacceptable."
0:30:53 > 0:30:56It's like society's moving more quickly than these men are.
0:30:56 > 0:30:58At the beginning of his apology speech...
0:30:58 > 0:31:01- Are you talking about Weinstein here?- Yeah, Weinstein.
0:31:01 > 0:31:05It literally says, "It was different back then," that rules have changed.
0:31:05 > 0:31:07As if someone else has moved the goalposts.
0:31:07 > 0:31:10And again, he's accused of rape at the most serious
0:31:10 > 0:31:12end of the assaults and things he's been accused of.
0:31:12 > 0:31:16Literally saying to everyone else, "You've change the rules."
0:31:16 > 0:31:18Which is different from saying,
0:31:18 > 0:31:21"I've done something utterly wrong," or lots of things wrong.
0:31:21 > 0:31:23And rape was always obviously wrong.
0:31:23 > 0:31:27But it was all the other levels of pestering and assault
0:31:27 > 0:31:31and abuse that were really not OK,
0:31:31 > 0:31:34but they were a woman's responsibility to avoid, largely.
0:31:34 > 0:31:38And that's why it looks such small potatoes to so many people.
0:31:38 > 0:31:41They go, "Well, it was only that, it was only wanking at you.
0:31:41 > 0:31:43"Who hasn't been wanked at?"
0:31:45 > 0:31:47I also think the thing that's really scary is
0:31:47 > 0:31:50the first allegation against Weinstein was 37 years ago.
0:31:50 > 0:31:53The timeline it's taken for these things to pick up speed
0:31:53 > 0:31:54is really depressing.
0:31:54 > 0:31:58But even with Parliament, and again, it happens to a lot of women,
0:31:58 > 0:32:01because part of victim blaming is you blame yourself,
0:32:01 > 0:32:03there were so many women, older women to younger women,
0:32:03 > 0:32:05who were complaining, saying to them,
0:32:05 > 0:32:08"We've all had to put up with it, it makes you stronger, it makes you work harder."
0:32:08 > 0:32:11Rather than going, "Absolutely, when you list it all together,
0:32:11 > 0:32:13"we need to change the way behave as society."
0:32:13 > 0:32:15And I think, more than a gender thing, it's a power thing.
0:32:15 > 0:32:20People who abuse their position or people who feel very voiceless,
0:32:20 > 0:32:22that they have no-one to complain to or no-one will believe them,
0:32:22 > 0:32:24that's the thing that has to change.
0:32:24 > 0:32:29That's why we also need equal pay and gender representation.
0:32:29 > 0:32:32Our careers now are so different to where they were ten years ago,
0:32:32 > 0:32:34the way we're treated is so entirely different,
0:32:34 > 0:32:36because no-one would dare now.
0:32:36 > 0:32:38- WHISPERS:- Because we'd fuck them up.
0:32:38 > 0:32:40- Fuck them up together! - APPLAUSE
0:32:45 > 0:32:49The thing is, I worry, will it change? This might all just go away.
0:32:49 > 0:32:51Because the institutions don't seem to be changing.
0:32:51 > 0:32:53One of the things it's frustrated me
0:32:53 > 0:32:55is that it's just been high-profile, celebrity men.
0:32:55 > 0:32:58And we know that most reports of sexual harassment and stuff,
0:32:58 > 0:33:01they're in things like retail, accommodation -
0:33:01 > 0:33:03so, like, hotel workers, those women are an in
0:33:03 > 0:33:07incredibly vulnerable positions - and things like manufacturing.
0:33:07 > 0:33:09But, in three out of four of those cases, the women
0:33:09 > 0:33:12are threatened with retaliation if they keep on moving it forward.
0:33:12 > 0:33:15Like, seven out of ten cases just never, ever go reported.
0:33:15 > 0:33:18So we're only seeing the very, very tip of the iceberg here.
0:33:18 > 0:33:20What I don't see in it though is,
0:33:20 > 0:33:22where is the idea of justice in this?
0:33:22 > 0:33:25So, these people haven't been charged with anything,
0:33:25 > 0:33:28there's not real justice for the victims.
0:33:28 > 0:33:30Basically, at the moment, we're allowing them to set the agenda,
0:33:30 > 0:33:33where they go, "I'm going away for two weeks to a hotel."
0:33:33 > 0:33:35That's not how crime works. You know?
0:33:35 > 0:33:38"I'm going to try and not do any more armed robberies,
0:33:38 > 0:33:39"I've got a week in at the Hilton,
0:33:39 > 0:33:41"hopefully going to turn over a new leaf."
0:33:42 > 0:33:44I think that, especially, with Harvey Weinstein,
0:33:44 > 0:33:47I think it isn't a rehab thing, I think the crimes he's been
0:33:47 > 0:33:50accused of are very, very serious. And Kevin Spacey as well.
0:33:50 > 0:33:52We they on the same ranch?
0:33:52 > 0:33:54Surround this fucking ranch.
0:33:56 > 0:33:59Wait until Woody Allen pops round for game of ping-pong,
0:33:59 > 0:34:01surround the thing like fucking Waco.
0:34:03 > 0:34:05It's basically like a safe house. I mean...
0:34:05 > 0:34:08It's a place for perverts to hang out together.
0:34:10 > 0:34:12Following the revelations in Hollywood,
0:34:12 > 0:34:15other public figures were also accused of sexual misconduct.
0:34:15 > 0:34:17They included Michael Fallon, who resigned as Defence Secretary
0:34:17 > 0:34:20after admitting inappropriate behaviour towards women.
0:34:20 > 0:34:24On the same evening, Newsnight aired a shockingly unbalanced debate
0:34:24 > 0:34:28on the subject, with a panel made up of three women and 14 men.
0:34:28 > 0:34:31We're going to ask if everybody knows what sexual abuse looks like.
0:34:31 > 0:34:33Once we thought we did, now it doesn't seem so clear.
0:34:33 > 0:34:36The boundaries have shifted, haven't they?
0:34:36 > 0:34:38And men are having to learn what they look like.
0:34:38 > 0:34:40So are now men changing their behaviour,
0:34:40 > 0:34:44and is it making all our work relationships really awkward?
0:34:44 > 0:34:46We're going to go straight to our men,
0:34:46 > 0:34:49and I'd like to ask you first to raise your hand if you think
0:34:49 > 0:34:51you've changed your behaviour in recent weeks,
0:34:51 > 0:34:53since some of these allegations came out?
0:34:53 > 0:34:55Who would say they have changed their behaviour?
0:34:55 > 0:34:59- Let me start with you, Terence, what have you noticed?- Hi.
0:34:59 > 0:35:01I've noticed you have to change your behaviour with women,
0:35:01 > 0:35:04the way you touch them. The way you put your arm around them
0:35:04 > 0:35:06or just the way you look at them, to be honest.
0:35:07 > 0:35:10Years ago, you used to be able to laugh with women, joke with them,
0:35:10 > 0:35:12muck around with them and everything.
0:35:12 > 0:35:14And you don't laugh with women any more?
0:35:14 > 0:35:16You do, but not as much.
0:35:16 > 0:35:18When you used to laugh with women, years ago,
0:35:18 > 0:35:21you used to put your arms around them, but you can't do that no more.
0:35:21 > 0:35:24APPLAUSE
0:35:24 > 0:35:25It's a good thing.
0:35:25 > 0:35:27The thing is, if you were up on a rape charge,
0:35:27 > 0:35:29that's the jury you'd want to see.
0:35:32 > 0:35:34I'm not saying any of those guys were sex criminals,
0:35:34 > 0:35:37but a few of them will have had their vans swabbed.
0:35:38 > 0:35:40What he's saying...
0:35:40 > 0:35:42What he's saying is a perfect example,
0:35:42 > 0:35:44and I wonder if even he would watch that back and go,
0:35:44 > 0:35:46"Oh, yeah, that's ridiculous, what I'm saying."?
0:35:46 > 0:35:49No.
0:35:49 > 0:35:50No chance.
0:35:50 > 0:35:54I mean, they're all on bar stools, it's like a lock in at Wetherspoons.
0:35:55 > 0:35:59I'm blown away by how many men are outraged that they should
0:35:59 > 0:36:03have to mediate their behaviour so that the few women
0:36:03 > 0:36:06in their office can feel safe. Safe!
0:36:06 > 0:36:09It's just safe, we don't want to feel powerful,
0:36:09 > 0:36:12we don't want to abuse you.
0:36:12 > 0:36:15"What, and now I've got to stop hugging them?
0:36:15 > 0:36:18"What, the way I look at women's got to change?"
0:36:18 > 0:36:21The way you LOOK at women's got to change?
0:36:21 > 0:36:24What sexual eyes are you giving them?
0:36:24 > 0:36:26APPLAUSE
0:36:30 > 0:36:33Now, in the world of entertainment, the 2017 Oscars featured
0:36:33 > 0:36:35one of the most toe-curling screw-ups of the year,
0:36:35 > 0:36:37when La La Land was incorrectly announced
0:36:37 > 0:36:39as the winner of Best Picture.
0:36:39 > 0:36:41As you can see from this confused live broadcast,
0:36:41 > 0:36:44the normally slick ceremony descended into chaos.
0:36:45 > 0:36:46Go on.
0:36:46 > 0:36:48La La Land.
0:36:48 > 0:36:50CHEERING
0:36:50 > 0:36:54Tied for the most-nominated movie in Oscar history.
0:36:54 > 0:36:55So, keep dreaming, because the dreams
0:36:55 > 0:36:58we dream today will provide the love, the compassion,
0:36:58 > 0:37:03and the humanity that will narrate the stories of our lives tomorrow.
0:37:03 > 0:37:05Guys, guys, I'm sorry, no.
0:37:05 > 0:37:07There's a mistake.
0:37:07 > 0:37:08Moonlight, you guys won best picture.
0:37:08 > 0:37:11- CONFUSED APPLAUSE - Moonlight won.
0:37:11 > 0:37:13Come up. This is not a joke.
0:37:13 > 0:37:15This is not a joke, I'm afraid they read the wrong thing.
0:37:17 > 0:37:19This is not a joke, Moonlight has won Best Picture.
0:37:22 > 0:37:23Moonlight.
0:37:23 > 0:37:24Best Picture.
0:37:24 > 0:37:27APPLAUSE
0:37:33 > 0:37:34I like that everyone thought
0:37:34 > 0:37:37that would be the most embarrassing Oscars ever.
0:37:37 > 0:37:39And this year it's going to be, like, "Best Alibi".
0:37:43 > 0:37:46He said, "This is not a joke." Imagine it had been a joke?
0:37:47 > 0:37:48What a sick joke!
0:37:50 > 0:37:53I think there was something that actually, visually,
0:37:53 > 0:37:57was so wonderful about the cast and the crew of Moonlight
0:37:57 > 0:38:00coming on stage and replacing La La Land.
0:38:00 > 0:38:02And it is lucky it was that way round.
0:38:02 > 0:38:04- Mmm-hmm!- Oh, my God, yeah.
0:38:04 > 0:38:08If you think it can't be more awkward than that, yes, it could!
0:38:08 > 0:38:09Yes, it's could.
0:38:09 > 0:38:10It's sort of terrifying to think,
0:38:10 > 0:38:13"At least those guys don't have the nuclear codes."
0:38:13 > 0:38:15And then you think, "God, who DOES have the nuclear codes?"
0:38:18 > 0:38:20They have their own room at Trump Towers.
0:38:20 > 0:38:22The nuclear codes are in Trump Tower.
0:38:22 > 0:38:24The football, they call it? Yeah.
0:38:24 > 0:38:26I stayed across from Trump Tower for a wee bit.
0:38:26 > 0:38:29And I'd forgotten just how blase Americans are about guns,
0:38:29 > 0:38:31because he was president by then,
0:38:31 > 0:38:33it's just surrounded by snipers and soldiers and stuff.
0:38:33 > 0:38:38And this woman walked up to a group of, like, ten soldiers and went,
0:38:38 > 0:38:41"Is there a Starbucks up there?"
0:38:41 > 0:38:43The guy gestured with a sniper rifle.
0:38:43 > 0:38:44"Yeah, it's up there."
0:38:47 > 0:38:50So, as the year drew to a close, and everybody got ready for
0:38:50 > 0:38:54Christmas, high-street baking chain Greggs released an advent calendar.
0:38:54 > 0:38:57It featured this profoundly misguided image of three wise men
0:38:57 > 0:39:00surrounding baby Jesus, who was replaced with a sausage roll.
0:39:04 > 0:39:07See, I think they've gone too offensive there.
0:39:07 > 0:39:09Because how they going to top that next year?
0:39:09 > 0:39:13It's going to have to be a sausage roll flying into the second tower.
0:39:18 > 0:39:22Like, Princess Diana's car being forced off the road by a steak bake.
0:39:28 > 0:39:31Were you are offended by that? It's just a bit of fun, isn't it?
0:39:31 > 0:39:34I thought it was the best thing I'd ever seen.
0:39:34 > 0:39:37And if they can please me, a vegan,
0:39:37 > 0:39:39looking at a picture of a sausage roll...
0:39:39 > 0:39:41It looks like one of the wise men has brought him
0:39:41 > 0:39:43a can of beer or something?
0:39:43 > 0:39:44SLURRING: "Here you are, Jesus."
0:39:47 > 0:39:50So, that was 2017.
0:39:55 > 0:39:58How are you all feeling about 2018?
0:39:59 > 0:40:02We learned a lesson with 2016, didn't we?
0:40:02 > 0:40:05Because all the celebrities were dying, people were saying,
0:40:05 > 0:40:06"Oh, no, go away, 2016."
0:40:06 > 0:40:09And then we've had a bit of a rough go this year,
0:40:09 > 0:40:12so I think, plan for the best, hope for the worst.
0:40:12 > 0:40:13No, the other one.
0:40:19 > 0:40:21Hope for the best, plan for the worst.
0:40:21 > 0:40:24People anthropomorphised 2016, didn't they?
0:40:24 > 0:40:27"2016, you're killing people!"
0:40:27 > 0:40:30But they don't say 2017 is running around wanking at us.
0:40:34 > 0:40:35And it is time that changed.
0:40:38 > 0:40:40Well, that's the end of the show. Thanks to my guests,
0:40:40 > 0:40:42Sara Pascoe, Katherine Ryan, Miles Jupp and Mona Chalabi!
0:40:42 > 0:40:44APPLAUSE
0:40:59 > 0:41:02But before I go, I'd like to leave you with this thought.
0:41:02 > 0:41:05At some point next year, the world will end.
0:41:05 > 0:41:07It's impossible to imagine what it's like
0:41:07 > 0:41:09to be killed in a nuclear explosion.
0:41:09 > 0:41:12I know we think of it as being an instant death, but there's
0:41:12 > 0:41:14every chance that there'll be a few seconds where you'll be
0:41:14 > 0:41:17sailing out of your local school catchment area, at a height
0:41:17 > 0:41:21of about 100 feet or so, as some sort of screaming skeleton.
0:41:22 > 0:41:27Maybe you'll get to see your family melt before the blast picks you up,
0:41:27 > 0:41:30and your final memory will be of their faces devolving into Cubism.
0:41:34 > 0:41:36Or maybe it's more like
0:41:36 > 0:41:38being smashed to pieces by a wave of rubble.
0:41:38 > 0:41:42After all those years of driving into town to go to work
0:41:42 > 0:41:45or go shopping, your city centre will finally be coming to you...
0:41:49 > 0:41:51..moving at several thousand miles an hour.
0:41:53 > 0:41:56I think it's important to understand the people who, very soon now,
0:41:56 > 0:41:58will be all that remains of humanity.
0:41:58 > 0:42:01Survival bunkers will be strictly for our elites.
0:42:01 > 0:42:05Done out like the inside of the Titanic, these heavily guarded
0:42:05 > 0:42:08bases will be the centre of efforts to repopulate the planet.
0:42:08 > 0:42:10That's why wealthy older men
0:42:10 > 0:42:12have always been involved in beauty pageants -
0:42:12 > 0:42:14they've been sourcing breeding stock.
0:42:14 > 0:42:17While we're watching irradiated skin layers tumbleweed down the road
0:42:17 > 0:42:21like somersaulting ghosts, they'll be inside a hollow mountain,
0:42:21 > 0:42:24banging away on a mattress the size of the pitch at Wembley.
0:42:25 > 0:42:28The likes of Sepp Blatter and Richard Branson,
0:42:28 > 0:42:31their arthritic bones creaking like an armada,
0:42:31 > 0:42:34as they repeatedly are raised and lowered on a harness,
0:42:34 > 0:42:36onto a lobotomised beauty queen.
0:42:38 > 0:42:42As we mere citizens turn our lidless eyes to a charred pamphlet
0:42:42 > 0:42:44on how to fashion fallout-proof door seals from
0:42:44 > 0:42:49wet newspaper, our overlords will be having a genetic contribution
0:42:49 > 0:42:53the consistency of Dairylea milked from then with a double-handed
0:42:53 > 0:42:58action, more commonly associated with wringing out a wet flannel.
0:43:00 > 0:43:02Rupert Murdoch's wrinkled cum face,
0:43:02 > 0:43:06like a balloon that you'd find in a dead pensioner's flat.
0:43:09 > 0:43:12Excuse my venom, but I hate it when you're expecting
0:43:12 > 0:43:15an invitation to something and it doesn't turn up.
0:43:15 > 0:43:16Good night.
0:43:16 > 0:43:18APPLAUSE