Christmas Special

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0:00:02 > 0:00:06# I don't want a lot for Christmas There is just one thing I need... #

0:00:06 > 0:00:10- TANNOY:- Stacey Shipman, telephone call.

0:00:10 > 0:00:13Telephone call for Stacey Shipman.

0:00:14 > 0:00:16- Hello? Gav?- Hiya!

0:00:16 > 0:00:18What did they say? Were they nice? D'you think you got it?

0:00:18 > 0:00:21Which of those do you want me to answer first?

0:00:21 > 0:00:24- The last one. D'you think you got it?- Yeah, I do.

0:00:24 > 0:00:28- Why?- Well, 'cos at the end of the interview, they offered me the job!

0:00:28 > 0:00:29Ahhhhhhhh!

0:00:29 > 0:00:31They want me to start January 5th.

0:00:31 > 0:00:36Oh, my God! Right. Well, you're gonna have to go and talk to Ness. Get it over with.

0:00:36 > 0:00:39- I'm going straight there. She's on the island?- You can't miss her.

0:00:59 > 0:01:02All right, calm it down, all right?

0:01:02 > 0:01:03Gav!

0:01:03 > 0:01:10- All right, Dave?- Oh, I'm not being funny but don't call me Dave in front of the punters, all right?

0:01:10 > 0:01:13- It's Rudolph.- Sorry.- None taken.

0:01:13 > 0:01:16So what's going on? I thought we were coming to you.

0:01:16 > 0:01:19- Yeah. You are, it's just... - Bear with me, Gav. Oh. Emlyn.

0:01:19 > 0:01:21In you go.

0:01:23 > 0:01:27- Sorry, you were saying?- I'm in a bit of a rush. I need a word with Nessa.

0:01:27 > 0:01:30She's working - it's a busy time of year, you know.

0:01:30 > 0:01:32I literally need two minutes with her.

0:01:32 > 0:01:34OK but you're gonna have to queue. And it's two quid.

0:01:34 > 0:01:38- Dave, I just...- But you will get a gift.- I don't really want a gift.

0:01:38 > 0:01:40I don't think anyone does, Gav.

0:01:40 > 0:01:44They're not much cop if truth be told and we've had a lot of complaints. I tell you what,

0:01:44 > 0:01:47I'll let you in for a pound if you're leaving the gift.

0:01:47 > 0:01:49Right. Cheers.

0:01:59 > 0:02:03- Oh, my Christ. - Hiya!- Get out! Get out!

0:02:03 > 0:02:06- What? - Turn around, do not come in, Mick.

0:02:06 > 0:02:08Look, I just want to get to the kitchen!

0:02:08 > 0:02:12Well, do not look anywhere in my direction.

0:02:12 > 0:02:14Michael, I mean it!

0:02:14 > 0:02:17- I won't look at what you're wrapping. - How do you know I'm wrapping?!

0:02:17 > 0:02:20- Turn around. You'll ruin it. - I don't want to ruin it.

0:02:20 > 0:02:23I want the surprise. I'm looking forward to it.

0:02:23 > 0:02:25Well, stop trying to ruin it then!

0:02:25 > 0:02:27Right, you can look now.

0:02:29 > 0:02:32I thought we were only having little presents this year anyway?

0:02:32 > 0:02:34I know and I've done you a stocking.

0:02:34 > 0:02:38But when I saw this I just had to get it 'cos I fell in love with it.

0:02:38 > 0:02:39Just like you fell in love with me.

0:02:39 > 0:02:44Oh no, I fell in love with it much more than you.

0:02:44 > 0:02:46Come here!

0:02:46 > 0:02:48Now, have a look at this little lady.

0:02:48 > 0:02:53Bootiful, that is. Bootiful.

0:02:53 > 0:02:55This is a Norfolk Kerry Bronze, Pam.

0:02:55 > 0:02:58Hand-reared, free range. It's better than organic.

0:02:58 > 0:03:01Every year, this love affair with the bloody bird.

0:03:01 > 0:03:04What I'm saying is, it died happy and it's gonna taste

0:03:04 > 0:03:06all the better for it. Shame you can't have any.

0:03:06 > 0:03:09- Well, no, because I've thought this through.- What do you mean?

0:03:09 > 0:03:11I'm having the turkey.

0:03:11 > 0:03:13But they all think you're a vegetarian.

0:03:13 > 0:03:20I know but I've decided there's no way I'm doing Christmas without my Michael's turkey. No way, blase.

0:03:20 > 0:03:23So, I'm just gonna plate myself up, sit down and tuck in.

0:03:23 > 0:03:26And I'm having stuffing, pigs in blankets, the lot.

0:03:26 > 0:03:32And when the inevitable questions come, which they will, Michael, I shall simply say, I'm sorry,

0:03:32 > 0:03:35it's Christmas, please let me eat my dinner in peace

0:03:35 > 0:03:39the way Jesus would have wanted me to, on his birthday.

0:03:41 > 0:03:44Oi, Gav, get in the grotto. Oh.

0:03:46 > 0:03:49- Cheers, Dave... Rudolph.- Rudolph.

0:03:49 > 0:03:53Bear with me Gav, I'm working.

0:03:53 > 0:03:57O. O. O. Merry Christmas.

0:03:57 > 0:03:59- Did you send me a letter?- Yes.

0:03:59 > 0:04:02That's right, I remember. What was it you asked me for again?

0:04:02 > 0:04:07- An Xbox.- That's right, I remember. Now you're Sue's boy, is that right?

0:04:07 > 0:04:10- And Tony's your step?- Yes.

0:04:10 > 0:04:12Nasty business, all that.

0:04:12 > 0:04:15- Your dad's due for parole? Will he be out for Christmas?- No.

0:04:15 > 0:04:17No. Probably for the best.

0:04:17 > 0:04:20Given the amount of people that eventually came forward.

0:04:20 > 0:04:25Now, I don't want to disappoint you but I reckon the Xbox is a bit pie in the sky, like.

0:04:25 > 0:04:28You'd be better off lowering your expectations.

0:04:28 > 0:04:32I'm thinking Sega Mega Drive, maybe a PlayStation 1.

0:04:32 > 0:04:34But when you opens it, try and looked surprised.

0:04:34 > 0:04:39Cos your mother's been through enough this year without you sulking all over the shop.

0:04:39 > 0:04:43Now, here's a gift from me and Rudolph. Be on your way.

0:04:45 > 0:04:47All right, Gav, what's appertaining?

0:04:47 > 0:04:50Oh, Rudolph. How's the boy?

0:04:50 > 0:04:53- Neil?- Yeah.- He's fine, Father.

0:04:53 > 0:04:55Crackin'.

0:04:58 > 0:05:00No, thanks. Look, what it is...

0:05:00 > 0:05:03Oh, Gav. I'm not being funny, you've gotta sit on the knee.

0:05:03 > 0:05:05- It's the rules.- What?

0:05:05 > 0:05:07Don't worry, I've been checked. I'm not on the register.

0:05:15 > 0:05:16Look, it's a bit delicate.

0:05:16 > 0:05:18Go for it.

0:05:18 > 0:05:22- I've been offered a job. In Cardiff. - Tidy.

0:05:22 > 0:05:26It's with the same company and it's only for six months... Well, I say same company...

0:05:26 > 0:05:29- Oh, Gav, spare me the details, where to you going with this?- Well,

0:05:29 > 0:05:32I hope you won't take this the wrong way but we were wondering

0:05:32 > 0:05:35how you'd feel about letting Stace have her room back?

0:05:35 > 0:05:40It's just we don't know how it's gonna work out and there's no point us getting a place...

0:05:40 > 0:05:42- Leave it with me. - WHISTLES PATHETICALLY

0:05:48 > 0:05:49FAILED WHISTLE

0:05:54 > 0:05:57- AND ANOTHER - Oh, Rudolph!

0:05:57 > 0:05:58Father?

0:05:58 > 0:06:02Can me and Neil move in the caravan with you? Gav's got a job.

0:06:02 > 0:06:06- He needs the room at Gwen's. - Sure thing, sugar tits.

0:06:06 > 0:06:09Done and dusted, kippers and custard. Now, I gotta get on.

0:06:09 > 0:06:15- Here's your gift.- Actually, Ness, he's not eligible for the gift. He only paid a pound.- Right.

0:06:15 > 0:06:19- We'll see you tonight down Essex. - You coming with us on the bus?

0:06:19 > 0:06:22Nah, I've got the car. I gotta get back cos there's wrapping to do...

0:06:22 > 0:06:26Oh, Gav. It's not all about you and I got other kids to see.

0:06:26 > 0:06:29- Now be on your way.- Yeah.

0:06:29 > 0:06:31Sorry.

0:06:37 > 0:06:38# It's Christmas time

0:06:41 > 0:06:43# There's no need to be afraid

0:06:45 > 0:06:48# At Christmas time

0:06:48 > 0:06:52# We let in light And we banish shade

0:06:54 > 0:06:58# But in our world of plenty... #

0:06:58 > 0:07:00Oh, come on, dickhead!

0:07:00 > 0:07:02# ..smile of joy

0:07:02 > 0:07:06# Throw your arms... # Oh, just go, mate!

0:07:06 > 0:07:08# ..at Christmas time... #

0:07:08 > 0:07:10HONKS HORN

0:07:10 > 0:07:17# But say a prayer Pray for the other ones... #

0:07:17 > 0:07:19MOBILE RINGS

0:07:19 > 0:07:21# At Christmas time

0:07:21 > 0:07:25# It's hard but when you're having fun... #

0:07:25 > 0:07:27Gavelar!

0:07:27 > 0:07:32# There's a world outside your window... #

0:07:32 > 0:07:35- Come on, sing it! - # A world of dread and fear...

0:07:35 > 0:07:36Yes!

0:07:36 > 0:07:40- # Where the only water...- flowing...

0:07:40 > 0:07:42# Is the bitter sting...

0:07:42 > 0:07:44# ..of tears

0:07:44 > 0:07:48# And the Christmas bells that ring there

0:07:48 > 0:07:50# Are the clanging chimes of...

0:07:50 > 0:07:55- # Doom, it's doom - Well tonight, thank God it's them...

0:07:55 > 0:07:58# Instead of you... #

0:07:58 > 0:08:02- Oh, my God!- That is a great song. - A modern Christmas classic.

0:08:02 > 0:08:06- Geldof at his best.- Don't forget Majure. Always gets overlooked.

0:08:06 > 0:08:10- Do you mean Midge Ure?- That's what I said, Majure.- It's not one word. It's two. Midge Ure.

0:08:10 > 0:08:13Is it? I thought it was Majure. Like majure cheddar.

0:08:13 > 0:08:16Look, anyway, why have you left me six messages?

0:08:16 > 0:08:20- SHOUTS:- Because it's Christmas!

0:08:20 > 0:08:22How's the shopping going?

0:08:22 > 0:08:24I ain't started. I overslept.

0:08:24 > 0:08:27- Who've you got to get for. - Everyone I know. Where are you?

0:08:27 > 0:08:30Erm, I'm just leaving work.

0:08:30 > 0:08:33Are you? I'm just around the corner. I'll come and meet you.

0:08:33 > 0:08:36No, no, no, it's OK. You've got your shopping to do.

0:08:36 > 0:08:38You can help me. I've got time - two hours.

0:08:38 > 0:08:42- Well, you can't come here anyway. - Why? What's going on?- Nothing.

0:08:42 > 0:08:46- Er, I've got your present in the car. - What you got me?- I'm not saying.

0:08:46 > 0:08:50- Oh, go on, I'll still act surprised in front of Stacey.- No!

0:08:50 > 0:08:52- Is it clothes?- No.- Can I eat it?

0:08:52 > 0:08:54- No.- I know what it is.- What?

0:08:54 > 0:08:57- I'm not saying.- Go on, say. - No, you have to guess.- What?

0:08:57 > 0:08:59- Well, you wouldn't tell me. - OK, I can live with that.

0:08:59 > 0:09:02- Oh, just tell me! - No. Look, I gotta go.

0:09:02 > 0:09:06- I'll see you tonight.- All right. What time do you want me there? - Er, any time, really.

0:09:06 > 0:09:08Coolio Iglesias.

0:09:10 > 0:09:11- Smithy...- Yeah?

0:09:11 > 0:09:15- You're a really good mate. You know that, don't you.- You're so gay!

0:09:15 > 0:09:17See ya.

0:09:17 > 0:09:22Laters. # ..Feed the world

0:09:22 > 0:09:26# Let them know it's Christmas time

0:09:26 > 0:09:30# Feed the world

0:09:30 > 0:09:34# Let them know it's Christmas time

0:09:34 > 0:09:36# Feed the... #

0:09:36 > 0:09:40- Hiya, luv, come in!- I won't stop, I've got a million things to do.

0:09:40 > 0:09:42I just wanted to give you this.

0:09:42 > 0:09:45Oh, thanks, Gwen. Did you like the talc?

0:09:45 > 0:09:48Well, I've not opened it yet. I was keeping it for Christmas Day.

0:09:48 > 0:09:51Well, it's talc, it is.

0:09:51 > 0:09:54Right, I'll be off then.

0:09:54 > 0:09:56Bye, luv. See you tomorrow.

0:09:56 > 0:09:59- See you, Gwen.- Bye, Scott.

0:09:59 > 0:10:02- How's it all going? - He's good as gold he is, Gwen.

0:10:02 > 0:10:05I'm meeting his mother tomorrow, spending the day with them.

0:10:05 > 0:10:09- Oh, I know Alison, we were in Guides together.- Were you?

0:10:09 > 0:10:11Happy Christmas Eve, one and all!

0:10:11 > 0:10:12Happy Christmas!

0:10:12 > 0:10:15- That's a big one, Bryn.- I know!

0:10:15 > 0:10:20Phew! We're only there for two days but I've got all the presents, haven't I?

0:10:20 > 0:10:24- Well, there'll be plenty of room on the bus.- Now. Nessa and Dave.

0:10:24 > 0:10:29- What's their ETA? Estimated time of arrival?- Half two.

0:10:29 > 0:10:33Well, in that case, there's plenty of time for a glass of this.

0:10:33 > 0:10:37Doris, will you join us in a mint Baileys for Christmas?

0:10:37 > 0:10:39I won't, Bryn.

0:10:39 > 0:10:41I've been drinking all day.

0:10:41 > 0:10:43I'm drunk now if the truth be told.

0:10:43 > 0:10:46The thing with Scott is, he's a bit of a pot-head, he is.

0:10:46 > 0:10:51He loves his skunk and he's been trying to get me to have a go.

0:10:51 > 0:10:54Well, the thing is, I did all that back in the '60s.

0:10:54 > 0:10:56- Bongs and...- Happy memories, eh?

0:10:56 > 0:11:02I know, and I said to him, you knock yourself out, luv, but I'm sticking to the wine.

0:11:02 > 0:11:08Well, that was 10 o'clock this morning and to tell you the truth, Gwen, I'm absolutely twatted.

0:11:08 > 0:11:11Well, that's what Christmas is all about, isn't it?

0:11:15 > 0:11:17Stacey!

0:11:17 > 0:11:19Stacey!

0:11:30 > 0:11:32Ow! Oh...

0:11:32 > 0:11:36- Are you all right? - No, that really hurt... - What you doing here?

0:11:36 > 0:11:41- Right, I've got an hour to do all my presents and I need your discount. What is it? 60, 70%?- 20.

0:11:41 > 0:11:44- That'll have to do.- It's a sackable offence to share our discount.

0:11:44 > 0:11:47- What's the point of working here then?!- What do you need?

0:11:47 > 0:11:49Talc for Nana Joyce, talc for Jackie Collins.

0:11:49 > 0:11:53- Jackie Collins?- My other nan. She's called Jackie Collins.

0:11:53 > 0:11:55- Talc. Really? Talc? - Well, y'know, bath shit.

0:11:55 > 0:11:58We've got some lovely bath shit quite cheap.

0:11:58 > 0:12:01Dream. Jumper for Mum or a blouse or a skirt or a pair of shoes or a hat.

0:12:01 > 0:12:05- Already got a CD for Rudi, I just need some underwear for Lucy.- OK. - Cool.

0:12:05 > 0:12:07So are you two definitely back together then?

0:12:07 > 0:12:12I'm hoping the present will swing it. I've got a Tiffany bracelet and My Little Pony.

0:12:12 > 0:12:15- My Little...?- She collects them. Them and Sylvanian Families.

0:12:15 > 0:12:20- OK. Well, are you thinking thong or full pants or what?- I dunno really.

0:12:20 > 0:12:22- Not full pants. - Well, the thong is like this,

0:12:22 > 0:12:27goes right up. Or you've got something like this, which shows a bit of bum cheek.

0:12:27 > 0:12:30Or see these ones I'm wearing, these are from here.

0:12:30 > 0:12:33You'd never know. They're lush! See the bit of detailing?

0:12:35 > 0:12:38Yeah, I mean that's... Something like that's fine.

0:12:38 > 0:12:42Now what about a bra? Do you want something comfy or sluttish?

0:12:42 > 0:12:46- I honestly don't know.- Well, do you want to uplift them like this...

0:12:46 > 0:12:47or push 'em in like this?

0:12:51 > 0:12:53That, the...

0:12:53 > 0:12:57- That one. The second one. - I got you! Come with me.

0:12:57 > 0:12:59I'm worried about this bird, y'know.

0:12:59 > 0:13:01- Why, darling?- I dunno. The water,

0:13:01 > 0:13:04the bucket, the soaking, all this other nonsense.

0:13:04 > 0:13:06But if it's what Nigella says.

0:13:06 > 0:13:10Yeah, and Pete says it's fabulous, but I'm just not confident.

0:13:10 > 0:13:11Not with so many eating with us.

0:13:11 > 0:13:17- I should've stuck with Jamie Oliver. I know where I am with him. - Oh, look at that, "From John".

0:13:17 > 0:13:19What a waste of a tree.

0:13:19 > 0:13:21John who? John Rotary?

0:13:21 > 0:13:23I don't know, Mick. It could be mechanic John,

0:13:23 > 0:13:25John with the glasses...

0:13:25 > 0:13:26it won't be John from Ann and John.

0:13:26 > 0:13:29What about John Snape? It could be John Snape.

0:13:29 > 0:13:31Could be. Yeah, it'll be John Snape.

0:13:31 > 0:13:36Yeah, peppercorns, peppercorns, Pam. How many's a handful? Ten?

0:13:36 > 0:13:38No, more than that.

0:13:38 > 0:13:41That's John Snape!

0:13:41 > 0:13:44What is the point of sending cards that arrive on Christmas Eve?

0:13:44 > 0:13:46They'll get taken down in a few days.

0:13:46 > 0:13:49That's why I send all mine on the first of November.

0:13:49 > 0:13:51Gives people seven weeks to enjoy them.

0:13:51 > 0:13:55- Oh, here they are!- Oh, lovely!

0:13:55 > 0:13:58THEY GOBBLE LIKE TURKEYS

0:14:02 > 0:14:06- Pam, that's a chicken, you silly mare!- Oh, yeah!

0:14:06 > 0:14:10- So come on, where is she? - She's in the garage, come on, let's go and get her.

0:14:10 > 0:14:12- What do I owe you, Mick?- 56.

0:14:12 > 0:14:15£56! Bloody hell, Pam.

0:14:15 > 0:14:17It is a nice one though, Dawn.

0:14:17 > 0:14:19It's a Norfolk Kerry Bronze.

0:14:19 > 0:14:22- I know, but there's only the four of us.- What about Pete's mum?

0:14:22 > 0:14:24She barely eats, poor love.

0:14:24 > 0:14:27She might have a bit of mashed up banana but that's about it.

0:14:27 > 0:14:30- Ah, where is she now? - We put her to bed.

0:14:30 > 0:14:34- Couple of Nitol, she'll be out of it till the morning.- Oh, right.

0:14:34 > 0:14:37Pete's got one of them alarm things, you know, so she wakes up,

0:14:37 > 0:14:39she just pulls a cord, he'll be round there like a shot.

0:14:39 > 0:14:41Did you get a card from John?

0:14:41 > 0:14:46John? Oh, it was your John, step-brother John!

0:14:46 > 0:14:49- Does he just write, "From John"? - That's him!

0:14:49 > 0:14:52Do you know, he's been to Nepal three times!

0:14:52 > 0:14:56Dawn, she is a beauty!

0:14:56 > 0:14:59- It was Dawn's John! Step-brother, John.- Step-brother John.

0:14:59 > 0:15:02Were you confused 'cos he just writes, "From John,"?

0:15:02 > 0:15:06- Yeah!- You know, he's been to Nepal three times.

0:15:06 > 0:15:09MISTLETOE AND WINE PLAYS ON TV

0:15:09 > 0:15:12Gosh. That is nice.

0:15:12 > 0:15:16You think you've tried it all, you think there can't possibly

0:15:16 > 0:15:19be anywhere else to go with it, and then they come up with this.

0:15:19 > 0:15:21Mint Baileys!

0:15:21 > 0:15:22I mean, what will they think of next?

0:15:22 > 0:15:26- I know. It's like the white Toblerone - Can you get white Toblerones?

0:15:26 > 0:15:30- Yes. I've got some for tomorrow. - Well, I for one can't wait!

0:15:30 > 0:15:34Not just for the Toblerone, but for the whole thing.

0:15:34 > 0:15:38Do you know this will be my first Christmas outside of South Wales?

0:15:38 > 0:15:40Me too.

0:15:41 > 0:15:43HORN TOOTS

0:15:43 > 0:15:45- That's them.- Here they are.

0:15:50 > 0:15:52Merry Christmas to you all.

0:15:52 > 0:15:55- David.- Hiya, Dave.

0:15:55 > 0:15:58- How did you get on today? - I reckon we cleared about 70 quid.

0:15:58 > 0:16:00Not bad.

0:16:00 > 0:16:03Any more complaints about the gifts?

0:16:03 > 0:16:06- One or two but that's par for the course.- Where is he?

0:16:06 > 0:16:11Oh, look! Hello, my lovely. You gonna come to your Aunty Gwen?

0:16:11 > 0:16:15Cheers, Gwen. I'm going down the back for a smoke.

0:16:15 > 0:16:17- All right, love.- Right.

0:16:17 > 0:16:19Christmas in Essex here we come!

0:16:28 > 0:16:31- Hiya!- They've started early.

0:16:31 > 0:16:33They work in Dixons, they do.

0:16:33 > 0:16:36- Did you get Nessa's present?- Yes. I got her some goalkeeping gloves.

0:16:36 > 0:16:38Goalkeeping gloves?

0:16:38 > 0:16:42- Yeah. Sondicos they are, Gav. - Would she want a pair of them?

0:16:42 > 0:16:44She's thinking about getting back to it.

0:16:44 > 0:16:48- She used to coach at Coventry City. Still good friends with Steve Ogrizovic.- OK.

0:16:48 > 0:16:50Come on, then. Let's get a move on.

0:16:50 > 0:16:53- Don't I get a kiss? - No, you haven't got any mistletoe.

0:16:53 > 0:16:55- I have, but it's in my pants.- Gav!

0:16:58 > 0:17:01- Well done on the job, babes. - Thanks.- Have you told your dad yet?

0:17:01 > 0:17:05- No.- Do you think your mum will be OK? - No.- What about Smithy?

0:17:05 > 0:17:07He'll never speak to me again.

0:17:19 > 0:17:22Now you've got to be careful on this next level.

0:17:22 > 0:17:27You think they're gonna come at you from the back of the truck and suddenly they come round the wall.

0:17:27 > 0:17:31I got you. Oh, Gwen. How's the baby?

0:17:31 > 0:17:33Oh, he's fine, love.

0:17:33 > 0:17:35He's enjoying the massage, he is.

0:17:35 > 0:17:39- Dave, you just let us know when you want to get going.- Cheers, Gwen.

0:17:39 > 0:17:42I just needed a break from the driving, you know.

0:17:46 > 0:17:48I'm not sure about this, Pete.

0:17:48 > 0:17:50Have I put it in too early?

0:17:50 > 0:17:53What harm's it gonna do? It's only a bucket of water, Mick.

0:17:53 > 0:17:56There's cinnamon and all sorts in there.

0:17:56 > 0:17:58I won't be putting mine in till I go to bed.

0:17:58 > 0:18:02What? Oh, don't say that. Right, I'm gonna take it out.

0:18:02 > 0:18:05- I would!- Yeah, take it out. Put it back in later.

0:18:05 > 0:18:07BEEPER GOES

0:18:07 > 0:18:10Right, Dawn, we have got to go. This has gone off four times now.

0:18:10 > 0:18:13She'll be OK. What's the worst that could happen?

0:18:13 > 0:18:16- She's locked in.- I just think I should check, that's all.

0:18:16 > 0:18:20Well, you go then, and come back later when the Barry lot've arrived.

0:18:20 > 0:18:22All right. Well, I'll just finish this.

0:18:22 > 0:18:24BEEPER

0:18:24 > 0:18:27- No, I've really got to go. - All right, my love.

0:18:27 > 0:18:29Mick? I'm just gonna check on my mum.

0:18:29 > 0:18:32- I'll be back in a bit. - She does my head in.

0:18:34 > 0:18:37- Hello, you two. - Hiya. Happy Christmas.- You off?

0:18:37 > 0:18:38I just gotta check on my mum.

0:18:38 > 0:18:42- See you.- Hi, Gav, hi, Stace.- Hiya!

0:18:42 > 0:18:45- Hiya!- You fancy some bubbly? - Yes, please.

0:18:47 > 0:18:51- How'd you get on?- I got it! - Oh, come here.

0:18:51 > 0:18:54Well done, mate. How do you feel?

0:18:54 > 0:18:55Well, good, I think.

0:18:55 > 0:18:58But what about Mum? And Smithy?

0:18:58 > 0:19:00Listen, it's all gonna be all right.

0:19:00 > 0:19:02Should I wait till after Christmas to say?

0:19:02 > 0:19:07What's the point? Tell 'em tonight. They've got all of Christmas then to get used to it.

0:19:07 > 0:19:09What are you two whispering about?

0:19:09 > 0:19:12- Turkey!- Oh, it's like he's got another woman, Gav.

0:19:12 > 0:19:15I'm gonna open some more wine.

0:19:17 > 0:19:20DOORBELL CHIMES

0:19:20 > 0:19:24- Smithy!- Pamela! Noel! Noel!

0:19:24 > 0:19:27God rest ye merry gentlemen.

0:19:27 > 0:19:31Gavalarenus! Stacerini!

0:19:31 > 0:19:35Get in here now! Dawn Cheadle, star of Ocean's 11 and 12!

0:19:35 > 0:19:38Somewhat overlooked in 13. When the hell are we getting it on?

0:19:38 > 0:19:41- Hello, darling. - Ooh, someone's been on the booze.

0:19:41 > 0:19:45- Where's Pete? Where's P Diddly? - He's gone to check on his mum.

0:19:45 > 0:19:47- Not locking her in this Christmas? - Smithy!

0:19:47 > 0:19:50- You're chipper.- It's Christmas, Gav.

0:19:50 > 0:19:53My son's on his way down. Spending my first Christmas with my boy.

0:19:53 > 0:19:56Unfortunately his mother and boyfriend are coming too. Plus,

0:19:56 > 0:20:02Mick's doing some Nigella shit with that turkey that I cannot WAIT to get inside me!

0:20:02 > 0:20:05Come on, Eileen!

0:20:05 > 0:20:08Chinese Alan's got two tickets for the West Ham game. 3rd Feb.

0:20:08 > 0:20:11- I said we'd be up for it. - Yeah, great, definitely.

0:20:11 > 0:20:13Mid-week game, under the lights.

0:20:13 > 0:20:15Is it? Let's see nearer the time.

0:20:15 > 0:20:17Shall I stick my presents under the tree?

0:20:17 > 0:20:21- What've you got?!- Didn't have no wrapping paper. So I used tin foil.

0:20:21 > 0:20:24But it's actually a dream, cos you need no sellotape.

0:20:24 > 0:20:26You just scrunch and done.

0:20:26 > 0:20:30Right, let's get this party started. Who's for a beveragey?

0:20:30 > 0:20:31PHONE RINGS

0:20:31 > 0:20:33Ooh. I've got it.

0:20:35 > 0:20:37Le Gavlar Residence.

0:20:37 > 0:20:39All right. What's occurring?

0:20:39 > 0:20:40Oh, hey. You all right?

0:20:40 > 0:20:43How you doing? How's Neil?

0:20:43 > 0:20:46He's all right. He's been a bit sick, he has.

0:20:46 > 0:20:48Oh, my God, is he OK?

0:20:48 > 0:20:50He's fine. It's completely normal.

0:20:50 > 0:20:54- We'll be there in an hour. All right?- Yeah, great.

0:20:54 > 0:20:56Just want to make sure Pam keeps us some food, like.

0:20:56 > 0:21:00Yeah. I'm sure it will be fine.

0:21:00 > 0:21:05- Right, I'll see you then.- Yeah. - All right.

0:21:05 > 0:21:07- Who was that?- Them lot. They'll be here in an hour.

0:21:07 > 0:21:09Ooh! Better get me quiches in!

0:21:09 > 0:21:12- Was that Smithy?- Yeah.

0:21:12 > 0:21:15- How is he? All right?- Yeah.

0:21:15 > 0:21:19Turn it up, Dave. I love Chris Rea.

0:21:19 > 0:21:23# And it's been so long

0:21:23 > 0:21:29# But I will be there I sing this song

0:21:29 > 0:21:32# To pass the time away

0:21:32 > 0:21:35# Driving in my car

0:21:35 > 0:21:38# Driving home from Christmas

0:21:41 > 0:21:43# It's gonna take some time

0:21:43 > 0:21:45# But I'll get there

0:21:47 > 0:21:51# Top to toe in tailbacks

0:21:51 > 0:21:54# Oh, I got red lights all around

0:21:57 > 0:22:02# But soon there'll be a freeway Yeah

0:22:02 > 0:22:07# He's driving home, driving home

0:22:07 > 0:22:09# Driving home for Christmas... #

0:22:09 > 0:22:11..Absolutely covered in the stuff.

0:22:11 > 0:22:14Oh, my God. It's them. They're here! They're here.

0:22:14 > 0:22:16It's them. Oh, my god.

0:22:19 > 0:22:21- Hiya!- Bryn's got mistletoe!

0:22:21 > 0:22:24Who's first?

0:22:24 > 0:22:26- Merry Christmas. - Where is he? Where's my boy?

0:22:26 > 0:22:31- Hang on. Not till you've done the mistletoe.- Brynlar!

0:22:33 > 0:22:36- Who's next? Mick! - Happy Christmas, Bryn.

0:22:36 > 0:22:40Here you go. Happy Christmas.

0:22:40 > 0:22:44Continental! Gavin. You're the only one left.

0:22:51 > 0:22:53- You OK? How was the journey? - Yeah, it was all right.

0:22:53 > 0:22:57I kept him awake most of the time so he should sleep through tonight.

0:22:57 > 0:23:00Yeah? Are you gonna sleep all the way till Christmas morning, eh?

0:23:00 > 0:23:04- And see what Santa brings you? Yeah? - BABY CRIES

0:23:04 > 0:23:06What's all this?

0:23:06 > 0:23:09Come on. Ssh.

0:23:09 > 0:23:12- He probably needs changing. - What's brought this on, little man?

0:23:12 > 0:23:15- Give him here a minute.- It's all right.- I got a special trick.

0:23:16 > 0:23:19CRYING STOPS

0:23:19 > 0:23:22Where to shall I put him down, Mick?

0:23:22 > 0:23:25In the back room. I'll bring your stuff through.

0:23:27 > 0:23:30Right, everyone. Come on! Food!

0:23:42 > 0:23:49# Rockin' around the Christmas tree Have a Christmas party hop

0:23:49 > 0:23:53# Mistletoe hung where you can see... #

0:23:53 > 0:23:57I do find that Dave attractive, you know, Pam.

0:23:57 > 0:23:59You do know he lives in a caravan like a gyppo?

0:23:59 > 0:24:04Ah! Really? See, that's even more of a turn on. Free spirit.

0:24:04 > 0:24:08You like the gingers, don't you?

0:24:08 > 0:24:10I do. I always have, Pam.

0:24:10 > 0:24:12Not too ginger, like Chris Evans.

0:24:12 > 0:24:16I like them more Charles Dance or Anthony Worral Thompson.

0:24:18 > 0:24:22- Gav was in Cardiff today? And he never came to see us? - He couldn't. He had to get back.

0:24:22 > 0:24:25- No-one else knew he was there, only Mick.- When will he find out?

0:24:25 > 0:24:28He already has. He starts in two weeks.

0:24:28 > 0:24:31- I'm coming back home, Mam! - Oh, Stace, that's fantastic!

0:24:31 > 0:24:34- Don't tell anyone. We haven't told Pam yet.- Oh, my god!

0:24:34 > 0:24:36- DOORBELL - I'll get it.

0:24:39 > 0:24:44- Hiya, Pete. Come in.- This is my mum. - Hiya!- Dawn, it's Pete.

0:24:44 > 0:24:46- He's brought Edna.- What?

0:24:48 > 0:24:54- Everyone, this is Edna, Pete's mum. - Hello, Edna. How's it going?

0:24:54 > 0:24:58- All right?- Can I get you something, darling?- She just needs to sit down.

0:24:58 > 0:25:02- Pete, what the hell are you doing bringing her here?- Don't. It's been a nightmare.

0:25:02 > 0:25:05By the time I put her to bed, she needed the loo.

0:25:05 > 0:25:07Every time I tried to leave, she'd press the alarm again.

0:25:07 > 0:25:09In the end I just gave up.

0:25:09 > 0:25:11Here y'are. Get this down you.

0:25:12 > 0:25:16Hello. My name is Bryn. It means hill in Welsh.

0:25:16 > 0:25:21I wouldn't bother. She doesn't speak. Hasn't said a word in years.

0:25:21 > 0:25:22Ahem!

0:25:24 > 0:25:27- DOORBELL - Merry Christmas. I'll get it.

0:25:27 > 0:25:30- You sure?- I've got my mistletoe.

0:25:30 > 0:25:32Merry Christmas!

0:25:32 > 0:25:33Merry Christmas, Uncle Bryn.

0:25:35 > 0:25:36Jason...

0:25:38 > 0:25:40- Can I come in?- Course, course.

0:25:40 > 0:25:42Jason's here, everyone!

0:25:42 > 0:25:48- Oh, lovely.- Yes, Jaynana. Making you a Snowball.

0:25:48 > 0:25:50Hello. Happy Christmas.

0:25:50 > 0:25:52Hello, Dawn.

0:25:52 > 0:25:55Mick! Jason's here!

0:25:55 > 0:25:56Come on!

0:25:58 > 0:26:03I've been online. There's a lot of people have had problems with this turkey recipe.

0:26:07 > 0:26:09Guys, guys. Can I just...?

0:26:09 > 0:26:11Stace, do you wanna?

0:26:13 > 0:26:17OK, well, now that Jason's here, we've got something we want to tell you all.

0:26:17 > 0:26:19Oh, my god. You're pregnant!

0:26:19 > 0:26:22Didn't I say, Mick? Didn't I say?

0:26:22 > 0:26:24Mum, Mum. Stacey's not pregnant.

0:26:24 > 0:26:25- Oh.- What are you like?

0:26:25 > 0:26:28Every time he opens his mouth, you think she's pregnant.

0:26:28 > 0:26:32OK, well, I'm just gonna come out with it.

0:26:32 > 0:26:36The company I work for about a year and a half ago, bought into another company.

0:26:36 > 0:26:39Oh!

0:26:39 > 0:26:43They expanded and as a result, I've been offered a promotion.

0:26:43 > 0:26:46- CHEERING - That's the spirit Gavlar!

0:26:46 > 0:26:51- Chin chin!- Right. Thanks, yeah. I'm really chuffed. And the other good news...

0:26:51 > 0:26:56Well, WE see it as good news, is that the new job is with the new branch.

0:26:56 > 0:26:59- There's swish!- In Cardiff.

0:26:59 > 0:27:01Cardiff? You're gonna be knackered, mate.

0:27:01 > 0:27:06That's a seven-hour round trip, every day. They paying your expenses?

0:27:06 > 0:27:08No, the thing is..

0:27:08 > 0:27:10We're moving back to Barry.

0:27:10 > 0:27:14- What?!- Just for the first six months to see how it goes.

0:27:14 > 0:27:18- Six months?- Oh, I get it. You! You couldn't wait, could you?

0:27:18 > 0:27:22- Six months!- From day one, you got your claws in and now you're

0:27:22 > 0:27:25trying to take him away from me. Look, let me just explain.

0:27:25 > 0:27:28- Calm down.- Why are you shouting?

0:27:28 > 0:27:31- I'm not shouting.- Listen to the tone of your voice...

0:27:31 > 0:27:32It's a really good deal.

0:27:32 > 0:27:34How do you know?

0:27:34 > 0:27:37Gavin told me a few weeks back.

0:27:37 > 0:27:39- What, so he knew about this?- Yeah.

0:27:39 > 0:27:42And I did. Stacey wanted me to know.

0:27:42 > 0:27:45Oh, I can just hear you. You and her and her in cahoots...

0:27:45 > 0:27:47I thought we agreed only to talk to Dad?

0:27:47 > 0:27:50I was excited, Gav.

0:27:50 > 0:27:51..The bitches of Eastwick!

0:27:51 > 0:27:53Don't bring me into this, Pam.

0:27:53 > 0:27:56You ARE in this, Vanessa.

0:27:56 > 0:27:57How? What's Ness got to do with it?

0:27:57 > 0:28:04- If you wanna make something of it, I'll see you outside. No problem. - Right, come on then.

0:28:04 > 0:28:07You don't want to do that, Pam. She was South Wales wrestling champion.

0:28:07 > 0:28:10I don't care. I'll take the lot of you on, you bloody...

0:28:10 > 0:28:12- You Taffs! - You want some, do you, Pam?

0:28:12 > 0:28:14This is ridiculous!

0:28:14 > 0:28:17- Let's not make turn this into a race issue.- Leave it out, Bryn.

0:28:17 > 0:28:22This is getting out of control. Why doesn't everyone just calm down?

0:28:22 > 0:28:23This is nothing to do with you.

0:28:23 > 0:28:27- I'll back you all the way. Hit her in the face. - What you saying, Dawn?

0:28:27 > 0:28:31I'm telling her to punch you in the face, you truck-driving dyke.

0:28:31 > 0:28:33Oh, Pete. Control your wife.

0:28:33 > 0:28:36- I'll control you in a minute, sunshine.- Come on, then. - Come on, then!

0:28:36 > 0:28:38- Whoa, whoa.- I got your back.

0:28:38 > 0:28:41Stay out of it, fat man. This is between me and Scrappy Doo.

0:28:41 > 0:28:46- What'd you call me?- Please don't make this harder than it already is. - Make it harder than it already is?!

0:28:46 > 0:28:47SHRIEKS

0:28:49 > 0:28:52- You all right, Dave?- Yeah.

0:28:53 > 0:28:56Sorry, everyone.

0:28:56 > 0:28:58No-one talks about my wife like that.

0:28:58 > 0:29:00Oh, my Pete.

0:29:00 > 0:29:02Come on, Dawn.

0:29:02 > 0:29:05I think we'd better leave.

0:29:05 > 0:29:07Night, everyone.

0:29:07 > 0:29:09Night, Dawny.

0:29:11 > 0:29:14- I should go too. - Smithy!- Not now, Gav.

0:29:16 > 0:29:18I think we should go too, back to Barry.

0:29:18 > 0:29:22- This has been a terrible mistake. - No, Bryn, just stop a minute.

0:29:22 > 0:29:29It's very late, we've all had a drink, some more than others, and it's Christmas Eve.

0:29:29 > 0:29:34Why don't we just all go to bed, have a good night's rest, and in the morning we can start again?

0:29:34 > 0:29:36What do you think?

0:29:47 > 0:29:50I forgot my turkey.

0:29:59 > 0:30:02- All right?- I think so.

0:30:02 > 0:30:04Mum's not speaking to me.

0:30:04 > 0:30:06She's just hurt I never told her about it.

0:30:06 > 0:30:08She said a Shipman never keeps secrets.

0:30:08 > 0:30:12She'll be all right tomorrow. She's not gonna not speak to you on Christmas.

0:30:12 > 0:30:16- Well, it's up to her. If she can't see this is the right thing to do... - Are you sure it is?

0:30:16 > 0:30:19Yes! I'm really excited about it.

0:30:19 > 0:30:21I love you.

0:30:21 > 0:30:22I love you.

0:31:01 > 0:31:02Uncle Bryn?

0:31:02 > 0:31:04Sorry, I thought you were asleep.

0:31:04 > 0:31:06No. I can't get off, to be honest.

0:31:06 > 0:31:08Neither can I. That's why I'm having a milk.

0:31:08 > 0:31:12- Oh, I might join you.- If I were at home, I'd have a Nesquik,

0:31:12 > 0:31:17but I don't think they've got any and I daren't look through the cupboards.

0:31:17 > 0:31:19- What flavour do you have?- Banana.

0:31:19 > 0:31:21Or strawberry.

0:31:21 > 0:31:22Or chocolate.

0:31:30 > 0:31:34- Funny old night... - It doesn't feel like Christmas...

0:31:34 > 0:31:36- Sorry.- All that arguing. Reminds me of when Dad was alive.

0:31:36 > 0:31:40Oh, god! Christmas with your father.

0:31:40 > 0:31:44Do you know, it's the one time of the year I don't miss him.

0:31:44 > 0:31:48- I know. No turkey. Pork chops! - Pork chops on Christmas Day!

0:31:48 > 0:31:51And no presents. I had to smuggle mine in.

0:31:51 > 0:31:57- I remember us getting caught when you gave me that Han Solo. - There's me pretending it was mine.

0:32:03 > 0:32:05I'm glad we're friends again, Uncle Bryn.

0:32:05 > 0:32:07Me too.

0:32:13 > 0:32:17Probably did us a favour, in the end, you telling Dave.

0:32:18 > 0:32:20Yes.

0:32:22 > 0:32:26- Does he ever, y'know, does he mention it?- No.

0:32:28 > 0:32:31There's the occasional comment, the odd look.

0:32:31 > 0:32:35Times when I know he's wondering how a man and his nephew could...

0:32:35 > 0:32:37Yeah, yeah, I know.

0:32:41 > 0:32:43Right.

0:32:43 > 0:32:44- I'm gonna get off.- Me too.

0:32:46 > 0:32:49- Good night, Uncle Bryn. - Good night, Jason.

0:32:56 > 0:32:59- We were just having a milk. - I need to get some milk for Neil...

0:33:02 > 0:33:07- David, it is not what you think. - Listen, it's none of my...

0:33:07 > 0:33:10- You can do whatever you like.- Oh, for God's sake. I'm going to bed.

0:33:10 > 0:33:12No, Jason.

0:33:12 > 0:33:16We're gonna have this out, once and for all, man to man.

0:33:16 > 0:33:18You don't need to do this, Bryn.

0:33:18 > 0:33:21You don't need to put yourself through this again.

0:33:21 > 0:33:23- Yes, I do.- Please, Uncle Bryn.

0:33:23 > 0:33:25No, Jason.

0:33:25 > 0:33:28It is time for the truth.

0:33:28 > 0:33:31We are going to talk about what happened on that fishing trip.

0:33:31 > 0:33:36- Right here, right now.- But Bryn, I already know what happened.

0:33:36 > 0:33:40You may know what happened, David.

0:33:40 > 0:33:42But you don't know why it happened.

0:33:48 > 0:33:53It was freezing cold. It was! And when you are that cold...

0:33:53 > 0:33:56- All right? - I was just getting some milk.

0:33:56 > 0:33:57Done now. Bed.

0:34:00 > 0:34:02Oh, right.

0:34:02 > 0:34:05BANGING AND SHUFFLING

0:34:05 > 0:34:08Blimey, it's like Piccadilly Circus in here tonight.

0:34:08 > 0:34:10BANGING CONTINUES

0:34:10 > 0:34:11Innit, Pam?

0:34:14 > 0:34:17- Pam?- I can't hear you, Michael. I'm not speaking to you.

0:34:17 > 0:34:20Come on, Pam, it's Christmas.

0:34:22 > 0:34:24I'm sorry I didn't tell you, all right?

0:34:24 > 0:34:27It just seemed best to wait and see if he got the job.

0:34:33 > 0:34:35Camilla...

0:34:37 > 0:34:40I need you, Camilla.

0:34:40 > 0:34:43I want you.

0:34:43 > 0:34:47Oh, Charles. Will I ever be your queen?

0:34:47 > 0:34:50Yes, you will, right? So long as you stop this sulking, OK?

0:34:50 > 0:34:55We've got guests, and you know and I know that he's doing the right thing.

0:34:55 > 0:34:57He's not going to Mars, Pam.

0:34:57 > 0:35:01- It's only down the road and we're all gonna miss him.- I know.

0:35:01 > 0:35:05So let's try and make this the best Christmas yet, eh?

0:35:05 > 0:35:06OK?

0:35:06 > 0:35:10- OK.- Right.

0:35:18 > 0:35:21Prepare to be knighted with my special sword.

0:35:21 > 0:35:23Oh, yes, Your Highness.

0:35:32 > 0:35:34Merry Christmas, everyone!

0:35:34 > 0:35:37Or as we say in Wales, nadolig llawen pawb.

0:35:37 > 0:35:40- What does that mean? - Merry Christmas, everyone.

0:35:40 > 0:35:42Oh, lovely. What is it again?

0:35:42 > 0:35:44- Nadolig llawen.- Nadorig claren.

0:35:44 > 0:35:45Funny that, cos I use Clarins.

0:35:45 > 0:35:47Happy Christmas, everyone.

0:35:47 > 0:35:51There he is. Happy Christmas, my little prince.

0:35:51 > 0:35:53- Do you want a Bucks Fizz? - Yeah, go on.

0:35:57 > 0:35:59- I'm sorry about last night. - It's all right.

0:35:59 > 0:36:02No, I shouldn't have reacted like that.

0:36:02 > 0:36:05- You're doing what's best for you and Stacey.- Thanks, Mum.

0:36:05 > 0:36:07I will miss you though.

0:36:07 > 0:36:09Come here.

0:36:09 > 0:36:11Happy Christmas.

0:36:11 > 0:36:13Where is Stacey. She not up yet?

0:36:13 > 0:36:17- No, she's having a shower. - I thought Nessa was having a shower.

0:36:17 > 0:36:21I tell you, that's one thing I'll miss is this shower. It's so lush.

0:36:21 > 0:36:24Yeah, you said.

0:36:24 > 0:36:28- You never shower, do you, Ness? - I know. I physically can't do it.

0:36:28 > 0:36:32And I won't lie to you, it's gonna be a problem for me, moving in that caravan with Dave.

0:36:32 > 0:36:35- He's not got a tub. - How will you manage?

0:36:35 > 0:36:39I'll have a personal wash twice a day. With a flannel.

0:36:39 > 0:36:43Oh, thanks, Ness. Are you OK about moving in with him?

0:36:43 > 0:36:45Yeah. He's good as gold, he is.

0:36:45 > 0:36:47He can't do enough for me, or Neil.

0:36:47 > 0:36:51NEIL CRIES

0:36:51 > 0:36:55Oh, Neil. I'm in the bath.

0:36:55 > 0:36:58I'll get Dave. You remember Dave?

0:36:58 > 0:37:00Dave Coaches.

0:37:00 > 0:37:02With the moustache?

0:37:02 > 0:37:05Yeah, that's him, babes.

0:37:05 > 0:37:07Oh, Dave!

0:37:08 > 0:37:12Dave! Help me out, Stace.

0:37:12 > 0:37:15- BOTH:- Dave!- What?

0:37:15 > 0:37:18Neil's crying. Give him a hand, will you?

0:37:18 > 0:37:22- Be there now.- He's on his way.

0:37:25 > 0:37:31- Oh, Stace. Will you do my back? - Yeah.- The razor's by the sink.

0:37:32 > 0:37:34Mick! Michael!

0:37:34 > 0:37:36Noel's given the little boy a bike.

0:37:36 > 0:37:41Cos his sister was being bullied cos she's in a wheelchair and he stuck up for her.

0:37:41 > 0:37:43I've gone. I've actually gone.

0:37:43 > 0:37:46Every year he gets me.

0:37:46 > 0:37:49Oh, my Christ! What on earth?!

0:37:49 > 0:37:51Edna...

0:37:51 > 0:37:53- Are you all right? - Don't touch her, Gwen.

0:37:53 > 0:37:55- Stay well back. - But she's only a...- No.

0:37:55 > 0:37:57You don't know what state she's in.

0:37:57 > 0:38:00She's bitten Dawn before now.

0:38:02 > 0:38:04Mick! Michael!

0:38:04 > 0:38:06Can you come in here, please?

0:38:06 > 0:38:09What's going on? Edna!

0:38:09 > 0:38:13- How did she get there?- She just popped up from behind the bar.

0:38:13 > 0:38:15She's been here all night, bless her.

0:38:15 > 0:38:17Blimey. We'll have to get her home.

0:38:17 > 0:38:23Right, everyone, could we please stop talking about her as though she's not in the room?

0:38:23 > 0:38:27- Mick, what's Dawn and Pete's surname? - Sutcliffe.

0:38:27 > 0:38:29Right.

0:38:30 > 0:38:32Mrs Sutcliffe.

0:38:32 > 0:38:34Hello. I'm Bryn.

0:38:34 > 0:38:39It's Christmas 2008. Gordon Brown is the Prime Minister.

0:38:39 > 0:38:42- Bryn, she's just woken up. She's not been in a coma.- What we gonna do?

0:38:42 > 0:38:45Well, someone's gonna have to take her back. I can't do it.

0:38:45 > 0:38:48I can't leave the turkey.

0:38:48 > 0:38:51All right. Well, I'll take her then.

0:38:51 > 0:38:54- Should I come with you? - No, it's all right. It's not far.

0:38:55 > 0:38:57That's it. Watch yourself.

0:38:57 > 0:38:59Come on. That's it.

0:39:01 > 0:39:05- Your Pete'll be worried sick.- All right, Edna. Where'd you spring from?

0:39:05 > 0:39:10She's been behind the bloody bar all night, hasn't she? There you go.

0:39:10 > 0:39:15# ..But the fire is so delightful Since we've no place to go... # Oh.

0:39:15 > 0:39:17Where to you going?

0:39:17 > 0:39:20Gonna take him round the block. See if I can get him off before lunch.

0:39:20 > 0:39:22- Cracking.- You coming?- No.

0:39:22 > 0:39:25Dave's taking you a walk.

0:39:25 > 0:39:29I explained to you what a walk was, didn't I? That's right.

0:39:29 > 0:39:31Hiya! Happy Christmas, Dave.

0:39:31 > 0:39:34Happy Christmas, Stace.

0:39:34 > 0:39:37- Oh.- Oh.- Merry Christmas.

0:39:37 > 0:39:39Merry Christmas, Dave.

0:39:45 > 0:39:48Mick, do you need a hand with anything?

0:39:48 > 0:39:50No, no, all under control.

0:39:50 > 0:39:52OK, well, I'm gonna put all the presents out now -

0:39:52 > 0:39:54into piles. So where are all yours?

0:39:54 > 0:39:57I don't know, darlin'. Happy Christmas, Ness.

0:39:57 > 0:39:59Ask Pam when she comes back.

0:39:59 > 0:40:02She's taken Edna home. She fell asleep behind the bar.

0:40:02 > 0:40:04- Oh, my God. - You look beautiful in that, babe.

0:40:04 > 0:40:06Aww, thanks. It's my Christmas dress.

0:40:06 > 0:40:08Sure I can't do anything to help?

0:40:08 > 0:40:10No, no, all under control.

0:40:10 > 0:40:14Well, that was a turn up for the books. Poor old Edna!

0:40:14 > 0:40:16I thought you handled her really well, Bryn.

0:40:16 > 0:40:18I know!

0:40:18 > 0:40:23I don't know what came over me. I think I was inspired by Noel.

0:40:23 > 0:40:27I looked at her and I thought, what would Noel do?

0:40:27 > 0:40:32- And that is why, for me, Noel Edmonds is one of the country's finest talents.- Yeah, he is.

0:40:32 > 0:40:35- Deal Or No Deal. Have you seen it, Mick?- Yeah, a couple.

0:40:35 > 0:40:40It's just a load of people trying to guess what's in a box, in't it? Hand us those tongs, will you, mate.

0:40:40 > 0:40:45No, it's not. There's a lot more to it that that. Have you seen it, Jase?

0:40:45 > 0:40:48I've not seen this one but there's a version in Spain.

0:40:48 > 0:40:51- It's called Un Trato O No Trato. - What does that mean?

0:40:51 > 0:40:52Deal Or No Deal.

0:40:52 > 0:40:55Deal Or No Deal, that's what we call it. You're right, Mick.

0:40:55 > 0:40:59the show without Noel, would be utter horse shit!

0:40:59 > 0:41:02But with him in the equation, it's a whole different thing.

0:41:02 > 0:41:07I think they should call it Deal Or Noel's Deal!

0:41:07 > 0:41:12Gwen! Deal Or Noel's Deal!

0:41:12 > 0:41:14Mick. Is there anything I can do to help?

0:41:14 > 0:41:16No, no. All under control.

0:41:16 > 0:41:19It's all right, Gwen. I'll put them in the dishwasher.

0:41:19 > 0:41:22- No, no, I've got it. - You've been a while, Ness.

0:41:22 > 0:41:24I know. I was havin' my cigar.

0:41:24 > 0:41:27- Cigar?- Yes. She always has one on Christmas.

0:41:27 > 0:41:31Cuban. I smokes a Cuban at Christmas and a pipe at Easter.

0:41:31 > 0:41:33Always has, always will. DOORBELL RINGS

0:41:33 > 0:41:35I'll get it.

0:41:38 > 0:41:42All right? Merry Christmas.

0:41:42 > 0:41:44Yeah. Happy Christmas.

0:41:45 > 0:41:49- Where's Neil? - Dave's taken him a walk.- What?

0:41:49 > 0:41:54- But I was hoping...- Look, we've been through this before, I can't be running stuff by you all the time.

0:41:54 > 0:41:59I can't be ringing you every time he needs his nappy changed or Dave takes him down the pub.

0:41:59 > 0:42:01Down the pub?

0:42:01 > 0:42:03Dave takes him down the pub?!

0:42:03 > 0:42:07- Yeah.- I wanted to be the first person to take him down the pub!

0:42:07 > 0:42:10Happy Christmas, Smithy, darlin.

0:42:10 > 0:42:14Happy Christmas, Pamela, glad tidings to you and your kin, obviously.

0:42:14 > 0:42:16How's everything with Edna?

0:42:16 > 0:42:18- Yeah, what's occurrin'?- She's fine.

0:42:18 > 0:42:21They didn't know she was gone, thought she was still asleep!

0:42:21 > 0:42:25They were half way through their dinner.

0:42:36 > 0:42:39- You all right?- Don't touch me. OK?

0:42:42 > 0:42:44I've thought it through

0:42:44 > 0:42:47and I am willing to accept it but there are some conditions.

0:42:48 > 0:42:52- Go on.- Firstly, you come back every other weekend, without fail.- Right.

0:42:52 > 0:42:57- Secondly, you guarantee at least one night out every month with all the boys.- We don't even do that now!

0:42:57 > 0:43:02Thirdly, if you promise it'll be no more than six months, you've got a deal.

0:43:02 > 0:43:05Any longer than that, I am gonna start looking for a new best friend.

0:43:05 > 0:43:09- Who?!- I don't know. Likely candidates are Deano or Budgie.

0:43:09 > 0:43:12What about Fingers?

0:43:12 > 0:43:14Hmm, that's a thought.

0:43:14 > 0:43:17I'll stick him on the bench with Chinese Alan.

0:43:17 > 0:43:18Merry Christmas, mate.

0:43:19 > 0:43:20Yeah, whatever.

0:43:20 > 0:43:22Mick, where's this turkey?

0:43:22 > 0:43:24I'm absolutely fam-ISHed!

0:43:26 > 0:43:30HUM OF CONVERSATION

0:43:30 > 0:43:32I'm sorry we're not in the dining room.

0:43:32 > 0:43:34There wasn't enough room with all of us.

0:43:34 > 0:43:35We'd never get you all in our house.

0:43:35 > 0:43:38To tell you the truth, we're thinking about an extension.

0:43:38 > 0:43:39- Is he all right?- Everything OK?

0:43:39 > 0:43:42Yeah. I had to read to him to get him off.

0:43:42 > 0:43:44Oh, a little fairy story?

0:43:44 > 0:43:48No. Russell Brand's My Booky Wook. He's loving every word.

0:43:48 > 0:43:51- Did we get a mention in the end?- No.

0:43:51 > 0:43:53Aw, that's a shame, I'm quite disappointed, are you?

0:43:53 > 0:43:55Don't be, Stace.

0:43:55 > 0:43:57We had a cracking night, Pam, all three of us.

0:43:59 > 0:44:02- Mick, this turkey is immense.- I know.

0:44:02 > 0:44:05It's got what I call the wow factor.

0:44:05 > 0:44:07Dad, it's definitely the best one yet.

0:44:07 > 0:44:10My God, it doesn't even taste like turkey. It's like salmon.

0:44:10 > 0:44:11Out of this world!

0:44:11 > 0:44:13- Fair play, Mick! - It's not just the turkey.

0:44:13 > 0:44:16These carrots, Michael, are an Arc de Triumph.

0:44:16 > 0:44:18Sure? Everybody happy?

0:44:18 > 0:44:19CHEERS OF APPROVAL

0:44:20 > 0:44:23So Smithy, how come you're not eating with your family today?

0:44:23 > 0:44:26I already did. We sit down about eleven, half eleven.

0:44:26 > 0:44:29- What, a full turkey dinner? - Yeah, the whole shebang.

0:44:29 > 0:44:31It's just I got to get around here, ain't I?

0:44:31 > 0:44:33I used to have three when I was with Lucy.

0:44:33 > 0:44:37I'd eat at home, then come here, get to Lucy's for about four, then

0:44:37 > 0:44:39down the Crown, get on it, then back here for about ten.

0:44:39 > 0:44:41And then just stay here till New Year's Day.

0:44:41 > 0:44:43Oh, that's nice!

0:44:43 > 0:44:49Right. Has nobody actually noticed that I am eating meat?

0:44:49 > 0:44:52I'm a vegetarian, remember?

0:44:52 > 0:44:54- Give it a rest, Pam!- What?

0:44:54 > 0:44:57Oh, Mum, come on. Everyone knows you weren't really a vegetarian.

0:44:57 > 0:44:59Really?

0:44:59 > 0:45:02Well, you did a good job of hiding it!

0:45:02 > 0:45:03Yeah, better job than you did.

0:45:03 > 0:45:05LAUGHTER

0:45:05 > 0:45:10Well, I didn't know. I've bought you a vegetarian cook book for Christmas.

0:45:10 > 0:45:13You got mugged off, Gwen.

0:45:13 > 0:45:15Right, right. Here's a good one.

0:45:15 > 0:45:20What is yellow and dangerous?

0:45:20 > 0:45:24- Shark infested custard. - Infested custard! Yes, yes!

0:45:27 > 0:45:30Right, I've put all your presents out, you've got your own places.

0:45:30 > 0:45:32Right, Mick, you're there.

0:45:32 > 0:45:37Pam, come on Pam, you're next to him. Mum, Gav, you're next to Mum.

0:45:37 > 0:45:39Then Smithy, you're on the corner.

0:45:39 > 0:45:42Uncle Bryn, Dave, then Jason.

0:45:42 > 0:45:44Mine are over there so I'll just be floating. OK.

0:45:44 > 0:45:48I'm gonna open one first because, well, cos I just want to.

0:45:48 > 0:45:50Unless you think this makes me look spoilt.

0:45:50 > 0:45:53No... Go on.

0:45:54 > 0:45:59Smith, I'm not being funny but probably best if you leave him for now.

0:45:59 > 0:46:02It's just I've not had much time with him today, that's all.

0:46:02 > 0:46:05He's got a routine, and if you get him excited,

0:46:05 > 0:46:08it's us that'll get it in the neck when he won't go down tonight.

0:46:08 > 0:46:10OK.

0:46:10 > 0:46:12Ah, thanks babe.

0:46:16 > 0:46:20It's from Gav, but it's not my main present.

0:46:20 > 0:46:25There isn't any main present, cos we decided, it's just lots of little ones.

0:46:25 > 0:46:29Yeah, but it's not my main little one. Right, Mum, you're next.

0:46:29 > 0:46:33OK. Well, this is from Doris.

0:46:35 > 0:46:37And it's talc.

0:46:37 > 0:46:41What is this thing with talc and old people? I mean, do you actually use it?

0:46:41 > 0:46:43I don't, Pam, but it's nice to have some in the cupboard.

0:46:43 > 0:46:45Uncle Bryn?

0:46:47 > 0:46:54This is from Nessa, David and Neil!

0:46:54 > 0:46:58Actually Bryn, we've got you all the same, so you may as well open them together.

0:47:06 > 0:47:09It's the Snickers from a box of Celebrations.

0:47:09 > 0:47:11Oh, you got the Snickers did you, Gav?

0:47:11 > 0:47:12Crackin. Stace, what you get?

0:47:12 > 0:47:13Milky Way.

0:47:13 > 0:47:16- I've got a Milky Way.- Mars.

0:47:16 > 0:47:18- Gwen?- Bounty.

0:47:20 > 0:47:23You've drawn the short straw there, I'm not gonna lie to you.

0:47:23 > 0:47:25- I'll see if I got some more on the bus.- Jase?

0:47:25 > 0:47:28- Malteser.- Oh, that's the big one.

0:47:28 > 0:47:30That's the best one, that is.

0:47:30 > 0:47:31That or the Galaxy truffle!

0:47:31 > 0:47:32I got the Galaxy truffle!

0:47:32 > 0:47:35I got the Galaxy truffle!

0:47:35 > 0:47:38- Smith? - Just the regular Galaxy one. Cheers.

0:47:38 > 0:47:41Thanks, Ness. Thanks, David.

0:47:41 > 0:47:43Just a little something from the three of us.

0:47:43 > 0:47:46And this is from me.

0:47:46 > 0:47:48Aw, thanks babe.

0:47:52 > 0:47:55- Babe! That's amazing!- What is it?

0:47:55 > 0:47:58It's a signed photo of Michael Dawson.

0:47:58 > 0:48:00He's my favourite Tottenham player. Dawsy.

0:48:04 > 0:48:07Right, I don't know if it's my go next,

0:48:07 > 0:48:09I just really want to give him his present.

0:48:09 > 0:48:12- So...if you wanna open it.- OK.

0:48:24 > 0:48:26- And look at the back.- Wey!

0:48:29 > 0:48:33He's a lucky boy. I've already got him a Cardiff City one, haven't I?

0:48:33 > 0:48:37- What?- Yeah, but he can support two teams, can't he?- No he can't.

0:48:37 > 0:48:40Why...why d'you get him that top?

0:48:40 > 0:48:43- Well, cos he's a Cardiff boy, isn't he?- Well, Barry.

0:48:43 > 0:48:45Yeah, well,

0:48:45 > 0:48:47they're his closest team

0:48:47 > 0:48:50and they're my team, so...

0:48:56 > 0:48:59Right, well I wanna give Mick his present.

0:48:59 > 0:49:01Stace, would you help me bring it in?

0:49:01 > 0:49:03- OK.- Bring it in? Blimey, what you got me?

0:49:17 > 0:49:19What time's the EastEnders special?

0:49:19 > 0:49:22I don't know, we stopped watching it, didn't we, Bryn?

0:49:22 > 0:49:24We did. I used to love it!

0:49:24 > 0:49:28But when they brought Dirty Den back that was the final straw for me.

0:49:28 > 0:49:30I mean no-one could've survived that canal.

0:49:30 > 0:49:34Specially with a bullet wound. They were taking the mick, Mick.

0:49:34 > 0:49:37- I think it went downhill when Pete died.- Pete Beale?

0:49:37 > 0:49:40- Yeah.- And Mark. With the Aids.

0:49:40 > 0:49:41What about Cath, is she dead?

0:49:41 > 0:49:44She died on Strictly.

0:49:44 > 0:49:46Out first, wasn't she?

0:49:47 > 0:49:50Actually she's not dead, Smithy.

0:49:50 > 0:49:52She's living in South Africa

0:49:52 > 0:49:55where she went to get over the rape by...um...

0:49:55 > 0:49:56What was his name?

0:49:57 > 0:49:58Wilmott Brown.

0:49:58 > 0:50:00That's the fella.

0:50:00 > 0:50:01I tell you who I miss.

0:50:01 > 0:50:03Mike Reid. Frank Butcher.

0:50:03 > 0:50:07Pat, Pat, Pat...

0:50:07 > 0:50:08I'M TRYING TO SORT IT OUT, PAT.

0:50:11 > 0:50:12That's Ted Rogers!

0:50:14 > 0:50:16You're thinking of Dusty Bin.

0:50:16 > 0:50:19What you got there, Pat?

0:50:19 > 0:50:21Pat, Pat, Pat, Pat, Pat!

0:50:22 > 0:50:25Bloody hell. What is it?

0:50:28 > 0:50:30- A keyboard?- Yes!

0:50:30 > 0:50:32Pam, that's fantastic!

0:50:32 > 0:50:34- Do you play, Mick? - You know, not really.

0:50:34 > 0:50:36Oh, he does! Don't listen to him!

0:50:36 > 0:50:40But not for years, Pam. Ah, come here!

0:50:41 > 0:50:43- You like it?- I love it.

0:50:43 > 0:50:45You never lose it, Mick.

0:50:45 > 0:50:47I hadn't picked up a trumpet in 17 years.

0:50:47 > 0:50:51Jools Holland and the Big Band were in town one night, they fancied a jam.

0:50:51 > 0:50:54Before I know it I'm up there playing Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy.

0:50:54 > 0:50:55That was a crackin' night.

0:50:55 > 0:50:56Play something now, Dad!

0:50:56 > 0:50:59I can't, I've got to set it all up.

0:50:59 > 0:51:01Do you know Two Become One by the Spice Girls.

0:51:01 > 0:51:05Look, just give me a minute to work it all out, all right? Who's the next present?

0:51:05 > 0:51:10Right, well I got something I wanna give to Nessa.

0:51:10 > 0:51:11I thought we weren't doing presents.

0:51:11 > 0:51:14Yeah, well, I just thought I'd get you something.

0:51:19 > 0:51:21Cracking. Cheers, Dave.

0:51:21 > 0:51:22Look inside.

0:51:28 > 0:51:31Ness. I'm in love with you, I am.

0:51:31 > 0:51:34And I want you to be my wife.

0:51:40 > 0:51:43So whaddya say, Sugar Tits?

0:51:45 > 0:51:48Yeah. Fair do's. I will.

0:51:48 > 0:51:50Cracking.

0:51:53 > 0:51:58Oh my God, Ness! Congratulations.

0:52:10 > 0:52:11Oh, leave those, Gwen!

0:52:11 > 0:52:13That's why we've got a dishwasher.

0:52:13 > 0:52:16- It's called Mick.- It's all right Pam, once it's done, it's done!

0:52:18 > 0:52:20I tell you what, Gwen.

0:52:20 > 0:52:24That turkey has taken over my life the last couple of days.

0:52:24 > 0:52:26We've been soaking it, basting it, and then resting it.

0:52:26 > 0:52:29And them leftovers, we'll be chowdering them.

0:52:29 > 0:52:32It's a wonder he hasn't had the bloody thing in bed with us!

0:52:32 > 0:52:34Well, it's the best turkey we've ever tasted.

0:52:34 > 0:52:36- Isn't that right, Jase? - I should say so.

0:52:36 > 0:52:39But then again, Dad used to make us have pork chops on Christmas,

0:52:39 > 0:52:41so there's not much competition.

0:52:41 > 0:52:44I tell you what I'm partial to, turkey omelette.

0:52:44 > 0:52:48- Oh, right. Where's Bryn? Is he all right?- Yeah.

0:52:48 > 0:52:50He's having a little nap, he is.

0:52:50 > 0:52:53It's been a long day for him, what with all the presents an' that.

0:52:53 > 0:52:54Oh, he loved yours, didn't he?

0:52:54 > 0:52:58- What d'you get him again? - Sex And The City. DVD of the film.

0:52:58 > 0:53:03Thing is, I knew he'd like it cos when it was out in the cinema, he watched it four times.

0:53:03 > 0:53:04- Twice in one day.- Really?

0:53:04 > 0:53:07He loves the character Big, he does. And all the hats.

0:53:07 > 0:53:11The DVD extras on this are out of this world.

0:53:11 > 0:53:13Bryn, we thought you were having a snooze.

0:53:13 > 0:53:18I was, but you've got a DVD player in that room and I couldn't resist.

0:53:18 > 0:53:22I tell you what, they had a ball making this film.

0:53:22 > 0:53:24Kim Cattrell is an absolute hoot.

0:53:24 > 0:53:25And she's over 50, Pam.

0:53:25 > 0:53:29Oh, my god, this is so immense. You're getting married, Ness!

0:53:29 > 0:53:31- To Dave Coaches!- I know.

0:53:31 > 0:53:34- Is Coaches his surname? Will you be Nessa Coaches?- No.

0:53:34 > 0:53:38- Anyone seen Smithy?- Yeah, he's out the back having a fag.

0:53:38 > 0:53:40Where are you gonna do it? Where are you gonna get married?

0:53:40 > 0:53:42I should imagine in the mosque.

0:53:42 > 0:53:46Right, who's up for some board games?

0:53:46 > 0:53:47- Oh, yeah!- Yeah!

0:53:52 > 0:53:54You all right, mate?

0:53:54 > 0:53:56Yeah.

0:53:56 > 0:53:59You sure?

0:53:59 > 0:54:02Yeah. It's just been a bit of a shit Christmas, that's all.

0:54:03 > 0:54:08You're moving down there, my son's getting a new dad, they're all happy families.

0:54:10 > 0:54:13I just don't know what I'm doing with myself.

0:54:13 > 0:54:15I know.

0:54:20 > 0:54:21Do you have to go?

0:54:24 > 0:54:26I mean, do you WANT to?

0:54:26 > 0:54:28Or are you just doing it for Stacey?

0:54:28 > 0:54:31I'm doing it for my marriage,

0:54:31 > 0:54:33for my wife.

0:54:33 > 0:54:35I have to put that first, Smith.

0:54:38 > 0:54:40But it just feels like it's all changed so quickly.

0:54:40 > 0:54:42And it's still changing.

0:54:44 > 0:54:46I just feel a bit on my own, really.

0:54:46 > 0:54:49- Oh, mate...- I'll be all right.

0:54:49 > 0:54:50I wanna play Battleships.

0:54:50 > 0:54:52- D'you fancy a game? - Yeah, I'll be in now.

0:54:59 > 0:55:04Look, I don't want you thinking I'm going down there and everything's fine, cos I'm terrified.

0:55:06 > 0:55:10Not because I'm leaving Mum and Dad or even that I'm moving to a new place.

0:55:12 > 0:55:14I'm terrified cos I won't have you around.

0:55:16 > 0:55:18I know.

0:55:27 > 0:55:28Coming in?

0:55:28 > 0:55:30In a bit.

0:55:52 > 0:55:54Does he have a moustache?

0:55:55 > 0:55:57No.

0:56:02 > 0:56:05Does she have glasses?

0:56:05 > 0:56:08No.

0:56:09 > 0:56:13- Is he bald?- Yes.

0:56:13 > 0:56:15Ha, ha, ha!

0:56:15 > 0:56:17I've got a hunch I know who he is, Jase!

0:56:18 > 0:56:21Mum, I can't stop eating. Are you doing any ham or anything?

0:56:21 > 0:56:24Yeah, I'll do something in a minute if anyone wants it.

0:56:24 > 0:56:26Back three.

0:56:26 > 0:56:28- Yes!- Nice one, Mum.

0:56:28 > 0:56:32- D14.- Hit.- D15.

0:56:32 > 0:56:33Hit.

0:56:33 > 0:56:36- Y11.- Hit! Oh, this is ridiculous.

0:56:36 > 0:56:39You're hitting my boats on every go. Have you looked at my board?

0:56:39 > 0:56:41No. I looked in your eyes.

0:56:41 > 0:56:43I can read you like a book, Stace.

0:56:43 > 0:56:45- E12.- Aw, Ness.

0:56:45 > 0:56:47Here we go!

0:56:47 > 0:56:49Oh. Let's sing something. Let's have a sing-song!

0:56:49 > 0:56:54Well, hang on, I'm trying to think of something I know all the way through.

0:56:55 > 0:56:57What about this one?

0:56:57 > 0:57:01Oh, I love this one!

0:57:01 > 0:57:04- I know you do.- Oh, Gwen.

0:57:04 > 0:57:06You take Neil, the baby, I'm going for a smoke.

0:57:06 > 0:57:12# Have yourself a merry little Christmas

0:57:12 > 0:57:17# Let your heart be light

0:57:17 > 0:57:23# From now on our troubles will be out of sight... #

0:57:31 > 0:57:32- Alright?- Yeah.

0:57:33 > 0:57:35You?

0:57:35 > 0:57:36Yeah.

0:57:42 > 0:57:45- It's been a good day, hasn't... - Don't marry him.

0:57:45 > 0:57:46What?

0:57:46 > 0:57:48Don't marry him.

0:57:48 > 0:57:52I'm not saying marry me, I don't think that's what I'm saying,

0:57:52 > 0:57:55I'm just saying don't marry him.

0:57:56 > 0:58:01I don't think that you should marry him.

0:58:08 > 0:58:09I'm going back in.

0:58:20 > 0:58:25# Faithful friends who are dear to us

0:58:25 > 0:58:30# Gather near to us once more... #

0:58:32 > 0:58:34I think you're gonna like living in Barry.

0:58:34 > 0:58:35I know.

0:58:35 > 0:58:37You sounded like Nessa then.

0:58:37 > 0:58:41IN WELSH ACCENT: I've been practising the accent, if truth be told.

0:58:46 > 0:58:53# Hang a shining star upon the highest bow

0:58:56 > 0:59:00# And have yourself

0:59:00 > 0:59:07# A merry little Christmas now. #

0:59:11 > 0:59:12CHEERING

0:59:12 > 0:59:14Brilliant.

0:59:14 > 0:59:16Happy Christmas, darling.

0:59:18 > 0:59:22# Tell me tomorrow, I'll wait by the window for you

0:59:28 > 0:59:31# I'll wait by the big house for you

0:59:35 > 0:59:40# I'll wait by the squeezebox for you

0:59:44 > 0:59:47# I'll wait by your dresses for you... #

0:59:47 > 0:59:49Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd