0:00:02 > 0:00:05- I've slept for nearly 11 hours. - You wanna get out the house.
0:00:05 > 0:00:09- Why don't you come fencing with me tomorrow?- We're going Barry.
0:00:09 > 0:00:10Oh God, the scan.
0:00:10 > 0:00:14- Vanessa Jenkins. - Is that your second name?- Yes.
0:00:14 > 0:00:17How ridiculous, she's having my child and I don't know her surname.
0:00:17 > 0:00:21That is just one big massive mistake.
0:00:21 > 0:00:23It makes it all seem real now, doesn't it?
0:00:23 > 0:00:25BOTH: Yes.
0:00:26 > 0:00:30TV: And punch it out and do it again.
0:00:30 > 0:00:32SHE GROANS
0:00:32 > 0:00:35- PHONE RINGS - TV: ..and do it again.
0:00:36 > 0:00:38- Hiya!- How you getting on?
0:00:38 > 0:00:42- I'm good. I'm just doing my video.- Which one? - Judith Chalmers boxercise.
0:00:42 > 0:00:44Right. Any news on that job?
0:00:44 > 0:00:49- No, I've still not heard nothing. I rang about two this morning but they've already gone.- Oh, babe.
0:00:49 > 0:00:54- But there's something going at the zoo.- The zoo?- Yeah! Can you imagine?
0:00:54 > 0:00:56That'd be immense. What we doing tonight?
0:00:56 > 0:00:59- Shall we go to the pictures? - Nah, Dad's doing his lamb.
0:00:59 > 0:01:03- Oh, lush.- So, we'll just have a quiet night in, eh? - Yeah. That'll be nice.
0:01:08 > 0:01:10Mick's gonna be on the telly, Stacey!
0:01:10 > 0:01:16- Mick's gonna be on the telly!- What? - Mick! He just phoned. He's gonna be on the telly, can you believe it?
0:01:16 > 0:01:19- Are you serious? - Yeah, he's gonna be on tonight!
0:01:19 > 0:01:23- I've gotta ring Dawn. - I gotta ring Gav!
0:01:23 > 0:01:27I know! He's gonna be on the telly! He just rang me. Hang on.
0:01:28 > 0:01:32- Smithy?- Is your old man gonna be on the telly?
0:01:32 > 0:01:38Yeah, I just got a text from Gary and Simon. Unbelievable! Six o'clock, yeah? I'll be there!
0:01:38 > 0:01:39Well, I never.
0:01:39 > 0:01:42OK! Six o'clock.
0:01:42 > 0:01:44Yes, we'll be watching.
0:01:44 > 0:01:46Mick is going to be on the telly.
0:01:46 > 0:01:49No, I was just telling Nessa.
0:01:49 > 0:01:51OK, bye.
0:01:51 > 0:01:53You are never gonna believe this!
0:01:53 > 0:01:56- Mick's gonna be on the telly.- Yes!
0:01:56 > 0:02:00Oh, my God! I brought some bubbly. Can you believe it?
0:02:00 > 0:02:02I know! Come in, come in!
0:02:02 > 0:02:04God, It's all over the radio.
0:02:04 > 0:02:06You are joking me!
0:02:06 > 0:02:10No! And they said he was 53. I said to Pete, "They got that bit wrong for starters!"
0:02:10 > 0:02:12Where is Pete? Is he coming over?
0:02:12 > 0:02:15Oh, don't talk to me about that dwarf. Hiya, Stace.
0:02:15 > 0:02:17- Hiya!- Fancy a drop of this?
0:02:17 > 0:02:20- Ooh, go on then.- I just heard Dad's name on the radio.
0:02:20 > 0:02:22I know, Dawn said. He's the talk of the town!
0:02:22 > 0:02:27- Hiya! It's so exciting, isn't it? - I know, it's nuts. - Everyone's watching in Barry!
0:02:27 > 0:02:29Well, this is peachy.
0:02:29 > 0:02:30This is the best day of my life.
0:02:30 > 0:02:32Mick on the telly.
0:02:32 > 0:02:36- There you are, love. Just cheese. Are you sure that's all right? - Crystal.
0:02:38 > 0:02:41I wonder how he's feeling now?
0:02:41 > 0:02:44Well, it'll be a mixture of nerves and excitement I should imagine.
0:02:44 > 0:02:46I remember when I was on TV.
0:02:46 > 0:02:51I mean, it was different - it wasn't actually me, it was a photo-fit, but the likeness was uncanny.
0:02:51 > 0:02:53I found it terrifying.
0:02:53 > 0:02:55They got you spot on.
0:02:55 > 0:02:57It was so good I had to shave my head.
0:03:04 > 0:03:10Here he is! And look at all the paparazzi. Come on, superstar!
0:03:10 > 0:03:13- Give it a rest, will you? - Stand back, stand back!
0:03:13 > 0:03:16Security's here! Come on, there's nothing to see!
0:03:16 > 0:03:19- Not you as well. I wish I'd never mentioned it.- Dawn!
0:03:19 > 0:03:22- Pete's pretending to be Mick's security guard!- Tell him to grow up.
0:03:22 > 0:03:26They said you was 53 on the radio, I said to Dawn, "They got that wrong for starters!"
0:03:28 > 0:03:30Hey!
0:03:30 > 0:03:33Was that him? The movie star?
0:03:33 > 0:03:37Yeah, but he's just a regular guy, Betty. He's just like the rest of us.
0:03:37 > 0:03:39Well, we're taping it, aren't we?
0:03:39 > 0:03:42Ah, that's the spirit.
0:03:42 > 0:03:45When I say taping, I mean we got one of them boxes, you know, all remote.
0:03:45 > 0:03:48Oh, yeah! We've got one of them, they're incredible.
0:03:48 > 0:03:51And you can pause it you know and everything.
0:03:51 > 0:03:54If you want to make a cup of tea. That's right...
0:03:54 > 0:03:56How's the house hunting coming along, Gav?
0:03:56 > 0:04:02- We haven't really started yet.- We're looking at our first place tomorrow. I can't wait. I am so excited.
0:04:02 > 0:04:04I remember my first place.
0:04:04 > 0:04:08It wasn't much, nothing special, but it was mine.
0:04:08 > 0:04:15No-one else telling me what I could and couldn't do, grinding me down 24/7.
0:04:15 > 0:04:16Happy days.
0:04:22 > 0:04:25- How's the lamb, Pam? - Yeah, all in. There you go.
0:04:25 > 0:04:30- Wait till you taste my marinade. - - I'll be having a lentil bake. - This is good stuff.
0:04:30 > 0:04:36- Yeah. Courtesy of your lady wife, thank you very much. - What?
0:04:36 > 0:04:40- You bought this?- Yes. - So there's no money for me to play golf on Sunday,
0:04:40 > 0:04:43but there's money for champagne?
0:04:43 > 0:04:45- Don't embarrass me, Pete. - You're unbelievable.
0:04:45 > 0:04:48You're unbelievable, you vicious little pig.
0:04:49 > 0:04:50It's on! Come on!
0:04:50 > 0:04:53- Oh, my God.- I can't believe it.
0:04:53 > 0:04:56- TV:- The Six O'Clock News on BBC One with George Alagiah.
0:04:56 > 0:04:59Good evening and welcome to the Six O'Clock News.
0:04:59 > 0:05:03- It's starting, Gwen. - I'll be there now!
0:05:03 > 0:05:07The Health Department announces more cuts on the way.
0:05:07 > 0:05:10A murderer strikes again in Essex.
0:05:10 > 0:05:12A dismembered body is found in a Billericay car park.
0:05:12 > 0:05:14CHEERING
0:05:15 > 0:05:20- Cracking.- Tell you know what show I'd like to be on.
0:05:20 > 0:05:22Stars In Their Eyes.
0:05:22 > 0:05:25- Who'd you be? - Well, it changes on a daily basis.
0:05:25 > 0:05:27If I had to go right here, right now,
0:05:27 > 0:05:31David Bowie. Gwen? Stars In Their Eyes.
0:05:31 > 0:05:32Who'd you be?
0:05:32 > 0:05:35- Suzi Quatro.- Ness?
0:05:35 > 0:05:37Prince.
0:05:37 > 0:05:39Every time.
0:05:39 > 0:05:43Yes, I know! Yes, the dismembered body.
0:05:43 > 0:05:47That's Mick! Yeah, it's the third item on the programme.
0:05:47 > 0:05:50Yeah, all right then, bye.
0:05:50 > 0:05:52Where you going? It'll be on any second.
0:05:52 > 0:05:55- I know, I won't be long. - So was it chopped up?
0:05:55 > 0:06:00- Yeah, and it was charred, like it had been burnt.- Ooo!
0:06:02 > 0:06:06- You all right?- Yeah, I'm just having some chocolate.
0:06:06 > 0:06:11- We're eating in a bit. What's up? - I dunno really. I've gone down, if I'm honest.
0:06:11 > 0:06:13Ah, come here. Why you feeling down?
0:06:13 > 0:06:18I'm just a bit bored, you know? A bit useless.
0:06:18 > 0:06:22And your dad being on the telly and that, just reminds me that I've never done anything like that.
0:06:22 > 0:06:26- He found a dead body, babe. It's not an achievement.- I know.
0:06:26 > 0:06:29But I just feel like I'm getting under everyone's feet.
0:06:29 > 0:06:31You're all on at me to get a job, and...
0:06:31 > 0:06:35If I'm honest, I'm just a bit homesick.
0:06:35 > 0:06:39- Oh, come on. We can't have this all the time.- I knew you'd say that.
0:06:39 > 0:06:44- Nessa's coming up tomorrow. We're looking at houses.- Flats.- You've gotta be more positive.
0:06:44 > 0:06:48- There's no point talking about it. You don't understand. - Have I missed it?
0:06:48 > 0:06:51- No, it's next item up. - Quality. Where is he?
0:06:51 > 0:06:54Michael! Mick-lar! Pamel-ar!
0:06:54 > 0:06:56Smithster!
0:06:56 > 0:07:00- Dawn-lar! What a treat, take it high! Peter-loni on the back wing.- Smithy!
0:07:00 > 0:07:04Dream. That's all over the box! Been on the radio an' all, ain't ya?
0:07:04 > 0:07:08Rudi texted me, they said you was 53, Billy Bullshitter!
0:07:08 > 0:07:13- So how's everything with the baby? - Er, yeah good, I think. We went down for the, um...
0:07:13 > 0:07:15- Scan.- Yeah, and all good.
0:07:15 > 0:07:19- We got the, er...- Photograph. - I've got it somewhere. Where is it? It's in my...- Wallet?
0:07:19 > 0:07:21You got it.
0:07:21 > 0:07:23Here you are.
0:07:23 > 0:07:25That's the head.
0:07:25 > 0:07:28And that's a little arm there.
0:07:28 > 0:07:31Oh, sweet! Looks like you, Pete.
0:07:31 > 0:07:34Only taller!
0:07:34 > 0:07:38- Sssshhh! It's on! It's on! Gavin! Gavin!- Gav-lar.
0:07:39 > 0:07:41..is at the scene.
0:07:41 > 0:07:46I'm standing in the car park of a large engineering firm here in Billericay.
0:07:46 > 0:07:51At approximately 7.30 this morning, a dismembered body, as yet unidentified,
0:07:51 > 0:07:55was discovered by a Mr Michael Shipman, 53,
0:07:55 > 0:07:59who's one of the company directors and this is what he had to say.
0:07:59 > 0:08:02It's the last thing you expect to find when you come into work in the morning.
0:08:02 > 0:08:07Later I spoke to Police Detective Richard Shed.
0:08:07 > 0:08:12Detective, what can you tell me about the situation regarding the body and how it was found?
0:08:12 > 0:08:18- I'm afraid I can't disclose anything.- Detective, thank you very much. Back to you in the studio.
0:08:18 > 0:08:23- A study of obesity released today claims that many male... - Is that it?
0:08:27 > 0:08:28Is that IT?
0:08:28 > 0:08:31Was that it?
0:08:31 > 0:08:36- Well, I'm bitterly disappointed. - Crikey, Dad, it was hardly worth mentioning!
0:08:36 > 0:08:40- Don't switch it off, maybe he'll come back on.- I spoke to them for more than 15 minutes.
0:08:40 > 0:08:44- Saying my thoughts went out to her family and all sorts. - Oh, that was nice.
0:08:44 > 0:08:46They've made you look a right tit.
0:08:46 > 0:08:52I know. I know! What a joke. He says he talked to them for half an hour.
0:08:52 > 0:08:56He'll have spoken to them for at least 15 minutes, if not half an hour.
0:08:56 > 0:09:01- What makes you say that? - Well, when I was news producing for the BBC, that was the golden rule.
0:09:01 > 0:09:04You had to cover every base, leave no stone unturned.
0:09:04 > 0:09:07Kate Adie used to moan about it all the time.
0:09:07 > 0:09:13In the end, I had to say to her, "Oh, Kate Adie, you're the face, I'm the brains. Now get on with it."
0:09:13 > 0:09:15She was very difficult.
0:09:15 > 0:09:17- Horrible woman.- Selfish.
0:09:17 > 0:09:19Nah, go on, who's this?
0:09:19 > 0:09:24- "Well, you just don't expect it when you come into work in the morning!" - Yeah, all right, all right.
0:09:24 > 0:09:26Go on, Gav, you do it!
0:09:26 > 0:09:31"Well, you just don't expect it when you come into work in the morning!"
0:09:31 > 0:09:37- That looks lovely! What is that? - It's really easy. It's garlic, olive oil and rosemary
0:09:37 > 0:09:42- and I've bashed it all together in the pestle.- Now, is the pestle the bowl or is that the mortar?
0:09:42 > 0:09:46You know, Pete, I don't know. I've just always called it the pestle.
0:09:46 > 0:09:51- I'm gonna look that up. Wikipedia. - What I've done is massaged it, rubbed it over the joint.
0:09:51 > 0:09:56- And then let it stand marinading for an hour.- An hour?- An hour?- An hour. - That is brave.
0:09:56 > 0:09:57And it's not too overpowering?
0:09:57 > 0:10:00No, because none of it is penetrating the meat.
0:10:00 > 0:10:04It's just permeating through. And you wait till you taste the gravy!
0:10:04 > 0:10:09- Can I ask you a personal question? - Sure.
0:10:12 > 0:10:14Where did you get them oven gloves?
0:10:14 > 0:10:17I tell you why I'm asking. Dawn got me a pair last Christmas.
0:10:17 > 0:10:20I loved the colour. It was like a charcoal grey.
0:10:20 > 0:10:23- Ooh, nice.- But I swear, I could have only picked up two,
0:10:23 > 0:10:27three baking trays, four at tops, and they melted straight through.
0:10:27 > 0:10:31- And you never replaced them?- No. - So what you on now, tea towels?
0:10:31 > 0:10:37- Yep.- That's not good. - You're a fool. See that blister? That's tea towels.
0:10:37 > 0:10:39Here, give these a try.
0:10:47 > 0:10:48Yeah, that is nice.
0:11:00 > 0:11:04Can't feel a thing.
0:11:04 > 0:11:09Look, don't get me wrong, we LIKE having them here, it's just...
0:11:11 > 0:11:15Thing is, she can do no wrong in his eyes, or Mick's for that matter.
0:11:15 > 0:11:20It's difficult, isn't it? What about the eating, then? She still think you're vegetarian?
0:11:20 > 0:11:22I can't tell her, Dawn. The lie's too deep.
0:11:22 > 0:11:27I'm in it up to my neck! We're going on an animal rights demo in a fortnight!
0:11:27 > 0:11:30- What's that?- What? Nothing, darling.
0:11:30 > 0:11:32Yeah, you were saying something.
0:11:34 > 0:11:35Oh, it's nothing.
0:11:35 > 0:11:40Look, if it's about the threesome, you can talk about it in front of me. I don't mind.
0:11:40 > 0:11:44Yeah. It was about the three-way.
0:11:44 > 0:11:47What's the latest on that front?
0:11:49 > 0:11:51Well, we are still looking...
0:11:51 > 0:11:53Ooh, isn't it exciting?
0:11:53 > 0:11:56But it's definitely not Seth.
0:11:56 > 0:11:57He's a complete no-go.
0:11:57 > 0:12:00Pete's flown him back to Ghana.
0:12:00 > 0:12:02Probably for the best.
0:12:02 > 0:12:04Aw, there's a shame, he was lush.
0:12:04 > 0:12:09Well, we do have a few more irons in the fire, but I can't say too much cos I don't want to jinx it.
0:12:09 > 0:12:11Is one of them Mick?
0:12:15 > 0:12:21I don't see why, if we're pulling it out to here, why we can't move the door and all.
0:12:21 > 0:12:24I'm worried about that RSJ.
0:12:24 > 0:12:26Yeah.
0:12:26 > 0:12:27Do you know what an RSJ is?
0:12:28 > 0:12:29No.
0:12:30 > 0:12:33- It's a Rolled Steel Joist.- What?
0:12:33 > 0:12:34A Rolled Steel Joist.
0:12:34 > 0:12:37Rolled Steel Joyce.
0:12:37 > 0:12:39Not Joyce, it's not a... It's a joist!
0:12:39 > 0:12:44- A joist!- Joist.- A Rolled Steel Joist.- Rolled Steel Joist.
0:12:44 > 0:12:49- Do you know where those details are for the flats we're gonna look at? - Under the coffee table.
0:12:49 > 0:12:52We're gonna need to measure the distance from here to that wall.
0:12:52 > 0:12:56Here, give it here then.
0:12:56 > 0:12:59- Stace, you in the shower?- Yeah.
0:12:59 > 0:13:02Well, just ignore me, won't be a sec.
0:13:02 > 0:13:03Pam!
0:13:03 > 0:13:07- What's that?- Five point eight.
0:13:07 > 0:13:13See? That should be long enough. There's even room for a heated towel rail! Cheers, Stace.
0:13:32 > 0:13:36- Oh, is it giving you jip, love? - Yeah.
0:13:36 > 0:13:38- I not gonna lie to you. - Do you want your sling?
0:13:38 > 0:13:43No, I gotta ride it out.
0:13:43 > 0:13:47- I'm off soon anyway.- Where is Bryn? He should have been here by now.
0:13:47 > 0:13:52- You doin' me an omelette for the trip, like?- I'm just lettin' it cool, love. Cheese and ham.
0:13:52 > 0:13:57- Where've you been? I've been ringing and ringing.- I've been watching Brokeback Mountain.- Again?
0:13:57 > 0:14:02- You watched it twice yesterday! - I can't get enough of it. Every shot is like a photograph.
0:14:02 > 0:14:07- You just loves that Heath Ledger, don't you? - I think he's a cracking actor.
0:14:07 > 0:14:09But then again, so is Jake. And the two of them together...
0:14:09 > 0:14:12Double bubble.
0:14:12 > 0:14:17- Right, are we ready for the off? - I'm still waiting on this omelette. Gwen, what's occurring?- Yes!
0:14:17 > 0:14:20All right Bryn, let's do one.
0:14:20 > 0:14:24I'm so sorry, babes. She doesn't think. Were you completely naked?
0:14:24 > 0:14:26Yeah! My full foof and everything!
0:14:26 > 0:14:27Oh, man! I'm sorry.
0:14:27 > 0:14:32- Is it right onto Picton Avenue? - Yeah, right and then it should be up there on the left.
0:14:48 > 0:14:50Not sure about this, are you?
0:14:50 > 0:14:54- We haven't been inside yet. - Gav-lar!
0:14:54 > 0:14:57- Up here!- Hiya!
0:14:57 > 0:14:59- All right!- What you doing here?
0:14:59 > 0:15:04- Come to look at a flat. - Gavin-lar!- Deano.
0:15:04 > 0:15:08- You've not met Stace, have you? - No.- Yeah!
0:15:08 > 0:15:11Oh, no, we haven't actually met, but I saw a photo of you.
0:15:11 > 0:15:16You were wearing a white dress, standing outside a church.
0:15:16 > 0:15:19I think it might have been someone's wedding.
0:15:19 > 0:15:22- Yeah, probably.- So what are you two actually doing up there?
0:15:22 > 0:15:25Fitting a satellite. You know us, Stace...
0:15:25 > 0:15:28Satisfaction with every erection.
0:15:28 > 0:15:32Not that he's satisfying anyone with his erections lately.
0:15:32 > 0:15:35Absolutely gagging for it. How many did you shift out last night?
0:15:35 > 0:15:41- Shut up, mate, I wasn't...- Four, wasn't it? He sent me a text saying he cracked four in under two hours.
0:15:41 > 0:15:44This is not meant for the delicate ears of a young lady like yourself.
0:15:44 > 0:15:49Don't worry about it, I'm just the same. Being at home doing nothing, it just passes the time.
0:15:49 > 0:15:55Like yesterday, I had three just watching Cash In The Attic. I think it's lush!
0:15:55 > 0:15:59- So you're still all right to pick Ness up, aren't you?- Yeah.
0:15:59 > 0:16:04- And we thought we'd go bowling or something.- Bowling? Arrrgghh. Whose idea was that, hers?
0:16:04 > 0:16:09- It'll be a laugh. - Yeah! She loves it. - She's not my girlfriend or anything.
0:16:09 > 0:16:11Well, you are the father of...
0:16:11 > 0:16:17- Yes, I'm the father of her child, it doesn't mean I have to like her. - You comin', Deano?- Bowling? Nah.
0:16:17 > 0:16:21- Scared of the shoes.- Come on, we're gonna be late.- See ya!
0:16:21 > 0:16:23On the morrow, young Galahad!
0:16:23 > 0:16:26How about her getting her five a day?
0:16:26 > 0:16:28That's the Welsh for you, mate.
0:16:28 > 0:16:31Filth. The lot of 'em.
0:16:46 > 0:16:51- David.- Bryn. All right, Ness. How's it going?
0:16:51 > 0:16:53All right, Dave. How's it going?
0:16:53 > 0:16:56- Business is booming I see. - Yeah, not bad.
0:16:56 > 0:16:59A lot of these are going to Tussauds.
0:16:59 > 0:17:01And how are you keeping within yourself?
0:17:01 > 0:17:05Up and down, Bryn. It's been a tricky few months. I won't lie to you.
0:17:05 > 0:17:07I heard. I heard about the problems.
0:17:07 > 0:17:09Not from me, Dave. My lips are sealed.
0:17:09 > 0:17:11Cheers, Ness. I appreciate that.
0:17:11 > 0:17:16- I only wish they had been at the time, like.- Very nasty business. Spread like wildfire.
0:17:16 > 0:17:22- Are we all cleared up now? - Pretty much. I'm into the back end of it.- I'll say.
0:17:22 > 0:17:27- I miss you, Ness. I miss you being around.- Why don't you come the barn dance?- What's that?
0:17:27 > 0:17:30Gwen's birthday on the 28th. We're short on numbers, aren't we, Bryn?
0:17:30 > 0:17:33Yes, and no. I've still not heard back from people so...
0:17:33 > 0:17:36- One more can't hurt though, can it? - Well...
0:17:36 > 0:17:38- What do you reckon, Dave? - You know me, Ness.
0:17:38 > 0:17:40I loves a barn dance.
0:17:40 > 0:17:42But it's up to Bryn.
0:17:47 > 0:17:50Oh. What's occurring?
0:17:50 > 0:17:52Nothing, nothing at all.
0:17:52 > 0:17:54It'll be great to have you there.
0:17:54 > 0:17:57Cracking, count me in. Fancy a little Dozy Do, Ness?
0:17:57 > 0:18:02- I think I've had enough doses from you for the time being, thanks Dave. - I know. I'm sorry.
0:18:02 > 0:18:05- I shouldn't have asked.- Right, well.
0:18:05 > 0:18:06Safe journey, Ness.
0:18:11 > 0:18:15Oh, and Dave. It's a surprise it is, the party, so keep it under your hat.
0:18:15 > 0:18:18Party? What party?
0:18:18 > 0:18:21Gwen's.
0:18:27 > 0:18:30- What's the matter?- Nothing. - Yes, there is. What's up?- Nothing!
0:18:30 > 0:18:35- You've got to go into these things...- With an open mind. I know. You said three times.
0:18:35 > 0:18:38Guys! I am so, so sorry.
0:18:38 > 0:18:40I thought...
0:18:40 > 0:18:46Anyway, I'm Duncan. You must be Gavin, and you must be Stacey.
0:18:46 > 0:18:47I'm only kidding!
0:18:47 > 0:18:50Pleased to meet you.
0:18:50 > 0:18:56Now, I'm gonna hand you the keys because, the wow factor is on the other side of the door.
0:18:56 > 0:18:59Follow me.
0:18:59 > 0:19:02So, I'll, er...
0:19:02 > 0:19:05let you find the flat for yourselves.
0:19:05 > 0:19:08Let you absorb,
0:19:08 > 0:19:10take it all in. Take in the space.
0:19:10 > 0:19:13There's something beautiful about that, isn't there?
0:19:13 > 0:19:18- So this is it? - Yeah, this is a studio flat.
0:19:18 > 0:19:20It says a large studio.
0:19:20 > 0:19:25- It is.- Is it?- Well, compared to a lot on our books, this is massive.
0:19:25 > 0:19:28This is your living cum kitchen cum bedroom area
0:19:28 > 0:19:32and that's what makes this unique, because you've got everything.
0:19:32 > 0:19:37I mean, I live in a three-storey town house, and believe me, those stairs are a killer.
0:19:37 > 0:19:39Room on each floor.
0:19:39 > 0:19:41Made a big mistake there, really.
0:19:41 > 0:19:48I should have bought this place. Stupid! And there's your bathroom. So it's on the market for two...
0:19:48 > 0:19:51- Can I have a look? - What?- At the bathroom.
0:19:51 > 0:19:54Well, yeah. All I would say, sometimes your eyes can...
0:19:54 > 0:19:57- Can we look at the bathroom, please?- Yep.
0:20:00 > 0:20:05- It hasn't even got a shower. - It's just a toilet and a sink. - Yeah, "Hasn't got a shower"
0:20:05 > 0:20:10or "Hasn't got a shower where you thinked it should have been". Take a look at this.
0:20:10 > 0:20:17Now, what you've got here, is a wet room slash kitchen. See that?
0:20:17 > 0:20:22Drainage. In Sweden they've all got one of these - they call it "Das Vetkutchen".
0:20:22 > 0:20:25I tell you what, Stacey, come and stand here. Come on.
0:20:28 > 0:20:32- And Gav...in. Gavin, come and hold this. - No, you're all right.
0:20:32 > 0:20:35- Just come and hold this. - Nah, it's fine, really.
0:20:35 > 0:20:38I'm not gonna turn the taps on.
0:20:38 > 0:20:40There you go.
0:20:40 > 0:20:42That's it. Move it around a bit.
0:20:44 > 0:20:48Yeah, there's something quite beautiful about that.
0:20:49 > 0:20:52I'd like to leave now, please.
0:20:59 > 0:21:03- Eight and a half, thanks.- Gav! They were disgusting. Every one of them. Four, please.
0:21:03 > 0:21:06- I can't believe you're even considering any of them.- I'm not.
0:21:06 > 0:21:10- We've got to be realistic. - For that money you can get a lush place in Barry.
0:21:10 > 0:21:14- There's a reason for that. - What's that supposed to mean?
0:21:14 > 0:21:18- There's a reason houses are cheap in Barry.- Why do you always slag Barry off?
0:21:18 > 0:21:22It's difficult living with a person who thinks Barry Island's the best place in the world,
0:21:22 > 0:21:27- who can't acknowledge that it ever even rains there.- It doesn't rain there much.- Don't be like this.
0:21:27 > 0:21:29Gavin Da Jahah Jahah!
0:21:29 > 0:21:34- All right, Smith? Nessa?- How's it going, Gav? All right, Stace? - Not really.
0:21:34 > 0:21:38- Cos someone who'll remain nameless is being a knob. - She's talking about you.
0:21:38 > 0:21:41Yeah, I imagine so. You need some shoes.
0:21:41 > 0:21:45- She's got her own. - I takes bowling very seriously. - Shall we get some drinks?- Yeah.
0:21:45 > 0:21:50- See you on the lanes. - Did you bring yer ball? - She's in the case.- What's up?
0:21:50 > 0:21:52Don't ask.
0:21:52 > 0:21:54I've just had enough of it, Ness.
0:21:54 > 0:21:58I got nothing to do all day. I just don't feel like I live there.
0:21:58 > 0:22:00- I always feel like I'm a guest, you know?- I do.
0:22:00 > 0:22:03What you doing?
0:22:03 > 0:22:07Shining her up. She's not been down the lanes in a long while this one.
0:22:07 > 0:22:11A bit of a polish sends her on her way.
0:22:11 > 0:22:15- Don't say anything though.- About what?- About what I was just saying. - Of course not.
0:22:15 > 0:22:18It's just at the moment, you know, she's doing my head in.
0:22:18 > 0:22:22Smithy, do you want to go in as Smithy or do you want me to do a funny name?
0:22:22 > 0:22:24Like Gay Boy? I've put Gav down as Knobhead.
0:22:24 > 0:22:27Just put him in as Smithy. Come on.
0:22:27 > 0:22:29I'm itching to bowl.
0:22:29 > 0:22:36- Wow. I've never seen one like that before.- You've never seen anyone bowl like this before.
0:23:07 > 0:23:12Right, who gets 11 strikes? I mean, what are you, semi-pro?
0:23:12 > 0:23:17- It does matter and I can't believe you don't think it does.- I think renting...- What are you saying?
0:23:17 > 0:23:20If you shut up for a minute and stopped shouting like a child...
0:23:20 > 0:23:24- Oh, Stace! What's occurring? - I don't want to talk about it. I just want to go home.
0:23:24 > 0:23:29- You all right, mate?- Stacey! Can we please talk about this? - I want to go home!- Right.
0:23:29 > 0:23:33- Do you mean Barry Island, or you know, Mum and Dad's, where we live? - Oh, grow up, Gav.
0:23:33 > 0:23:37ME grow up? I'm not the one who can't spend more than five minutes away from their family.
0:23:37 > 0:23:41- Did you hear that, Ness? - I'm not getting involved. - Let's all get in the car.
0:23:41 > 0:23:45- I thought we were getting a KFC? - We're not getting a KFC.- What?!
0:23:48 > 0:23:49- Three door, innit?- Yep.
0:24:00 > 0:24:02It's one rule for you and one rule for me.
0:24:02 > 0:24:05- That's simply not true!- It is! - I'm trying to...
0:24:05 > 0:24:10- I'm sick of you, I'm sick of this house, I'm sick of the way you... - Oi! Oi! What's going on?- Nothing!
0:24:10 > 0:24:14- Will you just calm down a minute? - It doesn't sound like nothing.
0:24:14 > 0:24:15Everything all right?
0:24:15 > 0:24:19- Don't worry, Pam. Your little Prince is fine.- Eh?- Stacey!
0:24:19 > 0:24:25- What's going on?- I don't know, Pam. All I know is if I don't eat this now I'm gonna faint.
0:24:25 > 0:24:27Me too. I can barely breathe.
0:24:27 > 0:24:31What have I told you about eating late at night? All that cholesterol.
0:24:31 > 0:24:34- It's only a six piece. - And we got coleslaw.
0:24:34 > 0:24:37Well done, darlings. Now, Nessa, you know where you're sleeping, do you?
0:24:37 > 0:24:39Yeah, thanks, Pam. Cracking.
0:24:39 > 0:24:43- Night, God bless. - Just help yourselves to whatever.
0:24:47 > 0:24:51- What are you doing? Leave them be, woman. Come on. - Don't you "woman" me.
0:24:51 > 0:24:56- He's my only son. I've got a right to know what's going on. - No, he's a grown man, Pam.
0:24:56 > 0:25:03- You're gettin' on my wick, Mick. - Then we'll wait a few more months. - A few months!
0:25:05 > 0:25:07Oh!
0:25:07 > 0:25:10MOANING
0:25:10 > 0:25:13Oh, God.
0:25:13 > 0:25:19Oh, that is so good.
0:25:19 > 0:25:21Yeah.
0:25:21 > 0:25:22You just can't beat it, can you?
0:25:22 > 0:25:28- What is that secret blend of eleven herbs and spices, d'you think? - I know. The result is immense.
0:25:30 > 0:25:32So. How you finding single life?
0:25:32 > 0:25:35- What was her name again? - Lucy. Yeah, it's fine.
0:25:35 > 0:25:40It's all right. You know? There's some things I miss, obviously.
0:25:40 > 0:25:43Yeah. Stace was saying you been crackin' them out of late.
0:25:43 > 0:25:45What?
0:25:45 > 0:25:48Why would she... I can't believe...
0:25:48 > 0:25:52Don't worry about it. It's normal. I'm in a similar position myself.
0:25:53 > 0:25:55Right.
0:25:55 > 0:25:58D'you want that corn on the cob?
0:25:58 > 0:26:06- Is that a euphemism?- What? No, I'm just saying there's one corn on the cob left and you can have it.
0:26:14 > 0:26:16If you want it.
0:26:22 > 0:26:24Do you want me to have it?
0:26:25 > 0:26:29I can see the benefits of having it.
0:26:29 > 0:26:32I'd just be worried how you...
0:26:32 > 0:26:37or I would feel after having it.
0:26:39 > 0:26:42Makes no odds to me, as it goes.
0:26:42 > 0:26:46If I have it it'll be a nice addition to the meal, if I don't... then, I'm pretty full up already.
0:26:48 > 0:26:50The question is, Smithy,
0:26:52 > 0:26:54do you want the corn on the cob?
0:26:58 > 0:27:00Don't get me wrong.
0:27:01 > 0:27:03When I look at it there,
0:27:03 > 0:27:08all hot and dripping in butter, just...
0:27:08 > 0:27:10inviting me in,
0:27:11 > 0:27:13I've got a real hankering for it.
0:27:13 > 0:27:15- Like a real need.- Mmm...
0:27:17 > 0:27:18But I would just be worried that if
0:27:18 > 0:27:22I ate it tonight, I'd be expected to eat it more frequently.
0:27:22 > 0:27:24I wouldn't worry about that, if I was you.
0:27:24 > 0:27:30Corn on the cob is a once in a blue moon treat as far as I'm concerned, which once eaten is soon forgotten.
0:27:30 > 0:27:33It won't be mentioned ever again.
0:27:33 > 0:27:35To anyone.
0:27:37 > 0:27:39Well, that's good to know.
0:27:43 > 0:27:45# My mind's telling me no
0:27:49 > 0:27:56# But my body, my body is telling me yes
0:27:56 > 0:27:57# Baby
0:27:57 > 0:28:02# I don't want to hurt nobody
0:28:02 > 0:28:06# But there is something that I must confess... #
0:28:06 > 0:28:10Oh, God.
0:28:10 > 0:28:12- So, shall we...- Yeah.