0:00:02 > 0:00:05- I feel like I'm all on my own. - What?- I'm lonely.
0:00:05 > 0:00:07I'm moving back home.
0:00:07 > 0:00:10She's there, I'm here. It's not over, it's just...
0:00:10 > 0:00:12- Not a marriage any more. - Thanks, Smithy(!)
0:00:12 > 0:00:14I'm taking her to bingo tonight, if you fancy it.
0:00:14 > 0:00:17- Can I bring Dave?- You two are quite an item now.- I know.
0:00:17 > 0:00:20- Jason.- What's wrong?- It's about Dave.
0:00:20 > 0:00:23- He knows.- For God's sake!- Oh, why did I tell him every damn thing?
0:00:23 > 0:00:25- What, even about...? - Yes, everything!
0:00:25 > 0:00:28I just miss him so much!
0:00:28 > 0:00:30- I just miss her so much.- I hate this!
0:00:30 > 0:00:33- When can I see ya?- Whenever you like!
0:00:33 > 0:00:35- I love you, Stacey.- I love you, baby.
0:00:35 > 0:00:37We'll be all right, aren't we?
0:00:37 > 0:00:39Of course we are!
0:00:39 > 0:00:41Of course we are!
0:00:41 > 0:00:43Hiya! Are you in work?
0:00:43 > 0:00:48- Yeah, you've just rung me on my work number.- Oh, yeah!
0:00:48 > 0:00:52Did you get back OK last night? I don't know why you came down just for the evening.
0:00:52 > 0:00:54- I wanted to see you. - You must be knackered.
0:00:54 > 0:00:59- It's fine.- Well, look I've decided, I'm coming to you next time.
0:00:59 > 0:01:01- You don't have to. - I've booked my ticket.
0:01:01 > 0:01:03- Really?- I want to.
0:01:03 > 0:01:05- I want to come up.- That's brilliant.
0:01:05 > 0:01:07Yeah.
0:01:17 > 0:01:21- Stacey!- Hiya!- I'm so sorry I'm late.
0:01:21 > 0:01:24- The traffic was ridiculous.- It's OK.
0:01:25 > 0:01:27Come here.
0:01:32 > 0:01:35- Right. Shall we, um...? - Yeah. I'm just over here.
0:01:39 > 0:01:41So you really want me to move these golf clubs?
0:01:41 > 0:01:43- Yes! To the garage.- Why?
0:01:43 > 0:01:46Because Stacey will be here in a minute, and I don't want her
0:01:46 > 0:01:50coming in to be greeted by your drivers and bloody nine irons!
0:01:50 > 0:01:55Well, those drivers and bloody nine irons have been kept there for the last seven months
0:01:55 > 0:01:56while Stacey lived under this roof,
0:01:56 > 0:01:58so it's not going to make any difference.
0:01:58 > 0:02:02Do you want to fall out with me today, Michael? Do you want to?
0:02:02 > 0:02:06Because I tell you what, you are hanging by a very thin thread, young man.
0:02:06 > 0:02:09I just don't understand what all the fuss is about.
0:02:09 > 0:02:14It's not fuss, Michael, it's preparation for the fact that within the hour
0:02:14 > 0:02:18your daughter-in-law will be returning to her marital, matrimonial home -
0:02:18 > 0:02:22- incidentally, which she hates living in...- She doesn't hate it...
0:02:22 > 0:02:27..in order to discuss the fact as to whether or not she will be staying here or Barry's Island.
0:02:27 > 0:02:32- It's Barry Island. - Ooh, y'know what, Michael?! You are bein' a right sarky bastard today!
0:02:32 > 0:02:36- It isn't Barry's Island. It doesn't belong to a man called Barry. - CAR HORN
0:02:36 > 0:02:39Oh, my God, they're here.
0:02:41 > 0:02:43Forget about the clubs.
0:02:43 > 0:02:45Just act natural. Come here, come here!
0:02:45 > 0:02:47Act natural!
0:02:49 > 0:02:51Hello!
0:02:51 > 0:02:53Welcome, welcome!
0:02:53 > 0:03:00Welcome to our home, which is, of course, YOUR home, should you choose to make a choice to live, y'know...
0:03:00 > 0:03:03Hiya, Stace. Come here. Lovely to see you.
0:03:03 > 0:03:04- Hiya.- You well? You look well.
0:03:04 > 0:03:08Don't tell her she looks well! That's like saying she looks fat!
0:03:08 > 0:03:14Which of course you don't. You look beautiful and lovely and radiant, even though your mum did say...
0:03:14 > 0:03:19- Mum, any chance of a cup of tea? - Yes. Of course... Now, you go through and make yourself at home,
0:03:19 > 0:03:21because it IS your home.
0:03:21 > 0:03:23- Regardless of the fact...- Pam. Tea.
0:03:23 > 0:03:26- Yes.- Yeah... I'll take this upstairs.
0:03:26 > 0:03:28I'll just put these in the garage.
0:03:46 > 0:03:51Well, that's that done! It's a crackin' feelin' when you finish a book, isn't it?
0:03:51 > 0:03:55I know. You get an immense sense of achievement.
0:03:55 > 0:03:59- How you gettin' on with yours, Ness? - I won't lie, it's a tough read.
0:03:59 > 0:04:01It's puttin' me through the wringer.
0:04:01 > 0:04:04What is it actually about, The Satanic Verses?
0:04:04 > 0:04:07Don't make me talk about it. I don't want another fatwa.
0:04:07 > 0:04:12Well, I've got half an hour, I think I'll get goin' on the sequel to this one.
0:04:12 > 0:04:16- Fair play. What's it called? - Erm...hang on.
0:04:16 > 0:04:19No, Daddy, Please Don't.
0:04:19 > 0:04:21By the same author. DOOR OPENS
0:04:21 > 0:04:22He's had a terrible time of it.
0:04:22 > 0:04:25- Only me.- Where've you been?
0:04:25 > 0:04:29Been into town, I have. And I've bought myself one of these!
0:04:29 > 0:04:31I only went in for a Nano.
0:04:31 > 0:04:34I've come out with a 60 gig!
0:04:34 > 0:04:38- That's over 50,000 songs. - Have you got that many to put on there?
0:04:38 > 0:04:41No-o! But that's the beauty.
0:04:41 > 0:04:47After I've put all mine on, I've still got room for 49,853 songs!
0:04:47 > 0:04:48Which I see as positive.
0:04:50 > 0:04:52I mean, she is massive now.
0:04:52 > 0:04:54- Absolutely huge.- Really?
0:04:54 > 0:04:58Yeah. She's like a boat. But she haven't got no stretch marks.
0:04:58 > 0:05:02- She didn't have to stretch much in the first place, did she, darlin'?- Pam!
0:05:02 > 0:05:05I'm only sayin'. That's the beauty of bein' a bigger girl.
0:05:05 > 0:05:07You're already stretched.
0:05:07 > 0:05:11This is the one I really like, but have a look at them all, see what you think.
0:05:11 > 0:05:15- Is that the one with the balcony at the back?- Yeah. We can see that one tomorrow.
0:05:15 > 0:05:20- But not the nice one till Monday, so...- These are really expensive. - I know, but...
0:05:20 > 0:05:22- They're right out of our price range.- I know that...
0:05:22 > 0:05:26But... Look, the thing is... Mum?
0:05:26 > 0:05:27You tell her, Mick.
0:05:27 > 0:05:29Right... Pam and I have had a chat,
0:05:29 > 0:05:32and we talked to Gav about it the other day.
0:05:32 > 0:05:34We don't like seeing you unhappy.
0:05:34 > 0:05:37It's difficult for you living here, you need your own place...
0:05:37 > 0:05:41- And can I just say I know that I have not been entirely...- Pam.
0:05:41 > 0:05:43- SHE WHISPERS:- Sorry!
0:05:43 > 0:05:44To cut a long story short,
0:05:44 > 0:05:48we've decided we'd like to give you the money for a deposit on a flat
0:05:48 > 0:05:52and then lend you whatever you need to get the ball rolling.
0:05:53 > 0:05:55Isn't that brilliant?
0:05:55 > 0:05:57Yeah, it's fantastic.
0:05:57 > 0:06:00Bloody hell, Stace, you could look a bit more excited!
0:06:00 > 0:06:04- No, it's fantastic. I'm really grateful. It's just... - You don't look it!
0:06:04 > 0:06:07- No, I am...- I tell you what, why don't we leave you both to it...
0:06:07 > 0:06:12- I'm sure you've got a lot to talk about. Come on, Pam.- Mick...
0:06:12 > 0:06:15- I really am grateful.- I know, love.
0:06:15 > 0:06:19- My God, bloody hell.- Shhh! - Don't you shush me!
0:06:19 > 0:06:22- We've just offered to lend her 20 thousand grands! - DOOR SLAMS
0:06:26 > 0:06:27What's goin' on, Stace?
0:06:29 > 0:06:30I don't know.
0:06:34 > 0:06:37I don't know.
0:06:37 > 0:06:41Because most people would see what happened just now as a good thing.
0:06:42 > 0:06:46But by the look on your face, it's like...it's a bad thing.
0:06:46 > 0:06:51I just don't know if now is the right time for us to be talking about houses.
0:06:52 > 0:06:55Cos there's other stuff we need to sort out.
0:06:56 > 0:06:58Like what?
0:06:58 > 0:07:00Gav...
0:07:00 > 0:07:02we've been living apart for four weeks...
0:07:02 > 0:07:05Things aren't exactly great between us.
0:07:05 > 0:07:07I know, but I thought...
0:07:07 > 0:07:12What, you thought everything was fine again? Just like that?
0:07:12 > 0:07:14No!
0:07:15 > 0:07:17Yeah.
0:07:17 > 0:07:19I did...
0:07:19 > 0:07:22I do.
0:07:22 > 0:07:25- Well, you've got no idea then if you...- No.
0:07:26 > 0:07:31I haven't got a clue, cos I can't work out what's wrong unless you tell me!
0:07:31 > 0:07:34Cos you say it's a house, you say it's livin' here,
0:07:34 > 0:07:38and now I'm starting to wonder if actually the problem might be me.
0:07:38 > 0:07:39Is it?
0:07:41 > 0:07:44You were supposed to say something at that point.
0:07:47 > 0:07:50My God... Are you breaking up with me?
0:07:50 > 0:07:52I don't want to...
0:07:52 > 0:07:55But what? Is that why you came here?
0:07:55 > 0:07:58No, it isn't. I came here excited to see you...
0:07:58 > 0:08:00This "I need space, I need time at home" thing.
0:08:00 > 0:08:04..but the minute I walk through the door I feel like I'm trapped!
0:08:04 > 0:08:06- Trapped? By what? By me? By living here?- Everything!
0:08:06 > 0:08:08- Too much, too quick. - PHONE RINGS
0:08:08 > 0:08:13You've been sayin' this every day since you moved in! I don't know what more I can do.
0:08:13 > 0:08:16Nor do I.
0:08:16 > 0:08:18Because you're perfect and...
0:08:18 > 0:08:23so lovely and you look after me and...
0:08:23 > 0:08:25that's everything I've ever wanted.
0:08:26 > 0:08:30- I'll move to Barry. Or Cardiff.- No, Gav.- But I thought you wanted that!
0:08:30 > 0:08:33- Jesus, make up your mind! - It wouldn't work.
0:08:33 > 0:08:36MOBILE PHONE RINGS Why? Sorry.
0:08:36 > 0:08:40- Why wouldn't it work? - Because you'd feel the same down there like I do up here.
0:08:44 > 0:08:47We're from different worlds, Gav.
0:08:47 > 0:08:51And I don't think either of us realised how different they were.
0:08:53 > 0:08:55If we were really meant to be together,
0:08:55 > 0:09:00if this was it, then that wouldn't matter.
0:09:00 > 0:09:02And we'd be happy wherever we were.
0:09:02 > 0:09:04But we're not.
0:09:06 > 0:09:08And I can't ignore that any more.
0:09:14 > 0:09:16Don't take it off. Please.
0:09:16 > 0:09:19- I love you.- I love you, Gavin. - PHONE RINGS
0:09:20 > 0:09:24But it's not enough, is it?
0:09:26 > 0:09:29- Stacey...you... - Nessa's gone into labour!
0:09:29 > 0:09:30What?!
0:09:30 > 0:09:34Whoooarrghh...
0:09:34 > 0:09:37Whoooargh...
0:09:37 > 0:09:40- Whoargh. - HE STOPS TIMER
0:09:40 > 0:09:43How long was that one, Bryn?
0:09:43 > 0:09:4723.5. That's just under a couple of minutes less than last time.
0:09:47 > 0:09:50At least we're going in the right direction, eh, Ness?
0:09:50 > 0:09:53- Is it time for the music? - I'm onto it right now.
0:09:53 > 0:09:57I thought a little bit of Jack Johnson.
0:09:57 > 0:10:01- Just to put you in the right mood. - Tidy.
0:10:01 > 0:10:04There you go. Are you sure you want it plain? No cheese nor nothin'?
0:10:04 > 0:10:07No. That's crackin'.
0:10:07 > 0:10:11Right, well, I've rung Doris. Doris will tell Peg... and I spoke to Jase...
0:10:11 > 0:10:14He sends his love, so that's it! We just got to sit and wait now.
0:10:17 > 0:10:18BOTH: Smithy!
0:10:18 > 0:10:22It rings and rings then goes to voice mail. Same with everyone.
0:10:22 > 0:10:25I've tried Chinese, Budgie, Gary and Simon... What will we do?
0:10:25 > 0:10:28A month early! It's unheard of at her age.
0:10:28 > 0:10:34- How old is she, by the way? - I don't really know. No-one does. I don't think Ness is 100 per cent.
0:10:34 > 0:10:37We'll take you down with us, get there as soon as possible.
0:10:37 > 0:10:39You need to find Smithy and bring him with you.
0:10:39 > 0:10:43- I can get the train.- Don't be silly. We'll be much quicker driving.
0:10:43 > 0:10:45I'll take you down and you find Smithy.
0:10:45 > 0:10:49- No...- No, listen Smithy'll be in enough of a state as it is.
0:10:49 > 0:10:51He'll need you with him. You better get on.
0:10:51 > 0:10:53- Where do I start?- Driving range.
0:10:55 > 0:10:57OK. Well...
0:10:57 > 0:11:01I'll see you down there.
0:11:01 > 0:11:03Take care.
0:11:05 > 0:11:06Right.
0:11:07 > 0:11:09- Bye, then.- Bye.
0:11:09 > 0:11:11Good luck!
0:11:11 > 0:11:14What you smilin' at?
0:11:14 > 0:11:16It's all the drama, Mick. I just love it!
0:11:16 > 0:11:22Whoooaaaarrrggghhhh...
0:11:22 > 0:11:25argh.....
0:11:25 > 0:11:30Ohhhhh...!
0:11:31 > 0:11:33That was a big one, Ness.
0:11:33 > 0:11:35- How's she doin'?- Hiya, love.
0:11:35 > 0:11:39- Hiya, sexy.- Dave. - How're you feelin'?
0:11:39 > 0:11:41How d'you think she's feeling?
0:11:41 > 0:11:44Sorry. Look, I bought you this... I got it from Jill Thomas, I did.
0:11:44 > 0:11:47- It's a TENS machine. - Isn't Jill Thomas a vet?
0:11:47 > 0:11:50That's right. Now, it's normally used on cattle.
0:11:50 > 0:11:54- But she reckoned the effect is exactly the same.- Cheers, Dave. Tidy. Stick it on.
0:11:54 > 0:11:56W-w-w-w-woah.
0:11:56 > 0:11:58Are we sure this is wise?
0:11:58 > 0:12:01- Nessa's not a cow.- No.
0:12:01 > 0:12:03- She's a fox.- Oh.
0:12:03 > 0:12:05Come here.
0:12:21 > 0:12:23Any news on Smithy?
0:12:23 > 0:12:28He wasn't at the driving range. I tried the Coach And Horses. Brian's not seen him.
0:12:28 > 0:12:30Hang on, I've got a call comin' in. It's Gary and Simon.
0:12:30 > 0:12:34Gary and Simon...yeah. I'm just pullin' in there now.
0:12:34 > 0:12:36OK.
0:12:39 > 0:12:41All right, Gavin, what you havin'?
0:12:41 > 0:12:45- Oh, my God, that totally rhymed. I'm like Lily Allen.- Rudi,
0:12:45 > 0:12:48- you seen your brother?- He was in yesterday blagging onion rings.
0:12:48 > 0:12:50Look, Nessa's gone into labour.
0:12:50 > 0:12:54- Shut the f...!- I know. She's a month early. She's havin' contractions. - Right.
0:12:54 > 0:12:56- What you doin'?- I'm coming with you.
0:12:56 > 0:13:00- Won't they sack you?- I so don't care. We've got to find him.
0:13:05 > 0:13:10Always wanted to do that! Right, let's try The Crown.
0:13:10 > 0:13:12I remember the first time I went into labour.
0:13:12 > 0:13:14The first time? The only time.
0:13:14 > 0:13:17- Or is there something you haven't told me?- You know what I mean.
0:13:17 > 0:13:21It was 39 hours from start to finish.
0:13:21 > 0:13:25- Horrendous. I'm not going through that again. - Really?- It was all right for you.
0:13:25 > 0:13:28You fell asleep. He fell asleep, Stace.
0:13:28 > 0:13:33Went to get some coffee, y'know, from the machine, he was gone three and a half hours.
0:13:33 > 0:13:37- They only woke him up cos someone thought he'd gone in a coma.- Oh, shut up!
0:13:37 > 0:13:39By the time he got back, I'd had epidural,
0:13:39 > 0:13:42gas and air, all sorts...didn't know who he was.
0:13:42 > 0:13:45You kept callin' me Spencer - whoever HE is.
0:13:45 > 0:13:47PAM CHUCKLES
0:13:47 > 0:13:49Worth it in the end, though.
0:13:49 > 0:13:52He'll be a great dad, Gav will.
0:13:52 > 0:13:54- He will, my love.- Yeah...
0:13:54 > 0:13:57I know.
0:13:57 > 0:13:58They're gettin' closer...
0:13:58 > 0:14:01They're about every five minutes, give or take.
0:14:01 > 0:14:03And they're a lot more intense.
0:14:03 > 0:14:06She keeps making a sort of mooing noise. Like a cow.
0:14:06 > 0:14:07NESS MOANS
0:14:07 > 0:14:09Is that normal? We're just finding out now.
0:14:09 > 0:14:11Bryn, any joy?
0:14:12 > 0:14:14I'd say about four.
0:14:14 > 0:14:16Five at a push.
0:14:16 > 0:14:18Did you hear that?
0:14:18 > 0:14:19Oh, really?
0:14:19 > 0:14:24Right. OK. Well, thank you very much for your help.
0:14:24 > 0:14:27Oh, Gwen, what's occurring?
0:14:27 > 0:14:29It's time, love. They want us to bring you in.
0:14:29 > 0:14:31- Oh, boy!- Oh, God.
0:14:31 > 0:14:35But what does that mean, they're taking her in? Is that bad?
0:14:35 > 0:14:39No, nothing. It feels like we're just driving around in circles.
0:14:39 > 0:14:41No, I'm with Rudi, Smithy's sister...
0:14:41 > 0:14:44- Bryn says hello. - All right, Bryn? How's it going?
0:14:44 > 0:14:46He says he's good, thanks, but he's a bit...
0:14:46 > 0:14:49Actually Bryn, now's not really a good... Yeah...
0:14:49 > 0:14:51- OK.- Oh, my God. Pull over. Pull over!
0:14:51 > 0:14:53- What?- Cherice.
0:14:53 > 0:14:56Cherice! CHERICE! What is wrong with you?
0:14:56 > 0:14:59Don't even chat to me, I ain't got nothin' to say to you.
0:14:59 > 0:15:02- What is your problem? - One word. Darren Millar.
0:15:02 > 0:15:06- I ain't done nothin' with Darren Millar. Not since Year 10. - Liar.- I ain't a liar!
0:15:06 > 0:15:11- My aunty saw you on the fire escape. - Why would I lie? You're not even with Darren Millar!
0:15:11 > 0:15:14What you mean? You know full well I'm with Darren Millar.
0:15:14 > 0:15:17I ain't done nothing with him, I ain't gone near him. I wouldn't do that.
0:15:17 > 0:15:20You disgust me with your antics!
0:15:20 > 0:15:24BOTH SHOUT AT ONCE
0:15:26 > 0:15:28You're dead to me, yeah?
0:15:28 > 0:15:30You're stabbin' me in the heart(!)
0:15:30 > 0:15:32Thank you!
0:15:32 > 0:15:34Go away!
0:15:34 > 0:15:38- Sorry, I just...- I hate her aunty. Knew she saw us on the fire escape.
0:16:04 > 0:16:06FOOTBALL PLAYS
0:16:09 > 0:16:12It's rammed.
0:16:13 > 0:16:16He's not here. Shit.
0:16:16 > 0:16:18Hang on a minute.
0:16:20 > 0:16:24Shut up! Shut up a minute.
0:16:24 > 0:16:26- Anyone seen my brother?- There he is.
0:16:26 > 0:16:29- Smithy!- Sorry about that, boys.
0:16:29 > 0:16:32- Smithy!- Gavlar! What you doin' here?
0:16:32 > 0:16:33- I thought Stacey was...- Mate.
0:16:33 > 0:16:37- What? What's happened? - Nessa's gone into labour.
0:16:38 > 0:16:40She's not due for another month.
0:16:40 > 0:16:44- I'll call Mum and I'll tell Nana Joyce. Just keep in touch!- Will do!
0:16:44 > 0:16:47- Dude, I love you, man. - Cheers, Rudes.
0:16:54 > 0:17:00- Right.- Smithy! You ain't heavy, yeah? You're my brother.
0:17:06 > 0:17:08And what's your full name?
0:17:08 > 0:17:11Jenkins.
0:17:11 > 0:17:12Vanessa Shanessa Jenkins.
0:17:20 > 0:17:24- Getting yourself a soup, are you, Bryn?- What's that supposed to mean?
0:17:24 > 0:17:27Bryn, come on. I know things have been difficult between us,
0:17:27 > 0:17:29what with Jason coming back...
0:17:29 > 0:17:33- I'd never have told you if I'd known you'd become part of our lives!- You know what,
0:17:33 > 0:17:36I wish I didn't know either, but I do.
0:17:36 > 0:17:37It's difficult for me as well,
0:17:37 > 0:17:41you standing there with the soup... It sets my mind racing, you know?
0:17:41 > 0:17:44- Oh, God.- I promise you, Bryn, I've not told a soul.
0:17:44 > 0:17:47- Not even Nessa?- No!
0:17:47 > 0:17:50And even if I wanted to tell anyone, I wouldn't know where to start.
0:17:50 > 0:17:54In my mind, it's a physical impossibility.
0:17:54 > 0:17:55It defies gravity!
0:17:55 > 0:17:57I know.
0:17:58 > 0:18:02- You gotta trust me, Bryn. - Right...well, we're all set.
0:18:02 > 0:18:05The room's this way if you want to follow me.
0:18:09 > 0:18:12- Thank you, David. - You just enjoy your soup, Bryn.
0:18:14 > 0:18:16- I can't believe this.- I know.
0:18:18 > 0:18:20My baby is going to be born in Wales.
0:18:20 > 0:18:22Eurgh.
0:18:23 > 0:18:26- Well, he ain't speaking the language.- It might be a girl.
0:18:26 > 0:18:28Don't make it worse.
0:18:28 > 0:18:30# ..Lie down,
0:18:30 > 0:18:33# Remember it's just you and me... #
0:18:33 > 0:18:34HE SWITCHES RADIO OFF
0:18:34 > 0:18:37- You all right? What's up?- Nothin'.
0:18:37 > 0:18:39- What is it?- I'm fine!
0:18:42 > 0:18:45I think me and Stacey have split up.
0:18:45 > 0:18:48What? Shut up!
0:18:48 > 0:18:50- Yeah. She did it today.- Mate! Why?
0:18:52 > 0:18:54I dunno. She gave me loads of reasons...
0:18:54 > 0:18:57- I just think she doesn't want me any more.- Oh, come on.
0:18:57 > 0:18:59No, seriously. I've never seen her like that before.
0:19:01 > 0:19:04What a day.
0:19:05 > 0:19:08I'm sorry, mate, I know I should be here for you more
0:19:08 > 0:19:09but I'm just not with it, you know?
0:19:09 > 0:19:13Listen... everything you've done for me...
0:19:13 > 0:19:16and if she's serious, if she means it,
0:19:16 > 0:19:19which I don't think she does, then she's a fool.
0:19:21 > 0:19:24Cos there's no-one else I'd rather wake up next to than you.
0:19:24 > 0:19:28No-one I'd want to look after me,
0:19:28 > 0:19:32hold me, cook for me, keep me warm at night.
0:19:32 > 0:19:35- Smithy...- No. Let me say it.
0:19:35 > 0:19:36I love you, Gavlar.
0:19:36 > 0:19:38I do.
0:19:38 > 0:19:41There, it's out there. I've said it.
0:19:41 > 0:19:45In fact, forget it, I don't love you, Gavlar, I love you, Gavin.
0:19:45 > 0:19:48- I don't like it when you call me Gavin.- I know you don't.
0:19:50 > 0:19:51That's why I can never replace her.
0:19:53 > 0:19:56Besides, you've got to get back with her
0:19:56 > 0:19:58cos her best mate's about to have my baby
0:19:58 > 0:20:01and if you're not around it'll be a bloody nightmare!
0:20:01 > 0:20:04Whoooooah! Sing to me, Bryn.
0:20:04 > 0:20:07# There's no combination of words I can put on the back of a postcard
0:20:07 > 0:20:11# No song that I can sing but I can try for your heart
0:20:11 > 0:20:15# Our dreams They are made out of real things
0:20:15 > 0:20:19# Like a shoe box of photographs and sepia tone loving... #
0:20:19 > 0:20:23- Where is she? Where's Mama? - Hiya. Oh, Ness.
0:20:23 > 0:20:25Hiya, Stace. Pam. Mick.
0:20:25 > 0:20:26I'm on the gas, I am...
0:20:26 > 0:20:29It's messin' with my head, I'm not going to lie to you.
0:20:29 > 0:20:32- Oh, my God, how are you feelin'? - Agghhr...
0:20:34 > 0:20:36Nurse! Nurse!
0:20:36 > 0:20:38Right, Mick...we need hot water, flannels...
0:20:38 > 0:20:40Pam. Calm down. We're in a hospital.
0:20:40 > 0:20:43- Everything's under control.- Dave.
0:20:43 > 0:20:46I need you. I need you now.
0:20:46 > 0:20:48- Oh, Christ. - That's the gas talking, Dave.
0:20:48 > 0:20:51No, it's not. Come on, climb on.
0:20:51 > 0:20:54Now's not the time, Ness.
0:20:54 > 0:20:58It really is only one person in with her at a time, where's the father?
0:20:58 > 0:21:01- He's on his way. - Right...so who would you like to stay with you?
0:21:01 > 0:21:03- I want Stace. - Really?- Right, come on.
0:21:03 > 0:21:06- Let's all go.- Please don't go.
0:21:06 > 0:21:09I'm just going to check you, see how far you've gone.
0:21:09 > 0:21:11Knock yourself out, love.
0:21:11 > 0:21:13How did it go with Gav, all right?
0:21:13 > 0:21:15I think it's over, Ness.
0:21:15 > 0:21:17You'd be a fool to let that one go.
0:21:17 > 0:21:19He's cracking, even if he is a bit short.
0:21:19 > 0:21:22- Right...I think we're ready!- What?
0:21:22 > 0:21:25Let's get you changed to have this baby, shall we?
0:21:25 > 0:21:28Dad? What? They've just taken her down now.
0:21:28 > 0:21:32What? I don't know what that means. What does that mean? I don't know what that means!
0:21:32 > 0:21:35It means she's going down to have the baby!
0:21:35 > 0:21:36Well, tell her to wait!
0:21:36 > 0:21:40We've just come over the bridge. We'll be about half hour.
0:21:40 > 0:21:42I'm going as quick as I can!
0:21:44 > 0:21:47Shit! I haven't got any money for the bridge.
0:21:47 > 0:21:49- Neither have I. - What've you got?- Dunno, not a lot.
0:21:49 > 0:21:53- I got exactly three quid. - I got two. Ten pence down.
0:21:53 > 0:21:54They'll let us off that, surely?
0:22:04 > 0:22:05Hi, sorry, we've only got five pounds
0:22:05 > 0:22:08- but his girlfriend is just... - She's not my girlfriend.
0:22:08 > 0:22:10I know, but for the purposes of this... Yeah?
0:22:10 > 0:22:13His girlfriend is about to have a baby...
0:22:13 > 0:22:17Sorry, sir, I cannot allow you into the country without payment of the appropriate fee.
0:22:17 > 0:22:21This was clearly advertised on your approach to the bridge. £5.10 only.
0:22:21 > 0:22:24"Only?!" Are you taking the piss?
0:22:24 > 0:22:28Can I draw your attention to the sign on your right which clearly states
0:22:28 > 0:22:32- "Offensive behaviour towards staff will not be tolerated..." - CAR HORN
0:22:32 > 0:22:34All right, dickhead!
0:22:34 > 0:22:38Actually, mate, have you got 10p? ..Yeah, you an' all.
0:22:38 > 0:22:41It's 10p, are you going to make him miss the birth
0:22:41 > 0:22:44of his first child for the sake of 10p?
0:22:44 > 0:22:46You do not have the appropriate funds.
0:22:46 > 0:22:48- Put your car into reverse. - I'm about to have a baby! It's 10p!
0:22:48 > 0:22:51- I'll bring it back, I promise! - CAR HORN
0:22:51 > 0:22:55- Fine.- What you doin'? Smithy?
0:22:55 > 0:22:58Stay away from the barrier.
0:22:58 > 0:23:01If you touch the barrier, you are in breach of...
0:23:01 > 0:23:02Well, you will be arrested.
0:23:02 > 0:23:05- Argh! Go! Go! Go!- See ya!
0:23:13 > 0:23:16Nearly there now, Ness. Not long to go.
0:23:16 > 0:23:20Right... No disrespect, Stace, but you've never done this before
0:23:20 > 0:23:23and neither have I, so why should I listen to you?
0:23:23 > 0:23:26- Good point. Fair play.- Ti...dy.
0:23:26 > 0:23:29- Oh...- You might find it easier if you go on all fours.
0:23:29 > 0:23:32I usually do. It's a home from home for me, that, love.
0:23:32 > 0:23:34- And me.- Me too.
0:23:36 > 0:23:38Well, they won't tell me a thing.
0:23:39 > 0:23:43- Oh, Mick, stop pacing, for crying out loud!- I can't sit still...
0:23:43 > 0:23:46I don't want him to miss it. Where the bloody hell are they?
0:23:46 > 0:23:50Well, I've never heard anything so ridiculous in all my life.
0:23:50 > 0:23:52- No, honestly! - She really is in labour!
0:23:52 > 0:23:56- I didn't mean you, I meant the bird on the bridge!- Right...yeah.
0:23:56 > 0:23:59I'd have done the same, boys, I won't lie to you.
0:23:59 > 0:24:01All right, great, so...
0:24:01 > 0:24:03Thanks, mate. Cheers.
0:24:03 > 0:24:05The birth of a baby and ten pence.
0:24:05 > 0:24:09- No contest, is there? - No. Thanks again. Cheers, mate.
0:24:09 > 0:24:11Yeah, I remember my first baby.
0:24:11 > 0:24:15- Oh, God!- I'd have driven through hell and high water to get there,
0:24:15 > 0:24:17you're not in control over your emotions.
0:24:17 > 0:24:21- If they can't understand that on the bridge, well, stuff 'em! - I know. Scandalous!
0:24:21 > 0:24:23Some of them are nothing, but little Hitlers.
0:24:23 > 0:24:25My sister-in-law, she's a cop,
0:24:25 > 0:24:27she lives up in... What's it called?
0:24:27 > 0:24:31- Mate, we've really got to... - Newbury... No, Newham! That's it.
0:24:31 > 0:24:34The reason we did what we did is because we're in a rush.
0:24:34 > 0:24:35We're still in that rush!
0:24:35 > 0:24:37My wife says I could talk for Wales!
0:24:37 > 0:24:40- Mate, come on, now. - Sorry. Ignore me. On you go!
0:24:40 > 0:24:46- Cheers.- Thanks.- Hey, if you put your foot down you'll do it in ten!
0:24:46 > 0:24:49- Come on, Ness. You can do it. - That's it. Good girl!
0:24:49 > 0:24:53Where's Smithy? I don't want him to miss this.
0:24:53 > 0:24:56- You can't worry about that now. - He'll be here. I know he will.
0:24:56 > 0:25:00Come on now, Ness. You're doing really well.
0:25:00 > 0:25:02OH, GOD!
0:25:02 > 0:25:04Where is he-eeeeeeee?
0:25:17 > 0:25:19They're all in Welsh.
0:25:19 > 0:25:22They're all in bloody Welsh! How're you meant to read the signs...?!
0:25:22 > 0:25:24Smithy, these are in English. This way. Come on.
0:25:26 > 0:25:28Aaaaaaaaaaahhhh!
0:25:28 > 0:25:33Oh, my God, Ness... I can see the head! It's amazin'!
0:25:33 > 0:25:38Come on now, Ness, dig deep. One more push!
0:25:38 > 0:25:40Whoooaaaarrrggghhhh...
0:25:40 > 0:25:46# And I can't stop now
0:25:46 > 0:25:53# Such a long time running
0:25:53 > 0:26:00# And I can't stop now
0:26:00 > 0:26:07# Do you hear my heart beating?
0:26:07 > 0:26:13# Can you hear that sound?
0:26:13 > 0:26:20# Cos I can't help thinking
0:26:20 > 0:26:27# And I don't look down... #
0:26:27 > 0:26:29You got a boy.
0:26:32 > 0:26:37# And then I looked up at the sun and I could see
0:26:38 > 0:26:43# All the way that gravity turns for you and me... #
0:26:44 > 0:26:47- Where's my clever girl? - Where is she?- Well done.
0:26:51 > 0:26:55- Aww...- Looks just like you, Smithy, poor little thing.
0:26:55 > 0:26:57What you going to call him?
0:26:57 > 0:27:00- I want to call him after me. - I'm going to call him after my dad.
0:27:00 > 0:27:01What?
0:27:01 > 0:27:03I'm going to call him after my father.
0:27:03 > 0:27:05No. Sorry...
0:27:05 > 0:27:09I want to name him after me. It's a family thing. We always...
0:27:09 > 0:27:10- So's mine.- What is your real name?
0:27:10 > 0:27:12What was your father called, my love?
0:27:12 > 0:27:14- Neil.- Neil.
0:27:14 > 0:27:17- Neil!- Neil! - BABY CRIES
0:27:17 > 0:27:19Well, there you go!
0:27:19 > 0:27:20LAUGHTER
0:27:25 > 0:27:28I always thought you was called Colin.
0:27:28 > 0:27:30- Colin?!- Yeah, Colin.- Why?
0:27:30 > 0:27:34Well, it's been so long, darlin', I can't remember!
0:27:36 > 0:27:41# Cos I can't help crying
0:27:43 > 0:27:49# And I won't look down. #
0:28:18 > 0:28:21Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:28:21 > 0:28:25E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk