0:00:02 > 0:00:03- I might be pregnant. - Oh, my God.
0:00:03 > 0:00:06- You done the test? - No, I'm gonna wait for Gav.
0:00:06 > 0:00:08I can't believe I'm gonna be a mum.
0:00:08 > 0:00:10Gav says you set a date for the wedding.
0:00:10 > 0:00:11Yeah, June the 13th...
0:00:11 > 0:00:13Going through with it, then?
0:00:13 > 0:00:15Yeah.
0:00:15 > 0:00:16Why?
0:00:16 > 0:00:19I'll look after Neil, no worries.
0:00:19 > 0:00:21SHE GIGGLES EXCITEDLY
0:00:25 > 0:00:27Oh, nevermind, babes.
0:00:27 > 0:00:29Come on, it's only our first try.
0:00:29 > 0:00:31I haven't been on the pill for over a year.
0:00:31 > 0:00:35- You can't make decisions like that without talking to me. What's wrong with you?- Exactly!
0:00:35 > 0:00:37What is wrong with me, Gav?
0:00:38 > 0:00:40What if I can't have children?
0:00:47 > 0:00:50Hiya. Right. I got the appointment. It's 10.30 Friday.
0:00:50 > 0:00:52OK.
0:00:52 > 0:00:55- We'll go straight from there to Essex.- Yeah, OK.
0:00:55 > 0:00:58It's weird, isn't it? Dawn and Pete.
0:00:58 > 0:01:01- Do you think we'll ever renew our vows?- Dunno.
0:01:02 > 0:01:06Oh, look, why are you still in a mood with me? I can't say sorry any more times.
0:01:06 > 0:01:09I know. I'm not. I just feel a bit weird about it, that's all.
0:01:09 > 0:01:13- What do you mean?- I dunno. Like, why you didn't tell me.
0:01:13 > 0:01:16All those months you could've got pregnant and you didn't. And why didn't you?
0:01:16 > 0:01:18That's why we're going the doctor's.
0:01:18 > 0:01:21I know. It's just been a bit of a shock, that's all.
0:01:21 > 0:01:23- I can't help it. - 'Gav...'
0:01:24 > 0:01:29If it turns out I can't have babies, you won't leave me, will you?
0:01:30 > 0:01:32Don't be stupid. Nutter.
0:01:33 > 0:01:34I love you.
0:01:34 > 0:01:37I love you, too. See you tonight.
0:01:37 > 0:01:39Yeah.
0:01:45 > 0:01:48I mean, it started off... it was meant to be intimate.
0:01:48 > 0:01:50You know, just close family, couple of friends.
0:01:50 > 0:01:52And then Pete's sister said she wanted to come.
0:01:52 > 0:01:54- Oh, God. - I know.
0:01:54 > 0:01:56And of course it's not that I don't like her,
0:01:56 > 0:01:59but if we invite her, we've got to invite him.
0:01:59 > 0:02:01- The brother? - No, the husband.
0:02:01 > 0:02:03Brother? That's all blown over.
0:02:03 > 0:02:06Turns out it really was identity theft all along.
0:02:06 > 0:02:08Somebody had taken Pete's card.
0:02:08 > 0:02:12Thing is, though, Pammy, this whole day is now bigger than our original wedding.
0:02:12 > 0:02:15And I said to Pete, "We are just renewing our vows.
0:02:15 > 0:02:17"We are not Louise and Jamie Redknapp."
0:02:17 > 0:02:20I bet he didn't like that. How many is it now, then?
0:02:20 > 0:02:22We're still waiting to hear back from people.
0:02:22 > 0:02:26But Pete just invites all sorts. I mean, for example, Bryn.
0:02:26 > 0:02:29I know since Christmas, Pete and Bryn have become very close.
0:02:29 > 0:02:31They're always on Facebook and that.
0:02:31 > 0:02:33Bryn's always following him on Twitter.
0:02:33 > 0:02:35But the thing is, Pammy,
0:02:35 > 0:02:38if we ask Bryn, we have to ask Gwyn.
0:02:38 > 0:02:40- Gwen. - Gwen. See? Don't even know her name.
0:02:40 > 0:02:42And then there's Nessa.
0:02:42 > 0:02:45If we invite Vanessa, we have to invite David. David Coaches...
0:02:45 > 0:02:48Oh, I don't envy you, Dawn. All the organisation and whatnot.
0:02:48 > 0:02:50Still, it's gonna be a nice day.
0:02:50 > 0:02:52Pamelar! Dawn!
0:02:52 > 0:02:54- Smithy, darling. - Hey, Smithy.
0:02:54 > 0:02:58Right. We got an hour. Get them clothes off and get upstairs.
0:02:58 > 0:03:00I'm a plumber. I'm a builder. Let's do it like in the movies.
0:03:00 > 0:03:04I don't know what films you've been watching!
0:03:04 > 0:03:09Pam, I know Mick hasn't fulfilled your needs for many years. And Dawn, I'm not sure Pete ever has.
0:03:09 > 0:03:10- SHE LAUGHS - So come on.
0:03:10 > 0:03:13Here's our chance, you naughty little chaffinches!
0:03:13 > 0:03:15Smithy, what are you like?!
0:03:15 > 0:03:17I'm only dicking around. I come in for a biscuit.
0:03:17 > 0:03:19- Where's them Penguins? - Cupboard over the kettle.
0:03:19 > 0:03:22They need to know what you wanna eat Saturday.
0:03:22 > 0:03:24- You looked at the menu? - Oh. What's the choices again?
0:03:24 > 0:03:28Chargrilled chicken, veggie option, fillet of bream.
0:03:31 > 0:03:34# Breams can come true
0:03:34 > 0:03:36# Look at me, babe. I'm with you
0:03:36 > 0:03:38# You know you got to have bream
0:03:38 > 0:03:41# You know you just got to have that bream. #
0:03:41 > 0:03:43Pam! That is comedy gold!
0:03:45 > 0:03:47I don't know where that came from!
0:03:48 > 0:03:51Listen, you. I've got to ask you a favour and it's serious.
0:03:51 > 0:03:54It's not that shower tray again, is it? I've sealed it four times.
0:03:54 > 0:03:56- Just buy a new one. - No, it's not about that.
0:03:56 > 0:03:58My stepbrother, John, can't make it.
0:03:58 > 0:04:00- His wife's broken both feet. - Broke her ankles.
0:04:00 > 0:04:04So I was wondering how you'd feel about giving me away.
0:04:05 > 0:04:06What?
0:04:06 > 0:04:10Don't have to. Theoretically, I don't need anyone. It's just a renewal.
0:04:10 > 0:04:13But I think it'd be nice and I'd like it if you did.
0:04:14 > 0:04:15HE CHOKES UP
0:04:18 > 0:04:19I'd love to, Dawn.
0:04:24 > 0:04:28Cor! Look at my baby girl. She's all grown up!
0:04:28 > 0:04:30Oh.
0:04:30 > 0:04:32Aw, sweetheart.
0:04:32 > 0:04:35- A whole year? - Yeah.
0:04:35 > 0:04:37- You been trying for the whole year? - Yeah.
0:04:37 > 0:04:40- Why? - Cos I really want a baby!
0:04:40 > 0:04:42And I just thought if I got pregnant,
0:04:42 > 0:04:44then Gav would definitely want to get a house,
0:04:44 > 0:04:46even if it was just renting somewhere.
0:04:46 > 0:04:47- So you planned it all? - Well, not exactly.
0:04:47 > 0:04:49Nothing happened, did it?
0:04:49 > 0:04:50That's very manipulative, Stace.
0:04:50 > 0:04:52Oh, shut up! You sound like Gav.
0:04:52 > 0:04:54- Well, he's got a point. - Ness!
0:04:54 > 0:04:56And you've gone down in my estimation.
0:04:56 > 0:04:59But what if I can't have kids? What if I'm like Karen down the road?
0:04:59 > 0:05:02- Barren Karen? - Yeah. What if I'm like her?
0:05:02 > 0:05:04Well, that's the hand that life has dealt you.
0:05:04 > 0:05:08- Maybe you need to think about getting one of them Chinese ones. - Like Angelina Jolie?
0:05:08 > 0:05:10Honestly, they're giving them away.
0:05:10 > 0:05:12It's not the same, though, is it?
0:05:12 > 0:05:15Strikes me you're not in a position to be fussy. Pass me the ball.
0:05:15 > 0:05:18- No, it's OK. - Come on. I'll do you a reading.
0:05:18 > 0:05:21- All right. But I'm not paying. - Shhh.
0:05:23 > 0:05:26- Is this actually crystal? - No.
0:05:26 > 0:05:29It's a paperweight. But what can you do?
0:05:29 > 0:05:31Times are hard, and there's a credit crunch on.
0:05:42 > 0:05:46Om om shabai. Om om shabai.
0:05:46 > 0:05:49Om om puri.
0:05:51 > 0:05:53Omid Djalili.
0:05:54 > 0:05:58- It's not looking good, Stace. - Why? What can you see? What's it saying?
0:05:58 > 0:06:01I don't know. It's bad news, whatever it is.
0:06:01 > 0:06:05- I can't be specific. But I should imagine you can't have kids.- Really?
0:06:05 > 0:06:06All right, sugar tits?
0:06:06 > 0:06:08Oh, sorry. I didn't know you were having a reading.
0:06:08 > 0:06:12That's all right. We're done. It was only a quickie.
0:06:12 > 0:06:14- Well, how long? - 15, 20 minutes.
0:06:14 > 0:06:15It wasn't that long.
0:06:15 > 0:06:17Fair enough. We'll call it a fiver and be done.
0:06:17 > 0:06:19I didn't even want a reading.
0:06:19 > 0:06:21In her defence, she did make it clear she wasn't paying.
0:06:21 > 0:06:24Oh, come on, Ness. We've got a business to run here.
0:06:24 > 0:06:28This wedding's costing a fortune. I've been pricing up the cake. Do we really need one?
0:06:28 > 0:06:30You can't get married without cutting a cake.
0:06:30 > 0:06:32I can take it or leave it, to be honest.
0:06:32 > 0:06:35Yeah, me too. They're having jelly. Let them make do with that.
0:06:35 > 0:06:37- Exactly. - I love weddings.
0:06:37 > 0:06:40I've never been to a renewal before, so that'll be fun.
0:06:40 > 0:06:41Ah, I could do without it, to be honest.
0:06:41 > 0:06:44I don't really understand why they've invited me.
0:06:44 > 0:06:45I know, Mum said the same.
0:06:45 > 0:06:47She said she could see why Bryn was going, cos of Pete,
0:06:47 > 0:06:49but Mum's hardly said two words to them.
0:06:49 > 0:06:51KNOCK AT DOOR
0:06:55 > 0:06:58- All right? - Yeah, all right. Be with you now.
0:06:58 > 0:07:01- Come on, Ness, we've got to get on. There's a queue forming.- Right.
0:07:01 > 0:07:03Stace, I'll see you Saturday up Essex.
0:07:03 > 0:07:04OK.
0:07:05 > 0:07:08Bring 'em on, Dave.
0:07:10 > 0:07:12Nice sheets, these, Gwen.
0:07:12 > 0:07:13I know. Dic Powell.
0:07:13 > 0:07:15He just knocked on the door.
0:07:15 > 0:07:18I mean, normally I send him away packing, but he made me feel them.
0:07:18 > 0:07:19And the minute I did, I said,
0:07:19 > 0:07:22"I don't know where they came from or where you got them,
0:07:22 > 0:07:24"but I'll take two sets - one for me, one for the kids."
0:07:24 > 0:07:26- GAVIN:- Hello, Gwen?
0:07:26 > 0:07:27- Hiya, were up here. - In the bedroom.
0:07:27 > 0:07:28- GAVIN:- OK.
0:07:28 > 0:07:31It's always a risk with Dic, but sometimes he comes up trumps.
0:07:31 > 0:07:33- Like Nessa's lawnmower. - Like the lawnmower.
0:07:33 > 0:07:35Hiya. Came back for some lunch. All right, Bryn?
0:07:35 > 0:07:37Look, you don't need to do that...
0:07:37 > 0:07:40Gavin, what else am I going to do? I'm kicking my heels in that house.
0:07:40 > 0:07:42Rattling around like a bubble in a can.
0:07:42 > 0:07:44He's at a loss since the boys went.
0:07:44 > 0:07:48I am. I miss them. That place has felt empty the past couple of weeks.
0:07:48 > 0:07:50- Great night, though, wasn't it? - Yeah, it was.
0:07:50 > 0:07:53I was mullered. Plastered I was, Gwen.
0:07:53 > 0:07:55I know. Reminded me of Trevor.
0:07:55 > 0:07:58I can't wait for the next one. Budgie said something about Reading?
0:07:58 > 0:07:59Did he?
0:07:59 > 0:08:01A night out in Reading, Budgie's brother or something?
0:08:01 > 0:08:04- Who, Magpie? - Yes! He's DJ-ing.
0:08:04 > 0:08:06Whatever it is, count me in.
0:08:06 > 0:08:09Right. Look, I'm gonna get something to eat.
0:08:09 > 0:08:11Stacey said you got your appointment sorted with the doctor.
0:08:11 > 0:08:13Did she? What, she told you?
0:08:13 > 0:08:17Yes. And for what it's worth, I think it's all going to be fine.
0:08:17 > 0:08:18That's what I said, Gav.
0:08:18 > 0:08:19Oh, right.
0:08:19 > 0:08:21I mean, I know Stacey said you'd been trying,
0:08:21 > 0:08:22but have you actually been trying?
0:08:22 > 0:08:24- What? - Well, that's what I wondered.
0:08:24 > 0:08:27I know you've been gunning it since you've been living back here,
0:08:27 > 0:08:29but what about all that time in Essex?
0:08:29 > 0:08:32They were regular at Pam and Mick's. Stacey said, course she did.
0:08:32 > 0:08:35But would you say you were relaxed whilst you were doing it
0:08:35 > 0:08:37or do you feel you're under pressure? Because -
0:08:37 > 0:08:40and I know Gwen will back me up - it's quality...
0:08:40 > 0:08:42- Not quantity. - ..not quantity...
0:08:42 > 0:08:45Bryn, this is... I don't really feel comfortable talking about this.
0:08:45 > 0:08:47I'm just gonna get a sandwich and go back to work
0:08:47 > 0:08:48and forget this conversation
0:08:48 > 0:08:52about sex with your daughter and your niece ever happened.
0:08:53 > 0:08:55Well, he's clearly very stressed, Gwen.
0:08:55 > 0:08:59I know. And that's not gonna do them any favours.
0:08:59 > 0:09:01We'll try Marks first.
0:09:01 > 0:09:05No, I'm not getting a suit from there. I wanna go Next or Topman or something.
0:09:05 > 0:09:08Neil, with respect, designer labels like them will not carry your size.
0:09:08 > 0:09:09Mum!
0:09:09 > 0:09:11I might be carrying a bit of timber,
0:09:11 > 0:09:14but I'm not, you know, Robbie Coltrane.
0:09:14 > 0:09:17You are heading that way, my love. Now, where's your sister?
0:09:17 > 0:09:19What? Rudi's coming?
0:09:19 > 0:09:20Yeah. I want another pair of eyes on it.
0:09:20 > 0:09:23I'm 28. I'm a dad. I've fathered a child.
0:09:23 > 0:09:26- Don't be coarse, Neil. - I can do it on my own, that's all.
0:09:26 > 0:09:27I just need you to lend me the money.
0:09:27 > 0:09:31I'm happy to buy you the suit. I'm glad you're getting it.
0:09:31 > 0:09:32- I'm proud of you. - That's a first.
0:09:32 > 0:09:35Oh, here she is. Ruth!
0:09:37 > 0:09:38All right?
0:09:38 > 0:09:41- Are those Heelys? - Yeah.
0:09:41 > 0:09:42- How old are you? - How old am I?
0:09:42 > 0:09:44You're buying clothes with your mum. How old are you?
0:09:44 > 0:09:46- Dick. - Douche.
0:09:46 > 0:09:49Will you please just give it a rest, the two of you?
0:09:49 > 0:09:51I'm at the point of exhaustion.
0:09:51 > 0:09:53My resources are almost entirely depleted.
0:09:53 > 0:09:54If you persist I shall simply go home.
0:09:54 > 0:09:57Good! That's absolutely fine.
0:09:57 > 0:09:59I don't need you here. Or you. I didn't ask either of you to come.
0:09:59 > 0:10:01I can buy a suit on my own, you know.
0:10:06 > 0:10:07SHE LAUGHS
0:10:07 > 0:10:09Oh, now, that does look nice.
0:10:10 > 0:10:12- You look really stupid. - I feel it.
0:10:12 > 0:10:15- You look an absolute tool. - Mum, will you tell her?
0:10:15 > 0:10:16- You do. - Ruth.
0:10:16 > 0:10:19Look like one of the Blues Brothers. The dead one.
0:10:19 > 0:10:20Right, one more comment.
0:10:20 > 0:10:23Make one more comment about me in this suit -
0:10:23 > 0:10:24or, in fact, just about me -
0:10:24 > 0:10:26and I will take off those Heelys...
0:10:26 > 0:10:27Look at me, look at me.
0:10:27 > 0:10:31I will take off those Heelys and I will stick them up your arse.
0:10:31 > 0:10:33OK?
0:10:33 > 0:10:37It's just a case of taking these up a couple of inches, that's all. They'll do that for you.
0:10:47 > 0:10:48Yeah, it's all right, isn't it?
0:10:48 > 0:10:51It is, actually...Pavarotti.
0:10:51 > 0:10:52- Right! - Argh!
0:10:52 > 0:10:54Get off!
0:10:54 > 0:10:57BOTH GRUNT AND YELL
0:10:57 > 0:10:58- RUDI:- Get off!
0:11:00 > 0:11:02Ow! I warned you.
0:11:03 > 0:11:05SHE HUMS "NESSUN DORMA"
0:11:05 > 0:11:08Shut up! Shut...up!
0:11:08 > 0:11:10- Argh! - No!
0:11:10 > 0:11:11No!
0:11:11 > 0:11:14Mum! Mum!
0:11:39 > 0:11:41Now, no need to be nervous, OK?
0:11:41 > 0:11:44I've got the results back
0:11:44 > 0:11:46and I'm afraid there is a problem.
0:11:46 > 0:11:48Oh, my God, it's me, isn't it?
0:11:48 > 0:11:50I'm just gonna come out and say it,
0:11:50 > 0:11:53the thing is, at times like this it's better to face up to the facts,
0:11:53 > 0:11:55sometimes it's easier to look at the negative,
0:11:55 > 0:11:57to not look beyond what's...
0:11:58 > 0:12:00This is a marathon, not a sprint,
0:12:00 > 0:12:02and there are all sort of options available.
0:12:02 > 0:12:05We just have to sit down calmly together and talk through what...
0:12:05 > 0:12:07When you said you're gonna come out...
0:12:07 > 0:12:09- It's you, Gavin. - What?
0:12:09 > 0:12:11You've got a low sperm count.
0:12:14 > 0:12:15Serious?
0:12:15 > 0:12:16Yes.
0:12:17 > 0:12:19Oh, my God.
0:12:19 > 0:12:21Shit!
0:12:47 > 0:12:50MICK: I mean, the whole thing's getting ridiculous.
0:12:50 > 0:12:55- Why? I think it's nice. - I'm his best man, for God's sake. He wants me to make a speech.
0:12:55 > 0:12:58And Smithy, giving Dawn away. I mean, please!
0:12:58 > 0:13:00She was given away 27 years ago.
0:13:00 > 0:13:02It's their day, Mick.
0:13:02 > 0:13:04They had their day in 1982.
0:13:04 > 0:13:06That's my point.
0:13:06 > 0:13:11I could understand if this was some loving union, but they're at each other's throats every five minutes.
0:13:11 > 0:13:14Well, ours is not to question while.
0:13:14 > 0:13:16- What? - Ours is not to question while.
0:13:16 > 0:13:18"Why". "Ours is not to question why."
0:13:18 > 0:13:22No, "while". It's not our place to ask questions while they're doing it.
0:13:22 > 0:13:23Amazing.
0:13:23 > 0:13:27What you said is completely wrong, and yet there's a logic to it.
0:13:27 > 0:13:30That's me, Michael. What you see is what you get.
0:13:30 > 0:13:35- Maybe we should renew our vows. - Don't even think about it.
0:13:37 > 0:13:39Come in, come in.
0:13:39 > 0:13:41Oh, sorry. You're still eating.
0:13:41 > 0:13:42It's all right.
0:13:42 > 0:13:45- Is Dawn not here yet? - No, she's on her way.
0:13:45 > 0:13:47Good, cos I wanted to show you something.
0:13:47 > 0:13:49I've just been to pick up my ring.
0:13:49 > 0:13:51We've chosen our own - you know, for tomorrow.
0:13:51 > 0:13:55Oh, that's nice. Cos then you get to wear something you like.
0:13:55 > 0:13:57You know, something you feel comfortable in, rather than...
0:13:57 > 0:13:59Oh, my Christ!
0:13:59 > 0:14:01Who d'you think you are? Puff Daddy?
0:14:02 > 0:14:05- Don't you like it? - I dunno.
0:14:05 > 0:14:06I don't know what to think, really.
0:14:06 > 0:14:09Oh, no, it's too much, isn't it?
0:14:09 > 0:14:11Where d'you get it, Sierra Leone?
0:14:11 > 0:14:13Take no notice. If you like it, that's all that matters.
0:14:13 > 0:14:16I've never had a decent ring before. I wanted to make a statement.
0:14:16 > 0:14:18You've certainly done that, mate.
0:14:18 > 0:14:21No, I mean a show of my love for Dawn.
0:14:21 > 0:14:23In that case you should've got a D on it, not a P.
0:14:23 > 0:14:26No, but that's the beauty of it.
0:14:27 > 0:14:30P, D.
0:14:30 > 0:14:33Pete, Dawn.
0:14:33 > 0:14:35Puff, Daddy.
0:14:35 > 0:14:38- KNOCKING - Oh, there she is!
0:14:42 > 0:14:45Welcome to the renewlywed.
0:14:45 > 0:14:48Don't! The people in the shop have been calling me that.
0:14:48 > 0:14:51Where is he? Where's my little gingerbread man?
0:14:53 > 0:14:57- Hello, my gorgeous girl. - Mmm.
0:15:00 > 0:15:01God, you two. Honestly!
0:15:01 > 0:15:05I'm in love, Mick, with my wife. Is that such a crime?
0:15:05 > 0:15:07Where's Stace and Gavin? Not here yet?
0:15:07 > 0:15:08No, we haven't heard from them.
0:15:08 > 0:15:11I think they're coming first thing tonight.
0:15:11 > 0:15:13Give them a ring, Mick, see what's happening.
0:15:13 > 0:15:14OK.
0:15:14 > 0:15:18- Hey, Dawn, got us a couple of films for tonight.- Have you?
0:15:18 > 0:15:20- Got Beaches... - Oh, I love that.
0:15:20 > 0:15:21...Breakfast At Tiffany's and Doubt.
0:15:21 > 0:15:23Doubt? Never heard of that.
0:15:23 > 0:15:24Oh, you will have done.
0:15:24 > 0:15:25Meryl Streep's this nun
0:15:25 > 0:15:28and the big strawberry-blond fella from Patch Adams is this priest,
0:15:28 > 0:15:31and he's been fiddling with the boys and giving them wine.
0:15:31 > 0:15:34Bloody hell, Pam, that sounds a barrel of laughs(!)
0:15:34 > 0:15:36I thought it was a fun, girly night. I brought face packs.
0:15:36 > 0:15:39No, thing is, Meryl Streep doesn't know if he's really fiddling.
0:15:39 > 0:15:41That's where the doubt lies.
0:15:41 > 0:15:42That's why it's called Doubt.
0:15:42 > 0:15:44MICK: Well, he's not picking up.
0:15:44 > 0:15:46You'll have to wait and see him tomorrow, then.
0:15:46 > 0:15:48Now, when are you two going? Cos we wanna get on.
0:15:48 > 0:15:51I dunno. But Pete, is this really necessary?
0:15:51 > 0:15:53- What d'you mean? - Staying at yours.
0:15:53 > 0:15:55I just wanna sleep in me own bed, mate.
0:15:55 > 0:15:58Oh, come on, Mick. This is my last night as a single man.
0:15:58 > 0:16:00I've booked a stripper.
0:16:00 > 0:16:01- You haven't! - You haven't!
0:16:01 > 0:16:03- He has. - I never had one, first time round.
0:16:03 > 0:16:05I thought it'd be fun.
0:16:05 > 0:16:07Just you, me and her on our own in your front room?
0:16:07 > 0:16:08That's a bit weird, innit, mate?
0:16:08 > 0:16:11Oh, live a little, Michael. It's only a stripper.
0:16:11 > 0:16:13It's not like she's a prossy or anything.
0:16:14 > 0:16:16Exactly.
0:16:17 > 0:16:19DOOR OPENS Oh, that'll be them.
0:16:19 > 0:16:20Oh, good.
0:16:21 > 0:16:25There he is, my little prince. And Stacey.
0:16:25 > 0:16:26- STACEY:- Hiya.
0:16:26 > 0:16:28- We didn't know when you were coming. - GAVIN:- Yeah, me too.
0:16:28 > 0:16:31- I just tried to ring you. - Yeah, I know.
0:16:31 > 0:16:33- You all right? - Yeah, yeah.
0:16:35 > 0:16:38- You excited about tomorrow? - Yeah.
0:16:38 > 0:16:42You wanna see 'em, Gav. They're like a couple of teenagers, aren't you?
0:16:42 > 0:16:44Yeah. So, how was the journey? All right?
0:16:44 > 0:16:45Yeah.
0:16:48 > 0:16:52And the job going OK, is it, Stace, at Marco's? Is it Marco's?
0:16:52 > 0:16:54Yeah. I like it.
0:16:55 > 0:16:58Well, don't just stand there. Come on in, come in.
0:16:58 > 0:17:01Actually, Mum, I'm not feeling too good. I've got a funny tummy.
0:17:01 > 0:17:03What, was it something you've eaten?
0:17:03 > 0:17:04Yeah. Look, I'm gonna go and lie down.
0:17:04 > 0:17:06Oh, all right.
0:17:06 > 0:17:08- Well, do you want anything? - No, thanks.
0:17:08 > 0:17:10- I'll be up now, Gav. - OK.
0:17:19 > 0:17:23Mick, we should really get going, cos she's arriving at half seven.
0:17:33 > 0:17:35SHE SIGHS
0:17:41 > 0:17:43Are you all right?
0:17:43 > 0:17:44Yeah.
0:17:45 > 0:17:47How long have you been awake?
0:17:48 > 0:17:51Dunno. Half an hour.
0:17:54 > 0:17:56Do you want a little cwtch?
0:17:57 > 0:17:58Yeah, go on, then.
0:18:02 > 0:18:04Hang on, you're supposed to be cwtching me.
0:18:04 > 0:18:07Oh. All right, then.
0:18:14 > 0:18:16You will be OK, Gav.
0:18:16 > 0:18:19There's things we can do, you know.
0:18:19 > 0:18:23Yeah. I know.
0:18:27 > 0:18:28SHE SIGHS
0:18:34 > 0:18:36Remember your blind spot, Bryn.
0:18:37 > 0:18:39Yes, thank you, David.
0:18:41 > 0:18:43Hey, Ness, they've got a sale in Mamas and Papas this week,
0:18:43 > 0:18:46and I think a lot of the stuff might fit Neil the Baby.
0:18:46 > 0:18:50DAVID: Bryn, come off next junction. There's an average speed check for ten miles.
0:18:50 > 0:18:53You'll save yourself a good 20 minutes. The A-road...
0:18:53 > 0:18:55Yes, thank you, David, but I'll stick with what I know.
0:18:57 > 0:18:59- Suit yourself. You're the driver. - Yes, I am.
0:19:01 > 0:19:05You might wanna move over. We got a joker behind us. I think he's in a bit of a rush.
0:19:07 > 0:19:09Bryn, he's flashing his lights.
0:19:09 > 0:19:11Thank you, Mr Clarkson.
0:19:11 > 0:19:13I am fully aware of the driver in question,
0:19:13 > 0:19:15and am merely demonstrating to him
0:19:15 > 0:19:17that he cannot bully his way along the motorway,
0:19:17 > 0:19:19pushing myself and others out of the way.
0:19:19 > 0:19:23I am driving at the maximum speed limit of 70 miles an hour.
0:19:23 > 0:19:26If he doesn't like it, he can move to Germany and drive on the Autobahn.
0:19:26 > 0:19:27All right, I'm just saying.
0:19:27 > 0:19:29Well, don't. Leave the man alone, all right?
0:19:29 > 0:19:31Look, I drive for a living. I know these roads.
0:19:31 > 0:19:32Yes, I know these roads!
0:19:32 > 0:19:35I have driven to Billericay over seven times.
0:19:35 > 0:19:39I know you've got a bus and I know it's bigger than my Picasso,
0:19:39 > 0:19:41- but I'm just trying... - Come on, now. Let's not have a row.
0:19:41 > 0:19:43- I'm not rowing. - You are. You're belligerent.
0:19:43 > 0:19:47I tell you what - let's have a bit of music and all just calm down.
0:19:48 > 0:19:51Good idea, Gwen.
0:19:51 > 0:19:53MUSIC: "Smack My Bitch Up" by The Prodigy
0:19:53 > 0:19:54BABY CRIES
0:19:54 > 0:19:56MUSIC STOPS
0:19:56 > 0:19:57BABY CRIES
0:19:59 > 0:20:01When you try your best but you don't succeed,
0:20:01 > 0:20:04When you get what you want but not what you need,
0:20:04 > 0:20:07When you feel so tired but you can't sleep,
0:20:07 > 0:20:08Stuck in reverse.
0:20:08 > 0:20:11Lights will gu-i-ide you home,
0:20:11 > 0:20:13And ign-i-i-ite your bones...
0:20:13 > 0:20:17- No. What are you doing? - It's my vows. It's Coldplay.
0:20:17 > 0:20:21Yeah, I know. But don't say it like you're singing a song.
0:20:21 > 0:20:23Just say, "Lights will guide you home and ignite your bones."
0:20:23 > 0:20:26That's what I said. "Lights will gu-i-ide..."
0:20:26 > 0:20:29No, you did it again! Don't elongate. Say "guide".
0:20:29 > 0:20:31Guide. Ignite.
0:20:31 > 0:20:32Look, it'll be fine. It'll be fine.
0:20:32 > 0:20:35Let's just do it again from the top, all right?
0:20:35 > 0:20:38"Lights will guide you home and ignite your bones."
0:20:38 > 0:20:42Lights will gui-i-i-i-ide you home...
0:20:42 > 0:20:43- No! - Hiya.
0:20:43 > 0:20:45- Hiya. - How was last night? The stripper.
0:20:45 > 0:20:47- It was horrific. - She was brilliant.
0:20:47 > 0:20:50- Pete, she was filthy. - I know!
0:20:50 > 0:20:52No! She actually was dirty!
0:20:52 > 0:20:54- Nice. - Well, I enjoyed it.
0:20:54 > 0:20:56- Hiya! - Hiya!
0:20:56 > 0:20:57How are you feeling?
0:20:57 > 0:21:01Oh, you know. Bit nervous.
0:21:01 > 0:21:02See you in there.
0:21:04 > 0:21:05What's he got to be nervous about?
0:21:05 > 0:21:07I don't understand why we're here, to be honest.
0:21:07 > 0:21:09Hiya.
0:21:09 > 0:21:12I've been trying to ring you. What's happening with the quack?
0:21:12 > 0:21:14- What's occurring? - I'll tell you later.
0:21:14 > 0:21:15Hiya!
0:21:15 > 0:21:17Gav.
0:21:17 > 0:21:19- When are you heading back west? - What?
0:21:19 > 0:21:21- To Barry. - Dunno, really.
0:21:21 > 0:21:23Well, when you go, would you please do me a favour
0:21:23 > 0:21:25and take that bloody bus driver with you?
0:21:25 > 0:21:27He is doing my head in.
0:21:29 > 0:21:33So was he fiddling with the boys? The vicar - the priest?
0:21:33 > 0:21:36- Well, we don't know. - But I need to know.
0:21:36 > 0:21:39Cos I actually quite liked him, that guy from The Boat That Rocked.
0:21:39 > 0:21:41- Philip Dustin Hoffman? - Yeah.
0:21:41 > 0:21:44But if he's been fiddling with boys, then obviously I wanna hate him.
0:21:44 > 0:21:48But that is the point, Dawn. There's doubt. That's why it's called Doubt.
0:21:48 > 0:21:49KNOCK AT DOOR
0:21:49 > 0:21:50We all ready to go?
0:21:50 > 0:21:53Right. I'll go on in, then.
0:21:57 > 0:21:59Come on.
0:22:06 > 0:22:09MUISC: "Flower Duet" from Lakme by Deblies
0:22:20 > 0:22:24- Take good care of her, Pete. - I will, Neil. I won't let you down.
0:22:30 > 0:22:32Please be seated.
0:22:33 > 0:22:36We're gathered here today to celebrate the 26-year marriage
0:22:36 > 0:22:39of Dawn and Peter Sutcliffe.
0:22:39 > 0:22:41To mark that anniversary,
0:22:41 > 0:22:44Dawn and Peter have chosen to renew their vows
0:22:44 > 0:22:49before you, their dearest family and their closest friends.
0:22:51 > 0:22:54Tears stream down your face.
0:22:54 > 0:22:57I promise I will learn from my mistakes.
0:22:57 > 0:23:01Lights will guide you home,
0:23:01 > 0:23:04and ignite your bones.
0:23:04 > 0:23:07And I will try...
0:23:07 > 0:23:09to fix you.
0:23:10 > 0:23:14And now, Dawn, would you please make your renewal vows to Peter?
0:23:22 > 0:23:24Pete,
0:23:24 > 0:23:26the two of us need look no more.
0:23:28 > 0:23:30We both found what we were looking for.
0:23:31 > 0:23:34With a friend to call my own, I'll never be alone.
0:23:34 > 0:23:36And you, my friend, will see,
0:23:36 > 0:23:38you've got a friend in me.
0:23:40 > 0:23:43Pete, you're always running here and there.
0:23:45 > 0:23:46You feel you're not wanted anywhere.
0:23:48 > 0:23:52If you ever look behind, and don't like what you find,
0:23:52 > 0:23:54there's one thing you should know -
0:23:54 > 0:23:55you got a place to go.
0:23:57 > 0:24:00I used to say "I" and "me".
0:24:00 > 0:24:03Now it's "us". Now it's "we".
0:24:03 > 0:24:07I used to say "I" and "me".
0:24:07 > 0:24:10Now it's "us", and now it's "we".
0:24:11 > 0:24:13Pete,
0:24:13 > 0:24:16most people would turn you away.
0:24:17 > 0:24:19I don't listen to a word they say.
0:24:19 > 0:24:22They don't see you as I do.
0:24:22 > 0:24:25I wish they'd try to.
0:24:25 > 0:24:27I'm sure they'd think again
0:24:27 > 0:24:29If they had a friend...like Pete.
0:24:31 > 0:24:33- OFFICIAL:- Thank you, Dawn.
0:24:33 > 0:24:36Peter and Dawn's children are going to present the eternity rings.
0:24:36 > 0:24:39So Fiona and Alex, if you'd like to step forward.
0:24:39 > 0:24:43Pete, if you'd like to take the eternity ring and place it on Dawn's finger
0:24:43 > 0:24:49as a token sign of your renewed commitment and love.
0:24:52 > 0:24:54I love you, Dawn.
0:24:55 > 0:24:57I love you so much.
0:24:58 > 0:25:03And Dawn, if you'd like to take Pete's eternity ring and do the same.
0:25:04 > 0:25:06Bloody hell, Pete!
0:25:06 > 0:25:08How much did that cost?
0:25:09 > 0:25:11140 quid.
0:25:11 > 0:25:13Oh, it's disgusting.
0:25:14 > 0:25:16Have you seen this?
0:25:22 > 0:25:25- You look ridiculous. - I'm sorry.
0:25:25 > 0:25:30- OFFICIAL:- You may now seal your vows of renewal with a kiss.
0:25:46 > 0:25:49I didn't mean it to come out like that. I was just so shocked.
0:25:49 > 0:25:51It is horrible, though, Dawn.
0:25:51 > 0:25:54It's what I'd call gaudy. It's gauche.
0:25:54 > 0:25:57But that aside, it really was a lovely service.
0:25:57 > 0:25:59- Thank you, Gwyn.- Gwen.- Gwen.
0:26:01 > 0:26:03You just assume you're gonna be all right.
0:26:03 > 0:26:06Like it's a foregone conclusion that you can have kids.
0:26:06 > 0:26:10But how low? I mean, how low is low? What you gonna do?
0:26:10 > 0:26:12I dunno. I mean, there's loads of options.
0:26:12 > 0:26:14- Sperm donor. - Right.
0:26:14 > 0:26:16OK. I get it.
0:26:16 > 0:26:19- What?- I know what you're saying. I'll do it.
0:26:19 > 0:26:21- Smithy. - I'll have sex with Stacey.
0:26:21 > 0:26:23- You don't understand. - I'll do it for you.
0:26:23 > 0:26:27Call me stupid, call me crazy,
0:26:27 > 0:26:28but I love you.
0:26:28 > 0:26:30I'll do it. You're my best friend.
0:26:30 > 0:26:32I'd do it for any of my friends, really.
0:26:32 > 0:26:35Maybe not Dirtbox. That isn't racist. We just don't click, me and her.
0:26:35 > 0:26:39- Mate, it's not what this is about. - Clearly, I've got strong swimmers.
0:26:39 > 0:26:41Right? And listen to me.
0:26:41 > 0:26:43I promise you this.
0:26:43 > 0:26:46I guarantee you, Stacey will not enjoy it.
0:26:46 > 0:26:48You can watch if you like, just to make sure,
0:26:48 > 0:26:52but she will get next to no pleasure from it, and that's because she loves you.
0:26:52 > 0:26:54- But I don't want you to. - Of course you don't.
0:26:54 > 0:26:55Why would you?
0:26:55 > 0:26:58Christ, I'd hate it if anyone slept with Lucy.
0:26:58 > 0:27:00Though apparently half the Boys' Brigade have.
0:27:00 > 0:27:02I just have to believe it isn't true.
0:27:02 > 0:27:06Oh, Gav. Bryn says me and Ness are coming back with you. Is that right?
0:27:06 > 0:27:08Yeah, if you like. There's room in the car.
0:27:08 > 0:27:11OK. Well, we're sort of ready to make a move, to be honest.
0:27:11 > 0:27:13- What, now? - Yeah, if you don't mind.
0:27:13 > 0:27:15Well, no. We weren't gonna go yet. We were gonna stay for a bit.
0:27:15 > 0:27:17Yeah, fair enough. We'll get the train.
0:27:17 > 0:27:18What?
0:27:18 > 0:27:21It's not really my scene. I don't know what I'm doing here.
0:27:21 > 0:27:25Hang on a minute. This is supposed to be my time with Neil. I've barely seen him.
0:27:25 > 0:27:28Yeah, I know. But the thing is, I got a long drive tomorrow.
0:27:28 > 0:27:30I got a school party going the Chair Museum in High Wycombe.
0:27:30 > 0:27:33So it's just easier for us to go back now.
0:27:33 > 0:27:35Well, whether it's easier or not isn't the point.
0:27:35 > 0:27:38It's supposed to be my time with my son. Nessa, you can understand that.
0:27:38 > 0:27:39- I know. - Of course we can.
0:27:39 > 0:27:41Maybe next weekend you can have more time with him.
0:27:41 > 0:27:42It'd just be better for me...
0:27:42 > 0:27:45I don't care if it's better for you or not. It's nothing to do with you.
0:27:45 > 0:27:47It's none of your business. Nessa, come on.
0:27:47 > 0:27:50What do you mean? The kid lives in my house.
0:27:50 > 0:27:51Caravan. Nessa...
0:27:51 > 0:27:55- Oh. Don't talk to her like I'm not here. - This is our son. Mine and hers.
0:27:55 > 0:27:57- Well, I'm his stepdad. - No, you're not.
0:27:57 > 0:27:59- You're her boyfriend. - I'm her fiance!
0:27:59 > 0:28:01And we're getting married on June 13th.
0:28:01 > 0:28:03- It'll all change then. - Will it?
0:28:03 > 0:28:05- It's gonna change, is it? - Yeah.
0:28:05 > 0:28:08Right. Well, best of luck with that. The whole marriage thing.
0:28:08 > 0:28:09I really hope it works out,
0:28:09 > 0:28:13given me and her woke up in bed together last time she came here without you.
0:28:15 > 0:28:16What?!
0:28:18 > 0:28:23# Tell me tomorrow I'll wait by the window for you
0:28:28 > 0:28:32# I'll wait by your big house for you
0:28:36 > 0:28:41# I'll wait by the squeezebox for you. #
0:28:41 > 0:28:44Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:28:44 > 0:28:47E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk