0:00:02 > 0:00:07- Ian and Joanna, we play hard over here.- Yeah.
0:00:07 > 0:00:11And the way we're going to beat you tonight,
0:00:11 > 0:00:13it's going to seem like we hate you.
0:00:14 > 0:00:15- We don't.- No.
0:00:17 > 0:00:24This programme contains some strong language
0:00:43 > 0:00:46CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:00:54 > 0:00:57Good evening. Welcome to Have I Got News For You.
0:00:57 > 0:00:58I'm Jo Brand.
0:00:58 > 0:01:01In the news this week, in the gardens at Balmoral
0:01:01 > 0:01:05there are suspicions the sculptor may have run off with the cash
0:01:05 > 0:01:08as the Queen unveils a statue of her favourite corgi.
0:01:16 > 0:01:20Olympic news, and in East London, cycling officials test out
0:01:20 > 0:01:23the new system to discourage false starts.
0:01:29 > 0:01:32And on Falklands TV, the breakfast show with Mike and Denise
0:01:32 > 0:01:34gets off to an uncertain start
0:01:34 > 0:01:36when Denise turns up late.
0:01:51 > 0:01:55On Ian's team tonight is one of my fellow writer-performers
0:01:55 > 0:01:57on the BBC sitcom Getting On,
0:01:57 > 0:02:00in which she plays a senior figure to me. Not tonight, love.
0:02:00 > 0:02:04Please welcome Joanna Scanlan.
0:02:04 > 0:02:05CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:02:09 > 0:02:12And with Paul tonight is a comedian who says some evenings
0:02:12 > 0:02:15he'll eat pasta, ribs, beef, doughnuts and chocolate cake.
0:02:15 > 0:02:20Yes, I agree, it's nice to snack while you're waiting for the pizza.
0:02:20 > 0:02:22Please welcome Reginald D Hunter.
0:02:22 > 0:02:25CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:02:27 > 0:02:30And we start with the biggest stories of the week.
0:02:30 > 0:02:32Ian and Jo, take a look at this.
0:02:32 > 0:02:36Oh, yes. Cameron. "Trust me, I'm a spin doctor."
0:02:36 > 0:02:38Yes. Ministering angel, Mr Cameron.
0:02:38 > 0:02:40"I'm about to be fired. Ha!"
0:02:40 > 0:02:42Pretty, though.
0:02:42 > 0:02:45That's someone trying to see their GP.
0:02:47 > 0:02:50"Oh, dear. Which lock is it? The top, bottom, the, uh...?"
0:02:50 > 0:02:54Yeah, this is special reduction on sentences.
0:02:54 > 0:02:57- You get half...- In pantomime. - In panto, yes!
0:02:57 > 0:03:00Well, it's been a bad week, all round, for the Government.
0:03:00 > 0:03:03- Yeah.- And they're now ahead of Labour in the polls.
0:03:03 > 0:03:06Can you imagine if they were doing badly?!
0:03:06 > 0:03:09They're dithering. There's a lot of dithering been happening all week,
0:03:09 > 0:03:13whether it's health, crime, the judges and the judicial system,
0:03:13 > 0:03:16they don't know whether to, you know, buy the Louboutins
0:03:16 > 0:03:21or the Jimmy Choos, they're becoming very, uh, I don't know,
0:03:21 > 0:03:24female, in the sense that they're changing their minds quite a bit.
0:03:24 > 0:03:26That's quite sexist.
0:03:27 > 0:03:30She might say something different in a minute.
0:03:32 > 0:03:36I did read something this week saying that it was all to be blamed
0:03:36 > 0:03:38on Tony Blair's autobiography.
0:03:38 > 0:03:42Which they had read, and realised that they should have got in early,
0:03:42 > 0:03:43that Tony felt, retrospectively,
0:03:43 > 0:03:47- he hadn't gone in early enough... - Absolutely.- ..and changed policies.
0:03:47 > 0:03:49That's right. They felt they should emulate Blair,
0:03:49 > 0:03:51except do it quicker.
0:03:51 > 0:03:54So don't wait a couple of years for a useless war, go straight in early!
0:03:54 > 0:03:59Uh, reform the system? Try it, give up, do a u-turn, and say, "Sorry."
0:03:59 > 0:04:01And the process upset the Archbishop of Canterbury.
0:04:01 > 0:04:04Yes, he's come out on the side of the poor.
0:04:04 > 0:04:06That'll get him in trouble!
0:04:06 > 0:04:08"What does he think he's there for?
0:04:08 > 0:04:11"Stick to talking about gays and women!"
0:04:11 > 0:04:14DELAYED LAUGHTER
0:04:14 > 0:04:17"Stop interfering in politics! Oooh!"
0:04:17 > 0:04:20I don't know who this is an impression of at the moment.
0:04:20 > 0:04:23It's not Alan Bennett - that we know!
0:04:23 > 0:04:29Regarding the NHS health reforms, David Cameron said he was going to pause, engage,
0:04:29 > 0:04:31reflect and listen.
0:04:31 > 0:04:33I do the same thing when I'm on the toilet.
0:04:36 > 0:04:40You might be able to help me out with this question, then.
0:04:40 > 0:04:42- Anything for YOU, Jo.- Ooh!
0:04:42 > 0:04:46I'm so glad we're back on that footing already, Reg.
0:04:46 > 0:04:49- Having paused...- Would you like the rest of us to leave?
0:04:49 > 0:04:54- Me and Reg... - If you think that gon' help.
0:04:54 > 0:04:57Me and Reg would like the rest of you to WATCH.
0:05:02 > 0:05:04Now I can't get it out of my head.
0:05:05 > 0:05:07It's gone. It's gone.
0:05:07 > 0:05:11Anyway, having paused, engaged, reflected and listened for two months now,
0:05:11 > 0:05:13what's he gone and done?
0:05:13 > 0:05:16He's decided to re-write the whole reform package.
0:05:16 > 0:05:22He's changed quite a lot of it and the man who wrote it - poor old Lansley - has been hung out to dry.
0:05:22 > 0:05:27He says he's unveiled five pledges concerning the NHS.
0:05:27 > 0:05:30- Anyone know what they are?- Pledge one - it'll still be called the NHS.
0:05:30 > 0:05:32No, his first pledge about the NHS was...
0:05:36 > 0:05:42..which is obviously reassuring. The others are a bit dull so I won't bother to read them.
0:05:42 > 0:05:46They're not THAT dull. They're quite encouraging if you USE the service.
0:05:46 > 0:05:48- Maybe it's just that dull people like them.- Yeah.
0:05:51 > 0:05:55I'm not being horrible. I love dullness. You should meet my husband.
0:05:55 > 0:06:00Compared to him, Ian seems like the Great Bambino, whoever that is.
0:06:00 > 0:06:02The Great Bambino?
0:06:04 > 0:06:09- With the white tights and silvery waistcoat?- I've no idea, I just made him up.
0:06:09 > 0:06:13- I did, too. I'm adding flesh to the figure.- Yes.
0:06:13 > 0:06:17- He told NHS workers... - The Great Bambino did?
0:06:17 > 0:06:21I thought he was a fictional character. Now he's advising the Government on the NHS?
0:06:21 > 0:06:24Politics moves quickly in this country!
0:06:24 > 0:06:26He'll be Prime Minister next!
0:06:26 > 0:06:31You're right - it was Cameron. ..told NHS workers at University College Hospital, London
0:06:31 > 0:06:34that he learnt a lot during the pause. What has he learnt?
0:06:34 > 0:06:40That it's going to be OK privatising NHS, cos he did a bang-up job with the trains.
0:06:41 > 0:06:46He's learnt that he wants to keep his targets. Isn't that one of his other things?
0:06:46 > 0:06:52- People actually like that fact... - Yes.- ..it's only 18 weeks waiting... - Oh, indeed.- ..before you...
0:06:52 > 0:06:53Die.
0:06:54 > 0:06:57To find out if you're pregnant?
0:06:59 > 0:07:0218 weeks to find out.
0:07:02 > 0:07:07What did Andrew Lansley - the minister responsible for the proposals - say this week?
0:07:07 > 0:07:10Was he pausing and looking and learning and reflecting?
0:07:10 > 0:07:11No, he's actually...
0:07:13 > 0:07:14..which will be...
0:07:20 > 0:07:22- Sounds great.- I was wondering
0:07:22 > 0:07:27if anyone's got advice for Mr Lansley as he attempts to put a pathway into an envelope.
0:07:28 > 0:07:32Jo, you're quite familiar with the workings of the NHS,
0:07:32 > 0:07:36- having co-written and starred in... - Having pretended to be a nurse.
0:07:36 > 0:07:41- You get picked as a nurse quite a lot, don't you?- It's because I'm fat. It's as simple as that.
0:07:41 > 0:07:44I'll have to give it a quick mention again. ..in Getting On.
0:07:44 > 0:07:50- Yes.- Set in a medical ward for the elderly.- Are we allowed to do product placement?
0:07:50 > 0:07:52It's not a product, Ian, it's a work of art.
0:07:54 > 0:07:58APPLAUSE
0:07:58 > 0:08:02Didn't you win a BAFTA recently for Best Female Comedy Performance?
0:08:02 > 0:08:04Oh, no, sorry, that was me.
0:08:04 > 0:08:07APPLAUSE
0:08:07 > 0:08:08- Sorry.- Forgiven!
0:08:08 > 0:08:13Before we leave the NHS behind, can we please have a look at a man
0:08:13 > 0:08:16who, negotiating some steps outside the Savoy Hotel in London,
0:08:16 > 0:08:19was lucky not to end up in A&E?
0:08:21 > 0:08:22Oh, here we go...
0:08:22 > 0:08:25- Ooh. - AUDIENCE: Ooh!
0:08:25 > 0:08:28I think he's going to hit that thing at the bottom.
0:08:28 > 0:08:31He's going to hit that yellow thing. Go on...
0:08:34 > 0:08:37And you're saying this is Boris Johnson?
0:08:37 > 0:08:40Go on, hit the yellow thing, hit the yellow thing.
0:08:40 > 0:08:42AUDIENCE GROAN AND CHEER
0:08:45 > 0:08:47Don't worry, he was fine.
0:08:47 > 0:08:51Shall we join him as he continues his journey home?
0:08:51 > 0:08:54To put your minds at rest, I know you'll be worrying,
0:08:54 > 0:08:56yes, he does fall over again.
0:09:15 > 0:09:20He seems to be being chased by the Sun newspaper!
0:09:20 > 0:09:23It's lowered his IQ so much, he's forgotten how to walk.
0:09:24 > 0:09:27How does the Sun get the copyright on CCTV footage?
0:09:27 > 0:09:30I expect it has a relationship with the police.
0:09:30 > 0:09:33Or Satan.
0:09:33 > 0:09:34They'll take that out.
0:09:36 > 0:09:41Back to politics. Where else has the Government made a U-turn this week?
0:09:41 > 0:09:44- Sentencing?- Indeed. Please enlarge.
0:09:44 > 0:09:46- Um, they were going... - LAUGHTER
0:09:48 > 0:09:49Honestly! I...
0:09:49 > 0:09:51Really, you're going to sit there
0:09:51 > 0:09:53and act like you don't know what you did?!
0:09:55 > 0:09:57APPLAUSE
0:09:57 > 0:10:03Controversial changes to sentencing laws including halving sentences in return for a guilty plea...
0:10:03 > 0:10:05- Yes.- ..are to be shelved
0:10:05 > 0:10:09after a meeting between David Cameron and Justice Secretary Kenneth Clarke.
0:10:09 > 0:10:12The suspicion is that it's cos it costs a lot of money
0:10:12 > 0:10:14to keep people in prison.
0:10:14 > 0:10:19And so, um, people thought, "Why should we just go and have justice on the cheap?"
0:10:19 > 0:10:22So Cameron's changed his mind. People didn't like it.
0:10:22 > 0:10:26And Ed Miliband said, in the Commons, "You've changed your mind.
0:10:26 > 0:10:29"And quite right, cos I didn't agree either."
0:10:29 > 0:10:32Which is an amazing debating point.
0:10:33 > 0:10:36Well, he did accuse David Cameron of overseeing...
0:10:38 > 0:10:39To be honest, he's not wrong.
0:10:42 > 0:10:44Jedward's dad!
0:10:46 > 0:10:50The one that I'm confused about is the one where they're hammering down in the dawn raid.
0:10:50 > 0:10:53- Yeah, that's a rather silly story. - Yeah?
0:10:53 > 0:10:57The police went round to smash into someone's flat in London,
0:10:57 > 0:10:58and Boris decided to go as well.
0:10:58 > 0:11:00DCI Johnson!
0:11:01 > 0:11:03He's got his own series.
0:11:03 > 0:11:07- Do you want to...?- A maverick cop, with a slightly dodgy private life.
0:11:08 > 0:11:11- He cycles, that's the...- He cycles! Oh, that's brilliant.
0:11:11 > 0:11:16"I'd better do some house-to-house investigations. I might be some time...
0:11:16 > 0:11:19- "Particularly number 43..." - MUMBLES LIKE BORIS JOHNSON
0:11:19 > 0:11:24Reg, would you like to see Boris doing a drug raid with the police?
0:11:24 > 0:11:26- Yes, ma'am.- Here we go.
0:11:28 > 0:11:29PAUL LAUGHS
0:11:31 > 0:11:34He went in, and there was a bloke in there who was being arrested.
0:11:34 > 0:11:38He saw Boris and said, "What the f... are you doing here?!"
0:11:38 > 0:11:40"What the fuck are you doing here."
0:11:40 > 0:11:43- I think that's what he said. - I don't want to come across all Wayne Rooney.
0:11:46 > 0:11:48Get yourself down Harley Street then, mate!
0:11:52 > 0:11:54What can police officers do to make
0:11:54 > 0:11:58their day-to-day lives more entertaining, both for them and us?
0:11:58 > 0:12:00- Comedy sirens.- Like?
0:12:00 > 0:12:04There was that camp one that was introduced about 25 years ago
0:12:04 > 0:12:06they had to drop after a while cos it was...
0:12:06 > 0:12:08MAKES CAMP SIREN NOISE
0:12:10 > 0:12:12A confused woman, erm...
0:12:14 > 0:12:15trying to buy some Kit Kat.
0:12:15 > 0:12:20- You keep saying crazy stuff, she's going to take the points from us. - Yeah!
0:12:20 > 0:12:23One thing the police could do is,
0:12:23 > 0:12:27they could be a little more like this policeman we're about to see
0:12:27 > 0:12:29directing traffic in the Philippines.
0:12:40 > 0:12:43So, Freddie Mercury ain't dead.
0:12:43 > 0:12:48- And finally, in foreign vegetable news...- Yes!
0:12:48 > 0:12:52..what has Spanish Euro MP Francisco Sosa-Wagner
0:12:52 > 0:12:55- had to say about cucumbers? - They're safe.
0:12:55 > 0:12:57Aren't they suing Germany?
0:12:57 > 0:13:00The German health authority keeps getting the wrong vegetable.
0:13:00 > 0:13:02He's very angry, isn't he?
0:13:02 > 0:13:04- He's livid.- He's furious.
0:13:04 > 0:13:07One minute it's Spanish cucumbers, the next it's German bean sprouts.
0:13:07 > 0:13:11He was in the European Parliament, holding up a cucumber
0:13:11 > 0:13:15beside his head, waving it like a phallic weapon.
0:13:15 > 0:13:18As if by magic, here he is.
0:13:23 > 0:13:27REGINALD: "From this day forward, this will never go in a salad."
0:13:27 > 0:13:30The only thing that I think is unpleasant about cucumbers is
0:13:30 > 0:13:34they always used to use them in sex lessons, just put a condom on.
0:13:34 > 0:13:37- Yeah, a demo. - Anyone else do that?
0:13:37 > 0:13:39Ruins the taste.
0:13:41 > 0:13:43So, this is the NHS reforms.
0:13:43 > 0:13:45There have also been reforms in Britain's policing.
0:13:45 > 0:13:49The new National Crime Agency is replacing the much-maligned...
0:13:52 > 0:13:57Which was, at least, an improvement on the Frivolous Organised Crime Agency.
0:13:57 > 0:14:02The Serious Organised Crime Agency has listed various achievements in its defence, saying...
0:14:05 > 0:14:09Though that's largely down to Charlie Sheen switching to heroin.
0:14:11 > 0:14:13- Paul and Reg, here's yours. - All right.
0:14:14 > 0:14:17Right, this is, er... Oh, yes.
0:14:17 > 0:14:19This is Wayne Rooney, and he's had a...
0:14:19 > 0:14:23That's him before. That's how he used to be.
0:14:23 > 0:14:25And um, that's... I don't know where that is.
0:14:29 > 0:14:33- Oh, yeah.- That's the cheap alternative when he was in Sly And The Family Stone.
0:14:35 > 0:14:37It's about his hair transplant.
0:14:37 > 0:14:40It may be a hair transplant. It looks a bit like crop circles.
0:14:40 > 0:14:43Perhaps he's planting crops and growing a full head of wheat.
0:14:43 > 0:14:45You're looking at me as if I'm mad, Reg.
0:14:45 > 0:14:49He's growing wheat on his head so he can feed his children.
0:14:49 > 0:14:52I'm looking at you like we ain't gon' win.
0:14:53 > 0:14:55APPLAUSE
0:14:55 > 0:14:57I'll revise my answer.
0:14:57 > 0:15:00- This is Wayne Rooney, who this week had a hair transplant.- Thank you.
0:15:02 > 0:15:05- Do you know how the operation actually works?- Yeah.
0:15:05 > 0:15:08They find the hairs on his arse and pull 'em all the way through.
0:15:10 > 0:15:12I knew it. I knew it.
0:15:14 > 0:15:17He found a donor, but unfortunately, it was Bobby Charlton.
0:15:18 > 0:15:23Apparently, what they do is dig out the hair follicles
0:15:23 > 0:15:25from a place on his body where hair is still growing
0:15:25 > 0:15:28- and stick them on his head.- Exactly.
0:15:28 > 0:15:30Jo, give us a point.
0:15:31 > 0:15:33You've just got a point for that.
0:15:33 > 0:15:37All right. Here, Reg. Here's another question for you.
0:15:37 > 0:15:39Get this right, you might get another point.
0:15:39 > 0:15:42How much did the operation apparently cost?
0:15:42 > 0:15:46In the future, when you ask questions, can you leave out the sarcasm?
0:15:52 > 0:15:54We're trying to win here!
0:15:56 > 0:15:59You can do something about your tone, too!
0:16:01 > 0:16:05A teacher's salary. 30,000.
0:16:05 > 0:16:0930 grand. How did the news leak out that Wayne had had a weave?
0:16:09 > 0:16:11He tweeted on Twitter.
0:16:11 > 0:16:15He showed his bonce, his arse bonce, to the world.
0:16:15 > 0:16:18His bum-head was displayed.
0:16:19 > 0:16:23Indeed, he took a picture of the top of his head and put it on Twitter.
0:16:23 > 0:16:24There he is, old bottom-nut.
0:16:26 > 0:16:28Not bad, but he was actually trying to take a picture
0:16:28 > 0:16:30of a dog having a shit.
0:16:32 > 0:16:33What, in his car?!
0:16:34 > 0:16:39And what did his message that accompanied the picture say?
0:16:39 > 0:16:42"My head feel great, but my ass hurt a little bit."
0:16:44 > 0:16:46APPLAUSE
0:16:46 > 0:16:49I wish it had. It said -
0:16:52 > 0:16:55Would you like to see what Wayne's head has looked like over the years?
0:16:55 > 0:16:58Er, I think, on balance, probably yes.
0:16:59 > 0:17:01REG: He don't need no hair there.
0:17:01 > 0:17:03Oh, he needs hair there.
0:17:03 > 0:17:05Yeah, boy.
0:17:05 > 0:17:07Oh, it's coming back.
0:17:07 > 0:17:08He needs some help.
0:17:13 > 0:17:14That's an aerial shot, right?
0:17:16 > 0:17:20How would you describe Wayne's old hairstyle?
0:17:20 > 0:17:22Defunct? Gone?
0:17:22 > 0:17:25Technically it's known as a widow's peak which usually,
0:17:25 > 0:17:27for Wayne, is around 75.
0:17:30 > 0:17:34- Who encouraged Wayne to start using Twitter?- Ryan Giggs!
0:17:38 > 0:17:39It must be!
0:17:41 > 0:17:44You got to give us two for that one, baby.
0:17:44 > 0:17:48- It don't matter if it ain't true! - Rio Ferdinand.
0:17:48 > 0:17:50It was Rio Ferdinand,
0:17:50 > 0:17:54who actually recently came top of a survey to find the footballer
0:17:54 > 0:17:56with the poorest vocabulary on Twitter.
0:17:56 > 0:18:02What are the major commercial ramifications of Wayne's big decision?
0:18:02 > 0:18:05- He's endorsed the person who does it.- No.
0:18:05 > 0:18:09His avatar on the brand new FIFA 12 football game will need to be altered,
0:18:09 > 0:18:12as it features his old widow's peak.
0:18:12 > 0:18:16I think if you look closer, in the background of that picture
0:18:16 > 0:18:19you can just make out Ryan Giggs shagging his sister-in-law.
0:18:19 > 0:18:21LAUGHTER
0:18:21 > 0:18:23Wayne Rooney is 25,
0:18:23 > 0:18:26but why doesn't eminent baldy-specialist,
0:18:26 > 0:18:29Dr Bessam Farjo, recommend young people to have it done?
0:18:32 > 0:18:33Apparently it's cos...
0:18:35 > 0:18:40So, basically, older people only ever expect to look terrible!
0:18:41 > 0:18:44Staying with sporting images and their changes,
0:18:44 > 0:18:47what has been especially updated this week?
0:18:47 > 0:18:49- Oh, the Olympic torch.- Yes.
0:18:49 > 0:18:52They've made a new design that's useful for the kitchen, too.
0:18:52 > 0:18:55It's an Olympic torch and a cheese grater.
0:18:55 > 0:18:57Blimey, it is a cheese grater!
0:18:57 > 0:19:01It's one of these pentathlete things where you have to ride a pony across the desert,
0:19:01 > 0:19:03shoot an arrow into a target then grate some cheese.
0:19:03 > 0:19:07This is apparently so people can - young people who haven't got much muscle strength -
0:19:07 > 0:19:10can hold it when they're running.
0:19:10 > 0:19:12Why haven't young people got muscle strength?
0:19:12 > 0:19:16Cos the Tories got rid of all the playing fields so there's no sport.
0:19:16 > 0:19:18- LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE - It's true.
0:19:21 > 0:19:25Evan Davis of The Today Programme had a typically high-brow discussion
0:19:25 > 0:19:28- about Olympic torch design this week.- Yeah.
0:19:28 > 0:19:30Did you hear it, Paul?
0:19:30 > 0:19:33- No, but I'd be fascinated to hear the details.- OK.
0:19:33 > 0:19:35In that case, here he is talking to Mary Beard,
0:19:35 > 0:19:39Professor of Classics at the University of Cambridge.
0:19:39 > 0:19:43'I'm looking at some pictures of some old torches.
0:19:43 > 0:19:47'Mary Beard, some of them have a kind of neo-classic look about them
0:19:47 > 0:19:49'and some are much more contemporary.
0:19:49 > 0:19:52'There's one that looks a bit like a poo, actually.'
0:19:57 > 0:20:01REG: Looks like the work of Bond's new enemy, Gold Lager.
0:20:04 > 0:20:08Leaving sport and going back to hair - seamless link -
0:20:08 > 0:20:13which great big hairy thing gave up the ghost this week?
0:20:13 > 0:20:17- Shrek. Shrek the sheep.- Well done.
0:20:17 > 0:20:18- In New Zealand.- That's right.
0:20:18 > 0:20:21He's been living on a ledge, very high up,
0:20:21 > 0:20:24escaping the shearer for...decades.
0:20:24 > 0:20:26- He ran away in 1998...- Wow.
0:20:26 > 0:20:28..and didn't come back for seven years,
0:20:28 > 0:20:31by which time he looked like this...
0:20:39 > 0:20:41JOANNA: Wayne Rooney!
0:20:43 > 0:20:45That shot would be funnier if you reversed the image,
0:20:45 > 0:20:48if you started out there and went in, that would be funnier.
0:20:48 > 0:20:49REGINALD: This just in...
0:20:50 > 0:20:52LAUGHTER
0:20:58 > 0:20:59APPLAUSE
0:21:02 > 0:21:07You know, at first, when you said, "Let's play it backwards, it'll be more funny,"
0:21:07 > 0:21:09I didn't believe you, man.
0:21:10 > 0:21:14ow was he described - Shrek - by the people that knew him best?
0:21:15 > 0:21:17"It's a sheep."
0:21:18 > 0:21:21Well, the landowner where he lived said...
0:21:29 > 0:21:32You know, he looked around, and the shepherd was like,
0:21:32 > 0:21:35"I ain't even got to watch these cats too much,
0:21:35 > 0:21:37"cos they dumb, and I just leave them
0:21:37 > 0:21:38"and they be here when I get back."
0:21:38 > 0:21:42But that sheep was like, "I'm not like the average sheep.
0:21:42 > 0:21:45"In fact, second you leave, I'ma go and go to the big city,
0:21:45 > 0:21:47"and then I'm going to get a career,
0:21:47 > 0:21:50"and then I'm going to grow a sheep-fro
0:21:50 > 0:21:52"and then..."
0:21:55 > 0:21:58I'd take that... take that idea to Disney.
0:21:58 > 0:22:01- Take that idea to Disney? - Yeah, I reckon.
0:22:01 > 0:22:04And you could do the voice of the sheep. It'd be brilliant.
0:22:04 > 0:22:05Reggie the Sheep.
0:22:06 > 0:22:07There we go.
0:22:07 > 0:22:11This is Wayne Rooney, who this week, admitted to having a hair transplant.
0:22:11 > 0:22:13If you don't want to see the result, look away now.
0:22:14 > 0:22:17The Express explained the transplant technique, saying...
0:22:20 > 0:22:23Though in Wayne's case, they were taken from his palms.
0:22:23 > 0:22:25LAUGHTER
0:22:25 > 0:22:30Rooney's earned the ridicule of his Manchester United team-mates this week,
0:22:30 > 0:22:33after a humiliating photograph appeared in the tabloids
0:22:33 > 0:22:34of him on holiday...
0:22:34 > 0:22:36with his wife.
0:22:37 > 0:22:39LAUGHTER
0:22:41 > 0:22:43And so, to round two,
0:22:43 > 0:22:45the Strengthometer of news.
0:22:45 > 0:22:49Fingers on buzzers, ready? Here's the first one
0:22:52 > 0:22:53BUZZER
0:22:53 > 0:22:57This is Prince Philip, obviously his 90th birthday coming up
0:22:57 > 0:22:58and there he is, um...
0:22:58 > 0:23:03- REG: Describing the first time he met a black dude.- Yeah.
0:23:03 > 0:23:08Indeed. Now, Philip's birthday was obviously an opportunity for the papers to look back over his life,
0:23:08 > 0:23:11shall we have a Philip's Facts And Foul-Ups quiz?
0:23:11 > 0:23:13Uh... Yes, yes!
0:23:13 > 0:23:15Yeah, great, fantastic(!) Woo(!)
0:23:15 > 0:23:19It's like you can read our souls.
0:23:19 > 0:23:21"Arseholes", Reg.
0:23:21 > 0:23:26LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:23:26 > 0:23:29How did Philip describe China to his hosts while on a tour of the country?
0:23:29 > 0:23:31BUZZER JOANNA: Ghastly.
0:23:31 > 0:23:35Correct. Well done.
0:23:35 > 0:23:37APPLAUSE
0:23:37 > 0:23:40And what did he say to the MP for Stoke-on-Trent
0:23:40 > 0:23:41whilst on a tour of the city?
0:23:41 > 0:23:43He told her it was...
0:23:43 > 0:23:45- BUZZER - Ghastly.
0:23:45 > 0:23:47He did.
0:23:47 > 0:23:49LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:23:51 > 0:23:53What did he ask Lord Taylor of Warwick,
0:23:53 > 0:23:56whose parents happen to be Jamaican? He asked...
0:23:56 > 0:24:00"Can you say a sentence with 'ghastly' in it?"
0:24:00 > 0:24:04- "Where do you come from?" - Yes, that's almost right. He said...
0:24:07 > 0:24:09To which Lord Taylor replied...
0:24:13 > 0:24:17- And now, oddly, Lord Taylor's at Her Majesty's pleasure.- He is indeed.
0:24:17 > 0:24:18- You visited him?- Yeah.
0:24:18 > 0:24:22I visited quite a lot of prisons. Erm...
0:24:22 > 0:24:24Last time I went to Wormwood Scrubs,
0:24:24 > 0:24:26erm, I was having lunch there
0:24:26 > 0:24:28and one of the old lags said to me,
0:24:28 > 0:24:32"Prison nowadays, I mean, it's so soft, it's not a deterrent.
0:24:32 > 0:24:36"When I started, THEN it was a real deterrent."
0:24:40 > 0:24:42True story.
0:24:42 > 0:24:43APPLAUSE
0:24:45 > 0:24:47On meeting the President of Nigeria,
0:24:47 > 0:24:49who was dressed in traditional robes,
0:24:49 > 0:24:51- BUZZER - what compliment did the Duke pay him?
0:24:51 > 0:24:52"Are you a woman?"
0:24:52 > 0:24:54Sadly not.
0:24:54 > 0:24:56- BUZZER - No!
0:24:56 > 0:24:59- "Are you just about to go to bed? Are you wearing your pyjamas?" - He did, he said...
0:25:05 > 0:25:08Highest compliment from the Duke!
0:25:08 > 0:25:12What did Philip say to the Queen following the Coronation in 1953?
0:25:12 > 0:25:15- BUZZER - "Where did you get that hat?"- Yes!
0:25:19 > 0:25:21One I remembered.
0:25:23 > 0:25:26What a lot of people don't know is what he said next.
0:25:26 > 0:25:29"It is ghastly!"
0:25:30 > 0:25:33In other Royal news, what was Camilla up to this week?
0:25:33 > 0:25:35BELL
0:25:35 > 0:25:36Ian?
0:25:36 > 0:25:38I don't know.
0:25:39 > 0:25:41She was actually meeting another Camilla.
0:25:41 > 0:25:44REPORTER: And then Camilla, the Duchess of Cornwall,
0:25:44 > 0:25:46met Camilla, the dog.
0:25:46 > 0:25:49Very nice to meet you.
0:25:49 > 0:25:52I said, "We named her after you,
0:25:52 > 0:25:54"because it's such a beautiful name."
0:25:54 > 0:25:57She said, "Oh, thank you." She was overwhelmed, I think.
0:26:01 > 0:26:06This week was Prince Philip's 90th birthday.
0:26:06 > 0:26:10According to the Express, Prince Philip speaks fluent German and French.
0:26:10 > 0:26:12And Chinese. Well, he can do the eyes.
0:26:15 > 0:26:18Fingers on buzzers, teams. Here's the next one.
0:26:22 > 0:26:23BUZZER
0:26:23 > 0:26:27This is a... It's a boy in America. This is his father.
0:26:27 > 0:26:29The father was seeing the boy off on the school bus every day,
0:26:29 > 0:26:32and the kid said, "It's embarrassing coming to see my off every day,
0:26:32 > 0:26:36"the other kids are laughing at me." So he goes in fancy dress.
0:26:36 > 0:26:40What his father did to him, I don't know, but it's nothing to what he's doing to this boy.
0:26:40 > 0:26:41It's about a man who dresses up.
0:26:41 > 0:26:44Indeed. His name is Dale Price.
0:26:44 > 0:26:46Oh, were you just going to say that? Sorry, Reg.
0:26:46 > 0:26:51No, it turns out what I was going to say was wrong, but...
0:26:51 > 0:26:54But it was the different story that
0:26:54 > 0:26:56a young girl wanted a Raggedy Ann doll
0:26:56 > 0:27:01and her father said, "I cannot afford to buy that for you,"
0:27:01 > 0:27:03"but when you get home from school tomorrow,
0:27:03 > 0:27:04"I will have a surprise."
0:27:06 > 0:27:09And then she arrived and then he was waving like that
0:27:09 > 0:27:12and then she was like, "Daddy, this is horrible."
0:27:13 > 0:27:15And then he said, "I know.
0:27:15 > 0:27:18"I am just a transsexual without much imagination."
0:27:20 > 0:27:24I think that's one of the saddest stories I've ever heard.
0:27:24 > 0:27:28Would anyone like to see Dale Price in some of his outfits?
0:27:28 > 0:27:29Here he is as a mermaid.
0:27:29 > 0:27:31Here he is dressed as Wonder Woman.
0:27:34 > 0:27:35Princess Leia.
0:27:35 > 0:27:37And here he is in a wedding dress.
0:27:40 > 0:27:43Is Dale at all concerned about the far-reaching psychological impact
0:27:43 > 0:27:47- this could have on his son? - No, he obviously doesn't care.
0:27:47 > 0:27:49According to the Telegraph, Dale said...
0:28:01 > 0:28:04The kid will get a letter in a few days from his momma
0:28:04 > 0:28:06saying, "I told you."
0:28:08 > 0:28:11Finally, here is a picture for you and a question.
0:28:11 > 0:28:13What has this goose got on it feet?
0:28:13 > 0:28:15REG: Socks? Goose socks.
0:28:15 > 0:28:16- No.- Is it flip-flops?
0:28:16 > 0:28:19Not far off. Its owners have provided their pet goose
0:28:19 > 0:28:21with a pair of sandals.
0:28:25 > 0:28:28You see, nobody looks good in sandals.
0:28:29 > 0:28:32Apparently it goes walking quite a lot and its feet were hurting.
0:28:34 > 0:28:37This is American Dale Price who waves his son off to school
0:28:37 > 0:28:40every day wearing a different bizarre outfit.
0:28:40 > 0:28:43Speaking about his embarrassment to his son, Dale Price said...
0:28:45 > 0:28:48Well, whatever lives with forever, Dale, it won't be you.
0:28:49 > 0:28:51Now, here we go again.
0:28:51 > 0:28:54How many different ways are there of doing this?
0:28:54 > 0:28:55Fingers on buzzers.
0:28:58 > 0:28:59BUZZER
0:28:59 > 0:29:02That's Naomi Campbell and she's been in the news...
0:29:02 > 0:29:07Cadbury's chocolate put up an advert for some sort of chocolate bar
0:29:07 > 0:29:12that said, "Move over, Naomi, there's another diva in town,"
0:29:12 > 0:29:14something like that was the slogan,
0:29:14 > 0:29:15and this was taken as a racial insult
0:29:15 > 0:29:19because some black people feel to be associated with chocolate
0:29:19 > 0:29:20is a reference to their skin.
0:29:20 > 0:29:24This is the second or third time Cadbury's have done this in the last two or three years,
0:29:24 > 0:29:28so it's either they are completely ignorant of what they're doing
0:29:28 > 0:29:31or they bring this story up once in a while so people can mention Cadbury's on TV.
0:29:31 > 0:29:36When you look at the things that black people have been called over the decades,
0:29:36 > 0:29:40how you gon' get mad about being called "chocolate"?
0:29:40 > 0:29:43I mean, you like chocolate when black people ain't involved.
0:29:43 > 0:29:46You chew chocolate, you suck on it and you think it's good.
0:29:46 > 0:29:50And then, you know... It's kind of a compliment, really.
0:29:50 > 0:29:52It'd be different if there was, like, a poo,
0:29:52 > 0:29:54and then they said...
0:29:54 > 0:29:57"Move over, black people." Now, that's offensive.
0:29:57 > 0:29:59But it was a piece of chocolate.
0:29:59 > 0:30:02I'm not saying it's not a problem.
0:30:02 > 0:30:06I'm just saying, we've got bigger ones if it is.
0:30:06 > 0:30:08Ku Klux Klan rather than Kit Kat.
0:30:10 > 0:30:12LAUGHTER
0:30:14 > 0:30:17If I run for Prime Minister, I want you to head my campaign.
0:30:17 > 0:30:20I would consider it an honour.
0:30:21 > 0:30:25I can see a poster with my face and the words, "Why not?"
0:30:25 > 0:30:26It's worth a go!
0:30:29 > 0:30:31Cadbury claimed the campaign was...
0:30:34 > 0:30:37The social pretensions?
0:30:37 > 0:30:40I was at a party and one of them Cadbury things was there,
0:30:40 > 0:30:42and it was up its own ass!
0:30:44 > 0:30:47According to the Times, Cadbury claimed the advert...
0:30:51 > 0:30:53Convinced by that, Reg?
0:30:53 > 0:30:57Yeah, I'm...I'm sure when I go back and sit with the Black Committee
0:30:57 > 0:30:58they will be satisfied.
0:30:58 > 0:31:01LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:31:01 > 0:31:04I've never heard of a Bliss bar. Have you? Anybody?
0:31:04 > 0:31:09- Are they new?- Ah, you may have hit on the very reason why we're hearing this story.
0:31:09 > 0:31:13Apparently when you eat it, it tastes so good, you go, "Mmm!
0:31:13 > 0:31:16"Black people!"
0:31:19 > 0:31:20OK...
0:31:20 > 0:31:24The ad features a chocolate bar lying on a bed of diamonds.
0:31:24 > 0:31:26Clearly even a year on, Naomi's a bit sensitive
0:31:26 > 0:31:30about anything that refers to diamonds and lying.
0:31:32 > 0:31:35The advert made Naomi Campbell furious,
0:31:35 > 0:31:36but to be fair, she gets furious
0:31:36 > 0:31:41when she doesn't have water from a glacial stream in the Andes pipetted into her mouth
0:31:41 > 0:31:42by a Norwegian midget.
0:31:44 > 0:31:47Time now for the odd-one-out round. Just one between you this week.
0:31:47 > 0:31:51A team of bell-ringers in North Yorkshire,
0:31:51 > 0:31:53Howard from Take That, Rapunzel
0:31:53 > 0:31:57and three audience members at a hypnotist's show in Weymouth.
0:31:57 > 0:32:01- Well, Jason Orange is a... - Howard, not Jason.
0:32:01 > 0:32:03Beg your pardon.
0:32:03 > 0:32:04Aha, the pressure gettin' to you.
0:32:05 > 0:32:07- Jason...- Howard, Howard, Howard.
0:32:10 > 0:32:14He's a member of Take That and Take That were stranded
0:32:14 > 0:32:17on the hands of a robot which was descending
0:32:17 > 0:32:21and bringing them with them down to the bottom of the stage but they got stuck.
0:32:21 > 0:32:24Right. Those people who are asleep?
0:32:24 > 0:32:26They were in a trance, hypnotised,
0:32:26 > 0:32:30and unfortunately, the hypnotists had a stage accident
0:32:30 > 0:32:34where he tripped over the feet of the member of the audience and was knocked out...
0:32:37 > 0:32:41..leaving them in a trance and unable to be rescued.
0:32:41 > 0:32:44Bell-ringers are...
0:32:44 > 0:32:47unable to stay in their tower
0:32:47 > 0:32:50because they have been told they make too much noise.
0:32:50 > 0:32:52No, no, no.
0:32:52 > 0:32:54The bell-ringers were locked in the belfry
0:32:54 > 0:32:57by an angry parishioner or an angry neighbour
0:32:57 > 0:33:00who was fed up with them ringing all the bells.
0:33:00 > 0:33:02Howard from Take That was trapped up on a tower.
0:33:02 > 0:33:05Rapunzel was trapped in a tower. The three people who were hypnotised
0:33:05 > 0:33:07weren't trapped in a tower, but in a trance.
0:33:07 > 0:33:10- They're the odd ones out.- Correct. - APPLAUSE
0:33:14 > 0:33:18They were all physically stuck apart from the three audience members.
0:33:18 > 0:33:21They found themselves stuck thinking they were Martians
0:33:21 > 0:33:24after he tripped over on stage and knocked himself out
0:33:24 > 0:33:25before he could bring them round.
0:33:25 > 0:33:28- Do you want to have a look at him in action?- Yes.
0:33:28 > 0:33:31INAUDIBLE SPEECH
0:33:41 > 0:33:44I've always hoped the Martians would be more interesting than that
0:33:44 > 0:33:46when we finally establish contact.
0:33:46 > 0:33:48What, just asleep on a chair?
0:33:48 > 0:33:50They're not used to our atmosphere.
0:33:52 > 0:33:56The bell-ringers in North Yorkshire were a group of campanologists
0:33:56 > 0:33:58who found themselves stuck for half an hour
0:33:58 > 0:34:01in the belfry of St John the Divine Church in Sharow in North Yorkshire
0:34:01 > 0:34:04after a local resident took offence to their peal
0:34:04 > 0:34:05and locked them in.
0:34:05 > 0:34:09Did trapping the bell-ringers in the belfry have the desired effect?
0:34:09 > 0:34:10No, because they rang for help.
0:34:13 > 0:34:15Actually, it did seem to work, because
0:34:15 > 0:34:18after the man poked his head through the trap door
0:34:18 > 0:34:21and shouted abuse at the team and then jammed it shut
0:34:21 > 0:34:22with a piece of wood,
0:34:22 > 0:34:25the bell-ringers had to abandon their three-hour peal
0:34:25 > 0:34:28to focus on trying to escape. So it did sort of work.
0:34:28 > 0:34:31Do you know who the prime suspect behind this terrible crime was?
0:34:31 > 0:34:36The man they saw stick his head through the trap door and shout abuse? Was he the prime suspect?
0:34:36 > 0:34:38- Yes, but what his name is. - Oh. Mr Norris.
0:34:38 > 0:34:42According to the Telegraph, the man has been identified simply as...
0:34:46 > 0:34:49He's thought to be between 60 and 70 with an angular face,
0:34:49 > 0:34:52although no-one could give a more detailed description because...
0:34:59 > 0:35:02I have to say, there was a fantastic article in my mum's local paper,
0:35:02 > 0:35:05the Ludlow Advertiser, and it was about bell-ringing,
0:35:05 > 0:35:07and they said the leader of the bell-ringers,
0:35:07 > 0:35:10his name was Tony Tucker.
0:35:10 > 0:35:14And for some reason, it came out as "Mr Tiny Fucker"
0:35:14 > 0:35:17on the front of the Ludlow Advertiser.
0:35:21 > 0:35:24- That's where your parents are? - Yes, that's where my mum is.
0:35:24 > 0:35:27- You mum in Ludlow?- Yes.
0:35:27 > 0:35:30All the money you done made, and you still her sit up there in Ludlow.
0:35:30 > 0:35:33- Ludlow's lovely! - Very classy town, Ludlow.
0:35:33 > 0:35:35- Really?- Have you been there?
0:35:35 > 0:35:37- Yeah, I've been to Ludlow. - Did you think it was a shithole?
0:35:37 > 0:35:39I didn't think it was a shithole,
0:35:39 > 0:35:42but I mean, like, didn't nothing happen after nine o'clock.
0:35:42 > 0:35:44But my mum's not a clubber, really.
0:35:47 > 0:35:49Do you think I should move her to Penge?
0:35:52 > 0:35:53That's where we all end up.
0:35:53 > 0:35:57- What they do in Penge?- Uh, you don't want to know what they do in Penge.
0:35:57 > 0:35:59She been there a long time?
0:35:59 > 0:36:02- Um...about ten years. - You go and see her much?
0:36:02 > 0:36:03No.
0:36:03 > 0:36:05Can't stand her.
0:36:06 > 0:36:08That's why you going to hell.
0:36:10 > 0:36:15Er, so this isn't the only incident of bell-related crime in Sharow.
0:36:15 > 0:36:17What else has happened in this village?
0:36:17 > 0:36:19Not Midsomer Murders, is it?
0:36:19 > 0:36:20No. It should be, though.
0:36:20 > 0:36:23Apparently, many suspect Mr Crotchety
0:36:23 > 0:36:26could have been an anti-bell-ringing campaign
0:36:26 > 0:36:29a few years ago, when, according to the Telegraph...
0:36:35 > 0:36:38You just can't beat crime in the villages, can you?
0:36:38 > 0:36:39You really can't.
0:36:41 > 0:36:42Howard from Take That found himself
0:36:42 > 0:36:46stuck in the hand of 20m-high robot called Om
0:36:46 > 0:36:48after mechanical failures hit
0:36:48 > 0:36:51the £15 million production in Manchester this week.
0:36:51 > 0:36:55Apparently, he was just about to launch into his in moment in the show -
0:36:55 > 0:36:59which I think in brackets we can read "only moment in the show".
0:36:59 > 0:37:03Eight bell-ringers were trapped in the bell tower of a church in North Yorkshire
0:37:03 > 0:37:06by a local after he complained about the noise.
0:37:06 > 0:37:11The bell-ringers were saved by a parishioner who heard them stamping their feet. She said...
0:37:13 > 0:37:16In which case, she should have just left them there to rot.
0:37:16 > 0:37:19Time now for the missing words round,
0:37:19 > 0:37:21which this week features as its guest publication
0:37:21 > 0:37:25Epitaphs, the magazine for and by cemetery lovers.
0:37:25 > 0:37:28And we'll start with...
0:37:33 > 0:37:34Start a fire.
0:37:34 > 0:37:37- REGINALD: Have sex. - Have sex?
0:37:37 > 0:37:38Bob and Rusty?
0:37:38 > 0:37:42Is it, steal bodies and sell them for medical research?
0:37:43 > 0:37:46No, even though they are. No, the answer is...
0:37:48 > 0:37:51Talking about their local graveyard, Rusty says...
0:37:54 > 0:37:57Sadly, the only unmarked grave in the cemetery!
0:38:00 > 0:38:01And the next one...
0:38:03 > 0:38:05That's not Saturn out the window,
0:38:05 > 0:38:08it's a reflection of a ping-pong ball on top of the wardrobe.
0:38:09 > 0:38:11REG: That's not cemetery etiquette,
0:38:11 > 0:38:14it's ghastly!
0:38:15 > 0:38:17Yeah, absolutely.
0:38:17 > 0:38:19Well, it's...
0:38:21 > 0:38:26MI6 hacked into an al-Qaeda website and replaced instructions on how to make a bomb
0:38:26 > 0:38:28with a recipe for cupcakes.
0:38:28 > 0:38:31That's not a bomb, that's a cupcake -
0:38:31 > 0:38:36probably Mr Kipling's least successful advertising campaign. Next.
0:38:39 > 0:38:41Greek, isn't it? Taphophiles - people who love graves.
0:38:41 > 0:38:42Grave-lovers.
0:38:42 > 0:38:44Yes, you are along the right lines.
0:38:47 > 0:38:49And they ARE people who like graves.
0:38:49 > 0:38:52- Um...- I didn't know rabbits could do maths!
0:38:52 > 0:38:55Have you ever heard of rabbits doing maths?
0:38:57 > 0:39:01This is an article about the kind of people who like wandering around cemeteries,
0:39:01 > 0:39:03and who are also known as...
0:39:04 > 0:39:08..who share their name with one of Ann Summers' less marketable products.
0:39:10 > 0:39:11And finally...
0:39:15 > 0:39:16Um...rare.
0:39:17 > 0:39:19Herr Ha-ha.
0:39:21 > 0:39:23I think, Ian, you're near enough to it.
0:39:23 > 0:39:28There's some survey that said that ranking countries by how funny they are, the Germans came bottom.
0:39:28 > 0:39:31That's the right answer - there isn't one, apparently!
0:39:31 > 0:39:36But it was voted for largely by countries who the Germans had invaded at some stage.
0:39:36 > 0:39:39The Germans are not a funny race. "Knock, knock." "Who's there?"
0:39:39 > 0:39:42"The Gestapo." That's it.
0:39:44 > 0:39:50We're going to have the German Ambassador complaining to this programme again.
0:39:50 > 0:39:52Has he complained before?
0:39:52 > 0:39:56He has complained repeatedly about how this panel is stuck in the Second World War.
0:39:56 > 0:40:00It's our only reference, it's the only thing we ever think about German.
0:40:00 > 0:40:02"It's the Gestapo AGAIN."
0:40:02 > 0:40:04No sense of humour, you see.
0:40:08 > 0:40:11- MOCK GERMAN ACCENT:- For you, Ambassador, the joke is over.
0:40:17 > 0:40:19So, the final scores -
0:40:19 > 0:40:21we've got to that point - are
0:40:21 > 0:40:24Ian and Jo - 4, and Paul and Reg...
0:40:24 > 0:40:26Ooh, they've run away with it,
0:40:26 > 0:40:28- and have 7.- Well done!
0:40:34 > 0:40:37But before we go, there's just time for the caption competition.
0:40:37 > 0:40:42Is the bloke in the middle thinking, "This is the worst identity parade I've ever attended"?
0:40:42 > 0:40:45The dude in the middle is doing the British thing of,
0:40:45 > 0:40:48"If I don't look at that person, then they don't exist."
0:40:51 > 0:40:55On which note, we say thank you to our panellists Ian Hislop and Joanna Scanlan,
0:40:55 > 0:40:58Paul Merton and Reginald D Hunter,
0:40:58 > 0:41:02and I leave you with the news that there are suspicions that Government cutbacks
0:41:02 > 0:41:05are affecting the Metropolitan Police's Rapid Response Unit.
0:41:08 > 0:41:14At his 90th birthday party, Prince Philip asked the Bishop of Durham, "Did you spill my pint?"
0:41:19 > 0:41:22And Disney admits it was a mistake to hire Quentin Tarantino
0:41:22 > 0:41:25to direct the new Winnie The Pooh movie.
0:41:32 > 0:41:34Good night!
0:41:59 > 0:42:03Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:42:03 > 0:42:07E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk