0:00:25 > 0:00:28APPLAUSE
0:00:39 > 0:00:42A good evening and welcome to Have I Got News For You.
0:00:42 > 0:00:44I'm Brian Blessed!
0:00:44 > 0:00:46Yes, it's me.
0:00:46 > 0:00:48- LAUGHS - I'm back again.
0:00:48 > 0:00:51Now, in the news this week, as Silvio Berlusconi
0:00:51 > 0:00:53celebrates his latest election result,
0:00:53 > 0:00:57his campaign team call off the hunt for his missing mistress.
0:01:03 > 0:01:09And...Richard Hammond arrives at A&E having driven an open-top car
0:01:09 > 0:01:10under a low bridge.
0:01:13 > 0:01:18And there's delight for Eric Pickles as his new toasting fork
0:01:18 > 0:01:19is finally delivered!
0:01:24 > 0:01:28On Ian's team tonight, a left-wing politician who believes
0:01:28 > 0:01:31the state should pay for everything...
0:01:31 > 0:01:33except a ceremonial funeral.
0:01:34 > 0:01:38Please welcome the fantastic Ken Livingstone.
0:01:38 > 0:01:41APPLAUSE
0:01:43 > 0:01:46And with Paul tonight is a comedian
0:01:46 > 0:01:51who, in a previous job, worked as a greetings card packer in a factory.
0:01:51 > 0:01:54On her last day, she was given hundreds of leaving cards
0:01:54 > 0:01:58and told to pop them in the delivery van on her way out.
0:01:58 > 0:02:03Please welcome the wonderful, gorgeous Bridget Christie.
0:02:03 > 0:02:06APPLAUSE
0:02:10 > 0:02:14And we start with the biggest stories of the week.
0:02:14 > 0:02:17Ian and Ken, take a look at this.
0:02:17 > 0:02:19There she is, swinging away.
0:02:19 > 0:02:21It's an old lady who's died this week.
0:02:21 > 0:02:22Any thoughts, Ken?
0:02:25 > 0:02:26Oh, look, she's burying you.
0:02:29 > 0:02:32Oh, there we are - switching Britain on.
0:02:32 > 0:02:35Well, you know, it's amazing, I haven't had an invite to the funeral yet,
0:02:35 > 0:02:36so I haven't been able to decline it.
0:02:38 > 0:02:40Would you go?
0:02:40 > 0:02:42No, no. It would be a tad hypocritical.
0:02:42 > 0:02:43Given she abolished me,
0:02:43 > 0:02:47I don't think she'd expect me to turn up at her funeral.
0:02:47 > 0:02:50She's died, and the BBC has been accused of bias.
0:02:50 > 0:02:54So luckily, tonight, it's rectified it by inviting Ken Livingstone on.
0:02:56 > 0:02:58Wednesday saw tributes in Parliament.
0:02:58 > 0:03:01Anyone catch what Norman Lamont had to say?
0:03:01 > 0:03:04- No. What did he have to say?- Well...
0:03:04 > 0:03:07- Don't you know, Paul? - No, I don't.
0:03:07 > 0:03:09Me and Norman fell out some time ago.
0:03:09 > 0:03:10He said...
0:03:15 > 0:03:18- What great judgement she had.- Yes.
0:03:18 > 0:03:20There was a succession of rather wet elderly men
0:03:20 > 0:03:24appearing on the telly saying, "She was awfully rude to us, you know?
0:03:24 > 0:03:25"And really horrid to Jeffrey."
0:03:25 > 0:03:27When you say, "Wet elderly men,"
0:03:27 > 0:03:30have they just been fished from the Thames for their...?
0:03:30 > 0:03:32And there are some very elderly posh ones going,
0:03:32 > 0:03:34"God, I mean, she was a woman...
0:03:36 > 0:03:40"Rather vulgar - probably middle class. Ghastly. Ghastly.
0:03:40 > 0:03:41"And a woman."
0:03:41 > 0:03:43There's been a lot of talk this week about the fact
0:03:43 > 0:03:46- that she WAS a WOMAN.- Yes.
0:03:46 > 0:03:48But, I mean, I knew all along.
0:03:51 > 0:03:53She was sort of beyond gender, in a way.
0:03:53 > 0:03:54She had such conviction
0:03:54 > 0:03:58and such amazing confidence in herself
0:03:58 > 0:04:02that I think that whatever she'd been born,
0:04:02 > 0:04:04she wouldn't have thought that that was a hindrance.
0:04:04 > 0:04:07Even if she'd been born a man...
0:04:07 > 0:04:11or a goat, it wouldn't have stopped her.
0:04:11 > 0:04:15- You think she'd have been Britain's first goat Prime Minister? - Well, she would have been!
0:04:15 > 0:04:18And now we'd all be saying, "Against all odds, at a time
0:04:18 > 0:04:20"when it was inconceivable that a goat
0:04:20 > 0:04:23"would have been elected as a Member of Parliament..."
0:04:23 > 0:04:26I hardly think she'd have been against the Nanny State, though.
0:04:28 > 0:04:30APPLAUSE
0:04:32 > 0:04:34What did John Gummer have to say?
0:04:34 > 0:04:35Nothing interesting.
0:04:37 > 0:04:38He said...
0:04:46 > 0:04:48What? Walking and picking up things?
0:04:50 > 0:04:54Are you familiar with Harry Styles? He sent a Twitter message saying...
0:04:56 > 0:04:58And these were the responses from his fans.
0:05:07 > 0:05:10I've only just read this. This is shite!
0:05:11 > 0:05:13Did you also see the misunderstanding
0:05:13 > 0:05:15over a Twitter conversation called...
0:05:16 > 0:05:18BRIDGET: Oh, yes.
0:05:18 > 0:05:22Which upset fans of the popular singer Cher, who thought she'd died.
0:05:24 > 0:05:26"Now that Cher's dead."
0:05:29 > 0:05:32There were some errors on mainstream television also.
0:05:32 > 0:05:35Did you see how the BBC announced the news?
0:05:35 > 0:05:36Yes, can we see it again?
0:05:37 > 0:05:40Sorry to interrupt you there, just cos there's one more line,
0:05:40 > 0:05:43just as you were reading that, which has just come in from Lord Bell.
0:05:43 > 0:05:45He's been quoted saying,
0:05:45 > 0:05:48"It is with great sadness that Mark and Carol Thatcher announced
0:05:48 > 0:05:52"that their mother, Baroness Thatcher, died peacefully
0:05:52 > 0:05:54"following a strike this morning."
0:06:01 > 0:06:06And Thailand's Channel 5 showed a photo of Meryl Streep instead.
0:06:09 > 0:06:10Here's another question.
0:06:10 > 0:06:13Why weren't Thatcher's children there at the end?
0:06:13 > 0:06:16- Perhaps Mark was still on the run? - Yes, that's...
0:06:17 > 0:06:20Actually, I was on paper review with Carol Thatcher
0:06:20 > 0:06:22the day it was revealed in the papers
0:06:22 > 0:06:24that Mark Thatcher was a multi-millionaire.
0:06:24 > 0:06:26And she said, "I don't see how that can be.
0:06:26 > 0:06:28"He's never done a day's work in his life."
0:06:30 > 0:06:32That's true. Keep it in.
0:06:34 > 0:06:36That's all the lawyer needs to hear.
0:06:36 > 0:06:39"That's true. Keep it in." That's what we should do.
0:06:39 > 0:06:42- It's in my autobiography and he hasn't sued.- But no-one's read that.
0:06:45 > 0:06:49- You're in it.- Am I?- Yeah. - Blimey.- Private Eye is.
0:06:49 > 0:06:52It's when you said I had a secret Swiss bank account
0:06:52 > 0:06:54into which Gaddafi put 250,000.
0:06:54 > 0:06:56- Did we get the figure wrong?- No...
0:06:59 > 0:07:01APPLAUSE
0:07:01 > 0:07:03Well, I have to say they were abroad.
0:07:03 > 0:07:06What did Maggie once say about her son?
0:07:06 > 0:07:08Did she only say something once about him?
0:07:10 > 0:07:11Well, she said...
0:07:15 > 0:07:17But mainly just arms to nasty...
0:07:19 > 0:07:21APPLAUSE
0:07:22 > 0:07:27Now, how did the BBC expose their own lefty tendencies
0:07:27 > 0:07:30and their utter contempt for Thatcher's memory?
0:07:30 > 0:07:33They interviewed her enemies, who said unpleasant things about her,
0:07:33 > 0:07:35and then they interviewed her friends,
0:07:35 > 0:07:37most of whom also said unpleasant things about her.
0:07:37 > 0:07:41And now the BBC interviewed Gerry Adams. What did he say?
0:07:41 > 0:07:46Didn't he go on about how she supported a whole list of things
0:07:46 > 0:07:48he didn't approve of, basically?
0:07:48 > 0:07:50Well, he said...
0:07:52 > 0:07:55Although not as much as all those bombs, eh, Gerry?
0:07:57 > 0:08:00All right, Gerry, any time, you pillock!
0:08:00 > 0:08:03Straight between your gizzard!
0:08:06 > 0:08:08I thought we politically moved on from issuing threats
0:08:08 > 0:08:11to former members of the IRA.
0:08:11 > 0:08:16The BBC also interviewed Maggie's biggest fan and disciple,
0:08:16 > 0:08:19Tony Blair. Did you see his tribute? He said...
0:08:25 > 0:08:28Well, he certainly changed the landscape of Baghdad.
0:08:31 > 0:08:35I'm sorry, Tony. He had a heart operation.
0:08:35 > 0:08:38- He had one put in? - Did he have one put in?
0:08:40 > 0:08:43APPLAUSE
0:08:43 > 0:08:46Now, Lord Howe of Aberavon was asked...
0:08:46 > 0:08:48- I'm not going to say that again. - Yeah, go on.
0:08:48 > 0:08:49HE SPLUTTERS
0:08:49 > 0:08:52It sounds like you're drowning in a bath.
0:08:52 > 0:08:56..was asked by Sky for his thoughts on his time in Thatcher's Cabinet
0:08:56 > 0:08:57and he said...
0:09:00 > 0:09:03Well, yes, that's the idea when someone dies, Geoffrey.
0:09:03 > 0:09:06A bit of reminiscing about old stuff.
0:09:06 > 0:09:08- HE SHOUTS:- Come on, shape up!
0:09:09 > 0:09:12I think you were on safer ground attacking Geoffrey Howe
0:09:12 > 0:09:14than you were with Gerry Adams.
0:09:14 > 0:09:17Did you hear about Julian Styles?
0:09:17 > 0:09:19- According to the Mirror...- Yeah.
0:09:33 > 0:09:3630 years...without a job.
0:09:36 > 0:09:40Pull your finger out, Julian, you lazy bastard!
0:09:40 > 0:09:41LAUGHTER
0:09:43 > 0:09:45I'll kill you, you bastard!
0:09:48 > 0:09:53Let's abandon this show. Brian says, "Who wants a fight?"
0:09:55 > 0:09:59Line up in alphabetical order - Adams, you're first.
0:10:00 > 0:10:03- The celebrations... - There has been...- Speak.
0:10:03 > 0:10:05There has been lunacy on both sides.
0:10:05 > 0:10:09The more conservative press has got very overexcited,
0:10:09 > 0:10:12and there are plans to rename London "Thatcher".
0:10:13 > 0:10:17- Did you know that?- Port Stanley, I think.- And the statue.
0:10:17 > 0:10:20Do you want her on the fourth plinth?
0:10:20 > 0:10:21When I became Mayor, I was told,
0:10:21 > 0:10:24because they were going, "What are you going to do with it?"
0:10:24 > 0:10:27I said, "It's reserved for Her Majesty when she dies."
0:10:27 > 0:10:30I'm not supposed to say that. They said, "You can't tell anyone."
0:10:30 > 0:10:33Rather than put the Queen up there, we should have a statue,
0:10:33 > 0:10:35rather than actually put her up there.
0:10:35 > 0:10:37That would be a bit grisly.
0:10:37 > 0:10:39That's why they had all those temporary things.
0:10:39 > 0:10:41They put her up there,
0:10:41 > 0:10:43there'll be endless demos, people trying to pull it down.
0:10:43 > 0:10:46It will be just like the Saddam Hussein thing -
0:10:46 > 0:10:48people pulling it down with ropes.
0:10:48 > 0:10:52Well, that and a ring of steel of Daily Mail readers, guarding the flame.
0:10:54 > 0:10:56The celebrations of Thatcher's death
0:10:56 > 0:10:59have been criticised by all sides, including Tony Blair.
0:10:59 > 0:11:00Blair said this...
0:11:09 > 0:11:11Although philosophically speaking, he'd be dead.
0:11:11 > 0:11:14LAUGHTER
0:11:14 > 0:11:18He believes in an afterlife. He'll be looking down on the celebrations.
0:11:18 > 0:11:20Or looking up.
0:11:21 > 0:11:24APPLAUSE
0:11:24 > 0:11:27Margaret Thatcher is to have a ceremonial funeral.
0:11:27 > 0:11:31- What's it going to cost? - 10 million.- Absolutely right.
0:11:31 > 0:11:33Between 10 million and 40 million.
0:11:33 > 0:11:35I mean, I don't understand this!
0:11:35 > 0:11:39- Look, when I was a kid...- Yeah, yeah.- ..I used to make coffins.
0:11:39 > 0:11:42I left school at 14, love. I made hundreds of coffins.
0:11:42 > 0:11:45I could do it cheaply. Only cost 25 quid.
0:11:45 > 0:11:47In those days, even though they weren't dead,
0:11:47 > 0:11:49- you punched them into the coffin, "Get down there!"- Well...
0:11:49 > 0:11:52Brian has just offered to do the whole thing for 25 quid...
0:11:52 > 0:11:55- For 25 quid.- ..which has got to be the lowest bid.
0:11:55 > 0:11:57I think it's out to tender, give it to Brian.
0:11:59 > 0:12:01The BBC News produced an artist's impression
0:12:01 > 0:12:03of what the funeral might look like.
0:12:06 > 0:12:08It's a bit like Reservoir Dogs.
0:12:08 > 0:12:11LAUGHTER
0:12:11 > 0:12:14- I mean, I was up for that movie, you know?- Were you?
0:12:14 > 0:12:16- Marvellous barker. - HE BARKS AND HOWLS
0:12:16 > 0:12:20- I'd have been marvellous. - What's your reservoir like?
0:12:20 > 0:12:24All the retrospectives of Thatcher's reign
0:12:24 > 0:12:25have brought back some memories.
0:12:25 > 0:12:28Do you recall what the eminent Dr Jonathan Miller
0:12:28 > 0:12:29said about Thatcher?
0:12:36 > 0:12:39It's good that Jonathan Miller reminds us occasionally
0:12:39 > 0:12:42of what a twat he is.
0:12:45 > 0:12:47- Line 'em up.- Line 'em up!
0:12:48 > 0:12:50- Who wants to see... This is good.- Mm.
0:12:50 > 0:12:52..to see Margaret Thatcher's reaction
0:12:52 > 0:12:57when a Swedish TV presenter asks her to do a little jump in the air?
0:12:57 > 0:12:59- Here we are.- I'd love to see it! - Here we go.
0:12:59 > 0:13:01It's kind of a gimmick on my show
0:13:01 > 0:13:03and it's to make a jump.
0:13:03 > 0:13:05I shouldn't dream of doing that.
0:13:05 > 0:13:07Why should I?
0:13:07 > 0:13:09- Well... - I see no significance whatsoever
0:13:09 > 0:13:11of making a jump up in the air.
0:13:11 > 0:13:16I make great leaps forward, not little jumps in studios.
0:13:18 > 0:13:22Nice to know other countries' telly's as crap as ours, isn't it?
0:13:22 > 0:13:27- Am I on that?- Yes, you're on this now.- I don't know what you're on!
0:13:27 > 0:13:29LAUGHTER
0:13:30 > 0:13:32Yes, this is the solemn news
0:13:32 > 0:13:36that one of our greatest peacetime Prime Ministers has died.
0:13:36 > 0:13:38But don't worry,
0:13:38 > 0:13:41- HE SHOUTS:- Gordon's alive!
0:13:41 > 0:13:45- Yeah! - CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:13:45 > 0:13:48Jeffrey Archer paid tribute to Lady Thatcher, saying...
0:13:55 > 0:14:00Jeffrey Archer, not just a terrible writer but also a terrible writer.
0:14:04 > 0:14:06Lord Saatchi joined in the tributes, saying...
0:14:13 > 0:14:15Has he not read the papers?
0:14:16 > 0:14:20Lady Thatcher's funeral will be held in central London next Wednesday.
0:14:20 > 0:14:24It will be a full ceremonial occasion with military honours.
0:14:24 > 0:14:27But at her own request, there'll be no fly past.
0:14:27 > 0:14:30Although the Argentinean Air Force did offer.
0:14:32 > 0:14:36- Paul and Bridget, my sugar lumps. - Yes.- Take a look at this.
0:14:36 > 0:14:39Another one of the feel-good stories of the week(!)
0:14:41 > 0:14:44This is a man who's extremely dangerous.
0:14:44 > 0:14:46- Getting hopscotch very wrong. - Absolutely.
0:14:46 > 0:14:50There he is being applauded, and everybody laughing and clapping,
0:14:50 > 0:14:51cos he's fantastic.
0:14:51 > 0:14:56He's conducting his own symphony, which he's written inside a tank.
0:14:56 > 0:15:00So, you managed to have someone on who makes Mrs Thatcher look rational and human.
0:15:01 > 0:15:03That's why YOU'RE here.
0:15:03 > 0:15:06LAUGHTER
0:15:08 > 0:15:11But those missiles that went up in the air and then fell down again
0:15:11 > 0:15:13and looked like they were made of Lego...
0:15:13 > 0:15:15The American ones did at the beginning.
0:15:15 > 0:15:17The really scary bit is when they get it right.
0:15:17 > 0:15:19Oh, you've reassured me, Ken!
0:15:19 > 0:15:22This North Korea is going to send up a couple of rockets,
0:15:22 > 0:15:26and they'll go backwards and go round and round like the ouzel bird
0:15:26 > 0:15:29and disappear up his arse.
0:15:29 > 0:15:31Now, let's see how Jeremy Paxman
0:15:31 > 0:15:36introduced this major international story on Newsnight.
0:15:36 > 0:15:39There have, mercifully, been no hostilities yet,
0:15:39 > 0:15:42and the natural response to the spectacle of a fat little man
0:15:42 > 0:15:47in an absurd boiler suit issuing such threats is perhaps to laugh.
0:15:48 > 0:15:50LAUGHTER
0:15:51 > 0:15:55Now, since North Korea has ratcheted up the tension,
0:15:55 > 0:15:59what's happened to South Korea's Sunshine Policy? Ian?
0:15:59 > 0:16:02What, an attempt at rapprochement with the North?
0:16:02 > 0:16:03Well, it's not gone awfully well
0:16:03 > 0:16:05when they're threatening to annihilate you.
0:16:05 > 0:16:08Well, it says here the Sunshine Policy was an attempt
0:16:08 > 0:16:11to try and engage more positively with its neighbour.
0:16:11 > 0:16:15Both countries jointly run a group of factories near the border
0:16:15 > 0:16:17called the Kaesong Industrial Complex.
0:16:17 > 0:16:20Doesn't that sound a lovely place?
0:16:20 > 0:16:23- Yeah.- But now North Korea have withdrawn its workforce.
0:16:23 > 0:16:27Also, South Korea's Minister of Unification, Ryoo Ki Ji Jang,
0:16:27 > 0:16:31confirmed reports in South Korea's Joong Tang Ali Dang newspaper,
0:16:31 > 0:16:33that there were signs of suspicious activity
0:16:33 > 0:16:35at the Punggye site in North Korea,
0:16:35 > 0:16:39although North Korea official, Kim Yang Gong Bang,
0:16:39 > 0:16:42claimed South Korea were just warmongering.
0:16:42 > 0:16:47And then Ryoo Kio-jae changed his mind, denied the newspaper reports
0:16:47 > 0:16:50and said he couldn't remember saying anything about it.
0:16:50 > 0:16:53- So, why the- BLEEP- have I bothered to read all that out?
0:16:53 > 0:16:54LAUGHTER
0:17:00 > 0:17:02What a load of bollocks!
0:17:05 > 0:17:07And now let's see what this says.
0:17:09 > 0:17:12- I'm not being too EYEBROW, am I? - No, not too highbrow, no.
0:17:12 > 0:17:13Too eyebrow?!
0:17:15 > 0:17:17- Is that an acting term? - It is an acting term.
0:17:17 > 0:17:20Bridget, you know a lot about weaponry, don't you?
0:17:20 > 0:17:23- I'm told you can fire a musket. - I can.
0:17:23 > 0:17:26- Or is that some sort of double entendre?- No, it's not.
0:17:26 > 0:17:30- I can fire a musket.- Can you? - Without singeing my eyebrows.- Really?
0:17:30 > 0:17:33It takes a long time, and muskets are really long and heavy.
0:17:33 > 0:17:35But I actually had a...
0:17:35 > 0:17:39I'm ashamed of this, because I'm a feminist,
0:17:39 > 0:17:42but I had a man hold the end of it for me.
0:17:42 > 0:17:43Are we still talking about a gun?
0:17:45 > 0:17:49The Sun provided a helpful Q&A by North Korea expert
0:17:49 > 0:17:53Aidan Foster-Carter, who answered such questions as...
0:18:05 > 0:18:08Now, who wants to see just how popular Kim Jong-un is
0:18:08 > 0:18:10with his army?
0:18:10 > 0:18:11Let's have a look at what happened
0:18:11 > 0:18:15when he arrives by boat for a visit to an army base.
0:18:27 > 0:18:30Marvellous. I mean, it's like a bad rehearsal of Cats.
0:18:31 > 0:18:36- Who wants to see the North Korean embassy in London?- Yes, please.
0:18:36 > 0:18:39It's not quite as grand as you might expect.
0:18:39 > 0:18:43It's a semi-detached house in Ealing where, according to neighbours...
0:18:46 > 0:18:50It's a seven-bedroom property, so if nothing else, North Korea
0:18:50 > 0:18:53now owes us 98 quid a week in bedroom tax.
0:18:54 > 0:18:57Now, then, the question is, what sort of activity
0:18:57 > 0:18:58has been going on there?
0:18:58 > 0:19:01- There's been a big removals van parked there...- Yes!
0:19:01 > 0:19:05KEN: Oh, they're leaving, yes, just in case we had a war.
0:19:05 > 0:19:08Somebody's moving out. Apparently, it's a new secretary's moved in or something.
0:19:08 > 0:19:11- You're right, Bridget.- Are they trying to scare us by saying,
0:19:11 > 0:19:15"We're moving out, Ealing is the big target"?
0:19:15 > 0:19:17A removal van has been spotted outside the embassy,
0:19:17 > 0:19:21although with North Korea being such a secretive state,
0:19:21 > 0:19:23they were quite discreet about it.
0:19:23 > 0:19:25That's what they call a KOREA move.
0:19:25 > 0:19:27GROANING
0:19:27 > 0:19:29A KOREA move!
0:19:32 > 0:19:33HE LAUGHS
0:19:33 > 0:19:35- Oh, shit, shit!- What have you done?
0:19:35 > 0:19:38Ah, shit, I've got cramp in my right leg. Come here.
0:19:38 > 0:19:40Do you want somebody to massage it for you?
0:19:40 > 0:19:42I mean, on that side...
0:19:42 > 0:19:44Ken, pull the foot over.
0:19:44 > 0:19:46- Pull his leg.- No, pull it... - Pull the leg.
0:19:48 > 0:19:50That's it!
0:19:51 > 0:19:54Most useful thing I've done in years!
0:19:54 > 0:19:56Oh, I've pulled me bloody mike out.
0:19:58 > 0:20:00Oh, Christ! It's going, it's going...
0:20:00 > 0:20:02- Is it coming back? - Is he coming back?!
0:20:04 > 0:20:07What have US soldiers been doing which involves Camp Stanley?
0:20:07 > 0:20:11They're practising anti-chemical warfare techniques.
0:20:11 > 0:20:13- HE BELCHES - I've got terrible wind.
0:20:13 > 0:20:15LAUGHTER
0:20:17 > 0:20:20Wind, cramp. You're not falling to bits, are you, Brian?
0:20:23 > 0:20:25Are you sure this isn't chemical warfare?
0:20:25 > 0:20:27I'll be all right.
0:20:27 > 0:20:29Ken, pull his foot, quick!
0:20:29 > 0:20:33If somebody kills Brian, the list of suspects is going to be enormous.
0:20:33 > 0:20:36LAUGHTER
0:20:39 > 0:20:42- How are you doing? - I'll be all right.
0:20:47 > 0:20:50HE EMITS A TARZAN-LIKE CALL
0:20:50 > 0:20:52I feel much better. Much better. I feel much better.
0:20:52 > 0:20:54And that's why we shouldn't cut benefits.
0:20:56 > 0:20:59Some experts believe we can predict the next move of North Korea
0:20:59 > 0:21:03- because they've got a thing about the number nine.- Yes.
0:21:03 > 0:21:04- Now, what is it? - It's a lucky number.
0:21:04 > 0:21:07It has a great significance in their culture.
0:21:07 > 0:21:10- That's right. Now, nine is regarded as a very lucky number.- Yeah.
0:21:10 > 0:21:13The first nuclear test took place October 9, 2006.
0:21:13 > 0:21:15That's my birthday.
0:21:15 > 0:21:18Second was on 5th of April, 2009, and that's significant,
0:21:18 > 0:21:20- according to the magazine... - HE COUGHS
0:21:20 > 0:21:24- ..Business Insider, because... - Sorry, what was the... Did you...?
0:21:24 > 0:21:26What was the first word?
0:21:26 > 0:21:29- Now, it says here, 5 + 4 = 9...- Yeah.
0:21:29 > 0:21:31- ..and the 9 of 2009.- Yeah.
0:21:31 > 0:21:35- Now, the next nuclear test was on 12th of December, 2012...- Yeah.
0:21:35 > 0:21:39..and therefore, 1 + 2 + 1 + 2 + 1...
0:21:39 > 0:21:42+ 2 of 2012 = 9.
0:21:42 > 0:21:44Yeah.
0:21:44 > 0:21:46LAUGHTER
0:21:46 > 0:21:49And the North Koreans announced they couldn't protect foreign diplomats
0:21:49 > 0:21:53- after Wednesday of this week, which was...- The 9th.
0:21:53 > 0:21:54..April the 10th!
0:21:57 > 0:22:00We're dealing with lunatics!
0:22:01 > 0:22:05This is the deranged, power-crazed dictator...
0:22:05 > 0:22:06Hey, hang on a minute.
0:22:06 > 0:22:08Haven't we done with her?
0:22:10 > 0:22:14I'm getting it wrong, no. This is Kim Jong-un
0:22:14 > 0:22:17and his desire to make his own mark on the world
0:22:17 > 0:22:20in the shape of a bloody great crater.
0:22:21 > 0:22:24And here's a recent picture of Kim Jong-un...
0:22:24 > 0:22:27applying for the manager's job at Sunderland.
0:22:29 > 0:22:32Tensions were further escalated this week
0:22:32 > 0:22:35when North Korea warned that they would restart their nuclear reactor
0:22:35 > 0:22:37with the chilling words,
0:22:37 > 0:22:41"OK, boys, start pedalling."
0:22:41 > 0:22:43At the end of that round...
0:22:43 > 0:22:46That's the first round, by the way.
0:22:46 > 0:22:49APPLAUSE
0:22:49 > 0:22:51So...
0:22:54 > 0:22:55The idea seems to be
0:22:55 > 0:22:59to commemorate Margaret Thatcher's term in power in real time.
0:23:01 > 0:23:03So only 11 and a half years to go!
0:23:04 > 0:23:09And so at the end of that round, it's two points each.
0:23:09 > 0:23:12APPLAUSE
0:23:12 > 0:23:14INAUDIBLE
0:23:17 > 0:23:21And so on to Round Two and a new game that I'm calling
0:23:21 > 0:23:24Have I Got Noise For You.
0:23:26 > 0:23:29Along with a picture clue, I'm going to make a noise...
0:23:29 > 0:23:30HE LAUGHS
0:23:30 > 0:23:33..which should tell you what the story's about.
0:23:33 > 0:23:35So we start with...
0:23:35 > 0:23:38BRIAN SINGS OPERATIC LOVE SONG
0:23:38 > 0:23:39HE WHISTLES
0:23:39 > 0:23:41HE HUMS MELODY
0:23:41 > 0:23:42HE WHISTLES
0:23:42 > 0:23:44HE IMITATES STATIC
0:23:44 > 0:23:47# Lady in red. #
0:23:47 > 0:23:48Now, what are those?
0:23:48 > 0:23:50LAUGHTER
0:23:50 > 0:23:53KEN: I think the pandas have started having sex,
0:23:53 > 0:23:56but I don't think they make that much noise about it.
0:23:56 > 0:24:00They don't really get very, sort of, you know...horny.
0:24:00 > 0:24:02- No.- It takes a lot to get them going.- Yeah.
0:24:02 > 0:24:06Do you know you came top in a poll of the sexiest bearded men?
0:24:06 > 0:24:09- Did I really? - Yeah, I heard about it somewhere.
0:24:09 > 0:24:11I mean, you were only running against Osama bin Laden.
0:24:14 > 0:24:16APPLAUSE
0:24:16 > 0:24:22This is the news that Yang Guang, Edinburgh Zoo's male panda,
0:24:22 > 0:24:26has had his radio switched from Classic FM to Smooth Radio
0:24:26 > 0:24:28to help get him in the mood to mate.
0:24:28 > 0:24:30- You didn't say that, did you? - No, we didn't, no.
0:24:30 > 0:24:32LAUGHTER
0:24:32 > 0:24:34What sort of music do pandas find sexy?
0:24:34 > 0:24:39Well, I would have thought... sort of reggae, early ska.
0:24:39 > 0:24:42- Is it dubstep? - I don't know what that is.
0:24:44 > 0:24:46London grime?
0:24:46 > 0:24:50Well, according to the Independent, he now enjoys:
0:24:53 > 0:24:55How else have keepers tried
0:24:55 > 0:24:59to get Yang Guang ready to make love to his partner, Tian Tian?
0:24:59 > 0:25:01Haven't they given them a special diet?
0:25:01 > 0:25:04No, it's this.
0:25:08 > 0:25:12That's amazing. Me and the wife do it exactly the same, every day.
0:25:14 > 0:25:15She's going to kill me for that!
0:25:15 > 0:25:18I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that.
0:25:18 > 0:25:21What, you get pandas' urine...?
0:25:21 > 0:25:23They keep it in the fridge.
0:25:23 > 0:25:26- Oh, right.- It's a big turn-on, love.
0:25:26 > 0:25:28It's been dabbed around Yang Guang's enclosure.
0:25:28 > 0:25:31It's amazing, isn't it?
0:25:31 > 0:25:35Can't you go down there, Brian, and take matters into your own hands?
0:25:35 > 0:25:37I think so.
0:25:37 > 0:25:39I mean, I've had yetis.
0:25:41 > 0:25:44How abominable was he?
0:25:44 > 0:25:48What have gorillas been in the news for this week?
0:25:48 > 0:25:50Two children...
0:25:50 > 0:25:54- Two children.- ..were standing in front of their enclosure with bananas,
0:25:54 > 0:25:59and the gorilla went nuts, rightly so,
0:25:59 > 0:26:01and was banging on the glass and...
0:26:01 > 0:26:04Brilliant, brilliant, Bridget, you've got it.
0:26:04 > 0:26:08A gorilla called Motaba has been indulging in a bit of what is
0:26:08 > 0:26:10popularly called photo-bombing.
0:26:10 > 0:26:12Here he is.
0:26:12 > 0:26:15LAUGHTER
0:26:18 > 0:26:21This is the news that Edinburgh Zoo's pandas
0:26:21 > 0:26:23may be about to mate.
0:26:23 > 0:26:24According to the Telegraph,
0:26:24 > 0:26:28if the mating doesn't take place, the zoo will attempt...
0:26:33 > 0:26:36- He's not the president of North Korea, is he?- No. Not at the moment.
0:26:36 > 0:26:38- No, I'm getting mixed up.- Yeah.
0:26:38 > 0:26:42I mean, that's a traumatising experience for both a panda
0:26:42 > 0:26:44and the work experience boy.
0:26:47 > 0:26:50And here's your next noise clue. Here we go.
0:26:50 > 0:26:53Ka-ching!
0:26:53 > 0:26:54Boo!
0:26:54 > 0:26:56LAUGHTER
0:26:56 > 0:26:59- This is the banker. - BRIDGET: Yes, Jim, James...
0:26:59 > 0:27:00- Crosby.- Crosby.- Yep.
0:27:00 > 0:27:03So there were three bankers who were finally in HBOS,
0:27:03 > 0:27:07which is Halifax-Bank of Scotland, which collapsed spectacularly
0:27:07 > 0:27:09and had to be bailed out by the taxpayer,
0:27:09 > 0:27:11and the three people in charge have finally,
0:27:11 > 0:27:13after all these years, been found guilty,
0:27:13 > 0:27:15and the Parliamentary Standards Committee
0:27:15 > 0:27:17were incredibly cross with them,
0:27:17 > 0:27:20and a banker has offered to give his knighthood back.
0:27:20 > 0:27:23- Gosh, you're a mine of information! - If he was a mine of information,
0:27:23 > 0:27:25Margaret Thatcher would have closed him down years ago.
0:27:25 > 0:27:27LAUGHTER
0:27:27 > 0:27:30APPLAUSE
0:27:30 > 0:27:31Well, this...
0:27:31 > 0:27:33What was interesting about this man, James Crosby,
0:27:33 > 0:27:35is, as well as being in charge of HBOS,
0:27:35 > 0:27:38he was deputy chairman of the Financial Services Authority,
0:27:38 > 0:27:41which was meant to look into scandals in the City, and, amazingly,
0:27:41 > 0:27:43he didn't see his own.
0:27:43 > 0:27:46Why are we saying that that's a great thing for him to do?
0:27:46 > 0:27:49It doesn't really seem... I mean, are titles very important?
0:27:49 > 0:27:52KEN: John Lennon returned his gong, didn't he, so it's a good precedent.
0:27:52 > 0:27:55BRIDGET: Yeah, and I lost my title when I got married,
0:27:55 > 0:27:56it didn't bother me at all.
0:27:56 > 0:27:58- What were you?- Miss.
0:28:00 > 0:28:02Ceausescu was stripped of his knighthood
0:28:02 > 0:28:04the day before he was executed.
0:28:04 > 0:28:06For mass murder.
0:28:06 > 0:28:08Yes, but he must have been thinking,
0:28:08 > 0:28:11"Oh, God, the knighthood's gone. Oh, well, tomorrow's another day."
0:28:13 > 0:28:17Why does he want to be stripped? You've answered that.
0:28:17 > 0:28:20He's been roundly panned by everyone for destroying HBOS.
0:28:20 > 0:28:21Paxman called him:
0:28:25 > 0:28:28The Parliamentary Commission on Banking Standards
0:28:28 > 0:28:29described him as:
0:28:33 > 0:28:37And worst of all, he's been widely labelled:
0:28:39 > 0:28:42That's a title you'd like to lose, isn't it?
0:28:42 > 0:28:46Ian, as well as his knighthood, what's Sir James kindly giving back?
0:28:46 > 0:28:47He's giving back some of his pension.
0:28:47 > 0:28:5125% of his pension, so he's got to get by on 400 grand a year.
0:28:51 > 0:28:53God knows how he'll manage.
0:28:53 > 0:28:55It's tough, isn't it, Ken?
0:28:55 > 0:28:57You tried.
0:29:00 > 0:29:04Well, me ducks, he's kindly giving back 30% of his annual
0:29:04 > 0:29:06pension every year until he dies.
0:29:06 > 0:29:09Though that still leaves him taking 400,000 a year
0:29:09 > 0:29:11or, in other words, the piss.
0:29:14 > 0:29:18APPLAUSE
0:29:18 > 0:29:21This is Sir James Crosby, or, as he will henceforth be known,
0:29:21 > 0:29:27that idiot who screwed up HBOS. Some City analysts were shocked
0:29:27 > 0:29:30that a banker was prepared to give up 30% of his pension.
0:29:30 > 0:29:34Even after that, he'll still be worth £400,000 a year.
0:29:34 > 0:29:37I mean, that's assuming it's invested by people
0:29:37 > 0:29:40who know more about it than he does.
0:29:40 > 0:29:42Which means at the end of this round,
0:29:42 > 0:29:44it's, er...
0:29:44 > 0:29:48three to Bridget and Paul...
0:29:48 > 0:29:50- Yes.- Yes.
0:29:50 > 0:29:54And therefore to Ken and Ian, you're four.
0:29:59 > 0:30:01Very tight.
0:30:04 > 0:30:07- Time now for the Odd One Out round.- It's you!
0:30:10 > 0:30:13Just one between you this week.
0:30:13 > 0:30:15Liz Hurley, Carina Trimingham,
0:30:15 > 0:30:18George Osborne and a snow car.
0:30:18 > 0:30:21BRIDGET: Is it the car made of snow...because the other three
0:30:21 > 0:30:23pollute the atmosphere?
0:30:25 > 0:30:29Is it actually a car covered in snow or made out of snow?
0:30:29 > 0:30:31I don't know why I'm asking Brian!
0:30:31 > 0:30:35- He might know.- I don't, I've lost my card.- Make it up.
0:30:35 > 0:30:37I haven't a clue.
0:30:37 > 0:30:39OK...
0:30:39 > 0:30:41LAUGHTER
0:30:43 > 0:30:45APPLAUSE
0:30:47 > 0:30:49We are now rudderless.
0:30:51 > 0:30:54If any of you ever escape from this environment, send help.
0:30:58 > 0:30:59Have I asked the question yet?
0:30:59 > 0:31:02Ian asked, is that a model of a car in snow,
0:31:02 > 0:31:04or is it a car covered in snow?
0:31:04 > 0:31:07It's a car made of snow.
0:31:07 > 0:31:08Is it to do with people in prison?
0:31:08 > 0:31:12Carina Trimingham went to visit Chris Huhne, who's in jail.
0:31:12 > 0:31:17- No, it isn't.- No, but I just wanted to say Chris Huhne's in jail again.
0:31:17 > 0:31:19KEN: Liz Hurley's then-partner
0:31:19 > 0:31:22- got done in a small crime in a car, didn't he?- Yeah.
0:31:22 > 0:31:24- Hugh Grant.- Yes.
0:31:24 > 0:31:26You've got to name names, don't worry about Leveson.
0:31:26 > 0:31:29- I'll protect you. - LAUGHTER
0:31:29 > 0:31:34Either George Osborne has had an illicit affair or the car.
0:31:34 > 0:31:38Now, if you had to have sex with one of those two, which would you go for?
0:31:39 > 0:31:41- BUZZER - We think it's the car.
0:31:45 > 0:31:47- For the reason I gave?- No, no.
0:31:47 > 0:31:50BRIDGET: Osborne parked in a disabled bay this week
0:31:50 > 0:31:52in McDonald's and he got a ticket.
0:31:52 > 0:31:55The car that's made out of snow was only a temporary problem
0:31:55 > 0:31:57because it melted.
0:31:58 > 0:32:00- What's her car offence?- Liz Hurley?
0:32:00 > 0:32:04Hugh Grant. Oh, well... there's a connection.
0:32:04 > 0:32:05I don't think she was there,
0:32:05 > 0:32:07that's part of the reason why the offence occurred.
0:32:09 > 0:32:11- I think, I-I... - Yeah, go on, tell us.
0:32:11 > 0:32:13Gentlemen... L-Ladies and gentlemen,
0:32:13 > 0:32:16I have to say that I'm actually losing my mind at the moment.
0:32:16 > 0:32:19I think we've gone way past that event.
0:32:19 > 0:32:21They've all received a parking ticket,
0:32:21 > 0:32:24apart from George Osborne, who didn't,
0:32:24 > 0:32:26because he can park wherever he likes.
0:32:26 > 0:32:29According to the Mirror - the Mirror know - he parked his...
0:32:35 > 0:32:37Which Osborne clearly isn't, as we can see here...
0:32:37 > 0:32:41MUSIC: "Eye Of The Tiger" by Survivor
0:32:41 > 0:32:44# Just a man and his will to survive
0:32:47 > 0:32:51# So many times it happens too fast
0:32:51 > 0:32:54# You trade your passion for glory... #
0:32:58 > 0:33:00APPLAUSE
0:33:00 > 0:33:02SPEECH DROWNED BY APPLAUSE
0:33:02 > 0:33:04It's a real shame he wasn't any good,
0:33:04 > 0:33:06because, beforehand, he was so excited.
0:33:08 > 0:33:10Sorry.
0:33:15 > 0:33:18That's the Olympic legacy in one clip.
0:33:19 > 0:33:23Carina Trimingham, Chris Huhne's girlfriend,
0:33:23 > 0:33:27was given a £110 penalty for parking in a permit holder's bay
0:33:27 > 0:33:30while visiting him at Wandsworth Prison.
0:33:30 > 0:33:32- I went to Ford once. - You went to what, love?
0:33:32 > 0:33:35- Ford Open Prison.- Did you? - Yeah, it's very nice in there.
0:33:37 > 0:33:38What were you done for?
0:33:40 > 0:33:44No, really, what were you done for? Just laughing it off like that.
0:33:44 > 0:33:47Unless you feel you've paid your debt to society?
0:33:47 > 0:33:50I just don't feel we should go back. I've been rehabilitated.
0:33:50 > 0:33:52As what?
0:33:53 > 0:33:55No, he's in...
0:33:55 > 0:33:58The governor said, "I don't want you to get the impression
0:33:58 > 0:34:01"that this place is full of middle-class prisoners."
0:34:01 > 0:34:02And as I left, one of them said,
0:34:02 > 0:34:04"We've got a bridge club here. Do you fancy playing?"
0:34:04 > 0:34:07He's in Leyhill Open Prison in Gloucestershire,
0:34:07 > 0:34:08which has been described as...
0:34:10 > 0:34:13I usually prefer the Ritz. Though not this week,
0:34:13 > 0:34:16it must have been like that episode of Fawlty Towers in there.
0:34:21 > 0:34:25Liz Hurley was recently given £240 worth of parking tickets
0:34:25 > 0:34:28when she left her car on the streets of Mayfair for four days,
0:34:28 > 0:34:32after she had forgotten where she had parked it.
0:34:32 > 0:34:34Apparently, it was down to the Sun newspaper,
0:34:34 > 0:34:36who reported that they:
0:34:39 > 0:34:41God, they're good! Aren't they?
0:34:41 > 0:34:43I wonder how they'd done it.
0:34:43 > 0:34:47I wonder if they used any sort of technology?
0:34:47 > 0:34:49Rich people don't behave like you and I -
0:34:49 > 0:34:51all my money goes on my animals.
0:34:51 > 0:34:54We don't know about leaving a little car here and a little car there.
0:34:54 > 0:34:57- What animals do you have? - He's got 3,000 animals.
0:34:57 > 0:34:59Yes, thousands of animals, yes.
0:34:59 > 0:35:00- And so we just...- What...?
0:35:02 > 0:35:06- What are they?- Are you expecting a flood?- I have to tell you now...
0:35:06 > 0:35:08Should we not know?
0:35:12 > 0:35:13They have all received
0:35:13 > 0:35:15a parking ticket,
0:35:15 > 0:35:17apart from George Osborne,
0:35:17 > 0:35:20who didn't, because he can park wherever he likes.
0:35:20 > 0:35:22George Osborne's car was parked illegally
0:35:22 > 0:35:25when he went to get a meal in McDonald's.
0:35:25 > 0:35:26Well, as a Chancellor,
0:35:26 > 0:35:30he's used to opening boxes with unpleasant surprises inside!
0:35:32 > 0:35:37Osborne stopped at McDonald's just off the M4 as he returned from...
0:35:40 > 0:35:43Where a group of toddlers pointed out the holes
0:35:43 > 0:35:45in his deficit reduction plan.
0:35:47 > 0:35:49- It's time now for the missing words...- Oh, good.
0:35:49 > 0:35:53..which this week features as its guest publication
0:35:53 > 0:35:57my own local paper, the Barnsley Chronicle.
0:35:57 > 0:35:59Of course, it's not all just about Barnsley.
0:35:59 > 0:36:02They've got a foreign correspondent based in Wakefield.
0:36:04 > 0:36:05And we start with:
0:36:09 > 0:36:12- Breed with humans. No. - Not breed with humans?
0:36:15 > 0:36:17This is a lovely series.
0:36:17 > 0:36:20This is "Choo-choo"... Michael Portillo's
0:36:20 > 0:36:22proposed filming in south Yorkshire,
0:36:22 > 0:36:24which, according to the Barnsley Chronicle:
0:36:28 > 0:36:29I should think by then,
0:36:29 > 0:36:33they'll have had time to clear away the bunting and party balloons.
0:36:33 > 0:36:35And next:
0:36:38 > 0:36:41Thatcher!
0:36:42 > 0:36:46- Just giving Ken a bad time. - Don't forget, we're in Yorkshire.
0:36:52 > 0:36:54I didn't know it had died.
0:36:54 > 0:36:57- It's a piece of wood. There's a hole in it.- Yes.
0:36:57 > 0:37:01And you put a piece of wood inside and it sticks out.
0:37:01 > 0:37:03And you've got a great big stick here and you kind of hit it,
0:37:03 > 0:37:06and it used to go right up in the air and then wham!
0:37:06 > 0:37:10You could hit a farmer or a policeman from 100 yards.
0:37:10 > 0:37:13- I think I've seen this. Bang, like that?- That's it.
0:37:13 > 0:37:17It's a bloody good weapon. They could use it in North Korea.
0:37:17 > 0:37:18And next:
0:37:25 > 0:37:26Confront Murdoch.
0:37:28 > 0:37:30- Buy some curtains.- Yes!
0:37:30 > 0:37:34- Brilliant.- Buy some curtains?
0:37:34 > 0:37:38- Did you say buy some curtains? - Yes, I did.- No, that's a crap answer.
0:37:43 > 0:37:45Well...
0:37:45 > 0:37:47Isn't that what you said?
0:37:47 > 0:37:49- Did you say that?- Yes.
0:37:49 > 0:37:52- Give the point back! I'm sorry.- And next:
0:37:56 > 0:37:59- To be remade.- Yes.
0:37:59 > 0:38:02According to the Telegraph,
0:38:02 > 0:38:07Blake's 7 wouldn't have been a cult hit without guest appearances by
0:38:07 > 0:38:12Julian Glover, Roy Kinnear, and, of course, legendary Brian Blessed.
0:38:12 > 0:38:17You've added the word "legendary"!
0:38:18 > 0:38:20I was Vultan in Flash Gordon.
0:38:20 > 0:38:24- Yeah, I remember that bit. - I was a sex symbol.
0:38:24 > 0:38:28I got 28 million letters a bloody week.
0:38:30 > 0:38:31And finally:
0:38:34 > 0:38:36They don't like coming back,
0:38:36 > 0:38:39because it was so wonderful up there, and then they've come back.
0:38:39 > 0:38:40They've stood on the moon.
0:38:40 > 0:38:42They've looked at the blue and green planet
0:38:42 > 0:38:46spinning in the middle of the black velvet around it and all the stars,
0:38:46 > 0:38:48as if casually tossed against a sort of...
0:38:48 > 0:38:52Oh, I don't know what I'm talking about. Is it headache?
0:38:52 > 0:38:54The answer is:
0:38:56 > 0:38:59This is the newly discovered transcripts of Apollo 10,
0:38:59 > 0:39:02which feature the mission commander saying:
0:39:06 > 0:39:09I've always thought the first shit in space
0:39:09 > 0:39:12was going to be Richard Branson.
0:39:12 > 0:39:15Do you want me to tell my story?
0:39:15 > 0:39:17You might as well.
0:39:17 > 0:39:21No, he says no! He knows what it is.
0:39:21 > 0:39:24He knows what it is.
0:39:24 > 0:39:29So, the final scores are... Bridget and Paul have got six.
0:39:29 > 0:39:33And my two friends on the right - the ex-Lord Mayor Mr Livingstone
0:39:33 > 0:39:36and Ian Hislop - they've got six!
0:39:36 > 0:39:37A wonderful draw!
0:39:40 > 0:39:41APPLAUSE
0:39:41 > 0:39:43SPEECH DROWNED BY APPLAUSE
0:39:46 > 0:39:48That felt really good - someone referring to me and Ken as,
0:39:48 > 0:39:50"My two friends on the right."
0:39:52 > 0:39:58- Do I continue now, then, Paul? - That's up to your agent.
0:40:02 > 0:40:06On which note, we say thank you to our panellists -
0:40:06 > 0:40:10Ian Hislop and Ken Livingstone, Paul Merton and Bridget Christie!
0:40:10 > 0:40:12APPLAUSE
0:40:17 > 0:40:20And I leave you with news that in Alabama,
0:40:20 > 0:40:24a group of gay rights activists campaign for same-sex marriage.
0:40:28 > 0:40:32In southwest China, a cormorant salesman is advised by locals
0:40:32 > 0:40:34to "go and get those looked at".
0:40:37 > 0:40:41And the row over the cost of Lady Thatcher's funeral escalates,
0:40:41 > 0:40:43with the delivery of the hearse.
0:40:46 > 0:40:50Good night, and don't let the bastards grind you down!
0:40:50 > 0:40:52APPLAUSE
0:41:19 > 0:41:23Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:41:27 > 0:41:30And so our little thing is, which won't be shown...
0:41:30 > 0:41:31You can see my hands.
0:41:31 > 0:41:34We used to play marbles and we had ball bearings
0:41:34 > 0:41:38and we had glass arrows and we had glass marbles in the war years.
0:41:38 > 0:41:40And as a good marble player...
0:41:40 > 0:41:42A poor marble player did that,
0:41:42 > 0:41:45but a good marble player could turn -
0:41:45 > 0:41:47which is rather handsome -
0:41:47 > 0:41:50put the marble just there, between the thumb and finger and shoot.
0:41:50 > 0:41:52And you had immense accuracy.
0:41:52 > 0:41:55Have you lost any of those marbles since then?