0:00:02 > 0:00:09This programme contains some strong language.
0:00:26 > 0:00:30CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:00:37 > 0:00:39Good evening, welcome to Have I Got News For You.
0:00:39 > 0:00:40I'm Alexander Armstrong.
0:00:40 > 0:00:44In the news this week, at a party in Berlin there are joyous scenes as
0:00:44 > 0:00:48both sides celebrate the anniversary of the end of the Cold War.
0:00:59 > 0:01:02In the kitchen of a Beijing restaurant, there's evidence
0:01:02 > 0:01:04that the temperature of the new deep fat fryer
0:01:04 > 0:01:05may have been a little low.
0:01:14 > 0:01:17And at his family bonfire party in the Cotswolds, Richard Hammond
0:01:17 > 0:01:20regrets putting Jeremy Clarkson in charge of the fireworks.
0:01:30 > 0:01:33On Paul's team tonight is an MEP whose controversial remarks about
0:01:33 > 0:01:36women drew the media's attention away from the UKIP party conference,
0:01:36 > 0:01:38so this is our chance to thank him in person.
0:01:38 > 0:01:40Please welcome Godfrey Bloom.
0:01:46 > 0:01:47And with Ian tonight is a journalist
0:01:47 > 0:01:50and broadcaster who once said about sexism, "You still get some
0:01:50 > 0:01:53"perfectly harmless old man looking down your top and saying
0:01:53 > 0:01:54"you're a healthy young lady."
0:01:54 > 0:01:56So, presumably, she's already met Godfrey.
0:01:56 > 0:01:59Please welcome Victoria Coren Mitchell.
0:01:59 > 0:02:01APPLAUSE
0:02:02 > 0:02:04And we start with the biggest stories of the week.
0:02:04 > 0:02:06Paul and Godfrey, here's your question.
0:02:06 > 0:02:09It's a big news story but, legally, we are not allowed to comment on it,
0:02:09 > 0:02:13so off you go, good luck with that.
0:02:13 > 0:02:17I don't know who these people are.
0:02:17 > 0:02:19I have no idea what that building is.
0:02:19 > 0:02:21Who is...? That's the Prime Minister.
0:02:21 > 0:02:22I have no idea...I don't know.
0:02:24 > 0:02:27How dare you link the Prime Minister with this trial?
0:02:27 > 0:02:30I didn't think I had but...
0:02:30 > 0:02:32It's a fair cop, guvnor.
0:02:32 > 0:02:35I can't say who these people are or I can say who they are or...?
0:02:35 > 0:02:39- You're right first time, you can't. - I can't say who they are, OK.
0:02:39 > 0:02:42- We're allowed to report the facts. - Oh, right, OK.
0:02:42 > 0:02:441066 was the Battle of Hastings.
0:02:44 > 0:02:46LAUGHTER
0:02:46 > 0:02:50I know the BBC are very jumpy about saying anything at all about that
0:02:50 > 0:02:54but as one of the few people who the Attorney General has said has
0:02:54 > 0:02:56not committed any contempt,
0:02:56 > 0:02:59I would say my judgment on what you can say is better than theirs.
0:02:59 > 0:03:01Yeah, I think that's right.
0:03:01 > 0:03:04Wandsworth Prison is very easy to get to for me.
0:03:04 > 0:03:06I can visit two or three times a week.
0:03:06 > 0:03:09You should make all your comments in code and then it could be
0:03:09 > 0:03:11on the BBC before anyone notices what you're saying.
0:03:11 > 0:03:14Yes, I could say, ah, Fraulein, I thought
0:03:14 > 0:03:17ze cathedral was on ze other side of ze square.
0:03:17 > 0:03:19LAUGHTER
0:03:19 > 0:03:20How dare you!
0:03:20 > 0:03:23The pigeons fly high above Krakow tonight.
0:03:24 > 0:03:28The fat lady has bought her dinner but she does not want dessert.
0:03:30 > 0:03:33- There you are. Nobody can go to prison for saying that.- No.
0:03:33 > 0:03:36You can get switched off but not sent to prison.
0:03:36 > 0:03:39Well, there is one High Court case we can talk about.
0:03:39 > 0:03:42Did anyone see Bernie Ecclestone turning up?
0:03:42 > 0:03:43Oh, yes, it was great.
0:03:43 > 0:03:46He was baffled by the concept of revolving doors.
0:03:46 > 0:03:47- Here he goes.- In he goes.
0:03:47 > 0:03:49So far, so good, you see?
0:03:49 > 0:03:51Now, just walk out.
0:03:51 > 0:03:54LAUGHTER
0:03:54 > 0:03:56No, no, no, no.
0:04:02 > 0:04:04Now, he can't get in, that door's locked.
0:04:04 > 0:04:07He's got to wait for somebody to go and get him now, look.
0:04:08 > 0:04:11This is the trial of Rebekah Brooks and Andy Coulson.
0:04:11 > 0:04:13Since we can't make jokes about any of the defendants,
0:04:13 > 0:04:15let's make some jokes about you, Godfrey.
0:04:18 > 0:04:21Here's what you got up to 30 years ago on your stag night.
0:04:24 > 0:04:27You can't see it but she's just withdrawn the whip.
0:04:29 > 0:04:32Oh, happy days, happy days.
0:04:33 > 0:04:34For legal reasons,
0:04:34 > 0:04:37we're not allowed to talk about the News International case at all.
0:04:37 > 0:04:40So this week it was reported that the Mirror Group is...
0:04:40 > 0:04:42Hang on, are you just going to let that photo pass?!
0:04:42 > 0:04:44No, we can go back to it, let's go back.
0:04:46 > 0:04:48Which one are you?
0:04:49 > 0:04:52That was before my operation, in all fairness.
0:04:58 > 0:05:01Which part of your body was the operation on?
0:05:02 > 0:05:05- Well, you get two guesses on that one, Ian.- The brain.
0:05:06 > 0:05:09Did the woman come along just to do that bit
0:05:09 > 0:05:11or was she one of your friends there for the evening?
0:05:11 > 0:05:13GODFREY: She came along to do that.
0:05:13 > 0:05:17I think my brother-in-law had a go as well so...
0:05:18 > 0:05:20Fortunately, somebody stumped up for it. It wasn't me.
0:05:20 > 0:05:23It was a chum of mine paid.
0:05:23 > 0:05:26I thought she was very entrepreneurial, really.
0:05:27 > 0:05:28So...
0:05:28 > 0:05:30LAUGHTER
0:05:30 > 0:05:32This week it was reported that the Mirror Group is now
0:05:32 > 0:05:34facing 55 claims of phone hacking so
0:05:34 > 0:05:36before we're not allowed to talk about that case,
0:05:36 > 0:05:40can I just say Piers Morgan is a total arse.
0:05:40 > 0:05:42APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:05:42 > 0:05:45Piers did tweet that I should be put in jail for two years
0:05:45 > 0:05:47at the beginning of last week,
0:05:47 > 0:05:49saying I'd committed contempt of court.
0:05:49 > 0:05:52He said that in the morning before the Attorney General ruled that I hadn't.
0:05:52 > 0:05:54So in fact, Piers was in contempt
0:05:54 > 0:05:57and probably should go to jail for two years.
0:05:59 > 0:06:02Ian and Victoria, here is your news story.
0:06:02 > 0:06:04That's Rebekah Brooks!
0:06:06 > 0:06:08- Who's that?- Oh, Lord.
0:06:10 > 0:06:12It's Theresa May, but it's like looking in a mirror.
0:06:12 > 0:06:13I'm always doing that.
0:06:13 > 0:06:16What? It's just fallen off, the shoe?
0:06:16 > 0:06:20After the photograph of Mr Bloom, I was so relieved to see a burka.
0:06:21 > 0:06:23Just thank goodness.
0:06:23 > 0:06:25You know the world is still run by men
0:06:25 > 0:06:28when any women are wearing either a burka or hot pants.
0:06:28 > 0:06:32Feminism will have won when everyone is just in a nice comfy
0:06:32 > 0:06:34knee-length dress with a cardigan.
0:06:36 > 0:06:38I couldn't agree more.
0:06:39 > 0:06:44So, I think the story was about a man dressed in a burka.
0:06:44 > 0:06:45Yes, ironically,
0:06:45 > 0:06:49the first person ever to be liberated by wearing a burka. A man.
0:06:49 > 0:06:52APPLAUSE
0:06:52 > 0:06:54He was tagged, wasn't he?
0:06:54 > 0:06:56He was under really close surveillance so he managed to
0:06:56 > 0:07:00nip into a mosque in Acton, change into a burka and run for it.
0:07:00 > 0:07:03I was interested that he had these curfews. There are eight of them.
0:07:03 > 0:07:04It's called the T-Pimms.
0:07:04 > 0:07:08- It's T-Pimms o'clock, isn't it, Xander?- It is just about, yeah.
0:07:08 > 0:07:10Oh, someone's absconded.
0:07:12 > 0:07:15- Is G4S in charge?- It is indeed.
0:07:15 > 0:07:18I didn't want to create any more legal problems.
0:07:18 > 0:07:20This is him before and after.
0:07:20 > 0:07:22We can see him going into the mosque on the left.
0:07:22 > 0:07:24That's him leaving the mosque on the right.
0:07:24 > 0:07:26There was something ironic about the timing of this incident.
0:07:26 > 0:07:28Earlier that day, he absconded.
0:07:28 > 0:07:31The case against him for tampering with his tag had been dropped.
0:07:31 > 0:07:34They said he wasn't guilty of tampering with it.
0:07:36 > 0:07:39Got a bit more now, though, haven't they?
0:07:40 > 0:07:43According to the Times, the tags had been...
0:07:48 > 0:07:50Criminal mastermind.
0:07:56 > 0:07:57Five times a day?
0:07:57 > 0:08:01That's going to work any tag loose.
0:08:01 > 0:08:03You can't tell, he's got a burka on. The tag may still be on.
0:08:03 > 0:08:06- He might be limping. - We've got to presume it's not.
0:08:06 > 0:08:08Otherwise they would've brought him in. Oh, it's G4S.
0:08:11 > 0:08:15I like the idea of being subjected to wiggling, like your stag night, Mr Bloom.
0:08:15 > 0:08:19There was a lot of wiggling that night, I can tell you.
0:08:19 > 0:08:21- Can we see the picture again?- Yeah.
0:08:23 > 0:08:28VICTORIA: Bless her, she's doing such a good job of smiling. Amazing.
0:08:28 > 0:08:31GODFREY: I was a good-looking dude in those days, Victoria.
0:08:31 > 0:08:34Well, you're very good-looking now but it's possible that standing
0:08:34 > 0:08:38there in just her pants while a man in a suit rubs his face in her tits
0:08:38 > 0:08:40wasn't the greatest night of her life. It's possible.
0:08:40 > 0:08:43LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:08:44 > 0:08:46Well, she got 100 quid for it
0:08:46 > 0:08:49so she must have thought it was reasonably OK.
0:08:49 > 0:08:51EMBARRASSED SILENCE
0:08:51 > 0:08:54That's the UKIP policy.
0:08:56 > 0:08:59If you charge 100 quid for it, it's fine.
0:08:59 > 0:09:02Back to Mohammed for a second...
0:09:02 > 0:09:04Oh, there's a gear change!
0:09:05 > 0:09:08As you said, G4S were the people who provided the tags.
0:09:08 > 0:09:09They are in charge of the monitoring.
0:09:09 > 0:09:12The Serious Fraud Office has launched a criminal investigation
0:09:12 > 0:09:15into G4S, along with another company, Serco,
0:09:15 > 0:09:17in relation to tagging. The Guardian explains...
0:09:26 > 0:09:30As I say, G4S deny any wrongdoing at all.
0:09:30 > 0:09:35And those 3,000 nonexistent people all voted Labour in Falkirk.
0:09:35 > 0:09:37Exactly, they all registered...!
0:09:38 > 0:09:41Meanwhile, going back to burkas, just for a second.
0:09:41 > 0:09:43Ken Clarke waded into the debate.
0:09:43 > 0:09:46What did he have to say about burkas in court?
0:09:46 > 0:09:49He said that it's difficult to get a fair trial
0:09:49 > 0:09:51if you're wearing "a kind of bag".
0:09:51 > 0:09:54- That's it.- Although, I was thinking about that
0:09:54 > 0:09:56and I think maybe he's been misunderstood.
0:09:56 > 0:09:59Because actually, all clothes are a kind of bag.
0:09:59 > 0:10:02If his dad had been wearing a kind of bag, we wouldn't have Ken Clarke.
0:10:04 > 0:10:05It strikes me.
0:10:07 > 0:10:09APPLAUSE
0:10:09 > 0:10:11Clarke also said people should be allowed to wear...
0:10:13 > 0:10:16Although most people do draw the line at these.
0:10:16 > 0:10:18Is she in a production of Joseph?
0:10:20 > 0:10:21According to the Times,
0:10:21 > 0:10:25the over-the-knee boot is the key style for autumn/winter 2013.
0:10:25 > 0:10:28- But I don't need to tell you that, of course, Ian!- Oh, yes!
0:10:29 > 0:10:30I have them on under this desk.
0:10:32 > 0:10:33XANDER BLOWS NOSE
0:10:33 > 0:10:36- Sorry, Alexander, are you with us? - Yeah, I'm with you.
0:10:36 > 0:10:40- I know that habit of yours is a problem, but...!- Oh...
0:10:44 > 0:10:48Finally, who would like to see a clip of Boris Johnson letting one go?
0:10:52 > 0:10:53- Fire!- Fire!
0:10:57 > 0:11:01- There we are. This is the male terror...- He works for The Mail?!
0:11:04 > 0:11:06That is a story.
0:11:06 > 0:11:09..the male terror suspect who escaped by putting on a burka
0:11:09 > 0:11:12and sneaking out of a mosque disguised as a woman.
0:11:12 > 0:11:14You'd think he'd have been eable...
0:11:14 > 0:11:16HE STAMMERS
0:11:17 > 0:11:20You'd think he'd have been easy to spot but to be fair the...to the...
0:11:20 > 0:11:22Aaahhhh!
0:11:23 > 0:11:25You're right, that habit really...
0:11:25 > 0:11:27really getting the better of me!
0:11:27 > 0:11:29You'd think he would be easy to spot, but to be fair to the
0:11:29 > 0:11:33security services, they were far too busy reading all our e-mails.
0:11:33 > 0:11:36Boris Johnson has branded the terrorist's escape
0:11:36 > 0:11:38whilst dressed as a woman as absurd...
0:11:38 > 0:11:40and also highly embarrassing,
0:11:40 > 0:11:42as he'd just tried to chat him up at a bus stop.
0:11:44 > 0:11:48Paul and Godfrey, here's another one for you.
0:11:48 > 0:11:51Yes, this is payday loans.
0:11:51 > 0:11:55She's very happy, look. It's raining fake money where she is.
0:11:55 > 0:11:58- It's something to do with payday loans, I think.- Yeah.
0:11:58 > 0:12:00Do you know what's happened to them this week?
0:12:00 > 0:12:04Some of them have been called before Parliament committees to
0:12:04 > 0:12:07- defend their business. - That's exactly right.
0:12:07 > 0:12:09They were accused of something terrible by Money Saving Expert's
0:12:09 > 0:12:12Martin Lewis at the select committee hearing.
0:12:12 > 0:12:16People were complaining that they were advertising on children's programmes.
0:12:16 > 0:12:19Exactly, he said they were grooming children.
0:12:19 > 0:12:20That's a bit much, isn't it?
0:12:20 > 0:12:22I know they're awful but...
0:12:22 > 0:12:24Do you know why he said that though?
0:12:24 > 0:12:26Cos children see the adverts and say to their parents,
0:12:26 > 0:12:30- "Why don't you borrow some money and then I can have some of it?" - Exactly.
0:12:30 > 0:12:32This happened to my friend, who is a poker player.
0:12:32 > 0:12:35He has a little gold camel for luck that he puts on his cards,
0:12:35 > 0:12:38and one time he was getting his stuff together for a poker tournament
0:12:38 > 0:12:40and he said, "Where's my camel?",
0:12:40 > 0:12:43and his son, who's three, said, "You can convert that old gold into cash."
0:12:44 > 0:12:47Apparently, they're grooming the next generation of borrowers.
0:12:47 > 0:12:49Martin Lewis said...
0:12:52 > 0:12:54Isn't one of them Earl Wonga?
0:12:54 > 0:12:57I don't know if he is an earl. I may have just given him a title.
0:12:57 > 0:12:59I thought maybe that was his Christian name,
0:12:59 > 0:13:01I didn't realise he was a belted earl.
0:13:01 > 0:13:04Oh, no, I think he donated a large sum to the Conservative Party!
0:13:06 > 0:13:08- Do you want to see the cute Wonga puppets?- Yes.- Here they are.
0:13:10 > 0:13:14- IAN:- It's you, Godfrey. - LAUGHTER
0:13:15 > 0:13:19With a couple of what you'd call absolute corkers.
0:13:19 > 0:13:23- So who else rounded on the payday lenders?- Ronnie Corbett.
0:13:23 > 0:13:27Was this the public accounts committee, or a select committee?
0:13:27 > 0:13:30The select committee, they were in front of the select committee
0:13:30 > 0:13:32but Ed Miliband also piled in.
0:13:32 > 0:13:34He described the reality of life for the millions
0:13:34 > 0:13:36living with payday loans. He said it was...
0:13:38 > 0:13:40Much like working with Ed Balls.
0:13:40 > 0:13:45You know how much it costs to borrow £1 for one day from Wonga?
0:13:45 > 0:13:47£1,000.
0:13:47 > 0:13:52It's going to sound pathetic but £6.57 to borrow a pound for a day.
0:13:52 > 0:13:55Do you know what the current interest rate is with Wonga?
0:13:55 > 0:13:57It's in its thousands.
0:13:59 > 0:14:01That's more than the power companies!
0:14:03 > 0:14:06What's the big glitzy film premiere in London?
0:14:06 > 0:14:09- Wonga have made a film. - Absolutely right, Wonga the movie.
0:14:09 > 0:14:12They've released a film featuring people who have borrowed from the firm.
0:14:12 > 0:14:15Unusually for Wonga, there is zero percent interest!
0:14:15 > 0:14:18LAUGHTER
0:14:18 > 0:14:21What do you mean it's a film? You can go and see it at the cinema?
0:14:21 > 0:14:23No, you can't go and see Wonga The Movie!
0:14:25 > 0:14:28You buy your ticket but you have to pay it back by the end.
0:14:29 > 0:14:32Who else was grilled by MPs?
0:14:32 > 0:14:36- Spies.- Spies, the three Secret Service agencies, which are?
0:14:36 > 0:14:37- MI5.- MI6.
0:14:37 > 0:14:39Google.
0:14:41 > 0:14:43Talking of unpopular organisations,
0:14:43 > 0:14:45what have Ryanair been up to this week?
0:14:45 > 0:14:47- They're upgrading, aren't they? - Are they?
0:14:47 > 0:14:49I think they're getting better.
0:14:49 > 0:14:53I think they've put a lavatory in and all sorts of wonderful things.
0:14:53 > 0:14:57They're getting rid of the outdoor seats. Clutching to the wing.
0:14:57 > 0:14:59The head of Ryanair, Michael O'Leary,
0:14:59 > 0:15:02has promised to stop unnecessarily pissing people off.
0:15:04 > 0:15:06He promised to overhaul the website, saying...
0:15:14 > 0:15:17What will you soon be able to do if you pay an extra five quid?
0:15:17 > 0:15:18You can have a number two?
0:15:19 > 0:15:21No, it's more basic than that.
0:15:21 > 0:15:22Number one?
0:15:24 > 0:15:26You can choose your own seat.
0:15:26 > 0:15:29Shall we see how former serious news programme Newsnight
0:15:29 > 0:15:30- interviewed O'Leary?- Yes.
0:15:30 > 0:15:33There we are.
0:15:33 > 0:15:34That's ridiculous!
0:15:34 > 0:15:36You'd never get legroom like that.
0:15:38 > 0:15:39On the subject of air travel,
0:15:39 > 0:15:41what did we learn this week about women pilots?
0:15:41 > 0:15:43VICTORIA: Oh, God.
0:15:43 > 0:15:45I don't know, I'm just dreading where this is going.
0:15:45 > 0:15:47They're better.
0:15:47 > 0:15:49A survey found that 51% of passengers
0:15:49 > 0:15:52wouldn't trust a woman pilot.
0:15:52 > 0:15:54The survey was commissioned by a travel agent who
0:15:54 > 0:15:57surveyed 49 normal people then repeatedly asked Godfrey.
0:15:57 > 0:16:00LAUGHTER
0:16:02 > 0:16:04Godfrey, I'm doing you a terrible disservice.
0:16:04 > 0:16:07I feel sure you are far more enlightened than that.
0:16:07 > 0:16:10I know you've said that women aren't very good drivers,
0:16:10 > 0:16:15but they're much better than men at finding the mustard in the pantry.
0:16:15 > 0:16:17And I wondered, was that a euphemism?
0:16:17 > 0:16:20LAUGHTER
0:16:20 > 0:16:22Have you often found yourself with women,
0:16:22 > 0:16:26and you feel like you have been rummaging for ages in the pantry...?
0:16:26 > 0:16:31She's screaming, "You just can't find the mustard."
0:16:31 > 0:16:34Is that...where that came from?
0:16:34 > 0:16:37Are we talking French or English?
0:16:39 > 0:16:42This is the Parliamentary enquiry which saw a bunch of greedy
0:16:42 > 0:16:45money-grabbing bastards interviewing Wonga.
0:16:45 > 0:16:48There's some dispute as to where the name Wonga comes from.
0:16:48 > 0:16:50For most people it's a slang term for money,
0:16:50 > 0:16:54although for one man, it's the capital of Bongo Bongo Land.
0:16:55 > 0:16:57What did you mean? Do you remember?
0:16:57 > 0:17:00The point that I was making is that it is a rather ridiculous
0:17:00 > 0:17:04thing to send £1 billion a month away when we are closing our hospitals
0:17:04 > 0:17:06and schools to Bongo Bongo Land.
0:17:06 > 0:17:11- It's specifically Africa you meant, isn't it?- Broadly speaking, yes.
0:17:11 > 0:17:14One thing I have been proud of is opening that national debate,
0:17:14 > 0:17:16Bongo or not Bongo.
0:17:16 > 0:17:20So you've influenced, by making a mildly racist remark,
0:17:20 > 0:17:23you've influenced the government into changing its aid policy?
0:17:23 > 0:17:24So it would appear, Ian.
0:17:24 > 0:17:26Well then, that proves you are mad.
0:17:26 > 0:17:30LAUGHTER
0:17:31 > 0:17:35- Now, just a second ago we were talking about air travel.- Yes.
0:17:35 > 0:17:39And talking of flying, a church was in the news this week.
0:17:39 > 0:17:40Anyone know why?
0:17:40 > 0:17:44First airborne church, church that's flying around on a plane?
0:17:44 > 0:17:46This Illinois church was in the news
0:17:46 > 0:17:48not for what it looks like on the ground...
0:17:48 > 0:17:51- What it looks like from the air. - Which is...
0:17:57 > 0:17:59Also this week, a survey revealed that
0:17:59 > 0:18:02the majority of airline passengers are less likely to feel safe
0:18:02 > 0:18:04with a woman pilot at the controls,
0:18:04 > 0:18:06which sounds a bit sexist but to be fair,
0:18:06 > 0:18:08a male pilot can hold his drink better.
0:18:11 > 0:18:14Ian and Victoria, here is another one for you.
0:18:14 > 0:18:15That is a Tory MP.
0:18:17 > 0:18:19That's another one. That's Shapps.
0:18:19 > 0:18:22And that's Ed Miliband, who's clapping his speech.
0:18:23 > 0:18:27No-one else will, he might as well.
0:18:27 > 0:18:29MPs in trouble, isn't it?
0:18:29 > 0:18:32- MPs in trouble, yes. - The top man is Mr Pritchard.
0:18:32 > 0:18:35It is Mr Pritchard, yeah. Mark Pritchard.
0:18:35 > 0:18:38He made some unfortunate remarks to an undercover Daily Telegraph
0:18:38 > 0:18:42reporter about whether he could help setting up a company in Albania,
0:18:42 > 0:18:45and he said he knew everyone, he was very influential,
0:18:45 > 0:18:47and could he have three grand?
0:18:47 > 0:18:52He says that's been wildly misinterpreted as suggesting
0:18:52 > 0:18:54in some way he would take money,
0:18:54 > 0:18:57but he's referred himself to the Parliamentary Standards Committee.
0:18:57 > 0:19:01- He says he wants to prove his innocence. So self-referral?- Yes.
0:19:01 > 0:19:03Someone must look into this man!
0:19:03 > 0:19:05I don't know what he's done,
0:19:05 > 0:19:07but someone should get to the bottom of it.
0:19:07 > 0:19:09Who did he claim was his best friend?
0:19:09 > 0:19:11He said, I like this one, he said he knew the mayor.
0:19:11 > 0:19:13And that he knew a minister in Albania.
0:19:13 > 0:19:15- The Prime Minister. - The Prime Minister.
0:19:15 > 0:19:18He said we could meet the great and the good,
0:19:18 > 0:19:20we will meet the Prime Minister, blah blah.
0:19:20 > 0:19:21Impressive, he even knows his name.
0:19:23 > 0:19:25What do we know about Mr Pritchard?
0:19:25 > 0:19:28Is he the one that was rude to The Speaker in a corridor?
0:19:28 > 0:19:31John Bercow told him to stand aside as he walked down the corridor
0:19:31 > 0:19:35and Mr Pritchard said, "You are not fucking royalty, Mr Speaker."
0:19:37 > 0:19:40Bercow had no alternative but to walk straight between his legs.
0:19:42 > 0:19:46In other denial news, what denial was made on David Cameron's behalf?
0:19:46 > 0:19:49- Someone said he wasn't at a party. - He wasn't at a party...
0:19:49 > 0:19:53- ..and then he was.- Downing Street didn't reply to the question.
0:19:53 > 0:19:56- Matthew Freud, whose party it was, were you there?- I was there.
0:19:56 > 0:19:58- It was lovely.- Tell us all about it.
0:19:58 > 0:20:03If you remember one of those parties, you weren't really there.
0:20:03 > 0:20:05- So the Prime Minister was there. - He was there.
0:20:05 > 0:20:08I don't think he ever said he wasn't, I think Downing Street didn't reply.
0:20:08 > 0:20:10Matthew Freud said he wasn't.
0:20:10 > 0:20:13Matthew Freud initially said that. I suspect he probably just thought,
0:20:13 > 0:20:17- it's my party, my business. - I will lie about it if I want to.
0:20:17 > 0:20:20- Yeah.- Cos it's only the Prime Minister and his PR man.
0:20:20 > 0:20:22Why should we be interested in their relationship?
0:20:22 > 0:20:25I mean, this party, Tony Blair was there.
0:20:25 > 0:20:27Yeah, well, that makes it clean.
0:20:28 > 0:20:31What other guests were there? Genghis Khan?
0:20:32 > 0:20:36Dr Shipman popped in?
0:20:36 > 0:20:40- It was a lovely party.- It WAS a lovely party!- I'm sure it was.
0:20:40 > 0:20:42Did Jimmy Savile do karaoke?
0:20:42 > 0:20:44LAUGHTER
0:20:44 > 0:20:49Anyway, what about Ed Miliband, what has he denied doing?
0:20:49 > 0:20:51Is that about the Falkirk thing?
0:20:51 > 0:20:52It was about Falkirk.
0:20:52 > 0:20:55It's like The Wire. I feel like I missed an episode and now I'm lost.
0:20:55 > 0:20:59The thing that's changed this week is that they said there was vote
0:20:59 > 0:21:02rigging, and there was a witness, and then the union said,
0:21:02 > 0:21:05"No, she's withdrawn her testimony,
0:21:05 > 0:21:07"she said there wasn't any vote rigging."
0:21:07 > 0:21:09So Ed Miliband said, "She's withdrawn her testimony,
0:21:09 > 0:21:11"no need, I won't look into it any further."
0:21:11 > 0:21:13Now the woman has said, "I didn't withdraw my testimony,
0:21:13 > 0:21:16"there was vote rigging and I'm sticking to what I said."
0:21:16 > 0:21:19So people said, "Well, Ed, are you going to reopen your enquiry
0:21:19 > 0:21:21"because this woman says she was leaned on by the unions
0:21:21 > 0:21:22"to change her testimony?"
0:21:22 > 0:21:26And he said, "No, no, absolutely not, I'm just monitoring events.
0:21:26 > 0:21:30"I'm just seeing what is happening. Leave me alone!
0:21:30 > 0:21:34"I'm trying to do my job... which is lose."
0:21:35 > 0:21:38What has Tory MP Grant Shapps denied doing?
0:21:38 > 0:21:41He used to run a company under another name.
0:21:41 > 0:21:44- He was Michael Green. - Yes.
0:21:44 > 0:21:46Nothing dodgy about that at all.
0:21:46 > 0:21:48The company was investigated, wasn't it?
0:21:48 > 0:21:50The police said there may have been fraud
0:21:50 > 0:21:53but we are drawing a line under it, it's all over.
0:21:53 > 0:21:56Do you want to see Grant Shapps being pursued by Michael Crick?
0:21:56 > 0:21:58Is it across open countryside?
0:21:58 > 0:22:01- MICHAEL CRICK:- Stockheath of Surrey?
0:22:01 > 0:22:04There doesn't appear to be any Stockheath anywhere in the world.
0:22:04 > 0:22:07There doesn't appear to be a Stockheath anywhere in the world.
0:22:07 > 0:22:12Was she genuine? Is Richard Wharton of Tektriox New York genuine?
0:22:12 > 0:22:14Is JLM Richards...?
0:22:14 > 0:22:18- PAUL:- Where's Bernie Ecclestone when you need him?
0:22:18 > 0:22:20Godfrey, you've had your time with Crick, haven't you?
0:22:20 > 0:22:24Yes, you handle him with a rolled-up magazine is my way of dealing with Crick.
0:22:24 > 0:22:26- Shall we watch that? That is quite fun.- That is all a bit of fun.
0:22:26 > 0:22:30What do you make of the front cover of your conference brochure
0:22:30 > 0:22:32with no black faces on it?
0:22:32 > 0:22:35What a racist comment is that? How dare you?
0:22:35 > 0:22:37That's an appalling thing to say.
0:22:37 > 0:22:40You're picking people out for the colour of their skin. You disgust me.
0:22:40 > 0:22:42Get out of my way.
0:22:42 > 0:22:44LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:22:44 > 0:22:47I mean, I'm making the point that you haven't got...
0:22:49 > 0:22:52- What is appalling about making that point?- You, sir, are a racist.
0:22:52 > 0:22:54Why am I a racist?
0:22:54 > 0:22:59You take this and you've checked out the colour of people's faces?
0:22:59 > 0:23:01Disgraceful. You disgrace.
0:23:01 > 0:23:04LAUGHTER
0:23:06 > 0:23:10There's a moment there where you come over all Gyles Brandredth.
0:23:10 > 0:23:12Can you rephrase that?!
0:23:12 > 0:23:14LAUGHTER
0:23:18 > 0:23:21I've got it in my head now.
0:23:23 > 0:23:25At the end of that round that is four points each.
0:23:25 > 0:23:29Four points each. Yes! Lovely. Very good.
0:23:34 > 0:23:38And on to round two and in honour of one of our guest's controversial comments
0:23:38 > 0:23:41about women who don't clean behind the fridge, we'll take a look and
0:23:41 > 0:23:45see which stories are lurking behind Godfrey Bloom's Fridge Of News.
0:23:46 > 0:23:49Buzz in when you know what the story is.
0:23:50 > 0:23:52BUZZER
0:23:52 > 0:23:54Yes, Victoria and Ian.
0:23:54 > 0:23:56- It's a rocket, going to Mars. - That's right.
0:23:56 > 0:23:58And the Indians have launched it and the Chinese failed
0:23:58 > 0:24:00and the Indians are going to succeed.
0:24:00 > 0:24:02They're going to get a rocket to go all the way to Mars.
0:24:02 > 0:24:05Absolutely right, an unmanned mission, this was.
0:24:05 > 0:24:08But only to start with. There's going to be people on it eventually.
0:24:08 > 0:24:11Shouldn't they have been on it at the beginning?
0:24:12 > 0:24:15How much does the UK provide to India in aid annually?
0:24:15 > 0:24:17A couple of hundred million?
0:24:17 > 0:24:19280 million, according to the Express.
0:24:19 > 0:24:21How much is India's Mars mission thought to cost?
0:24:21 > 0:24:24280 million.
0:24:24 > 0:24:26£45 million.
0:24:26 > 0:24:28Yes, they've managed to find a way of getting to Mars
0:24:28 > 0:24:31for 0.01% of the cost of our proposed route
0:24:31 > 0:24:33from London to Birmingham.
0:24:36 > 0:24:38Brilliant.
0:24:42 > 0:24:45Talking of space, can anyone tell me the name
0:24:45 > 0:24:47of the British Asteroid early warning system?
0:24:47 > 0:24:49Look Up And Guess!
0:24:49 > 0:24:51Bert!
0:24:54 > 0:24:55Here's Jay.
0:24:55 > 0:24:58According to The Mail, Jay and his wife
0:24:58 > 0:25:01run the UK's International Spaceguard Centre for free
0:25:01 > 0:25:03from their home after the Government
0:25:03 > 0:25:05cut the funding to the National Space Centre
0:25:05 > 0:25:06for the same task in 2012.
0:25:06 > 0:25:08Jay says:
0:25:12 > 0:25:14- Yeah, exactly.- He also puts on a cape and fights crime
0:25:14 > 0:25:16at the weekend!
0:25:16 > 0:25:18- "Let's face it, I'm wonderful!" - Yeah, lovely.
0:25:18 > 0:25:19Fingers on buzzers, teams.
0:25:19 > 0:25:23Let's see what else is behind Godfrey Bloom's Fridge Of News.
0:25:23 > 0:25:25Fridge Of News.
0:25:29 > 0:25:30BUZZER
0:25:30 > 0:25:32Yes, Godfrey and Paul.
0:25:32 > 0:25:34This is a statue of the noted cricket umpire Dickie Bird.
0:25:34 > 0:25:38I'm not quite sure... It's in a northern town. Is it Barnsley?
0:25:38 > 0:25:40But he... This is the finger there.
0:25:40 > 0:25:42That's the signal for the batsman is out.
0:25:42 > 0:25:46But people have been hanging things onto it after weekends
0:25:46 > 0:25:48out in Barnsley.
0:25:48 > 0:25:50And so they've got to make the statue higher.
0:25:50 > 0:25:53They're going to suspend it from a helicopter at a cost
0:25:53 > 0:25:56of £20,000 a minute, but it will be free from the revellers of Barnsley
0:25:56 > 0:25:59who have been hanging all kinds of things on that outstretched finger.
0:25:59 > 0:26:02It's kind of an invitation really, isn't it?
0:26:02 > 0:26:04They're going to put it on more of a pedestal.
0:26:04 > 0:26:07Completely right. Because according to the Telegraph:
0:26:15 > 0:26:16Here is that statue again.
0:26:20 > 0:26:22According to the Daily Mail what have people been
0:26:22 > 0:26:23hanging on the finger?
0:26:23 > 0:26:26- Presumably... - It must be underwear.- Yes.
0:26:31 > 0:26:32And Miley Cyrus.
0:26:32 > 0:26:35LAUGHTER
0:26:35 > 0:26:39Condoms and pants in Barnsley. That's what you call heirlooms.
0:26:42 > 0:26:46- What is to blame for this? - People having fun.- Alcohol.
0:26:46 > 0:26:48- That must be stamped out(!) - "Stop that."
0:26:48 > 0:26:50The sculptor Graham Ibbeson said:
0:26:57 > 0:27:00Who has been spotted cleaning the statue?
0:27:00 > 0:27:02- Taking the dangling items off? - Mr Dickie Bird himself.
0:27:02 > 0:27:05Absolutely right. According to the sculptor:
0:27:08 > 0:27:11LAUGHTER
0:27:11 > 0:27:14This is the news that a statue of cricket umpire Dickie Bird is being
0:27:14 > 0:27:17put on a taller plinth. Here is the statue.
0:27:17 > 0:27:19The closest Yorkshire gets to a welcome sign.
0:27:20 > 0:27:23Of course what you can't see is 22 yards away there is
0:27:23 > 0:27:25a statue of Geoffrey Boycott refusing to walk.
0:27:25 > 0:27:27LAUGHTER
0:27:27 > 0:27:28Fingers on the buzzers, teams.
0:27:28 > 0:27:31Let's see what else is behind Godfrey Bloom's Fridge Of News.
0:27:34 > 0:27:35BUZZER
0:27:35 > 0:27:37- It's Paxman.- It is Pax.
0:27:37 > 0:27:39VICTORIA: He said he doesn't vote.
0:27:39 > 0:27:40He interviewed Russell Brand
0:27:40 > 0:27:43and gave Russell Brand a hard time for not voting.
0:27:43 > 0:27:46It's quite strange though because in the interview,
0:27:46 > 0:27:49he kept using the phrase "can't be arsed".
0:27:49 > 0:27:51He kept saying, "You can't be arsed to vote." You know,
0:27:51 > 0:27:54it didn't quite ring true as a thing you would think Jeremy Paxman
0:27:54 > 0:27:58would say and then a few days later he sort of came out and said,
0:27:58 > 0:28:01"I gave Russell Brand a hard time but actually, I don't vote either."
0:28:01 > 0:28:04And I wonder if he hasn't started thinking that
0:28:04 > 0:28:06he wants to BE Russell Brand.
0:28:06 > 0:28:09Yes. There's no other explanation.
0:28:09 > 0:28:10Definitely.
0:28:10 > 0:28:14- We're going to see him in necklaces by the end of the week.- Yes.
0:28:14 > 0:28:16In an interview he said:
0:28:26 > 0:28:28I think he was just indulgent, wasn't he?
0:28:28 > 0:28:31He just didn't ask him any questions and didn't challenge anything
0:28:31 > 0:28:32and just smiled at him.
0:28:32 > 0:28:36He just thought, "Gosh, you've got a beard as well."
0:28:36 > 0:28:38If you watched the footage though,
0:28:38 > 0:28:41Russell Brand is really flirting with him. It's sort of brilliant.
0:28:41 > 0:28:44Paxman kind of melts under the charm.
0:28:44 > 0:28:47Russell Brand is sort of tickling him and teasing him and going,
0:28:47 > 0:28:53"Come on, Jeremy." It is, it's like watching Mr Paxman falling in love.
0:28:55 > 0:28:57Do you know why he said he didn't vote?
0:28:57 > 0:29:00He wasn't inspired by any of the choices available to him.
0:29:00 > 0:29:03He found the choice of political parties unappetising.
0:29:03 > 0:29:06That is incredibly depressing that he said that, really deeply depressing.
0:29:06 > 0:29:09Not to cast aspersions on my fellow quiz show host.
0:29:09 > 0:29:11I'm a big fan of Jeremy Paxman, but Russell Brand was
0:29:11 > 0:29:15putting this forward in a kind of aesthetic of rebellion.
0:29:15 > 0:29:16He built it in...
0:29:16 > 0:29:19He said some quite exciting things. But preposterous about not voting.
0:29:19 > 0:29:22But he was trying to kick ideas around and be shocking.
0:29:22 > 0:29:25I think for Jeremy Paxman who wasn't trying to do that
0:29:25 > 0:29:28and is a famously clever man, to just come out and say he
0:29:28 > 0:29:31didn't like any of the parties and he didn't vote, disappointing.
0:29:31 > 0:29:34GODFREY: He says, famously, he's got the answers all the time.
0:29:34 > 0:29:37- That makes a huge difference, doesn't it?- Only on University Challenge.
0:29:37 > 0:29:40Oh... Does he do something else?
0:29:40 > 0:29:42On Newsnight, I'm not sure he's got the answers...
0:29:42 > 0:29:44Newsnight's too late for me.
0:29:44 > 0:29:46LAUGHTER
0:29:46 > 0:29:48- He interviews politicians. Have you never seen him?- No.
0:29:48 > 0:29:51I thought he just did that, you know,
0:29:51 > 0:29:53smug thing he does with knowing the answers
0:29:53 > 0:29:56and you want to slap him, don't you? Give me a rolled up magazine.
0:29:56 > 0:29:58LAUGHTER
0:29:58 > 0:30:01Godfrey, you quite like voting with your feet, don't you?
0:30:01 > 0:30:03We've got an impressive demonstration of that.
0:30:03 > 0:30:05Here you are with Krishnan Guru-Murthy.
0:30:05 > 0:30:10The trouble is if you won't elucidate what was in your mind,
0:30:10 > 0:30:13because you claim you can't remember, it's a bit difficult.
0:30:15 > 0:30:17I can tell you what was in my mind but you won't let me speak
0:30:17 > 0:30:20and it's £1 billion a month going where we don't know where it goes.
0:30:20 > 0:30:23- I'm not interested in that. - I know you're not interested.
0:30:23 > 0:30:25I'm interested in why you used the phrase.
0:30:25 > 0:30:29I'm saying you should be. Move on. Move on, there's a good fellow.
0:30:29 > 0:30:32I'm not going to move on until we've got to the bottom of why you
0:30:32 > 0:30:34- used this phrase. - Well, if you're not going to move on,
0:30:34 > 0:30:37I don't think there's much point in continuing it, is there?
0:30:37 > 0:30:40- If you're not going to talk about serious issues...- Are you giving up?
0:30:40 > 0:30:42- There's no point in continuing it. - Are you giving up, Mr Bloom?
0:30:42 > 0:30:44I can't be bothered with you.
0:30:47 > 0:30:50VICTORIA: That was a less flirtatious interview.
0:30:50 > 0:30:54Yes, I can tell you, I do not fancy Murthy, or whatever his name is.
0:30:54 > 0:30:55Why has he got an Irish name anyway?
0:30:55 > 0:30:58- That's what I don't understand. - Murthy, Murthy.- Right, sorry.
0:30:58 > 0:31:00VICTORIA: Sorry, look, I don't want to have a row
0:31:00 > 0:31:02but why shouldn't he have an Irish name?
0:31:02 > 0:31:05I mean, why shouldn't he? Why do you ask that question?
0:31:05 > 0:31:07Because he's got a Welsh accent.
0:31:11 > 0:31:15Geography is not his strong point.
0:31:15 > 0:31:19Who's been doing his best not to bore the electorate in Toronto?
0:31:19 > 0:31:23- The mayor.- The mayor. - Crack cocaine smoker.- Exactly.
0:31:23 > 0:31:28- Do you remember what his name was? - Billy Gibbons.- It'll do. Rob Ford.
0:31:28 > 0:31:29That's it.
0:31:29 > 0:31:33He recently admitted to having smoked crack cocaine
0:31:33 > 0:31:34on one occasion:
0:31:40 > 0:31:42Rob Ford is very keen to get
0:31:42 > 0:31:44his hands on the tape of his crack taking.
0:31:44 > 0:31:45Does anyone know why?
0:31:45 > 0:31:48He's forgotten how to do it.
0:31:49 > 0:31:52According to the BBC, Ford told a press conference:
0:32:01 > 0:32:03I'm guessing it wasn't great, Rob.
0:32:03 > 0:32:07Another fat politician has been in the news this week.
0:32:07 > 0:32:08Who was that?
0:32:08 > 0:32:11- The man who's just become Mayor of New York.- No.
0:32:11 > 0:32:17- A late politician, I suppose. - Oh, yes. William Taft, is it? - Exactly.
0:32:17 > 0:32:19A very big man in real life
0:32:19 > 0:32:21but being portrayed in the film by somebody more slim.
0:32:21 > 0:32:23I glanced at it. It's something like that.
0:32:23 > 0:32:27Former US president William Howard Taft. There's a picture of him here.
0:32:27 > 0:32:30- Fantastic. I do like a high-waisted trouser.- Exactly.
0:32:30 > 0:32:33- Nothing wrong with that. - Taft is in the news
0:32:33 > 0:32:35because Hollywood is thinking of making
0:32:35 > 0:32:37a King's Speech style film
0:32:37 > 0:32:39about his relationship with his British dietician
0:32:39 > 0:32:42and his battle with weight loss.
0:32:42 > 0:32:44How did his girth affect him?
0:32:44 > 0:32:45VICTORIA CHUCKLES
0:32:45 > 0:32:49- Sorry.- Sorry. What's going on?
0:32:49 > 0:32:52LAUGHTER
0:32:52 > 0:32:56Anyway. According to the Sunday Times...
0:32:56 > 0:32:58LAUGHTER
0:32:58 > 0:33:02According to the Sunday Times, Taft was so portly he:
0:33:04 > 0:33:06In the plughole?
0:33:06 > 0:33:08The Times also tells us:
0:33:14 > 0:33:16What he needed was a pipe of crack.
0:33:16 > 0:33:20Yes, this is the fallout from Jeremy Paxman's recent interview
0:33:20 > 0:33:22with Russell Brand.
0:33:22 > 0:33:23One recent interviewee to walk off
0:33:23 > 0:33:25the Newsnight set was EU spokesman:
0:33:27 > 0:33:29After Mr Paxman called him Mr Idiot.
0:33:29 > 0:33:33To be fair that is a lot easier to say.
0:33:35 > 0:33:38Meanwhile in Canada the Mayor of Toronto has admitted
0:33:38 > 0:33:39smoking crack cocaine.
0:33:39 > 0:33:41Asked to explain his behaviour the Mayor said:
0:33:44 > 0:33:46Adding that he hopes to stand again in 2014.
0:33:46 > 0:33:49Well, sit up at least.
0:33:50 > 0:33:53Meanwhile a new film is to tell the story of a British dietician
0:33:53 > 0:33:57and America's 22 stone president William Taft.
0:33:57 > 0:33:59In 1905 President Taft wrote to his doctor:
0:34:04 > 0:34:07Never mind you, fatso, what about the horse?
0:34:08 > 0:34:11Which means at the end of this round it's five points to
0:34:11 > 0:34:13Godfrey and Paul and six to Victoria and Ian.
0:34:13 > 0:34:16APPLAUSE
0:34:22 > 0:34:25Time now for the Odd One Out round. One between you.
0:34:25 > 0:34:27This week, Dick Van Dyke's car,
0:34:27 > 0:34:29an egg in Fenchurch Street,
0:34:29 > 0:34:30Tutankhamun,
0:34:30 > 0:34:32and Gwyneth Paltrow's dinner.
0:34:32 > 0:34:34BUZZER
0:34:34 > 0:34:37Right, Dick Van Dyke recently was in the news about two or three months ago.
0:34:37 > 0:34:40He's still around, he's still going, but his car caught fire
0:34:40 > 0:34:44in America so that's the reason why, something about a car catching fire.
0:34:44 > 0:34:47Tutankhamun, there was a report looking at the injuries
0:34:47 > 0:34:49of Tutankhamun that suggested he may have been
0:34:49 > 0:34:53killed on the battlefield by being hit in the side by a chariot.
0:34:53 > 0:34:56The egg in Fenchurch Street Station, that must be about the heat.
0:34:56 > 0:35:00Dick Van Dyke and the egg are both nearly cooked and Gwyneth Paltrow's
0:35:00 > 0:35:04dinner is never hot enough so Tutankhamun is the odd one out.
0:35:04 > 0:35:07You've got the wrong odd one out, but you're on exactly the right trail.
0:35:07 > 0:35:09The egg's the odd one out because it didn't cause a car accident.
0:35:09 > 0:35:12There was no car involved. It nearly did, but it didn't.
0:35:12 > 0:35:14Somebody was driving along and saw an egg. "Is that an egg?"
0:35:14 > 0:35:16They stopped just in time.
0:35:16 > 0:35:19Dick Van Dyke's in his car going, "What's the matter, Mary Poppins?"
0:35:19 > 0:35:22He's on fire. Tutankhamun said "Ah... Ugh!"
0:35:24 > 0:35:26So the egg's the odd one out.
0:35:26 > 0:35:27You're right about the fire.
0:35:27 > 0:35:30- What fire? - You're right about the fire.
0:35:30 > 0:35:32LAUGHTER
0:35:32 > 0:35:33Dick Van Dyke's car...
0:35:33 > 0:35:35- Dick Van Dyke's car was on fire? - Was on fire.
0:35:35 > 0:35:38You were right about that. That was absolutely right, that's key.
0:35:38 > 0:35:40That's key. So it's temperature, it's temperature.
0:35:40 > 0:35:42Victoria, have you got any ideas?
0:35:42 > 0:35:45OK, so it's relevant that there's fire.
0:35:45 > 0:35:47This isn't Gwyneth Paltrow, it's the dinner.
0:35:47 > 0:35:50They've all been exposed to fire except the egg,
0:35:50 > 0:35:53- which cooked without it. - That's right.
0:35:53 > 0:35:55- Is that right? Well done. - That is right.
0:35:57 > 0:35:58That is right.
0:35:58 > 0:36:00They've all caught fire unexpectedly except the egg
0:36:00 > 0:36:03in Fenchurch Street, which was cooked to perfection by the glare
0:36:03 > 0:36:06of the sun reflected by the Walkie Talkie building opposite.
0:36:06 > 0:36:08I don't think an egg cooked on the pavement can be
0:36:08 > 0:36:11described as cooked to perfection.
0:36:11 > 0:36:15Yes, the same architect, who's Uruguayan, called Rafael Vinoly,
0:36:15 > 0:36:19he also designed a hotel in Las Vegas with exactly the same problem.
0:36:19 > 0:36:20Exactly the same thing.
0:36:20 > 0:36:22It's worth remembering the name of that guy,
0:36:22 > 0:36:24very much the G4S of architects.
0:36:25 > 0:36:29King Tutankhamun, experts said the mummy of King Tutankhamun
0:36:29 > 0:36:32spontaneously combusted after it was embalmed.
0:36:32 > 0:36:35Scientists have spent years trying to establish
0:36:35 > 0:36:39the cause of Tutankhamun's early death, variously attributing it to:
0:36:54 > 0:36:57Although the most recent theory is that he was:
0:36:59 > 0:37:03A virtual autopsy suggests his death was due to a trauma that is
0:37:03 > 0:37:06apparent down the left-hand side of his body.
0:37:06 > 0:37:09No doubt caused by having to spend his life standing like this.
0:37:15 > 0:37:18Gwyneth Paltrow has revealed that her husband Chris Martin has only
0:37:18 > 0:37:20twice made dinner for her
0:37:20 > 0:37:22and on both occasions, they had to call the fire brigade.
0:37:22 > 0:37:25Still, they and their children were unscathed.
0:37:25 > 0:37:28It would be awful if they'd ended up with baked Apple.
0:37:28 > 0:37:29- AUDIENCE:- Oh.
0:37:29 > 0:37:30Oh.
0:37:30 > 0:37:33Which means at the end of this round
0:37:33 > 0:37:36it's five points to Godfrey and Paul and eight to Victoria and Ian.
0:37:36 > 0:37:38APPLAUSE
0:37:44 > 0:37:46Time now for the Missing Words round,
0:37:46 > 0:37:49which this week features as its guest publication Regtransfers,
0:37:49 > 0:37:52the magazine for the world of personal number plates.
0:37:54 > 0:37:56We start with Simon Cowell reveals what?
0:37:56 > 0:37:58Reveals his number plate.
0:37:58 > 0:38:00You probably can't see Simon Cowell's number plate for all
0:38:00 > 0:38:04the cigarette smoke billowing around his pregnant girlfriend.
0:38:04 > 0:38:07- Did you see, there were pictures, did you not see that?- People smoking.
0:38:07 > 0:38:09There's a picture of him in the car, fagging away,
0:38:09 > 0:38:11pregnant girlfriend in the passenger seat.
0:38:11 > 0:38:15Unbelievable. I thought he was evil before, but...
0:38:17 > 0:38:23- Simon Cowell reveals his baby name choice is Simon.- Oh!
0:38:23 > 0:38:24The baby is due in February.
0:38:24 > 0:38:27Simon Cowell has already got a high chair, some tiny clothes
0:38:27 > 0:38:28and a booster seat.
0:38:28 > 0:38:31All he needs now is to get some stuff for the baby.
0:38:31 > 0:38:32Next:
0:38:35 > 0:38:37Is it complete as it is?
0:38:37 > 0:38:40Just been hiding?
0:38:40 > 0:38:42- VICTORIA: That's the Nazi art. - Masterpieces, yeah.
0:38:42 > 0:38:44I will give you that.
0:38:47 > 0:38:50All the paintings were confiscated in the early 1940s, or as art
0:38:50 > 0:38:53historians call it, Hitler's angry period.
0:38:53 > 0:38:55LAUGHTER
0:38:58 > 0:38:59Next:
0:39:01 > 0:39:07Automatic weapons. An intrinsic knowledge of our local area.
0:39:07 > 0:39:11- Personalised number plates. - Personalised plates.
0:39:11 > 0:39:12There we are.
0:39:12 > 0:39:15I wanted my initials on my car but I didn't fancy splashing out
0:39:15 > 0:39:17on a personalised number plate so I just bought
0:39:17 > 0:39:20a second-hand AA van. Brilliant. Next:
0:39:21 > 0:39:25- GODFREY: I know this.- Go on. - Pensions. They're going to get pensions.
0:39:25 > 0:39:26Absolutely right.
0:39:26 > 0:39:28Rightly so. Rightly so.
0:39:28 > 0:39:31I can't believe nobody said truncheon meat.
0:39:31 > 0:39:36- They did.- That response is the reason why nobody did.
0:39:36 > 0:39:40Next, George W Bush planning what?
0:39:40 > 0:39:43A gallery, an exhibition. He's going to open an exhibition.
0:39:43 > 0:39:44Yes, that's almost there.
0:39:44 > 0:39:46He's planning to paint a series of p...
0:39:46 > 0:39:49He's planning to paint a p... Oh, Lord!
0:39:49 > 0:39:50He's planning to paint:
0:39:53 > 0:39:56We used to accuse him of not being able to read.
0:39:57 > 0:40:00According to the Telegraph, he is also known to dabble in landscapes.
0:40:00 > 0:40:03As the people of Iraq know only too well.
0:40:05 > 0:40:08And finally, David Suchet admits to what when playing Poirot?
0:40:08 > 0:40:10- I know that one.- What is it?
0:40:10 > 0:40:12He's got a penny up his arse, hasn't he,
0:40:12 > 0:40:14so it helps him mince the walk.
0:40:14 > 0:40:15You're absolutely right, yes.
0:40:15 > 0:40:18David Suchet admits to clenching a penny between his buttocks
0:40:18 > 0:40:19when playing Poirot.
0:40:19 > 0:40:21Which he learned from Laurence Olivier,
0:40:21 > 0:40:24who I think had more than pennies up his arse at one stage...
0:40:24 > 0:40:28SCATTERED LAUGHTER
0:40:30 > 0:40:34- Right down to the line, Godfrey. - Sorry. Sorry.
0:40:34 > 0:40:38I know you won't ask me back.
0:40:38 > 0:40:42So the final scores are Godfrey and Paul have eight
0:40:42 > 0:40:44but Victoria and Ian are our winners this week with 12.
0:40:44 > 0:40:47APPLAUSE
0:40:53 > 0:40:56On which note we say thank you to our panellists
0:40:56 > 0:40:58Ian Hislop, and Victoria Coren Mitchell,
0:40:58 > 0:41:00Paul Merton and Godfrey Bloom.
0:41:00 > 0:41:03And I leave you with news that to counter allegations that high
0:41:03 > 0:41:05interest rates leave borrowers dissatisfied,
0:41:05 > 0:41:08Wonga.com arrange a photo shoot with one of their happy customers.
0:41:12 > 0:41:14Viewers of Doctor Who complain that the chase scenes
0:41:14 > 0:41:16aren't as exciting as they used to be.
0:41:19 > 0:41:21And on a trip to the local funfair,
0:41:21 > 0:41:24there's a worrying sight for Bruce Forsyth.
0:41:28 > 0:41:29Good night!