0:00:02 > 0:00:10This programme contains some strong language.
0:00:32 > 0:00:34APPLAUSE
0:00:39 > 0:00:42Good evening and welcome to Have I Got News For You. I'm Kirsty Young.
0:00:42 > 0:00:44In the news this week,
0:00:44 > 0:00:47unseen footage from the first series of Top Gear
0:00:47 > 0:00:51shows how Chris Evans found out he was no longer required.
0:00:55 > 0:00:57LAUGHTER
0:00:59 > 0:01:03After a dinner to celebrate her personally endorsing his campaign,
0:01:03 > 0:01:08Mary Berry and David Davis make their way home from the restaurant.
0:01:09 > 0:01:12LAUGHTER
0:01:15 > 0:01:18And the producers of the movie Fast & Furious 9
0:01:18 > 0:01:20deny that budget cuts have taken
0:01:20 > 0:01:23some of the thrill out of the action sequences.
0:01:23 > 0:01:26LAUGHTER
0:01:31 > 0:01:33APPLAUSE
0:01:33 > 0:01:36On Ian's team tonight is a comedian
0:01:36 > 0:01:39who has OCD and supports Leeds United,
0:01:39 > 0:01:41which must be infuriating for him,
0:01:41 > 0:01:44as every time he looks at the table, they're just in the wrong place.
0:01:44 > 0:01:46Please welcome Jon Richardson.
0:01:46 > 0:01:49APPLAUSE
0:01:53 > 0:01:58And with Paul tonight is the political editor of ITV News,
0:01:58 > 0:02:01who last year grew a moustache to conceal his injuries
0:02:01 > 0:02:04after falling off his bicycle,
0:02:04 > 0:02:07both of which were horrific handlebar disasters.
0:02:07 > 0:02:08Please welcome Robert Peston.
0:02:08 > 0:02:11APPLAUSE
0:02:13 > 0:02:15Ian, I believe you... you won an award today,
0:02:15 > 0:02:17you've been given an award, haven't you?
0:02:17 > 0:02:20By... Is it the Beano or somebody?
0:02:20 > 0:02:22What did you do, send off enough coupons? What did you get?
0:02:23 > 0:02:26Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
0:02:27 > 0:02:29Was that your acceptance speech?
0:02:31 > 0:02:35And so we start, then, with the bigger stories of the week.
0:02:35 > 0:02:38Ian and Jon, take a look at this.
0:02:38 > 0:02:39Big-headed? Not at all.
0:02:39 > 0:02:43Thomas. Oh, that's the Nationalised Tank Engine.
0:02:44 > 0:02:46- JON:- She's good at that, isn't she?
0:02:46 > 0:02:50- Oh, no.- Yeah. Are you? I haven't got a problem with it,
0:02:50 > 0:02:52but I'll just back up over here.
0:02:52 > 0:02:56- It's the general election, isn't it? - It is.- And it's neck and neck.
0:02:58 > 0:03:02What did Jeremy Corbyn promise us this week?
0:03:02 > 0:03:04He said he'd be Prime Minister, for a start. Which is good.
0:03:04 > 0:03:07Well, we want to know he wants it.
0:03:07 > 0:03:09Um...
0:03:09 > 0:03:13And he said there'd be more spending, and, um...
0:03:13 > 0:03:15More bank holidays!
0:03:15 > 0:03:17- Yeah.- Yes! That was the sort of...
0:03:17 > 0:03:20- AUDIENCE MEMBER:- Hooray! - Hooray?
0:03:20 > 0:03:22Do you not want to work, sir?
0:03:23 > 0:03:26You want to idle in bed?
0:03:26 > 0:03:28Watching Midsomer Murders repeats?
0:03:30 > 0:03:32Oh, that's a late lay-in, that.
0:03:34 > 0:03:37He promised four days off on the UK's patron saints' day.
0:03:37 > 0:03:41What was his response...? There were critics who said it would
0:03:41 > 0:03:44cost the country a lot in lost productivity
0:03:44 > 0:03:45and what was his riposte to that?
0:03:45 > 0:03:48"I'm not going to get in, anyway, so it don't matter."
0:03:51 > 0:03:55He said that more people were going to spend more money on holiday,
0:03:55 > 0:03:57which would help to make up for the deficit.
0:03:57 > 0:03:59And then somebody said in response to that,
0:03:59 > 0:04:01"Then why don't we have all year off?"
0:04:03 > 0:04:07All politicians this week did their sort of customary
0:04:07 > 0:04:11little speeches, with the compulsory backdrop of supporters.
0:04:11 > 0:04:12There's Theresa May.
0:04:13 > 0:04:15There's Tim Farron.
0:04:15 > 0:04:18And here is Jeremy Corbyn. Well, he's doing it all wrong.
0:04:18 > 0:04:21Our future Prime Minister!
0:04:21 > 0:04:23CHEERING
0:04:27 > 0:04:29APPLAUSE
0:04:33 > 0:04:36It's almost unfair, isn't it?
0:04:36 > 0:04:38Well, he was naively thinking that supporters
0:04:38 > 0:04:40were there to be spoken to. What a fool.
0:04:40 > 0:04:43What did Boris call Jeremy this week?
0:04:43 > 0:04:45- Oh, something mutton-headed.- Mugwump.
0:04:45 > 0:04:46Mutton-headed mugwump.
0:04:46 > 0:04:48- Mugwump.- Is that right?
0:04:48 > 0:04:50That's... What a team, yes, that is, indeed, right.
0:04:50 > 0:04:53What's really odd about it is it's quite a good thing being a mugwump.
0:04:53 > 0:04:56A mugwump is an independent-minded person who's not
0:04:56 > 0:04:59desperately attached to a political party.
0:04:59 > 0:05:01It's not a bad thing to be!
0:05:02 > 0:05:04And I thought they'd locked Boris up in a cupboard.
0:05:06 > 0:05:07I thought it was official Tory policy
0:05:07 > 0:05:09that he just stayed inside the cupboard.
0:05:09 > 0:05:12They let him out to say that we're just going to bomb Syria
0:05:12 > 0:05:14whenever President Trump wants us to.
0:05:14 > 0:05:16So, he's not doing any harm, at all!
0:05:17 > 0:05:19Do we know what mugwump really means, though?
0:05:19 > 0:05:22I told you what it meant!
0:05:22 > 0:05:25- Are you doubting the political editor of ITV?- I think he is!
0:05:25 > 0:05:28He is! He wins an award and he thinks he's Lord Rothermere.
0:05:30 > 0:05:32APPLAUSE
0:05:32 > 0:05:33Extraordinary turnabout!
0:05:33 > 0:05:36- Sorry, that was a very insulting thing to say!- If I thought
0:05:36 > 0:05:39I was Lord Rothermere, I'd get on a plane to France and avoid some tax.
0:05:41 > 0:05:42- AUDIENCE MEMBER:- Boo!
0:05:44 > 0:05:48Is that a boo of support for the Daily Mail's proprietor?
0:05:48 > 0:05:50Bloody hell.
0:05:50 > 0:05:52And so, what makes Jeremy happy?
0:05:52 > 0:05:55Oh. I don't think I've seen him laugh.
0:05:55 > 0:05:56Take a look at this.
0:05:58 > 0:05:59Good comedy.
0:05:59 > 0:06:01Good jokes. Um...
0:06:01 > 0:06:03What makes me laugh is children being happy.
0:06:08 > 0:06:12- Oh...- We can add one of the saints' days, St Jeremy's Day.
0:06:13 > 0:06:17And what did Jeremy, this week, refuse to say?
0:06:17 > 0:06:20He wasn't going to go on the debates, is that it? He said that
0:06:20 > 0:06:22if Theresa May's not going to do the debates,
0:06:22 > 0:06:23then rather than accept the open goal...
0:06:23 > 0:06:26- ROBERT:- Totally right. - JON:- ..to put his policies across
0:06:26 > 0:06:28without being interrupted, he's not going to do them, either.
0:06:28 > 0:06:31I was thinking of a slightly bigger issue.
0:06:31 > 0:06:32Could there be a bigger issue?
0:06:32 > 0:06:34A sad child?
0:06:40 > 0:06:42APPLAUSE
0:06:42 > 0:06:44Is this Trident?
0:06:44 > 0:06:47Yes, he said he would refuse to press the big red button.
0:06:47 > 0:06:50He's not going to press the red button and I quite like that.
0:06:50 > 0:06:53APPLAUSE
0:06:55 > 0:07:00Who would press the big red button? If you were in that position, do you think you'd take the decision?
0:07:00 > 0:07:03It should be like the National Lottery. You should get your chance to have
0:07:03 > 0:07:06the red button for a day, see what people do with it.
0:07:06 > 0:07:10Corbyn got a barrage of flak from, predictably, the right-wing press,
0:07:10 > 0:07:13for "undermining the UK's nuclear deterrent".
0:07:13 > 0:07:16Although when Labour's defence spokeswoman,
0:07:16 > 0:07:18Nia Griffiths, said, then...
0:07:19 > 0:07:23..the Sun called her "trigger-happy".
0:07:23 > 0:07:25Can you be trigger-happy with a button?
0:07:27 > 0:07:30You can be button-happy, but it doesn't really make much sense, does it?
0:07:30 > 0:07:32- You get the gist, I guess. - I do get the gist, indeed.
0:07:32 > 0:07:34On the subject of refusing to answer,
0:07:34 > 0:07:36let's talk about gay sex. Why not?
0:07:38 > 0:07:40Bit early for me, but OK, here we go!
0:07:42 > 0:07:44APPLAUSE
0:07:46 > 0:07:49I know it's what you want.
0:07:50 > 0:07:53- Robert, you really nailed Tim Farron at the weekend.- Beg your pardon?
0:07:53 > 0:07:57APPLAUSE
0:07:57 > 0:08:00Well, we certainly talked a lot about gay sex,
0:08:00 > 0:08:02that's certainly true.
0:08:02 > 0:08:03And on the programme?
0:08:04 > 0:08:05And on the programme!
0:08:05 > 0:08:08Will you apply the same criteria to all candidates?
0:08:08 > 0:08:10Are you going to ask them all about people's sex lives
0:08:10 > 0:08:13and whether they agree with gay sex and gay marriage?
0:08:13 > 0:08:15Obviously, I'm going to have to.
0:08:16 > 0:08:17A straight answer.
0:08:19 > 0:08:21GROANS
0:08:21 > 0:08:24No, no, no, it's remarks like that that won Ian an award this week!
0:08:24 > 0:08:26APPLAUSE
0:08:28 > 0:08:31Maybe Tim Farron could have adopted the more nuanced approach
0:08:31 > 0:08:34of a would-be Ukip councillor in Glasgow,
0:08:34 > 0:08:38Gisela Allen. She told the Sunday Herald newspaper...
0:09:00 > 0:09:02LAUGHTER
0:09:03 > 0:09:05I'm quoting her!
0:09:05 > 0:09:09- Oh, yes. I wasn't confused, I was just...- OK.- Shocked!- Shocked!
0:09:09 > 0:09:13Gisela is 84, she has a wide range of views.
0:09:13 > 0:09:16She's anti-plastic bags, but very pro-horses.
0:09:17 > 0:09:20Difficult to get your shopping in, though.
0:09:21 > 0:09:23- Shove it up...- Stop it!
0:09:23 > 0:09:28She also has a thought that would surely resonate with us all.
0:09:35 > 0:09:39Speaking of the guillotine, probably the way things are going in France,
0:09:39 > 0:09:41Ian, we might be seeing the return of that.
0:09:41 > 0:09:44Um, yes, the far-right party came second.
0:09:44 > 0:09:47But unlike in America, that doesn't mean they won.
0:09:47 > 0:09:50APPLAUSE
0:09:53 > 0:09:57They might do yet. So, the...the establishment has been defeated.
0:09:57 > 0:10:00Do you think the idea that Macron is not the establishment is ludicrous?
0:10:00 > 0:10:02- A lot of people say that he's the establishment.- Yes.
0:10:02 > 0:10:05He was a cabinet minister in the last government?
0:10:05 > 0:10:07- ROBERT:- And a banker. - And a banker.- For Rothschild.- Yeah.
0:10:07 > 0:10:10- And he's...- So, he's not the establishment.- No.
0:10:10 > 0:10:13- OK.- Not any more. - OK, he's the establishment,
0:10:13 > 0:10:16but Le Pen, Marine, is she the establishment?
0:10:16 > 0:10:20I mean, she's the daughter of a former presidential far-right candidate.
0:10:20 > 0:10:22She's the daughter of a racist,
0:10:22 > 0:10:26- anti-Semitic, far-right candidate, yeah.- Good.
0:10:26 > 0:10:28APPLAUSE
0:10:28 > 0:10:30- JON:- Can I just ask, are we allowed...?
0:10:30 > 0:10:32You're pronouncing these words very French.
0:10:32 > 0:10:35Are we allowed to do that, now we're coming out of the EU?
0:10:37 > 0:10:40It's not been a great week for UKIP leader Paul Nuttall.
0:10:40 > 0:10:45He proposed a ban on Muslim women hiding their face in public.
0:10:45 > 0:10:48His proposal to ban the full face veil led to this rather
0:10:48 > 0:10:51brilliant question on Sky News.
0:10:51 > 0:10:53So, one presumes that big hats are also going to be banned
0:10:53 > 0:10:55by a UKIP government?
0:10:58 > 0:11:00Er, no, not big hats at all.
0:11:05 > 0:11:08Are there no questions about the Conservatives, at all?
0:11:08 > 0:11:10- They're coming! - Is that the new BBC policy?
0:11:10 > 0:11:13APPLAUSE
0:11:16 > 0:11:20I mean, I don't want to question the superior wisdom of the BBC,
0:11:20 > 0:11:22particularly not with Robert here.
0:11:25 > 0:11:27Well done. Thank you.
0:11:27 > 0:11:31- Ian, that award has changed you.- Yeah.
0:11:32 > 0:11:35- OK. The Tories are coming. - Oh, God, I hope not.
0:11:38 > 0:11:40Enough of them in already.
0:11:40 > 0:11:42Do you want some more water with that?
0:11:45 > 0:11:48APPLAUSE
0:11:49 > 0:11:51No, I'm fine, thanks, Paul.
0:11:51 > 0:11:54So, what I'm going to do is I'm going to...
0:11:54 > 0:11:55LAUGHTER
0:11:55 > 0:11:58..I'm going to issue you a photograph that was taken
0:11:58 > 0:12:00on the campaign trail this week.
0:12:00 > 0:12:03You have to guess what we're going to pull out to, to see in the rest
0:12:03 > 0:12:06- of the picture.- Ah, right, OK. - OK?- Yes.- So, fingers on buzzers.
0:12:06 > 0:12:12Here's Lib Dem MSP candidate Willie Rennie, but what are we going to see?
0:12:12 > 0:12:14BUZZER Yeah?
0:12:14 > 0:12:16Artificially inseminating a sheepdog.
0:12:16 > 0:12:19I'm reading it from the shadows behind him.
0:12:19 > 0:12:22I was going to say, "Shall we pull out and have a look?"
0:12:22 > 0:12:26- But somehow, that's...- No, no, no. - Let's just see what's happening.
0:12:26 > 0:12:33- Mr Rennie...- Oh!- Oh!- He's being attacked by a ram in a field in Fife.
0:12:33 > 0:12:37Farming issues are high on the agenda for Mr Rennie.
0:12:37 > 0:12:41Let's just remind ourselves, then, of one of the highlights from
0:12:41 > 0:12:45the campaign of the 2016 Scottish parliamentary election.
0:12:45 > 0:12:47We like to organise our visits, to send
0:12:47 > 0:12:51a message in pictorial terms exactly what we're asking for.
0:12:51 > 0:12:53And I think this does it very well today.
0:12:55 > 0:12:58There's something about his voice that gets them going.
0:12:58 > 0:13:00OK, right, fingers on buzzers.
0:13:00 > 0:13:03What are we going to see?
0:13:03 > 0:13:05BUZZER Paul and Robert?
0:13:05 > 0:13:09So, we are going to see the leader of the Labour Party
0:13:09 > 0:13:12reading a story - I'm afraid it's the right answer - to some children.
0:13:12 > 0:13:15This is how you win elections - you go into primary schools and you say...
0:13:15 > 0:13:18- Speak to people who can't vote. - ..in 15 years' time...
0:13:18 > 0:13:20- Yeah, you'll remember me! - ..15 years' time...- Exactly.
0:13:20 > 0:13:22You know, they'll go out there and vote Labour.
0:13:22 > 0:13:23You're quite right, Robert,
0:13:23 > 0:13:26this is Jeremy Corbyn reading to children in Bristol.
0:13:26 > 0:13:28- JON:- Couldn't find a chair again, eh?
0:13:32 > 0:13:34Now, Theresa May outlined an unusual plan
0:13:34 > 0:13:37to keep immigration down this week.
0:13:37 > 0:13:38What was that?
0:13:38 > 0:13:40By letting in a lot more people.
0:13:40 > 0:13:42Let's take a little look, shall we?
0:13:42 > 0:13:45We want to lead the world in preventing tourism.
0:13:50 > 0:13:54The Tories have announced one policy that we've heard before. What was that?
0:13:54 > 0:13:58- Is that capping electricity?- Yeah, it is, a cap on fuel prices.
0:13:58 > 0:14:01Yeah, that was a very bad idea when Ed Miliband announced it.
0:14:01 > 0:14:05- Yeah.- But now they've announced the same thing, it's a really good idea.
0:14:05 > 0:14:10In the old days it was interfering in the market, but now it's... It's interfering in the market.
0:14:11 > 0:14:14But it's a very good idea, because the Tories are doing it.
0:14:14 > 0:14:15Do you see the difference?
0:14:15 > 0:14:18If Labour do it, it's very, very bad.
0:14:18 > 0:14:23If the Conservative Party do it, it's intervening in a good sense
0:14:23 > 0:14:27to provide a stable, strong, strong and stable...
0:14:27 > 0:14:29- LAUGHTER - ..stable.
0:14:29 > 0:14:32APPLAUSE
0:14:33 > 0:14:37She's a Christian, but she doesn't get asked about her views on gay sex, does she?
0:14:37 > 0:14:38Will she? Will she?
0:14:38 > 0:14:40She will be.
0:14:40 > 0:14:43Up against a strong, stable table.
0:14:43 > 0:14:46APPLAUSE
0:14:48 > 0:14:50But she won't come on your show, will she?
0:14:50 > 0:14:52She won't do any television.
0:14:52 > 0:14:54- She is coming on the show.- She is coming on your show?- On Sunday.
0:14:54 > 0:14:57- Oh, brilliant!- So there we are. - Do watch, it's on ITV.
0:14:59 > 0:15:03I wonder if this bit will stay in BBC's Have I Got News For You.
0:15:03 > 0:15:07Now, of course, the polls are showing Theresa May has the highest approval rating
0:15:07 > 0:15:10of any Prime Minister for over 40 years.
0:15:10 > 0:15:11That includes Thatcher.
0:15:11 > 0:15:16Let's take a look at what one fan in Bolton thinks of her.
0:15:16 > 0:15:17She could come out in a bin bag, for me,
0:15:17 > 0:15:19and I think she would still be strong.
0:15:19 > 0:15:22I don't want her to come out in a body bag, just a bin bag!
0:15:27 > 0:15:30Yes, it is week two of the election campaign.
0:15:30 > 0:15:33Following a controversial interview with Robert Peston,
0:15:33 > 0:15:36Lib Dem leader and committed Christian Tim Farron
0:15:36 > 0:15:38clarified his position, saying...
0:15:40 > 0:15:42Which let Nick Clegg off the hook
0:15:42 > 0:15:44for buggering the Lib Dems for five years.
0:15:46 > 0:15:49APPLAUSE
0:15:50 > 0:15:53UKIP made a policy announcement this week,
0:15:53 > 0:15:57saying they would ban the burqa, though Paul Nuttall insisted...
0:16:05 > 0:16:08APPLAUSE
0:16:08 > 0:16:10Unlike the Tories, most of their candidates
0:16:10 > 0:16:14are going to have blankets over their heads when they're thrown in the back of those police vans.
0:16:14 > 0:16:15- AUDIENCE MEMBER:- Boo!
0:16:15 > 0:16:16That won't go in.
0:16:19 > 0:16:23Jeremy Corbyn's bank holiday announcement came as some
0:16:23 > 0:16:25English voters celebrated St George's Day.
0:16:26 > 0:16:30Good for UKIP, except they want to ban what that horse there is wearing.
0:16:33 > 0:16:37So, Paul and Robert, let's take a look at this.
0:16:39 > 0:16:41Oh, yes, this is how to throw a dinner party in the 1950s...
0:16:41 > 0:16:43Oh, hummus, yes, there's a hummus shortage.
0:16:43 > 0:16:47That's a man, unbelievably, "No hummus, no hummus!"
0:16:47 > 0:16:50Yes, there's been a huge drought of hummus,
0:16:50 > 0:16:54it's run out. The man that produces it, Hugh Muss, has said that, uh...
0:16:54 > 0:16:57it's got a metallic taste to it now and the supermarkets have taken it
0:16:57 > 0:17:00off their shelves. There's a great debate. It's gone missing.
0:17:00 > 0:17:02For those of us in the liberal metropolitan elite,
0:17:02 > 0:17:04this is more of a disaster even than Brexit.
0:17:07 > 0:17:09APPLAUSE
0:17:09 > 0:17:12I hope there's still taramasalata. Is there?
0:17:12 > 0:17:15What about quinoa? What would we do?
0:17:15 > 0:17:18- What was that last one? Quinoa? - Quinoa.- Quinoa.- Oh, what's that?
0:17:18 > 0:17:20It's a terrorist group.
0:17:21 > 0:17:23Very like hummus.
0:17:24 > 0:17:27Yeah, you're quite right. Why have Sainsbury's,
0:17:27 > 0:17:30Tesco's and Marks and Sparks withdrawn hummus from their shelves?
0:17:30 > 0:17:35- People have complained it's tasted funny. Metallic taste.- And fizzy. - And fizzy.- Fizzy?- Yes, fizzy.
0:17:35 > 0:17:38This wasn't the most shocking food news we've had this week.
0:17:38 > 0:17:40What else have shoppers reacted to in amazement?
0:17:40 > 0:17:42Oh, Blue Riband, not going to be made. Is that the one?
0:17:42 > 0:17:44Jobs going at Blue Riband? No.
0:17:44 > 0:17:47- Well, they're moving. The jobs are moving.- Moving.- Yeah.
0:17:47 > 0:17:49- Nestle has said... - To a different country, I think.
0:17:49 > 0:17:52Yeah, they're going to move 300 biscuit-making jobs
0:17:52 > 0:17:54from Britain to Poland.
0:17:54 > 0:17:56That's going to be hard to get home at night.
0:17:59 > 0:18:03And social media was set alight by people baffled and upset
0:18:03 > 0:18:06- that a biscuit they'd always thought was called Blue Ribbon...- Yeah.
0:18:06 > 0:18:09Is it "..nd"? It's the D on the end, isn't it?
0:18:09 > 0:18:10Yeah, it's called Blue Riband.
0:18:10 > 0:18:12- Yeah.- Yeah.
0:18:12 > 0:18:14Why did people think it was called Blue Ribbon?
0:18:14 > 0:18:18- I have no idea, because it's been called that since 1936.- It has!
0:18:18 > 0:18:20Consumers were so deeply traumatised...
0:18:20 > 0:18:22PAUL LAUGHS HYSTERICALLY
0:18:24 > 0:18:26- You saw people crying in the streets.- Yeah.
0:18:28 > 0:18:30- They went online to vent their horror.- Oh, dear.
0:18:30 > 0:18:32Yeah, of course they did. Becca wrote...
0:18:37 > 0:18:40And Terry agreed, with...
0:18:44 > 0:18:47- I'm going to do a little experiment with you now...- Yes. - ..which I know you'll love.
0:18:47 > 0:18:49Have you got some?
0:18:49 > 0:18:52No, we've not got an endless budget, Ian.
0:18:53 > 0:18:57But only 99p for a packet of eight, I noticed on that still earlier,
0:18:57 > 0:19:01and at 99 calories a treat, that's fun for all the family.
0:19:01 > 0:19:03Are they paying you?
0:19:03 > 0:19:05Let's hope so, after this goes out.
0:19:05 > 0:19:08So what I'd like you to do in this little experiment
0:19:08 > 0:19:09is write down the name
0:19:09 > 0:19:13as it appears on the label of a Kit Kat.
0:19:13 > 0:19:15LIGHT MUSIC PLAYS
0:19:18 > 0:19:20No conf... Da-da-da-da!
0:19:20 > 0:19:22- No conferring?- No conferring.
0:19:24 > 0:19:26It's like the Tory Cabinet.
0:19:28 > 0:19:30Make it up yourself.
0:19:32 > 0:19:36OK, I've written Kit Kat, because I'm presuming that's how it's written on the label.
0:19:36 > 0:19:38Right, Robert, let's see yours.
0:19:38 > 0:19:41- Just says Kit Kat, really.- Yeah, it's a circle with Kit Kat on it.
0:19:41 > 0:19:44- Right.- I put a hyphen in it.
0:19:44 > 0:19:45- Yeah.- Oh, could be a hyphen, yeah.
0:19:45 > 0:19:47I've got Peston On Politics,
0:19:47 > 0:19:48this Sunday at nine, featuring Theresa May.
0:19:48 > 0:19:50Aww, I love you!
0:19:50 > 0:19:53APPLAUSE
0:19:53 > 0:19:55Actually, that's sabotage, it's ten.
0:19:55 > 0:19:57Ah!
0:19:57 > 0:19:59It hasn't got a hyphen, that's what I was going to say.
0:19:59 > 0:20:02Oh! We were right. No hyphens over here.
0:20:02 > 0:20:04Amazing.
0:20:04 > 0:20:07233 calories, though, you're better off with two Blue Riband.
0:20:09 > 0:20:12APPLAUSE
0:20:13 > 0:20:17Robert, do you think the move by Nestle of the jobs to Poland,
0:20:17 > 0:20:19do you think it's related to Brexit?
0:20:19 > 0:20:22They say it isn't, which almost certainly means it is.
0:20:22 > 0:20:24Because what companies say when they move jobs is,
0:20:24 > 0:20:26"It's got nothing to do with Brexit."
0:20:26 > 0:20:30Robert, you answered that so rapidly and concisely, and thank you for that.
0:20:30 > 0:20:33You didn't do what you did when Bill Turnbull asked you a question
0:20:33 > 0:20:35about the Greek economy. Let's have a look.
0:20:35 > 0:20:38At what point do you say, you know, to all intents and purposes,
0:20:38 > 0:20:40the Greek economy is failing to function?
0:20:40 > 0:20:43Aren't those the surface things that have to work?
0:20:43 > 0:20:45HE SIGHS
0:20:46 > 0:20:49LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:20:54 > 0:20:57- In other food-related news...- Yes.
0:20:57 > 0:21:01..do you say scone, or do you say s-cone?
0:21:01 > 0:21:02I thought it was s-cone.
0:21:02 > 0:21:04I thought it was scone.
0:21:04 > 0:21:06I mean, who cares, really, but...
0:21:08 > 0:21:11The Scone Society of Great Britain!
0:21:11 > 0:21:15Cambridge University have done the Great Scone Map.
0:21:15 > 0:21:17Apparently, the further south you live,
0:21:17 > 0:21:21the more likely you are to say s-cone than scone.
0:21:21 > 0:21:26The Mail Online lamented the "fading away of regional dialect words".
0:21:32 > 0:21:33Probably for the best.
0:21:33 > 0:21:37A scone in the autumn does sound better than a muffin in the backend.
0:21:38 > 0:21:40APPLAUSE
0:21:44 > 0:21:47So now it's on to Round Two
0:21:47 > 0:21:50and it's a welcome return for the Randomiser of News.
0:21:50 > 0:21:53Fingers on buzzers, teams. Here's your first one.
0:21:56 > 0:21:58BUZZER
0:21:58 > 0:22:00- Ian and Jon.- That's Ivanka.
0:22:00 > 0:22:03- It is.- Oh, that's a bit harsh.
0:22:07 > 0:22:11- What's Ivanka been up to? - She appeared on a platform
0:22:11 > 0:22:13to discuss the role of women in the globe.
0:22:13 > 0:22:16She was on with Mrs Merkel and Christine Lagarde,
0:22:16 > 0:22:21- and got booed in Berlin. - She did, yes.
0:22:21 > 0:22:23Let's just take a look at what happened.
0:22:23 > 0:22:25I'm very proud of my father's advocacy.
0:22:25 > 0:22:28Long before he came into the presidency,
0:22:28 > 0:22:31but during the campaign, including in the primaries,
0:22:31 > 0:22:35he's been a tremendous champion of supporting families
0:22:35 > 0:22:38and enabling them to thrive,
0:22:38 > 0:22:40- in the new reality of... - BOOING
0:22:40 > 0:22:44You hear the reaction from the audience.
0:22:45 > 0:22:47What do you make of Ivanka?
0:22:47 > 0:22:50I checked her Twitter page today. She's got four jobs.
0:22:50 > 0:22:53It says she's a wife, a mother, a sister and a daughter.
0:22:55 > 0:22:58To have time to do what she's done, I think, is remarkable.
0:22:58 > 0:23:02So, she's got an official role. She's the First Daughter.
0:23:02 > 0:23:05- Yeah.- It didn't use to be a job.
0:23:05 > 0:23:08I think, politically, she's quite astute.
0:23:08 > 0:23:10She gave 1,000 to Hillary Clinton in 2007,
0:23:10 > 0:23:14so she clearly knows what she's doing politically.
0:23:14 > 0:23:19It was also revealed this week that Donald has a special red button
0:23:19 > 0:23:22- on his desk... - Is this Duck or Trump?
0:23:22 > 0:23:26Unfortunately, it's Trump, yes!
0:23:26 > 0:23:29Do we know what this special red button is for?
0:23:29 > 0:23:32- Ordering takeaway. - You're not far off.
0:23:32 > 0:23:34There was an Associated Press article
0:23:34 > 0:23:38reflecting on President Trump's first 100 days in office.
0:23:38 > 0:23:39It revealed that...
0:23:45 > 0:23:48That's not worrying in the slightest, is it? That's absolutely fine.
0:23:48 > 0:23:51"Where's my Coke and why's it gone very bright outside?"
0:23:54 > 0:23:58So this is the news that Ivanka Trump made her first overseas trip
0:23:58 > 0:24:00as an advisor to her father.
0:24:00 > 0:24:04Ivanka has denied charges of nepotism
0:24:04 > 0:24:08and said that her father's senior advisor considered her the best candidate for the job.
0:24:08 > 0:24:10And why would her brother lie?
0:24:11 > 0:24:14So, fingers on buzzers, teams. Here's the next one.
0:24:17 > 0:24:19BUZZER
0:24:19 > 0:24:23- Ian and Jon.- This is a church service to bless asparagus.
0:24:23 > 0:24:24Oh, yes!
0:24:24 > 0:24:28- It was to bless the crops. - People got very upset or something, didn't they?
0:24:28 > 0:24:31- People objected. - What, to asparagus being blessed?
0:24:31 > 0:24:35Yeah. There was very little gay sex in the service, so...
0:24:35 > 0:24:39Well, you're quite right. It's the news that the asparagus festival
0:24:39 > 0:24:40kicked off this week in Worcester.
0:24:40 > 0:24:42The festival began with a special ceremony.
0:24:42 > 0:24:44The reason it was controversial
0:24:44 > 0:24:47was that, as you say, the festival opened with this blessing.
0:24:47 > 0:24:50It took place actually in Worcester Cathedral. Let's take a little look.
0:24:53 > 0:24:57The man in the green. He is Gus, as in asparagus...
0:24:57 > 0:24:59LAUGHTER
0:24:59 > 0:25:03..who has been a fixture of the festival since 2008.
0:25:03 > 0:25:07Now, who would like to see pictures of Gus going about his normal day?
0:25:07 > 0:25:10- Yeah!- Here's Gus having a day out at Big Ben.
0:25:10 > 0:25:14Here is Gus on a train.
0:25:16 > 0:25:19And here he is on a bed of wilted spinach covered in sesame seeds.
0:25:21 > 0:25:25At this festival of asparagus,
0:25:25 > 0:25:30attendees will also be able to meet the first asparamancer.
0:25:30 > 0:25:32What do you think an asparamancer is?
0:25:32 > 0:25:36Someone who conjures up asparagus? Like a necromancer.
0:25:36 > 0:25:37- Oh, yes.- That's a good answer.
0:25:37 > 0:25:39Gets it from the ground where there was none before.
0:25:39 > 0:25:41No.
0:25:41 > 0:25:44So much for etymology.
0:25:45 > 0:25:47KIRSTY LAUGHS
0:25:49 > 0:25:52The asparamancer, also known as Jemima Packington,
0:25:52 > 0:25:56claims to tell the future using only asparagus.
0:25:56 > 0:25:57Oh, really?
0:25:57 > 0:26:00"I think my wee is going to smell tomorrow."
0:26:03 > 0:26:05- Doesn't happen with all people. - Doesn't it?
0:26:05 > 0:26:07It's a certain gene that's responsible for it.
0:26:07 > 0:26:09And where does she live?
0:26:12 > 0:26:14APPLAUSE
0:26:15 > 0:26:20Finally, how did John Humphrys confuse his bishops this week?
0:26:20 > 0:26:22Was it Thought For The Day?
0:26:22 > 0:26:24It was just after Thought For The Day.
0:26:24 > 0:26:26Shall we have a little listen?
0:26:39 > 0:26:41Not bad odds.
0:26:43 > 0:26:47This is the controversial church service held in Worcester Cathedral
0:26:47 > 0:26:49to bless the first asparagus of the season.
0:26:49 > 0:26:52Worcester Cathedral has been criticised for blessing
0:26:52 > 0:26:56a bundle of asparagus, accompanied by St George and Gus the Asparagus Man.
0:26:56 > 0:27:00He's actually the fifth person to wear the asparagus costume.
0:27:00 > 0:27:03The first four were strangled by a big blue elastic band.
0:27:08 > 0:27:10It's time now for the Odd One Out round.
0:27:10 > 0:27:13Ian and Jon, your four are
0:27:13 > 0:27:16Peter Maddox's Vauxhall Corsa,
0:27:16 > 0:27:17Gik wine,
0:27:17 > 0:27:19a striped house in Kensington
0:27:19 > 0:27:22and Pantone 448C.
0:27:22 > 0:27:25I know about the guy and his car,
0:27:25 > 0:27:28because he lives in quite a pretty village
0:27:28 > 0:27:30and they don't like him driving that car
0:27:30 > 0:27:33because it gets in people's photographs of his house.
0:27:33 > 0:27:36The village, I assume nobody likes whoever's house that is.
0:27:36 > 0:27:39I think they've just won their appeal.
0:27:39 > 0:27:41- That's right. - Because there was a problem,
0:27:41 > 0:27:44this was called the toothpaste house.
0:27:44 > 0:27:47And someone redesigned it and the other people in the street
0:27:47 > 0:27:49said it looks like a tube of toothpaste.
0:27:49 > 0:27:53There's three stripes on Aquafresh, anyway.
0:27:53 > 0:27:55It's just a bad analogy.
0:27:55 > 0:27:58But they are allowed to have that colour,
0:27:58 > 0:28:00he's allowed to have that colour.
0:28:00 > 0:28:02I don't see how they can stop him.
0:28:02 > 0:28:05We're not allowed this colour of black any more.
0:28:05 > 0:28:08- It's too depressing.- It's the same colour as the house it's next to.
0:28:08 > 0:28:10- Oh, yes.- And we're not talking about the fact
0:28:10 > 0:28:13they've started making wine for dogs.
0:28:16 > 0:28:17I don't think you're going to get this,
0:28:17 > 0:28:22it is they have all been criticised for their, apart from Pantone 448C,
0:28:22 > 0:28:26which is so ugly, apparently, it's been chosen as the perfect choice
0:28:26 > 0:28:28for plain cigarette packets.
0:28:28 > 0:28:32How did the World Health Organization describe the colour?
0:28:32 > 0:28:33Sickly.
0:28:33 > 0:28:37They described it as "Visually offensive and a..."
0:28:40 > 0:28:42I think you went to school with him, didn't you?
0:28:42 > 0:28:47The colour does have an alternative name, to Pantone 448C, it is...
0:28:49 > 0:28:52I thought we voted against this kind of thing.
0:28:55 > 0:28:58Opakwee Couch. It's clearly Opakwee Couch.
0:29:00 > 0:29:03What's the point in putting this to the people
0:29:03 > 0:29:05if we continue to defy their will?
0:29:07 > 0:29:08Unbelievable.
0:29:08 > 0:29:12And Gik wine has been criticised by Spanish authorities
0:29:12 > 0:29:14for its bright blue colour.
0:29:14 > 0:29:16Shall we just take a little look?
0:29:16 > 0:29:19How did one wine taster describe Gik?
0:29:19 > 0:29:21PAUL BARKS
0:29:22 > 0:29:25APPLAUSE
0:29:30 > 0:29:34He said it had a delightful bouquet, with zesty floral notes,
0:29:34 > 0:29:38hindered only slightly by also having the appearance of...
0:29:44 > 0:29:46I love that. I love that.
0:29:46 > 0:29:47And as you said, Ian,
0:29:47 > 0:29:51a businesswoman who painted her house with red and white stripes
0:29:51 > 0:29:53has won a High Court battle.
0:29:53 > 0:29:56Good news for her, bad news for next door's pet chameleon
0:29:56 > 0:29:58which has had a nervous breakdown.
0:29:58 > 0:30:02Peter Maddox's yellow Vauxhall Corsa was vandalised by fellow residents,
0:30:02 > 0:30:07who claimed the car was ruining the look of their pretty Cotswold village
0:30:07 > 0:30:09when it was parked outside his house.
0:30:09 > 0:30:11- Do you agree?- No.
0:30:11 > 0:30:13Apparently, Vauxhall love him.
0:30:13 > 0:30:16They've renamed the car, apparently.
0:30:16 > 0:30:19They've renamed the paint colour. It was originally known as flaming yellow.
0:30:19 > 0:30:22It's now...
0:30:22 > 0:30:24Do we know how some people showed their support for Mr Maddox?
0:30:24 > 0:30:26Did everyone wear yellow?
0:30:26 > 0:30:30No, they turned up in their bright yellow cars. Take a look.
0:30:35 > 0:30:36It's a Lib Dem rally!
0:30:38 > 0:30:41APPLAUSE
0:30:41 > 0:30:44They've all been criticised for their colour,
0:30:44 > 0:30:47apart from Pantone 448C,
0:30:47 > 0:30:50which has the honour of being voted the world's ugliest colour.
0:30:50 > 0:30:53And that's why even the biggest porn fan thinks twice
0:30:53 > 0:30:58before going to see Fifty Shades of Pantone 448C.
0:30:58 > 0:31:01Paul and Robert, here are your four.
0:31:01 > 0:31:06The tiger mascot for the Siliwangi Military Command in Indonesia,
0:31:06 > 0:31:07Archimedes,
0:31:07 > 0:31:08Millicent Fawcett
0:31:08 > 0:31:10and Cristiano Ronaldo.
0:31:10 > 0:31:13Ronaldo recently had a statue made of him, didn't he?
0:31:13 > 0:31:15So it's him, sort of, looking funny or amused, I think.
0:31:15 > 0:31:18- So it's about statues, I think.- It is.
0:31:18 > 0:31:21The mascot, I don't know anything about that, but I imagine it's a pretty grim mascot.
0:31:21 > 0:31:23I think the statue was regarded as laughable
0:31:23 > 0:31:26and presumably, there'll be a... I know there isn't yet a statue of
0:31:26 > 0:31:31Fawcett, the rather impressive woman on the left, who was a suffragette in the 19th century,
0:31:31 > 0:31:36- but Theresa May has promised that there WILL be...- Ah!- ..a statue of her in Parliament Square.
0:31:36 > 0:31:38There is a statue of Archimedes.
0:31:38 > 0:31:40There must be one somewhere, presumably.
0:31:40 > 0:31:42- But someone objected to it. - Oh, really?
0:31:42 > 0:31:45So, they're all statues people have objected to,
0:31:45 > 0:31:48apart from Fawcett, who's going to get a statue.
0:31:48 > 0:31:50She must be the odd one out.
0:31:50 > 0:31:52They're all subjects of controversial statues,
0:31:52 > 0:31:54apart from, as you said, Millicent Fawcett,
0:31:54 > 0:31:56whose planned statue is being welcomed
0:31:56 > 0:31:59as it will be the first female statue in Parliament Square.
0:31:59 > 0:32:02Women eventually got the vote, of course, in 1918, as we know.
0:32:02 > 0:32:05What didn't happen until 1928?
0:32:05 > 0:32:08It was over 30, wasn't it, when it started?
0:32:08 > 0:32:12In 1928, the voting age for women was lowered,
0:32:12 > 0:32:15giving them identical voting rights to men.
0:32:15 > 0:32:18In time, of course, this allowed women to be elected to Parliament,
0:32:18 > 0:32:20to play a bigger role in public life
0:32:20 > 0:32:23and occasionally, even appear on panel shows!
0:32:26 > 0:32:29APPLAUSE
0:32:29 > 0:32:31One male Telegraph journalist
0:32:31 > 0:32:34reporting on the statue, wrote that...
0:32:44 > 0:32:47And so Portugal, as you say, decided to honour Cristiano Ronaldo
0:32:47 > 0:32:49by renaming Madeira Airport after him
0:32:49 > 0:32:52and unveiling this bronze bust at one of its terminals.
0:32:52 > 0:32:56Here is the world-famous footballer, Ronaldo.
0:32:56 > 0:32:58And here's the statue.
0:33:02 > 0:33:06How did the sculptor, Emanuel Santos, take criticism of his work?
0:33:06 > 0:33:09It's a side of Cristiano that we don't normally see.
0:33:09 > 0:33:11- Something like that. - He claimed that Ronaldo,
0:33:11 > 0:33:14Ronaldo's brother and Ronaldo's mum loved the work, adding...
0:33:19 > 0:33:23When the bust was unveiled, why was Batman at the airport?
0:33:23 > 0:33:26Had he just come back from his holidays?
0:33:27 > 0:33:30Apparently, genuinely, nobody had any idea.
0:33:33 > 0:33:36And so, a statue of the majestic, fearsome Sumatran tiger
0:33:36 > 0:33:40mascot of the Siliwangi Military Command in Indonesia
0:33:40 > 0:33:42went viral this week. Here it is.
0:33:50 > 0:33:52"What does he want from us?"
0:33:54 > 0:33:57Those mad, staring eyes, that gaping, mad mouth.
0:33:57 > 0:34:02According to a spokesman for the Siliwangi Military Command,
0:34:02 > 0:34:04why did the statue end up looking
0:34:04 > 0:34:07so unlike the ferocious beast it was supposed to resemble?
0:34:07 > 0:34:10Um, they couldn't get the head they wanted.
0:34:10 > 0:34:13The spokesman said it was because the artist...
0:34:16 > 0:34:18APPLAUSE
0:34:21 > 0:34:23The poor little statue's now been destroyed,
0:34:23 > 0:34:27but how did some people honour the statue before its demise?
0:34:27 > 0:34:28Well, they took, of course,
0:34:28 > 0:34:31to editing it into famous pictures online.
0:34:31 > 0:34:34- Yes.- One person put the tiger in Jungle Book.
0:34:38 > 0:34:40One in the TV series, Lost.
0:34:44 > 0:34:47And another made him star in the film, Life Of Pi.
0:34:50 > 0:34:53APPLAUSE
0:34:53 > 0:34:59A nude statue of Archimedes is said to be distracting drivers on a road in Basingstoke.
0:34:59 > 0:35:01Who in particular has complained about the statue?
0:35:01 > 0:35:03Is it a local councillor?
0:35:03 > 0:35:05No, several locals, including a guy called Steve Gould,
0:35:05 > 0:35:07who wrote a letter to the council
0:35:07 > 0:35:09claiming that the statue was...
0:35:12 > 0:35:15According to the Daily Telegraph, Christian De Ferranti,
0:35:15 > 0:35:17the wife of the statue's owner,
0:35:17 > 0:35:21said the offending object had been blown out of all proportion.
0:35:26 > 0:35:30So, let's settle this once and for all and take a little look.
0:35:30 > 0:35:32Do you find this distracting?
0:35:32 > 0:35:36- No, not really.- I didn't even know he was from Basingstoke.
0:35:36 > 0:35:38LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:35:41 > 0:35:45So, they are all the subject of a controversial statue,
0:35:45 > 0:35:46apart from Millicent Fawcett,
0:35:46 > 0:35:49whose planned statue is being welcomed
0:35:49 > 0:35:53as it will be the first female statue in Parliament Square.
0:35:53 > 0:35:56At the moment, the most popular statues in Parliament Square are,
0:35:56 > 0:36:00one, Winston Churchill, two, Abraham Lincoln, and...
0:36:00 > 0:36:04# Three! Nelson Mandela! #
0:36:04 > 0:36:07LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:36:12 > 0:36:16The offending naked statue of Archimedes is outside the owner's house.
0:36:16 > 0:36:20I'm told it's a large, impressive semi, but don't know much about the house.
0:36:25 > 0:36:28It's all smut with you, Kirsty, isn't it?
0:36:28 > 0:36:30I've got to get it out somehow, Ian.
0:36:30 > 0:36:33So, it's time now for the Missing Words round,
0:36:33 > 0:36:36which this week features as its guest publication...
0:36:39 > 0:36:43It's a good read, despite always getting slammed by the critics.
0:36:44 > 0:36:46And we start with...
0:36:51 > 0:36:53Waffles on and on and on...
0:36:55 > 0:36:56The answer is...
0:36:58 > 0:37:01This week, Avik Caron was sentenced to five years in jail
0:37:01 > 0:37:05after pleading guilty to stealing over 3,000 tonnes of syrup,
0:37:05 > 0:37:08- valued at 18 million.- Wow.
0:37:08 > 0:37:11One Canadian journalist said the theft was...
0:37:19 > 0:37:21Particularly bad news, the Quebec Maple Syrup Company.
0:37:21 > 0:37:25Yeah, well, it's about time somebody stuck it to those bastards, isn't it?
0:37:26 > 0:37:29So, Paul...
0:37:29 > 0:37:31Next...
0:37:34 > 0:37:35S&M gear.
0:37:38 > 0:37:40I actually saw this story. It was good because, you know,
0:37:40 > 0:37:44- it's obviously a disaster for me.- Yes.- It's gold hot pants.
0:37:44 > 0:37:45- LAUGHING: That's right.- What?
0:37:49 > 0:37:50APPLAUSE
0:37:50 > 0:37:53Is that where you've been getting yours, too?
0:37:53 > 0:37:57I put an order in just before Christmas.
0:37:57 > 0:37:58Next...
0:38:03 > 0:38:05Two very satisfied customers
0:38:05 > 0:38:08from Henry Gibson's Door Company, Stratford.
0:38:08 > 0:38:11"I always buy my doors here," says a delighted Davro.
0:38:11 > 0:38:13- JON:- Will host Door Of The Year Awards.
0:38:13 > 0:38:16- Yes, they'll be... - Present? Ah, that's good.
0:38:16 > 0:38:17..at the Federation shindig.
0:38:17 > 0:38:19Yeah, the answer is...
0:38:21 > 0:38:22Ah, you see.
0:38:22 > 0:38:26Oh, the HARDWARE Federation's got in there, then. They've sneaked in.
0:38:26 > 0:38:28Before the performance,
0:38:28 > 0:38:30the Federation showed Bobby their wider range of products.
0:38:30 > 0:38:33Not the first time, he turned up and was very quickly
0:38:33 > 0:38:34shown the door.
0:38:34 > 0:38:36Next...
0:38:38 > 0:38:40Laughing loudly behind old women in building societies.
0:38:43 > 0:38:45I was very good at that when I was about 19, but, no,
0:38:45 > 0:38:47"It's not a sport." Oh, well.
0:38:47 > 0:38:49One rule for the rich.
0:38:51 > 0:38:53- Is it bribery?- No!
0:38:53 > 0:38:56That's not an ALTERNATIVE Olympic sport.
0:38:56 > 0:38:58- Oh, sorry.- That is a mainstream. - Mainstream, core.
0:38:58 > 0:39:00No, the answer is...
0:39:01 > 0:39:05This week, UK Sport made a series of cuts to their Olympic budget.
0:39:05 > 0:39:08Some people submitted cheaper alternative sports,
0:39:08 > 0:39:10including the sport of rolling tyres down a ski jump.
0:39:10 > 0:39:12Shall we have a clip, to see what it looks like?
0:39:12 > 0:39:15I think we should have a look, if it's there.
0:39:32 > 0:39:34That was brilliant!
0:39:34 > 0:39:37APPLAUSE
0:39:37 > 0:39:40The object is to see who can get the tyre to jump the furthest.
0:39:40 > 0:39:44One man once got 45 metres and that must have been a good year.
0:39:44 > 0:39:47GROANS
0:39:47 > 0:39:49And, lastly...
0:39:53 > 0:39:54Invade Gibraltar.
0:39:57 > 0:39:59They will. You just can't trust 'em.
0:39:59 > 0:40:04- They're threatening to come to Britain.- Robert, you're quite right.
0:40:04 > 0:40:05Experts have warned that
0:40:05 > 0:40:09an amorous Spanish slug is currently invading Britain,
0:40:09 > 0:40:12mating with native species and creating super-slugs,
0:40:12 > 0:40:16which are threatening to ruin gardens and crops this summer.
0:40:16 > 0:40:17One scientist claimed it was
0:40:17 > 0:40:20the biggest threat to British slugs since...
0:40:24 > 0:40:27Although the Durham slug is actually just a northern snail
0:40:27 > 0:40:30that refuses to wear a shell, even in winter.
0:40:32 > 0:40:34APPLAUSE
0:40:36 > 0:40:38So, the final scores are
0:40:38 > 0:40:40Ian and Jon have seven,
0:40:40 > 0:40:41Paul and Robert have nine.
0:40:41 > 0:40:43APPLAUSE
0:40:43 > 0:40:45Well done, mate, well done.
0:40:51 > 0:40:54On which note, we say thank you to our panellists,
0:40:54 > 0:40:57Ian Hislop and Jon Richardson, Paul Merton and Robert Peston,
0:40:57 > 0:40:59and I leave you with news that
0:40:59 > 0:41:02with the election campaign meaning an early start every morning,
0:41:02 > 0:41:05Jacob Rees-Mogg gets a new alarm clock.
0:41:09 > 0:41:12In Val d'Isere, one skier makes sure he has safely
0:41:12 > 0:41:16tucked his Samsung Galaxy Note 7 into his back pocket.
0:41:20 > 0:41:23And in a Washington recording studio,
0:41:23 > 0:41:26the first take is laid down for the powerful rock ballad
0:41:26 > 0:41:28It's Gonna Be So Great.
0:41:34 > 0:41:35Goodnight.
0:41:35 > 0:41:38APPLAUSE