0:00:36 > 0:00:40Good evening. Welcome to Have I Got News For You? I'm Jo Brand. In the
0:00:40 > 0:00:50news this week... While watching the Tory Conference on TV, one
0:00:50 > 0:00:57
0:00:57 > 0:01:00viewer is surprised to get a Police admit they should have
0:01:00 > 0:01:05reacted more forcefully after Colonel Gaddafi is discovered
0:01:05 > 0:01:11living in a bedsit in Sheffield. What we will do is, we will keep on
0:01:11 > 0:01:15calling over the next few weeks, just to see what you're up to.
0:01:15 > 0:01:25after drowning his sorrows at a depressing Labour Party conference,
0:01:25 > 0:01:38
0:01:38 > 0:01:42Alistair Darling decides it is time On Ian's team tonight is... A
0:01:42 > 0:01:52writer with a well-known love for the English language, who says... I
0:01:52 > 0:02:01
0:02:01 > 0:02:06And with Paul tonight is... A comedy writer who in the past has
0:02:06 > 0:02:16declared, most people think a show is made up by the cast as they go
0:02:16 > 0:02:25
0:02:26 > 0:02:35along. Oh, dear, I have not been given a punchline for that one.
0:02:36 > 0:02:42
0:02:42 > 0:02:51Shall we play a game of fox or cat? You get the first go. That is the
0:02:51 > 0:02:59best game I have ever played. not understand it. It's landed on
0:02:59 > 0:03:04fox here's your foxy footage. are looking for the mystery man. Is
0:03:04 > 0:03:10this a new game, where is Werritty? You get a huge picture, and you
0:03:10 > 0:03:14have to guess, he's the tall one who has not got a proper pass.
0:03:14 > 0:03:18course, it relates to the close friendship between Liam Fox and
0:03:18 > 0:03:23Adam Werritty. And they are close, there is no denying it. Let's have
0:03:23 > 0:03:26a look at Liam Fox. They're very close shall we have a look at Liam
0:03:26 > 0:03:30Fox? Oh, and look, there's Adam Werritty. Here's Liam Fox again. Oh,
0:03:30 > 0:03:40and there's Adam again. And here's Liam Fox again. And who's that with
0:03:40 > 0:03:43
0:03:43 > 0:03:48him? Oh. It's his wife. So where's Adam? There he is! You say that is
0:03:48 > 0:03:53his wife, it could be a cut-out of her head, stuck on his shoulder.
0:03:53 > 0:03:57The press have been making of the fact that he's 17 years younger, he
0:03:57 > 0:04:01shared a house with him, and he got him a job. But by the time this
0:04:01 > 0:04:08goes out, he may not be in a job any more, because printers said he
0:04:08 > 0:04:13has got his full support. This is the Defence Secretary. Is a British
0:04:13 > 0:04:17to be upset about possible corruption? Because, most of the
0:04:17 > 0:04:23time, what Liam Fox is doing is making sure that weapons and guns
0:04:23 > 0:04:28go all round the world. Usually we then decide five minutes later that
0:04:28 > 0:04:35they are evil and we have to go and from them. That's not his actual
0:04:35 > 0:04:40job remit. But it turns out he has taken this friend out to a steak
0:04:40 > 0:04:44house, that's the moral problem. It is like finding out Peter Sutcliffe
0:04:44 > 0:04:48has a parking ticket. I suppose one of the BRIAN MOORE: Problems is
0:04:48 > 0:04:52that the new Prime Minister came in and said, it is a real problem in
0:04:52 > 0:04:58the previous government, lobbying, we're going to sort it out.
0:04:58 > 0:05:05And so, in the biggest Ministry, with the biggest budget, there's a
0:05:05 > 0:05:10bloke there and no-one knows who he is! So Werritty turns up, and
0:05:10 > 0:05:14there's a American general, and he says, have you met Adam Werritty?
0:05:14 > 0:05:20He is not vetted biosecurity, would you like to tell him everything
0:05:20 > 0:05:25about your job? Yes, fine, that would be super. You said four-star
0:05:25 > 0:05:31American general, is that one of those American restaurants? Let's
0:05:31 > 0:05:39have a look at his card. It looks quite posh. He has not thought this
0:05:39 > 0:05:41through, because he has crossed out Sunday strangely tried to get some
0:05:42 > 0:05:51speculation going about their relationship. It got right to the
0:05:52 > 0:05:53
0:05:53 > 0:06:03heart of the matter... Here's Begin evidence. To be fair, they are at a
0:06:03 > 0:06:03
0:06:03 > 0:06:07wedding. Let's try this one. what are they doing there? That is
0:06:07 > 0:06:13a bit weird. What did Liam Fox actually do when the issue hit the
0:06:13 > 0:06:17headlines? He demanded an immediate inquiry into what he had been doing.
0:06:17 > 0:06:19If he found out that anyone doing had occurred, he would be the first
0:06:20 > 0:06:25to know about it, and he would be extremely disappointed if that was
0:06:25 > 0:06:30the case. He used a curious phrase in the House of Commons when he was
0:06:31 > 0:06:36asked if Werritty had made any money. Yes, he denied there was any
0:06:36 > 0:06:40transaction or behaviour. People do not use language like that if they
0:06:40 > 0:06:45have got something to hide. That is a weird thing to say. Are you
0:06:45 > 0:06:49suggesting that the Defence Secretary has something to hide?
0:06:49 > 0:06:54Why do you keep saying that, that's obviously what we are all
0:06:55 > 0:07:02suggesting. I'm shocked. He did one of those brilliant apologies which
0:07:02 > 0:07:07politicians do. He said, mistakes were made. By whom? You at all.? It
0:07:07 > 0:07:15is a brilliant use of the passive. An impression of wrong doing. Funny,
0:07:16 > 0:07:23you get that impression! This is my impression of wrong doing. That's
0:07:23 > 0:07:30really good! Do you know where Adam Werritty was living rent-free in
0:07:30 > 0:07:332002? He was living in Liam Fox's flat. He was, funded almost
0:07:33 > 0:07:38entirely out of Liam Fox's in the expenses as an MP. It is worth
0:07:38 > 0:07:43reminding ourselves that in order to renovate this flat, Liam Fox
0:07:43 > 0:07:47upped the mortgage on it by �180,000, and then he upped his
0:07:47 > 0:07:52expenses claims to cover it. Which means that in a way, you and I were
0:07:52 > 0:07:57paying for Adam Werritty's accommodation. What a nice thought.
0:07:57 > 0:08:05Let's go to Dubai. What did Liam Fox say about how the meeting had
0:08:05 > 0:08:09come about? He said it came about by accident. He said, we both
0:08:09 > 0:08:13happened to be arriving in Dubai. As luck would have it, Werritty
0:08:13 > 0:08:19happened to be in a restaurant and the American businessman happened
0:08:19 > 0:08:22to be on the next table. That was lucky, wasn't it? Here's the
0:08:22 > 0:08:27American businessman concerned, Harvey Boulter. He has got a nice
0:08:27 > 0:08:31pair of big, yellow trousers on. That's the kind of guy you just
0:08:31 > 0:08:40know he's a really nice guy. Ladies in bikini is do not just trust
0:08:40 > 0:08:45anybody. They're not ladies in bikinis, they're special advisers!
0:08:45 > 0:08:55What did Adam Werritty have regular access to? You can take that any
0:08:55 > 0:08:57
0:08:57 > 0:09:01way you want. Is that the answer? Access to his diary. So, when he
0:09:01 > 0:09:05was returning home from all war- zone, Mr Werritty knew where he
0:09:05 > 0:09:10would be. You would think, if he had access to his diary, he would
0:09:10 > 0:09:17be able to plan ahead a bit more, rather than relying on chance. Yes,
0:09:17 > 0:09:21- and the only bit of Fox News worth watching. As speculation grew
0:09:21 > 0:09:27over the nature of Liam Fox's relationship with Adam Werritty,
0:09:27 > 0:09:32The Guardian reported that support from backbenchers had been...
0:09:32 > 0:09:41That's from their new political correspondent, Julian Clary.
0:09:41 > 0:09:51According to BBC News... Either that or his wife had just come home
0:09:51 > 0:10:01early. Liam Fox is no stranger to controversy. He was once forced to
0:10:01 > 0:10:03
0:10:03 > 0:10:06make a public apology after describing the Spice Girls as... It
0:10:06 > 0:10:13was then that he realised, to keep him out of trouble, what he really
0:10:13 > 0:10:16needed was an advisor. Paul and Graham, you get the next spin.
0:10:16 > 0:10:23CHEERING Somebody cheered, you're easily pleased! So we've got the
0:10:23 > 0:10:27cat, that was the one option left. So this is the cat that didn't bark
0:10:27 > 0:10:33in the night. Theresa May said, "I'm not making this up," then said
0:10:33 > 0:10:39something that was made up. Shall we take a look at this then.
0:10:39 > 0:10:43we're supposed to talk, aren't we? Oh, yeah! LAUGHTER I'm so in to
0:10:43 > 0:10:46silent film I thought it was one I hadn't seen! There's Charlie
0:10:46 > 0:10:51Chaplin, oh no, it's not him. Cat coming through the door. I see.
0:10:51 > 0:10:58Think we covered that! Yeah, well done! Well done, I drifted off
0:10:58 > 0:11:01completely. So it's the cat she made up that wasn't made up that
0:11:01 > 0:11:04she did make up. The cat didn't want to emigrate and someone found
0:11:04 > 0:11:08out it had a job as a window cleaner, but it spoke fluent
0:11:08 > 0:11:17Bulgarian and was allowed to stay. I'm not making this up! What's the
0:11:17 > 0:11:21cat's name, do you know? William Johnson. The cat's name is Maya.
0:11:21 > 0:11:24That's right. It's a bit like Theresa May, which is one of those
0:11:24 > 0:11:30coincidences that Mr Fox would appreciate. There's a televis Dr
0:11:30 > 0:11:37Fox's Mysterious World. Fantastic Mr Fox! The Underwater
0:11:37 > 0:11:42World With Adam Werritty. Bob-bob- bob! What does the whole situation
0:11:42 > 0:11:47prove? That when politicians make things up, they shouldn't say, "And
0:11:47 > 0:11:54I'm not making this up." What do you want to know about this cat?
0:11:54 > 0:11:59Yeah, what do you want to know?! Who are you?! I don't know. I think
0:11:59 > 0:12:02we found that out earlier, I've got no idea. Why are you asking all
0:12:02 > 0:12:06these questions? I only came in for a passport. I'm not standing for
0:12:06 > 0:12:09this. How many years does it take to get a passport? I know a bloke
0:12:09 > 0:12:14who could probably fix one! Do I have to travel under the name of
0:12:14 > 0:12:19Adam Werritty? I don't mind, I've done worse. Have you? No. I didn't
0:12:19 > 0:12:22think so. I haven't got the nerve. Personally, I was relieved to hear
0:12:22 > 0:12:28a cat was a sign of having a settled family life. I wish someone
0:12:28 > 0:12:34would tell my mother that. Theresa May used it to illustrate the sorry
0:12:34 > 0:12:37state of justice in this country. In front of a home Tory audience
0:12:37 > 0:12:44she said, "You know, there was a Bolivian student immigrant who was
0:12:44 > 0:12:47allowed to stay just because of his cat." Ken Clarke was in the
0:12:47 > 0:12:53audience and no-one's told him the etiquette of being in the Tory
0:12:53 > 0:12:59party because he said, "Childish rubbish!" Which was considered very
0:12:59 > 0:13:03bad form, so then they had this argument. And who was proved right?
0:13:03 > 0:13:07In the original case, the cat was brought up, it was a Bolivian
0:13:07 > 0:13:11student who was caught shoplifting and cautioned. When he appealed to
0:13:11 > 0:13:16stay, one of the things they said was that he had a cat, he and his
0:13:16 > 0:13:24partner but it wasn't the main reason. So the truth was as evernot
0:13:24 > 0:13:27there. But the funny thing was Chris Huhne who is also meant to be
0:13:27 > 0:13:30in the Cabinet, rang up the Guardian and said, "She got this
0:13:30 > 0:13:34speech from Nigel Farrage, the bloke at UKIP, he made the same
0:13:34 > 0:13:42speech." But when he pressed the button on his phone, it went public
0:13:42 > 0:13:46so everyone knew he'd try to shop his Cabinet colleague. That wasn't
0:13:46 > 0:13:51a text, that was Twitter. Someone tweeted it and it said, "I don't
0:13:51 > 0:13:59want my fingerprints anywhere near this." So what's the button you
0:13:59 > 0:14:04press wrong? Send! He was trying to send what's called a direct message
0:14:04 > 0:14:10that no-one else can see. It's like CC-ing everyone in the world on an
0:14:10 > 0:14:20email. I hate everybody. Aargh! shall we have a look at Theresa
0:14:20 > 0:14:20
0:14:20 > 0:14:25May? Yes, why not? I insist on it. ..Who cannot be moved because he
0:14:25 > 0:14:32has a girlfriend. The illegal immigrant who cannot be deported
0:14:32 > 0:14:42because, and I am not making this up, because he had a pet cat. Let's
0:14:42 > 0:14:44
0:14:44 > 0:14:47Under the Human Rights Act, he claimed that he should not be
0:14:47 > 0:14:50deported because, and I really am not making this up, because he had
0:14:50 > 0:14:53a pet cat. The brilliant thing about Farage is that when he told
0:14:53 > 0:14:56the story, he managed to get the nationality of the guy wrong, and
0:14:56 > 0:15:01called him a Peruvian, and then turned him into a murderer! Rather
0:15:01 > 0:15:08than a shoplifter! A Bolivian shoplifter becomes a Peruvian
0:15:08 > 0:15:13murderer?! Who, come on, who intervened to smooth things over?
0:15:14 > 0:15:18Lionel Blair! Was it Tony Blair? it wasn't. Did he step in and solve
0:15:18 > 0:15:27it and then make 3 million quid on the way? That's who I meant, not
0:15:27 > 0:15:30Lionel Blair! No, it was Nick Clegg, he said both sides were right. Do
0:15:30 > 0:15:37you know how Camilo came to the attention of the immigration
0:15:37 > 0:15:41authorities in the first place? shoplifted...a cat. Actually, well,
0:15:41 > 0:15:45not a real one. He nicked a knickknack. A ceramic cat? He's got
0:15:45 > 0:15:52a collection of cat toys? Oh, no, he's one of those people that likes
0:15:52 > 0:16:01cat calendars and cat memorabilia, they should deport him. Do you know
0:16:01 > 0:16:03where they live? Catford. Actually, Elephant and Castle, poor
0:16:03 > 0:16:08bastards. Staying with catty comments, let's talk about retail
0:16:08 > 0:16:11guru and adviser to David Cameron, Mary Portas. She said something
0:16:11 > 0:16:21very rude in a magazine interview about Tory female ministers, do you
0:16:21 > 0:16:22
0:16:22 > 0:16:25know what it was? They're all ugly, And of course they don't allow this
0:16:25 > 0:16:28sort of sexist attitude towards women in Ed Miliband's Labour Party,
0:16:28 > 0:16:33do they? Anyone know what they've called the new influx of women into
0:16:33 > 0:16:41Ed's new Shadow Cabinet? The Mili- tarts or something?
0:16:41 > 0:16:47LAUGHTER. Something like that. Ed Miliband's
0:16:47 > 0:16:55Bunch of Rough Prostitutes? Trollops and strumpets, every one
0:16:55 > 0:16:58of them! It's Millie's Fillies. That's hideous, isn't it? This is
0:16:58 > 0:17:03the story, and I'm not making this up, about two Cabinet ministers
0:17:03 > 0:17:07arguing over a cat. Asked about the relationship between Ken Clarke and
0:17:07 > 0:17:12Theresa May, one senior Tory said, "They hate each other". Blimey, two
0:17:12 > 0:17:15Tory MPs I agree with. Mary Portas, self-crowned Queen of Shops, has
0:17:15 > 0:17:25attacked the fashion sense of the four female ministers in the
0:17:25 > 0:17:30Yeah, sod the budget deficit, let's find a nice push-up bra for
0:17:30 > 0:17:34Baroness Warsi. Mary Portas was recently appointed a Downing Street
0:17:34 > 0:17:37adviser on Britain's retail industry. Yes, you heard that right,
0:17:37 > 0:17:45Mary Portas is an official Government adviser. Yet another
0:17:45 > 0:17:55kick in the teeth for Adam Werritty. And so to the Picture Spin Quiz.
0:17:55 > 0:17:56
0:17:56 > 0:18:00The clue is the ferry, this is the English rugby team coming back from
0:18:00 > 0:18:03their not very happy World Cup. This is a member of the team
0:18:03 > 0:18:08deciding the best way to celebrate being knocked out was to jump off
0:18:08 > 0:18:11the ferry and swim to the pontoon, I guess it's called. It's another
0:18:11 > 0:18:15story in a rather disastrous tour abroad for the English rugby team.
0:18:15 > 0:18:19Do you know the name of the guy who jumped off the ferry? No. It starts
0:18:19 > 0:18:29with M. And it sounds a bit New Zealand-y. (IN NEW ZEALAND ACCENT)
0:18:29 > 0:18:30
0:18:30 > 0:18:33Michael. My name's Michael. That's terrible! His name's actually Manu
0:18:33 > 0:18:40Tuilagi. Do you know what the repercussions were? He met David
0:18:40 > 0:18:43Walliams? He was detained by New Zealand police and fined three
0:18:43 > 0:18:49grand by the Rugby Football Union, and the ferry company condemned the
0:18:49 > 0:18:57stupid stunt. At least, I think that's what they said. England
0:18:57 > 0:19:05coach Martin Johnson also said he had been "disciplined internally".
0:19:05 > 0:19:09And the biggest scandal involved Zara Phillips' new hubby Mike
0:19:09 > 0:19:14Tindall, of course. What did he get up to? Nothing. But that's not what
0:19:15 > 0:19:24it looked like on the suspicious footage. Let's just have a look at
0:19:24 > 0:19:27a picture of him and see what you think. She could be inflating him.
0:19:27 > 0:19:30Do you know what was noteworthy about the venue that evening?
0:19:30 > 0:19:37was a bar where the entertainment is dwarf throwing. That's correct,
0:19:37 > 0:19:40it was their Mad Midget Weekender. And I'm not making it up! What did
0:19:40 > 0:19:46the bar manager, Rich Dean, have to say about it? "We're open every
0:19:46 > 0:19:52Monday". He actually insisted the England squad were impeccably
0:19:52 > 0:20:02behaved. How can you be badly behaved at a midget throwing bar?
0:20:02 > 0:20:09
0:20:09 > 0:20:16You refuse to throw a midget, I Tell that to the little people,
0:20:16 > 0:20:18Rich. Mike Tindall got into trouble when he was seen in a bar with an
0:20:18 > 0:20:23old flame. Old flame, of course, meaning ex-girlfriend, not
0:20:23 > 0:20:27something shooting out of a rugby player's buttocks.
0:20:27 > 0:20:30Time now for the Odd One Out round. One between you this week, and the
0:20:30 > 0:20:40four are: Agatha Christie, wheelchair rioter David Knott,
0:20:40 > 0:20:40
0:20:40 > 0:20:45Kirsty Young, and Sir Cliff Richard. Only Agatha Christie is dead.
0:20:45 > 0:20:50that it? (GRAHAM) That's why you buzzed?! Do you think it would be
0:20:50 > 0:20:53that simple? It might be. It isn't. Agatha Christie was a keen
0:20:53 > 0:20:59windsurfer. It's not windsurfing, it's surfing. Surfing. Did the
0:20:59 > 0:21:02rioter use his stolen television as a surfboard? No. Think about what
0:21:02 > 0:21:09you do when you're surfing. You're riding the wave.
0:21:09 > 0:21:13SILENCE, THEN LAUGHTER. I'm going to give you a clue that would befit
0:21:13 > 0:21:19seven-year-olds. Do you sit down when you're surfing? You stand up.
0:21:19 > 0:21:24You stand up on a surfboard... seems like a very cruel Odd One
0:21:24 > 0:21:31Out! They all stand up to do their job. Kirsty stands, Sir Cliff sings
0:21:31 > 0:21:41standing up. Agatha Christie wrote standing up. Yes! On a surfboard!
0:21:41 > 0:21:46He stole stuff sitting down. That is pretty much it!
0:21:46 > 0:21:48APPLAUSE. So, the odd one out is, in fact, David Knott, the
0:21:48 > 0:21:51wheelchair rioter who, during the riots this summer, was confined to
0:21:51 > 0:22:01a wheelchair because of a broken leg, but still managed to get
0:22:01 > 0:22:06caught on camera stealing a TV from Argos. Shocking, isn't it? Who the
0:22:06 > 0:22:10hell would want an Alba telly? Sorry, is the connection that they
0:22:10 > 0:22:19can all stand up apart from the man in the wheelchair?! No, no...
0:22:19 > 0:22:23LAUGHTER. No! It's slightly more complex. I hope so! I'll tell you
0:22:23 > 0:22:26in a minute. Agatha Christie, according to a new book, may have
0:22:26 > 0:22:30been among the first Britons to learn how to surf standing up.
0:22:30 > 0:22:36Shall we have a look at her with her board? Fred, is that the name
0:22:36 > 0:22:43of the board? That's not something she stole from the cemetery, is it?
0:22:43 > 0:22:47The bit you can't see, "May he rest in peace". She must have been a
0:22:47 > 0:22:52really good surfer to surf on a tombstone! That's how Fred drowned
0:22:52 > 0:22:57in the first place! And Kirsty Young in 1997 became the first
0:22:57 > 0:23:07British newsreader to read the news standing up. Cliff Richard this
0:23:07 > 0:23:08
0:23:08 > 0:23:16There's one other thing Cliff does to avoid curvature of the spine. He
0:23:16 > 0:23:18Yes, it's all about posture, Cliff. Back straight, toothbrush held
0:23:18 > 0:23:24firmly in one hand, teeth held firmly in the other.
0:23:24 > 0:23:28LAUGHTER. He has got a sexy calendar out this Christmas. Do you
0:23:28 > 0:23:31know what sort of poses it includes? Topless. In January, he's
0:23:31 > 0:23:37hugging a dolphin. In April, he's caressing a horse. In October, he's
0:23:38 > 0:23:44stabbing a camel. LAUGHTER. TS Eliot said it was the
0:23:44 > 0:23:54cruellest month. LAUGHTER. Cliff is currently
0:23:54 > 0:23:55
0:23:55 > 0:24:01promoting his 2012 calendar. He Because no-one can tell where the
0:24:01 > 0:24:03jacket stops and the neck begins. Time now for the Missing Words
0:24:03 > 0:24:08round, which this week features as its guest publication The Telegraph
0:24:08 > 0:24:18Pole Appreciation Society newsletter. They don't do pylons,
0:24:18 > 0:24:20
0:24:20 > 0:24:24they're not perverts! We start Poles? Drunk? Hungover? (GRAHAM)
0:24:24 > 0:24:31Lost. Bribed. (GRAHAM) Hot? Robbed? (VICTORIA) Cheating? Cranky?
0:24:31 > 0:24:41Unified under Bismarck? I would love "unified under Bismarck" to be
0:24:41 > 0:24:41
0:24:41 > 0:24:44In drugs tests after the 1966 World Cup final, three Germans gave
0:24:44 > 0:24:47samples that revealed traces of a drug from a cold remedy, while
0:24:47 > 0:24:57Bobby Charlton's sample revealed suspiciously high levels of hair
0:24:57 > 0:25:05
0:25:05 > 0:25:09It might be a bit long, but is it LAUGHTER. Is it a picture of
0:25:09 > 0:25:19Michael Winner smoking a cigar? Triumphantly on the set of his
0:25:19 > 0:25:24
0:25:24 > 0:25:34latest film. "Looks great!". Is it art? Is it a telegraph pole?
0:25:34 > 0:25:38
0:25:38 > 0:25:42Getting hot in here? Let's have a look and see what you think.
0:25:42 > 0:25:52couldn't be poo because the trajectory is wrong. I'm no
0:25:52 > 0:25:54
0:25:54 > 0:26:02That cartoon of Mohammed? Don't broadcast that! That's just for us.
0:26:02 > 0:26:05No, just for you, just for you! LAUGHTER. A group of Finnish
0:26:05 > 0:26:07lawyers have suggested new EU sexual harassment laws should cover
0:26:07 > 0:26:17women eating ice creams provocatively in front of male
0:26:17 > 0:26:18
0:26:18 > 0:26:25colleagues. I wouldn't do that, I always make sure I'm alone before I
0:26:25 > 0:26:35open my Mivvi. LAUGHTER.
0:26:35 > 0:26:42
0:26:42 > 0:26:51Do you get a 99 with that? Telegraph pole! Heart attack!
0:26:51 > 0:26:57Doughnut! Not far off. Doughnuts. Jam! Jam tomorrow. Jam today? Cake?
0:26:57 > 0:27:03Gateaux. Cake, ordinary cake. "Today doughnut, tomorrow ordinary
0:27:03 > 0:27:13cake?" Who would put that on a poster?! "Take the cherry off that
0:27:13 > 0:27:15
0:27:15 > 0:27:20cake, I want it ordinary!". going to have to tell you, it's,
0:27:20 > 0:27:24"Tomorrow, muffin". The final scores are Ian and
0:27:24 > 0:27:34Victoria have six, Paul and Graham, though, have seven.
0:27:34 > 0:27:35
0:27:35 > 0:27:40We had to lose, sorry. Before we go, just time for the
0:27:40 > 0:27:44Caption Competition. LAUGHTER. Fancy meeting you in Sri
0:27:44 > 0:27:46Lanka! And I leave you with news that
0:27:46 > 0:27:50moments before receiving his knighthood, there's some last-
0:27:50 > 0:27:56minute preparation for Sir Bruce Forsyth.
0:27:56 > 0:27:59LAUGHTER. In New Zealand, as the England
0:27:59 > 0:28:07rugby team are again accused of sexual harassment, the victim tries
0:28:07 > 0:28:09to avoid the paparazzi. LAUGHTER.