Episode 1

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:00:45. > :00:49.Good evening, welcome to Have I Got News For You, I'm Stephen Mangan.

:00:49. > :00:54.In the news this week, China, responding to international

:00:54. > :01:04.pressure, Apple grudgingly allow their factory workers out for a

:01:04. > :01:04.

:01:04. > :01:10.five-minute tea break. On the Costa del Sol, as an East

:01:10. > :01:16.End gang, burst into a bank with Shaun-off shotguns, the safe

:01:16. > :01:26.cracker realises he has overslept. And in Westminster, Eric Pickles

:01:26. > :01:27.

:01:27. > :01:32.finally gets round to cleaning the fluff out of his belly button.

:01:32. > :01:37.It's delicious on toast. With Ian tonight is a writer and

:01:37. > :01:47.broadcaster, who says she hates people who are chronically pedantic

:01:47. > :01:47.

:01:47. > :01:53.over puntuation. Hang on, on Ian as team, comma, welcome Grace Dent.

:01:53. > :01:56.And with Paul tonight is the son of a vicar who studied divinity at

:01:56. > :02:01.university, plays a Church of England lay reader in the sitcom

:02:01. > :02:08.Rev, and is odds on to become the Archbishop of Canterbury, Miles

:02:08. > :02:14.Jupp. And we start with the bigger

:02:14. > :02:21.stories of the week. Ian and Grace take a look at this.

:02:21. > :02:25.Tax return. Never a welcome sight. "no tax due", that is a Downing

:02:26. > :02:31.Street kitchen supper. There is George Osborne. Not having a good

:02:31. > :02:34.time. He's just spotted some tax someone's paid. Very, very small.

:02:34. > :02:39.Essentially Osborne was incredibly amazed to find a lot of rich people

:02:39. > :02:45.and companies don't pay any tax. It was a discovery right up there with

:02:45. > :02:49.gravity and DNA. This is the shock news that many people try to avoid

:02:49. > :02:55.paying tax. My favourite is one senior Tory Party donor spent a

:02:55. > :02:59.night in a private jet, flying from Luton Airport out of British

:02:59. > :03:05.Aerospace to avoid staying in the country for more than 90 days, thus

:03:05. > :03:13.qualifying as a resident abroad for tax purps. In a plane. -- Purposes.

:03:13. > :03:18.In a plane? Could he not teter a balloon. You have to leave the

:03:18. > :03:26.airspace. You can't just jump up and down. London Luton is so far

:03:26. > :03:30.away from London is it is in international airspace? He flew

:03:30. > :03:35.from Luton out of London Air space. If you set down anywhere they get

:03:35. > :03:39.you for tax. It is more enjoyable as a rich person and go nowhere,

:03:39. > :03:43.sit in an airport saying you're saving money, they are a miserable

:03:43. > :03:47.bunch. When it comes to tax, what does every politician want?

:03:47. > :03:52.declare their own tax affairs and make them public. Transparency?

:03:52. > :03:56.Exactly. What do they mean in this case? We are not going to do it.

:03:56. > :04:00.They mean revealing a small amount of information that doesn't mean

:04:00. > :04:06.too much. You put income in, if income isn't your big thing, say

:04:06. > :04:13.assets, say you are in the cabinet, thinking randomly, then you don't

:04:13. > :04:17.have to declare those. Transparency up to a point, which is opaque!

:04:18. > :04:21.Make as lot of sense, yes, according to the Guardian there is

:04:22. > :04:25.an agreement between Cameron and Osborne that all senior ministers

:04:25. > :04:31.should be transparent. Let's hope they don't mean Eric

:04:31. > :04:36.Pickles. According to the Express, Cameron

:04:36. > :04:40.is relaxed about revealing his income tax he returns. According to

:04:40. > :04:44.the Telegraph, George Osborne says he hasn't set his face against it.

:04:44. > :04:53.Which face does he use when he sets his face against it, does he use

:04:53. > :04:58.this face. Or this face? Or this face? So why

:04:58. > :05:02.is it all kicking off, what started this rumpus? It is Ken Livingstone,

:05:03. > :05:10.it was discovered that Ken had said that people who avoid tax are rich

:05:10. > :05:15.bastard who is shouldn't be allowed to vote. It turned out he pay as

:05:15. > :05:20.lot of money into a company, which is not taxed at 40%, but corporate

:05:20. > :05:25.tax at 21%, a lot of people thought he's avoiding tax, what a bastard.

:05:25. > :05:35.Then there was a fight between him and Boris. In a radio station?

:05:35. > :05:35.

:05:35. > :05:42.lift. Did he call him a lying banker. I think it was the F-word.

:05:42. > :05:49.So a BEEP lying banker. He's one of our finest banks. You are very

:05:49. > :05:56.close. Boris screamed into Ken's face, you are a beeping liar.

:05:56. > :05:59.Presumably a phrase Boris picked up from his wife! How is Ken's

:05:59. > :06:04.election campaign going? Well, he was shown a film of himself this

:06:04. > :06:07.week, and he was absolutely moved to tears by the image of himself,

:06:07. > :06:11.just people talking about how wonderful he was. He had a little

:06:11. > :06:17.cry. Not just a little cry, a proper cry.

:06:17. > :06:23.It was like a cartoon bear cry. He's saying, I don't believe you're

:06:23. > :06:29.leader of the Labour Party! would be interesting to know what

:06:29. > :06:32.Miliband is smelling at that particular moment! I met Ken just

:06:32. > :06:37.before Christmas, I was doing a panel with him, as part of that

:06:37. > :06:41.panel I was given, someone gave me a gift of the copy of the Koran,

:06:41. > :06:51.afterwards I went into the Green Room, and Ken was sitting on the

:06:51. > :06:51.

:06:51. > :06:56.arm of a sofa, I was carrying the Koran and biro, he looked up at me,

:06:56. > :07:03.and Aspel a joke I said would you sign it for me Ken, and he took it

:07:03. > :07:08.from me and said, yeah, and I know have quite an inflammatory bit of

:07:08. > :07:13.literature in some people's eyes. Which trendy, ultra, touchy-feely

:07:13. > :07:17.companies have been avoiding tax? Amazon, who have made �7 billion

:07:17. > :07:21.and paid no corporate sales tax. That's perfectly reasonable, that

:07:22. > :07:28.is a tax rate of 0%, they have made billions of pounds and they pay no

:07:28. > :07:33.tax, what's your problem. There is a difference between avoidance and

:07:33. > :07:37.evasion. You would evade. I would not. I might evade. I'm not Ken

:07:37. > :07:41.Livingstone, you know. Amazon is under investigation by UK tax

:07:41. > :07:45.authorities for registering its UK sales operation in Luxembourg,

:07:45. > :07:51.claiming only its distribution arm is in the UK. In 2010 they would

:07:51. > :07:56.have paid �35 million in UK tax, but they managed to reduce that

:07:56. > :08:02.slightly to...nothing. Google are using a Dutch Sandwich,

:08:02. > :08:08.have you tried a Dutch Sandwich, Ian? Em... Google's UK operation is

:08:08. > :08:12.based in Ireland, where the rate of tax is half that of Britain, they

:08:12. > :08:18.fundamental the profits via the Netherlands to Bermuda, that

:08:18. > :08:24.enables them to pay a tax rate of a quarter of one per cent. If you

:08:24. > :08:34.Google tax, does it give you nothing? Right, moving from a tax

:08:34. > :08:39.

:08:39. > :08:47.on the rich and privileged to A-ta cks on the rich and trif lijed.

:08:47. > :08:53.Anyone swimming. Trenton Oldfield swam into the middle of the Thames

:08:53. > :09:00.and stopped the boat race. He was encouraging anarchist cleaners to

:09:00. > :09:04.not put toilet paper in the toilets of rich people. They would wipe

:09:04. > :09:11.their bums with poor people. Someone postered this on YouTube of

:09:11. > :09:19.Trenton in action. Trenton, Trenton, Trenton.

:09:19. > :09:29.Trenton. Right, Trenton.

:09:29. > :09:30.

:09:30. > :09:36.Oh Jesus Christ. The crowd were angry, according to

:09:36. > :09:45.the Mail they shouted "boo", and "take him to the tower".

:09:45. > :09:48.And most devastatingly of all, "is it David Walliams?"! This is the

:09:48. > :09:57.row over tax avoidance by the rich, or as they are known since the

:09:57. > :10:00.budget, the richer. According to a recent poll:

:10:00. > :10:04.The other 40% don't follow current affairs.

:10:04. > :10:08.Adding to the heartbreak of the rich, this week was Trenton

:10:08. > :10:13.Oldfield, who disrupted the boat race. To be honest, it is not the

:10:13. > :10:19.first sighting of a turd in the Thames.

:10:19. > :10:24.Yes, this was the 158th boat race, shown live on the BBC, according to

:10:24. > :10:27.the Sun, millions of TV viewers watched in stunned silence or

:10:27. > :10:33.posted angry messages on Twitter, and then a bloke appeared in the

:10:33. > :10:38.water to liven things up. Paul and Miles, some recent history for you.

:10:38. > :10:42.This is the pasty-gate story, David Cameron and the Sunday Times

:10:42. > :10:46.filming this bloke Cruddas, jerry cans, fill it up with petrol, if

:10:46. > :10:51.you haven't one, put it in your mouth. Francis Maude giving

:10:51. > :10:54.ridiculous advice to store petrol in sheds, or second houses. Just

:10:54. > :10:57.absolute nightmare situation, where people are doing this, it is very

:10:57. > :11:01.dangerous. This is the thing about, if you can't store it in your

:11:01. > :11:06.garage, store it in a pasty, at least you know where it is. As long

:11:06. > :11:11.as you don't heat it up, you won't pay 20% tax, or, indeed, blow your

:11:11. > :11:15.house up. It is pasties and petrol, I'm not never she which is which.

:11:15. > :11:19.look back at recent Government gaffes, involving the price of

:11:19. > :11:23.pasties, the panic buying of petrol, and the total pill lock, Peter

:11:23. > :11:28.Cruddas. How did George Osborne turn a pasty into a hot potato?

:11:28. > :11:36.There is some rule, if you buy it cold it is so much money, if it is

:11:36. > :11:40.heated up you pay 20% extra, it is now an ambient pasty, warmer than

:11:40. > :11:45.room temperature. Paul is right, if you queue for the pasty while it is

:11:45. > :11:49.warmed up and it goes cold again, it does this at the graph with what

:11:49. > :11:53.you have to pay. At the beginning of the queue it is 20% up, and then

:11:53. > :11:59.at the end of the queue it is cold it is 20% down. If you take it home

:11:59. > :12:03.and it is cold, you are owed a rebate. It is a terrifically well

:12:03. > :12:07.thought out piece of legislation. After accusations that the

:12:07. > :12:11.Government was out-of-touch with ordinary people's love of pasties,

:12:11. > :12:17.what was David Cameron quick to announce? He said he had one

:12:17. > :12:20.recently. He said it he one in Leeds, and it no longer exists for

:12:20. > :12:25.the last five years, they were relegated from the Premiership and

:12:25. > :12:31.the area was dismandled. It is real acting talent, for all those people.

:12:31. > :12:37.Ed Milliband meetly went with Ed Balls to Greggs, and they both ate

:12:37. > :12:41.a pie, and the Tory cabinet had to all go there, "what is this?".

:12:41. > :12:50.you seen the size of the volume will you vents, they are huge, is

:12:50. > :12:56.there anybody in there. Do you eat pasties? I commute, and

:12:56. > :13:01.I was keen for that tax to go up to �1 million, the train I go on is

:13:01. > :13:04.blokes with too much to drink having a pasty shoving it in their

:13:04. > :13:10.face trying to soak it up. I'm sitting there trying to do the

:13:10. > :13:17.cross words, 20 minutes into the journey, nothing. Sometimes I fill

:13:17. > :13:26.in anything, to make people opposite me think I can do it.

:13:26. > :13:30.That's a sad life you conjure up there, these pasty-chomping, beer-

:13:30. > :13:35.soaked individuals, you are trying to impress by doing the cross word.

:13:35. > :13:42.There is issues of self-esteem here. Very sad. Was it in first class

:13:42. > :13:47.that people sit opposite you eating pasties. It is not first class, it

:13:47. > :13:57.is ordinary. Travelling standard? Yeah. Don't you feel threatened?

:13:57. > :13:58.

:13:58. > :14:02.has his own train! David Cameron said he loved a hot pasty, and had

:14:02. > :14:06.indeed bought one from the west Cornwall Pasty Company, he went on

:14:06. > :14:10.to tell this highly amusing anecdote. I seem to remember I was

:14:10. > :14:13.in Leeds Station at the time, the choice was whether to have one of

:14:13. > :14:21.the small ones or the large one, I have a feeling I opted for the

:14:21. > :14:27.large one and very good it was too. I think he was talking about the

:14:27. > :14:32.pasties there, not Leeds Station's wide variety of prostitutes. So was

:14:32. > :14:37.that an end? What did you say then? I didn't say anything. You are

:14:37. > :14:41.miming to a backing tape. I was out of British Aerospace at that time.

:14:41. > :14:43.Was that an end to the matter? Probably not. Everyone jumped on

:14:43. > :14:47.the bandwagon, a spokesman announced that Nick Clegg had eaten

:14:47. > :14:53.a pasty in the last few months at Paddington station.

:14:53. > :14:59.How big was it, if it's taken him a few months to eat it.

:14:59. > :15:03.He was waiting for Ian to turn up with the crossword. Ed Davey, the

:15:03. > :15:09.Energy Secretary, Lib Dem, announced he loves Cornish pasties,

:15:09. > :15:13.and once worked in a pork pie factory. Now he works in an even

:15:13. > :15:20.bigger one! We also saw Peter Cruddas, who was the Tory Party co-

:15:20. > :15:25.treasurer, what was he offering to feet to David Cameron? Money.

:15:25. > :15:29.Donors, you have to have dinner with Cameron if you paid enough

:15:29. > :15:35.money. You could influence Government policy for literally

:15:35. > :15:39.�250,000. Labour should have put up somebody, paid �250,000 go, in

:15:39. > :15:44.there, influence Government policy. Easy, don't win an election.

:15:44. > :15:48.Cruddas was secretly filmed offering access to David Cameron in

:15:48. > :15:55.exchange for large donations to the Tory Party, and offering to feed

:15:55. > :15:58.their suggestions in. Let's have a look. �200,000, �250,000 is Premier

:15:58. > :16:03.League. If you are unhappy about something, we will listen to you,

:16:03. > :16:07.and put it into the policy committee at Number Ten. We feed

:16:07. > :16:13.all feedback into the policy committee.

:16:13. > :16:17.What you can't see is he's talking to Nick Clegg! According to the

:16:17. > :16:21.Sunday Times Peter Cruddas boasted that he had flattered one donor,

:16:21. > :16:27.Lord Glendonbrook, into making a million pound donation, how did he

:16:27. > :16:32.do that? He said he would put him on the bank notes. It was a pyjama

:16:32. > :16:37.party at Number Ten, �250,000 gets you dinner, if you pay more, you

:16:37. > :16:42.can stay on for the...entertainment. They get a bit drunk, there is a

:16:42. > :16:47.bottle of whatever, they say let's play twister, and they go, I've

:16:47. > :16:52.forgotten my trousers, it is one of those nights.

:16:52. > :16:56.They go, it is a bit late, why don't you stay, I haven't got any

:16:56. > :17:02.pyjamas, and it doesn't matter. will put the central heating on,

:17:02. > :17:05.you wake up in the morning feeling so...oh sorry! He flattered him

:17:05. > :17:09.into doing it by presenting him with a birthday card, personally

:17:09. > :17:13.signed by David Cameron. When the undercover reporters asked what

:17:13. > :17:20.tactics he had used to persuade the Prime Minister to make the gesture.

:17:20. > :17:27.He replied, I told Number Ten, get him to sign the frigg ing card. The

:17:27. > :17:33.spotlight was on other donors, Baron Laidlaw has naid donations

:17:33. > :17:37.totalling �3 million, but heeped imbarsment on when admitting he was

:17:37. > :17:41.an orgy loving sex addict, Mr Cameron was forced to withdraw the

:17:41. > :17:46.whip! How did Francis Maude deftly manage to distract attention from

:17:46. > :17:53.the damage being done by pasties and Peter Cruddas? Put petrol in

:17:53. > :17:57.your bath! Drink as much of it as you can, keep it in your hat. Is

:17:57. > :18:03.there a spare pram in the hallway the children are growing out of,

:18:03. > :18:07.cover it in petrol, and push it outside on a hot sunny day, with

:18:07. > :18:11.magnified glass above it. Make your children wear paper clothes. All

:18:11. > :18:15.that sort of stuff. He suggested that a bit of extra

:18:16. > :18:22.fuel in a injurey can in the garage is a sensible precaution to take.

:18:22. > :18:29.Instead of rushesing to the garage to panic buy petrol, thousands

:18:29. > :18:36.rushed to Halfords to panic buy jerry cans, sales of which went up

:18:36. > :18:40.500%. Having given his verdict on the

:18:40. > :18:43.utter stupidity of panic buying petrol, he added, he was sitting in

:18:44. > :18:50.the queue for an hour. This is the run of scandals, including pasty-

:18:50. > :18:55.gate, dinner-gate, and the totally unnecessary panic over petrol,

:18:55. > :18:59.caused by ill-advised comments of Francis Maude-gate. David Cameron

:18:59. > :19:06.now claims he always has an end of the day pasty on the train.

:19:06. > :19:10.David, that's a beef Wellington! David Cameron claimed to have had a

:19:10. > :19:15.pastey and a Yorkshire pasty shop that had closed five years earlier,

:19:15. > :19:18.just after Eric Pickles moved from Yorkshire to London.

:19:18. > :19:23.As panic-buying continued, one AA man reported seeing a 75-year-old

:19:23. > :19:27.woman at a petrol station filling up 20 empty paint tins, and a tray

:19:27. > :19:33.of jam jars. Which sounds mad, but to be fair,

:19:33. > :19:39.it is the only way to store it, as she didn't have a car.

:19:39. > :19:43.Time now for the odd one out round. Your four are, the First Lady of

:19:43. > :19:53.Syria, Asma Al-Assad, Anthony Worrall-Thompson, a passenger

:19:53. > :19:53.

:19:53. > :19:57.aboard a private jet at Luton Airport, and the on-line shopper,

:19:57. > :20:04.Mr Cheo. She does on-line shopping, you can see what she has been

:20:04. > :20:08.treating herself to while thousands are being killed. It would get you

:20:08. > :20:13.down. Anthony Worrall-Thompson shops with the five-fringeered

:20:13. > :20:19.discount. What does that mean? Nicking stuff. Different world,

:20:19. > :20:23.innit, me and you. Who is the guy, he's buying things?

:20:23. > :20:30.He's an on-line shopper, that's the clue. He's shopping on-line, I

:20:30. > :20:36.reckon. It's like watching Sherlock homes

:20:36. > :20:41.at his finest. Teasing out the truth from a slender strand of clue.

:20:41. > :20:47.They are all candidates to become the next director-general. What,

:20:47. > :20:55.including Luton Airport. Is it tax? It is to do with paying? He doesn't

:20:55. > :20:58.pay. She hasn't paid any of her bills? Not quite. We don't know!

:20:58. > :21:02.The general air of gloom and despondancy we add to, we don't

:21:02. > :21:12.know either. They have all avoided paying the full amount, apart from

:21:12. > :21:12.

:21:12. > :21:16.an on-line shopper, named Mr Cheo, who paid a total of $12 million

:21:16. > :21:21.Taiwanese dollars to buy a croissant over the Internet. How

:21:21. > :21:31.did he do that? Pressed button of do you want to pay millions for

:21:31. > :21:35.this, and he pressed the button. translates as �250,000? Dinner with

:21:35. > :21:42.David Cameron. It wasn't a Nigerian writing to him saying would you

:21:42. > :21:45.like one of the fine croissants. You have inherited the croissants?

:21:45. > :21:50.Your uncle, Greggs the baker has died. He kept paying over and over

:21:50. > :21:57.again, after a number of phone calls asking for repayments from

:21:57. > :22:01.the skound reels, before his bank details were used to fleece him out

:22:02. > :22:07.of cash. He ended up paying �250,000? He couldn't have done.

:22:07. > :22:13.Where would he get it from. He's obviously a very rich man. How can

:22:13. > :22:17.anybody that stupid, unless he has inherited it, I have �250,000, I

:22:17. > :22:27.ain't half hungry, I'll have one of them. The fact is, he never

:22:27. > :22:29.

:22:29. > :22:33.received his croissant. It just gets worse and worse.

:22:33. > :22:42.What was Asma Al-Assad trying to get out of paying for? It was a

:22:42. > :22:46.ming vase, costing �3, 400, she sent details of the vase to the

:22:46. > :22:52.family's London-based fixer, he responded saying bought it, 15%

:22:52. > :22:55.discount, delivery ten weeks. She faces a two-year prison sentence

:22:55. > :23:02.because her shopping spree may have broken financial sanctions imposed

:23:02. > :23:08.on her husband. Still 15%, eh. Anthony Worrall-Thompson was caught

:23:08. > :23:12.shoplifting from Tescos, it was three onions and two tubs of

:23:12. > :23:19.discounted coleslaw. The toughest set of ingredients on Ready Steady

:23:19. > :23:26.Cook. We have talked about the passengers abroad the jet at Luton

:23:26. > :23:30.Airport, an unknown Tony donor! Tony donor, the passenger who had

:23:30. > :23:35.was an unnamed Tory donor, who frequently caught a helicopter to

:23:35. > :23:41.Luton Airport before zooming out of UK airspace in a private jet to

:23:41. > :23:45.avoid paying his full tax. Asma Al- Assad's parents were originally

:23:45. > :23:49.from Homs, the house they lived in is now commemorated with a large

:23:49. > :23:53.crater. She used to be an investment banker, one of the very

:23:53. > :23:58.few bankers to move on to something even more evil. Time now for the

:23:58. > :24:05.missing words round, which this week features as its guest

:24:05. > :24:10.pibcation Raisin Views, the voice of the raisin industry, I'm a

:24:10. > :24:20.regular subscriber, as are all of its subscribers.

:24:20. > :24:29.

:24:29. > :24:34.Tom Jones! A state of indecision? The answer is, woman trapped in

:24:34. > :24:37.flat-pack wardrobe for 90 minutes. This is one of the many unusual

:24:37. > :24:43.calls revealed by the Leicester fire brigade, including a man with

:24:43. > :24:48.his toe stuck in the bath tap, after his wife said don't stick the

:24:48. > :24:53.toe in the pwhat tap. Sadly, she was stuck in a wardrobe at the time

:24:53. > :24:58.so he didn't hear. Footballers are what according to a new study?

:24:58. > :25:00.are actually highly intelligent. That is correct, a Swedish study

:25:00. > :25:06.has found footballers are more intelligent than previously thought.

:25:06. > :25:10.As if to prove it, here is Burnley defender Clarke Carlyle appearing

:25:10. > :25:17.on countdown, some what less impressive when the word he game up

:25:17. > :25:25.with was "go". Cabbie nieces and what? And,

:25:25. > :25:32.immediately apologises. Cabbie sneezes and takes wrong turn

:25:32. > :25:36.into a canal? Cabbie sneezes and wrecks a monument. He drove and

:25:36. > :25:40.careered into a 15th century monument, the monument in cheddar

:25:40. > :25:46.is cordoned off, leaving heartbroken residents with nothing

:25:46. > :25:50.to piss against on their way home from the pub. Popular raisin

:25:50. > :25:55.seminars teach new recipes using what? There is to chance we will

:25:55. > :26:00.get this. Even showing it to us is an insult really. I think you will

:26:00. > :26:06.kick yourself when you find out what it is? Raisins, raisins and

:26:06. > :26:16.more raisins. That is the right answer! Pret much.

:26:16. > :26:18.

:26:18. > :26:22.One speaker at the seminar was a member of the National Dried Fruit

:26:22. > :26:29.Association, Christopher Longbottom, that is dried fruit for you.

:26:29. > :26:35.Finally, you want babies, my girl? Then don't take...Your Tights off,

:26:35. > :26:42.do take your tights off! Don't keep your tights on. Don't use raisins

:26:42. > :26:48.as a contraceptive, they fall out. The answer is you want babies my

:26:48. > :26:55.girl, then don't hit your lover in the face. This is the news that the

:26:55. > :27:02.Edinburgh Zoo pandas are more prone to slap anticle. This is another

:27:02. > :27:12.panda in the USA behaving in a more disturbing manner. There he is,

:27:12. > :27:23.

:27:23. > :27:29.there's a panda. (children crying). Wait a second.

:27:29. > :27:32.Aren't children stupid. So the final scores are Paul and

:27:32. > :27:42.Miles with seven points, but the winners this week are Ian and Grace

:27:42. > :27:52.with eight. But before we go, there is just

:27:52. > :27:53.

:27:54. > :27:59.time for the caption competition. Would you live in the greater

:27:59. > :28:05.London area. And I will leave you with the news that with the race to

:28:05. > :28:10.the Mayor of London hots up, one of the candidates resorts to a Putin-

:28:10. > :28:17.style of campaigning. As Alan titch mash's latest novel is turned into