0:00:38 > 0:00:43APPLAUSE. Good evening and welcome to Have I Got News For You. I'm
0:00:43 > 0:00:45Damian Lewis. In the news this week: In a local branch of
0:00:45 > 0:00:55Waterstones, one customer was disappointed to discover they had
0:00:55 > 0:00:56
0:00:56 > 0:00:59no more copies of the latest Razzle In London, engineers working on the
0:00:59 > 0:01:08CrossRail tunnel fear they may have veered a bit too close to the
0:01:08 > 0:01:11surface. And after describing David Cameron
0:01:11 > 0:01:14and George Osborne as "arrogant posh boys who are out of touch",
0:01:14 > 0:01:24Nadine Dorries is invited to discuss the matter over a kitchen
0:01:24 > 0:01:49
0:01:49 > 0:01:52supper at Number Ten. It's still going!
0:01:52 > 0:01:54With Ian tonight is a naturalist and broadcaster who has been seen
0:01:54 > 0:01:58on Springwatch, Autumnwatch and if he lurks round in people's gardens
0:01:58 > 0:02:03much longer - Crimewatch! Please welcome, Chris Packham.
0:02:03 > 0:02:06APPLAUSE. And, with Paul tonight, a Scottish
0:02:06 > 0:02:09comedien who grew up in Glasgow then worked as a lawyer in America
0:02:09 > 0:02:16with convicts on death row. Though they still have a longer life
0:02:16 > 0:02:23expectancy than people in Glasgow. LAUGHTER.
0:02:23 > 0:02:27Please welcome, Susan Coleman. APPLAUSE.
0:02:27 > 0:02:32And, we start with the biggest stories of the week. Please take a
0:02:32 > 0:02:37look at this. Oh yes, this is our friend, Jeremy, Jeremy Hunt. He's
0:02:37 > 0:02:40got into a lot of bother there. This is the rather subtle illusions
0:02:40 > 0:02:44is that he regarded himself as a cheerleader for the Murdoch empire.
0:02:44 > 0:02:50Some puppet heads, James Murdoch, Rupert Murdoch. And a kiss from
0:02:50 > 0:02:53Judas! LAUGHTER.
0:02:53 > 0:02:57I am a bit embarrassed about this because Jeremy what's his name,
0:02:57 > 0:02:59came to see one of my shows in Edinburgh a couple of years ago. I
0:02:59 > 0:03:03wouldn't deliberately mislead anybody, so I'm quite willing to
0:03:03 > 0:03:08believe everything he says! LAUGHTER.
0:03:08 > 0:03:12About you and David Cameron? Yes. If the Prime Minister thinks
0:03:12 > 0:03:15he's OK, that's good enough for me. I'm quite naive about these things.
0:03:15 > 0:03:22The Prime Minister's had a very good track record. Andy Coulson was
0:03:22 > 0:03:25OK. He was OK wasn't he? Yes. he wasn't. Until he wasn't. What is
0:03:25 > 0:03:28your reading of the situation, Mr Hislop? I don't think the
0:03:28 > 0:03:32Government will come out very well from this. It does appear they were
0:03:32 > 0:03:35so far Mr Murdoch's bottom, you could not see any of their heads.
0:03:35 > 0:03:39This is the Leveson inquiry and it was a shocking day. Mr Hunt was the
0:03:39 > 0:03:45culture secretary, in charge of the bid for BSkyB. Yet, his office was
0:03:45 > 0:03:49giving information all the way through to the Murdochs. Why hasn't
0:03:50 > 0:03:52he gone? He is there as a firewall. If he goes, Mr Cameron is looking
0:03:53 > 0:03:56very shaky. It's like that thing of when everybody gets annoyed with
0:03:56 > 0:04:05each other and they end up kicking the dog. James Hunt has dismissed
0:04:05 > 0:04:09his private adviser. James Hunt?! LAUGHTER. Why am I asking this man?
0:04:09 > 0:04:12He has got no idea. He is confusing a former racing driver with the
0:04:12 > 0:04:17culture secretary. If you're going to get his name wrong, it's best to
0:04:17 > 0:04:21get his first name wrong rather than his second. I think I was
0:04:21 > 0:04:24trying hard not to get his second name wrong. You are all right in
0:04:24 > 0:04:28the zone. This is the news the Leveson Inquiry has finally perked
0:04:28 > 0:04:35up at long last. What do you mean, finally perked up? There have been
0:04:35 > 0:04:39some notably excellent... Witness statements. You were in the happy
0:04:39 > 0:04:42position of having nothing to hide? I had no idea it was going to get
0:04:42 > 0:04:46this good. Murdoch today, selective amnesia? Fabulous! The medics must
0:04:46 > 0:04:53be having a field day. Can you remember anything about phone
0:04:53 > 0:05:03hacking? No, no. Can you remember how badly all the politicians have
0:05:03 > 0:05:05behaved? Yeah, I bloody well can! It's a one-man show this.
0:05:05 > 0:05:12what's emerged about the culture secretary, Jeremy Hunt, and a SPAD
0:05:12 > 0:05:15called, Adam Smith. It is that thing that you sack the person
0:05:15 > 0:05:18below you. Jeremy Hunt sacked him, Cameron will sack Jeremy Hunt and
0:05:18 > 0:05:23then we will sack Cameron. And then everyone will be happy.
0:05:23 > 0:05:26LAUGHTER. A bit difficult to believe Jeremy
0:05:26 > 0:05:29Hunt doesn't know anything from his special adviser? The explanation is,
0:05:29 > 0:05:32it was just one rogue adviser. It is a Channel Five movie in the
0:05:32 > 0:05:37making isn't it? Rogue Special Adviser! You could take over the
0:05:37 > 0:05:43part of Adam Smith, I don't know if you would like it? There is less
0:05:43 > 0:05:46nudity, I don't know? I do like to be nude if I can be. I know, I have
0:05:46 > 0:05:53watched Homeland. I will never watch it again with my mother after
0:05:53 > 0:05:56the first episode. Why, was she in LAUGHTER.
0:05:56 > 0:06:00It was just a shock when I watched it. I have seen more of Damian's
0:06:00 > 0:06:01body than I have of any man in my life, to be honest. It is lovely.
0:06:01 > 0:06:11Well done. LAUGHTER.
0:06:11 > 0:06:12
0:06:13 > 0:06:16In the cachet of e-mails, what does Mr Hunt think? What does Mr Hunt
0:06:16 > 0:06:18think? There seems to be a tiny moment when it is not going
0:06:18 > 0:06:21Murdoch's way. So there is another e-mail saying, Rebecca Brooks has
0:06:21 > 0:06:24rang up the chancellor, George Osborne. So, essentially they've
0:06:24 > 0:06:27just gone over his head. It is quite shocking in its way. Aren't
0:06:27 > 0:06:30you shocked? I'm terribly shocked. You watch badgers most of the time.
0:06:30 > 0:06:32I've been watching too many badgers this week. I've clearly missed
0:06:32 > 0:06:36something absolutely intriguing on the television.
0:06:36 > 0:06:39LAUGHTER. I'm amazed how assiduously you
0:06:39 > 0:06:44obviously watched this. It's giving you a great deal of trouble isn't
0:06:44 > 0:06:47it? This is what interests me. Of course, you watch the foxes and say,
0:06:47 > 0:06:53"look, he is going in the hole". And then you sit there for three
0:06:53 > 0:06:57and a half months, then you say, "look, he's coming out again".
0:06:57 > 0:07:02the fox comes out it's not the same fox, and we just lie about it.
0:07:02 > 0:07:06LAUGHTER. What's French Fred? He is the PR
0:07:06 > 0:07:09man who is working for Murdoch. Who is writing half of these e-mails.
0:07:09 > 0:07:19That's right. And by way of illustration here is an e-mail from
0:07:19 > 0:07:37
0:07:37 > 0:07:41Frederic Michel to his boss, James One e-mail brought gasps from
0:07:41 > 0:07:48people at the Leveson Inquiry when it was read out by Robert Jay. I
0:07:49 > 0:07:55love Robert Jay, QC. I'm developing a bit of man love for him. It's the
0:07:55 > 0:08:03way he goes through the tabs isn't it? "I believe this is bundle 38.
0:08:03 > 0:08:13Tab seven". Brackets "you lying bastard". Yes, it brought gasps in
0:08:13 > 0:08:14
0:08:14 > 0:08:21Frederic Michel. He told James On the sort of thing Jeremy Hunt
0:08:21 > 0:08:25would be announcing to Parliament I think that's supposed to be a
0:08:26 > 0:08:30wink. I thought it was the smiley face to start with. It means more
0:08:30 > 0:08:33than in the field of science. they knew it was more than illegal.
0:08:33 > 0:08:37It could be a high-speed train knocking over a lamppost.
0:08:38 > 0:08:41LAUGHTER. That's modern life now isn't it, if
0:08:41 > 0:08:45you put in LOL at the end of something, it means it's funny. I'm
0:08:45 > 0:08:48going to come and kill you in your sleep - LOL. And if your name is
0:08:48 > 0:08:52Lol, it is even more worrying. did James Murdoch respond when this
0:08:52 > 0:08:55was read out to him at the Leveson Inquiry? He said it was a joke, but
0:08:55 > 0:08:57given he is a Dalek, I mean he talks purely in management speak.
0:08:57 > 0:09:02He pours bullshit on everything until there's nothing
0:09:02 > 0:09:06understandable left and everyone wants to die.
0:09:06 > 0:09:09LAUGHTER. Don't ever do his PR. He's great,
0:09:09 > 0:09:12he pours bullshit over everything and then everyone wants to die.
0:09:12 > 0:09:19Book him! Very hard to do the speech, you'll never get to the
0:09:19 > 0:09:24desert. Anyway, the idea he could spot a joke made me laugh. I don't
0:09:24 > 0:09:28know, I think he's got a very good sense of humour. There he is.
0:09:28 > 0:09:32LAUGHTER. How has culture secretary, Jeremy
0:09:32 > 0:09:37Hunt, answered calls for his inevitable resignation? He stuck
0:09:37 > 0:09:42his fingers in his ears and said "I can't hear you". He claims to have
0:09:42 > 0:09:45handled the matter with: And has warned against knee-jerk reactions.
0:09:45 > 0:09:50Talking of reactions and jerks, what has Ed Miliband been saying
0:09:50 > 0:09:54about the culture minister? Let's have a look. He was providing
0:09:54 > 0:10:02advice, guidance and privileged access to News Corporation. He was
0:10:02 > 0:10:06being a back channel for the Murdochs. LAUGHTER.
0:10:06 > 0:10:09Sounds unpleasant. According to a journalist who worked for Murdoch's
0:10:09 > 0:10:19Wall Street Journal, how did Jeremy Hunt avoid being seen arriving for
0:10:19 > 0:10:30
0:10:30 > 0:10:33a private dinner? He hid behind a So James Murdoch did tell the
0:10:33 > 0:10:35inquiry he definitely did discuss the proposed takeover of BSkyB with
0:10:35 > 0:10:42David Cameron at a Christmas party at Rebecca Brooks' house in
0:10:42 > 0:10:52December 2010. Something David Cameron has always denied. Although,
0:10:52 > 0:10:54
0:10:54 > 0:11:01Something like "will it go through, David? Yes, James. Mince pie?
0:11:01 > 0:11:07Lovely". Meanwhile, what did Rupert
0:11:07 > 0:11:12contributes to the Leveson Inquiry yesterday and today? He basically
0:11:12 > 0:11:15shafted all the prime ministers of this country for the last 40 years.
0:11:15 > 0:11:19He said they were all pathetic, they all sucked up to him.
0:11:19 > 0:11:23insinuated Gordon Brown was slightly mad. That he declared war
0:11:23 > 0:11:27on the Murdochs. No one else has suggested that!
0:11:27 > 0:11:30LAUGHTER. If you want a Fife man declaring
0:11:30 > 0:11:33war on you, it would sound quite aggressive. Scottish people can
0:11:33 > 0:11:40sound aggressive without meaning it. For example, if I said "THAT'S a
0:11:40 > 0:11:44pretty baby". That just sounds aggressive. Finally, at long last,
0:11:44 > 0:11:46who wants to see lingering shots of former News of the World Chief
0:11:46 > 0:11:52Reporter, Neville Thurlbeck, he of the infamous four-Neville e-mails
0:11:52 > 0:11:54on Newsnight. You should have a look at this. Joining us now,
0:11:54 > 0:12:04Neville Thurlbeck, the former News Editor and Chief Reporter at the
0:12:04 > 0:12:08
0:12:08 > 0:12:11News of the World. He is now the PR for Talking To Minds, a PTSD
0:12:11 > 0:12:13charity. Neville Thurlbeck was arrested over allegations of his
0:12:13 > 0:12:22involvement in phone hacking and is bailed until next month.
0:12:22 > 0:12:27LAUGHTER. Mr sinister is in the building.
0:12:27 > 0:12:31There was more pressure on Jeremy Hunt. If you are watching a repeat,
0:12:32 > 0:12:40the former secretary. If you are watching on Dave in a year's time,
0:12:40 > 0:12:45the chief executor of BSkyB. Thorpe the story dominated the
0:12:45 > 0:12:54front pages on Wednesday. The Mirror went with: The Telegraph
0:12:54 > 0:12:58went with: The Guardian went with: And the Sun newspaper went width:
0:12:58 > 0:13:08In his evidence, Rupert Murdoch recalled a conversation with Gordon
0:13:08 > 0:13:14
0:13:14 > 0:13:20Tony Blair perked up and said "did someone mention war"? Take a look
0:13:20 > 0:13:26at this one will stop Nadine Dorries.
0:13:26 > 0:13:34Don't remember who that is, or him. Those are the posh boys who don't
0:13:34 > 0:13:41know the price of milk. This is embarrassing for the Chancellor
0:13:41 > 0:13:45because his father is buying an elaborate desk. The Bay City
0:13:45 > 0:13:51Rollers four-star be it is bad for them because some of them are no
0:13:51 > 0:13:56longer with us. It is a double dip, so let's move on. Lots of right-
0:13:56 > 0:14:03wing activity in the French elections. The price of the euro
0:14:03 > 0:14:11has gone down, is not good far our economy. I can see a wasteland with
0:14:11 > 0:14:16only foxes. Left to roam, eating at the remains... The last of the Bay
0:14:16 > 0:14:20City Rollers. It has been a shambolic week for David Cameron
0:14:20 > 0:14:25and the coalition Government. The BBC were not trying to influence
0:14:25 > 0:14:32our feelings either way when the interviews and Irish businessman
0:14:32 > 0:14:38who said: That it was a man calls. The Tories are doing so badly, they
0:14:38 > 0:14:42are under fire from their own side. Nadine Dorries describes herself as
0:14:42 > 0:14:48a council estate Scouser, but how did she described David Cameron and
0:14:48 > 0:14:57George Osborne? Two posh boys who do not know the price of milk.
0:14:57 > 0:15:07is pathetic to bring class into it. Take any two posh boys, Damien,
0:15:07 > 0:15:11
0:15:11 > 0:15:14pretty much the price of milk we You are an old Etonian.
0:15:14 > 0:15:16Correctomundo. I can't discuss the back channel. Funnily enough, I
0:15:16 > 0:15:20wasn't going there. You're filthy. David Cameron recently described
0:15:20 > 0:15:25Eton as a fabulous school. What is so fantastic about it? You get to
0:15:25 > 0:15:29wear really snazzy clothes. So did the Ku Klux Klan, but... Can I ask
0:15:29 > 0:15:39you something? You had dinner in the White House with David Cameron
0:15:39 > 0:15:40
0:15:40 > 0:15:43and Barack Obama, yet you are a member of Al-Qaeda. I found myself
0:15:43 > 0:15:48in a three-way conversation with Warren Buffet on my left and the
0:15:48 > 0:15:52President of the United States about the economy. We talked about
0:15:52 > 0:15:56it for a bit. You can all sleep easy in your beds tonight. Fixed a
0:15:56 > 0:16:05few things. David Cameron sat down and just went, "Yeah, Barack, golf,
0:16:05 > 0:16:09I think you'd take me. But tennis, Barack, think I'd take you". Obama
0:16:09 > 0:16:13had been looking at his food and he looked up and said, "Really, David,
0:16:13 > 0:16:17well we have a few hours tomorrow morning if you want to put it to
0:16:17 > 0:16:21the test. Really steely". I was getting on a plane the next morning
0:16:21 > 0:16:29at 7:30am, sharing this with George Osborne. The things you see when
0:16:29 > 0:16:33you haven't got your gun! He looked at me and went, guess where they
0:16:33 > 0:16:37are now? Thrashing it out on the tennis court at 7.30am. History
0:16:37 > 0:16:39does not relate who won. So at an official dinner when he could have
0:16:39 > 0:16:43had opportunities to talk about important things he talked about
0:16:43 > 0:16:46tennis, and at a Christmas party when they weren't meant to talk
0:16:46 > 0:16:51about things they talked about the potential takeover of BSkyB. Thank
0:16:51 > 0:16:54God he's got things the right way round. The thing is, if I was
0:16:54 > 0:16:59sitting next to Warren Buffet, I'd have to keep making jokes about his
0:16:59 > 0:17:04name without him realising. Is that your finger buffet? Are you feeling
0:17:04 > 0:17:11a bit hot buffet? Have you done much travelling buffet? That would
0:17:11 > 0:17:15be me well happy. Cameron says he does know the price of a pint of
0:17:15 > 0:17:23milk. What did he price it at? What do you think? Three and
0:17:23 > 0:17:27sixpence. Milk does not come in pints any more, it comes in litres.
0:17:27 > 0:17:32I don't be the one to break it to you but there are still pints of
0:17:32 > 0:17:42milk out there. I don't know how much they cost. I could sell you
0:17:42 > 0:17:49
0:17:49 > 0:17:58one for �5. Cameron says he pays Yes, lovely family! What has Ed
0:17:58 > 0:18:05Miliband been doing recently? Trying. He tries his best. God
0:18:05 > 0:18:09loves a trier. This is just going to break your heart. He has been
0:18:09 > 0:18:12watching his poll ratings soar. Labour have a 13% lead over the
0:18:12 > 0:18:19Tories, which must be a confidence booster for the Labour leader, but
0:18:19 > 0:18:27watch this. Could we get a photo with David? This man right here.
0:18:27 > 0:18:30Hello, Ed Miliband, nice to meet you. This is another bad week for
0:18:30 > 0:18:34the Tories. Nadine Dorries accused David Cameron of not even knowing
0:18:34 > 0:18:39the price of milk, to which he retorted, just under 50p. That
0:18:39 > 0:18:44price will no doubt double once Francis Maude starts a milk panic.
0:18:44 > 0:18:50Put the milk back into cows, demands Francis Maude. It's the
0:18:50 > 0:18:56safest place for it, says twit. Jerry cans full of milk in your
0:18:56 > 0:19:02garage. Mix it with petrol and make it go further. And so to round two,
0:19:02 > 0:19:08the news of the swirld. That's brilliant. Here is a cleverly
0:19:08 > 0:19:12distorted picture of news. Buzz when you know what it is. I don't
0:19:12 > 0:19:15know who he is, but there has recently been a suggestion that we
0:19:15 > 0:19:19could mine gold from meteorites from outer space. Things flying
0:19:19 > 0:19:23around with loads of gold in them and that we can capture them we
0:19:23 > 0:19:28would get free gold. It's not very practical. His head is too big for
0:19:28 > 0:19:31his body, for a start, and he is in outer space and can't breathe. And
0:19:31 > 0:19:35the axe doesn't look like it is doing anything. It is asteroids.
0:19:35 > 0:19:39They think they can build a craft to mine the asteroids and all sorts
0:19:39 > 0:19:43of people have bought into it, people with lots of money. Who is
0:19:43 > 0:19:47this? It is James Cameron behind this scheme. I would be a bit
0:19:47 > 0:19:51concerned about James Cameron's plans because he directed Aliens. I
0:19:51 > 0:19:55am not saying it is real. I now Homeland is not real. Nice body.
0:19:55 > 0:20:01What I am saying is that this could be the start of something pretty
0:20:01 > 0:20:05bad, right. So my vote is, let's not go and mine anywhere where we
0:20:05 > 0:20:08don't know what's going on. People from England very rarely come to
0:20:08 > 0:20:14Scotland, never mind go to outer space, so let's not go there.
0:20:14 > 0:20:18That's a conspiracy. They're a company called Planetary Resources
0:20:18 > 0:20:22Inc, which in addition to James Cameron has the support of the
0:20:22 > 0:20:26Google billionaires. Are they going to set up a haven there on an
0:20:26 > 0:20:30asteroid and claim it's offshore, off earth, so they have to pay no
0:20:30 > 0:20:34tax at all ever again. Peter Diamandis involved, he told Forbes
0:20:34 > 0:20:40magazine, since childhood I wanted to do one thing, to be an asteroid
0:20:40 > 0:20:46miner. It's a grand life, to be sure, Pete, working down't space
0:20:46 > 0:20:53pits. Apologies to anyone from Yorkshire in the audience.
0:20:53 > 0:20:57thought it was Zimbabwe. Yorkshire! What is stopping us mining it right
0:20:57 > 0:21:02now? It is not practical. There is one major drawback, yes. Asteroids
0:21:02 > 0:21:05are in space. The drawback is that the mining equipment that would
0:21:05 > 0:21:08have to be bolted to future generations of craft has not been
0:21:08 > 0:21:14invented yet, let alone the mechanism for getting minerals back
0:21:14 > 0:21:17to earth. It is meant to cheer us up, the idea that the national debt
0:21:17 > 0:21:24is �1 trillion but there is trillions and trillions just up
0:21:24 > 0:21:27there, so cheer up. We could watch it whizzing past us. Finally, does
0:21:27 > 0:21:34anyone know which asteroid scientists have labelled as their
0:21:34 > 0:21:38first contender for pouncing upon? I have no idea. It will fly within
0:21:38 > 0:21:432.4 million miles of Earth in 2021. Have your wallets open at the top
0:21:44 > 0:21:53of a high stepladder. This is the plan to extract minerals from
0:21:54 > 0:22:01
0:22:01 > 0:22:11asteroids, according to the Nice thought, but Superdrug are
0:22:11 > 0:22:13
0:22:13 > 0:22:22doing three for two. According to Yes, ever since cannabis was first
0:22:22 > 0:22:27smoked! Fingers on buzzers. This is a very serious story and should be
0:22:27 > 0:22:32treated with a great amount of seriousness. The boy band, One
0:22:32 > 0:22:42Direction, on a visit to Australia, held a koala. That is not the
0:22:42 > 0:22:44
0:22:44 > 0:22:50serious part of it. The koala urinated on One Direction. In one
0:22:50 > 0:22:59direction, or on One Direction? In all directions, or one direction?
0:22:59 > 0:23:02The shocking statistic is that 80% of koalas have chlamydia. There is
0:23:02 > 0:23:12therefore a real and present danger that One Direction, top boy band,
0:23:12 > 0:23:20
0:23:20 > 0:23:24will have contracted chlamydia from a koala. That is the correct answer.
0:23:24 > 0:23:30Any idea, how does a koala get chlamydia? For the very first time?
0:23:30 > 0:23:34Well, you have to look to human interference, really. It is
0:23:34 > 0:23:36Australia we are talking about, after all. I guess some of those
0:23:36 > 0:23:40bacteriological and viral infections will cross from species
0:23:40 > 0:23:46to species, but I can't think of finer people to get a sexually
0:23:46 > 0:23:50transmitted disease than those three brilliant musicians. Like how
0:23:50 > 0:23:55Cortez eliminated an entire generation of the new Americas.
0:23:55 > 0:24:02live in hope, don't we? I'm not sure, but I think that's advocating
0:24:02 > 0:24:06genocide, isn't it? Simon Cowell, the man behind One Direction has
0:24:06 > 0:24:10been in the news. Why? A biography has been produced. Sweet Revenge,
0:24:10 > 0:24:16The Intimate Life of Simon Cowell, has been released. What do we learn
0:24:16 > 0:24:21from the book? Shall I give you a clue? Cling film. I thought of
0:24:21 > 0:24:24something but I don't think it's right to say it. According to the
0:24:24 > 0:24:28Sun, he hired a female therapist to visit him weekly, cover him with
0:24:28 > 0:24:36oil, wrap him in cling film and squeeze him into a tube. Squeeze
0:24:36 > 0:24:38him into a tube. He's turned into toothpaste. He went to a doctor
0:24:38 > 0:24:46afterwards wearing nothing but cling film wrapped around his body.
0:24:46 > 0:24:49The doctor looked at him and said, I can clearly see your nuts. This
0:24:49 > 0:24:53is the story from Australia that members of the boy band One
0:24:53 > 0:24:56Direction may have caught a disease from a koala. There was a moment of
0:24:56 > 0:25:00confusion when singer Harry Styles announced, "Guys, I've picked up
0:25:00 > 0:25:04chlamydia, the lesser known sister of Kylie and Danii". The incident
0:25:04 > 0:25:06took place during a photo session. Asked if they'd be happy to cuddle
0:25:06 > 0:25:14the dopey but cute looking creatures, the koalas said, "Yeah,
0:25:14 > 0:25:20why not"? Time for the missing words round, which features as its
0:25:20 > 0:25:26guest publication, Absolute Horse. There's another one called Relative
0:25:26 > 0:25:32Horse. Is the one for the cattle industry called Absolute Bull?
0:25:32 > 0:25:37start with, Camilla sent into space to what? Something to do with solar
0:25:37 > 0:25:42storms. Camilla is the name of a dodgy looking probe. I think you
0:25:42 > 0:25:46will find she is married to the heir to the throne. I thought it
0:25:46 > 0:25:53was sent into space to amuse Her Majesty the Queen. I thought it was
0:25:53 > 0:25:56part of the celebration. We should all be able to look at the sky and
0:25:56 > 0:25:59see her orbiting the Earth with her arse on fire as she goes through
0:26:00 > 0:26:03the atmosphere. Maybe that's the climax of the Olympic opening
0:26:03 > 0:26:09ceremony, Camilla being fired out of a rocket. The Olympic flame
0:26:09 > 0:26:12lights this enormous rocket. "Finds solar storm", something like that.
0:26:12 > 0:26:21American students sent a rubber chicken on a giant helium balloon
0:26:21 > 0:26:25into space to photograph a solar radiation storm. According to the
0:26:25 > 0:26:29Guardian, carried aboard were seven insects. None of the insects
0:26:30 > 0:26:39survived. It means nothing to us, but to the insect world, it was
0:26:40 > 0:26:43
0:26:43 > 0:26:52For as long as no-one is looking, says Murdoch. This is from Absolute
0:26:52 > 0:27:01This edition features horse makeovers, how to look good neigh-
0:27:01 > 0:27:06ked. And finally, Donald Trump's hair what? Declared a World
0:27:06 > 0:27:12Heritage Site. Is attacked by a prankster with a balloon. That is
0:27:12 > 0:27:17right. Targeted by pro-turbine protesters. Somebody rubbed a
0:27:17 > 0:27:22balloon and static electricity. That is fantastic. Apparently he
0:27:22 > 0:27:26was furious. If there's one thing he hates, it is his hair being made
0:27:26 > 0:27:36to look stupid. So, the final scores, Ian and Chris have seven,
0:27:36 > 0:27:38
0:27:38 > 0:27:40Paul and Susan squeaking by with On which note we say thank you to
0:27:40 > 0:27:45our panellists, Ian Hislop and Chris Packham, Paul Merton and
0:27:45 > 0:27:49Susan Coleman. And I leave you with news that Olympic organisers admit
0:27:49 > 0:27:59it was a mistake to allow Olympic sponsors John West to design the
0:27:59 > 0:27:59