:00:00. > :00:14.This programme contains some strong language.
:00:15. > :00:38.This programme contains some strong language.
:00:39. > :00:44.Good evening, welcome to Have I Got News For You. I'm Alexander
:00:45. > :00:48.Armstrong. In the news this week, at a party in Berlin there are joyous
:00:49. > :00:50.scenes as both sides celebrate the anniversary of the end of the Cold
:00:51. > :01:03.War. In the kitchen of a Beijing
:01:04. > :01:05.restaurant, there's evidence the temperature of the new deep fat
:01:06. > :01:19.fryer may have been a little low. And at his family bonfire party in
:01:20. > :01:20.the Cotswolds, Richard Hammond regrets putting Jeremy Clarkson in
:01:21. > :01:35.charge of the fireworks. On Paul's team is an MEP whose
:01:36. > :01:38.controversial remarks about women to the media took attention away from
:01:39. > :01:40.the UKIP conference. So this is our chance to thank him in person.
:01:41. > :01:51.Please welcome Godfrey Bloom. And with Ian tonight is a journalist
:01:52. > :01:53.and broadcaster who once said about sexism, "You still get some
:01:54. > :01:56.perfectly harmless old man looking down your top and saying you're a
:01:57. > :01:58.healthy young lady." Presumably she'd already met Godfrey. Please
:01:59. > :02:08.welcome Victoria Coren Mitchell. And we start with the big stories of
:02:09. > :02:11.the week. Paul and Godfrey, here's your question. A big news story but
:02:12. > :02:13.legally we are not allowed to comment on it, so off you go, good
:02:14. > :02:21.luck. I don't know who these people are! I
:02:22. > :02:26.have no idea what the building is. That's the Prime Minister. I have no
:02:27. > :02:32.idea... I don't know. How dare you associate the Prime Minister with
:02:33. > :02:37.this trial. I didn't think I had. It's a fair cop, guv. I can't say
:02:38. > :02:45.who these people are? You're right first time, you can't. We're allowed
:02:46. > :02:51.to report the facts. Oh, right. 1066 was the Battle of Hastings. I know
:02:52. > :02:55.the BBC are very jumpy about saying anything at all about that. As one
:02:56. > :02:58.of the few people who the Attorney General has said has not committed
:02:59. > :03:02.any contempt, I would say my judgement on what you can say is
:03:03. > :03:07.better than theirs. That's right. Wandsworth Prison is very easy to
:03:08. > :03:14.get to for me. I can visit two or three times a week. You should make
:03:15. > :03:18.all your comments in code. Yes, I could say, Fraulein, I thought ze
:03:19. > :03:27.cathedral was on ze other side of ze square. How dare you! Ze pigeons fly
:03:28. > :03:33.high above zat house tonight. The fat lady has brought a dinner but
:03:34. > :03:36.she does not want dessert. There you are. You can't go to prison for
:03:37. > :03:41.saying that. You can get switched off but not sent to prison. There is
:03:42. > :03:45.one High Court case we can talk about. Do you want to see Bernie
:03:46. > :03:52.Ecclestone turning up? He was baffled by the concept of revolving
:03:53. > :04:04.doors. So far, so good. Now, just walk out. LAUGHTER.
:04:05. > :04:12.That door is locked. He has got to wait for somebody to go and get him.
:04:13. > :04:15.This is the trial of Rebekah Brooks and Andy Coulson. Since we can't
:04:16. > :04:21.make jokes about the defendants, let's make jokes about you, Godfrey.
:04:22. > :04:29.Here's what you got up to 30 years ago on your stag night.
:04:30. > :04:36.You can't see it but she has just withdrawn the whip. Oh, happy days.
:04:37. > :04:40.Did the woman just come along to do that or what she one of your
:04:41. > :04:45.friends? She came along to do that. I think
:04:46. > :04:49.my brother-in-law had a go as well. Fortunately, somebody stumped up for
:04:50. > :04:56.it. It wasn't me. It was a chum of mine paid. I thought she was very
:04:57. > :05:01.entrepreneurial, really. So... LAUGHTER. This week it was reported
:05:02. > :05:06.that the Mirror Group is facing 55 claims of phone hacking. Before we
:05:07. > :05:12.are not allowed to talk about that case, can I just say peers Morgan is
:05:13. > :05:16.a total arse. He tweeted that I should be put in jail for two years
:05:17. > :05:19.at the beginning of last week, saying I committed contempt of
:05:20. > :05:23.court. He said that in the morning before the Attorney General ruled
:05:24. > :05:29.that I hadn't. In fact, he was in contempt and should go to jail for
:05:30. > :05:38.two years. Ian and Victoria, here is your new story. That is Rebekah
:05:39. > :05:43.Brooks. Who is that? Oh, Lord. It's Theresa May, but it's like looking
:05:44. > :05:47.in a mirror. I'm always doing that. She's has just fallen off the shoe.
:05:48. > :05:53.After the photograph of Mr Bloom, I was so relieved to see a burka. You
:05:54. > :05:57.know the world is still run by men when any women are wearing either a
:05:58. > :06:01.burka or hot pants. Feminism will have won when everybody is just in a
:06:02. > :06:05.nice comfy knee-length stress with a cardigan.
:06:06. > :06:19.I couldn't agree more. So, I think the story was about a man dressed in
:06:20. > :06:23.a burka. ?YELLOW Ironically. The first woman ever to be liberated by
:06:24. > :06:26.wearing a burka. He was tagged, wasn't he? He was under close
:06:27. > :06:30.surveillance and he managed to nip into a mosque in Acton, change into
:06:31. > :06:34.a burka and run for it. I was interested about these curfews.
:06:35. > :06:37.There are eight of them. It's called the T-Pimms. It's T-Pimms o'clock,
:06:38. > :06:44.isn't it, Alexander? Just about. Oh, somebody has absconded. Is G4S in
:06:45. > :06:50.charge? It is. I didn't want to create any more legal problems. This
:06:51. > :06:54.is him before and after. That's him leaving the mosque on the right.
:06:55. > :06:57.There was something ironic about the timing of this incident. Earlier
:06:58. > :07:01.that day, he absconded. The case against him for tampering with his
:07:02. > :07:07.tag had been dropped. They said he wasn't guilty of tampering with it.
:07:08. > :07:10.Got a bit more now, though, haven't they? According to the Times, the
:07:11. > :07:30.tags had been... Five times a day? That's going to
:07:31. > :07:34.work any tag loose. You can't tell. The tag might still be on. He might
:07:35. > :07:40.be limping. You've got to assume it's not. Otherwise they would've
:07:41. > :07:43.brought him in. Oh, it's G4S. I like the idea of being addicted to
:07:44. > :07:48.wiggling, like your stag night, Mr Bloom. There was a lot of wiggling
:07:49. > :07:54.that night, I can tell you. Can we see the picture again? Bless her,
:07:55. > :08:00.she's doing such a good job of smiling. Amazing.
:08:01. > :08:02.I was a good-looking dude in those days, Victoria.
:08:03. > :08:06.You're good-looking now but it is possible that standing there in just
:08:07. > :08:09.her pants while a man in a suit rubs his face in her tits wasn't the
:08:10. > :08:16.greatest night of her life. APPLAUSE.
:08:17. > :08:25.She got 100 quid for it so she must have thought it was reasonably OK.
:08:26. > :08:30.That's the UKIP policy. If you charge 100 quid for it, it's fine.
:08:31. > :08:35.Back to Mohammed for a second... There's a gear change! As you said,
:08:36. > :08:39.G4S were the people who provided the tags. They are in charge of the
:08:40. > :08:41.monitoring. The Serious Fraud Office has launched a criminal
:08:42. > :08:43.investigation into G4S, along with another company, Serco, in relation
:08:44. > :08:59.to tagging. The Guardian explains... As I say, G4S deny any wrongdoing at
:09:00. > :09:08.all. And those 3,000 nonexistent people voted Labour in Falkirk.
:09:09. > :09:17.This is the male terrorist... He worked for The Mail?! That is a
:09:18. > :09:20.story. The male terror suspect who escaped by putting on a burka and
:09:21. > :09:25.sneaking out of a mosque disguised as a woman. You would think he would
:09:26. > :09:28.be easy to spot, but to be fair to the security services they were too
:09:29. > :09:32.busy reading our e-mails. Boris Johnson has branded the
:09:33. > :09:35.terrorist's escape as absurd... And also highly embarrassing, as he'd
:09:36. > :09:40.just tried to chat him up at a bus stop.
:09:41. > :09:48.Paul and Godfrey, here's another one for you. Yes, this is payday loans.
:09:49. > :09:52.She's very happy, look. It's raining fake money where she is. It's
:09:53. > :09:55.something to do with payday loans. Do know what's happened to them this
:09:56. > :09:58.week? Some of them have been called before Parliament committees to
:09:59. > :10:01.defend their business. That is exactly right. They were accused of
:10:02. > :10:09.something terrible by money expert Martin Lewis at the hearing. People
:10:10. > :10:15.are complaining that they were advertising on children's
:10:16. > :10:19.programmes. Exactly, he said they were grooming children. That's a bit
:10:20. > :10:22.much, isn't it? I know they are full, but... Why did he say that?
:10:23. > :10:26.Children see the adverts, they say to their parents, why don't you
:10:27. > :10:30.borrow money? Exactly. Then I can have some of it. This happened to my
:10:31. > :10:34.friend, who is a poker player. He has a little gold camel for luck
:10:35. > :10:37.which he puts on his cards, and one time he was getting his stuff
:10:38. > :10:41.together for a poker tournament and he said, "where is my camel?", and
:10:42. > :10:44.his son, who is three, said, "you can convert that old gold into
:10:45. > :10:47.cash." Apparently they are grooming the next generation of borrowers.
:10:48. > :10:52.Martin Lewis said: isn't one of them Earl Wonga?
:10:53. > :10:55.I don't know if he is an earl. I may have just given him a title. I
:10:56. > :10:59.thought that was his Christian name, I didn't realise he was a belted
:11:00. > :11:03.earl. Oh, no, I think he donated a large sum to the Conservative Party!
:11:04. > :11:10.Do you want to see the cute Wonga puppets? Yes. Here they are. It's
:11:11. > :11:14.you, Godfrey! With a couple of what you would call absolute corkers. You
:11:15. > :11:23.know how much it costs to borrow ?1 for one day from Wonga? ?1000. It is
:11:24. > :11:27.going to sound pathetic but ?6.57 to borrow a pound for a day. Do you
:11:28. > :11:30.know what the current interest rate is with Wonga? It's in its
:11:31. > :11:35.thousands. That's more than the power companies!
:11:36. > :11:45.What is the big glitzy film premiere in London? Wonga have made a film.
:11:46. > :11:48.Absolutely right, Wonga the movie. They've released a film featuring
:11:49. > :11:50.people who have borrowed from the firm. Unusually, for Wonga, there is
:11:51. > :11:55.zero percent interest. LAUGHTER. What do you mean it is a film? You
:11:56. > :11:59.can go and see it at the cinema? No, you can't go and see Wonga the
:12:00. > :12:04.movie. You buy your ticket but you have to pay it back by the end. Who
:12:05. > :12:09.else was grilled by MPs? Spies. Spies, the three Secret Service
:12:10. > :12:15.agencies, which are? MI5. MI6. Google. Talking of unpopular
:12:16. > :12:20.organisations, what have Ryanair been up to this week? They are
:12:21. > :12:23.upgrading, aren't they? Are they? I think they're getting better. I
:12:24. > :12:27.think they've put a lavatory in and all sorts of wonderful things.
:12:28. > :12:30.LAUGHTER. They're getting rid of the outdoor seats. Clutching to the
:12:31. > :12:36.wing. The head of Ryanair, Michael Leary, has promised to stop
:12:37. > :12:38.unnecessarily pissing people off. He promised to overhaul the website,
:12:39. > :12:50.saying... What will you soon be able to do if
:12:51. > :12:57.you pay an extra five pounds? You can have a number two? No, it's more
:12:58. > :13:01.basic than that. Number one? You can choose your own seat. On the subject
:13:02. > :13:04.of air travel, what did we learn this week about women pilots? Oh,
:13:05. > :13:09.God. I don't know, I'm just dreading where this is going. They are
:13:10. > :13:13.better. Survey found that 51% of passengers wouldn't trust a woman
:13:14. > :13:16.pilot. The survey was commissioned by a travel agent who surveyed 49
:13:17. > :13:23.normal people then repeatedly asked Godfrey. LAUGHTER.
:13:24. > :13:28.I am doing you a terrible disservice. I feel sure you are far
:13:29. > :13:31.more enlightened than that. I know you said that women are not very
:13:32. > :13:36.good drivers, but they are much better than men at finding the
:13:37. > :13:40.mustard in the pantry. And I wondered, was that a euphemism?
:13:41. > :13:43.LAUGHTER. Have you often found yourself with
:13:44. > :13:47.women, and you feel like you have been rummaging for ages in the
:13:48. > :13:55.pantry...? She is screaming, you just cannot find the mustard. Just
:13:56. > :14:00.wondered where that came from? Are we talking French or English? This
:14:01. > :14:06.is the Parliamentary enquiry which saw a bunch of greedy money-grabbing
:14:07. > :14:10.bastards interviewing Wonga. There is some dispute as to where the name
:14:11. > :14:14.Wonga comes from, for most people it is a slang term for money, although
:14:15. > :14:19.for one man, it is the capital of Bongo Bongo Land. What did you mean?
:14:20. > :14:23.Do you remember? The point that I was making is that it is a rather
:14:24. > :14:26.ridiculous thing to send ?1 billion away when we are closing our
:14:27. > :14:29.hospitals and schools to Bongo Bongo Land. It is specifically Africa you
:14:30. > :14:34.meant, isn't it? Broadly speaking, yes. One thing I have been proud of
:14:35. > :14:38.is opening that national debate, Bongo or not Bongo. So you have
:14:39. > :14:41.influenced, by making a mildly racist remark, you have influenced
:14:42. > :14:46.the government into changing its aid policy? So it would appear, Ian.
:14:47. > :14:55.Well then, that proves you are mad. LAUGHTER. Ian and Victoria, here is
:14:56. > :15:00.another one for you. That is a Tory MP. That is another one. That's
:15:01. > :15:07.Shapps. And that is Ed Miliband, who is clapping his speech. Nobody else
:15:08. > :15:11.will. He might as well. MPs in trouble, isn't it?
:15:12. > :15:17.MPs in trouble, yes. The top man is Mr Pritchard. He made some
:15:18. > :15:20.unfortunate remarks to an undercover Daily Telegraph reporter about
:15:21. > :15:23.whether he could help setting up a company in Albania, and he said, he
:15:24. > :15:29.knew everyone, he was very influential, could he have three
:15:30. > :15:33.grand? He says that has been wildly misinterpreted as suggesting in some
:15:34. > :15:37.way he would take money, but he has referred himself to the
:15:38. > :15:40.Parliamentary standards committee. He says he wants to prove his
:15:41. > :15:45.innocence. It is self referral. Yes. Somebody must look into this
:15:46. > :15:50.man. I don't know what he has done, but someone should get to the bottom
:15:51. > :15:53.of it. Who did he claim was his best friend? He said, I like this one, he
:15:54. > :15:56.said he knew the mayor. And this minister in Albania. The
:15:57. > :16:00.Prime Minister. The Prime Minister. He said we could meet the great and
:16:01. > :16:04.the good, we will meet the Prime Minister, blah blah. Impressive, he
:16:05. > :16:10.even knows his name. What do we know about Mr Pritchard? Is he the one
:16:11. > :16:13.that was rude to the speaker in a corridor? John Bercow told him to
:16:14. > :16:17.stand aside as he walked down the corridor. Mr Pritchard said you are
:16:18. > :16:22.not BLEEP royalty, Mr Speaker. Bercow had no alternative but to
:16:23. > :16:26.walk straight between his legs. In other denial news, what denial was
:16:27. > :16:32.made on David Cameron's behalf? Somebody said he was not at a party.
:16:33. > :16:35.He wasn't at a party and then he was. Downing Street did not reply to
:16:36. > :16:39.the question. Matthew Freud, whose party it was, were you there?
:16:40. > :16:42.I was there. It was lovely. Tell us all about it. If you remember one of
:16:43. > :16:45.those parties, you weren't really there.
:16:46. > :16:48.So the Prime Minister was there. He was there. I don't think he ever
:16:49. > :16:51.said he wasn't, I think Downing Street didn't reply. Matthew Freud
:16:52. > :16:54.said he wasn't. Matthew Freud initially said that, I suspect, he
:16:55. > :16:59.thought, it is my party, my business. I will lie about it if I
:17:00. > :17:03.want to. It is only the Prime Minister and a PR man. Why should we
:17:04. > :17:08.be interested in their relationship? I mean, this party, Tony Blair was
:17:09. > :17:15.there. Well, that makes it clean. What other guests were there?
:17:16. > :17:20.Genghis Khan? Dr Shipman popped in? A lovely party. It was a lovely
:17:21. > :17:27.party. I'm sure it was. Did Jimmy Savile do karaoke?
:17:28. > :17:32.Anyway, what about Ed Miliband, what has he denied doing? Is that about
:17:33. > :17:37.the Falkirk thing? It was about Falkirk. It's like the Wire. I feel
:17:38. > :17:40.like I missed an episode and now I'm absolutely lost. The thing that has
:17:41. > :17:44.changed this week is they said there was vote rigging, and there was a
:17:45. > :17:47.witness, and then the union said, no, she's withdrawn her testimony,
:17:48. > :17:50.she said there wasn't any vote rigging. So Ed Miliband said, she
:17:51. > :17:54.has withdrawn her testimony, no need, I would look into it. Now the
:17:55. > :17:57.woman has said, I didn't withdraw my testimony, there was vote rigging
:17:58. > :18:01.and I'm sticking to what I said. So people said, Ed, are you going to
:18:02. > :18:05.reopen your enquiry because this woman says she was leaned on by the
:18:06. > :18:07.unions to change her testimony? And he said, absolutely not, I'm just
:18:08. > :18:12.monitoring events. I'm just seeing what is happening. Leave me alone!
:18:13. > :18:19.I'm trying to do my job. Which is lose.
:18:20. > :18:23.What does Grant Shapps deny doing? He used to run a company under
:18:24. > :18:28.another name. He was Michael Green. Yes. Nothing dodgy about that at
:18:29. > :18:33.all. The company was investigated, wasn't it? The police said there may
:18:34. > :18:37.have been fraud but we are drawing a line under it, it is all over. Do
:18:38. > :18:42.you want to see Grant Shapps being pursued by Michael Crick? Is it
:18:43. > :18:45.across open countryside? There doesn't appear to be a
:18:46. > :18:48.Stockheath anywhere in the world. There doesn't appear to be a
:18:49. > :18:53.Stockheath anywhere in the world. Is she genuine? Is Richard Wharton of
:18:54. > :18:59.Tektriox New York genuine? Is JLM Richards? Where is Bernie Ecclestone
:19:00. > :19:03.when you need him? Godfrey, you had your time with
:19:04. > :19:07.Crick, haven't you? Yes, handle him with a rolled up magazine is my way
:19:08. > :19:11.of dealing with Crick. Shall we watch that? That is quite fun. That
:19:12. > :19:15.is all a bit of fun. What do you make of the front cover of your
:19:16. > :19:18.conference brochure with no black faces on it? What a racist comment
:19:19. > :19:22.is that? How dare you? That's an appalling thing to say. You are
:19:23. > :19:27.picking people out for the colour of their skin. You disgust me. Get out
:19:28. > :19:31.of my way. I mean, I'm making the point that you haven't got... What
:19:32. > :19:38.is appalling about making that point? You, sir, are a racist. Why
:19:39. > :19:41.am I a racist? You take this and you've checked out the colour of
:19:42. > :19:48.peoples' faces? You disgrace. Disgraceful. LAUGHTER.
:19:49. > :19:51.There is a moment there when you come over all Gyles Brandredth. Can
:19:52. > :20:09.you rephrase that? LAUGHTER. I've got it in my head now. And on
:20:10. > :20:12.to round two and in honour of one of our guest's controversial comments
:20:13. > :20:16.about women who don't clean behind the fridge we'll take a look and see
:20:17. > :20:21.which stories are lurking behind Godfrey Bloom's Fridge Of News. Buzz
:20:22. > :20:26.in when you know what the story is. Yes, Victoria and Ian.
:20:27. > :20:30.It's a rocket, going to Mars. That's right. And the Indians have launched
:20:31. > :20:34.it and the Chinese failed and the Indians are going to succeed.
:20:35. > :20:36.They're going to get a rocket to go all the way to Mars.
:20:37. > :20:40.Absolutely right, an unmanned mission this was. But only to start
:20:41. > :20:43.with. There's going to be people on it eventually. Shouldn't they have
:20:44. > :20:47.been on it at the beginning? How much does the UK provide to India in
:20:48. > :20:50.aid annually? A couple of hundred million? 280 million, according to
:20:51. > :20:57.the Express. How much is India's Mars mission thought to cost? 280
:20:58. > :21:01.million. ?45 million. They've managed to find a way of getting to
:21:02. > :21:06.Mars for 0.01% of the cost of our proposed route from London to
:21:07. > :21:10.Birmingham. Fingers on the buzzers, teams. Let's
:21:11. > :21:14.see what else is behind Godfrey Bloom's Fridge Of News.
:21:15. > :21:23.It's Paxman. It is Pax. He said he doesn't vote. He interviewed Russell
:21:24. > :21:26.Brand and gave Russell Brand a hard time for not voting. It's quite
:21:27. > :21:29.strange though because in the interview he kept using the phrase
:21:30. > :21:34."can't be arsed". He kept saying, "You can't be arsed to vote." You
:21:35. > :21:37.know, it didn't quite ring true as a thing you would think Jeremy Paxman
:21:38. > :21:41.would say and then a few days later he sort of came out and said, "I
:21:42. > :21:45.gave Russell Brand a hard time but actually I don't vote either." And I
:21:46. > :21:49.wonder if he hasn't started thinking that he wants to be Russell Brand.
:21:50. > :21:53.Yes. There's no other explanation. Definitely.
:21:54. > :21:57.We're going to see him in necklaces by the end of the week. Yes. I think
:21:58. > :22:00.he was just indulgent, wasn't he? He just didn't ask him any questions
:22:01. > :22:04.and didn't challenge anything and just smiled at him. I just thought,
:22:05. > :22:07.gosh, you've got a beard as well. If you watched the footage though,
:22:08. > :22:12.Russell Brand is really flirting with him. It's sort of brilliant.
:22:13. > :22:15.Paxman kind of melts under the charm. Russell Brand is sort of
:22:16. > :22:19.tickling him and teasing him and going, "Come on, Jeremy." It is,
:22:20. > :22:24.it's like watching Mr Paxman falling in love.
:22:25. > :22:28.Godfrey, you quite like voting with your feet, don't you? We've got an
:22:29. > :22:33.impressive demonstration of that. Here you with Krishnan Guru-Murthy.
:22:34. > :22:36.The trouble is if you won't elucidate what was in your mind,
:22:37. > :22:42.because you claim you can't remember, it's a bit difficult. I
:22:43. > :22:46.can tell you what was in my mind but you won't let me speak and it's ?1
:22:47. > :22:49.billion a month going where we don't know where it goes. I'm not
:22:50. > :22:53.interested in that. I'm interested in why you use the phrase. I'm
:22:54. > :22:58.saying you should be. Move on. Move on, there's a good fellow. I'm not
:22:59. > :23:01.going to move on until we've got to the bottom of why you used this
:23:02. > :23:05.phrase. Well, if you're not going to move on, I don't think there's much
:23:06. > :23:08.point in continuing it, is there. If you're not going to talk about
:23:09. > :23:12.serious issues. Are you giving up? There's no point in continuing it.
:23:13. > :23:15.Are you giving up, Mr Bloom? I can't be bothered with you.
:23:16. > :23:19.That was a less flirtatious interview.
:23:20. > :23:23.Yes, I can tell you, I do not fancy Murphy, or whatever his name is. Why
:23:24. > :23:26.has he got an Irish name anyway that's what I don't understand.
:23:27. > :23:30.Murthy, Murthy. Right, sorry. Sorry, look, I don't want to have a
:23:31. > :23:33.row but why shouldn't he have an Irish name? I mean, why shouldn't
:23:34. > :23:39.he? Why do you ask that question? Because he's got a Welsh accent.
:23:40. > :23:44.Geography is not his strong point. Time now for the odd one out round.
:23:45. > :23:47.One between you. This week, Dick Van Dyke's car, an egg in Fenchurch
:23:48. > :23:50.Street, Tutankhamun, and Gwyneth Paltrow's dinner. Right, Dick Van
:23:51. > :23:57.Dyke recently was in the news about two or three months ago.
:23:58. > :24:01.He's still around, he's still going, but his car caught fire in America
:24:02. > :24:04.so that's the reason why, something about a car catching fire.
:24:05. > :24:06.Tutankhamun, there was a report looking at the injuries of
:24:07. > :24:10.Tutankhamun that suggested he may have been killed on the battlefield
:24:11. > :24:14.by being hit in the side by a chariot. The egg in Fenchurch Street
:24:15. > :24:19.Station, that must be about the heat. Dick Van Dyke and the egg are
:24:20. > :24:22.both nearly cooked and Gwyneth Paltrow's dinner is never hot enough
:24:23. > :24:26.so Tutankhamun is the odd one out. You've got the wrong odd one out,
:24:27. > :24:29.but you're on exactly the right trail. The egg is the odd one out
:24:30. > :24:33.because it didn't cause a car accident. There was no car involved.
:24:34. > :24:36.It nearly did, but it didn't. Somebody was driving along and saw
:24:37. > :24:40.an egg, "Is that an egg?" They stopped just in time. Dick Van
:24:41. > :24:43.Dyke's in his car going, "It must be Mary Poppins..." He's on fire.
:24:44. > :24:47.Tutankhamun said... So the egg is the odd one out. You're right about
:24:48. > :24:52.the fire. What fire? You're right about the fire.
:24:53. > :24:56.Did I mention fire? Dick Van Dyke's car... Dick Van Dyke's car was on
:24:57. > :24:59.fire? Was on fire. You were right about that. That was absolutely
:25:00. > :25:01.right, that's key. That's key. So it's temperature, it's temperature.
:25:02. > :25:04.Victoria, have you got any ideas? OK, so it's relevant that there's
:25:05. > :25:08.fire. This isn't Gwyneth Paltrow, it's the dinner. They've all been
:25:09. > :25:12.exposed to fire except the egg, which cooked without it. That's
:25:13. > :25:17.right. Is that right? Well done. That is right. That is right.
:25:18. > :25:20.They've all caught fire unexpectedly except the egg in Fenchurch Street,
:25:21. > :25:23.which was cooked to perfection by the glare of the sun reflected by
:25:24. > :25:27.the walkie-talkie building opposite. I don't think an egg cooked on the
:25:28. > :25:30.pavement can be described as cooked to perfection. Yes, the same
:25:31. > :25:34.architect who's Uruguayan, called Rafael Vinoly, he also designed a
:25:35. > :25:40.hotel in Las Vegas with exactly the same problem. Exactly the same
:25:41. > :25:43.thing. It's worth remembering the name of that guy, very much the G4S
:25:44. > :25:46.of architects. King Tutankhamun, experts said the mummy of King
:25:47. > :25:52.Tutankhamun spontaneously combusted after it was embalmed. A virtual
:25:53. > :25:56.autopsy suggests his death was due to a trauma that is apparent down
:25:57. > :25:58.the left-hand side of his body. No doubt caused by having to spend his
:25:59. > :26:08.life standing like this. Gwyneth Paltrow has revealed that
:26:09. > :26:11.her husband Chris Martin has only twice made dinner for her and on
:26:12. > :26:15.both occasions they had to call the fire brigade. Still, they and their
:26:16. > :26:22.children were unscathed. It would be awful if they'd ended up with baked
:26:23. > :26:24.apple. Oh. Time now for the missing words round, which this week
:26:25. > :26:30.features as its guest publication Regtransfers, the magazine for the
:26:31. > :26:35.world of personal number plates. We start with Simon Cowell reveals
:26:36. > :26:38.what? Reveals his number plate. You probably can't see Simon Cowell's
:26:39. > :26:42.numberplate for all the cigarette smoke billowing around his pregnant
:26:43. > :26:45.girlfriend. Did you see, there were pictures, did you not see that?
:26:46. > :26:48.People smoking. There's a picture of him in the car, fagging away,
:26:49. > :26:55.pregnant girlfriend in the passenger seat. Unbelievable. I though I
:26:56. > :27:01.thought he was evil before, but... Simon Cowell reveals his baby name
:27:02. > :27:04.choice is Simon. Oh! The baby is due in February. Simon Cowell has
:27:05. > :27:08.already got a high chair, some tiny clothes and a booster seat. All he
:27:09. > :27:11.needs now is to get some stuff for the baby. Next, George W Bush
:27:12. > :27:15.planning what? A gallery, an exhibition that's going to open.
:27:16. > :27:18.Yes, that's almost there. Planning to paint a portrait series of world
:27:19. > :27:22.leaders. According to the Telegraph he is also known to dabble in
:27:23. > :27:26.landscapes. As the people of Iraq know only too well.
:27:27. > :27:31.And finally David Suchet admits to what when playing Poirot? I know
:27:32. > :27:35.that one. What is it? He's got a penny up his arse, hasn't he, so he
:27:36. > :27:38.minced the walk. You're absolutely right, yes. David Suchet admits to
:27:39. > :27:42.clenching a penny between his buttocks when playing Poirot. Which
:27:43. > :27:51.he learned from Laurence Olivier. Who I think had more than pennies up
:27:52. > :27:56.his arse... LAUGHTER. Right down to the line, Godfrey.
:27:57. > :28:00.Sorry. Sorry. So the final scores are Godfrey and
:28:01. > :28:08.Paul have eight but Victoria and Ian are our winners this week with 12.
:28:09. > :28:11.APPLAUSE. And I leave you with news that to counter allegations that
:28:12. > :28:14.high interest rates leave borrowers dissatisfied, Wonga.com arrange of
:28:15. > :28:19.photo shoot with one of their happy customers.
:28:20. > :28:22.Viewers of Doctor Who complain that the chase scenes aren't as exciting
:28:23. > :28:31.as they used to be. And on a trip to the local funfair,
:28:32. > :28:33.there is a worrying sight for Bruce Forsyth.