0:00:27 > 0:00:29Come on, man, Joseph, we've been sat here for ten minutes.
0:00:29 > 0:00:31It's a people carrier, not Apollo bloody 13.
0:00:31 > 0:00:33Hey, man, it's been a while.
0:00:33 > 0:00:36I'm just familiarizing myself with the controls, like.
0:00:36 > 0:00:37Look, remember what the doctor said?
0:00:37 > 0:00:39If you can drive the car round the block twice,
0:00:39 > 0:00:43- that shows your co-ordination's back on track.- I'm not arsed about that.
0:00:43 > 0:00:45Yeah, but if you do that, then he'll let you go to the pub.
0:00:45 > 0:00:46If you can walk there by yourself.
0:00:46 > 0:00:48Now, that I am arsed about.
0:00:48 > 0:00:51In the deepest of ironies, you can't drink until you drive.
0:00:52 > 0:00:57Aw, look at you, my little darling.
0:00:57 > 0:01:01We didn't ever think you were going come out of that incubator.
0:01:01 > 0:01:05But here you are, at last, home, where you belong.
0:01:05 > 0:01:08Well, not really. His real home is at our house, isn't it?
0:01:08 > 0:01:10Rookie mistake.
0:01:10 > 0:01:12Listen to your mam, she's all confused
0:01:12 > 0:01:15in the excitement, isn't she?
0:01:15 > 0:01:20This is your home whenever you need it and if you ever need us,
0:01:20 > 0:01:21we will always...
0:01:21 > 0:01:25BUZZER GOES Oh, there's me timer. Bairn, anyone?
0:01:25 > 0:01:27Oh, give him here.
0:01:27 > 0:01:30That's three trays of blueberry cupcakes ready to come out.
0:01:30 > 0:01:34Be nice to have some sort of affection for once.
0:01:34 > 0:01:36- Are you all right, Dot? - She's missing Arthur,
0:01:36 > 0:01:38so, in time-honoured tradition,
0:01:38 > 0:01:40she's making the rest of us feel miserable about it.
0:01:41 > 0:01:45Well, it's a miserable world. Yes, it is.
0:01:45 > 0:01:48And no-one cares about an old bird like me.
0:01:48 > 0:01:51Well, why don't you tell me about it?
0:01:52 > 0:01:56Well, Sarah, Arthur went to Canada to sort out his brother's affairs.
0:01:56 > 0:02:00- PHONE RINGS - Sorry.
0:02:00 > 0:02:01Hello? Hi!
0:02:01 > 0:02:04It's the university. Yes, yes, I can talk.
0:02:06 > 0:02:09I thought Arthur would be home by now,
0:02:09 > 0:02:11but it's been two months and...
0:02:13 > 0:02:16..and of course you're fast asleep.
0:02:16 > 0:02:18I'm not sure I'm ready.
0:02:18 > 0:02:22Don't worry. We're not going to be hitting 88 miles an hour and going back in time.
0:02:22 > 0:02:25- Although, we could drive to Jarrow, which in a way is back in time.- Ha!
0:02:25 > 0:02:27But, seriously, a couple of laps round the block
0:02:27 > 0:02:30from the South-Tyneside Stig and you're one step closer to the pub!
0:02:30 > 0:02:32Great!
0:02:32 > 0:02:34I'll just get me mirrors sorted.
0:02:39 > 0:02:41Oh, my God! I just got a call about my PhD
0:02:41 > 0:02:42and you are now talking to a doctor!
0:02:42 > 0:02:45That's brilliant!
0:02:45 > 0:02:48- And...there's something else. - Give it to me straight, Doc.
0:02:48 > 0:02:51Very funny. They sent it over to Zurich University.
0:02:51 > 0:02:53They've got a great psychology department over there.
0:02:53 > 0:02:55Totally knew that.
0:02:55 > 0:02:58And they've offered me a research post!
0:02:58 > 0:02:59Just like that!
0:02:59 > 0:03:02And they said that they'd pay all the relocation costs - everything.
0:03:02 > 0:03:04What did you say?
0:03:04 > 0:03:09I said no. Obviously. It'd mean moving the whole family
0:03:09 > 0:03:11and we're settled here.
0:03:11 > 0:03:13But aren't you proud of me?
0:03:13 > 0:03:15Yeah, brilliant.
0:03:15 > 0:03:17OK, Thelma. You have fun with Louise.
0:03:18 > 0:03:21- Guess what, Sarah's passed her PhD. - Really?
0:03:21 > 0:03:24I bet she'll have a lot of use for that round here(!)
0:03:24 > 0:03:29Mind, we might be needing a doctor after this.
0:03:29 > 0:03:30To infinity and beyond!
0:03:36 > 0:03:40Mam, do you think cupcakes know that they're cupcakes?
0:03:40 > 0:03:43- That's deep.- Right, Dot's trying to get AJ to sleep.
0:03:43 > 0:03:46I managed to talk her out of using brandy.
0:03:46 > 0:03:48Some big changes now the bairn's home, eh?
0:03:48 > 0:03:51You'll probably be putting your career on hold. That's what I did.
0:03:51 > 0:03:55But don't worry, as you can see, I came back in a blaze of glory.
0:03:56 > 0:04:01Well, no need, actually, I had a call from uni and...
0:04:02 > 0:04:04..I've passed my PhD!
0:04:04 > 0:04:05BOTH: Eee!
0:04:05 > 0:04:08So, does that mean you're a doctor now?
0:04:08 > 0:04:10Ooh! It'd be good if I could get a quote off you.
0:04:10 > 0:04:13You know, for the side of the box, saying my cupcakes make you happy.
0:04:13 > 0:04:16If a proper doctor of psychology would put her name to them,
0:04:16 > 0:04:18I'm sure it'd boost me sales.
0:04:20 > 0:04:23Well, I haven't had my final mark,
0:04:23 > 0:04:25so I'm not fully qualified yet.
0:04:25 > 0:04:28But, when you are, will you be able to write prescriptions?
0:04:28 > 0:04:30For some slimming pills, maybe?
0:04:30 > 0:04:32Vicki, you're not overweight.
0:04:32 > 0:04:35No, not for me, man. I'm perfect.
0:04:35 > 0:04:38I meant for you! Just to get some of that chunk off you.
0:04:40 > 0:04:42Vicki, I've just had a baby.
0:04:42 > 0:04:44This will happen to you when you have one.
0:04:44 > 0:04:46Oh, no, thanks. After seeing what it did to you,
0:04:46 > 0:04:50my womb is closed until further notice!
0:04:50 > 0:04:51OK.
0:04:52 > 0:04:55So...how's everything going with your boyfriend?
0:04:55 > 0:04:59Aw, Lindsay? Aw, he's lush, man.
0:04:59 > 0:05:01He took us to the ballet the other night.
0:05:01 > 0:05:03Really?! Did you enjoy it?
0:05:03 > 0:05:04Aye. I got hammered.
0:05:06 > 0:05:08And how's Gervaise dealing with the break up?
0:05:08 > 0:05:11Gervaise? Oh, he's fine, man.
0:05:11 > 0:05:14He's still singing down Swayze's, so he must be all right.
0:05:15 > 0:05:19# When I hurt myself I think of you
0:05:19 > 0:05:23# And when I curse myself It's cos of you
0:05:23 > 0:05:29# And when I cry at night I go boo hoo, boo hoo. #
0:05:29 > 0:05:32- Someone should do something. - # Boo hoo, boo hoo! #
0:05:32 > 0:05:35Get off, you're shite!
0:05:35 > 0:05:37Aye, that's exactly what I had in mind.
0:05:37 > 0:05:40# Boo hoo, boo hoo! #
0:05:40 > 0:05:42Oi, Keith, put him out of his misery!
0:05:42 > 0:05:45# Boo hoo, boo hoo! #
0:05:45 > 0:05:48Hey, come on! I can't sing without me microphone!
0:05:48 > 0:05:52EVERYONE CHEERS
0:05:54 > 0:05:58Everyone! Me dad's coming in for his first pint since the stroke.
0:05:58 > 0:06:01And it's a big thing for him, right, so don't make a fuss!
0:06:01 > 0:06:03I want him to keep his dignity.
0:06:03 > 0:06:07Howay! Come on, you're nearly there. Come on, not much further.
0:06:07 > 0:06:09Yes, come on!
0:06:10 > 0:06:13Run, Forrest, run!
0:06:16 > 0:06:19I'll have a...
0:06:19 > 0:06:20I'll have a...
0:06:20 > 0:06:24A pint of bitter for me dad, please, Christine and an oxygen chaser. And I'll have a lager.
0:06:24 > 0:06:27Right you are. Can I interest you in a cupcake?
0:06:27 > 0:06:30- Local business made them. - Tell her...
0:06:30 > 0:06:32We've kind of come out to get away from cupcakes.
0:06:32 > 0:06:34They've taken over me whole house.
0:06:34 > 0:06:36Everywhere I look, I see cupcakes.
0:06:36 > 0:06:39Then at night, in me dreams, I see cupcakes...
0:06:39 > 0:06:40chasing us.
0:06:40 > 0:06:42Some of them are as big as sheds.
0:06:46 > 0:06:47I think it's the walk that did it.
0:06:49 > 0:06:53Can't have been the pint, he's only had a sip. Oh, well, waste not, want not.
0:06:53 > 0:06:56- Leave it. - I thought you were asleep!
0:06:56 > 0:07:00- I'm not asleep, I'm regrouping. - Fair enough.
0:07:00 > 0:07:03Right, I've got to go and talk to Sarah about something.
0:07:03 > 0:07:05And all the excitement here's getting a bit much for me.
0:07:05 > 0:07:07Lightweight.
0:07:07 > 0:07:11- Lindsay, can you make sure this party animal gets home all right? - It would be my honour.
0:07:12 > 0:07:14And what would you know of honour?
0:07:16 > 0:07:20Gervaise. How are you?
0:07:20 > 0:07:21I'm in hell.
0:07:21 > 0:07:26My mojo's gone, I think the crowds are picking up on my sadness.
0:07:26 > 0:07:28It's turning their hearts against me.
0:07:28 > 0:07:30I think it's their ears that are doing that.
0:07:30 > 0:07:32Plus, to top it all off, someone's defaced the mural.
0:07:36 > 0:07:40- Is that a beard? - No, mate, it's balls.
0:07:40 > 0:07:43Do you know what it feels like to have balls on your chin?
0:07:45 > 0:07:48Oh, yeah.
0:07:48 > 0:07:50- Are you mental, woman? - Sorry?
0:07:50 > 0:07:53You're going to let the job of your dreams slip away
0:07:53 > 0:07:56just so your lad can stop here and knock about with us?
0:07:56 > 0:08:00And work at a newspaper that's that bad it even employs my lad?!
0:08:00 > 0:08:01I don't really see it like that.
0:08:04 > 0:08:08Sarah, I'm qualified for one thing -
0:08:08 > 0:08:10working at the old folks' home.
0:08:10 > 0:08:13And I know I'm going to end up working there
0:08:13 > 0:08:15until I end up living there.
0:08:15 > 0:08:19But this... This is a chance for you to really make
0:08:19 > 0:08:21something of yourself, man!
0:08:21 > 0:08:24Get yourself away to Belgium, you daft tart!
0:08:25 > 0:08:28Zurich's in Switzerland, Denise.
0:08:28 > 0:08:30And Switzerland's in Belgium, Sarah.
0:08:31 > 0:08:36God, I hope you don't patronise them as much when you get over there.
0:08:36 > 0:08:38Hello, my angel!
0:08:39 > 0:08:41Oh...and her friend, the devil.
0:08:41 > 0:08:43You want to mind your mouth, pompom head.
0:08:43 > 0:08:45This lass has sacrificed a whole career for you today.
0:08:45 > 0:08:48Aye, I know that, I actually came home early to talk to her about it.
0:08:48 > 0:08:50Look at her, man, just giving it up, just like that,
0:08:50 > 0:08:53so you can stay here at your daft newspaper and write stories
0:08:53 > 0:08:55about nowt that no-one wants to read. Ever.
0:08:55 > 0:08:56Thanks for that, Denise, but I was
0:08:56 > 0:08:59going to tell her that I couldn't give a toss about the newspaper.
0:08:59 > 0:09:04You should be saying, "Do you know what? This Belgium could be the best thing that's ever happened to us.
0:09:04 > 0:09:08"Put your best knickers in a carrier bag, we're leaving!" But will you say that, Jack? Will you? No.
0:09:08 > 0:09:10Yes. That's exactly what I was going to say.
0:09:10 > 0:09:13- Apart from the knickers bit. - Really?- Really?
0:09:13 > 0:09:16Yes, if mouth here would let us get a word in,
0:09:16 > 0:09:18I was going to say, "You should definitely take the job."
0:09:18 > 0:09:22The newspaper's going down the pan, anyway. I'm just watching it go round the U-bend.
0:09:22 > 0:09:24Are you're sure about this? What about your family?
0:09:24 > 0:09:28You and that little lad upstairs in the nursery, you're me family now.
0:09:28 > 0:09:31I've got to do what's best for us. Hang on, Belgium?
0:09:31 > 0:09:33I'll...I'll explain later, come here.
0:09:35 > 0:09:38DENISE SOBS
0:09:40 > 0:09:42Are you crying, Denise?
0:09:42 > 0:09:46Aw, bollocks, man, it's just so lovely.
0:09:47 > 0:09:50It's me hormones, I've been having...
0:09:50 > 0:09:54emotions. They reckon I should be shot of them once the baby's gone.
0:09:58 > 0:10:01OK. So we're off to Switzerland!
0:10:01 > 0:10:04Is your mum going to be all right with this?
0:10:04 > 0:10:05Oh, shit.
0:10:07 > 0:10:09Pauline, Pauline,
0:10:09 > 0:10:11sometimes when we get bad news,
0:10:11 > 0:10:13we throw ourselves into our work.
0:10:13 > 0:10:16Well, you can throw yourself into cracking half a dozen eggs in that bowl.
0:10:16 > 0:10:19I'm upset about Jack and Sarah going to Switzerland as well!
0:10:19 > 0:10:21But we have to accept it's what's best for them.
0:10:21 > 0:10:26Don't know what he's on about. Jack and Sarah going to Switzerland? I've never heard of anything so daft.
0:10:26 > 0:10:28Don't bother, Joe, she won't listen.
0:10:28 > 0:10:31Just like she didn't listen to me about the wallpaper in the hallway,
0:10:31 > 0:10:34and look how that's come back to bite her.
0:10:35 > 0:10:38Oh, I forgot to say, I have got us tickets
0:10:38 > 0:10:40for that Croatian mime show this afternoon.
0:10:40 > 0:10:42I know you're going to get a lot out of it.
0:10:42 > 0:10:45Aye, I'll do some Jagerbombs just to make sure I'm out of it.
0:10:45 > 0:10:47- Hang on. This afternoon?- Yeah.
0:10:47 > 0:10:50No, it's Gervaise's album launch this afternoon.
0:10:50 > 0:10:52So? You don't have to be there.
0:10:52 > 0:10:54Well, of course I do!
0:10:54 > 0:10:57I'm the executive producer, I take this very seriously.
0:10:57 > 0:11:00Oh, it's Big Keith. Eee, is that a...?
0:11:00 > 0:11:03- Saveloy dip. They've just boiled them up.- What are they?
0:11:03 > 0:11:05It's like a sausage. But they boil it.
0:11:05 > 0:11:08Then they take the bread bun and they dip it in the hot sausage juice.
0:11:08 > 0:11:12Then they whack pease pudding on and then I am very happy.
0:11:12 > 0:11:17- Oh, God, I could murder one. Do you fancy one, Lindsay, pet?- Erm...
0:11:18 > 0:11:21I thought you were all about new experiences and growing as a person?
0:11:21 > 0:11:23Yeah, but I don't want to grow a tumour.
0:11:23 > 0:11:26- You don't know what's in these things.- How?
0:11:26 > 0:11:29- It's definitely some kind of meat. - I won't risk it, thanks.
0:11:29 > 0:11:34How, man? I did all of that stuff that you wanted to do!
0:11:34 > 0:11:37That opera would have been agony if I didn't bring me iPod.
0:11:37 > 0:11:41And that charity ball... That was dead boring until we got lashed.
0:11:41 > 0:11:45I'm sorry. You're right.
0:11:45 > 0:11:48We should always be showing each other new things.
0:11:51 > 0:11:53I think I'm going to die.
0:11:53 > 0:11:56I know! Die and go to heaven.
0:11:56 > 0:11:59Oh! I need a drink!
0:11:59 > 0:12:01Now you're talking my language!
0:12:03 > 0:12:04Mam? You all right?
0:12:04 > 0:12:08Dad says you were having a bit of trouble accepting we're moving away?
0:12:08 > 0:12:11"Moving away"! Listen to you! Have you heard them?
0:12:11 > 0:12:14Jack, you're not going anywhere, you've got a new-born baby,
0:12:14 > 0:12:17so you'll need your family here to help out.
0:12:17 > 0:12:22And Dot who...brings her own special magic to any occasion.
0:12:22 > 0:12:28It's inevitable, I suppose, everyone goes away, just like my Arthur.
0:12:28 > 0:12:30That's kind of what they're here to talk to you about?
0:12:30 > 0:12:32What? Dot?
0:12:32 > 0:12:36You learn to block her out after ten...20 years.
0:12:36 > 0:12:38Pauline. We are going away.
0:12:38 > 0:12:41On Saturday, Mam. The flights are booked, the house is all packed up.
0:12:41 > 0:12:44Look, can we have enough of this nonsense?
0:12:44 > 0:12:47I've got a business to run here! And, look, see!
0:12:47 > 0:12:49There, you're upsetting your father.
0:12:49 > 0:12:51Pauline, they're going, they really are.
0:12:52 > 0:12:55Well, he makes a better welder than he does a singer.
0:12:56 > 0:12:59- You all right, Denise?- Hi, Vic.
0:12:59 > 0:13:03Right, shall we get a seat and get settled in? I'm feeling a proper session coming on!
0:13:03 > 0:13:05Erm, Gervaise wants you to introduce him.
0:13:05 > 0:13:07He's written down what he wants you to say.
0:13:07 > 0:13:09Vicki, we have got theatre tickets.
0:13:09 > 0:13:12It's an early show, five o'clock, so can we just get this over with
0:13:12 > 0:13:13and be on our way?
0:13:13 > 0:13:16All right, man! Howay then, let's get cracking. Where's Gervaise?
0:13:16 > 0:13:18Behind that curtain.
0:13:18 > 0:13:20Been waiting for over an hour for you.
0:13:20 > 0:13:21Howay, just read it out, OK?
0:13:26 > 0:13:29Right, you lot, settle down. There you go, pet, you crack on.
0:13:31 > 0:13:32Yous all right?
0:13:34 > 0:13:38"Thank you for coming to the launch of Gervaise's first debut album -
0:13:38 > 0:13:41"Hot Guilt, by Gervaise,
0:13:41 > 0:13:45"executive produced by Vicki Pearson!"
0:13:45 > 0:13:47Woo!
0:13:47 > 0:13:49"Gervaise knows that none of you
0:13:49 > 0:13:52"have ever really believed in him and...
0:13:53 > 0:13:56"..and to most of you he is a bit of a joke.
0:13:57 > 0:14:00"But he'd like to say that sometimes it just takes one person
0:14:00 > 0:14:02"to think you're special.
0:14:02 > 0:14:05"And that person makes you carry on. And that person is..."
0:14:05 > 0:14:07- me.- Howay, man, get on with it!
0:14:07 > 0:14:09We're waiting to do the meat raffle!
0:14:11 > 0:14:18So, without further ado, please welcome to the stage...Gervaise!
0:14:18 > 0:14:24# You, you're my rock You're the tick to my tock
0:14:24 > 0:14:27# You're my pants I'm your socks
0:14:27 > 0:14:32# I'm a rat, you're the docks You're my rock
0:14:32 > 0:14:35# So let's roll together. #
0:14:35 > 0:14:37Can we please get going now?
0:14:37 > 0:14:39Nah, man, let's just sack it off -
0:14:39 > 0:14:42I want to see how the first album I've ever executive produced
0:14:42 > 0:14:43goes down with the public.
0:14:43 > 0:14:45Come on, let's face it,
0:14:45 > 0:14:48all you've done is roll a turd in some glitter.
0:14:51 > 0:14:52You know what?
0:14:52 > 0:14:55I'm starting to think maybe you're the glittery turd.
0:14:56 > 0:15:02# You're like sex Sexy sex, sexy sex
0:15:02 > 0:15:04# Sexy sex. #
0:15:04 > 0:15:07Ohh! Ah!
0:15:07 > 0:15:09Me bairn! I think it's coming!
0:15:09 > 0:15:12Right. Out the way, come on. She's having a baby.
0:15:12 > 0:15:14Denise! You all right? Do you want me to come with you?
0:15:14 > 0:15:18Absolutely not. Ooh! It's like me uterus is being wrung out.
0:15:18 > 0:15:21I think that is going to be a great experience for Denise.
0:15:21 > 0:15:23It's really going to give her some depth.
0:15:23 > 0:15:26Oh, for Christ's sakes!
0:15:26 > 0:15:29Vicky. Vicky, wait!
0:15:29 > 0:15:32# Yeah, baby, you know what I mean
0:15:32 > 0:15:33# You're my rock... #
0:15:35 > 0:15:38Aaah! Bur... Ah!
0:15:38 > 0:15:40What?
0:15:43 > 0:15:44You all right? What's going on?
0:15:44 > 0:15:46I was putting it on, wasn't I?
0:15:46 > 0:15:48I'm not sitting there listening to her
0:15:48 > 0:15:49whinge her way through me night out.
0:15:49 > 0:15:52- THEY LAUGH - Right. Chips.
0:15:52 > 0:15:55Oh, what the...? Bloody hell!
0:15:55 > 0:15:58Ah-hah! Brilliant.
0:15:58 > 0:16:00No, this is real. It's really...
0:16:00 > 0:16:03Ah, yer bugger to hell...real!
0:16:03 > 0:16:04Shit.
0:16:06 > 0:16:09# You're my rock! #
0:16:09 > 0:16:11CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:16:11 > 0:16:13Mam, I'm sorry this is hard for you,
0:16:13 > 0:16:18but on Saturday, me, Sarah and AJ, we're all moving to Switzerland
0:16:18 > 0:16:22for a life of properly funded academia and triangular chocolate.
0:16:22 > 0:16:23Really?
0:16:27 > 0:16:30On Saturday? To bloody Switzerland!
0:16:30 > 0:16:33Even I picked that much up.
0:16:34 > 0:16:37Joe, how could you keep this from us?
0:16:37 > 0:16:38I never kept it from you.
0:16:38 > 0:16:41I've been telling you again and again but you didn't listen,
0:16:41 > 0:16:44cos for the last three months, you've had cupcakes for ears.
0:16:44 > 0:16:48Oh, I knew a woman who had that. Turned out to be wax.
0:16:48 > 0:16:50Aw, me bairns!
0:16:53 > 0:16:58You're going away and I'm so sorry, I've let this stupid baking business
0:16:58 > 0:17:01get in the way of everything, haven't I?
0:17:04 > 0:17:05You've got four yeses.
0:17:10 > 0:17:11Smoking, babes?
0:17:11 > 0:17:14Yes, babes! I'm bloody smoking.
0:17:18 > 0:17:19Look, what I said back there,
0:17:19 > 0:17:22it's only because I want to help you to grow.
0:17:23 > 0:17:27You know what, Lindsay, I think I'm sick of growing.
0:17:28 > 0:17:32Funnily enough, I think I've outgrown growing.
0:17:32 > 0:17:34What are you saying?
0:17:34 > 0:17:37Well, everything you've taken us to has been dead boring.
0:17:37 > 0:17:40I had to get your family drunk just so they'd stop talking
0:17:40 > 0:17:42about house prices and what the best schools are.
0:17:42 > 0:17:44Those things are important though.
0:17:44 > 0:17:47Aye, but not to me.
0:17:47 > 0:17:49SHE SIGHS
0:17:49 > 0:17:52I just want us to have a laugh.
0:17:52 > 0:17:54That's who I am.
0:17:54 > 0:17:56And I adore who you are.
0:17:56 > 0:17:59No, I think you adore what you think I might become,
0:17:59 > 0:18:01if you knock all the rough edges off.
0:18:01 > 0:18:06But...I'm proud of me edges.
0:18:06 > 0:18:09They keep us...edgy.
0:18:11 > 0:18:15OK, yeah, I suppose I can put up with that.
0:18:15 > 0:18:18That's just it, I don't want to be with someone
0:18:18 > 0:18:21if they're just putting up with us.
0:18:21 > 0:18:23Please don't say it's over.
0:18:24 > 0:18:27Look, flower...
0:18:29 > 0:18:31..I feel for you,
0:18:31 > 0:18:36I really do and it's not your fault.
0:18:37 > 0:18:41You're just not from Hebburn.
0:18:43 > 0:18:45Can we still be friends?
0:18:46 > 0:18:48Why, like?
0:18:48 > 0:18:50So this is goodbye?
0:18:52 > 0:18:54Ta-ra, pet.
0:19:03 > 0:19:07SHE CACKLES WITH LAUGHTER
0:19:10 > 0:19:13Hang on. Here comes another contraction.
0:19:13 > 0:19:15Time to ride the lightning!
0:19:15 > 0:19:18Does it hurt? Does it hurt?
0:19:18 > 0:19:21Nowt! I felt nowt!
0:19:21 > 0:19:24BOTH LAUGH UNCONTROLLABLY
0:19:24 > 0:19:27You and your husband having fun, now you've found the gas and air?
0:19:27 > 0:19:30BOTH CACKLE
0:19:30 > 0:19:33Husband! She thinks we're married!
0:19:33 > 0:19:36The baby's not even mine!
0:19:36 > 0:19:38THEY CONTINUE TO LAUGH
0:19:38 > 0:19:40What?
0:19:40 > 0:19:43LAUGHTER SUBSIDES
0:19:43 > 0:19:45CHEERING
0:19:45 > 0:19:49A proper roast dinner for Jack and Sarah's last night in Hebburn.
0:19:49 > 0:19:52- Joe why don't you carve with your reactivated arm?- Aye.
0:19:52 > 0:19:55Mind, it'll probably taste all cupcakey,
0:19:55 > 0:19:59because that's the only thing that's been in that stove for six months!
0:19:59 > 0:20:03The taste of home cooking - blueberry and choc chip chicken dinner.
0:20:03 > 0:20:05It sounds good to me.
0:20:06 > 0:20:10You're quiet tonight. Bit of an unexpected bonus.
0:20:10 > 0:20:14I'm still reeling from the break up of me latest relationship, aren't I?
0:20:14 > 0:20:17But for you, relationships are like buses, aren't they?
0:20:17 > 0:20:20- They all break down eventually. - Mam! Will you tell him!
0:20:20 > 0:20:22Shush, yous.
0:20:22 > 0:20:26Now, before we tuck in, me and your dad have got an announcement.
0:20:26 > 0:20:28We are shutting down the bakery business.
0:20:28 > 0:20:30DAD AND GRANNY DOT CHEER
0:20:30 > 0:20:32Hold on, I thought the business was a dream come true!
0:20:32 > 0:20:35You said you were like Erin Brockovich but with baked goods?
0:20:35 > 0:20:37- Well, I...- A dream?
0:20:37 > 0:20:39More like a bloody nightmare!
0:20:39 > 0:20:43- I realise I've been neglecting you all.- Me most of all.
0:20:43 > 0:20:47And yous are the most important things in me life.
0:20:47 > 0:20:48Aww!
0:20:48 > 0:20:50So that's it. It's gone.
0:20:50 > 0:20:52It's time to move on.
0:20:52 > 0:20:57- Aye, well, why don't you move on and get the gravy for the dinner?- Oh!
0:20:57 > 0:20:59Aren't you going to miss the money?
0:20:59 > 0:21:03It never made any money. Oven on all day, the leccy bill
0:21:03 > 0:21:05looked like an unemployment statistic.
0:21:05 > 0:21:07Why you telling the midwife you're not the father?
0:21:07 > 0:21:09Are you calling us a slag, while I'm having a baby?
0:21:09 > 0:21:11No, I would never do anything like that.
0:21:11 > 0:21:12Cos if you are,
0:21:12 > 0:21:14I'll have this bairn, I'll jump off this bed
0:21:14 > 0:21:17and I'll slap the very face off you.
0:21:17 > 0:21:18No, look.
0:21:18 > 0:21:21I can't be the father, because after Hutchy was born,
0:21:21 > 0:21:23I had a vasectomy.
0:21:23 > 0:21:25So, how am I pregnant then?
0:21:25 > 0:21:27Well, did you sleep with anyone
0:21:27 > 0:21:29just before me and you hooked up?
0:21:29 > 0:21:31Oh, aye.
0:21:31 > 0:21:34But why did you stay with us if you knew it wasn't your bairn?
0:21:34 > 0:21:35I love you, Denise.
0:21:35 > 0:21:37More than anything else in the world.
0:21:40 > 0:21:43Well, you're... You're stupider than you look then.
0:21:46 > 0:21:50Oh. Ohhhhh!
0:21:50 > 0:21:53This one hurts. Ohhh-ho-ho!
0:21:53 > 0:21:55Aha, lad!
0:21:55 > 0:22:00Right, if you'll excuse me, I need to go upstairs.
0:22:00 > 0:22:03I've got some books coming out in hardback.
0:22:03 > 0:22:05SOFT MUSIC PLAYS
0:22:05 > 0:22:08- What's that? - It's coming from outside.
0:22:08 > 0:22:11# She was me
0:22:11 > 0:22:14# We were one
0:22:14 > 0:22:16# We were free
0:22:16 > 0:22:20# And if there's somebody
0:22:20 > 0:22:21# Calling me on...
0:22:21 > 0:22:23Vicky! I think it's for you!
0:22:23 > 0:22:25# She's the one
0:22:28 > 0:22:31# And if there's somebody
0:22:31 > 0:22:34# Calling me on
0:22:34 > 0:22:37# She's the one... #
0:22:37 > 0:22:39What are you doing?
0:22:39 > 0:22:42I'm serenading you. It's what men in love do.
0:22:42 > 0:22:44They shout to the whole world,
0:22:44 > 0:22:49"I'm in love with Vicky Pearson, and I don't care who knows it!"
0:22:49 > 0:22:51We know that now, gobshite! Just shut up!
0:22:53 > 0:22:56Gervaise, I'm very touched.
0:22:56 > 0:23:00And that's what I want. To touch you.
0:23:00 > 0:23:02Howay, man, me arms are knacking.
0:23:03 > 0:23:05I cannit do it!
0:23:05 > 0:23:08Come on, pet, you can. It's only been 36 hours.
0:23:08 > 0:23:11I cannit, man, Ramsey, please make it stop.
0:23:11 > 0:23:14Make it sto-o-o-op!
0:23:14 > 0:23:17What's wrong with you, man? Have you gone soft?
0:23:17 > 0:23:20You cannit even give birth to a tiny little baby?
0:23:23 > 0:23:26SHE STRAINS
0:23:26 > 0:23:29Aaahhh!
0:23:29 > 0:23:35Aaaaghhh!
0:23:35 > 0:23:37SHE SCREAMS AND STRAINS
0:23:37 > 0:23:39BABY CRIES
0:23:39 > 0:23:41It's a girl!
0:23:43 > 0:23:44A little girl?
0:23:46 > 0:23:47Have we got a little girl?
0:23:49 > 0:23:51And now, she has her mammy.
0:23:53 > 0:23:56I'm a mammy!
0:23:56 > 0:23:59And I'm the proudest dad in the world.
0:24:01 > 0:24:02What we going to call her?
0:24:04 > 0:24:06- Jack.- What?
0:24:06 > 0:24:10Jaq, with a Q.
0:24:10 > 0:24:13Right. Is that French, like?
0:24:13 > 0:24:14Aye, probably.
0:24:17 > 0:24:21Look at you. Little Jaq with a Q.
0:24:23 > 0:24:26- I love you. - I love her too.
0:24:28 > 0:24:34No. You, man. I love you, you goggle-eyed muppet.
0:24:36 > 0:24:38Aye. Cushty.
0:24:39 > 0:24:43I know I'm going to regret this,
0:24:43 > 0:24:45but will you marry us?
0:24:47 > 0:24:49It's a bit sudden, like.
0:24:49 > 0:24:50SHE SPLUTTERS WITH LAUGHTER
0:24:50 > 0:24:53Listen, Gervaise, I don't doubt your feelings.
0:24:53 > 0:24:57But I think maybe I just need some time for meself, like.
0:24:57 > 0:24:59You know, to be on me own for a bit.
0:24:59 > 0:25:01But that's exactly what I want.
0:25:01 > 0:25:03To be with you, when you're alone.
0:25:03 > 0:25:05I can sing you something else, if you like.
0:25:05 > 0:25:07What about an extended Cheryl medley?
0:25:07 > 0:25:08What?
0:25:10 > 0:25:12If you really loved us...
0:25:12 > 0:25:15For now, you'll be happy with just friends.
0:25:15 > 0:25:18With benefits?
0:25:18 > 0:25:19More like friends on benefits.
0:25:23 > 0:25:27You get yerself away, I'll probably pop in during the week.
0:25:27 > 0:25:31Wednesday's my mid-week Motown Metal Mashup Mayhem.
0:25:32 > 0:25:34See you Wednesday then.
0:25:34 > 0:25:36You will.
0:25:36 > 0:25:37Yeah.
0:25:40 > 0:25:47MUSIC: "She's The One" by Robbie Williams
0:25:47 > 0:25:49Howay.
0:25:52 > 0:25:55# I was her
0:25:55 > 0:25:57# She was me... #
0:25:59 > 0:26:00Look, I think we both know you're going
0:26:00 > 0:26:04because you can't handle the fact that I'm the favourite.
0:26:04 > 0:26:05I'll miss you too.
0:26:08 > 0:26:10Bye, sis.
0:26:10 > 0:26:13Sis? I'm a sister, am I? I've always wanted a sister.
0:26:13 > 0:26:15Anything but a brother.
0:26:15 > 0:26:17Any last words, Gran?
0:26:17 > 0:26:20- Arthur!- Dorothy.
0:26:20 > 0:26:22And what have you come round for?
0:26:22 > 0:26:24To see if you missed me?
0:26:24 > 0:26:26Not that I noticed.
0:26:26 > 0:26:27Ah, young love.
0:26:30 > 0:26:33Mam? Are you holding it in? Trying to be strong?
0:26:36 > 0:26:41Mam, I love you. If we could make it work, we'd stay here.
0:26:41 > 0:26:44He's right, Pauline, I was so frightened about coming here
0:26:44 > 0:26:48and meeting you all and...now I'm frightened about leaving.
0:26:48 > 0:26:50Wherever yous are, whenever you're sad,
0:26:50 > 0:26:53there's always a cuddle waiting here for yous.
0:26:53 > 0:26:55And about 200 leftover cupcakes!
0:26:56 > 0:26:59By the way, I knitted this for AJ.
0:26:59 > 0:27:03Oh, Pauline, it's gorgeous. Thank you so much.
0:27:03 > 0:27:05What's with the little pocket on the back?
0:27:05 > 0:27:08Mind, that's for when you've got the baby at customs.
0:27:08 > 0:27:12You can stick all your passports and visas in the pocket.
0:27:12 > 0:27:14Now, you'll ring us once you've checked in?
0:27:14 > 0:27:19- And when you get to the departure gate?- Yeah.
0:27:19 > 0:27:20And when you land?
0:27:20 > 0:27:22She's not very good at saying goodbyes.
0:27:22 > 0:27:25There's one I've been practising for years.
0:27:25 > 0:27:27- Bye, Mam.- See you, darling.
0:27:29 > 0:27:31You all set?
0:27:31 > 0:27:33Aye. I'm just scared, like.
0:27:33 > 0:27:36Well, if you didn't love them, you wouldn't be scared.
0:27:36 > 0:27:37I mean, look at your sister.
0:27:37 > 0:27:39I love her, but she terrifies me.
0:27:51 > 0:27:55TAXI ENGINE STARTS UP
0:28:03 > 0:28:05Mam. Plane tickets?
0:28:10 > 0:28:12You cannit blame us for trying.
0:28:15 > 0:28:17# When you get to where you wanna go
0:28:17 > 0:28:20# And you know the things You wanna know
0:28:20 > 0:28:25# You're smiling
0:28:27 > 0:28:29# When you've said what you wanna say
0:28:29 > 0:28:33# And you know the way You wanna play it
0:28:33 > 0:28:41# You'll be so high you'll be flying
0:28:41 > 0:28:43# I was her
0:28:43 > 0:28:46# She was me
0:28:46 > 0:28:48# And if there's somebody
0:28:48 > 0:28:51# Calling me on
0:28:51 > 0:28:56# She's the one. #