0:00:05 > 0:00:10THIS PROGRAMME CONTAINS ADULT HUMOUR.
0:00:22 > 0:00:26Hi. Boyd Clack here with another stroll down memory lane.
0:00:26 > 0:00:31Coming up, we see Charlie and Hoffman in action.
0:00:31 > 0:00:35The boys out on the razz in the big city.
0:00:38 > 0:00:41And a sheep falling from the sky.
0:00:41 > 0:00:45- If I could have one wish, it would be to get my leg over.- Me an' all!
0:00:45 > 0:00:50Each episode has a title and the title is always taken from a film,
0:00:50 > 0:00:52quite popular films.
0:00:52 > 0:00:56This was an idea that Kirsten came up with in the first series.
0:00:56 > 0:01:01I find it interesting because it gives a sort of an idea...
0:01:02 > 0:01:05..a nuance of what it's about.
0:01:05 > 0:01:08It doesn't necessarily follow the film's story,
0:01:08 > 0:01:12but it is a reinterpretation of the idea of the title, quite often.
0:01:12 > 0:01:17Once in a blue moon, we actually use the storyline of the film itself.
0:01:17 > 0:01:20Fate have presented us with the opportunity
0:01:20 > 0:01:22to go down in criminal history
0:01:22 > 0:01:25as the gang who lifted Tom Jones' dickie.
0:01:33 > 0:01:36Pull me up, Hoff! I've got it!
0:01:36 > 0:01:38Right, Fage. Pull him up, byt.
0:01:43 > 0:01:48- It's the back, mun. It's gone! - What the bloody hell you doing?!
0:01:48 > 0:01:50Because of Ben's unavailability,
0:01:50 > 0:01:54we made the decision, which is not without precedent in TV,
0:01:54 > 0:01:58instead of introducing a new character, you change the actor.
0:01:58 > 0:02:02I'm bored, I am. What's that book you're reading, Hoff?
0:02:04 > 0:02:06Astral Projection.
0:02:06 > 0:02:09That's another word for diarrhoea, innit?
0:02:09 > 0:02:12No! It's about ghosts and that. I found it in a skip.
0:02:12 > 0:02:16And it's actually quite galling for actors to realise
0:02:16 > 0:02:17some of the public don't notice.
0:02:17 > 0:02:20You seldom get any letters.
0:02:20 > 0:02:24You might get a letter saying, "Has he lost weight?" or something,
0:02:24 > 0:02:25but they seldom twig.
0:02:25 > 0:02:29This happened for years in narrative comedy where leads have changed.
0:02:29 > 0:02:34My Mam used to sing to me when she was getting to ready to go to work.
0:02:34 > 0:02:36She'd work in the rain?
0:02:36 > 0:02:39Aye. Rain's no hindrance to the sex trade.
0:02:39 > 0:02:42It do make some men horny, my Mam said.
0:02:42 > 0:02:45She'd wear wellies and everything.
0:02:45 > 0:02:49Stepping into an established programme,
0:02:49 > 0:02:51playing an established character,
0:02:51 > 0:02:53was very daunting at first.
0:02:53 > 0:02:58I was aware of how popular the programme was
0:02:58 > 0:03:03and I lived in London for the first couple of years when it came out,
0:03:03 > 0:03:05so I missed it but I remember coming back home
0:03:05 > 0:03:09and everyone in my family raving about High Hopes.
0:03:09 > 0:03:12It was difficult. It was really difficult.
0:03:12 > 0:03:16I watched an episode and I expected me to come on.
0:03:16 > 0:03:18What we'd managed to build
0:03:18 > 0:03:22and why, I think, the series was so successful
0:03:22 > 0:03:24is that we built the family.
0:03:24 > 0:03:26We all loved each other,
0:03:26 > 0:03:29got on each other's nerves, and we had that family unit.
0:03:29 > 0:03:33So to be taken out of it was... You know, it was difficult.
0:03:33 > 0:03:37And obviously, I see Margaret a lot. She is...like my gran, you know.
0:03:37 > 0:03:40I speak to her as much as I can on the phone.
0:03:40 > 0:03:44So to be out of that was... It was hard at first.
0:03:44 > 0:03:48But you know, it was circumstances and it wasn't meant to be.
0:03:48 > 0:03:51But it's a massive part of my life
0:03:51 > 0:03:55and I always say about playing Charlie and what an honour it was
0:03:55 > 0:04:01and a great five years, and to create something and see it grow.
0:04:01 > 0:04:04We had something very, very special.
0:04:04 > 0:04:08It was a privilege to come into work every day and laugh.
0:04:08 > 0:04:13Did you use the Bosnian washing up liquid to get the cocoa off?
0:04:13 > 0:04:16Sorry, Fage. We was gonna swap them back in the morning.
0:04:16 > 0:04:19Can't even take it back and get the reward now.
0:04:19 > 0:04:22No. It's beyond repair.
0:04:22 > 0:04:24It doesn't matter.
0:04:24 > 0:04:29A loving family have been reunited. That's reward enough.
0:04:30 > 0:04:33Aye, Mam's right there.
0:04:33 > 0:04:35Don't you worry, boys.
0:04:35 > 0:04:39The truth is, in this business you learn more from failure than success.
0:04:39 > 0:04:43It's repeated failure that's got me where I am today.
0:04:44 > 0:04:48It was a scary thing. It was quite short notice.
0:04:48 > 0:04:51But maybe in reflection, that was good
0:04:51 > 0:04:55because there wasn't too much time to think or stress about it,
0:04:55 > 0:04:57or wind myself up.
0:04:57 > 0:05:01It was...flying by the seat of your pants, kind of thing! Just do it!
0:05:01 > 0:05:06How did your mother get into prostitution in the first place?
0:05:06 > 0:05:08Was she abandoned penniless by a brutal husband?
0:05:08 > 0:05:11No. She just slipped into it.
0:05:11 > 0:05:16- She studied it for a bit in college. - There's a college for prostitutes?
0:05:16 > 0:05:20One would imagine she would have learned her trade on the job.
0:05:20 > 0:05:25I remember the day she sat her final exams. I had to wait in a cafe.
0:05:25 > 0:05:29She had practical in the morning and oral in the afternoon.
0:05:29 > 0:05:33It was great. He brought something very new and different to Charlie.
0:05:36 > 0:05:38Hey. Look, Hoff.
0:05:38 > 0:05:40Oh, aye.
0:05:46 > 0:05:47I'll jump over.
0:05:47 > 0:05:49Charl...
0:06:03 > 0:06:06And then sort of acting the other side
0:06:06 > 0:06:10of something so new and different is a new challenge.
0:06:10 > 0:06:18It sort of changed the dynamic of the relationship a little bit.
0:06:23 > 0:06:28- Very slick, brother. - Aye. Textbook bit of thieving.
0:06:28 > 0:06:30I remember the first day in the studio,
0:06:30 > 0:06:32having never done that before.
0:06:32 > 0:06:34I remember being really worried, thinking,
0:06:34 > 0:06:37"How am I going to get received?"
0:06:37 > 0:06:41I've seen other programmes like Neighbours when people get replaced
0:06:41 > 0:06:44and I've gone "Urgh." I don't like that myself.
0:06:44 > 0:06:45So I was worried about that.
0:06:45 > 0:06:49But I had so much fun doing it and the audience responded really well.
0:06:49 > 0:06:55After that first day in the studio I became really comfortable with it.
0:06:55 > 0:07:01By the second series, all those thoughts had gone away by then.
0:07:02 > 0:07:03Painting's alright.
0:07:03 > 0:07:07Like they say, if you can piss you can paint.
0:07:08 > 0:07:10£80 each, byt!
0:07:10 > 0:07:11I know.
0:07:11 > 0:07:14That's triple what we'd earn entrepreneuring in a week!
0:07:14 > 0:07:19It's more than triple! It's...fourple.
0:07:20 > 0:07:24The problem is, it's more or less honest work innit?
0:07:25 > 0:07:27Aye. That's what worries me.
0:07:27 > 0:07:30What are people going to think?
0:07:30 > 0:07:32What's Fage and his mam going to think?
0:07:32 > 0:07:36- They'd think we'd let them down. - We'd be shunned by society, Hoff.
0:07:36 > 0:07:39I'm surprised at you. Surprised and disappointed.
0:07:40 > 0:07:44You'd better pack up or friends as we are, I'll be forced to nick you.
0:07:44 > 0:07:45The thing is...
0:07:45 > 0:07:49Me and Charlie have been hired by the bloke to do the painting.
0:07:49 > 0:07:51He's gone on holiday.
0:07:51 > 0:07:52He's paying us, like.
0:07:52 > 0:07:53Paying you?
0:07:53 > 0:07:55Yeah.
0:07:56 > 0:07:57£80 each.
0:07:57 > 0:08:00Ah. This is worse than I thought.
0:08:01 > 0:08:03Honest work is a mug's game, lads!
0:08:03 > 0:08:06It won't happen again, Sergeant Ball. Honest.
0:08:08 > 0:08:10Well, if it's just the once.
0:08:10 > 0:08:12It's only for four days.
0:08:12 > 0:08:15You won't tell Fagin, will you?
0:08:16 > 0:08:18I'll let it go. This time.
0:08:19 > 0:08:23But you lads want to seriously consider your actions in future.
0:08:23 > 0:08:25You've got your good names to think of
0:08:25 > 0:08:28and the good name of the Hepplewhite family too.
0:08:28 > 0:08:30Right, Sergeant Ball. Sorry.
0:08:31 > 0:08:33I think Sergeant Ball...
0:08:35 > 0:08:37..is a very, very confident man.
0:08:37 > 0:08:41I don't think that he would demean himself
0:08:41 > 0:08:43to be in competition with others for a job.
0:08:43 > 0:08:45I think he's quite happy where he is.
0:08:45 > 0:08:49He gets a lot of money, by various nefarious means in the main.
0:08:49 > 0:08:52And I don't think Claude would be capable of getting another job.
0:08:52 > 0:08:58If he did he'd end up on litter duty in the Isle of White or something!
0:08:58 > 0:09:02So what was it like with that policewoman, Claude?
0:09:02 > 0:09:03A real woman, like?
0:09:03 > 0:09:06Oh yes. Tell us, Claude. Did you do it right?
0:09:08 > 0:09:10Well I don't know, Mrs Hepplewhite.
0:09:10 > 0:09:12It was all over so fast.
0:09:12 > 0:09:15One minute she was clutching my torch and the next...
0:09:15 > 0:09:18So you didn't actually insert Challenger 2, then?
0:09:20 > 0:09:22I don't think so, no.
0:09:22 > 0:09:24But she did kiss me.
0:09:24 > 0:09:28But I've never kissed anyone with teeth before.
0:09:29 > 0:09:31I felt a bit sick, I did.
0:09:31 > 0:09:35All in all, I'll stick to what I know in future.
0:09:35 > 0:09:37I liked the show, it was good.
0:09:37 > 0:09:39Who's your favourite character?
0:09:39 > 0:09:42It's a cross between the Charlie and Hoff characters.
0:09:42 > 0:09:43They play against each other.
0:09:43 > 0:09:46No one in my family has ever worked.
0:09:46 > 0:09:49Oh. Except my Uncle Neville. He ran away to join a circus.
0:09:49 > 0:09:52He was a human cannonball for nearly a year.
0:09:52 > 0:09:53What happened then?
0:09:53 > 0:09:54They fired him.
0:09:55 > 0:09:57I like the chemistry they have.
0:09:57 > 0:10:01And Mrs Hepplewhite. She's the classic old granny.
0:10:01 > 0:10:03You don't think it might be them, do you?
0:10:03 > 0:10:05Them?
0:10:05 > 0:10:06Aliens.
0:10:07 > 0:10:09They might not be like us.
0:10:09 > 0:10:13They might be like big octopuses!
0:10:14 > 0:10:16Perhaps that's why the knocking is so quiet.
0:10:16 > 0:10:20They may be tapping on the door with their testicles.
0:10:22 > 0:10:25The last thing I wanted to do was to try and copy Ben.
0:10:25 > 0:10:30I'm not Ben. I wasn't interested in coming at it from that angle.
0:10:32 > 0:10:34What's funny about him and what's great about it
0:10:34 > 0:10:36is in the writing anyway.
0:10:36 > 0:10:40So I was just playing off the rhythms in the writing
0:10:40 > 0:10:42and generally the way it's written.
0:10:42 > 0:10:48I think you can't go far wrong if you keep that in mind.
0:10:48 > 0:10:50It's a vendetta, man.
0:10:50 > 0:10:54No, Fage. A vendetta is a sort of ice cream, byt.
0:10:57 > 0:10:59Aye, alright.
0:11:01 > 0:11:05You'd have to ask other people about me,
0:11:05 > 0:11:08but I'm not aware of too many egos.
0:11:08 > 0:11:12We enjoy doing it. It's a good job.
0:11:12 > 0:11:17Two fit young lads like you up a ladder with no criminal intent?
0:11:18 > 0:11:19Sorry, Fage.
0:11:19 > 0:11:22He interrupted us half-inching the stuff
0:11:22 > 0:11:25and then he offered us £80 each and it's easy work.
0:11:25 > 0:11:29As an actor you always want to find new challenges and things like that.
0:11:29 > 0:11:31Not that you were a massive challenge!
0:11:32 > 0:11:35We were sort of drawn into it, Fage.
0:11:35 > 0:11:37I understand what you're saying, boys.
0:11:37 > 0:11:39It's the principle, innit?
0:11:39 > 0:11:43What would happen to society if everyone got a job?
0:11:43 > 0:11:44Sorry, Fage.
0:11:44 > 0:11:48Work is a curse, myn. It's a surrender to mediocrity.
0:11:48 > 0:11:50I did have a great experience.
0:11:50 > 0:11:53I was learning my lines one day, sitting in a pub.
0:11:53 > 0:11:57This woman sat down alongside me with her husband.
0:11:57 > 0:11:59They said they very much enjoyed High Hopes.
0:12:01 > 0:12:03He said, "What's it like doing it?"
0:12:03 > 0:12:06I said, "It's nice to make people smile."
0:12:06 > 0:12:08His wife, who hadn't yet said anything, said,
0:12:08 > 0:12:10"I do that for a living as well."
0:12:10 > 0:12:13I said, "What do you do?", she said "I make false teeth!"
0:12:13 > 0:12:15Totally true!
0:12:15 > 0:12:18There'll never be another Bonnie Tyler.
0:12:18 > 0:12:23She kept me rational when I was in the slammer.
0:12:23 > 0:12:27I'd be lying in my bunk in the long, hot summer afternoon
0:12:27 > 0:12:29in just my underpants, like.
0:12:29 > 0:12:34Listening to her singing 'Lost in France' over and over on my walkman.
0:12:34 > 0:12:37And I'd imagine she was there.
0:12:37 > 0:12:41I'd hop off my bunk, quiet like.
0:12:42 > 0:12:44And I'd creep up behind her.
0:12:45 > 0:12:47- And I'd... I'd... - Aye?
0:12:49 > 0:12:52Ah. I was getting quite carried away there for a minute.
0:12:52 > 0:12:53Aye, me and all!
0:12:53 > 0:12:57Richard wrote to her dozens of times when he came out of prison.
0:12:57 > 0:13:00Telling her how he felt about her, asking if they could meet.
0:13:00 > 0:13:01Did she write back?
0:13:01 > 0:13:04No. Her lawyers did, though.
0:13:04 > 0:13:09Apart from being cured of his agoraphobia and claustrophobia,
0:13:09 > 0:13:12I would think a lot of money and a woman.
0:13:12 > 0:13:15And... You never married?
0:13:15 > 0:13:18No, no. I've been saving myself.
0:13:19 > 0:13:21Interest free, like.
0:13:22 > 0:13:25I've had no luck in romance roulette, either.
0:13:25 > 0:13:28But, but you're beautiful!
0:13:28 > 0:13:33You must have had blokes hanging round you like flies round shi..!
0:13:36 > 0:13:39All your life!
0:13:39 > 0:13:42That's not what a girl wants!
0:13:42 > 0:13:45She wants one decent bloke. Just one.
0:13:45 > 0:13:47And I've never found him.
0:13:48 > 0:13:51I'll tell you, Richard. I'm a gypsy.
0:13:51 > 0:13:54I've been roaming all my life.
0:13:54 > 0:13:56And to have a home in just one place.
0:13:56 > 0:13:58There's a lot to be said for it.
0:14:00 > 0:14:01Would you like a Spam sandwich?
0:14:03 > 0:14:05You know, I think I would.
0:14:05 > 0:14:08You old dog, Fage!
0:14:08 > 0:14:11Aye. Woof woof, innit?
0:14:11 > 0:14:13Shush, boys! Esmeralda will be down in a minute!
0:14:14 > 0:14:16Ooh! Esmeralda!
0:14:17 > 0:14:19Fancy a woman having a bath in our bath!
0:14:19 > 0:14:23Aye. It's a wonderful thought, innit?
0:14:23 > 0:14:25Hey, what's she like, Fage?
0:14:25 > 0:14:27Very nice!
0:14:27 > 0:14:29He fancies her, Hoff!
0:14:29 > 0:14:31You can tell, his face has gone red!
0:14:31 > 0:14:33No, no, no. She's lovely, she is!
0:14:33 > 0:14:36Ask her if she'd like to see your loofah, byt!
0:14:38 > 0:14:40I don't think he quite knew what to do.
0:14:40 > 0:14:43He'd forgotten how. But I think it all came back.
0:14:44 > 0:14:47You know I told you nothing interesting happened?
0:14:47 > 0:14:49- When you was in hospital? - Yes, son?
0:14:49 > 0:14:52Well, I wasn't strictly telling the truth.
0:14:52 > 0:14:54Something interesting did happen.
0:14:56 > 0:14:59I'm going to be a dad!
0:15:01 > 0:15:03One of the odd things is people say,
0:15:03 > 0:15:06"You don't sound like him." I say, "Thank God for that!"
0:15:06 > 0:15:08He's got a very peculiar voice.
0:15:08 > 0:15:10Who's this?
0:15:10 > 0:15:12It's Kurt Stable, Richard!
0:15:12 > 0:15:14The boys met him in a public toilet!
0:15:14 > 0:15:17He's a world famous drummer!
0:15:17 > 0:15:20Aye. Well his drumming days are over!
0:15:21 > 0:15:22What?
0:15:22 > 0:15:23He's dead, boys.
0:15:24 > 0:15:26Dead as a dildo!
0:15:27 > 0:15:29Also, people think he's thick.
0:15:29 > 0:15:32Which he may be, but... Who knows?
0:15:32 > 0:15:35They tend to associate you very much with the character.
0:15:35 > 0:15:39But they do love it. I mean, it's constant love that you get from it.
0:15:39 > 0:15:42People come up to you with huge smiles, it's very gratifying.
0:15:42 > 0:15:47I've no idea why she's a heroine, but she's incredibly popular.
0:15:47 > 0:15:50The word that I get from everybody that I meet...
0:15:50 > 0:15:54I get strange women on the street that go, "Oh, come here!"
0:15:54 > 0:15:56and they give me a hug!
0:15:56 > 0:15:57They love it!
0:15:57 > 0:15:59It isn't 'like' or 'enjoy'.
0:15:59 > 0:16:02'Love' is the word that comes every time.
0:16:02 > 0:16:05And the messages I get from the men...
0:16:05 > 0:16:08"Can you give me your autograph? It's for my husband."
0:16:08 > 0:16:12Oh. And somebody else, "Can you give me your... It's for my husband."
0:16:13 > 0:16:16There's some strange men around.
0:16:16 > 0:16:18What we gonna do, Mam?
0:16:18 > 0:16:20Maybe you should call Sergeant Ball.
0:16:20 > 0:16:23No! If this got out our name would be mud!
0:16:23 > 0:16:25Getting local girls into trouble
0:16:25 > 0:16:27is the work of ne'er-do-well's and milkmen!
0:16:27 > 0:16:30Not respectable boys like you!
0:16:30 > 0:16:32You sure it's neither of you?
0:16:32 > 0:16:35Well, you can never be totally sure, can you?
0:16:36 > 0:16:39Well, she's very pretty!
0:16:39 > 0:16:41Who's a lovely girl, then?
0:16:41 > 0:16:45Hoffman had a baby sister. You know a bit about them, don't you Hoff?
0:16:45 > 0:16:48Aye. Aye, a bit.
0:16:48 > 0:16:50BABY CRIES
0:16:50 > 0:16:52What the hell's this, now?
0:16:52 > 0:16:53She's hungry!
0:16:54 > 0:16:55Was there any milk with her?
0:16:55 > 0:16:59No. Just some bottles, spare clothes and nappies.
0:16:59 > 0:17:02They're all bottle fed, these days.
0:17:02 > 0:17:04Breast is best.
0:17:04 > 0:17:07You won't get any argument here, Mrs Hepplewhite!
0:17:08 > 0:17:12Did you breastfeed Fage, Mrs Hepplewhite?
0:17:12 > 0:17:14No, it wasn't possible.
0:17:14 > 0:17:15Why not?
0:17:16 > 0:17:18He was born with teeth.
0:17:20 > 0:17:22Good God!
0:17:22 > 0:17:26Yes. It was very rare, the doctor said.
0:17:26 > 0:17:27And the dentist.
0:17:27 > 0:17:31A freak occurrence. Unnatural, they said it was. Grotesque.
0:17:31 > 0:17:33Alright, alright Mam!
0:17:33 > 0:17:34We got the picture!
0:17:34 > 0:17:36Favourite episodes.
0:17:40 > 0:17:44The one that sticks in my mind is the Dean Tantrum episode.
0:17:44 > 0:17:45Alright, Charl?
0:17:45 > 0:17:47I've come to see Mr Hepplewhite.
0:17:48 > 0:17:50I got that thing you wanted, Mr Hepplewhite.
0:17:50 > 0:17:51Oh, right. Thanks, byt.
0:17:51 > 0:17:53- Here's the money. - Ta.
0:17:53 > 0:17:56There you go, Mr Hepplewhite. Nice doing business with you.
0:17:57 > 0:18:03I've never heard, in a studio, a laugh that loud
0:18:03 > 0:18:05as when Mam comes out and says...
0:18:05 > 0:18:08Everyone's tip-toeing around Dean Tantrum
0:18:08 > 0:18:09because he stinks and is psycho.
0:18:10 > 0:18:12You alright?
0:18:12 > 0:18:13Oh. Aye.
0:18:13 > 0:18:14What's the matter?
0:18:14 > 0:18:16Nothing!
0:18:16 > 0:18:19Lack of vitamins! He do always swoon, like.
0:18:19 > 0:18:22Here we are! Nice cup of tea!
0:18:22 > 0:18:23Hello Dean, love.
0:18:24 > 0:18:26What's that terrible smell?
0:18:28 > 0:18:32It's disgusting! Like a rat has died and rotted away!
0:18:32 > 0:18:34You can smell it, can't you Richard?
0:18:34 > 0:18:38No, no! I can't smell nothing, Mam!
0:18:38 > 0:18:39- Nor me!- Nor me!
0:18:39 > 0:18:43And Mam just walks out, in the way that only Maggie John can,
0:18:43 > 0:18:45that sweet voice, and say...
0:18:46 > 0:18:51Oh my God, Dean, love. You smell like a bucket of shit.
0:18:53 > 0:18:55I could smell you from over there.
0:18:55 > 0:19:02I've never heard anywhere near... I've done 10 series in the studio.
0:19:02 > 0:19:04It was like a wall of noise.
0:19:06 > 0:19:10As a matter of fact, I could smell you from the kitchen!
0:19:10 > 0:19:13I thought they were burning something outside!
0:19:14 > 0:19:18You take a tip from me, love. You have a bath every day.
0:19:18 > 0:19:21And put stuff on to stop you smelling!
0:19:21 > 0:19:23Sphinx, that's what they use.
0:19:25 > 0:19:28She's going senile, she is.
0:19:28 > 0:19:32We've seen it coming for years but we've tried to keep it secret.
0:19:32 > 0:19:34Right.
0:19:34 > 0:19:38Very many. Mostly on location, I guess, the scenes that stick out.
0:19:39 > 0:19:45Being at the top of a mountain with a helicopter circling overhead,
0:19:45 > 0:19:46in the pissing rain.
0:19:48 > 0:19:50At about two o'clock in the morning,
0:19:50 > 0:19:53waiting for a sheep to be dropped on someone's head.
0:19:57 > 0:20:00That sort of sums up the series, I think.
0:20:00 > 0:20:01The weirdness of it.
0:20:03 > 0:20:05But still, it was a good laugh even then.
0:20:05 > 0:20:08We were having fun even though it was muddy and boggy.
0:20:08 > 0:20:11It's just been... Fun.
0:20:11 > 0:20:15It's been such a gas over the last six years.
0:20:15 > 0:20:16Hopefully it will continue to be so.
0:20:19 > 0:20:21Sergeant Ball. A good governor, is he?
0:20:21 > 0:20:22Oh, the best.
0:20:22 > 0:20:25As hard as a rhinoceros' gall stone.
0:20:26 > 0:20:28He don't take no nonsense, either.
0:20:29 > 0:20:32Punch first, and forget about the questions. That's his motto.
0:20:33 > 0:20:36He likes beating people senseless in public urinals.
0:20:36 > 0:20:37Really?
0:20:37 > 0:20:40I don't think Claude's interested in upholding the law.
0:20:40 > 0:20:43He'll do whatever Sergeant Ball says, basically.
0:20:44 > 0:20:47If Sergeant Ball told him to murder someone, he probably would,
0:20:47 > 0:20:50because it's probably for the best.
0:20:50 > 0:20:54I think the law aspect of it is he gets to put on a costume every day.
0:20:54 > 0:20:58He enjoys that and he hangs out with his mates.
0:20:59 > 0:21:01If I had a little sideline,
0:21:01 > 0:21:04you know, where I could pick up a couple of quid on the side,
0:21:04 > 0:21:06he'd be alright with that?
0:21:07 > 0:21:08As long as he got his cut.
0:21:10 > 0:21:12So yeah, he was good fun.
0:21:12 > 0:21:15And just being wilfully stupid, that's always fun to play.
0:21:15 > 0:21:18And I got to fall over a few times, which I enjoy.
0:21:18 > 0:21:21- After him, Claude! - Right, Serge!
0:21:23 > 0:21:26Sergeant Ball doesn't see himself as putting up with Claude.
0:21:26 > 0:21:30I think, in a way, Sergeant Ball sees himself as a carer.
0:21:30 > 0:21:35Serge. She wants to come to my private flat, where I live.
0:21:35 > 0:21:38You're in there, Claude. Told you didn't I?
0:21:39 > 0:21:40What'll I do, Sarge?
0:21:40 > 0:21:43Just go with the flow, you'll be alright.
0:21:43 > 0:21:47Let her think you're a bit of a lad. Into this, into that.
0:21:47 > 0:21:49It'll do the trick, believe me.
0:21:49 > 0:21:51Right.
0:21:52 > 0:21:54I'm afraid, I am, Sarge.
0:21:55 > 0:21:58That's half the fun, Claude. It's half the fun.
0:21:58 > 0:22:02I think Sergeant Ball is aware that it takes all types in this world.
0:22:02 > 0:22:06And all types of people deserve to do different things.
0:22:06 > 0:22:11All policemen can't go around in the way that we imagine.
0:22:11 > 0:22:13There are some people in the police force...
0:22:13 > 0:22:15People are inadequate in this world.
0:22:15 > 0:22:20I think Ball is very, very gentle and understanding of people's inadequacy.
0:22:23 > 0:22:26Oh... It came free with Dominant Doris.
0:22:29 > 0:22:31I only used it the once, I sprained my wrist.
0:22:31 > 0:22:35I like some lines sometimes when Claude and Ball are together.
0:22:35 > 0:22:36They're going to get a criminal.
0:22:36 > 0:22:40Ball says, "If there's any nonsense, leave it to me."
0:22:44 > 0:22:46Claude says, "Right, Sarge."
0:22:46 > 0:22:50He says, "Right, Sarge." As though he could do anything anyway!
0:22:51 > 0:22:52What's wrong, Sarge?
0:22:52 > 0:22:54Do not call me Sarge.
0:22:54 > 0:22:56'Sarge' is TV cop talk. I detest it.
0:22:56 > 0:22:58Do you understand?
0:22:58 > 0:22:59Yes.
0:22:59 > 0:23:01Sorry, Sarge.
0:23:02 > 0:23:04Maggie John is great.
0:23:04 > 0:23:07She's just fantastic in it.
0:23:09 > 0:23:14She can make a line that seems terrible and incredibly rude
0:23:14 > 0:23:17sound so innocent and lovely.
0:23:17 > 0:23:19I think she's really sweet, as well.
0:23:19 > 0:23:22I think she's the superstar of the program, really.
0:23:22 > 0:23:25I had a brief affair with a great gentleman once.
0:23:25 > 0:23:30He gave me a little statue of a werewolf standing on his hind legs
0:23:30 > 0:23:32with an enormous erection.
0:23:32 > 0:23:35I've still got it in my bedroom.
0:23:35 > 0:23:38I keep my rings on it.
0:23:39 > 0:23:41Mam, myn!
0:23:41 > 0:23:45I would think, over the years... Shocking but not surprising.
0:23:45 > 0:23:50Or surprising but not shocking. A combination of both.
0:23:50 > 0:23:53Young girls today, they're too fussy, they are!
0:23:53 > 0:23:56I never turned any man down.
0:23:56 > 0:23:59Not as long as he was clean and tidy.
0:23:59 > 0:24:01Alright, Mam.
0:24:01 > 0:24:04I think he's past being shocked, but he is totally surprised
0:24:04 > 0:24:08by the cartwheels with nae knickers, and so on, that she gets up to.
0:24:09 > 0:24:10The ex-lovers who appear.
0:24:10 > 0:24:13What I enjoyed about Hoffman...
0:24:13 > 0:24:17When you're playing someone with such a simple view of life,
0:24:17 > 0:24:21they're either happy or sad. They're either full or empty.
0:24:53 > 0:24:56Hey, look at this! The circus is in town!
0:24:56 > 0:24:59- We don't want no trouble, boys. - No.
0:24:59 > 0:25:01I don't like clowns.
0:25:01 > 0:25:04They reverberate at a deep level of my psyche.
0:25:05 > 0:25:09OK, Stabber. You keep your psychological analysis to yourself.
0:25:09 > 0:25:12All I'm interested in is giving someone a kicking!
0:25:12 > 0:25:16We're only down for the night. We're cowards, we are.
0:25:16 > 0:25:20Valleys boys! There's nothing I likes more than kicking valleys boys!
0:25:20 > 0:25:21I once...
0:25:27 > 0:25:31I've never been so cold in my life, filming the jacuzzi scene!
0:25:31 > 0:25:34I think that's testament to our acting, mind.
0:25:34 > 0:25:37We got in there as if, "Oh! It's a bit toasty!"
0:25:37 > 0:25:38It was freezing!
0:25:42 > 0:25:44The girls were much better with it.
0:25:44 > 0:25:47- But women have... - We were in bits, weren't we?
0:25:53 > 0:25:56- I don't want him to see my winkie. - Get in, then!
0:25:56 > 0:26:00I think girls are harder than men, in that respect.
0:26:02 > 0:26:05They can get into cold seas and rivers far...
0:26:05 > 0:26:08Maybe it's just me! I'm soft!
0:26:12 > 0:26:13So what's going on here?
0:26:13 > 0:26:16- He's not your dad, is he? - No. He's my husband!
0:26:16 > 0:26:18Oh no!
0:26:18 > 0:26:20He's my dad.
0:26:20 > 0:26:23- We didn't know they was your... - Ah, don't fuss yourselves!
0:26:23 > 0:26:26This is Cardiff! I'm a man of the world!
0:26:26 > 0:26:30- Oh. - Aye. Us and all!
0:26:30 > 0:26:35I'll just pop upstairs, slip these clothes off and be back to join you!
0:26:36 > 0:26:38Shall we wait for daddy?
0:26:40 > 0:26:44Don't worry. My husband is like an ambidextrous golfer.
0:26:44 > 0:26:46He swings both ways!
0:26:55 > 0:26:56Ah, shit.
0:27:01 > 0:27:03C'mon, c'mon.
0:27:04 > 0:27:06Oh! Oh!
0:27:10 > 0:27:11Open the door!
0:27:11 > 0:27:14Drive! They're going to kill us!
0:27:21 > 0:27:24Sorry about not taking my underpants off, Hoff.
0:27:24 > 0:27:25That's alright, Charl.
0:27:25 > 0:27:28No. No, it was silly.
0:27:28 > 0:27:31I mean, if you're going to... You know...
0:27:31 > 0:27:32Have rumpy pumpy?
0:27:32 > 0:27:35Aye. You've got to take your underpants off, don't you?
0:27:35 > 0:27:38They wasn't your underpants though, were they?
0:27:38 > 0:27:39They was Fage's.
0:27:40 > 0:27:43I didn't think I'd like wearing another bloke's underpants.
0:27:43 > 0:27:45- But I do. - Aye, me and all.
0:27:45 > 0:27:49They might look a bit naff but they're very comfy.
0:27:49 > 0:27:51Bloody typical! It was beautiful in Cardiff.
0:27:51 > 0:27:54Pissing down as soon as we get back to Cwm Penol!
0:27:57 > 0:28:00Mind you, we nearly blew it, more than once!
0:28:00 > 0:28:03I don't think I'll be spending much time in Cardiff!
0:28:03 > 0:28:05Nor me. Them girls are alright, mind!
0:28:06 > 0:28:09Look, Hoff. The light's on. They've stayed up for us, byt.
0:28:10 > 0:28:12We won't tell them what happened.
0:28:12 > 0:28:15We'll just say we went there and had a few pints, like.
0:28:16 > 0:28:21- Home, sweet home, Hoff. - Aye. Home, sweet home, Charl.
0:28:22 > 0:28:25People say it's not like the valleys, but it is.
0:28:25 > 0:28:26A little more extended,
0:28:26 > 0:28:29but I like the fact they're like people in the valleys.
0:28:29 > 0:28:30I love the show.
0:28:30 > 0:28:34Love it. Watched it for years. Since it started.
0:28:34 > 0:28:36It's so well written, so funny.
0:28:36 > 0:28:39I love the show. I think it's really good.
0:28:39 > 0:28:43It really gives that valleys humour. Typical valleys humour.
0:28:43 > 0:28:46I love all of them but it's got to be Mrs Hepplewhite.
0:28:46 > 0:28:48She's a rare character!
0:28:48 > 0:28:50It's mine and my dad's religion!
0:28:50 > 0:28:52Just sitting with dad. Just watching it.
0:28:52 > 0:28:55I'm so happy that people like the show so much.
0:28:55 > 0:28:57It fills me with joy.
0:29:09 > 0:29:11Subtitles by Red Bee Ltd.