0:00:02 > 0:00:04This programme contains some strong language.
0:00:04 > 0:00:09- Oh, wow. Thank you, Laura. Thanks, Paul.- Yeah, that is lovely.
0:00:09 > 0:00:11- Hm, yeah. - Really nice.- Yeah.
0:00:11 > 0:00:13Thanks.
0:00:13 > 0:00:17It's just a little something to welcome Becky to her new home.
0:00:17 > 0:00:19Yeah. No, that's lovely.
0:00:20 > 0:00:21Steve?
0:00:22 > 0:00:24Yeah?
0:00:25 > 0:00:27It's really nice.
0:00:29 > 0:00:31The chair's real leather.
0:00:33 > 0:00:35So where d'you want it?
0:00:35 > 0:00:36Oh, um...
0:00:36 > 0:00:37Um...
0:00:38 > 0:00:41They'll have it up there, Dad. For maximum impact.
0:00:42 > 0:00:48Um, er, yeah, yeah, absolutely.
0:00:48 > 0:00:51Let's...let's put it up above the bed.
0:00:53 > 0:00:55- Perfect. - Perfect?
0:00:55 > 0:00:57Shall we check on dinner?
0:00:57 > 0:00:59OK.
0:00:59 > 0:01:01Right.
0:01:02 > 0:01:04- Oh, my God, I don't believe it. - Bloody hell.
0:01:04 > 0:01:07It's the ugliest thing I've ever seen.
0:01:38 > 0:01:39That was the last one!
0:01:40 > 0:01:42Oh, was it?
0:01:42 > 0:01:45Right. You've got 20 seconds to go to your stash of Mars bars,
0:01:45 > 0:01:48- wherever it is, and get me one.- 20...
0:01:48 > 0:01:51- I'm not going to do that. - ..19, 18, 17,
0:01:51 > 0:01:5416, 15, 14, 13,
0:01:54 > 0:01:56- 12, 11. - D'you wish you'd started at 10?
0:01:56 > 0:01:59..10, 9, 8, 7,
0:01:59 > 0:02:026, 5, 4, 3,
0:02:02 > 0:02:062, 1. Becky!
0:02:06 > 0:02:08Shut up and eat your banana.
0:02:11 > 0:02:1582p. 82p! Seriously, though.
0:02:15 > 0:02:19- 82p for a banana. - D'you know what?
0:02:19 > 0:02:21- I think you've mentioned it. - I'm going to tell your dad.
0:02:21 > 0:02:24- Don't tell my dad about it.- I've got nothing else to say to him.
0:02:26 > 0:02:28Hm.
0:02:41 > 0:02:43Did you top up the electricity?
0:02:43 > 0:02:45Yeah, of course.
0:02:45 > 0:02:47Oh! Great.
0:02:51 > 0:02:52I think this is going to be nice tonight.
0:02:52 > 0:02:55Your dad's in a good mood. I think we're going to get on today.
0:02:55 > 0:02:58Don't do that while you're talking about my dad.
0:03:01 > 0:03:03DOORBELL RINGS
0:03:05 > 0:03:07JILL: Oh, look at us, king and queen
0:03:07 > 0:03:09- of everything we survey. - Ah!
0:03:09 > 0:03:11You look so handsome, Paul.
0:03:11 > 0:03:15- You are. Very photogenic, Paul. - PAUL: Thank you, Jill.
0:03:15 > 0:03:17What d'you think?
0:03:17 > 0:03:19Oh, that's nice.
0:03:19 > 0:03:21That looks lovely up there.
0:03:22 > 0:03:23Hello.
0:03:23 > 0:03:27- Hello, love. Oh. - Come in! Come in!
0:03:33 > 0:03:34Is that it?
0:03:34 > 0:03:35Yeah.
0:03:37 > 0:03:41It's not even big. Come on in, babe.
0:03:41 > 0:03:44You all right, Mike? Glad you could make it.
0:03:46 > 0:03:47Oh, bollocks.
0:03:47 > 0:03:49I've left the beers in the car.
0:03:53 > 0:03:55That's going to stink.
0:03:56 > 0:04:01So you don't feel it's a little bit like it's taking over the room a bit?
0:04:01 > 0:04:05Yes. That's kind of the point. Honestly, Mum.
0:04:05 > 0:04:06It's the new millennium.
0:04:06 > 0:04:09Take your head out your crack and look around you.
0:04:09 > 0:04:10Laura!
0:04:11 > 0:04:12Peanut?
0:04:12 > 0:04:16Er, no, I'm all right, thanks.
0:04:26 > 0:04:28Oh, where's she got to, eh?
0:04:28 > 0:04:30So what d'you think about me doing your mum?
0:04:32 > 0:04:33Pardon?
0:04:33 > 0:04:36What d'you think about me doing your mum?
0:04:37 > 0:04:42Don't say that, Mike. Be nice. Say you're seeing her.
0:04:42 > 0:04:44Well, I'm not, I'm doing her. What d'you think about it?
0:04:44 > 0:04:46I think it's absolutely fantastic.
0:04:46 > 0:04:48Good. Cos your mum's a good-looking woman.
0:04:48 > 0:04:50Someone's got to fuck her.
0:04:56 > 0:04:58It really is a lovely photograph.
0:04:58 > 0:05:00Oh, wow, the picture looks amazing!
0:05:00 > 0:05:04Thank you, Steve. It's of me and Paul.
0:05:05 > 0:05:07Yeah. My mum's here.
0:05:07 > 0:05:10- She brought us these. - Wow...
0:05:12 > 0:05:13...lovely.
0:05:13 > 0:05:15She's just popped back to the car, so she won't be a minute.
0:05:15 > 0:05:17PAUL: Excellent!
0:05:17 > 0:05:20It'll be marvellous for us all to get together at last, won't it, Jill?
0:05:20 > 0:05:21Yes.
0:05:23 > 0:05:25OK.
0:05:29 > 0:05:32- So, what's on the menu this evening?- Well, Nigel,
0:05:32 > 0:05:37it's a simple but delicious dish I used to make for myself before I met Becky.
0:05:37 > 0:05:39That's promising.
0:05:39 > 0:05:40Dad!
0:05:40 > 0:05:44I'm sure you'll like it once you've tried it.
0:05:44 > 0:05:46I bet you say that to all the boys, don't you?
0:05:46 > 0:05:48Yeah.
0:05:48 > 0:05:50MOBILE PHONE RINGS
0:05:50 > 0:05:51Sorry, everyone.
0:05:53 > 0:05:55Hey, Shell. What?
0:05:57 > 0:06:01Shelly, I thought you said you didn't like that.
0:06:01 > 0:06:02No, I'm the same.
0:06:02 > 0:06:06You can get bored of your vagina, can't you?
0:06:06 > 0:06:07Hm, so how long was it in there for?
0:06:07 > 0:06:10- Oh! - God, Shelly!
0:06:10 > 0:06:13Oh, my eye hurts. D'you ever get that?
0:06:14 > 0:06:17- All right?- Oh, here they are. Come in, come in.
0:06:17 > 0:06:19Everyone, this is, um, Mike.
0:06:19 > 0:06:23He's my mum's...partner?
0:06:23 > 0:06:25- Partner, Mike. - Nice to meet you.
0:06:27 > 0:06:31Ah-ha, and this is my mum, Janet. LAUGHS
0:06:31 > 0:06:37Er, Mum, this big sexy hunk of an oaf is Nigel, Becky's dad.
0:06:37 > 0:06:40- Nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you.
0:06:40 > 0:06:42And, er, and this... this hot little thing...
0:06:42 > 0:06:44no, it's not Becky's sister,
0:06:44 > 0:06:47she's called Jill
0:06:47 > 0:06:49and she's Becky's very own yummy mummy.
0:06:50 > 0:06:52This is my mum.
0:06:52 > 0:06:55- Nice to meet you at last. - Nice to meet you, yes.
0:06:55 > 0:06:57And I'm Paul.
0:07:00 > 0:07:02It's an honour to meet you, Mrs Marshall.
0:07:02 > 0:07:04Yes. Nice to meet you.
0:07:05 > 0:07:07Yeah.
0:07:08 > 0:07:13And, um, I'm going to be his best man when he marries Becky's sister.
0:07:14 > 0:07:16Oh, Janet. Jill and Nigel have raised
0:07:16 > 0:07:18such a wonderful daughter
0:07:18 > 0:07:22and I just feel so lucky to be marrying her.
0:07:23 > 0:07:25OK.
0:07:29 > 0:07:31What a lot of names.
0:07:31 > 0:07:32LAUGHTER
0:07:32 > 0:07:37Shelly, fuck's sake, I'm trying to tell you how amazing Paul is!
0:07:41 > 0:07:46Thank you. Now, what Paul does is, if he doesn't come home one night,
0:07:46 > 0:07:49the next morning, or whenever he turns up,
0:07:49 > 0:07:51he brings me a rose.
0:07:51 > 0:07:53Yeah, a single red rose.
0:07:53 > 0:07:54And he...
0:07:56 > 0:08:00Oh, my God, Shelly, will you please just shut the fuck up?
0:08:00 > 0:08:02Look what Paul and Laura got us.
0:08:03 > 0:08:06- Oh, yeah.- Very nice.
0:08:06 > 0:08:08Nigel put it up.
0:08:08 > 0:08:09Thank you, Nigel.
0:08:09 > 0:08:13We don't have a date for the wedding yet but hopefully next year, Paul?
0:08:13 > 0:08:15If not sooner.
0:08:18 > 0:08:19Isn't it lovely?
0:08:20 > 0:08:22Lovely.
0:08:24 > 0:08:28LAURA: Seriously, I don't test anything on animals.
0:08:28 > 0:08:30I don't know, it's just one of my principles, I suppose.
0:08:30 > 0:08:33Just like I'd never kill anyone.
0:08:35 > 0:08:37D'you think you'd ever kill anyone, Shell?
0:08:41 > 0:08:43OK. But what if there was an intruder
0:08:43 > 0:08:46and he got Kieran and started stabbing him?
0:08:49 > 0:08:51OK. What if he was bumming him?
0:08:53 > 0:08:57I got you this, Becky. It's a housewarming present.
0:08:57 > 0:08:59Oh!
0:09:00 > 0:09:01Thanks, Janet.
0:09:01 > 0:09:03It's just something silly.
0:09:03 > 0:09:05That's very nice of you, Janet.
0:09:05 > 0:09:06Yeah, thanks, Mum.
0:09:07 > 0:09:10It's a football. LAUGHTER
0:09:11 > 0:09:13No, no. It's a pizza.
0:09:16 > 0:09:19Oh. Wow!
0:09:19 > 0:09:21Look, look, it's the same as Steve's!
0:09:23 > 0:09:25Becky was just saying the other day, wasn't she,
0:09:25 > 0:09:26how much she wanted one of those.
0:09:26 > 0:09:28- Was she? - Dad.
0:09:28 > 0:09:29Go on, then, put it on.
0:09:31 > 0:09:32Oh, yeah, put it on, Becky.
0:09:32 > 0:09:34You'll look lovely in that.
0:09:37 > 0:09:38Hey!
0:09:38 > 0:09:40Oh.
0:09:43 > 0:09:46LAURA: Well, you know the problem with you, Shell.
0:09:46 > 0:09:49You use too much carbon.
0:09:49 > 0:09:51You do.
0:09:51 > 0:09:53You know you do.
0:09:56 > 0:09:59You've got a massive carbon footprint, Shell.
0:10:02 > 0:10:03Yes, you have.
0:10:09 > 0:10:11You have, Shell. It's no wonder we haven't got an ozone layer
0:10:11 > 0:10:13with you traipsing about.
0:10:21 > 0:10:24Well...well, the truth is, Shell,
0:10:24 > 0:10:27you go through carbon like it's going out of fashion.
0:10:27 > 0:10:29You're a maniac.
0:10:29 > 0:10:30It's embarrassing.
0:10:32 > 0:10:35Everyone's noticed it. They talk about it behind your back.
0:10:35 > 0:10:39- And is Steve your only child, Janet?- Yeah.
0:10:39 > 0:10:42She did so well with me, she didn't need another.
0:10:42 > 0:10:44I think it was probably the other way round, Steve.
0:10:44 > 0:10:47She thought, "Bloody hell. What's that? Don't want another one of them."
0:10:51 > 0:10:53Nigel's got a very dry sense of humour.
0:10:53 > 0:10:56I don't know what she's talking about.
0:10:58 > 0:11:00He was a nightmare as a kid, wasn't he, Janet?
0:11:00 > 0:11:05- No!- I was. I was hell as a baby. Poor Mum,
0:11:05 > 0:11:07I never slept, I cried every night.
0:11:07 > 0:11:09No change there, then.
0:11:09 > 0:11:10Oh, Nigel.
0:11:14 > 0:11:17And it was a difficult birth. I came out legs first.
0:11:19 > 0:11:22- Did he? - Yeah. Didn't I?
0:11:22 > 0:11:24- You poor thing. - Oh, it was awful, Jill.
0:11:24 > 0:11:26He ripped me to shreds.
0:11:26 > 0:11:28They had to patch me up with bits of me thigh.
0:11:28 > 0:11:31You can still see the damage he did to it.
0:11:33 > 0:11:35It's never been the same since.
0:11:44 > 0:11:46- I need to check on dinner.- Yes.
0:11:49 > 0:11:51Shall we sit down?
0:11:52 > 0:11:54Yeah.
0:11:59 > 0:12:01Anyone want a Guinness? I bought 12.
0:12:01 > 0:12:03LAURA: All right, Shelly.
0:12:05 > 0:12:06Oh, my God!
0:12:06 > 0:12:10She is absolutely amazing.
0:12:12 > 0:12:14I made Shelly cry.
0:12:14 > 0:12:16Oops.
0:12:16 > 0:12:18SNIGGERS
0:12:22 > 0:12:25- "Patch me up"? - So are you going to...?
0:12:25 > 0:12:26- Leave it on. - Really?
0:12:26 > 0:12:30- Just till she's gone. - Oh.
0:12:31 > 0:12:33Shut up.
0:12:38 > 0:12:40So are you going to cut your spaghetti up?
0:12:42 > 0:12:43What does that mean?
0:12:43 > 0:12:45I'm just worried about you eating spaghetti in front of my dad.
0:12:45 > 0:12:50You get it all over your chin and your cheeks. You look brain-damaged.
0:12:50 > 0:12:52- Shut up!- Fuck off.
0:12:52 > 0:12:55What about you when you eat a chicken - you're like a wolf.
0:12:55 > 0:12:58- There's no other way to eat a chicken.- You don't have to eat the bones.
0:13:00 > 0:13:04I'm going to check your cock-sucking mum isn't talking to my dad
0:13:04 > 0:13:06about her messy gash.
0:13:12 > 0:13:13Sorry.
0:13:15 > 0:13:17JILL: So, how long have you two been together?
0:13:17 > 0:13:20MIKE: That's actually a bit of a funny story, actually.
0:13:20 > 0:13:22- It's quite a new thing, isn't it? - Yes.
0:13:22 > 0:13:26- Yeah. - Oh...lovely.
0:13:26 > 0:13:28How nice.
0:13:29 > 0:13:32We've been married 25 years this year, haven't we?
0:13:32 > 0:13:36You get less for murder. LAUGHTER
0:13:37 > 0:13:41Imagine that, Paul. Imagine being married to me for 25 years.
0:13:41 > 0:13:43He'll end up killing me.
0:13:43 > 0:13:46No, I won't.
0:13:47 > 0:13:49And how did you meet?
0:13:49 > 0:13:52Well, they've known each other for a long time, haven't you?
0:13:52 > 0:13:54Cos Steve's very old school friends with Mike's son, Barney.
0:13:54 > 0:13:58- Barney's got a degree in Economics. - It's an A-level.
0:13:59 > 0:14:02So you came together through friendship?
0:14:02 > 0:14:04- Yes. - Exactly.
0:14:04 > 0:14:06- Well. Sort of. - Mike.
0:14:06 > 0:14:07I've always fancied her.
0:14:07 > 0:14:09Then Friday night I'm in Chicken Cottage,
0:14:09 > 0:14:12completely out of the blue, she walks in.
0:14:12 > 0:14:15We got chatting, did a bit of kissing,
0:14:15 > 0:14:18then we went back to mine and did it -
0:14:18 > 0:14:21none of this fussing about with flowers and shit.
0:14:24 > 0:14:26It was more romantic than it sounds.
0:14:30 > 0:14:35Nigel....did you hear about my banana?
0:14:35 > 0:14:38No, I think I missed that news bulletin, Steve.
0:14:39 > 0:14:43That's very good, very good.
0:14:44 > 0:14:46So what it was, was...
0:14:46 > 0:14:48He bought this very average banana.
0:14:48 > 0:14:50Yeah. Me and Becky went over to Azeem's to do the Lottery
0:14:50 > 0:14:53and out of the blue, I fancied a banana.
0:14:53 > 0:14:55- Just a normal banana. - Yeah.
0:14:55 > 0:14:59Thanks. So I went and chose one, took it to the till.
0:14:59 > 0:15:02- Should've got it at the supermarket!- OK, thanks, Mike.
0:15:02 > 0:15:03Um...
0:15:03 > 0:15:06WATER TRICKLING
0:15:10 > 0:15:11Where was I?
0:15:11 > 0:15:14You chose a banana.
0:15:15 > 0:15:18Oh, yeah, yeah. OK, so I chose a banana.
0:15:18 > 0:15:20- They weighed it. - They weighed it
0:15:20 > 0:15:23and I got them to re-weigh it, and, um...
0:15:23 > 0:15:25TRICKLING CONTINUES
0:15:25 > 0:15:28..they still charged me, get this, 82p.
0:15:28 > 0:15:32- For a banana! - For a banana. I'll show you.
0:15:35 > 0:15:37This is what it's like living with him.
0:15:37 > 0:15:40He hasn't shut up about his bloody banana.
0:15:40 > 0:15:44I've seen it, seriously, it's not even big.
0:15:44 > 0:15:47Those corner shops are always expensive, aren't they, Mum?
0:15:47 > 0:15:49Laura...
0:15:50 > 0:15:55I can't find it. But, er, seriously, it's just the size
0:15:55 > 0:15:56- of a basic banana. - 82p!
0:15:56 > 0:15:59Cor, 82p!
0:15:59 > 0:16:02Those corner shops are always expensive, Steve.
0:16:02 > 0:16:04That's why me and Mum are going to join the BNP.
0:16:10 > 0:16:12- Are you? - LAUGHTER
0:16:12 > 0:16:13It's not...
0:16:14 > 0:16:15They just put a leaflet
0:16:15 > 0:16:17- through the door. - They've got policies about it.
0:16:17 > 0:16:20They're proper politicians. They've got a leader and everything.
0:16:20 > 0:16:22- Laura! - Winston Churchill was a member.
0:16:22 > 0:16:23OK, Laura.
0:16:23 > 0:16:25They just say what we all think.
0:16:25 > 0:16:27I'm not thinking that.
0:16:27 > 0:16:31No. Good. LAUGHS
0:16:31 > 0:16:34I don't think any of us are thinking that.
0:16:34 > 0:16:38I don't think Laura's actually saying she'd actually join the BNP.
0:16:38 > 0:16:42Yes, I am, Steve. 82p's a lot of money for a banana.
0:16:44 > 0:16:46Nigel, hungry?
0:16:46 > 0:16:48Yes, Steve. Very.
0:16:48 > 0:16:53Excellent. Pink wafer? Another beer?
0:16:55 > 0:16:58- No, thanks, I'm fine. I'm driving. - Goody-two-shoes, isn't he, Jill?
0:16:58 > 0:17:01Have another beer, you silly old sod.
0:17:01 > 0:17:06I'm driving my family home, Steve. I'm not going to do that drunk.
0:17:10 > 0:17:11OK.
0:17:21 > 0:17:24TOILET FLUSHES
0:17:26 > 0:17:32I'm not joining the BNP. I really was just passing my eyes over their leaflet.
0:17:37 > 0:17:38OK, Jill.
0:17:38 > 0:17:43What you want to do is go down an Asda's or a Tesco's,
0:17:43 > 0:17:48buy, like, ten bananas there, they'll be 20p each or some shit.
0:17:48 > 0:17:52Then you get yourself down a greengrocer's,
0:17:52 > 0:17:53tell 'em you bought these ten bananas off 'em
0:17:53 > 0:17:55and there's something wrong with 'em.
0:17:55 > 0:17:57I put holes in mine with me penknife.
0:17:57 > 0:18:00Use your imagination, make something up.
0:18:00 > 0:18:04So, you demand your money back, threaten them a bit,
0:18:04 > 0:18:08push over some of their stock, eventually they'll give you a refund,
0:18:08 > 0:18:12which by their prices is normally more like...30p for each banana.
0:18:12 > 0:18:17I don't know about this 82p bollocks. So they give you a refund,
0:18:17 > 0:18:20you walk out, you basically done nothing for an hour
0:18:20 > 0:18:24and you've made yourself a quid. Pure profit. That's what you want to do.
0:18:27 > 0:18:29DOORBELL RINGS
0:18:29 > 0:18:32Thanks, Mike. I'll remember that next time I need a pound.
0:18:34 > 0:18:37Yes, interesting idea, Mike.
0:18:37 > 0:18:40Thank you. We'll look into that, won't we?
0:18:41 > 0:18:43- It works for apples too. - Does it?
0:18:45 > 0:18:47D'you think this might be the worst idea you've ever had?
0:18:47 > 0:18:51Yes. Go in there and make conversation.
0:18:51 > 0:18:54Yeah. Like I know how to do that(!)
0:18:56 > 0:18:58Um, not long till dinner.
0:18:59 > 0:19:03- Oh, hello, Dan. - What d'you think?
0:19:03 > 0:19:05Oh, it's nice.
0:19:07 > 0:19:09Did you want something? I'm cooking.
0:19:09 > 0:19:10- Are you? - LAUGHS
0:19:10 > 0:19:12Dan.
0:19:13 > 0:19:17I'm going for a Big Mac with Anita. Thought I'd make the effort.
0:19:22 > 0:19:24I thought she...
0:19:27 > 0:19:28It... You know,
0:19:28 > 0:19:31- I thought you'd split up? - Why?
0:19:33 > 0:19:34She had sex with her uncle?
0:19:34 > 0:19:36Yeah - bloody women.
0:19:43 > 0:19:46It's a nice photo, isn't it?
0:19:46 > 0:19:48ALL: Yes, very nice.
0:19:53 > 0:19:55- Anything else? - Nope.
0:19:58 > 0:20:00Better be off. I'm already an hour late.
0:20:00 > 0:20:02- Oh! - Bye, Steve.
0:20:02 > 0:20:03Bye.
0:20:08 > 0:20:09DOORBELL RINGS
0:20:17 > 0:20:18I forgot to give you this.
0:20:18 > 0:20:20MUSIC PLAYS
0:20:20 > 0:20:23What's this?
0:20:25 > 0:20:26Dan!
0:20:34 > 0:20:36- Dinner's nearly ready. - Great.
0:20:38 > 0:20:41I hope you're all hungry. ALL: Mmm!
0:20:53 > 0:20:55What sort of food do you like, Janet?
0:20:55 > 0:20:58Oh, um, all sorts.
0:20:58 > 0:21:01Yeah. Everything, really.
0:21:01 > 0:21:06- We like a nice Chinese, don't we? - Yeah. Flied lice.
0:21:06 > 0:21:08LAUGHTER
0:21:10 > 0:21:13Yes. Chinese is very nice.
0:21:15 > 0:21:17Paul. Love you long time.
0:21:17 > 0:21:20Paul, Paul. Love you long time.
0:21:20 > 0:21:22BECKY: How long, Steve?
0:21:22 > 0:21:25- Just adding the secret ingredient! - OK.
0:21:25 > 0:21:28LAURA: Or there's the other one, isn't there, the Indian one?
0:21:28 > 0:21:31"My name is Rupinda." LAUGHS
0:21:31 > 0:21:36Paul, Paul, look at me. Would you like some naan bread?
0:21:37 > 0:21:39Or vegetables.
0:21:40 > 0:21:44OK, Laura, that's enough, yeah?
0:21:44 > 0:21:47Well, if you're going to live here, lose the accent. Isn't it, Mum?
0:21:47 > 0:21:50- OK, Laura. - Do you really think that?
0:21:50 > 0:21:52No, she doesn't, do you?
0:21:52 > 0:21:55Oh, lighten up, everyone. I'm just being funny, aren't I, Paul?
0:21:55 > 0:21:58Yeah. It's hilarious.
0:21:58 > 0:22:01Do you have any idea what he actually thinks of you?
0:22:05 > 0:22:07Becky, get the food.
0:22:07 > 0:22:11- Steve! - Just adding the magic twist.
0:22:12 > 0:22:15Laura and Paul are very happy together.
0:22:15 > 0:22:18They have their ups and downs, but they're very much in love.
0:22:18 > 0:22:20Thank you.
0:22:20 > 0:22:22So who was that I saw him with on Sunday, then?
0:22:22 > 0:22:25OK, Mike, let's leave that there.
0:22:25 > 0:22:26Da-dah!
0:22:26 > 0:22:29Dinner is served.
0:22:29 > 0:22:31- Ooh, good! - He's just being silly.
0:22:31 > 0:22:33I hope you're all hungry.
0:22:33 > 0:22:35Yeah.
0:22:40 > 0:22:44Oh, it looks lovely, Steve. Don't it, Mike?
0:22:44 > 0:22:46It's food.
0:22:46 > 0:22:48- What is it? - Um, well...
0:22:50 > 0:22:53..it's spaghetti nuggets. I invented it myself.
0:22:53 > 0:22:57It's, er, spaghetti, mushrooms, chicken nuggets and a dollop of Ragu.
0:22:57 > 0:22:59And there's more of everything if you want it.
0:22:59 > 0:23:01Help yourself to ketchup. Becks.
0:23:04 > 0:23:06What is it?
0:23:09 > 0:23:11Oh, my God!
0:23:11 > 0:23:15You had your piano lesson on Sunday, didn't you?
0:23:15 > 0:23:17Yeah, of course I did.
0:23:17 > 0:23:19Of course he did.
0:23:19 > 0:23:21Here we are.
0:23:21 > 0:23:25Nigel, get that down ya.
0:23:25 > 0:23:26Mmm!
0:23:26 > 0:23:31Laura, bon appetit. And last, but by no means least, Paul.
0:23:31 > 0:23:34OK, now, um,
0:23:34 > 0:23:36er...
0:23:36 > 0:23:40Thanks. OK, well, before we all get stuck in, I know we're all hungry.
0:23:40 > 0:23:42It looks amazing, Steve.
0:23:42 > 0:23:44OK, but I'd just like to propose a toast.
0:23:44 > 0:23:46- Really? - Yes.
0:23:46 > 0:23:50- OK. - Um, OK, well, this is a toast, um,
0:23:50 > 0:23:52to everyone, really.
0:23:52 > 0:23:56Er, so, to Nigel and Jill for letting me have Becky here with me.
0:23:56 > 0:24:01Oh, well...there's always a bed at ours if she needs it.
0:24:03 > 0:24:05OK.
0:24:05 > 0:24:09And, er, for all the help you've given us with the move.
0:24:09 > 0:24:11I don't know what we'd have done without ya.
0:24:11 > 0:24:15Nothing, you'd have done nothing cos you were bloody useless.
0:24:15 > 0:24:16I'm sure he wasn't that bad.
0:24:16 > 0:24:18He really didn't have a clue.
0:24:18 > 0:24:21They still haven't unpacked!
0:24:23 > 0:24:25Yeah, OK,
0:24:25 > 0:24:27and also to my lovely mum,
0:24:27 > 0:24:30er, and...and Mike,
0:24:30 > 0:24:31mustn't forget Mike,
0:24:31 > 0:24:34for everything you've done for me throughout my life.
0:24:34 > 0:24:37No worries, mate. It's a pleasure.
0:24:40 > 0:24:43And to Laura and Paul, who were great.
0:24:53 > 0:24:57Er, good. And finally, of course, thank you to Becky for moving in with me,
0:24:57 > 0:25:00um, though don't ask me why she has.
0:25:00 > 0:25:03LAUGHS
0:25:03 > 0:25:09She has been great, though. I think she even did the washing-up...once!
0:25:09 > 0:25:11LAUGHS
0:25:11 > 0:25:13Um...
0:25:13 > 0:25:18um...but she did top up the, er, the, um, little, um,
0:25:18 > 0:25:22er, electricity stick thing all on her own today.
0:25:22 > 0:25:24Well done, Becky.
0:25:25 > 0:25:27So...
0:25:35 > 0:25:36To everyone.
0:25:37 > 0:25:40- To everyone. - To everyone.
0:25:40 > 0:25:42To everyone.
0:25:45 > 0:25:47OK. Dig in.
0:25:54 > 0:25:58LAURA: Don't you dare come out and speak to me. You lied to me
0:25:58 > 0:25:59- about piano lessons. - Laura...
0:25:59 > 0:26:02Everything all right, Nigel? Not eating your dinner?
0:26:02 > 0:26:04It's not really dinner, is it?
0:26:04 > 0:26:06Dad!
0:26:06 > 0:26:08It's spaghetti nuggets.
0:26:08 > 0:26:11I think it's lovely. It's very original.
0:26:13 > 0:26:15It's a bit pathetic, isn't it?
0:26:16 > 0:26:17- Nigel!- Dad!
0:26:19 > 0:26:21Got anything better I can have, Steve?
0:26:21 > 0:26:24A plate of worms, maybe. Some scabs.
0:26:24 > 0:26:27Oh, eat your dinner, you fucking twat.
0:26:27 > 0:26:29Mike!
0:26:37 > 0:26:40# My heart goes boom-bang-a-bang Boom-bang-a-bang
0:26:40 > 0:26:42# When you are near
0:26:42 > 0:26:45# Boom-bang-a-bang-bang all the time
0:26:45 > 0:26:50# It's such a lovely feeling
0:26:50 > 0:26:54# When I'm in your arms
0:26:54 > 0:26:58# Don't go away I want to stay my whole life through
0:26:58 > 0:27:00# Boom-bang-a-bang-bang Close to you. #