0:00:02 > 0:00:04Becks, it's Julie Taylor. Her little brother's missing.
0:00:04 > 0:00:07- I called him and it went to answerphone.- Oh...
0:00:07 > 0:00:09Be serious, Steve.
0:00:09 > 0:00:10He hasn't been taking his medication.
0:00:10 > 0:00:12He's bipolar.
0:00:12 > 0:00:14- I'm bipolar.- My mum called,
0:00:14 > 0:00:16said Edward's missing, and I just burst into tears.
0:00:18 > 0:00:21You should have seen her, Becks. She basically went bananas.
0:00:21 > 0:00:24- I had to slap her in the face. - Could he be at your nan's?
0:00:24 > 0:00:27- Shut it, Steve.- Well, he used to stay at his nan's.
0:00:27 > 0:00:30My Kieran ran away from home,
0:00:30 > 0:00:32and it was the worst thing that ever happened to me.
0:00:32 > 0:00:34He was gone for two days
0:00:34 > 0:00:35- and it felt like... - Shelly,
0:00:35 > 0:00:39can you stop breathing on her? Take a mint, or something.
0:00:39 > 0:00:40It's unbearable.
0:00:45 > 0:00:47I remember this duvet.
0:00:47 > 0:00:50We bought it together, didn't we?
0:00:50 > 0:00:51God! Crazy days.
0:00:53 > 0:00:54Becks, get Julie a drink.
0:00:54 > 0:00:57- She's been crying.- Yeah, could I get a glass of squash, please, Becky?
0:00:57 > 0:01:00- Yeah, of course. - Thanks, Becky.
0:01:01 > 0:01:03And thanks, Steve.
0:01:04 > 0:01:05I knew you'd want to help him.
0:01:10 > 0:01:20This programme contains some strong language and adult humour
0:01:29 > 0:01:32Does she think she can just come round here?
0:01:37 > 0:01:38They've been in the sink.
0:01:41 > 0:01:42Eurgh! (SPLUTTERS)
0:01:42 > 0:01:43I've eaten sink juice.
0:01:43 > 0:01:45Why didn't you put them in the bin?
0:01:45 > 0:01:46Because it's boring.
0:01:53 > 0:01:57Is it me, or does Laura think crying makes you thirsty?
0:02:00 > 0:02:08(SPLUTTERS)
0:02:08 > 0:02:11- Julie's annoying, isn't she? - Yeah.
0:02:15 > 0:02:17I am worried about Edward, though, in this weather.
0:02:17 > 0:02:20Hmm, I'd be tearing my hair out.
0:02:20 > 0:02:22He's really fragile, Becks.
0:02:22 > 0:02:23And he got kicked out the Cubs.
0:02:23 > 0:02:27And she didn't help. She's enough to make anyone bipolar.
0:02:31 > 0:02:34He just needs someone normal in his life, like us.
0:02:34 > 0:02:39Someone to mentor him and teach him about the ways of the world.
0:02:42 > 0:02:44What?
0:02:44 > 0:02:45The ways of the world?!
0:02:45 > 0:02:47Yeah.
0:02:47 > 0:02:49What do we know about the ways of the world?
0:02:49 > 0:02:51- We sit in bed all day. - I know about life.
0:02:51 > 0:02:53- I'm 24. - SHE LAUGHS
0:02:53 > 0:02:54Wow.
0:02:54 > 0:02:56Why are you being like this?
0:02:58 > 0:03:00I'm not being like anything.
0:03:00 > 0:03:02Oh, OK.
0:03:05 > 0:03:08THUNDER RUMBLES
0:03:08 > 0:03:11I was looking forward to us eating that.
0:03:11 > 0:03:12Hmm.
0:03:12 > 0:03:15- How can that be £2?- Hmm.
0:03:15 > 0:03:17It's got cherries in it.
0:03:28 > 0:03:29You all right in there?
0:03:29 > 0:03:30Yeah.
0:03:31 > 0:03:34It's quite fun watching your ex-girlfriend cry.
0:03:34 > 0:03:35Yeah?
0:03:36 > 0:03:38It's her little brother, though, innit?
0:03:41 > 0:03:43Hey, hey!
0:03:43 > 0:03:47Did you smell her? She stinks of perfume.
0:03:49 > 0:03:52- HE LAUGHS - Well, she works on a perfume counter.
0:03:53 > 0:03:55Yeah, I know.
0:03:55 > 0:03:59- LAURA:- Some people are happy in their lives, like me and Paul are,
0:03:59 > 0:04:02and some people are unhappy in their lives,
0:04:02 > 0:04:04like your brother is. Or Shelly.
0:04:04 > 0:04:09But we have to remember that whatever will be, will be.
0:04:09 > 0:04:11Everybody lives
0:04:11 > 0:04:13and everybody dies.
0:04:13 > 0:04:15- Hmm.- She's right.
0:04:15 > 0:04:18Sorry, Stevie. I asked for a glass.
0:04:20 > 0:04:22Oh, sorry.
0:04:22 > 0:04:26I always drink squash out of a glass. You should know that.
0:04:26 > 0:04:27Get her a glass, Stevie.
0:04:27 > 0:04:29Yes, sorry.
0:04:30 > 0:04:33- I'll...I'll get a glass. - Thank you.
0:04:37 > 0:04:40Stevie would forget his head if it wasn't screwed on.
0:04:43 > 0:04:45- What are you doing? - Washing up.
0:04:45 > 0:04:47Why are you doing that?
0:04:47 > 0:04:49Look at it.
0:04:49 > 0:04:52- HE LAUGHS - OK, this is a first.
0:04:55 > 0:04:59Oh, great(!) Now everything's going to get washed in squash.
0:04:59 > 0:05:03Well, er, you'll be doing the squashing up.
0:05:03 > 0:05:06Wow! That is one of the worst jokes I've ever heard.
0:05:06 > 0:05:09Ah, you'll be doing the squashing up.
0:05:09 > 0:05:11Do you actually find that funny?
0:05:13 > 0:05:15Ha-ha-ha! You laughed.
0:05:15 > 0:05:19At you. I'm laughing at you.
0:05:21 > 0:05:23How is she?
0:05:23 > 0:05:24Pretending to cry?
0:05:24 > 0:05:26- No, she's better.- That's a shame.
0:05:29 > 0:05:30Could you do me a glass?
0:05:32 > 0:05:34She wants it in a glass.
0:05:43 > 0:05:45Can you hurry up with that drink, Steve? She's been crying.
0:05:45 > 0:05:48Yep, just doing it.
0:05:49 > 0:05:51Poor Edward.
0:05:51 > 0:05:52So sad.
0:05:53 > 0:05:57If he's not back by sundown, we should organise a search party,
0:05:57 > 0:05:59search the woods.
0:05:59 > 0:06:01- You always find them in the woods.- Yeah.
0:06:02 > 0:06:05- Heard from Paul? - Yes, yeah.
0:06:05 > 0:06:06He's cute.
0:06:06 > 0:06:09The course is really good, so they all stayed and worked through the night.
0:06:09 > 0:06:11Yeah? What kind of course is it?
0:06:11 > 0:06:14Oh, I don't know. You know what these courses are like.
0:06:14 > 0:06:15I'm sure he told me, but...
0:06:15 > 0:06:18Brain like a sieve! Butter wouldn't melt.
0:06:18 > 0:06:20It's just a course, isn't it? An awayday,
0:06:20 > 0:06:23brainstorming, breaking the ice.
0:06:23 > 0:06:26I'm sure they just learn about stuff. You know, Ryman's, stationery,
0:06:26 > 0:06:29buying, selling, buy, sell, buy, sell.
0:06:29 > 0:06:33Woof, woof, wow, wow... (SNORTS) ...nee-naw, nee-naw!
0:06:33 > 0:06:34Aagh!
0:06:34 > 0:06:37SHE LAUGHS
0:06:42 > 0:06:46I might have a fun little surprise for him when he gets here.
0:06:50 > 0:06:52Hmm?
0:06:52 > 0:06:53Hurry up, Stevie.
0:07:00 > 0:07:02All right?
0:07:02 > 0:07:03Yep.
0:07:03 > 0:07:06- The last thing Edward needs is Laura.- Absolutely.
0:07:06 > 0:07:09If only he'd had you as a mentor, he'd be a millionaire by now,
0:07:09 > 0:07:12not bent over a hedge getting fingered by tramps.
0:07:12 > 0:07:14Uh...
0:07:14 > 0:07:17Now, now, come on.
0:07:17 > 0:07:20- Now, now?- Yes.
0:07:20 > 0:07:22- Since when did you say "now, now"?- I think you're being a bit mean.
0:07:22 > 0:07:23We spend our lives being mean.
0:07:23 > 0:07:25There's some things you don't make fun of.
0:07:25 > 0:07:26- No, there's not. - Yes, there is.
0:07:26 > 0:07:28- Like what? - Er, missing mental people,
0:07:28 > 0:07:30crime victims, the disabled.
0:07:30 > 0:07:31- You love disabled jokes. - No, I don't.
0:07:31 > 0:07:33What about your screensaver?
0:07:33 > 0:07:35DOORBELL
0:07:36 > 0:07:39Knowing my luck, that'll be another one of my ex-girlfriends coming up here.
0:07:39 > 0:07:42We'll have Debbie coming up here, or Lisa Healey or Tabitha.
0:07:42 > 0:07:45Or it could be one of my exes. It could be Lee or Pete Gilbert,
0:07:45 > 0:07:48- or Danny Connor or Adam.- OK!
0:07:48 > 0:07:50OK.
0:07:51 > 0:07:53- Are you all right?- Yeah.
0:07:55 > 0:07:57DOORBELL
0:08:03 > 0:08:04How did you meet someone called Tabitha?
0:08:04 > 0:08:07She worked in Waterstone's.
0:08:09 > 0:08:11Posh bitch.
0:08:21 > 0:08:25Tell him he looks better. Tell him, Steve. He won't listen to me.
0:08:30 > 0:08:31What?
0:08:31 > 0:08:33Um... How do you mean?
0:08:33 > 0:08:38Jesus Christ! Do you think he looks better now, like this,
0:08:38 > 0:08:41or when he had that hair and that beard and he looked like
0:08:41 > 0:08:43a fucking child-killer?
0:08:44 > 0:08:45Um...
0:08:45 > 0:08:48He's been crying, Steve.
0:08:48 > 0:08:52Seriously! Show me a grown man that cries.
0:08:52 > 0:08:55Please just tell him he looks better, Steve, darling,
0:08:55 > 0:08:57because in a minute I'm going to blow my fucking face off.
0:09:00 > 0:09:02You look nice, Dan.
0:09:02 > 0:09:03Thank you.
0:09:05 > 0:09:07Where's your Hoover?
0:09:07 > 0:09:08Behind the fridge.
0:09:08 > 0:09:11Ugh! The voice.
0:09:11 > 0:09:14FOOTSTEPS ON STAIRS
0:09:19 > 0:09:21DOOR SLAMS
0:09:31 > 0:09:34- Come in.- Thanks, Steve.
0:09:37 > 0:09:39CLEARS HIS THROAT
0:09:41 > 0:09:43Fucking hell!
0:09:43 > 0:09:44Sorry.
0:09:49 > 0:09:52Steve... Ooh, very nice.
0:09:52 > 0:09:53Thank you.
0:10:00 > 0:10:01Sorry.
0:10:01 > 0:10:02It's OK.
0:10:02 > 0:10:04Don't worry.
0:10:08 > 0:10:11I just... I want my hair back.
0:10:12 > 0:10:13Oh, mate.
0:10:15 > 0:10:16It'll grow back.
0:10:20 > 0:10:22You shouldn't let her speak to you like that.
0:10:22 > 0:10:23I know.
0:10:23 > 0:10:25She's lucky to have me.
0:10:30 > 0:10:32Do you want to touch my head?
0:10:32 > 0:10:33No.
0:10:33 > 0:10:35It's smooth.
0:10:35 > 0:10:37No, you're all right.
0:10:47 > 0:10:49Do...do you want us to, um...?
0:10:49 > 0:10:50Yeah.
0:11:04 > 0:11:07- Anything from Edward? - This is a bit strong, Stevie.
0:11:09 > 0:11:10Blimey! You know I like it weak.
0:11:10 > 0:11:13Sorry. Do you want more water in it?
0:11:13 > 0:11:16No, don't worry. I'll live.
0:11:22 > 0:11:25All this worry - it's going to give me wrinkles.
0:11:25 > 0:11:28By the end of the day, I'll look like Shelly!
0:11:28 > 0:11:30SHELLY GUFFAWS
0:11:30 > 0:11:32Look at me, Steve.
0:11:32 > 0:11:34Worst day of my life, and I'm still funny.
0:11:34 > 0:11:36LAUGHTER
0:11:44 > 0:11:46Bloody hell.
0:11:47 > 0:11:50HOOVER DRONES
0:12:09 > 0:12:12- Do you remember my cat Bilbo? - Yeah.
0:12:12 > 0:12:15Course he does, he named him.
0:12:16 > 0:12:17Steve loved Bilbo, didn't you?
0:12:19 > 0:12:22- Yeah, he was nice. - Aw. He had a lovely sense of humour.
0:12:22 > 0:12:24Sounds great.
0:12:25 > 0:12:26When can I meet him?
0:12:26 > 0:12:29Well, unfortunately, Becky, he passed away.
0:12:32 > 0:12:35- Oh, Julie babes. - Julie...
0:12:35 > 0:12:38And I think it was actually the emotional trigger
0:12:38 > 0:12:40for a lot of the problems building up inside of Edward.
0:12:41 > 0:12:44- He always had problems. - Hmm.
0:12:44 > 0:12:46They kicked him out of Cubs...
0:12:46 > 0:12:47Didn't they?
0:12:54 > 0:12:58Oh, my Lord! What happened?
0:12:59 > 0:13:00Anita did it.
0:13:03 > 0:13:05Do you want to touch my head?
0:13:05 > 0:13:06I'm all right.
0:13:06 > 0:13:08OK.
0:13:09 > 0:13:10How have you been?
0:13:13 > 0:13:14You know...
0:13:15 > 0:13:16Yeah.
0:13:19 > 0:13:21You look nice.
0:13:22 > 0:13:24- No, I don't. - You do.
0:13:24 > 0:13:26Your hair's nice, and your clothes.
0:13:26 > 0:13:28They're always nice.
0:13:30 > 0:13:31I like your face.
0:13:32 > 0:13:33I don't know.
0:13:34 > 0:13:37I think my tits are nice.
0:13:40 > 0:13:41Yeah.
0:13:41 > 0:13:43Of course.
0:13:44 > 0:13:46What have you got that for?
0:13:46 > 0:13:49Oh, my breath's a little bit smelly.
0:13:49 > 0:13:50Oh, right.
0:13:57 > 0:13:58Shelly?
0:13:58 > 0:14:01DOORBELL RINGS INSISTENTLY
0:14:02 > 0:14:06Oh, my God! Oh, my God. Is it him, Steve? Is it Edward?
0:14:06 > 0:14:07It's not him.
0:14:11 > 0:14:12Hello, Anita.
0:14:12 > 0:14:14Oh, no.
0:14:14 > 0:14:15MUFFLED VOICES FROM HALL
0:14:17 > 0:14:20She's fat. You don't want to meet her.
0:14:20 > 0:14:22Come here.
0:14:22 > 0:14:26ANITA: I hoovered up your hair. Gagged about eight times.
0:14:26 > 0:14:28Take that thing off and get upstairs.
0:14:28 > 0:14:31- And how are you, Anita(?) - Oh, I'd be fine
0:14:31 > 0:14:33if I wasn't going out with a dog.
0:14:33 > 0:14:36I don't think you should speak to Dan like that.
0:14:36 > 0:14:37Go, Shelly.
0:14:37 > 0:14:38ANITA: Oh, I wondered if it spoke(!)
0:14:38 > 0:14:40I can speak, actually.
0:14:40 > 0:14:42At what age did your brain die?
0:14:42 > 0:14:44- (SNIGGERS)- I shouldn't laugh.
0:14:44 > 0:14:47I didn't even know she had a brain.
0:14:47 > 0:14:51SHELLY: Please don't speak to me like that. I have my rights, as a person.
0:14:51 > 0:14:53Hmm. They're called human rights.
0:14:53 > 0:14:57- STEVE:- Let's all calm down. - Aw, listen to Steve.
0:14:57 > 0:14:59- He ain't changed a bit.- Aw.
0:14:59 > 0:15:00ANITA: I haven't even started yet.
0:15:00 > 0:15:03I think you should stop being so mean to everyone.
0:15:03 > 0:15:07Oh, look at it! Great clothes, great brain,
0:15:07 > 0:15:09clearly scintillating conversation,
0:15:09 > 0:15:12but most importantly, what every girl needs -
0:15:12 > 0:15:15breath that smells of horse shit.
0:15:15 > 0:15:16Anita!
0:15:17 > 0:15:19I can't stand this. Can you make her leave?
0:15:19 > 0:15:21- I'm getting one of my headaches.- Right.
0:15:21 > 0:15:23CLEARS HER THROAT
0:15:23 > 0:15:25Excuse me, everyone.
0:15:25 > 0:15:26ANITA: Get upstairs, Dan.
0:15:26 > 0:15:28Shut the door behind you.
0:15:29 > 0:15:32SHELLY: ...I think that's a very good idea.
0:15:32 > 0:15:34Who the flaming hell do you think you are?
0:15:34 > 0:15:36MUFFLED ARGUMENT CONTINUES
0:15:55 > 0:15:58PHONE RINGS
0:16:03 > 0:16:05Can I call you back?
0:16:05 > 0:16:07All right. Bye.
0:16:21 > 0:16:24You do know he asked me to marry him, don't you?
0:16:25 > 0:16:27No, he didn't.
0:16:30 > 0:16:31OK, then.
0:16:42 > 0:16:43I said no.
0:16:57 > 0:16:59ANITA: Uncle Graeme is a good-looking man,
0:16:59 > 0:17:01and if she had the chance to fuck him,
0:17:01 > 0:17:04she would do it every minute of the day in every orifice she could find.
0:17:04 > 0:17:08You stop being horrible about Shelly or I will kill you.
0:17:08 > 0:17:12Come on, Dan. I'm fed up of speaking to spastics.
0:17:12 > 0:17:15I'll come down on you like a ton of bricks.
0:17:15 > 0:17:17ANITA: Dan, get upstairs now,
0:17:17 > 0:17:21or you can stay here with this mong
0:17:21 > 0:17:25and that fanatic we both know is exactly like your mother,
0:17:25 > 0:17:28except she's even thicker than your mother, and even more of a slag!
0:17:28 > 0:17:30SHE SOBS
0:17:30 > 0:17:32Oh, stop crying!
0:17:32 > 0:17:37You people make me so angry! You're just disgusting little chavs,
0:17:37 > 0:17:43living your paltry little lives, eating shit food and watching the television!
0:17:43 > 0:17:46And you're the worst of the lot, because you're old
0:17:46 > 0:17:49and you're hanging out with people half your age.
0:17:49 > 0:17:51And you have nothing!
0:17:51 > 0:17:55You're fat, you're ugly, you disgust me.
0:17:55 > 0:17:57Why don't you shut up, you silly, fat bitch?!
0:18:00 > 0:18:02OK.
0:18:04 > 0:18:07FOOTSTEPS ON STAIRS
0:18:09 > 0:18:11DOOR SLAMS
0:18:11 > 0:18:13Was that too much?
0:18:15 > 0:18:16No, it was good.
0:18:18 > 0:18:20I'm worried it was a bit harsh.
0:18:20 > 0:18:21It was good.
0:18:21 > 0:18:23Yeah.
0:18:23 > 0:18:24Don't worry about it.
0:18:24 > 0:18:27Oh, good. I need a wee-wee.
0:18:33 > 0:18:35You're nothing like my mum.
0:18:36 > 0:18:38I don't want to think about it.
0:18:38 > 0:18:40Seriously. She's Northern.
0:18:40 > 0:18:41PAUL: Steve.
0:18:41 > 0:18:43SHELLY: I don't want to think about it, to be honest.
0:18:43 > 0:18:46Hello, Paul.
0:18:46 > 0:18:47How was the course?
0:18:47 > 0:18:50I haven't been on a course, have I, you prick!
0:18:50 > 0:18:52I've met someone, Steve. I'm in love.
0:18:52 > 0:18:54Right.
0:18:54 > 0:18:57She's called Masoomah, she's 17.
0:18:57 > 0:18:58Oh, God.
0:18:58 > 0:19:00She's from a family of proper hard-core Muslims.
0:19:00 > 0:19:02Oh, my good God.
0:19:02 > 0:19:05Like proper hard-core - capes and veils,
0:19:05 > 0:19:07not like these pussy ones that wear jeans, and drink.
0:19:07 > 0:19:08- Paul!- She's short,
0:19:08 > 0:19:12she's fit, she's got a prayer mat...
0:19:12 > 0:19:14and I'm going to marry her on it.
0:19:16 > 0:19:17OK, where do I start?
0:19:17 > 0:19:19I'm not going to live a life of lies, Steve.
0:19:19 > 0:19:21The moronity of it all.
0:19:21 > 0:19:24Where's Laura?
0:19:24 > 0:19:26- SHELLY: She's in the bathroom. - PAUL: Brilliant.
0:19:26 > 0:19:29She's got my telly. Oi, don't take my telly.
0:19:29 > 0:19:32Hurry up in there, Laura. I've got something I want to say.
0:19:32 > 0:19:35- LAURA:- Hi, there, lover. - DAN: Anita!
0:19:40 > 0:19:43Oh, my God, Becks, did you hear all that?
0:19:43 > 0:19:47Hey! I thought we were meant to eat that together?
0:19:49 > 0:19:50I know what we can have with it.
0:19:50 > 0:19:52Laura, I need to speak to you.
0:19:52 > 0:19:54Be patient, Paul, my darling.
0:19:55 > 0:19:57BELL RINGS
0:19:57 > 0:20:00Anita is so horrible.
0:20:00 > 0:20:03Apparently, she'll eat a whole tin of corned beef, as a snack. Dan told me.
0:20:03 > 0:20:04380 grams.
0:20:04 > 0:20:07She'll just crack open a tin
0:20:07 > 0:20:10and eat it with a teaspoon. Can you imagine
0:20:10 > 0:20:13what that's doing to her insides? 380 grams of corned beef a day.
0:20:13 > 0:20:15That's... In a week, that's...
0:20:15 > 0:20:18- Are you shitting? - No, Paul, I'm a lady.
0:20:25 > 0:20:27Um, that's...
0:20:29 > 0:20:31...nearly 4 kilograms.
0:20:31 > 0:20:33Bloody hell!
0:20:33 > 0:20:37She eats 4 kilograms of corned beef a week!
0:20:37 > 0:20:40Well, I guess that's a lot.
0:20:40 > 0:20:42I've no idea how big a kilogram is.
0:20:42 > 0:20:45How big's a kilogram, Becks?
0:20:45 > 0:20:49What's that? Bag of sugar? That's...
0:20:49 > 0:20:54You OK? Or am I being the world's biggest idiot again?
0:20:58 > 0:20:59Oh, my God, Becks, what's happened?
0:21:01 > 0:21:03Did you ask her to marry you?
0:21:10 > 0:21:11Julie, can I have a word?
0:21:11 > 0:21:14JULIE: Oh, wow. Someone's all excited.
0:21:16 > 0:21:19Right, Laura, I have an announcement to make.
0:21:19 > 0:21:21No, Paul, me first.
0:21:21 > 0:21:22Becks, you'll want to hear this.
0:21:22 > 0:21:26Right, fine. I'll say it now, because who gives a fucking shit?!
0:21:26 > 0:21:28- Language, Paul. - Oh, shut up!
0:21:28 > 0:21:31- Paul, you're being noisy. - Don't speak like that to me!
0:21:31 > 0:21:34I'll speak to you how I like, Paul. I'm pregnant.
0:21:40 > 0:21:42No, you're not.
0:21:42 > 0:21:44Yes, I am, Paul.
0:21:44 > 0:21:45No, you're fucking not.
0:21:45 > 0:21:47Oh, yes, I am, Paul.
0:21:47 > 0:21:48SHE LAUGHS
0:21:48 > 0:21:50You're not really, though, are you?
0:21:50 > 0:21:52Yes!
0:21:52 > 0:21:53Aren't I amazing?
0:21:53 > 0:21:55I'm someone's mummy.
0:21:57 > 0:21:59Wow, well done.
0:22:00 > 0:22:02Sorry...
0:22:02 > 0:22:03Yeah.
0:22:03 > 0:22:05Amazing! Congratulations.
0:22:07 > 0:22:09I'm going to give birth in a bath.
0:22:10 > 0:22:12You'll have to get in with me,
0:22:12 > 0:22:14and we'll name it and raise it and love it
0:22:14 > 0:22:16and dress it. We'll have it immunised
0:22:16 > 0:22:18and feed it milk.
0:22:18 > 0:22:20Oh, Julie babes, we'll have so much fun.
0:22:22 > 0:22:23Julie...
0:22:23 > 0:22:27Sorry, I've got to tell Julie. She's going to be the fairy godmother.
0:22:27 > 0:22:30Julie babes, I've got something I want to tell you.
0:22:31 > 0:22:33Julie!
0:22:33 > 0:22:34Wait, Julie.
0:22:47 > 0:22:50Paul, my mum's on the phone. She wants to speak to you.
0:22:55 > 0:22:57Come on.
0:22:58 > 0:23:00Speak to her.
0:23:02 > 0:23:04It's my bike.
0:23:05 > 0:23:07I was going to sell that.
0:23:12 > 0:23:14Can you believe the rain?
0:23:19 > 0:23:20She's gone.
0:23:20 > 0:23:22She won't be coming back.
0:23:24 > 0:23:27THUNDER RUMBLES
0:23:29 > 0:23:31Look at me.
0:23:45 > 0:23:47I was 18.
0:23:47 > 0:23:52It was Tenerife. It wasn't even a real ring, it was one of those sweets.
0:23:52 > 0:23:55You know pick 'n' mix. I don't know what they're called but they're usually red.
0:23:55 > 0:23:57Strawberry.
0:23:57 > 0:24:00Pretty small, chewy... Shaped like a ring.
0:24:00 > 0:24:02They're really nice.
0:24:02 > 0:24:04Yes, OK, I know them.
0:24:04 > 0:24:05Right.
0:24:05 > 0:24:07It was nothing.
0:24:09 > 0:24:11It wasn't like you and me.
0:24:16 > 0:24:18Becks!
0:24:19 > 0:24:21Leave it, it'll dry itself.
0:24:30 > 0:24:34- (HIGH-PITCHED)- Would it help if I did a silly voice?
0:24:43 > 0:24:45How did you feel when she said no?
0:24:50 > 0:24:52HE SIGHS
0:24:54 > 0:24:55I was gutted.
0:24:55 > 0:24:57HE SIGHS
0:24:57 > 0:25:00I was. I was completely gutted.
0:25:00 > 0:25:03Of course I was, I'd just been dumped. I'm not going to lie to you.
0:25:07 > 0:25:08But it...
0:25:08 > 0:25:11It doesn't mean anything.
0:25:11 > 0:25:13If I'd have known that you existed,
0:25:13 > 0:25:15I would have never have given a shit about it.
0:25:15 > 0:25:20It's not like I loved her. I was just...used to her.
0:25:20 > 0:25:22SHE SOBS
0:25:26 > 0:25:31I don't think she's ever made me laugh.
0:25:35 > 0:25:40All I wanted to do today is help Edward, cos he's just a boy who needs helping,
0:25:40 > 0:25:42that's all.
0:25:44 > 0:25:46I was being a Good Samaritan.
0:25:48 > 0:25:51THUNDER RUMBLES
0:25:52 > 0:25:53Why are you quoting the Bible?
0:25:54 > 0:25:55No.
0:25:57 > 0:25:59What do you mean, a Good Samaritan?
0:26:01 > 0:26:04Not from the Bible, it's just a saying.
0:26:04 > 0:26:06That comes from the Bible.
0:26:06 > 0:26:09It's not from the Bible.
0:26:10 > 0:26:12It's from the Samaritans. It's a phone company.
0:26:24 > 0:26:26Laura's pregnant.
0:26:28 > 0:26:29Is she?
0:26:29 > 0:26:31Yeah.
0:26:32 > 0:26:36Oh, my God. That kid's going to be total nightmare.
0:26:38 > 0:26:42- They'd better not bring it round.- Hmm, fuck that.
0:26:53 > 0:26:55Why would anyone want to marry Julie?
0:26:57 > 0:26:59And Bilbo?
0:26:59 > 0:27:01I'm not like that any more.
0:27:05 > 0:27:08I don't know what you're like.
0:27:08 > 0:27:10I've only known you nine months.
0:27:10 > 0:27:12You might turn out to be a serial killer.
0:27:16 > 0:27:20You might be one of these men that meets women, rapes and kills them,
0:27:20 > 0:27:23boils them in the bath and then eats them.
0:27:23 > 0:27:26I wish I was - that sounds brilliant.
0:27:31 > 0:27:33Thanks for getting rid of her.
0:27:33 > 0:27:35It was good, wasn't it?
0:27:36 > 0:27:39I quite enjoyed it. I felt all manly.
0:27:39 > 0:27:40Thank God you're not manly.
0:27:42 > 0:27:43I'm manly.
0:27:43 > 0:27:45No, you're not.
0:27:52 > 0:27:54Do you want to do something?
0:27:54 > 0:27:56Do you wanna get out the house?
0:27:56 > 0:27:59I know it's wet, but we can get on a bus, ride about.
0:28:01 > 0:28:03Get a bit of fresh air, go out of town.
0:28:03 > 0:28:07Anything you want. We can do some shopping, go Nando's.
0:28:08 > 0:28:10It's a bit stuffy in here, innit?
0:28:10 > 0:28:13Might be nice to get out the flat.
0:28:23 > 0:28:25HE CHUCKLES
0:28:29 > 0:28:33# Come closer and cuddle me tight
0:28:33 > 0:28:36# My heart goes boom-bang-a-bang Boom-bang-a-bang
0:28:36 > 0:28:38# When you are near
0:28:38 > 0:28:41# Boom-bang-a-bang all the time
0:28:41 > 0:28:45# It's such a lovely feeling
0:28:45 > 0:28:49# When I'm in your arms
0:28:49 > 0:28:54# Don't go away I wanna stay my whole life through
0:28:54 > 0:28:55# Boom-bang-a-bang Close to you. #