The Christmas Special

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0:00:02 > 0:00:05This programme contains some strong language

0:00:05 > 0:00:09- # Happy Christmas to you. - # Happy Christmas to you.

0:00:10 > 0:00:14- # Happy Christmas to Steve...- Mum!

0:00:14 > 0:00:18# Happy Christmas to you. #

0:00:18 > 0:00:19Yeah!

0:00:19 > 0:00:21Are you OK?

0:00:21 > 0:00:22Yeah. It's a tradition.

0:00:22 > 0:00:24That's so cool.

0:00:24 > 0:00:26Are you having a lovely Christmas?

0:00:26 > 0:00:29Yeah! Are you having a lovely Christmas?

0:00:29 > 0:00:32Yeah!

0:00:32 > 0:00:34# Lovely Christmas, lovely Christmas

0:00:34 > 0:00:38# Lovely Christmas, lovely Christmas.

0:00:38 > 0:00:40# Lovely Christmas, lovely Christmas.

0:00:40 > 0:00:41Is that a tradition?

0:00:41 > 0:00:43No.

0:00:45 > 0:00:48Yeah!

0:00:48 > 0:00:50How's Lanzarote?

0:00:50 > 0:00:51What's that?

0:00:51 > 0:00:53How's Lan-zar-ote?!

0:00:54 > 0:00:58It's very nice! Yeah! Very warm!

0:00:58 > 0:01:00Oh no! It's freezing here!

0:01:00 > 0:01:03Ha!

0:01:03 > 0:01:04That's so unfair!

0:01:06 > 0:01:09You OK? You made lots of friends?

0:01:09 > 0:01:12Yeah! A few of us girls are having a right laugh!

0:01:13 > 0:01:15Yeah. It's been very nice.

0:01:16 > 0:01:21Just us girls hanging out together, having a nice time and stuff.

0:01:21 > 0:01:23Playing on the beach.

0:01:23 > 0:01:25Having a little drink.

0:01:26 > 0:01:30Yeah. It's been very nice, actually.

0:01:30 > 0:01:33It's been good to get away.

0:01:33 > 0:01:35Thanks for the presents!

0:01:35 > 0:01:37- Do you like them?- Yeah!

0:01:37 > 0:01:38Yeah they're amazing!

0:01:39 > 0:01:43I got them from that same place where I got them dressing...

0:01:49 > 0:01:53Your mum's got such good taste in men.

0:01:53 > 0:01:55Shut up!

0:02:24 > 0:02:29What do you get when you cross a cat with a lemon?

0:02:29 > 0:02:30I don't care!

0:02:36 > 0:02:38The Queen'll be on in a minute!

0:02:41 > 0:02:43Becky! Becky!

0:02:44 > 0:02:45Oh.

0:02:45 > 0:02:48I hate the Queen. She's such a knob.

0:02:48 > 0:02:50Here we go.

0:02:50 > 0:02:54Glasses are stupid, she's so old.

0:02:55 > 0:02:57She dresses like a prick.

0:02:57 > 0:03:00Name me an old person that doesn't dress like a prick.

0:03:00 > 0:03:02She does that stupid voice.

0:03:02 > 0:03:03That's her voice!

0:03:03 > 0:03:05No one's that posh.

0:03:06 > 0:03:08Did you get anything good?

0:03:08 > 0:03:09Nope. You?

0:03:13 > 0:03:16You'd better hide that before Laura gets here.

0:03:18 > 0:03:19- BOTH:- Mmm.

0:03:22 > 0:03:25This is honestly the best Christmas present that anyone has ever

0:03:25 > 0:03:26given me.

0:03:29 > 0:03:33It's not as good as my toaster though, is it?

0:03:33 > 0:03:35Shut up.

0:03:35 > 0:03:37Oh, come on. You got me a toaster!

0:03:39 > 0:03:42It's a good toaster. It normally costs fifty quid.

0:03:43 > 0:03:45And how much did you pay for it?

0:03:46 > 0:03:48Did you get it for free?

0:03:48 > 0:03:49DOORBELL RINGS

0:03:49 > 0:03:51No. Of course not.

0:03:51 > 0:03:52Did you?

0:03:52 > 0:03:54I spent all my money on your bloody ring.

0:03:54 > 0:03:55You little bastard!

0:03:55 > 0:03:57Agh! Becky! That hurts!

0:03:57 > 0:03:59- No, it doesn't.- Becky!

0:03:59 > 0:04:01DOORBELL RINGS

0:04:02 > 0:04:03Here we go.

0:04:05 > 0:04:08They are going to love this!

0:04:19 > 0:04:21Dad!

0:04:21 > 0:04:24Here he is! Happy Christmas!

0:04:24 > 0:04:25Happy Christmas.

0:04:27 > 0:04:28What are you doing here?

0:04:28 > 0:04:30I've come to see my boy, haven't I?

0:04:30 > 0:04:31Great.

0:04:34 > 0:04:35Happy Christmas!

0:04:35 > 0:04:38Thanks! Lovely. Happy Christmas!

0:04:38 > 0:04:41Well, come in. Come in.

0:04:41 > 0:04:44Oh, thanks. Thanks, Steve.

0:04:44 > 0:04:47I just knocked on the flat down there and she was not happy!

0:04:47 > 0:04:49No. She's a difficult one.

0:04:49 > 0:04:50I can imagine!

0:04:50 > 0:04:52Is Suzanne with you?

0:04:52 > 0:04:53No, no, no.

0:04:53 > 0:04:55I can't believe it's Christmas again!

0:04:55 > 0:04:57It comes round so quickly, doesn't it.

0:04:57 > 0:05:00Yes. It does. It does.

0:05:01 > 0:05:03You having a good one?

0:05:03 > 0:05:05Yep. You?

0:05:05 > 0:05:06Oh, yeah! It's lovely.

0:05:08 > 0:05:11Christmas is great, isn't it?

0:05:11 > 0:05:14- Yeah.- Yeah.

0:05:14 > 0:05:17Well, this is nice.

0:05:17 > 0:05:20Yes. It's a bit of a mess but there you go!

0:05:20 > 0:05:22Well, you know what you can do about that.

0:05:22 > 0:05:24What's that?

0:05:24 > 0:05:28Get that girlfriend of yours to move in and get her to do the cleaning!

0:05:28 > 0:05:30Yes!

0:05:30 > 0:05:33But, well, she did move in, didn't she, so...

0:05:33 > 0:05:35Of course she did! Sorry.

0:05:36 > 0:05:37We got engaged.

0:05:37 > 0:05:39No, I know you did. I know.

0:05:39 > 0:05:42And that's great, isn't it?

0:05:42 > 0:05:43Make an honest woman of her!

0:05:46 > 0:05:48Absolutely!

0:05:50 > 0:05:53Becks! My dad's here!

0:05:56 > 0:05:57Speak of the devil!

0:05:57 > 0:05:58Happy Christmas, Becks.

0:05:58 > 0:06:00Welcome to the family.

0:06:00 > 0:06:02Happy Christmas.

0:06:02 > 0:06:05I've heard a lot about you. None of it good!

0:06:08 > 0:06:10And how was the move? The move was OK, was it?

0:06:13 > 0:06:14You moving in here.

0:06:14 > 0:06:18Oh, yeah. No, it was great.

0:06:18 > 0:06:20Good. Excellent.

0:06:21 > 0:06:23Don't worry, I won't stop long...

0:06:23 > 0:06:24DOORBELL RINGS

0:06:24 > 0:06:27Ooh, more people! I really am getting in the way, aren't I.

0:06:27 > 0:06:28- No!- No!

0:06:28 > 0:06:31Go and have a seat. Do you want a beer?

0:06:31 > 0:06:33Oh, yeah. Thanks.

0:06:33 > 0:06:35That'll oil the wheels!

0:06:40 > 0:06:43DOORBELL RINGS AGAIN

0:06:44 > 0:06:47Well, that's breakfast sorted.

0:06:47 > 0:06:49I'll put it in the freezer.

0:06:49 > 0:06:50Make it gloopy.

0:06:50 > 0:06:51Mmm.

0:06:51 > 0:06:53DOORBELL RINGS

0:06:56 > 0:06:58Thank you.

0:07:05 > 0:07:06Happy Christmas!

0:07:07 > 0:07:09Happy Christmas.

0:07:09 > 0:07:12Oh, my god, Becks. Shut up and listen to this.

0:07:12 > 0:07:14BEAR: Hey, Rudolph. Suck my balls.

0:07:14 > 0:07:16Can you believe it?!

0:07:16 > 0:07:18BEAR: I did a shit in your stocking.

0:07:19 > 0:07:22Oi, it's my go.

0:07:22 > 0:07:24BEAR: I fucked an elf!

0:07:24 > 0:07:26That's really funny.

0:07:26 > 0:07:28Paul got it off his adopted parents.

0:07:28 > 0:07:32And they got me socks, Cluedo and a metal detector.

0:07:32 > 0:07:34They're very generous, aren't they?

0:07:34 > 0:07:36Yes. It's because they love me.

0:07:38 > 0:07:40Happy Christmas, everyone!

0:07:40 > 0:07:43Where's our fucking Christmas card?

0:07:43 > 0:07:44What's that?

0:07:44 > 0:07:46You didn't send us a Christmas card.

0:07:46 > 0:07:47Nor did Becky.

0:07:47 > 0:07:49She was included on Mum and Dad's.

0:07:52 > 0:07:56All right. I'm sorry I didn't send you a Christmas card.

0:07:56 > 0:07:57Laugh it up, Steve.

0:07:57 > 0:07:59You won't be getting a card from us next year.

0:07:59 > 0:08:02We'll just be addressing it to Becky.

0:08:03 > 0:08:04There's only one microphone.

0:08:04 > 0:08:06Well, how are me and Becks going to do our harmonies?

0:08:06 > 0:08:08< 'Allo, 'allo, allo.

0:08:08 > 0:08:10< Hello, I'm Laura, and I'm pregnant.

0:08:10 > 0:08:12I'm not singing with her.

0:08:12 > 0:08:13We'll see about that.

0:08:13 > 0:08:15Seriously.

0:08:15 > 0:08:18If she even tries and makes me sing, I'll rip her throat out.

0:08:18 > 0:08:21Aaah. You're lovely(!)

0:08:23 > 0:08:25< We love Christmas in our family.

0:08:25 > 0:08:27< Drinking, lots of presents.

0:08:27 > 0:08:32< Yeah, I got a metal detector from my parents, it's fuckin' mega.

0:08:32 > 0:08:35- < Excellent...- You just switch it on and it detects metal.

0:08:35 > 0:08:37..so I'll take it to Southend and search for treasure.

0:08:37 > 0:08:39Great idea.

0:08:39 > 0:08:42Paul loves Christmas, don't you, Paul?

0:08:42 > 0:08:44Yeah. Look.

0:08:44 > 0:08:45Ooh, lovely!

0:08:45 > 0:08:48If I could have my life again, I'd be an elf.

0:08:48 > 0:08:51I think you'd make a good elf.

0:08:51 > 0:08:52Thanks.

0:08:52 > 0:08:53Right! Everyone sit!

0:08:53 > 0:08:54Thank you, Paul.

0:08:57 > 0:08:59Now, come on, Petey.

0:08:59 > 0:09:02Tell us a story about when Steve was a kid.

0:09:02 > 0:09:05Ha! No, my lips are sealed.

0:09:05 > 0:09:06Tell us a story where he hurts himself.

0:09:06 > 0:09:07Good one!

0:09:07 > 0:09:10Oh, let me think. Erm...

0:09:10 > 0:09:12Did he ever trip and smack his head?

0:09:12 > 0:09:14Not that I can remember.

0:09:14 > 0:09:16Did he ever fall off a swing?

0:09:16 > 0:09:20What about pets? Did he ever try and fuck his pets?

0:09:20 > 0:09:21Erm...

0:09:21 > 0:09:24So Laura. How was midnight Mass?

0:09:25 > 0:09:27Oh it was lovely, Becks.

0:09:27 > 0:09:29I mean, don't get me wrong,

0:09:29 > 0:09:30I hate the Pope.

0:09:30 > 0:09:34But they had candles, hymns, everyone was chatting.

0:09:34 > 0:09:37It was so Christmassy. And we think we saw Jesus, didn't we?

0:09:37 > 0:09:38Yeah.

0:09:40 > 0:09:43So, what did you guys do last night?

0:09:43 > 0:09:45This?

0:09:45 > 0:09:46Nice.

0:09:46 > 0:09:47DOORBELL RINGS

0:09:49 > 0:09:50Who wants a present?!

0:09:50 > 0:09:52Yeah!

0:09:52 > 0:09:55Oh, Laura? Becky really wants to sing with you on the karaoke.

0:09:57 > 0:10:00Aah. She's such a little diva.

0:10:00 > 0:10:02Let's find us a song!

0:10:02 > 0:10:03No. It's OK.

0:10:03 > 0:10:04DOORBELL RINGS AGAIN

0:10:04 > 0:10:06Dad, do you want another beer?

0:10:06 > 0:10:07Don't worry. I'll get it.

0:10:07 > 0:10:09I've got my own two legs, haven't I?!

0:10:09 > 0:10:11FORCED LAUGHTER

0:10:11 > 0:10:14I'm not that old, yet!

0:10:16 > 0:10:19Oh, my god.

0:10:20 > 0:10:21I love laughing.

0:10:22 > 0:10:23Do you like laughing, Becks?

0:10:23 > 0:10:25Mmmm.

0:10:25 > 0:10:27Ho! Ho! Ho!

0:10:27 > 0:10:29That's such a good impression of Santa.

0:10:29 > 0:10:30Do it again, Paul.

0:10:30 > 0:10:33Ho! Ho! Ho!

0:10:33 > 0:10:34It's like he's in the room.

0:10:34 > 0:10:36Happy Christmas!

0:10:36 > 0:10:38Happy Christmas. Happy Christmas, Kieran.

0:10:38 > 0:10:40Happy Christmas.

0:10:40 > 0:10:41Shelly got me a camera.

0:10:41 > 0:10:42Oh, that's nice.

0:10:42 > 0:10:44Smile.

0:10:45 > 0:10:47Do something funny.

0:10:49 > 0:10:52So, what do you want to sing, Becks? Slade? Wizzard?

0:10:52 > 0:10:54He was joking. I'm not going to sing.

0:10:54 > 0:10:56Ding Dong Merrily On High?

0:10:56 > 0:10:57I'm not going to sing.

0:10:57 > 0:10:58What about a Jesus one?

0:10:58 > 0:11:00Away In A Manger?

0:11:00 > 0:11:01If you don't sing it, I will.

0:11:01 > 0:11:03I'm not going to sing, Paul.

0:11:04 > 0:11:07Ta-da! I brought some champagne.

0:11:07 > 0:11:11Wow! Thanks, Shell. That's a bit expensive isn't it?

0:11:11 > 0:11:13She nicked it from work.

0:11:13 > 0:11:14Dan!

0:11:14 > 0:11:15Really?

0:11:15 > 0:11:16Yeah.

0:11:16 > 0:11:20I just took it off the shelf and slipped it in my bag

0:11:20 > 0:11:22when no-one was looking!

0:11:22 > 0:11:25What about the CCTV cameras?

0:11:28 > 0:11:29Oh, no.

0:11:29 > 0:11:32Happy Christmas!

0:11:32 > 0:11:33Happy Christmas!

0:11:33 > 0:11:37It's Christmas! I'm so excited it's Christmas.

0:11:37 > 0:11:38It's Christmas!

0:11:38 > 0:11:40We've brought the karaoke machine, Shell!

0:11:40 > 0:11:42Oh, good!

0:11:42 > 0:11:45Hey, Kieran baby! Happy Christmas!

0:11:45 > 0:11:48Show Auntie Laura what Father Christmas brought you.

0:11:48 > 0:11:52Oh my god, Shell. Seriously. He's nearly eight.

0:11:52 > 0:11:53Father Christmas doesn't exist.

0:11:53 > 0:11:55Your mum's a fucking liar.

0:11:56 > 0:11:58(Kieran's breath fucking stinks.)

0:11:58 > 0:12:01Father Christmas does exist, doesn't he?

0:12:01 > 0:12:03Yeah. Of course. Of course he does.

0:12:03 > 0:12:04Silly Auntie Laura.

0:12:04 > 0:12:06Dan?

0:12:06 > 0:12:09Yeah. Definitely.

0:12:09 > 0:12:11He was in my class at school.

0:12:12 > 0:12:15I sat next to him.

0:12:15 > 0:12:19He was the nicest man in the whole wide world.

0:12:19 > 0:12:21And he told me not to tell you this, but I will anyway

0:12:21 > 0:12:25because you're my friend.

0:12:25 > 0:12:30He's got a real soft spot for a certain someone!

0:12:30 > 0:12:31You can't tell anyone.

0:12:37 > 0:12:38OK?

0:12:38 > 0:12:40Good boy.

0:12:40 > 0:12:41Do you want this back?

0:12:41 > 0:12:43Erm, yeah, thanks.

0:12:47 > 0:12:49Happy Christmas!

0:12:49 > 0:12:50Ho-ho-ho.

0:12:52 > 0:12:55Happy Christmas, Kieran.

0:12:55 > 0:12:57All right, mate?

0:12:57 > 0:12:59Nice bunch of friends you've got in there.

0:12:59 > 0:13:01Yeah.

0:13:01 > 0:13:04They seem a lot of fun.

0:13:07 > 0:13:10Becky likes her food, doesn't she?

0:13:10 > 0:13:12Yeah.

0:13:13 > 0:13:17Well, that's what Christmas is all about, isn't it?

0:13:17 > 0:13:20It's great to see you, mate.

0:13:20 > 0:13:22Yeah. It's great to see you.

0:13:22 > 0:13:24It's been a while.

0:13:24 > 0:13:26I know it has. Yeah, blimey.

0:13:27 > 0:13:30You got my birthday card, though? And the voucher.

0:13:31 > 0:13:32Yeah.

0:13:32 > 0:13:34Yeah. Get something nice?

0:13:35 > 0:13:37Yeah.

0:13:37 > 0:13:38Good.

0:13:40 > 0:13:44Things have not been great between me and Suzanne.

0:13:48 > 0:13:50I thought not.

0:14:00 > 0:14:02And what part did you play?

0:14:02 > 0:14:04Shepherd.

0:14:04 > 0:14:05Speak up!

0:14:05 > 0:14:06Shepherd.

0:14:06 > 0:14:08Anyone can play a shepherd.

0:14:11 > 0:14:13Do you want to do your colouring in?

0:14:13 > 0:14:15Yes.

0:14:15 > 0:14:17I used to be really good at colouring in.

0:14:24 > 0:14:25Has he brushed his teeth?

0:14:27 > 0:14:31No. It's Christmas.

0:14:31 > 0:14:34Give him a mint, Shell. I could smell him from here.

0:14:35 > 0:14:36He's fine as he is.

0:14:39 > 0:14:40This one's for Becky!

0:14:42 > 0:14:46Ho ho ho! Happy Christmas, Becky.

0:14:49 > 0:14:50Thank you!

0:14:54 > 0:14:56Oh!

0:14:56 > 0:14:59Thanks, Laura, thanks, Paul.

0:14:59 > 0:15:01That's great.

0:15:01 > 0:15:03It's like money but you can only spend it in Mothercare.

0:15:03 > 0:15:06What a good idea.

0:15:06 > 0:15:07Hold it up.

0:15:09 > 0:15:10Do something funny.

0:15:13 > 0:15:15OK.

0:15:16 > 0:15:19< PAUL: Who wants another present

0:15:19 > 0:15:22CHATTER FROM ADJACENT ROOM

0:15:42 > 0:15:44Happy Christmas.

0:15:44 > 0:15:46Happy Christmas.

0:15:46 > 0:15:48I'm Pete, Steve's dad.

0:15:50 > 0:15:51Nice to meet you.

0:15:51 > 0:15:53Nice to meet you.

0:15:56 > 0:15:57What you doing there, then?

0:15:57 > 0:16:00My colouring in.

0:16:00 > 0:16:03Very good. Excellent.

0:16:04 > 0:16:07STEVE: It's lovely, really nice. > LAURA: Thought you'd like it. >

0:16:07 > 0:16:09BECKS: That's great, thanks, Laur. >

0:16:09 > 0:16:12PAUL: Just a little something to show our appreciation of how much >

0:16:12 > 0:16:13you're doing for the wedding. >

0:16:13 > 0:16:15Well, that's very good, isn't it?

0:16:15 > 0:16:18CHATTER FROM ADJACENT ROOM

0:16:22 > 0:16:25So what's your favourite subject at school?

0:16:25 > 0:16:26History.

0:16:26 > 0:16:29- You like history, do you?- Yeah.

0:16:29 > 0:16:33Excellent. Excellent.

0:16:35 > 0:16:38I liked Maths.

0:16:38 > 0:16:40BECKS: Any Pringles left in that one? >

0:16:40 > 0:16:41PAUL: No, you get 'em. >

0:16:41 > 0:16:44LAURA: Come on, Becks, we'll get them together, >

0:16:44 > 0:16:47then we can do some vocal warm-ups for the karaoke. >

0:16:47 > 0:16:50BECKS: Yeah, or we could just get Pringles. >

0:16:50 > 0:16:52But I want to do some vocal warm-ups.

0:16:52 > 0:16:53I'm just getting Pringles, Laura.

0:16:53 > 0:16:57I know, but if you don't do vocal warm-ups you can tear your larynx.

0:16:57 > 0:17:00PAUL: Where's your Dad gone? He's hilarious, Shelly, isn't he? >

0:17:07 > 0:17:10Hello, hello, hello! What's going on 'ere, then?

0:17:10 > 0:17:11Give me a C.

0:17:11 > 0:17:13One minute.

0:17:17 > 0:17:21Give me a C, Becks.

0:17:21 > 0:17:25I don't actually particularly want to.

0:17:25 > 0:17:27Are you going to ruin Christmas?

0:17:30 > 0:17:33SHE HUMS A C

0:17:33 > 0:17:35LAURA HUMS THE SAME NOTE

0:17:37 > 0:17:39Thanks.

0:17:39 > 0:17:40A-hem.

0:17:40 > 0:17:43Happy Christmas, Dan. That's quite a beard you've got there.

0:17:43 > 0:17:45Thank you.

0:17:45 > 0:17:48You poor thing, living above this reprobate.

0:17:48 > 0:17:52I bet it's all wine, women and song round here, if I know my son!

0:17:52 > 0:17:55Yes! It is! It's wild!

0:17:55 > 0:17:57I don't know who he takes after!

0:17:59 > 0:18:01And who's this?

0:18:01 > 0:18:03I'm Shelly.

0:18:03 > 0:18:07You didn't tell me about Shelly, Steve!

0:18:07 > 0:18:11Be still, my beating heart!

0:18:11 > 0:18:12But seriously, Shelly.

0:18:12 > 0:18:16It's always nice to meet a friend of my son's but it's even better

0:18:16 > 0:18:19when she's an absolute, 100%, bona fide stunner.

0:18:23 > 0:18:26Happy Christmas, darling. Lovely to meet you.

0:18:27 > 0:18:30Ooh. Don't mind if I do!

0:18:34 > 0:18:39# I'm walking in the air-r-r-r-r-r-r-r... #

0:18:39 > 0:18:42Go on.

0:18:43 > 0:18:47# I'm walking in the air. #

0:18:47 > 0:18:49"Air-r-r-r-r-r".

0:18:49 > 0:18:51"Air-r-r-r-r-r".

0:18:51 > 0:18:53You're flat, Becks.

0:18:53 > 0:18:55"Air-r-r-r."

0:18:55 > 0:18:57"Air-r-r-r."

0:18:58 > 0:18:59Don't.

0:18:59 > 0:19:02One more time.

0:19:02 > 0:19:03"Air-r-r-r-r."

0:19:05 > 0:19:06"Air-r-r-r-r."

0:19:06 > 0:19:08That was sharp.

0:19:08 > 0:19:10Laura! I've got a present for you!

0:19:10 > 0:19:12It'll be shit.

0:19:15 > 0:19:18Presents! Presents! Presents! Presents!

0:19:18 > 0:19:20I love Christmas.

0:19:20 > 0:19:23I am so fucking happy that it's Christmas.

0:19:23 > 0:19:24Happy Christmas, Laura.

0:19:24 > 0:19:26Aaaaah. Thanks so much, Shelly.

0:19:26 > 0:19:31You've got to be careful with Shelly, if you criticise her, she spazzes out.

0:19:31 > 0:19:33It's from me, Kieran and Dan.

0:19:33 > 0:19:36Aw. That's so nice. Thanks, Shell.

0:19:36 > 0:19:37Thanks, Kieran.

0:19:37 > 0:19:39Give her our one, Paul.

0:19:40 > 0:19:43Ho-ho-ho. Merry Christmas.

0:19:55 > 0:19:58Oh, that's nice, Shell.

0:19:58 > 0:20:00That is lovely.

0:20:00 > 0:20:01What a lovely present.

0:20:01 > 0:20:03Yeah, I like that, yeah.

0:20:06 > 0:20:08Do you like it, Laura?

0:20:08 > 0:20:09Yeah. It's nice.

0:20:09 > 0:20:11It's an antique.

0:20:11 > 0:20:13Mmm. An antique, great!

0:20:14 > 0:20:16I thought you could wear it for your "Something old" as your

0:20:16 > 0:20:21"Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue."

0:20:21 > 0:20:24Mmm, I'll do that. I'll definitely, definitely do that.

0:20:27 > 0:20:29Can I take a photo of you wearing it?

0:20:29 > 0:20:30No.

0:20:34 > 0:20:37Oh, how lovely.

0:20:37 > 0:20:38Thanks, Laura.

0:20:38 > 0:20:41I just think it's better to let someone get what

0:20:41 > 0:20:45they want rather than giving them something they'll never wear.

0:20:45 > 0:20:46Who wants to sing?

0:20:48 > 0:20:50Becky does.

0:20:50 > 0:20:52Yay! Go Becks!

0:20:53 > 0:20:55Laura, can I have a go on that?

0:20:55 > 0:20:57Testing, testing. 1-2, 1-2.

0:20:58 > 0:21:00Testing 2-2.

0:21:00 > 0:21:02Did you bring the champagne, Shell?

0:21:02 > 0:21:04Erm, yeah.

0:21:04 > 0:21:05Champagne!

0:21:08 > 0:21:10Let's have it then, don't be a Scrooge.

0:21:10 > 0:21:12Yeah, don't be a Scrooge, Shelly.

0:21:12 > 0:21:15Laura. It's not good for the baby, remember.

0:21:15 > 0:21:16He'll like it, it's fizzy.

0:21:16 > 0:21:18You can have one glass.

0:21:18 > 0:21:19Oh, Paul,

0:21:19 > 0:21:23when have you ever known me to have one glass of anything?

0:21:23 > 0:21:25I'll just get this off and then we can...

0:21:28 > 0:21:31Wha-hay!

0:21:31 > 0:21:33Lovely.

0:21:33 > 0:21:36Mmm. Pour it.

0:21:36 > 0:21:37Pour it! Pour it!

0:21:37 > 0:21:40Pour it! Pour it!

0:21:41 > 0:21:44Could you show me where the glasses are?

0:21:44 > 0:21:46Yep.

0:21:46 > 0:21:48Bring in my Christmas crackers, yeah?

0:21:48 > 0:21:51Will do.

0:21:51 > 0:21:54I've got these amazing crackers, Shell, they've got whistles in them.

0:21:54 > 0:21:56Right, who wants to sing?

0:21:56 > 0:21:58CHEERING

0:21:58 > 0:22:00< PAUL: I can't believe it's gone three

0:22:00 > 0:22:02< and I'm still not wearing a paper hat.

0:22:04 > 0:22:07I think I'll head off after this.

0:22:07 > 0:22:09- Oh, no. Really?- Yeah.

0:22:10 > 0:22:12That's a shame.

0:22:20 > 0:22:22This is good stuff.

0:22:22 > 0:22:25- Yeah?- Yeah.

0:22:25 > 0:22:26Very nice.

0:22:26 > 0:22:28Yeah.

0:22:31 > 0:22:34That Shelly's a good-looking girl, isn't she?

0:22:34 > 0:22:36Yeah. She's nice.

0:22:36 > 0:22:37Yeah.

0:22:47 > 0:22:49Great. Thanks.

0:22:49 > 0:22:50Do you recycle?

0:22:50 > 0:22:52Nah.

0:22:56 > 0:22:59Right then. Upwards and onwards!

0:23:01 > 0:23:03I should probably get going, then.

0:23:03 > 0:23:05It was nice to see you.

0:23:05 > 0:23:07Yeah. It's great.

0:23:07 > 0:23:09It's great to see you.

0:23:09 > 0:23:11Happy Christmas!

0:23:11 > 0:23:14Yes! Happy Christmas! Great times!

0:23:16 > 0:23:20I, erm, I got you something.

0:23:20 > 0:23:22It's only little.

0:23:22 > 0:23:25I didn't want to give it to you in front of everyone else.

0:23:25 > 0:23:26You didn't need to get me anything.

0:23:28 > 0:23:31I didn't have any paper.

0:23:31 > 0:23:32Thanks.

0:23:48 > 0:23:50I used to read it to you.

0:23:52 > 0:23:54I know you did.

0:23:57 > 0:23:59They had it on Amazon.

0:24:05 > 0:24:07Oh, don't do that, Steve.

0:24:10 > 0:24:13Oh, come on. Don't do that.

0:24:24 > 0:24:26Thanks.

0:24:27 > 0:24:30It's just something silly.

0:24:35 > 0:24:37What are you doing for the rest of the day?

0:24:37 > 0:24:40Oh, you know. I've got some bits and pieces to do.

0:24:40 > 0:24:42I've got to phone Suzanne. Goldeneye's on.

0:24:45 > 0:24:46You?

0:24:46 > 0:24:49We're going round Becky's parents' for tea.

0:24:49 > 0:24:51Oh...

0:24:51 > 0:24:52Yeah...

0:24:52 > 0:24:53Not good?

0:24:55 > 0:24:58What are they like?

0:24:58 > 0:25:00Her dad's such a prick.

0:25:00 > 0:25:02Is he?

0:25:02 > 0:25:04You'd hate him.

0:25:04 > 0:25:05What does your mum think?

0:25:05 > 0:25:07She hates him more than I do.

0:25:07 > 0:25:10I look forward to meeting him!

0:25:12 > 0:25:14So what time are you going round there?

0:25:14 > 0:25:16Six.

0:25:19 > 0:25:24I suppose I could stay till then. If you didn't mind?

0:25:24 > 0:25:27No, of course not. It'd be nice.

0:25:27 > 0:25:28Yeah?

0:25:30 > 0:25:31Yeah.

0:25:33 > 0:25:34Thanks. Thank you.

0:25:35 > 0:25:38< KARAOKE STARTS UP

0:25:38 > 0:25:40Oh god, that...

0:25:42 > 0:25:47# Are you hanging up your stocking on your wall... #

0:25:47 > 0:25:48- Becks!- I'm all right. You carry on.

0:25:48 > 0:25:49Come on!

0:25:49 > 0:25:54# It's the time that every Santa has a ball. #

0:25:54 > 0:25:55Becks - harmonies!

0:25:55 > 0:25:57In a minute, yeah?

0:25:57 > 0:26:00# Does he ride a red nosed reindeer?

0:26:00 > 0:26:04# Does a ton-up on his sleigh

0:26:04 > 0:26:08# Do the fairies keep him sober for a day? #

0:26:10 > 0:26:11Come on Becks! It's the chorus, baby!

0:26:11 > 0:26:17# So here it is, merry Christmas Everybody's having fun. #

0:26:18 > 0:26:19Let Becky do a solo!

0:26:19 > 0:26:21Steve!

0:26:21 > 0:26:24# Look to the future now It's only just begun. #

0:26:24 > 0:26:26Solo! Solo!

0:26:27 > 0:26:29Solo! Solo!

0:26:32 > 0:26:36# Are you waiting for the family to arrive? #

0:26:36 > 0:26:39Louder, Becks. Use your diaphragm.

0:26:39 > 0:26:44# Are you sure you've got the room to spare inside? #

0:26:44 > 0:26:47You should hear yourself, Becks. You sound fucking awful!

0:26:47 > 0:26:49You take over, I'm not as good as you.

0:26:49 > 0:26:53I think we can all hear that!

0:26:53 > 0:26:54You little bastard!

0:26:57 > 0:27:02# So, here it is, merry Christmas Everybody's having fun... #

0:27:08 > 0:27:12# Come closer, come closer and listen

0:27:12 > 0:27:16# The beat of my heart keeps on missing

0:27:16 > 0:27:20# I notice it most when we're kissing

0:27:20 > 0:27:22# Come closer and love me tonight

0:27:23 > 0:27:28# Come closer and cuddle me tight

0:27:28 > 0:27:32# My heart goes boom-bang-a-bang when you are near

0:27:33 > 0:27:36# Boom-bang-a-bang all the time

0:27:36 > 0:27:41# It's such a lovely feeling

0:27:41 > 0:27:45# When I'm in your arms

0:27:45 > 0:27:47# Don't go away, I want to stay

0:27:47 > 0:27:48# My whole life through

0:27:48 > 0:27:50# Boom-bang-a-bang

0:27:50 > 0:27:51# Close to you. #

0:27:51 > 0:27:53Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd