0:00:02 > 0:00:04# Have I the right to hold you?
0:00:04 > 0:00:07# You know I've always told you
0:00:07 > 0:00:11# I've loved you from the very start
0:00:13 > 0:00:17# Well, come right back I just can't bear it
0:00:17 > 0:00:20# I got some love and I long to share it
0:00:20 > 0:00:25# Come right back Right back where you belong
0:00:25 > 0:00:28# Oh, yeah, you belong. #
0:00:36 > 0:00:38SHE HUMS TO HERSELF
0:00:50 > 0:00:52SHE SIGHS
0:00:52 > 0:00:54Jars and bottles, plastic bottles. Ah!
0:00:57 > 0:00:58Tops, tops...
0:01:20 > 0:01:22SHE SIGHS
0:01:24 > 0:01:26SHE SIGHS
0:01:50 > 0:01:54- Do you consider yourself a tree lover?- Oh, it's you.
0:01:54 > 0:01:56And my morning's been going so well.
0:01:57 > 0:01:59A tree lover?
0:01:59 > 0:02:02Well, I see you performing your civic duty by, er...
0:02:02 > 0:02:05..letting him fertilise this tree here.
0:02:05 > 0:02:07Where did you ever get that idea?
0:02:07 > 0:02:10Well, has it ever occurred to you that a steady diet of dog poo
0:02:10 > 0:02:14and dog pee might not be beneficial to a tree? You know,
0:02:14 > 0:02:17might actually harm it?
0:02:17 > 0:02:21No, I can in all honestly say it never has, no. Never.
0:02:21 > 0:02:25Which could be why this particular tree's lost its
0:02:25 > 0:02:27snap, crackle and pop.
0:02:27 > 0:02:29I don't think you should worry
0:02:29 > 0:02:31your already overburdened head with any of this.
0:02:31 > 0:02:32I think we can leave the dogs
0:02:32 > 0:02:35and the trees to sort all this out amongst themselves.
0:02:35 > 0:02:40This from Professor Dugdale, head of symbiotic tree
0:02:40 > 0:02:44and dog studies at the "Do The Bears Defecate In The Woods?" Institute.
0:02:44 > 0:02:48No, I'd say you're a man in need of a holiday.
0:02:48 > 0:02:50So would I, so would I.
0:02:50 > 0:02:53Yes. Well, good to see you. Keep up the good work.
0:02:57 > 0:02:59And don't stop feeding the dog.
0:03:10 > 0:03:13Oh! Morning, Phil.
0:03:18 > 0:03:20Bloody Dugdale.
0:03:20 > 0:03:23He's very regular.
0:03:23 > 0:03:24Yes, he is.
0:03:24 > 0:03:25So's his dog.
0:03:25 > 0:03:27SHE CHUCKLES
0:03:27 > 0:03:32More exciting hints... on recycling etiquette.
0:03:32 > 0:03:35Yes, all changed again.
0:03:35 > 0:03:37- You must have had one, too. - Yes, I did.
0:03:37 > 0:03:40Newspapers must not co-mingle with kitchen paper.
0:03:40 > 0:03:43Co-mingle, eh?
0:03:43 > 0:03:45- Let me put the kettle on.- OK.
0:03:45 > 0:03:47"Let me put the kettle on."
0:03:49 > 0:03:51You make it sound so alluring.
0:03:51 > 0:03:55- Oh, shut up and have a biscuit. - All right.
0:03:59 > 0:04:01Edith...
0:04:01 > 0:04:05- I'm not sure, Phil, I really don't know.- Why, what was I going to say?
0:04:05 > 0:04:08Well, what you always say when you eat the first biscuit.
0:04:08 > 0:04:10Well, that's why you make the biscuits -
0:04:10 > 0:04:12it's to start our usual conversation.
0:04:13 > 0:04:14So how about it?
0:04:16 > 0:04:19Look, if we were married I wouldn't have to cross the road
0:04:19 > 0:04:21every day, would I?
0:04:21 > 0:04:23What other advantages would there be?
0:04:23 > 0:04:25Apart from you not having to cross the road?
0:04:25 > 0:04:28Well, I've told you, we'd pool our resources.
0:04:28 > 0:04:29I'd sell my house, you'd sell yours,
0:04:29 > 0:04:34and we can buy a place in the sun in another country.
0:04:34 > 0:04:37- It could give us ten more years. - Or finish us off.
0:04:37 > 0:04:41Why are you being so timid? You never used to be timid.
0:04:41 > 0:04:43When we were young... Hm-hm!
0:04:43 > 0:04:46- I wouldn't like to die abroad. - Who's dying?
0:04:46 > 0:04:50- I don't imagine we're going to live forever.- You're quite wrong.
0:04:50 > 0:04:55Due to medical science, I am now over 25% titanium.
0:04:55 > 0:04:58- Better than I've ever been. - Oh, dear.
0:04:58 > 0:05:01Droves of bionic crumblies all wandering about
0:05:01 > 0:05:04trying to remember where we put our bus passes.
0:05:05 > 0:05:09- You should have married me in the first place.- You never asked me.
0:05:09 > 0:05:13Well, that was your mother. She thought I was no good.
0:05:13 > 0:05:14Very perspicacious, my mum.
0:05:16 > 0:05:17Hm.
0:05:24 > 0:05:26SHE GRUNTS
0:05:46 > 0:05:48Colin was a good bloke.
0:05:48 > 0:05:49And you were happy with Celia.
0:05:49 > 0:05:51Mm! Mm!
0:05:51 > 0:05:53Alternate days.
0:05:53 > 0:05:54I am old now.
0:05:54 > 0:05:56I'm ancient. I'm on my own.
0:05:56 > 0:05:58I need rescuing by you.
0:05:58 > 0:06:01On your own? You're here most of the time!
0:06:01 > 0:06:04Well, I want to be here all of the time, I want us
0:06:04 > 0:06:07to get married, I'm... I'm... I'm very conventional, you know?
0:06:07 > 0:06:10I'm not like you used to be - a hippie.
0:06:10 > 0:06:12I was never a hippie. I was...
0:06:12 > 0:06:15- I was a mod if I was anything.- Mod!
0:06:15 > 0:06:16THEY LAUGH
0:06:22 > 0:06:23I can't do this much more.
0:06:36 > 0:06:37Was it something I said?
0:06:39 > 0:06:40Probably.
0:06:40 > 0:06:41Usually is.
0:06:43 > 0:06:46Listen, I... I won't do this any more, I promise.
0:06:46 > 0:06:48You... You... You're right, it's time just...
0:06:50 > 0:06:52..to let it go.
0:06:52 > 0:06:54Let it go? Oh, dear.
0:06:57 > 0:06:59Are you kidding?
0:06:59 > 0:07:01Is this what I think it is?
0:07:01 > 0:07:03Oh, thank God!
0:07:05 > 0:07:06You planned this - you knew all along!
0:07:06 > 0:07:09Well, not planned exactly, not all along.
0:07:09 > 0:07:12Bloody hell, you got me then!
0:07:12 > 0:07:15- I'll never trust you again.- You once accused me of being reckless.
0:07:15 > 0:07:18Well, if this is reckless, bring it on!
0:07:18 > 0:07:19Ohh!
0:07:19 > 0:07:20DOORBELL
0:07:21 > 0:07:23Don't get it. No, don't...
0:07:23 > 0:07:25HE GROANS
0:07:27 > 0:07:28HE LAUGHS
0:07:30 > 0:07:33- Hello, Mum.- Roger! Hello, dear.
0:07:33 > 0:07:35- Where are you off to? - I've come home.
0:07:35 > 0:07:40- Home?- I've left Wendy, that's it, it's over.- What?- I've left her.
0:07:40 > 0:07:43Left her? But what about the children?
0:07:43 > 0:07:46I've especially left them.
0:07:46 > 0:07:49- Something must have happened. - Stuff, Mum.- Stuff?
0:07:49 > 0:07:50Yeah, and then some.
0:07:50 > 0:07:54I mean, we had kids, we spent nearly 20 years together.
0:07:54 > 0:07:57Well, that can't be it. That can't be all.
0:07:57 > 0:07:59Quite enough for me!
0:08:02 > 0:08:04What are you going to do?
0:08:04 > 0:08:07And seriously, what about Jason and Jennifer?
0:08:07 > 0:08:10- Oh, Mum, don't go all sentimental on me.- They're your children!
0:08:10 > 0:08:12No, they're almost entirely Wendy's.
0:08:12 > 0:08:14I only contribute to the colour of their hair.
0:08:14 > 0:08:17And Jason's shaved his off and Jane, she's dyed hers orange.
0:08:17 > 0:08:20- But teenagers are always difficult. - Yeah, evidently.
0:08:20 > 0:08:24- They'll grow out of it. - I might be dead by then.- Oh, dear.
0:08:24 > 0:08:28Don't worry, Mum, it's OK. It's better this way.
0:08:28 > 0:08:31- I'm feeling happier already. - When did you decide to leave?
0:08:31 > 0:08:34About 19 years ago. Still, better late than never.
0:08:34 > 0:08:37I'll just take this stuff up to my bedroom.
0:08:39 > 0:08:40Love a cup of tea, Mum.
0:08:40 > 0:08:42- I'll put the kettle on.- Oh, great.
0:08:42 > 0:08:44Oh!
0:08:46 > 0:08:49- No work today, then? - Oh, packed it in.
0:08:49 > 0:08:53- What?- I handed in my notice. - You didn't.- This morning.- Roger!
0:08:53 > 0:08:57- I want to do something else. - What?- I don't know...
0:08:58 > 0:09:01- I'm waiting for inspiration. A sign. - A sign?
0:09:01 > 0:09:03Something'll come up.
0:09:03 > 0:09:06What? And when? And what are you going to live on?
0:09:06 > 0:09:08I've got a few savings.
0:09:10 > 0:09:11Enough for a few months.
0:09:11 > 0:09:13God, it's great to be home, Mum.
0:09:13 > 0:09:14I can't tell you!
0:09:14 > 0:09:16Whoo!
0:09:16 > 0:09:17HE LAUGHS
0:09:20 > 0:09:22Phil's here. Phil from across the road.
0:09:22 > 0:09:24Didn't he die?
0:09:24 > 0:09:26No, he dropped in for a cup of tea.
0:09:26 > 0:09:30- Oh, he's in the habit of doing that, is he?- Well, yes, yes, he is.
0:09:30 > 0:09:32Yes, he's a... He's a good friend.
0:09:32 > 0:09:34He's... He's company.
0:09:34 > 0:09:36You've got me for company now, haven't you, Mum?
0:09:36 > 0:09:38It'll be just like old times.
0:09:41 > 0:09:42Got any biscuits?
0:09:42 > 0:09:43I... I just made some.
0:09:43 > 0:09:48Fantastic. You see? Ha-ha! You knew I was coming!
0:09:53 > 0:09:54Are there any biscuits left?
0:09:54 > 0:09:57Yeah, a few. Are you all right?
0:09:57 > 0:10:00- I'm not sure.- Well, who was that?
0:10:00 > 0:10:02Roger. He's come home.
0:10:02 > 0:10:04- Home?- That's what he says.
0:10:04 > 0:10:07He says he's left Wendy and come home.
0:10:07 > 0:10:10And he's left his job in the bank.
0:10:11 > 0:10:13He's not bringing the kids, is he?
0:10:13 > 0:10:15No, he says he's especially left them.
0:10:15 > 0:10:18Thank God - last time they were here they scratched my car.
0:10:18 > 0:10:23- It's a bit of a blow, isn't it?- Yes, yes, it is. So what are his plans?
0:10:23 > 0:10:26I'm not sure he's got any other than to come here.
0:10:26 > 0:10:29But he can't... He can't stay here. I mean, we're going away.
0:10:29 > 0:10:31- It won't be for long. - Certainly won't.
0:10:31 > 0:10:35- Well, I can't refuse him, can I? - Of course you can refuse him.
0:10:35 > 0:10:37Of course you can. You know what's going to happen, right?
0:10:37 > 0:10:41You'll be shopping and cooking and washing and...and...
0:10:41 > 0:10:43..and ironing before you know what's going on.
0:10:43 > 0:10:47- I shouldn't think so.- Oh, I know you, Edith, you're too NICE.
0:10:47 > 0:10:50- You mean a pushover? - No, no.
0:10:50 > 0:10:52No, you're... You're kind.
0:10:52 > 0:10:56That's what I love about you. You've got to give him an ultimatum.
0:10:56 > 0:10:57You know...
0:10:57 > 0:11:00Two weeks and out.
0:11:00 > 0:11:01Well, we'll see.
0:11:03 > 0:11:04SPOONS CLATTER DOWN
0:11:05 > 0:11:07You don't WANT him to come back here, do you?
0:11:07 > 0:11:09What makes you think that?
0:11:09 > 0:11:13- You might be thinking... "he's my son".- Well, he is.
0:11:13 > 0:11:15Yeah, I know, but there are limits.
0:11:15 > 0:11:18I can still see him in that little red pedal car with his silly hat on.
0:11:18 > 0:11:19Edith, please.
0:11:22 > 0:11:27- Don't let this change your mind about us.- No!
0:11:27 > 0:11:30Oh, no, I wouldn't do that. My mind's made up.
0:11:33 > 0:11:36- Hello, Phil.- Hello, Roger!
0:11:36 > 0:11:39- Mum...- Oh, just leave them on the chair, I'll do them later.
0:11:39 > 0:11:41Thanks, Mum.
0:11:41 > 0:11:42HE GROANS
0:11:44 > 0:11:47- Oh, back trouble?- No, no, no, that's the least of my worries.
0:11:47 > 0:11:51So, we've just been talking about your domestic...
0:11:51 > 0:11:53Oh, yeah, yeah. Mum told you?
0:11:53 > 0:11:55Yeah, have you tried counselling?
0:11:55 > 0:11:57Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Hopeless.
0:11:57 > 0:11:59Once a week for two months.
0:11:59 > 0:12:01Dr Duckworth.
0:12:01 > 0:12:03I mean, Wendy thought he was wonderful, of course.
0:12:03 > 0:12:04It was hopeless.
0:12:04 > 0:12:07- The main problem was he was trying to save the marriage.- Ah!
0:12:07 > 0:12:10If he'd have listened to me in the first place, then...
0:12:10 > 0:12:12You found Dad's old dressing down!
0:12:12 > 0:12:15I'd been going to cut it up for dusters, just never got round to it.
0:12:20 > 0:12:22Yes. Have some biscuits.
0:12:32 > 0:12:35Mum. Have you seen my gear?
0:12:35 > 0:12:36What gear, dear?
0:12:36 > 0:12:40Well, my Scalextrics, my Matchbox vintage car collection, my comics.
0:12:40 > 0:12:42Oh, those things. Oh, they've gone.
0:12:42 > 0:12:45- Gone?- Years ago.- Gone where?
0:12:45 > 0:12:47Well, Dad had a big clear out.
0:12:47 > 0:12:49- What?- When he did the rewiring.
0:12:49 > 0:12:54- So where are they? What did he do with them?- I can't remember.- Mum!
0:12:54 > 0:12:55- It was ages ago.- Mum.
0:12:55 > 0:12:57Erm...
0:12:57 > 0:13:02- I think he might have given them to the charity shop.- The charity shop?
0:13:02 > 0:13:05Yes, you know, Oxfam or the animal one.
0:13:05 > 0:13:07Dad gave my comics to Oxfam?
0:13:07 > 0:13:10Well, they've been there a long time.
0:13:10 > 0:13:12Well... That's my collection!
0:13:12 > 0:13:14Well, there did seem to be rather a lot of them.
0:13:14 > 0:13:17Exactly, well, that's the point, that's what collections are,
0:13:17 > 0:13:18aren't they?
0:13:18 > 0:13:22They're quantities of things saved and left to mature somewhere...
0:13:22 > 0:13:24..somewhere safe.
0:13:24 > 0:13:27So that you can find them for later when you want them.
0:13:27 > 0:13:31But you don't lovingly spend years collecting things
0:13:31 > 0:13:33and putting them somewhere safe and out of the way so that just
0:13:33 > 0:13:36at the point when they become really valuable they can be chucked out!
0:13:36 > 0:13:38Oh, they weren't chucked out!
0:13:38 > 0:13:40Thrown away. Bloody hell!
0:13:40 > 0:13:42- Oh, Roger!- What?- Oh, grow up!
0:13:42 > 0:13:45- It's all right.- It's not all right.
0:13:45 > 0:13:47It's all right for you. Hm?
0:13:47 > 0:13:52I had every Beano and Dandy from 1964 to '72 in mint condition -
0:13:52 > 0:13:54a priceless collection.
0:13:54 > 0:13:57- It was worth thousands.- Oh, dear.
0:13:57 > 0:13:59Not the thousands, a couple of hundred at most!
0:14:01 > 0:14:04The Scalextric and the vintage car collection were...as good as new.
0:14:04 > 0:14:08They made millions of them. My David had one.
0:14:08 > 0:14:09I mean, they're worthless.
0:14:09 > 0:14:12Yes, well, I wouldn't expect you to understand
0:14:12 > 0:14:14the significance of cultural and social ephemera.
0:14:14 > 0:14:17- Oh, why wouldn't I? - It's social history.
0:14:17 > 0:14:20I'm writing a book on the seminal influence of The Bash Street Kids.
0:14:20 > 0:14:22I haven't started it yet, but I'm going to.
0:14:22 > 0:14:24HE GUFFAWS
0:14:26 > 0:14:28I wouldn't have missed this for the whole world.
0:14:29 > 0:14:31Roger?
0:14:31 > 0:14:33I'm going round to see Annie.
0:14:33 > 0:14:35- Annie?- Next door.- Annie Harris?
0:14:35 > 0:14:37Annie Harris.
0:14:37 > 0:14:40Well, she went to Canada years and years ago -
0:14:40 > 0:14:42just before you started at St Edmund's.
0:14:42 > 0:14:46- I need to see her.- What for? - I should have married her.
0:14:46 > 0:14:48- You were only seven.- That's right.
0:14:50 > 0:14:51We were innocent.
0:14:52 > 0:14:56And that's how I know it was genuine. True and pure.
0:14:56 > 0:14:58It was the real thing.
0:14:58 > 0:15:01Ye Gods.
0:15:01 > 0:15:03- We were made for each other.- Oh.
0:15:03 > 0:15:05I used to sneak out and see her, then climb back in through the...
0:15:05 > 0:15:08..through the little window in the sitting room.
0:15:08 > 0:15:09Oh? Did you?
0:15:11 > 0:15:12And she felt the same way as I did.
0:15:14 > 0:15:19Unfortunately, events intervened and tore us apart.
0:15:20 > 0:15:23Otherwise it would have all been quite different
0:15:23 > 0:15:25and I wouldn't be standing here today.
0:15:25 > 0:15:28- Oh?- No, I'd be in Canada.
0:15:28 > 0:15:33Running my own TV station or my own international shipping company.
0:15:33 > 0:15:37Or Prime Minister - I mean, don't sell yourself short.
0:15:40 > 0:15:41Roger!
0:15:43 > 0:15:44SHE SIGHS HEAVILY
0:15:44 > 0:15:49- He's not right, is he? - He's unhappy.- Well, who's happy?
0:15:49 > 0:15:50TYRES SCREECH
0:15:50 > 0:15:52What now?
0:15:52 > 0:15:56It's Wendy. She just drove past.
0:15:56 > 0:15:59I thought I heard somebody go by in second gear with a handbrake on.
0:15:59 > 0:16:02Yeah, she's checking out the house.
0:16:02 > 0:16:05She'll park out of sight and then walk straight back.
0:16:05 > 0:16:08You know, sort of typically sneaky behaviour.
0:16:08 > 0:16:10Don't tell her that I'm here.
0:16:10 > 0:16:12Roger, you've got to talk to her.
0:16:12 > 0:16:16No, I can't. I can't even be in the same room as her.
0:16:16 > 0:16:17Oh, don't be ridiculous.
0:16:17 > 0:16:20With that little smile of hers.
0:16:20 > 0:16:22Oh, Wendy's got a lovely smile.
0:16:22 > 0:16:24Yeah, not when you're on the sharp end of it.
0:16:24 > 0:16:26And not when it's intended to destroy your soul
0:16:26 > 0:16:30and to squeeze every drop out of you and to freeze dry your brain.
0:16:30 > 0:16:31Roger!
0:16:31 > 0:16:34You see, people think I exaggerate, which makes it harder to bear,
0:16:34 > 0:16:38of course. But I am determined to be strong.
0:16:38 > 0:16:39DOORBELL
0:16:39 > 0:16:42- I'm not here.- You've got to see her!
0:16:42 > 0:16:44Bloody hell.
0:16:46 > 0:16:49- I'll be in the shed.- Right. - Don't tell her that.
0:16:49 > 0:16:50Of course not.
0:16:50 > 0:16:53Now, you help me out a bit here, Phil, and I might return the favour.
0:16:53 > 0:16:56- Gotcha.- Oh, go on through. He's in the kitchen.- Oh, hello, Wendy.
0:16:56 > 0:17:00Hello, Phil. Where's Roger?
0:17:00 > 0:17:02- He's in the shed.- Oh, right.
0:17:02 > 0:17:04Avoiding me, no doubt. How are you, Phil?
0:17:04 > 0:17:07- Well, I'm very well, thank you. - And your back's better?- Yes, yes.
0:17:07 > 0:17:11- Well, better than it was.- Oh, good. I'm very glad.- Yeah, me too.
0:17:11 > 0:17:13- And you won't have to have surgery? - No, no.
0:17:13 > 0:17:14Well, that's a blessing, isn't it?
0:17:14 > 0:17:16Well, they don't always work, do they, these operations?
0:17:16 > 0:17:19- Not always, no.- And when they do you can't be sure you won't catch
0:17:19 > 0:17:21one of those dreadful infections, can you?
0:17:21 > 0:17:24That's right, and you go to Switzerland, you know, to recuperate
0:17:24 > 0:17:27in a sanatorium, and you get hit by a passing snowboarder and then
0:17:27 > 0:17:31you lose a leg in the subsequent botched emergency surgery.
0:17:33 > 0:17:36Well, if you need...any help with anything, anything at all.
0:17:36 > 0:17:39- That's very kind of you.- No, really. I mean it.- Yes, I know you do.
0:17:39 > 0:17:43- Where's Roger?- Oh, in the shed. He doesn't want to see me, does he?
0:17:43 > 0:17:44Uh...
0:17:44 > 0:17:48Well, we have some serious things to talk about later, Edith,
0:17:48 > 0:17:51so I'll just pop the bubbly in the fridge.
0:17:51 > 0:17:52- Right.- Just for the moment.
0:17:52 > 0:17:54Have I come at an inconvenient time?
0:17:54 > 0:17:57Well, you know, I think inconvenient...
0:17:57 > 0:17:58..is an extremely good word.
0:17:58 > 0:18:01You know, because we were there celebrating
0:18:01 > 0:18:03the pleasures of tranquillity
0:18:03 > 0:18:07and quietness and peace, and enjoying the time together alone.
0:18:07 > 0:18:09Phil, later.
0:18:09 > 0:18:11- Oh, please don't go on my account! - No, no, no.
0:18:11 > 0:18:14- I've got to paint my lawn.- Oh.
0:18:14 > 0:18:16Otherwise the barnacles start building up.
0:18:16 > 0:18:19- Well, if you need any help... - No, no. I'll manage.
0:18:19 > 0:18:23- I only need one coat.- Phil, would you mind telling Roger Wendy's here?
0:18:23 > 0:18:27- He won't come in.- Well, of course he will.- No, no, he won't. He hates me.
0:18:27 > 0:18:32- He doesn't hate you.- He does - he said it often enough.
0:18:32 > 0:18:34We all say things we don't mean in the heat of the moment.
0:18:34 > 0:18:36Well, he said it in the heat of the moment
0:18:36 > 0:18:38and then subsequently in several periods of calm.
0:18:38 > 0:18:42- Total calm.- I used to hate my brother Joe.- Did you really?
0:18:42 > 0:18:44- Yeah, back then. - Oh, but not now?- Not now.
0:18:44 > 0:18:46Oh, well, that's nice to hear.
0:18:46 > 0:18:50I consulted a witch doctor and he gave me a small wax replica
0:18:50 > 0:18:54of Joe and I used to push drawing pins into it over the weekend.
0:18:54 > 0:18:57Eventually a tree fell on him.
0:18:57 > 0:18:58Oh!
0:18:58 > 0:19:00Phil...
0:19:00 > 0:19:01OK.
0:19:02 > 0:19:04See you later.
0:19:04 > 0:19:06DOOR CLOSES
0:19:06 > 0:19:10- Such a nice man. - Well, quite a nice man.
0:19:20 > 0:19:24- Would you like some coffee? - Oh, well... If you're having one.
0:19:24 > 0:19:26- I am.- Are you sure?- Absolutely.
0:19:26 > 0:19:30- Really, really?- Absolutely, positively.- Oh, well, OK, then.
0:19:30 > 0:19:32All right, I'll have one. Thank you. Only if you're having one.
0:19:32 > 0:19:33SHE SIGHS
0:19:36 > 0:19:40Wendy, I haven't had chance to talk to Roger about all this.
0:19:40 > 0:19:44- I'm sure he blames me.- I should think that's normal, isn't it?
0:19:44 > 0:19:47Par for the course. I should think you probably blame him, don't you?
0:19:47 > 0:19:52- Not really.- No?- Mainly I blame the way he was brought up.- Oh.- Yes.
0:19:52 > 0:19:56- You mean me?- Oh, good heavens, no. Absolutely not.
0:19:56 > 0:20:00No, I'm talking about the times. You know...
0:20:00 > 0:20:03Mothers used to spoil their sons in those days, didn't they?
0:20:03 > 0:20:04In those days?
0:20:04 > 0:20:07Well, there has been quite a lot of changes in the last 30 years.
0:20:07 > 0:20:09Sandra definitely thinks so.
0:20:10 > 0:20:14I should say that Roger and Sandra were both equally spoilt.
0:20:14 > 0:20:16That's not what Sandra says.
0:20:16 > 0:20:19She's sure that Roger was more spoilt than she was.
0:20:19 > 0:20:21- Well, she's wrong.- She's grateful now, of course.- Grateful?
0:20:21 > 0:20:24- She feels rather sorry for Roger. - Oh?
0:20:24 > 0:20:26She's got a better grip on reality than he has.
0:20:26 > 0:20:30She says he suffers from... delusional expectation syndrome.
0:20:31 > 0:20:35Well, I don't know what that means. There's nothing wrong with Roger.
0:20:35 > 0:20:40I should think he's just having a perfectly routine midlife crisis.
0:20:40 > 0:20:45I mean, he is nearly 50. We're all entitled to one of those, aren't we?
0:20:45 > 0:20:47I should think he needs a decent holiday.
0:20:47 > 0:20:49He's never stopped since the children were born,
0:20:49 > 0:20:52and you moved into that enormous house.
0:20:52 > 0:20:54KNOCKING
0:20:54 > 0:20:57- What? What is it?- I think you'd better call the fire brigade.
0:20:59 > 0:21:00What?
0:21:04 > 0:21:07- He's stuck.- Roger!
0:21:07 > 0:21:10Well and truly stuck.
0:21:10 > 0:21:12- Mum!- I'm coming.
0:21:12 > 0:21:14Ohh!
0:21:14 > 0:21:16I think it's got caught.
0:21:16 > 0:21:19- Scissors, scissors!- Why is he there?
0:21:19 > 0:21:22- What was he doing?- He's practising his housebreaking techniques.
0:21:22 > 0:21:26- Well, it's a good idea. He's got to get a new job soon.- What?
0:21:26 > 0:21:28- Hurry up, I can't breathe!- Oh!
0:21:28 > 0:21:33Wendy, Wendy, can you fetch me the kitchen steps, please? Quickly.
0:21:33 > 0:21:38- If you give me a shout I'll give him a push.- I don't want a push.
0:21:38 > 0:21:39What are you going to do?
0:21:39 > 0:21:41Cut it away. It's caught, you see.
0:21:41 > 0:21:44Well, don't do that. That's a perfectly good dressing gown.
0:21:44 > 0:21:47It's ancient! I was going to cut it up anyway!
0:21:47 > 0:21:49Just cut it away, cut it away!
0:21:49 > 0:21:50There are poor people out there
0:21:50 > 0:21:52- who'd be very glad of a dressing gown like that.- Poor people...
0:21:52 > 0:21:54Bugger poor people!
0:21:54 > 0:21:57- Why don't you worry about me for a change?!- Oh, Roger, how can you?
0:21:57 > 0:21:59I worry about you all the time.
0:21:59 > 0:22:02Now, if you were less selfish and thought about other people from time
0:22:02 > 0:22:05to time you might not get yourself into this kind of situation.
0:22:05 > 0:22:07I'm stuck in a window, you daft woman, and I can't breathe!
0:22:07 > 0:22:12- Roger, shut up and hold your breath! - Why are you stuck in the window?
0:22:12 > 0:22:14I can give him a push from this side, or I can come in there
0:22:14 > 0:22:16and you push him that way, but I can't pull.
0:22:16 > 0:22:20- You know, not with my back.- Yes. - No, don't push.- Oh?- No pushing.
0:22:20 > 0:22:23No pulling. Why don't you just go home, you old lecher?
0:22:24 > 0:22:28- Roger! He's trying to help! - You haven't answered me.- What?
0:22:28 > 0:22:30You tried to climb through the window to avoid me, didn't you?
0:22:30 > 0:22:33- What an outlandish idea. - Yes, you did.
0:22:33 > 0:22:35It was a trip down memory lane.
0:22:35 > 0:22:39- What?- This is the way I used to get back in after I'd been to see Annie.
0:22:40 > 0:22:41The musical?
0:22:41 > 0:22:43No, no, the woman I should have married.
0:22:43 > 0:22:46That's a cruel lie that will rebound on you, Roger.
0:22:46 > 0:22:48I'm truly sorry for you.
0:22:48 > 0:22:49- Bog off.- Look at you.
0:22:49 > 0:22:52You are surrounded by kind and decent people trying to help.
0:22:52 > 0:22:55There's Phil, who's half crippled, your mother who's far too old
0:22:55 > 0:22:57- and frail to be put through this sort of thing.- Wendy!
0:22:57 > 0:23:00No, it's all right, Edith. Someone's got to tell him how it is.
0:23:00 > 0:23:03I thought a squirt of washing up liquid would help.
0:23:03 > 0:23:05I thought we were supposed to be mates.
0:23:05 > 0:23:08This would all be a lot easier if we'd just shut up for a minute!
0:23:08 > 0:23:12What I don't understand is why you should try and climb in
0:23:12 > 0:23:15through this window when you could come in through the door.
0:23:15 > 0:23:18- What?- Or through a larger, more convenient window.
0:23:18 > 0:23:21- You just don't get it, do you? - Frankly, no.- This was an adventure.
0:23:21 > 0:23:25I was on a quest. Getting through the little window was part of it.
0:23:25 > 0:23:29- Some kids have imagination. - Oh! You were being creative.
0:23:29 > 0:23:32- That's one word for it.- Ah!
0:23:32 > 0:23:33Oh, no...
0:23:33 > 0:23:37Ahh! Ohh! I can breathe. Brilliant.
0:23:37 > 0:23:39- Thank you.- It's just typical of you, isn't it, Roger?
0:23:39 > 0:23:41Well, we all know what's going to happen next.
0:23:41 > 0:23:43The moment you're all right you'll clear off,
0:23:43 > 0:23:46leave everybody else upset and in need of counselling.
0:23:46 > 0:23:48And meanwhile, some unfortunate person -
0:23:48 > 0:23:51someone far worse off than you, who have been very glad of this -
0:23:51 > 0:23:54has to do without a perfectly good dressing gown.
0:23:54 > 0:23:58We don't care about the bloody dressing gown!
0:23:58 > 0:24:00It was an old worn-out dressing gown.
0:24:00 > 0:24:01No-one would have wanted it,
0:24:01 > 0:24:03no-one in their right mind would have wanted it!
0:24:03 > 0:24:07Now, why don't you just go home and leave Roger be?!
0:24:07 > 0:24:09SHE SOBS
0:24:09 > 0:24:12Sorry. I'm so sorry.
0:24:12 > 0:24:14MEN SNIGGER
0:24:15 > 0:24:17And you can stop grinning!
0:24:19 > 0:24:20Both of you!
0:24:28 > 0:24:32# Sun is shinin' in the sky
0:24:32 > 0:24:34# There ain't a cloud in sight
0:24:34 > 0:24:39# It's stopped rainin' Everybody's in the lane
0:24:39 > 0:24:40# And don't you know
0:24:40 > 0:24:45# It's a beautiful new day Hey, hey
0:24:45 > 0:24:47# Runnin' down the avenue
0:24:47 > 0:24:53# See how the sun shines brightly in the city
0:24:53 > 0:24:55# On the streets Where once was pity
0:24:55 > 0:25:00# Mr Blue Sky is living here today Hey, hey
0:25:02 > 0:25:04# Mr Blue Sky Please tell us why
0:25:04 > 0:25:09- # You had to hide away for so long - So long
0:25:09 > 0:25:11# Where did we go wrong?
0:25:12 > 0:25:15# Mr Blue Sky Please tell us why
0:25:15 > 0:25:20- # You had to hide away for so long - So long
0:25:20 > 0:25:22# Where did we go wrong? #
0:25:27 > 0:25:29Where did he go this afternoon?
0:25:29 > 0:25:34- Oh, to see if the community centre still looked the same.- Same as what?
0:25:34 > 0:25:39As when he once played Frederic in The Pirates Of Penzance there.
0:25:39 > 0:25:40- You're joking?- If only.
0:25:42 > 0:25:46And then he went to search for Marigold morning emulsion paint
0:25:46 > 0:25:49that they stopped making centuries ago.
0:25:49 > 0:25:51For what?
0:25:51 > 0:25:55So he could do up his room to look like it did when he was little.
0:25:56 > 0:26:02- It's all becoming rather alarming, isn't it?- Yes. Yes, it is.- Mm.
0:26:04 > 0:26:05HE SIGHS
0:26:05 > 0:26:06Cheers.
0:26:06 > 0:26:07SHE SIGHS
0:26:12 > 0:26:13SHE SIGHS
0:26:13 > 0:26:17- This is all pretty rotten timing, isn't it?- It's just awful.
0:26:17 > 0:26:19But nothing's really changed, has it?
0:26:19 > 0:26:24I mean, nothing's kind of... permanently happened.
0:26:24 > 0:26:25Well, something's happened.
0:26:25 > 0:26:27I'm trying to look on the bright side, Edith.
0:26:27 > 0:26:31Give me a hand, throw me a life belt.
0:26:31 > 0:26:35Oh, what, like, let's pretend we have no responsibilities
0:26:35 > 0:26:37and go off, never to be seen or heard of again?
0:26:37 > 0:26:39Perfect.
0:26:39 > 0:26:42I mean, look. Putting our lives on hold at this juncture
0:26:42 > 0:26:45when we've just made this wonderful decision -
0:26:45 > 0:26:48I mean, isn't really going to help anyone, is it?
0:26:48 > 0:26:53- Least of all Roger. - It wouldn't work. I'd be worrying.
0:26:53 > 0:26:55Well, at first, but...later?
0:26:55 > 0:26:59- I would. And so would you.- Try me.
0:26:59 > 0:27:00Look, Edith...
0:27:01 > 0:27:05Think of us somewhere far, far away
0:27:05 > 0:27:07sitting on a balcony
0:27:07 > 0:27:11looking out over the Mediterranean
0:27:11 > 0:27:14with our Pinot Grigios in our hands,
0:27:14 > 0:27:22sitting together watching the sun set slowly into the sea.
0:27:22 > 0:27:24Hm?