0:00:02 > 0:00:04# Have I the right to hold you?
0:00:04 > 0:00:07# You know I've always told you
0:00:07 > 0:00:11# I've loved you from the very start
0:00:13 > 0:00:17# Come right back, I just can't bear it
0:00:17 > 0:00:20# I've got some love and I long to share it
0:00:20 > 0:00:24# Come right back, right back where you belong
0:00:24 > 0:00:28# Oh, yeah, you belong. #
0:00:37 > 0:00:41Oh, my giddy aunt!
0:00:41 > 0:00:43Ugh.
0:00:45 > 0:00:48Queenie, have you seen the tray?
0:00:48 > 0:00:49Oh, under the sink.
0:00:49 > 0:00:53Ah! And the little blue milk jug?
0:00:53 > 0:00:56Oh, I thought that looked nice on the window ledge.
0:00:56 > 0:00:58Oh! And so it does.
0:00:58 > 0:01:02- Oh, dear.- It's all right, Queenie.
0:01:02 > 0:01:04Searching for everything in my own kitchen has given me
0:01:04 > 0:01:06a new lease of life.
0:01:11 > 0:01:14I wish you'd let me take it to the shop.
0:01:14 > 0:01:16No, they'll only try and sell you a new one.
0:01:16 > 0:01:20There's nothing wrong with this. It's just the plastic casing.
0:01:20 > 0:01:22- Is Roger about?- He's in the shed.
0:01:22 > 0:01:25How did he go on with his interview for the toy shop?
0:01:25 > 0:01:27They said they'd let him know.
0:01:27 > 0:01:30Oh... He'd be good in a toy shop.
0:01:30 > 0:01:33If he could put up with the management and the other staff
0:01:33 > 0:01:35and the regular hours
0:01:35 > 0:01:36and the customers.
0:01:36 > 0:01:39- I think you've hit the nail on the head.- He's very choosy.
0:01:39 > 0:01:42- Yes.- I told him I could get him a job any time.
0:01:42 > 0:01:45- With my nephew, Graham. - Oh?
0:01:45 > 0:01:47Yeah, gutting chickens.
0:01:47 > 0:01:49He wasn't interested.
0:01:49 > 0:01:51No, very choosy.
0:01:51 > 0:01:55I know you worry a lot about Roger.
0:01:55 > 0:01:58I do, Queenie. I do. He's being impossible,
0:01:58 > 0:02:01and now Wendy's pushing for a divorce,
0:02:01 > 0:02:03I can't see a happy ending.
0:02:03 > 0:02:05Would you like me to have a go?
0:02:05 > 0:02:07A go? In what way?
0:02:07 > 0:02:10I've been a marriage counsellor in my time.
0:02:10 > 0:02:12- Have you?- Years ago.
0:02:12 > 0:02:15- In Tasmania.- Really?!
0:02:15 > 0:02:17Well, I could give it a go.
0:02:17 > 0:02:20- They've had counselling.- Yeah, it was no good, though, was it?
0:02:20 > 0:02:24You know, there's too much counselling and not enough doing.
0:02:24 > 0:02:28And now, they expect a load of qualifications,
0:02:28 > 0:02:30which is totally unnecessary,
0:02:30 > 0:02:32if you know what you're on about.
0:02:32 > 0:02:33I think they've made up their minds.
0:02:33 > 0:02:37Well, "never say utterly hopeless" was my motto.
0:02:37 > 0:02:41Queenie, it's very kind of you but, please, don't waste your time.
0:02:41 > 0:02:44You've got to get them together again by fair means or foul.
0:02:44 > 0:02:49And that way, they get a chance to discover that maybe
0:02:49 > 0:02:51it's not so bad after all.
0:02:53 > 0:02:54Oh.
0:02:54 > 0:02:56What's she up to now?
0:02:56 > 0:02:59Oh, making alarmingly free with the superglue trying to mend the vac.
0:02:59 > 0:03:01She's got to go, you know?
0:03:01 > 0:03:04We need to repossess the kitchen.
0:03:05 > 0:03:07- And our lives. - It's all right.
0:03:07 > 0:03:10- One day she'll just stop coming. - What, you mean...?
0:03:12 > 0:03:15No! She'll just get bored and move on.
0:03:15 > 0:03:17Now, what about these holiday brochures?
0:03:17 > 0:03:21Ah! Well, the frontrunners are Bournemouth, Weymouth
0:03:21 > 0:03:23and Ilfracombe.
0:03:24 > 0:03:26Do you realise, Edith,
0:03:26 > 0:03:29this will be the first time we've ever gone away together.
0:03:29 > 0:03:32I know! Be a good chance to see if we're really suited.
0:03:33 > 0:03:35You serious?
0:03:35 > 0:03:38No, of course not, you fool!
0:03:40 > 0:03:43Oh! Now, there's a house with a very famous garden
0:03:43 > 0:03:44just inland from here.
0:03:44 > 0:03:46Now, that's not far, is it?
0:03:46 > 0:03:49No, we could drive there one day for tea.
0:03:52 > 0:03:55I know you'd rather go somewhere exotic -
0:03:55 > 0:03:56and we will one day.
0:03:56 > 0:03:58I promise, we will.
0:03:58 > 0:04:01It's just that Roger's still so vulnerable.
0:04:01 > 0:04:03I don't feel I can go too far away.
0:04:03 > 0:04:05Oh, I know, I know.
0:04:05 > 0:04:09Well, anyway, thanks for not making a fuss.
0:04:09 > 0:04:11I DID make a fuss. I made a BIG fuss.
0:04:11 > 0:04:14Well, thanks for not making an even bigger fuss.
0:04:27 > 0:04:30- Oh, hello, Wendy!- Mrs Gale. Hello.
0:04:30 > 0:04:34- How are you?- Oh, half alive. - I think you're a marvel
0:04:34 > 0:04:35to do this at your age.
0:04:36 > 0:04:40You're only as old as your great-grandchildren think you are.
0:04:40 > 0:04:44- Oh, are you a great-grandmother? - Twice.- Oh, well, that must
0:04:44 > 0:04:49make up a lot for having to do this kind of dreary low-paid work.
0:04:49 > 0:04:53Oh, it's not dreary. Not dreary at all.
0:04:54 > 0:04:57Wendy, I'm sorry you and Roger aren't getting on.
0:04:57 > 0:05:01Thank you, but I'd rather not talk about it. Is Edith here?
0:05:01 > 0:05:04In the sitting room with Phil.
0:05:04 > 0:05:05Oh, Phil.
0:05:05 > 0:05:09Oh, he's all right, you know, is Phil.
0:05:09 > 0:05:13- If you rub him up the right way. - Ha! Which way is that?
0:05:13 > 0:05:15You've got to tell him he's a nice person
0:05:15 > 0:05:18- and you think the world of him. - But I don't.
0:05:18 > 0:05:24Wendy. In my experience, stretching over donkey's years,
0:05:24 > 0:05:28if you want to get on with people, if you want to make things better,
0:05:28 > 0:05:31you've got to tell some porkies.
0:05:31 > 0:05:33Porkies?
0:05:33 > 0:05:37If you tell someone they're a nice, kind, decent man,
0:05:37 > 0:05:41then sometimes...they turn into one.
0:05:41 > 0:05:43Take Roger, for example.
0:05:43 > 0:05:47- I'd rather not, thank you. - Oh, he's not so bad.
0:05:47 > 0:05:49I want a divorce, a fair settlement, and that's it.
0:05:49 > 0:05:52Well, you're not going to get any sort of a settlement
0:05:52 > 0:05:54with that attitude.
0:05:54 > 0:05:56What do you mean? What do you know about it?
0:05:56 > 0:06:00Well, it's none of my business, but are you going to court?
0:06:00 > 0:06:02Well, probably, knowing Roger.
0:06:02 > 0:06:04Oh, dear, cos once you get into court,
0:06:04 > 0:06:06there's no telling what might happen.
0:06:06 > 0:06:08But I'm in the right.
0:06:08 > 0:06:10Well, that's not going to help.
0:06:10 > 0:06:13If I was your lawyer, I'd be telling you to make sure
0:06:13 > 0:06:15that everyone knows that you want Roger back.
0:06:15 > 0:06:17But I don't.
0:06:19 > 0:06:22Oh, what if I do as you say and I PRETEND I like Roger
0:06:22 > 0:06:24and I want him back...
0:06:24 > 0:06:25What if he actually comes back?
0:06:25 > 0:06:28Are you sure that deep down...
0:06:28 > 0:06:31..you wouldn't really like him back?
0:06:31 > 0:06:33Are you out of your mind?!
0:06:33 > 0:06:35Haven't you been listening to me?
0:06:35 > 0:06:36Does nobody listen to me?
0:06:38 > 0:06:39What is the matter with me?
0:06:39 > 0:06:41It's like I'm invisible!
0:06:41 > 0:06:42It's as if I don't exist!
0:06:42 > 0:06:44Oh, all right, all right, calm down!
0:06:44 > 0:06:47So you don't want him back but you do want a decent settlement.
0:06:47 > 0:06:50Well, you've got to stop coming over like a vengeful harpy.
0:06:51 > 0:06:52A vengeful harpy?
0:06:52 > 0:06:54It's all about PR, Wendy.
0:06:54 > 0:06:57But I'm a good person. Everybody says that.
0:06:57 > 0:07:00Wendy, your only chance of winning
0:07:00 > 0:07:02is to do as I say.
0:07:02 > 0:07:05FOOTSTEPS APPROACH
0:07:05 > 0:07:07So...you're still fond of Roger
0:07:07 > 0:07:10and you want him back for the sake of the kids.
0:07:11 > 0:07:13And have a go at being nice to Phil.
0:07:13 > 0:07:16Tell him what he wants to hear.
0:07:16 > 0:07:17See how he changes.
0:07:17 > 0:07:19Mark my words.
0:07:19 > 0:07:21I'm having a panic attack.
0:07:21 > 0:07:23You haven't got time for that now.
0:07:23 > 0:07:25Oh, hello, Wendy!
0:07:25 > 0:07:28Hello. Oh, hello, Phillip. Oh, it's nice to see you.
0:07:28 > 0:07:31You're looking well. Well and nice.
0:07:31 > 0:07:32See? Good as new.
0:07:32 > 0:07:35Oh, Queenie, you're a whizz!
0:07:35 > 0:07:37A whizz - and still here.
0:07:37 > 0:07:40Right, well, I'll just put it away and then I'll be off.
0:07:45 > 0:07:47Well, I think I'll, er, I'll go for a stroll.
0:07:47 > 0:07:49Oh, no, please, please don't go on my account.
0:07:49 > 0:07:51Well, I was thinking more on MY account, actually.
0:07:51 > 0:07:53It's just, I've got something quite important to say
0:07:53 > 0:07:56and I'd like you to be here, Phillip, when I say it,
0:07:56 > 0:08:00because you're so wise and decent and nice in these circumstances.
0:08:00 > 0:08:04Well, actually, you're ALWAYS kind and helpful in most -
0:08:04 > 0:08:07no, any, actually, all, all circumstances.
0:08:09 > 0:08:11Well, we do our best.
0:08:11 > 0:08:13Yeah, when in difficulties, I often find myself thinking,
0:08:13 > 0:08:16"What would Phillip do in these circumstances?
0:08:16 > 0:08:18- "What would Phillip say?" - Really?
0:08:18 > 0:08:21- Wendy, would you like a cup of tea? - Oh, no, no, thank you.
0:08:21 > 0:08:23Actually yes. Yes. Yes, I would.
0:08:23 > 0:08:25I think it's so ungracious to refuse things, don't you?
0:08:25 > 0:08:29One doesn't want to deprive people of the pleasure of giving, does one?
0:08:29 > 0:08:31I mean, it's just, it's so important, don't you think?
0:08:31 > 0:08:34How ARE you, Phillip? Are you enjoying life?
0:08:34 > 0:08:36I'm not sure.
0:08:36 > 0:08:42# Sunshine came softly through my a-window today
0:08:44 > 0:08:49# Cos I made my mind up you're going to be mine... #
0:08:51 > 0:08:53THEY CHUCKLE
0:08:55 > 0:08:58Oh, blimey, I needed that!
0:08:58 > 0:09:01Queenie, that was brilliant!
0:09:01 > 0:09:02Where did you learn that?
0:09:02 > 0:09:04The Salvation Army.
0:09:04 > 0:09:06I used to play the trumpet too,
0:09:06 > 0:09:10but you need a lot of cough for that, and reliable teeth.
0:09:10 > 0:09:13They don't have to be your own, they just have to be reliable.
0:09:13 > 0:09:14Cool!
0:09:15 > 0:09:18Rog, can I borrow some of these?
0:09:18 > 0:09:19If you promise to bring them back.
0:09:19 > 0:09:21Yeah, course.
0:09:21 > 0:09:24It's for the gig at the centre tonight, for the oldies.
0:09:24 > 0:09:26The crock and roll club.
0:09:26 > 0:09:29Queenie, you're a gas!
0:09:29 > 0:09:32Oh, a gas - I don't think I like the sound of that.
0:09:32 > 0:09:36I put Sibelius's violin concerto on once in hospital -
0:09:36 > 0:09:37you know, for a change.
0:09:37 > 0:09:41The administrator said it was music to top yourself by,
0:09:41 > 0:09:43and made me take it off.
0:09:43 > 0:09:45Yeah, I can relate to that.
0:09:46 > 0:09:49Why don't you come down tonight, give me a hand?
0:09:49 > 0:09:51It's a riot. You'd love it.
0:09:51 > 0:09:54Yeah, I'm always a bit busy on Thursdays.
0:09:54 > 0:09:56Have you heard from the toy shop?
0:09:56 > 0:09:58I'm probably too old.
0:09:58 > 0:09:59I don't really want it anyway.
0:09:59 > 0:10:01Yes, you do.
0:10:01 > 0:10:02No, the thing is, Queenie,
0:10:02 > 0:10:05I think that the world owes me a living.
0:10:05 > 0:10:06I always have done.
0:10:06 > 0:10:10Now, a lot of people think that, but they haven't got the guts
0:10:10 > 0:10:13to say it, and to be honest, I think it's a sensible view.
0:10:13 > 0:10:16The world owes me a living and something's gone wrong
0:10:16 > 0:10:17and I'm just having to wait.
0:10:17 > 0:10:19Oh, Roger.
0:10:19 > 0:10:21No whiff of proper ambition.
0:10:21 > 0:10:24No, if Mum sells the house, then I'll get a chunk of the proceeds.
0:10:24 > 0:10:25I mean, that's my ambition.
0:10:25 > 0:10:28Mmm, will she, though? Are you sure?
0:10:28 > 0:10:30What do you mean?
0:10:30 > 0:10:32Roger, you and Wendy...
0:10:32 > 0:10:34Oh, please, no, not, not, not the W word.
0:10:34 > 0:10:36Please.
0:10:36 > 0:10:38I reckon, deep down, Wendy still loves you.
0:10:38 > 0:10:40No, Wendy doesn't do deep down.
0:10:40 > 0:10:43Why don't you give it another try?
0:10:43 > 0:10:45I'd rather listen to Sibelius.
0:10:45 > 0:10:48Wendy. I know you want to talk about the divorce, but
0:10:48 > 0:10:52if it's difficult for you, we can always leave it till another day.
0:10:52 > 0:10:54Oh, but I do want to talk about the divorce.
0:10:54 > 0:10:57Oh, yes, yes, I do. Very much. Yes, that's why I'm here.
0:10:58 > 0:11:00Well, what I'm saying is, um, I want to talk about...
0:11:02 > 0:11:04..not getting a divorce.
0:11:04 > 0:11:06NOT getting...a divorce?
0:11:06 > 0:11:08Do you think I could have a glass of water?
0:11:08 > 0:11:09Oh, of course. Yes, yes.
0:11:09 > 0:11:12And a large gin and tonic for me, please.
0:11:13 > 0:11:16Think how happy it would make your mum.
0:11:16 > 0:11:20You know, she confides in me, Roger, and the way things are now, I reckon
0:11:20 > 0:11:23there's every chance she could sell the house and you'll get nothing.
0:11:25 > 0:11:26She wouldn't do that.
0:11:26 > 0:11:28Well, who would blame her?
0:11:28 > 0:11:30This is Phil talking, isn't it?
0:11:30 > 0:11:31Not just Phil.
0:11:35 > 0:11:37What can I do?
0:11:37 > 0:11:39Well, first of all, you've got to say,
0:11:39 > 0:11:42for the sake of the kids, you're going to ask Wendy to take you back.
0:11:42 > 0:11:43What?!
0:11:43 > 0:11:45GLUGGING
0:11:51 > 0:11:54I want him back. I want him to come home.
0:11:54 > 0:11:56Oh, Wendy!
0:11:56 > 0:12:00Oh, I can't tell you how pleased I am to hear you say that.
0:12:00 > 0:12:03- Yes!- It's so generous of you. - It is, isn't it?
0:12:03 > 0:12:05Remarkably, all things considered.
0:12:05 > 0:12:08Um...why?
0:12:08 > 0:12:11- Phil, we're all being positive here. - It's the twins.
0:12:11 > 0:12:13- Oh, of course it is. - They miss their dad.
0:12:13 > 0:12:16Oh, it must be so upsetting for them.
0:12:16 > 0:12:19Jason's gone dyslexic and he's started drinking.
0:12:19 > 0:12:21I found two empty cider bottles under his bed.
0:12:21 > 0:12:24- Oh, dear. - Can you GO dyslexic?
0:12:24 > 0:12:25And Jen's begun harming herself.
0:12:25 > 0:12:27My goodness.
0:12:27 > 0:12:29She threw herself down the stairs twice this week.
0:12:29 > 0:12:32She said that Jason pushed her, but I know that's not true.
0:12:32 > 0:12:34Well, it's a statistical fact that most homicides occur
0:12:34 > 0:12:38- within the family. - Phil, listen to what's being said.
0:12:38 > 0:12:40And it's all because Roger has abandoned them,
0:12:40 > 0:12:42and that's why I want him to come home.
0:12:42 > 0:12:45At some considerable self-sacrifice to myself, I might add.
0:12:45 > 0:12:48I always knew you were a generous person, Wendy.
0:12:48 > 0:12:50- I am. - Have you spoken to him?
0:12:50 > 0:12:52You must be joking, no.
0:12:52 > 0:12:54No! Oh, no, not yet.
0:12:54 > 0:12:55But I will.
0:12:55 > 0:12:57- You must.- Yes.
0:12:57 > 0:13:00We can carry on sleeping in separate beds.
0:13:00 > 0:13:03No need for any of that... rumpy-pumpy.
0:13:03 > 0:13:06I mean, I know he finds me physically repellent.
0:13:06 > 0:13:07I'm sure that's not true.
0:13:07 > 0:13:09I suppose he might be persuaded to change his mind
0:13:09 > 0:13:12if I wore one of those ridiculous
0:13:12 > 0:13:14suggestive nighties.
0:13:14 > 0:13:16But not that he's such a turn-on.
0:13:16 > 0:13:18Mind you, that's easily fixed.
0:13:18 > 0:13:21A little more focus on personal hygiene would be
0:13:21 > 0:13:22of considerable assistance.
0:13:22 > 0:13:24- Well, I think I'll go for that stroll.- Oh, no, wait.
0:13:24 > 0:13:26Wait, please. Please.
0:13:26 > 0:13:30I'm humiliating myself horribly here in a very worthy cause
0:13:30 > 0:13:32and I'd like you to be here to appreciate it.
0:13:32 > 0:13:34It's a great honour.
0:13:34 > 0:13:35Phil...
0:13:35 > 0:13:38I don't want to have to go through this again.
0:13:38 > 0:13:40I don't think I could.
0:13:40 > 0:13:42But what if I ask her to take me back and she says yes?
0:13:42 > 0:13:46Well, say the worst happens and, and, and she says,
0:13:46 > 0:13:49"Roger I still love you, and I forgive you,
0:13:49 > 0:13:51"and please will you come back?"
0:13:51 > 0:13:53Well, then you...you've got to say yes.
0:13:53 > 0:13:56And, Rog, this is the vital bit.
0:13:56 > 0:13:58You've got to give it a proper go.
0:13:58 > 0:14:02For long enough for your mum to see what you're made of.
0:14:02 > 0:14:03Oh!
0:14:03 > 0:14:05If you want to be in your mum's good books,
0:14:05 > 0:14:08then you've got to do what I say.
0:14:08 > 0:14:09HE GRUNTS
0:14:09 > 0:14:11Try and be a bit more grown-up.
0:14:11 > 0:14:14But I don't want to be a grown-up, Queenie.
0:14:14 > 0:14:16Being grown-up was my big mistake.
0:14:25 > 0:14:27BICYCLE BELL RINGS
0:14:31 > 0:14:33Do you know, in all these years, he's never told me he loved me.
0:14:33 > 0:14:37Not once. He's never said, "I love you, "Wendy.
0:14:37 > 0:14:41I'm so sorry. I...I didn't realise things were so bad.
0:14:41 > 0:14:44He didn't even say, "Wendy, you've got a nice bottom."
0:14:44 > 0:14:46Everybody used to say that.
0:14:46 > 0:14:50Actually, you do have a nice bottom.
0:14:50 > 0:14:52- Phil...- Thank you.
0:14:52 > 0:14:55You're a gentleman, Phillip - Phil. A real gentleman.
0:14:55 > 0:14:57- Pleasure.- They don't make them like you any more.- No, they don't.
0:14:57 > 0:15:00They broke the mould when they made you.
0:15:00 > 0:15:02Yeah, they did. Yes, they broke the mould.
0:15:02 > 0:15:04- Thank you for all of the flattery. - It's true.
0:15:04 > 0:15:07Yes, well, I think we've probably exhausted that subject now,
0:15:07 > 0:15:10haven't we? You...you still want him back now?
0:15:10 > 0:15:13I want him back because...
0:15:13 > 0:15:15I want him to be there when things go wrong.
0:15:15 > 0:15:16You need a man in the house.
0:15:16 > 0:15:18I want the kids to know who to point the finger at.
0:15:18 > 0:15:21That's a reasonable thing to want, isn't it? Phillip? Phil?
0:15:21 > 0:15:23It's perfectly reasonable, yes, I mean,
0:15:23 > 0:15:26if you can teach the kids to point the finger at someone,
0:15:26 > 0:15:29then you've really set them up for life, haven't you?
0:15:29 > 0:15:31No, no, no, wait. That's not, that's not really what I meant.
0:15:31 > 0:15:34Oh, no. Oh, no, I get in such a tangle.
0:15:34 > 0:15:39No, what I'm saying is, I want to do the right thing by everybody.
0:15:39 > 0:15:41Always. With no exception.
0:15:41 > 0:15:43Well, that's very admirable.
0:15:43 > 0:15:45Isn't it, Phil?
0:15:45 > 0:15:47Yes, full of it. I mean, full of admiration.
0:15:48 > 0:15:51Well, thank you for listening and for being so patient.
0:15:51 > 0:15:54Aw...Wendy.
0:16:04 > 0:16:06You know, it's moments like this
0:16:06 > 0:16:08that I realise
0:16:08 > 0:16:11what a truly great man Roger is.
0:16:11 > 0:16:14Now, come on, let's talk about our jaunt...
0:16:14 > 0:16:17I've got some brochures here, with luxury hotels.
0:16:17 > 0:16:20Let's...let's clear the air a bit with some fun.
0:16:20 > 0:16:23Oh...
0:16:23 > 0:16:26Oh, yeah - knew you'd be glad to see me.
0:16:26 > 0:16:27Wendy was just here.
0:16:27 > 0:16:29Where...? Uh, has she gone?
0:16:29 > 0:16:31A moment ago.
0:16:31 > 0:16:33Well, you could probably catch her if you're quick.
0:16:33 > 0:16:37She's got something to say to you. Something very important.
0:16:37 > 0:16:38Well, that's Wendy for you, isn't it?
0:16:38 > 0:16:41Rarely has anything unimportant to say.
0:16:41 > 0:16:42Doesn't have it in her.
0:16:42 > 0:16:46Wendy has a lot to teach me and I've got a lot to learn.
0:16:47 > 0:16:49For example...?
0:16:51 > 0:16:53I've decided to go back to her.
0:16:54 > 0:16:57For the sake of the children, if she'll have me.
0:16:58 > 0:17:00Oh, Roger!
0:17:00 > 0:17:02Sit down, darling, before you fall down.
0:17:02 > 0:17:04Oh, I'm so pleased!
0:17:04 > 0:17:07Oh, of course she'll have you back. She just said so.
0:17:07 > 0:17:10What?! I mean, great, yeah.
0:17:10 > 0:17:12Um, when was that?
0:17:12 > 0:17:14Well, just now, when she was here.
0:17:14 > 0:17:16Oh, that's, that's fabulous.
0:17:16 > 0:17:18That's really good news, then, isn't it?
0:17:18 > 0:17:19I just can't believe it.
0:17:19 > 0:17:22Unbelievably, er, good.
0:17:22 > 0:17:24You know, this isn't easy for me, you know,
0:17:24 > 0:17:28after all the sewage that's passed under the bridge, but I'm determined
0:17:28 > 0:17:31to do the right thing, and the main thing is just to forget the past.
0:17:31 > 0:17:33Forget the past.
0:17:33 > 0:17:36Yes, cos when it was here, it didn't help us at all, did it?
0:17:36 > 0:17:37For my part, for example,
0:17:37 > 0:17:40I will never again refer to the disastrous changes my wife made
0:17:40 > 0:17:43without consulting me to the seating arrangement
0:17:43 > 0:17:44at our wedding reception.
0:17:44 > 0:17:47Even though it was the cause of much rancour and bitterness,
0:17:47 > 0:17:50that is now all over and done with and completely forgotten.
0:17:50 > 0:17:52Oh, Roger, I'm so proud of you.
0:17:52 > 0:17:54Really?
0:17:54 > 0:17:56I know this isn't easy for you.
0:17:56 > 0:17:59- No, it isn't. - But it's for the best.
0:17:59 > 0:18:01Yes. Yes, it is. It's for the best.
0:18:08 > 0:18:09Are there any biscuits?
0:18:09 > 0:18:11Roger?
0:18:13 > 0:18:16Well, you better go and tell her, then, hadn't you?
0:18:16 > 0:18:19- Tell her?- Wendy. Tell her.
0:18:19 > 0:18:21Tell her what?
0:18:21 > 0:18:22Tell her that you want to go back to her.
0:18:22 > 0:18:24Oh, I will.
0:18:25 > 0:18:27Off you go, then.
0:18:27 > 0:18:28Well, you can't rush these things.
0:18:28 > 0:18:31Yes, you should. Course you should rush them.
0:18:31 > 0:18:34Certain things like these are better rushed.
0:18:34 > 0:18:36Now, go and find Wendy.
0:18:36 > 0:18:37Then we can all relax.
0:18:37 > 0:18:40Right, OK.
0:18:40 > 0:18:41I'm off, then.
0:18:44 > 0:18:46Roger?
0:18:46 > 0:18:50Do you know, they keep finding new galaxies?
0:18:51 > 0:18:55New solar systems that are probably, in many ways,
0:18:55 > 0:18:56very similar to the planet Earth.
0:18:57 > 0:19:03In fact, it's ridiculous to think that there isn't life
0:19:03 > 0:19:05out there in space.
0:19:05 > 0:19:08Tonnes of it, and it's all a matter of time.
0:19:09 > 0:19:12Time for life to evolve.
0:19:13 > 0:19:16Because that's how life can happen in the universe.
0:19:18 > 0:19:20Cos it's so vast.
0:19:21 > 0:19:23Full of time.
0:19:23 > 0:19:25Roger, what are you talking about?
0:19:25 > 0:19:26Yeah, OK, I'm off.
0:19:29 > 0:19:31Bloody hell.
0:19:33 > 0:19:34If this really works out...
0:19:34 > 0:19:38Oh, please, God, let it work out.
0:19:38 > 0:19:41- I wonder if Queenie's had a go at them.- Queenie?- Well, yes,
0:19:41 > 0:19:44she was going on about how she used to be a marriage counsellor.
0:19:44 > 0:19:46- Mrs Gale? - In Tasmania.
0:19:46 > 0:19:48I didn't know they had marriage in Tasmania,
0:19:48 > 0:19:50let alone marriage counselling.
0:19:50 > 0:19:54Come on, Edith, let's go! We're on that crest of a wave!
0:19:54 > 0:19:57Right, I'll go and get my stuff.
0:19:57 > 0:20:01Quick pit stop for lunch and then we're off, in time to have dinner.
0:20:01 > 0:20:03- Well, where?- Anywhere!
0:20:03 > 0:20:05I mean, we'll just find somewhere to stay
0:20:05 > 0:20:07when we get to wherever we go to.
0:20:07 > 0:20:10- A beach hut.- Heaven!- Bliss!
0:20:19 > 0:20:22ENGINE STARTS
0:20:32 > 0:20:34I can't.
0:20:34 > 0:20:37Just...do it.
0:20:37 > 0:20:38You've dialled it... You...
0:20:43 > 0:20:44Hi, Wendy.
0:20:44 > 0:20:46Yes, it's me.
0:20:46 > 0:20:48- I can't talk now, I'm in a meeting. - A meeting?
0:20:48 > 0:20:50What is it? Roger?
0:20:50 > 0:20:52- What meeting?- It's finished now.
0:20:52 > 0:20:53What do you want?
0:20:55 > 0:20:59I want...to come home.
0:20:59 > 0:21:02- Is Mrs Gale there with you?- Who?
0:21:02 > 0:21:05- No, no. - Did she tell you to do this?
0:21:05 > 0:21:07No. No!
0:21:07 > 0:21:10My...heart...
0:21:10 > 0:21:11..told me to do it.
0:21:11 > 0:21:15My...foolish, foolish heart.
0:21:19 > 0:21:20Wendy.
0:21:22 > 0:21:24Will you have me back?
0:21:25 > 0:21:28Well...
0:21:28 > 0:21:31..yes. For the sake of the kids.
0:21:31 > 0:21:32- Great, thanks.- But Roger, I just...
0:21:32 > 0:21:34I'm sorry, I've got to go, I'm at the dentist.
0:21:34 > 0:21:36Ow, yeah, see you later.
0:21:39 > 0:21:41Well done. Good boy.
0:21:43 > 0:21:46I'm not sure that I can go through with this.
0:21:46 > 0:21:48Well, it's your choice, Roger.
0:21:48 > 0:21:51No Wendy, no house.
0:21:53 > 0:21:56SEAGULLS CAW
0:21:58 > 0:22:01Oh, Phil, it's...
0:22:01 > 0:22:02..charming.
0:22:03 > 0:22:08Oh, look. You can even see a little bit of sea.
0:22:08 > 0:22:11Well, that'll be useful.
0:22:11 > 0:22:13THUD!
0:22:13 > 0:22:16- What's the matter? - No, no, it's, it's perfect.
0:22:16 > 0:22:19A weekend of nonstop ducking.
0:22:21 > 0:22:22Edith.
0:22:22 > 0:22:23What?
0:22:23 > 0:22:25You promised.
0:22:25 > 0:22:27I'm turning it off. Look. Look.
0:22:29 > 0:22:30Put it away.
0:22:33 > 0:22:35There.
0:22:35 > 0:22:38THEY SIGH CHUCKLING
0:22:38 > 0:22:40FIRE ALARM RINGS
0:22:49 > 0:22:51Roger? Listen, it's Queenie.
0:22:51 > 0:22:53Listen, I've got a bit of a problem.
0:22:53 > 0:22:55And if your mum and Phil are away,
0:22:55 > 0:22:58I was hoping you might be able to help me out.
0:22:58 > 0:23:00Anything?
0:23:00 > 0:23:02But you better hear what it is first.
0:23:08 > 0:23:11Oh, I want to give you a kiss!
0:23:13 > 0:23:15Oh, my goodness! Oh, naughty crocodile!
0:23:24 > 0:23:26Raaar!
0:23:26 > 0:23:28Hello, Queenie!
0:23:28 > 0:23:30My name is Methuselah,
0:23:30 > 0:23:34and I'm almost as o-o-o-old as you!
0:23:34 > 0:23:37Oh, you cheeky thing.
0:23:37 > 0:23:39You got the job then?
0:23:39 > 0:23:41- No.- Oh.
0:23:42 > 0:23:45Oh, yes. Um, oh, how upsetting for you, Roger.
0:23:45 > 0:23:47I'm so, so sorry for you. Poor you.
0:23:47 > 0:23:50I didn't want the rotten job but they gave me this instead.
0:23:50 > 0:23:51Who does he remind you of, Queenie?
0:23:51 > 0:23:54Oh, Rog, not Mr Spongey!
0:23:54 > 0:23:58He had this spongey green dinosaur thing.
0:23:58 > 0:24:00He wouldn't let it out of his sight.
0:24:00 > 0:24:02Oh, he still had it.
0:24:02 > 0:24:03Even after we were married.
0:24:03 > 0:24:05Yes, until it mysteriously vanished.
0:24:05 > 0:24:08Oh, for the hundredth time, it wasn't me.
0:24:08 > 0:24:11It was totally not me. He wouldn't even let me wash it.
0:24:11 > 0:24:13It was jumping in germs. I was expecting the twins.
0:24:15 > 0:24:16God, well, that mu...
0:24:16 > 0:24:19..that must have been a very happy time for you both,
0:24:19 > 0:24:21when the twins came along.
0:24:21 > 0:24:23Oh, yes. Yes, yes.
0:24:23 > 0:24:24Yes, it was, it was...
0:24:25 > 0:24:27..very happy, wasn't it, Roger?
0:24:27 > 0:24:28What?
0:24:30 > 0:24:32Uh, yes.
0:24:32 > 0:24:33It was lovely.
0:24:33 > 0:24:37Of course it was very pressured too, it being twins, but, um...
0:24:39 > 0:24:40..we had each other, didn't we?
0:24:42 > 0:24:44Yes.
0:24:44 > 0:24:45We had each other.
0:24:46 > 0:24:48Roger was your rock.
0:24:48 > 0:24:49Oh, he was.
0:24:50 > 0:24:52My rock.
0:24:52 > 0:24:53Grr!
0:24:56 > 0:24:59Well, that was a lovely meal, Phil. Thank you.
0:25:02 > 0:25:04I just wanted to say something.
0:25:05 > 0:25:09- Go on.- Well, it was, what... Wendy was saying today.
0:25:11 > 0:25:13Oh? What's that?
0:25:13 > 0:25:17Well, I just wanted to...to make sure that I said something clearly,
0:25:17 > 0:25:19or...or that I made absolutely sure
0:25:19 > 0:25:23that I did NOT say it clearly.
0:25:23 > 0:25:25This sounds very complicated.
0:25:25 > 0:25:27It isn't really.
0:25:27 > 0:25:28Uh...
0:25:30 > 0:25:31I love you, Edith.
0:25:34 > 0:25:35I love you.
0:25:38 > 0:25:39So there.
0:25:41 > 0:25:42And I love you, Phil.
0:25:56 > 0:26:00MUSIC: Get Off Of My Cloud by Rolling Stones
0:26:04 > 0:26:06Hello, Terry!
0:26:08 > 0:26:10Hello! You having fun?
0:26:10 > 0:26:13It's a bit crowded, isn't it?
0:26:13 > 0:26:15A lot of people are here!
0:26:15 > 0:26:18Oh, that's my husband. That's my husband.
0:26:19 > 0:26:21Roger! Roger?
0:26:22 > 0:26:27- This is my husband. This is Roger. - Hi, hello!- And his new friend.
0:26:27 > 0:26:29This is Methuselah.
0:26:29 > 0:26:34Rargh! Pleased to meet you! Pleased to meet you!
0:26:35 > 0:26:36Roger!
0:26:38 > 0:26:40HE GROWLS AND MUTTERS
0:26:40 > 0:26:42Roger...
0:26:46 > 0:26:50Roger, calm down. Roger, stop it, stop it!
0:26:52 > 0:26:54Stop it, please.
0:26:54 > 0:26:56Roger!
0:26:58 > 0:26:59Roger!
0:26:59 > 0:27:01It's the crocodile or me!
0:27:01 > 0:27:03Don't you...!
0:27:03 > 0:27:05Methuselah!
0:27:05 > 0:27:09- Excuse me!- Keep it down!- Give it a rest!- It's too noisy!
0:27:11 > 0:27:13PHONE RINGS
0:27:18 > 0:27:21- Hello?- Hello, Phil? Oh, hang on I can't hear you.
0:27:21 > 0:27:23How are you doing, Lionel?
0:27:23 > 0:27:25- Ooh, please. - Are we not dancing tonight?
0:27:25 > 0:27:28No, no, I'm trying to find a quieter spot.
0:27:28 > 0:27:32No, no, don't hang up, Phil! No, please, don't hang up.
0:27:32 > 0:27:34No, I'm calling from Edith's.
0:27:34 > 0:27:38There was a fire at the centre, so Roger told Mrs Gale
0:27:38 > 0:27:40that she could hold her old people's party here
0:27:40 > 0:27:42and now all the neighbours are up in arms,
0:27:42 > 0:27:45but don't worry, I'm totally keeping everyone calm.
0:27:45 > 0:27:47Oh, Roger didn't get the toy shop job.
0:27:47 > 0:27:49He was here tonight, behaving very strangely.
0:27:49 > 0:27:51Very strangely indeed.
0:27:51 > 0:27:53We had a big row. Entirely his fault.
0:27:53 > 0:27:55So I'm afraid, despite all my efforts,
0:27:55 > 0:27:57the big reconciliation is off.
0:27:57 > 0:27:59Though, I think you'll agree I did my best.
0:27:59 > 0:28:01I really, really did.
0:28:01 > 0:28:03I was totally up for it, but there it is.
0:28:03 > 0:28:06The twins are OK, and I will never speak to that meddling,
0:28:06 > 0:28:09barking, ghastly Mrs Gale again, as long as I live.
0:28:09 > 0:28:11- SIRENS BLARE - I hope you're having a lovely time
0:28:11 > 0:28:14and don't worry about a thing. Oh! Police are here now!
0:28:15 > 0:28:16Bye!
0:28:18 > 0:28:21- And? - Uh, no problem. Everything's OK.
0:28:21 > 0:28:26Wendy's in charge and she says she hopes we're having a wonderful time.
0:28:27 > 0:28:30Everything's OK? Does that mean she and Roger...
0:28:30 > 0:28:32Yeah, well, she didn't say.
0:28:32 > 0:28:33Not a word.
0:28:33 > 0:28:36So, um, we should go get a nightcap, shouldn't we?
0:28:37 > 0:28:40- Good idea.- Yeah.
0:28:40 > 0:28:42You can tell me the truth on Monday.