0:00:02 > 0:00:04- DRAMATIC VOICEOVER: - 'From maternity to the morgue,
0:00:04 > 0:00:07'from cardiovascular to urogenital,
0:00:07 > 0:00:10'this is hospital radio.
0:00:10 > 0:00:12'Ivan Brackenbury!
0:00:12 > 0:00:15- ROBOTICALLY: - 'He's bonkers! He's bonkers!
0:00:15 > 0:00:19'Ivan Brackenbury, the cheerful earful.'
0:00:19 > 0:00:21Good morning, Brimlington!
0:00:21 > 0:00:25I feel well this morning, I hope all you patients do, too.
0:00:25 > 0:00:29We are live on a Thursday!
0:00:29 > 0:00:30'Friday!'
0:00:30 > 0:00:32Oh, we've got the gremlins in the studio!
0:00:32 > 0:00:33'Saturday!'
0:00:33 > 0:00:37Hang on. Yeah, you'll have to bear with me, these are on a loop.
0:00:37 > 0:00:38'Sunday!'
0:00:38 > 0:00:39Nearly there!
0:00:39 > 0:00:40'Monday!'
0:00:40 > 0:00:42Got to go all the way around.
0:00:42 > 0:00:44'Tuesday!
0:00:44 > 0:00:45'Wednesday!'
0:00:45 > 0:00:47Here we go... Thursday!
0:00:47 > 0:00:49'1964!'
0:00:49 > 0:00:51Oh, it's a bigger loop than I thought!
0:00:51 > 0:00:53'1965!'
0:00:53 > 0:00:54Oh, honestly.
0:00:54 > 0:00:56'1966!'
0:00:56 > 0:00:57HE GROANS
0:00:57 > 0:00:58'Merry Christmas!'
0:00:58 > 0:01:00Right, we'll have to leave it there.
0:01:00 > 0:01:03OK, let's get on with the show!
0:01:45 > 0:01:49'Ivan Brackenbury, out and about, reaching out
0:01:49 > 0:01:51'and touching patients.'
0:01:51 > 0:01:53Well, the clock on the wall said it's 10:15
0:01:53 > 0:01:56and we're very excited about the hospital awards.
0:01:56 > 0:02:00In fact, we are your hospital "ward" winning radio station right here!
0:02:00 > 0:02:03You can still vote for your Patients' Choice Award
0:02:03 > 0:02:07where patients vote for their favourite member of staff.
0:02:07 > 0:02:09Now, I don't want to influence your voting in any way.
0:02:09 > 0:02:12Just vote for whoever pops in your head.
0:02:12 > 0:02:14'Ivan Brackenbury!
0:02:14 > 0:02:17'You're listening to I-I-Ivan Brackenbury.
0:02:17 > 0:02:18'Ivan Brackenbury!
0:02:18 > 0:02:20'Ivan Bra-Bra-Brackenbury!'
0:02:20 > 0:02:23# Ivan Battenby! #
0:02:23 > 0:02:25It's Brackenbury!
0:02:29 > 0:02:31So, what's the food situation?
0:02:31 > 0:02:34I want something that says classy, elegant, yet fun.
0:02:34 > 0:02:36Well, the canteen said they can do posh sausage rolls.
0:02:36 > 0:02:38Posh sausage rolls? For goodness' sake!
0:02:38 > 0:02:40This is the Annual Regional Hospital Awards,
0:02:40 > 0:02:41not a night of dogging.
0:02:41 > 0:02:43Well, how about canapes?
0:02:43 > 0:02:45No, we're not having canapes.
0:02:45 > 0:02:47Get some little bites instead.
0:02:47 > 0:02:48Finger food.
0:02:48 > 0:02:50Sunny does sometimes question my methods,
0:02:50 > 0:02:51and that's fine.
0:02:51 > 0:02:54As manager, I'm very much at the top of the triangle
0:02:54 > 0:02:56and people like Sunny are at the bottom.
0:02:56 > 0:03:00But a good manager always listens to their bottom.
0:03:00 > 0:03:02Every single person has a voice,
0:03:02 > 0:03:05no matter where they come in my triangle.
0:03:05 > 0:03:07The vodka bar will be over in the corner, near the ice sculpture.
0:03:07 > 0:03:10But you need to liaise with pyrotechnics to make sure
0:03:10 > 0:03:12that won't be a problem for our celebrity host.
0:03:12 > 0:03:14Right, this looks... massively expensive.
0:03:14 > 0:03:15Elegance doesn't come cheap, Sunny.
0:03:15 > 0:03:17Just ask Deborah Meaden.
0:03:17 > 0:03:19Anyway, we've relocated some hospital funds.
0:03:19 > 0:03:21So who is this celebrity host?
0:03:21 > 0:03:23Let me give you a clue.
0:03:23 > 0:03:25Former star of BBC One's Good Medicine.
0:03:25 > 0:03:27You might know him as Dr Richard Good.
0:03:27 > 0:03:31Better known as actor and national treasure, Jeremy Lace.
0:03:31 > 0:03:33No, I can't think who it might be.
0:03:33 > 0:03:35It's Jeremy Lace!
0:03:36 > 0:03:41# Cos Jesus, he knows me, and he knows I'm right
0:03:41 > 0:03:43# I've been talking to Jesus. #
0:03:46 > 0:03:48Beep, beep!
0:03:49 > 0:03:50CAR BEEPS
0:03:50 > 0:03:53I do put a lot of comedy into what I do, I think that's really important.
0:03:53 > 0:03:55And obviously, being from Liverpool,
0:03:55 > 0:03:57it's famous for its sense of humour.
0:03:57 > 0:04:01Craig Charles, Ken Dodd, Faith Brown, Freddie Starr, Jimmy Tarbuck.
0:04:01 > 0:04:03They're all from Liverpool.
0:04:03 > 0:04:06And despite them, we've still got a reputation
0:04:06 > 0:04:08for a great sense of humour.
0:04:08 > 0:04:11One vote for Father Kenny.
0:04:11 > 0:04:13Oh, Mrs L, you don't have to do that!
0:04:13 > 0:04:15You're already my choice. I'll prove it.
0:04:15 > 0:04:18- Mrs...Leydon.- Aw!
0:04:18 > 0:04:20OK, there you go.
0:04:23 > 0:04:25OK, come on, then. Let's go.
0:04:26 > 0:04:28All right, love.
0:04:32 > 0:04:34I said I wanted a red carpet.
0:04:34 > 0:04:35It is a red carpet.
0:04:35 > 0:04:37It's a rug, Sunny.
0:04:37 > 0:04:40This is a high class event. I don't want them looking
0:04:40 > 0:04:43at my entrance and thinking, "That rug's a mess!"
0:04:43 > 0:04:46Here he is! Our secret weapon for the best awards ever.
0:04:46 > 0:04:48My pleasure, Mr Lace. Susan Mitchell, hospital manager.
0:04:48 > 0:04:54Oh, please! "Mr Lace" is far too formal.
0:04:54 > 0:04:56Just call me Jeremy Lace.
0:04:56 > 0:04:57Welcome to Brimlington Hospital.
0:04:57 > 0:05:01Oh, it's marvellous. Marvellous!
0:05:01 > 0:05:03It may not have all the excitement of a TV hospital,
0:05:03 > 0:05:06and you'd better not shout "cut" too loudly around here,
0:05:06 > 0:05:08otherwise someone might get a painful snip!
0:05:08 > 0:05:10- HE LAUGHS - Very good!
0:05:10 > 0:05:13I've written your lines for the awards. We should rehearse as soon as possible.
0:05:13 > 0:05:15Oh, well, actually, I was going to ask if it might be possible
0:05:15 > 0:05:17to have a little look around?
0:05:17 > 0:05:20Maybe see the hospital, meet some patients, perhaps?
0:05:20 > 0:05:22Oh, it's only a hospital, it's very boring.
0:05:22 > 0:05:25No! If there's one thing I learnt...
0:05:25 > 0:05:29- LOUDER:- ..in my 11 years on Good Medicine,
0:05:29 > 0:05:33it's a hospital is never just a hospital.
0:05:33 > 0:05:35It's a place where people live,
0:05:35 > 0:05:37it is a place where people die,
0:05:37 > 0:05:40It is a place where people fall in love, it is...
0:05:40 > 0:05:43OK, well, let's do that, but let's be very quick about it.
0:05:48 > 0:05:51So you're going to theatre. What are they giving you?
0:05:51 > 0:05:53- General ana...- Anaesthetic, right.
0:05:53 > 0:05:56Have you thought about using reiki instead?
0:05:56 > 0:05:57Will that stop the pain?
0:05:57 > 0:06:00Medically speaking, no, it enhances it,
0:06:00 > 0:06:04which enables you to pinpoint exactly where it is.
0:06:04 > 0:06:07And only then can you really use the healing crystals.
0:06:07 > 0:06:08Will the crystals stop the pain?
0:06:08 > 0:06:11Medically speaking, again, no.
0:06:11 > 0:06:13It's just not that straightforward.
0:06:13 > 0:06:15"Porter" is my job title,
0:06:15 > 0:06:17but I do so much more.
0:06:17 > 0:06:20I'm a psychic healer and spirit medium.
0:06:20 > 0:06:24But I don't want to be seen to be profiting from people's grief,
0:06:24 > 0:06:27cos...that would make me no better than a florist.
0:06:28 > 0:06:30It still hurts.
0:06:30 > 0:06:31- I'm pretty sure it doesn't. - It does!
0:06:31 > 0:06:33That's not pain you're feeling.
0:06:33 > 0:06:35That's post-pain euphoria.
0:06:35 > 0:06:37I can assure you, all the pain has gone.
0:06:37 > 0:06:39You don't need to go to theatre.
0:06:39 > 0:06:42It still hurts and I still want to go to theatre.
0:06:42 > 0:06:45- HE SIGHS - Tell you what, let me try my gemstones. Best out of three?
0:06:45 > 0:06:46I'm meant to be in surgery.
0:06:46 > 0:06:48They never start on time anyway. It's like the cinema.
0:06:48 > 0:06:50HE GROANS
0:06:50 > 0:06:53- Are you all right? - No, I've got a pain in my stomach!
0:06:53 > 0:06:56Probably caused by your negative energy.
0:06:56 > 0:06:58That's bet... No, wait!
0:07:02 > 0:07:03Hello?
0:07:09 > 0:07:10E-mail time!
0:07:10 > 0:07:13I've had an e-mail from Frank, who's in bed with Mrs A.
0:07:13 > 0:07:14Goodness!
0:07:14 > 0:07:16- Here we go. - JINGLE PLAYS
0:07:16 > 0:07:19The mysterious Mrs A. Ooh!
0:07:21 > 0:07:24Oh, it's... It's MRSA.
0:07:24 > 0:07:26OK. Right, we'll play him this anyway.
0:07:26 > 0:07:30This is specially for Frank, it's Maneater.
0:07:30 > 0:07:33MUSIC: Maneater by Hall and Oates
0:07:40 > 0:07:41And this is Ward 5.
0:07:41 > 0:07:44- 6. 5.- Oh, yes!
0:07:44 > 0:07:47This takes me back.
0:07:47 > 0:07:48Oh, look at that!
0:07:48 > 0:07:50This... Oh, it's just like being on set.
0:07:52 > 0:07:54"Nurse, we're losing her!"
0:07:54 > 0:07:56HE LAUGHS
0:07:56 > 0:07:58Oh! I don't miss it, though.
0:08:00 > 0:08:02Don't crowd him, he's very famous!
0:08:02 > 0:08:04Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you.
0:08:04 > 0:08:07- Are you a doctor?- Am I a doctor?
0:08:07 > 0:08:117.4 million viewers certainly used to think so.
0:08:11 > 0:08:13- What are you in for? - It's just my back.
0:08:13 > 0:08:15OK, let me see.
0:08:15 > 0:08:16Just pop up.
0:08:16 > 0:08:18It'll feel cold.
0:08:18 > 0:08:21- PATIENT GROANS - There we are! Do you feel that?
0:08:21 > 0:08:22- GASPING:- Yeah!
0:08:22 > 0:08:24Yeah, it's just a slight abnormality of the spine at the base.
0:08:24 > 0:08:26Just at the base. Did a lot of these on the show.
0:08:26 > 0:08:29Maybe we should leave the medical diagnosis to the professionals.
0:08:29 > 0:08:31Really? Your call. There we are.
0:08:31 > 0:08:34But who do you think's more professional?
0:08:34 > 0:08:36Someone who spent a few years training to be a senior doctor,
0:08:36 > 0:08:42or someone who spent 11 years playing a senior doctor?
0:08:42 > 0:08:43- Good point.- Very nice to meet you.
0:08:43 > 0:08:45Erm, we really must get on with the rehearsals.
0:08:45 > 0:08:49If these awards don't go 100%, I'm really going to lose my sh...
0:08:49 > 0:08:52Uh-oh! Oh, dear, oh, dear.
0:08:52 > 0:08:54Somebody's been through the wars.
0:08:54 > 0:08:56Autographs from a celebrity actor.
0:08:56 > 0:08:58You're very lucky to be in here.
0:08:58 > 0:09:01- I'm not sure you should be writing on that, though. - It's absolutely fine.
0:09:01 > 0:09:03Operate immediately. Remove pancreas.
0:09:05 > 0:09:07No.
0:09:08 > 0:09:10And then the doctor says,
0:09:10 > 0:09:13"No, I said, you've got acute angina!"
0:09:13 > 0:09:15Do you get it? You can have that!
0:09:15 > 0:09:17Mrs Leydon gets it.
0:09:17 > 0:09:18- Do you get it?- Mmm.
0:09:18 > 0:09:20The doctors and nurses provide relief,
0:09:20 > 0:09:22but I provide the comic relief.
0:09:22 > 0:09:25And that helps me make God's teachings popular.
0:09:25 > 0:09:27Jesus got people's attention with miracles,
0:09:27 > 0:09:29then he could teach them his message.
0:09:29 > 0:09:31I use comedy instead of miracles,
0:09:31 > 0:09:33though I do have a few tricks of my own.
0:09:33 > 0:09:35Here, go on, pull me finger.
0:09:35 > 0:09:36Oh...you're too late.
0:09:38 > 0:09:40And I'll say a prayer for you, too, all right?
0:09:40 > 0:09:43- Thank you.- Two prayers is better than one. Think about it.
0:09:43 > 0:09:45God's up there, he sees you got two prayers,
0:09:45 > 0:09:47he's thinking, "Oh, bit of a buzz around this one."
0:09:47 > 0:09:52OK. Oh, and if you could fill that in for me?
0:09:52 > 0:09:54OK, lovely. Nice to meet you out.
0:09:54 > 0:09:56- QUIETLY:- Make sure he signs it.
0:09:56 > 0:09:58See you later.
0:09:58 > 0:10:00Do you need a pen?
0:10:03 > 0:10:07- HE SHRIEKS - Oh, God, I'm fine! I just fell.
0:10:07 > 0:10:09We're taking you to a ward, you're going to be OK.
0:10:09 > 0:10:11I don't need your outdated conventional medicine.
0:10:11 > 0:10:12- SHOUTING:- Oh, God!
0:10:12 > 0:10:15But as I'm on the trolley anyway, you may as well carry on.
0:10:15 > 0:10:17This way, please, Jeremy.
0:10:17 > 0:10:19Oh, this is great, Susan!
0:10:19 > 0:10:22Just walking down the hospital corridor, just like the old days.
0:10:22 > 0:10:24You don't have a white coat I could borrow?
0:10:24 > 0:10:27Oh, I know you!
0:10:27 > 0:10:29You're that man from the telly.
0:10:29 > 0:10:32- HE CHUCKLES - Oh, no. This is embarrassing!
0:10:32 > 0:10:35Jeremy Lace, pleasure to meet you.
0:10:35 > 0:10:37I used to love watching you in that Good Medicine.
0:10:37 > 0:10:40It's always a pleasure to meet a fan.
0:10:40 > 0:10:41Of course, I preferred Casualty.
0:10:43 > 0:10:45Well, they are very different shows.
0:10:45 > 0:10:47Oh, well, Saturday's not Saturday without Casualty, is it?
0:10:47 > 0:10:49Best show on the box, if you ask me.
0:10:49 > 0:10:52- SHOUTING:- Nobody did ask you, did they?!
0:10:52 > 0:10:53HE CLEARS HIS THROAT
0:10:53 > 0:10:56Sorry, don't...
0:10:56 > 0:10:58Just don't use the C word.
0:10:59 > 0:11:02OK, next stop on the tour - tropical diseases.
0:11:02 > 0:11:04Then we really must rehearse.
0:11:04 > 0:11:06You might want to get your camera out for this one.
0:11:08 > 0:11:10Quick, go on.
0:11:16 > 0:11:18Nice one, Mrs L. Come on.
0:11:19 > 0:11:21Now it's time for the answers to What Am I?
0:11:21 > 0:11:23'What am I?'
0:11:23 > 0:11:26OK, that's right. What Am I?
0:11:26 > 0:11:31Remember the question, I am a thing you turn to open a door.
0:11:31 > 0:11:34I have a silent K.
0:11:34 > 0:11:37I'm also a measurement of butter.
0:11:37 > 0:11:38What am I?
0:11:38 > 0:11:40'What am I?'
0:11:40 > 0:11:44Some of you texted in the answer before I even read out the question,
0:11:44 > 0:11:45which I think is pretty amazing.
0:11:45 > 0:11:48You need to congratulate yourselves.
0:11:48 > 0:11:49I am a knob.
0:11:49 > 0:11:50Well done.
0:11:50 > 0:11:53OK, another What Am I? coming up tomorrow.
0:11:53 > 0:11:57Now, a reminder there's only two hours left to vote in the
0:11:57 > 0:12:02Patients' Choice Awards, so get down there and vote for Ivan Brackenbury.
0:12:02 > 0:12:04Or whoever you might want to vote for.
0:12:04 > 0:12:07They want to vote for Ivan Brackenbury, Shaz. Stop telling them what to do!
0:12:07 > 0:12:09Well it'd mean loads to win a Patients' Choice,
0:12:09 > 0:12:13because it means the patients have chosen you.
0:12:13 > 0:12:15I think I deserve to get it for my charity work.
0:12:15 > 0:12:18In the last year I've done over 200 different charity fundraisers
0:12:18 > 0:12:22and over half of them I've raised money, so...
0:12:22 > 0:12:24I hope I've done enough.
0:12:24 > 0:12:27I've tried my best anyway, and it's like my mum used to say,
0:12:27 > 0:12:31"Sometimes, Ivan, your best isn't good enough."
0:12:35 > 0:12:38SHE GASPS
0:12:38 > 0:12:40Oh, it looks amazing.
0:12:40 > 0:12:42It's just... Just like I dreamed.
0:12:43 > 0:12:45Oh!
0:12:45 > 0:12:47Oh, I think I'm going to have to sit down.
0:12:49 > 0:12:50- Sunny?- Hmm?
0:12:50 > 0:12:51Oh!
0:12:53 > 0:12:55SHE SIGHS
0:12:55 > 0:12:57I've always dreamed of hosting lavish, high-class events.
0:12:57 > 0:13:00At college I was President of the Summer Ball.
0:13:00 > 0:13:02I'm made for hosting these types of events.
0:13:02 > 0:13:04I had quite the reputation.
0:13:04 > 0:13:07They'd say, "No-one holds balls better than Susan Mitchell."
0:13:10 > 0:13:13Testing the microphone! Testing. Testing.
0:13:13 > 0:13:16Careful with that ice eagle! For goodness' sake!
0:13:16 > 0:13:18Actually, is one ice eagle going to be enough?
0:13:18 > 0:13:19Could we stretch to another one?
0:13:19 > 0:13:21How much is in the budget?
0:13:21 > 0:13:23Minus 24,000.
0:13:23 > 0:13:26Does that mean we've got 24,000 left to spend?
0:13:26 > 0:13:29It means that we've spent 24,000 more than we should have.
0:13:29 > 0:13:31Well, don't say it like that, you make it sound negative.
0:13:31 > 0:13:35In maths, don't two negatives make a positive?
0:13:35 > 0:13:40If we spent another £24,000, would we be back to zero?
0:13:40 > 0:13:41- No. - SHE SIGHS
0:13:41 > 0:13:43Where's Jeremy Lace?
0:13:43 > 0:13:44Oh, I thought he was here?
0:13:44 > 0:13:47Jeremy Lace? Jeremy Lace?
0:13:47 > 0:13:50Has anyone seen Jeremy Lace?
0:13:50 > 0:13:53And breathing in for me.
0:13:53 > 0:13:57And out for me.
0:13:57 > 0:13:59Yep, good, good, good, good.
0:13:59 > 0:14:00Yep, a little murmur.
0:14:00 > 0:14:03Now, it's probably nothing, but we will need to run some tests.
0:14:03 > 0:14:06- Thank you, Doctor. - Oh, "Doctor".
0:14:06 > 0:14:09Feels good to hear that again.
0:14:09 > 0:14:13Right, who have we got here? Let's have a little look.
0:14:13 > 0:14:14Oh, dear!
0:14:19 > 0:14:20Thank you for this award.
0:14:20 > 0:14:23I'm not saying I'm nervous, but this isn't the first time today
0:14:23 > 0:14:25I've got up from a warm seat with a sheet of paper in my hand.
0:14:25 > 0:14:27SHE LAUGHS HYSTERICALLY
0:14:27 > 0:14:29She loves it.
0:14:29 > 0:14:31OK, Mrs Leydon, how do I look?
0:14:34 > 0:14:36I would.
0:14:36 > 0:14:38I love getting dressed up for an event or a party,
0:14:38 > 0:14:41and I also like looking smart at work.
0:14:41 > 0:14:45People expect a certain look from a man of the cloth, and it comes in handy.
0:14:45 > 0:14:47Once I was invited to a vicar and tarts party.
0:14:47 > 0:14:49I was already wearing the outfit.
0:14:49 > 0:14:51Stockings and suspenders!
0:14:51 > 0:14:54You weren't expecting that, were you? The old switcheroo!
0:15:00 > 0:15:01Oh, excuse me? Do you know the way to theatre?
0:15:01 > 0:15:03Stop crowding me, this is an emergency.
0:15:03 > 0:15:05Where on earth is he?
0:15:05 > 0:15:07Quickly! She's in VF. I need pethidine.
0:15:07 > 0:15:11Jeremy, what are you doing? We need to get to the awards.
0:15:11 > 0:15:12What? Really?
0:15:12 > 0:15:15I'm about to do an operation.
0:15:15 > 0:15:17You can't operate on the patients.
0:15:17 > 0:15:19All right. You guys go on ahead.
0:15:20 > 0:15:22Can I at least keep the scrubs?
0:15:23 > 0:15:26I think we need to keep a tighter lead on Jeremy.
0:15:26 > 0:15:28He might be mental.
0:15:34 > 0:15:36Check mic, one, two.
0:15:38 > 0:15:39Hey, it's amazing,
0:15:39 > 0:15:43I've had this suit since I was 18, and it still fits. Look!
0:15:43 > 0:15:46As long as I don't bend my arms and my legs.
0:15:46 > 0:15:49- How do I look? - Yeah, really...tight.- Yeah?
0:15:49 > 0:15:51Do you think I'll be all right doing the evening show?
0:15:51 > 0:15:54- Do you think I'm ready? - Oh, Shaz!
0:15:54 > 0:15:55Of course you're not ready.
0:15:55 > 0:15:58It takes years of practice before you're on-air ready.
0:15:58 > 0:16:01- No, you have the night off.- Right.
0:16:01 > 0:16:02So who's doing the show, then?
0:16:02 > 0:16:06What's got two thumbs and loves being on hospital radio?
0:16:06 > 0:16:08This guy!
0:16:08 > 0:16:11I'm going to do one of my classic episodes.
0:16:11 > 0:16:13Come on, out of me hot seat.
0:16:13 > 0:16:16And don't get in it again. It's sacred.
0:16:16 > 0:16:20Now, as I'll be away at the Hospital Radio Awards this evening,
0:16:20 > 0:16:24I'm going to leave you with one of Ivan's Classic Episodes.
0:16:24 > 0:16:25'Clas-s-s-s-sic Episode!'
0:16:25 > 0:16:29This comes from all the way back from 2001.
0:16:29 > 0:16:33It's so embarrassing to hear how raw I sounded back then.
0:16:33 > 0:16:34Enjoy!
0:16:36 > 0:16:39'Hello, Brimlington Hospital, we are live on a Monday.
0:16:39 > 0:16:41- 'Tuesday! - Oh, hang on, wrong one!'
0:16:41 > 0:16:42- HE SHUDDERS - Oh, God!
0:16:42 > 0:16:44'Wednesday!
0:16:44 > 0:16:46- 'You have to go round. - Friday!'
0:16:46 > 0:16:48Can you believe I used to make mistakes like that back then?
0:16:48 > 0:16:50What an amateur.
0:16:50 > 0:16:51- Your mic's still on.- Oh!
0:16:51 > 0:16:54- 'This keeps happening! - Sunday!
0:16:54 > 0:16:57- 'Here we go - Monday! - Merry Christmas!
0:16:57 > 0:16:58'Oh, for goodness' sake!'
0:16:58 > 0:17:00- HE WHIMPERS - What happened?
0:17:00 > 0:17:02We'll know more when your X-rays are back.
0:17:02 > 0:17:05- In the meantime, I'll get you some pain relief.- Oh, yeah, nice try!
0:17:05 > 0:17:08Getting me hooked on the trap of Western medicine.
0:17:08 > 0:17:10- I don't think so. - HE GROANS LOUDLY
0:17:10 > 0:17:12You need something for the pain.
0:17:12 > 0:17:14I've got something - these!
0:17:14 > 0:17:15My own healing hands.
0:17:17 > 0:17:20People say if there was any proof alternative medicine worked,
0:17:20 > 0:17:21it'd just be called medicine.
0:17:21 > 0:17:23Well, I've seen the proof.
0:17:23 > 0:17:26I had this one lady - she decided to shun conventional medicine
0:17:26 > 0:17:28and just go the naturalistic way.
0:17:28 > 0:17:31Now, she did die, but that's not the point.
0:17:31 > 0:17:34Everyone dies from conventional medicine eventually.
0:17:34 > 0:17:36It's got a 100% fail rate in the long run,
0:17:36 > 0:17:39but they don't bang on about that, do they?
0:17:54 > 0:17:56Oh, for goodness' sake!
0:17:56 > 0:17:59That's God heckling you, Mrs Leydon.
0:18:01 > 0:18:02Yeah, I'm in a band. No big deal.
0:18:02 > 0:18:04We were called The Congregations.
0:18:04 > 0:18:06Then we were The Rhythm Method.
0:18:06 > 0:18:08And then we became The Disciples.
0:18:08 > 0:18:11After that we decided to focus on what was really working for us,
0:18:11 > 0:18:14so we renamed the outfit Father Kenny and the Lads.
0:18:14 > 0:18:16Try and keep up, Mrs Leydon.
0:18:17 > 0:18:20She's to music what Yoko Ono was...
0:18:20 > 0:18:21to music.
0:18:22 > 0:18:24Hiya, you all right?
0:18:24 > 0:18:26Good party, ain't it?
0:18:30 > 0:18:32Wow! You look very gold.
0:18:32 > 0:18:34Oh, this old thing?
0:18:34 > 0:18:36Just something I threw on.
0:18:36 > 0:18:37Where's the rest of our table?
0:18:37 > 0:18:38SHE SNAPS HER FINGERS Chair!
0:18:38 > 0:18:41Well, the Health Minister was unavailable,
0:18:41 > 0:18:44and Michelle Obama still hasn't got back to us.
0:18:44 > 0:18:45Fingers crossed.
0:18:45 > 0:18:48Yes. And Lady Grantham is actually a character from Downton Abbey.
0:18:48 > 0:18:51I meant the actress, just in the costume!
0:18:51 > 0:18:53I think it will still be a no.
0:18:54 > 0:18:56Oh! Ah! Ahh!
0:18:56 > 0:18:58'Ladies and gentlemen,
0:18:58 > 0:19:01'welcome to the Annual Regional Hospital Awards.'
0:19:01 > 0:19:03Oh, it's me!
0:19:03 > 0:19:05'Give a big welcome to your celebrity host,
0:19:05 > 0:19:09'without doubt the highest profile host the awards has ever had,
0:19:09 > 0:19:12'making Sheffield's effort last year look, frankly, pathetic...'
0:19:12 > 0:19:14I got a bit carried away.
0:19:14 > 0:19:16'..actor Jeremy Lace!'
0:19:26 > 0:19:32Hello, and welcome to the 14th Annual Regional Hospital Awards
0:19:32 > 0:19:35where we celebrate the very best in medicine.
0:19:35 > 0:19:39But what does the very best in medicine look like?
0:19:39 > 0:19:45Well, for 11 years, it looked a little bit like me.
0:19:45 > 0:19:47Or my character, Dr Richard Good.
0:19:47 > 0:19:50But then, like all hospitals, there were cuts.
0:19:50 > 0:19:54And suddenly, Good Medicine didn't need Dr Richard Good.
0:19:54 > 0:19:58"Er, excuse me? Isn't his name in the title of the show?"
0:19:58 > 0:20:02"Er, excuse me? Wasn't he the best bloody thing in the show?"
0:20:02 > 0:20:04- SHOUTING:- Yes! He was!
0:20:04 > 0:20:05HE CLEARS HIS THROAT
0:20:05 > 0:20:06- QUIETLY:- He was. He...
0:20:08 > 0:20:12So that brings us to the first award of the evening,
0:20:12 > 0:20:13Department Of The Year.
0:20:13 > 0:20:16- And the winner is... - DRUMROLL
0:20:16 > 0:20:19Oh! Oncology!
0:20:21 > 0:20:24This is the third successive year Oncology have taken the award.
0:20:24 > 0:20:28Narrowly beating off competition from Paediatrics.
0:20:28 > 0:20:31Oncology also has more O's in it than any other ward -
0:20:31 > 0:20:34with three!
0:20:34 > 0:20:36Well, the X-rays were pretty conclusive.
0:20:36 > 0:20:37Yep.
0:20:37 > 0:20:40- You can clearly see here two kidney ston...- Kidney stones!
0:20:40 > 0:20:42Yeah, I knew that.
0:20:42 > 0:20:44I actually wrote that down...mentally.
0:20:46 > 0:20:47Now, there are a couple of options.
0:20:47 > 0:20:50The stones are just small enough to pass naturally,
0:20:50 > 0:20:52but it will be incredibly painful.
0:20:52 > 0:20:55Just out of interest, what's the other option?
0:20:55 > 0:20:56We give you general anaesthetic,
0:20:56 > 0:20:58then use ultrasound to break the stones up.
0:20:58 > 0:21:01It's relatively painless, but you did say you were opposed
0:21:01 > 0:21:04to conventional medicine, so you'll obviously want to try passing it.
0:21:05 > 0:21:07Yeah.
0:21:09 > 0:21:12A truly richly deserved award,
0:21:12 > 0:21:14Doctor Of The Year!
0:21:16 > 0:21:18And now,
0:21:18 > 0:21:23the sad moment when we remember all those we've lost this year.
0:21:25 > 0:21:28Brimlington Hospital fondly remembers...
0:21:28 > 0:21:30MUSIC: Every Breath You Take by The Police
0:21:30 > 0:21:32..Ben Davis.
0:21:35 > 0:21:37Adam Thompson.
0:21:37 > 0:21:38Who are all these people?
0:21:39 > 0:21:41Erm, people who died last year.
0:21:41 > 0:21:43What, and they've won an award for that?
0:21:43 > 0:21:46No, Susan. They... They're dead.
0:21:47 > 0:21:48Rebecca Sutton.
0:21:48 > 0:21:51She didn't do much when she was alive.
0:21:51 > 0:21:52OK good.
0:21:52 > 0:21:55Dr Richard Pinner and Scraps.
0:21:58 > 0:22:01And the numerous Brimlington patients that are no longer with us.
0:22:10 > 0:22:11All right.
0:22:11 > 0:22:13Beautiful.
0:22:13 > 0:22:15Really beautiful.
0:22:15 > 0:22:19And now, the Patients' Choice Award.
0:22:19 > 0:22:21Here we go!
0:22:24 > 0:22:29And the winner of the Patients' Choice Award is...
0:22:31 > 0:22:33..Rosa Shepherd!
0:22:34 > 0:22:36Who?
0:22:38 > 0:22:42Rosa has worked tirelessly this year in her role as paediatric nurse
0:22:42 > 0:22:47and co-ordinated the hospital's Swim For Scarlet Fever charity event,
0:22:47 > 0:22:51which raised over £85,000.
0:22:57 > 0:22:59LOUD CRASHING
0:23:08 > 0:23:10HE SIGHS
0:23:11 > 0:23:13No!
0:23:15 > 0:23:18I've had a long chat with the spirits and they're telling me
0:23:18 > 0:23:22that passing the stone naturally is the wrong path for me.
0:23:22 > 0:23:24I don't know why or what they've seen,
0:23:24 > 0:23:27but it would be hypocritical of me to go against them.
0:23:27 > 0:23:30So you do want the anaesthetic now, then?
0:23:30 > 0:23:32Yes.
0:23:39 > 0:23:43And so we turn to the final award of the evening.
0:23:43 > 0:23:47A new award in a new category,
0:23:47 > 0:23:50Female Excellence In Local Management.
0:23:50 > 0:23:54Singling out the best female hospital manager
0:23:54 > 0:23:56in the Brimlington area.
0:23:56 > 0:23:57I didn't know there was a new award.
0:23:57 > 0:23:59Oh, didn't I mention it? No big deal.
0:23:59 > 0:24:02- And the winner is... - DRUMROLL
0:24:05 > 0:24:07..Susan Mitchell!
0:24:07 > 0:24:09Susan Mitchell?! Oh, my goodness!
0:24:09 > 0:24:11Oh, wow! Oh, I'm gobsmacked.
0:24:11 > 0:24:14Oh! Oh, for me?
0:24:14 > 0:24:17Oh! Ohh!
0:24:20 > 0:24:21Yes! Ohh!
0:24:21 > 0:24:26Oh, thank you so much. For me?!
0:24:27 > 0:24:30Erm, yes, I've prepared a few words. I'll keep it short.
0:24:30 > 0:24:33Where is it? Here it is.
0:24:34 > 0:24:39In June 1965, a grocer came home from the pub with a glint in his eye
0:24:39 > 0:24:44and nine months later, a baby girl was born - 9lb 2oz.
0:24:44 > 0:24:47Sometimes as a manager, you don't get the attention you deserve.
0:24:47 > 0:24:49People just focus on the negative.
0:24:49 > 0:24:54Only last month we had no ambulances arriving late to accidents.
0:24:54 > 0:24:57Admittedly, we had no ambulances,
0:24:57 > 0:25:00but why focus on that side of an otherwise great story?
0:25:01 > 0:25:03But I won't stop here, Brimlington.
0:25:03 > 0:25:06My dream is to have my own ward named after me.
0:25:06 > 0:25:11I dream of the day when the sick people of Brimlington
0:25:11 > 0:25:15can enter Susan Mitchell, knowing that they'll soon get relief.
0:25:16 > 0:25:18Thank you. Thank you so much.
0:25:18 > 0:25:21SCATTERED APPLAUSE
0:25:21 > 0:25:23Thank you. Thank you.
0:25:24 > 0:25:26Sunny? Come here.
0:25:26 > 0:25:28Kick the balloons out of the way.
0:25:28 > 0:25:33Thank you. Thank you so much, Thank you. Oh, my goodness!
0:25:33 > 0:25:35Thank you. Thank you so much.
0:25:39 > 0:25:42DISCO MUSIC
0:25:49 > 0:25:52- Hiya! Have you got Grandma (We Love You)?- No.
0:25:52 > 0:25:54St Winifred's School Choir?
0:25:54 > 0:25:55Sorry, mate, I've got none.
0:25:55 > 0:25:56- What about Agadoo?- No.
0:25:56 > 0:25:57- Black Lace?- No.
0:25:57 > 0:25:59Have you got Superman by Black Lace?
0:25:59 > 0:26:01- Have you got any Black Lace? - No Black Lace.
0:26:01 > 0:26:02- Chicken Song?- No.
0:26:02 > 0:26:03Star Trekking?
0:26:03 > 0:26:04Nellie the Elephant?
0:26:04 > 0:26:07- Toy Dolls? They're, like, a punk band.- No.
0:26:07 > 0:26:08- Orville's Song?- No.
0:26:08 > 0:26:10- You got anything by Jive Bunny?- No!
0:26:10 > 0:26:14Nothing? Oh, for goodness' sake.
0:26:14 > 0:26:15I wouldn't bother. He's got nothing.
0:26:15 > 0:26:17So unprofessional!
0:26:26 > 0:26:27Look at her.
0:26:27 > 0:26:29- Whore!- All right, Mrs Leydon.
0:26:41 > 0:26:43Your limo's here
0:26:43 > 0:26:44Yes, thank you, Sunny.
0:26:44 > 0:26:46Winners travel in style.
0:26:46 > 0:26:48The awards were a massive success.
0:26:48 > 0:26:50I mean, yes, they were financially challenging,
0:26:50 > 0:26:53but you can't put a price on staff morale - specifically mine.
0:26:53 > 0:26:55Before this award, I'd never won anything.
0:26:55 > 0:26:57People said I was a failure.
0:26:57 > 0:27:01Does a failure give themselves the Female Manager Of The Year Award?
0:27:01 > 0:27:02I don't think so.
0:27:04 > 0:27:06So did you get Jeremy Lace away OK?
0:27:09 > 0:27:11I thought he was with you?
0:27:13 > 0:27:15Nearly under, he's all yours.
0:27:18 > 0:27:21Now, you're not to worry. You're in very safe hands.
0:27:21 > 0:27:24In fact, I remember doing one of these in a very tricky episode
0:27:24 > 0:27:26of Good Medicine.
0:27:26 > 0:27:27HE MUMBLES QUESTIONINGLY
0:27:27 > 0:27:29Right! Let's open him up.