0:00:43 > 0:00:46Ivan Brackenbury, out and about, reaching out and touching patients.
0:00:46 > 0:00:51Hi, everyone! We're broadcasting live from Ward Seven.
0:00:51 > 0:00:55The hospital radio studio is having a refit so we're out and about
0:00:55 > 0:00:57like a Radio 1 Big Weekender.
0:00:57 > 0:01:01- 'Out and about.'- Shout out if you're having a great time.
0:01:01 > 0:01:05MAN SCREAMS IN PAIN Yeah!
0:01:05 > 0:01:09The staff and patients have been really supportive during the refit.
0:01:09 > 0:01:12They've been coming up to me all week and saying they can't wait
0:01:12 > 0:01:14for me to be back in the studio.
0:01:14 > 0:01:16We're going to have to operate.
0:01:16 > 0:01:17Hiya, are we having fun?
0:01:17 > 0:01:20Ivan Brackenbury here, the cheerful earful!
0:01:20 > 0:01:22We're live on hospital radio.
0:01:22 > 0:01:26- Have you got a request?- Leave me alone.- Michael Jackson, love him.
0:01:26 > 0:01:28Whoohoo! What you in for?
0:01:28 > 0:01:31You've got to speak up. We're live on the radio.
0:01:31 > 0:01:33If you're having a good time, let your face know.
0:01:33 > 0:01:34Hey-hey-hey!
0:01:39 > 0:01:41Well, who HAVE you got? If we're going to do a charity single,
0:01:41 > 0:01:42we're going to need a big name.
0:01:42 > 0:01:45No, that is exactly how we got into this financial mess.
0:01:45 > 0:01:49- Big names mean big money.- Big names don't do charity for money.
0:01:49 > 0:01:51They do it cos it makes them look good.
0:01:51 > 0:01:54OK, but we don't need Aled Jones or Gareth Malone or any of
0:01:54 > 0:01:59those other names. I've managed to get...Neville Burley.
0:01:59 > 0:02:02- Neville Burley?!- Yeah, he's the local choirmaster. He's brilliant.
0:02:02 > 0:02:06- He sounds boring.- No, no, no, Neville's not boring, OK?
0:02:06 > 0:02:09He's got a past, but he turned his life around with choir singing
0:02:09 > 0:02:12and I really think he could turn this place around...
0:02:12 > 0:02:16Are we not missing a trick by not going with the nude calendar idea?
0:02:16 > 0:02:19I'm willing to do it if you are. We need to go balls out on this.
0:02:22 > 0:02:23I'm calling Neville.
0:02:32 > 0:02:35What you need to do is balance your chakras, Deepak your Chopras
0:02:35 > 0:02:39and then get a homeopath, reiki master, an acupuncturist and
0:02:39 > 0:02:43then just clarify your aura and decalcify your penal gland.
0:02:43 > 0:02:44If you do that every morning,
0:02:44 > 0:02:47you'll find out definitely that you'll have a relaxing day.
0:02:47 > 0:02:50My name's PC Davies, this is PC Tanner.
0:02:50 > 0:02:52- We've just got a few questions for you.- One minute.
0:02:52 > 0:02:54We'd like to get a description of the thief.
0:02:54 > 0:02:56- I didn't really get a good look at him.- OK. Is there any...
0:02:56 > 0:03:00Excuse me, sorry to interrupt. I'm a psychic and I'd like to help you.
0:03:00 > 0:03:04I had a premonition about this moment and in that premonition
0:03:04 > 0:03:05you said that I could.
0:03:08 > 0:03:11You know, you hear a lot about psychics helping the police
0:03:11 > 0:03:13over in America and I wish they did a lot more of it here.
0:03:13 > 0:03:17They spend over 6 billion on psychic services a year
0:03:17 > 0:03:19so if this stuff isn't real,
0:03:19 > 0:03:23that's an awful lot of people being conned and scammed.
0:03:23 > 0:03:24And I don't know about you,
0:03:24 > 0:03:27but I don't think the Americans are that stupid.
0:03:27 > 0:03:29Or easily led.
0:03:29 > 0:03:31The spirits will help you catch the thief you seek.
0:03:31 > 0:03:34- No, it's all right, sir, we can... - Shhh. One minute.
0:03:34 > 0:03:36I've got someone coming through now.
0:03:36 > 0:03:39Would I be right in saying that this person had little respect or
0:03:39 > 0:03:46- no respect for property? - Oh, yes, that's bang on.- OK. Right.
0:03:46 > 0:03:49Let's hold hands and form a circle of trust. Actually, you're fine.
0:03:49 > 0:03:51I'll just do it on my own.
0:03:57 > 0:04:04I now declare this brand-new digital radio station open!
0:04:04 > 0:04:06RECORDING OF APPLAUSE
0:04:07 > 0:04:12- Well, are you going to look inside? - In a minute. It's so exciting.
0:04:12 > 0:04:14It's like Christmas Day. Except I'm not on my own.
0:04:16 > 0:04:19I've done over 200 different fundraisers in the last year
0:04:19 > 0:04:21to raise money for a digital studio
0:04:21 > 0:04:25and it's going to make a massive difference.
0:04:25 > 0:04:29The only difference between me and Nick Grimshaw is
0:04:29 > 0:04:31he's got an up-to-date studio.
0:04:31 > 0:04:35Hello, Brimlington, Ivan Brackenbury here.
0:04:35 > 0:04:37And you might have noticed I sound different.
0:04:37 > 0:04:43- That's because I'm broadcasting to you in digital.- Oooh!- All right.
0:04:43 > 0:04:47Right, we've got hospital radio news. Now, where's the jingle?
0:04:47 > 0:04:51- Touch-screen now, Ivan. - Yeah, I know that. One minute.
0:04:51 > 0:04:54CACOPHONY OF JINGLES
0:04:56 > 0:04:59Right, forget the jingle, I'll do it myself.
0:05:01 > 0:05:04Hospital radio news with Ivan Brackenbury.
0:05:04 > 0:05:07FEEBLE FANFARE IMPRESSION
0:05:07 > 0:05:09He's bonkers!
0:05:09 > 0:05:12Right, there will be auditions for a special charity song in
0:05:12 > 0:05:15- the hospital manager's office today. - Wow, that's so cool...
0:05:15 > 0:05:18I have to interrupt you there, Shaz. Just one minute, for goodness' sake.
0:05:18 > 0:05:21I'm going to have the exclusive first play of
0:05:21 > 0:05:23the Brimlington Hospital charity song.
0:05:23 > 0:05:27And speaking of songs...I don't know what song we've got next,
0:05:27 > 0:05:30I can't see anything on the screen.
0:05:30 > 0:05:33OK, so now we have some classic Elton John for you,
0:05:33 > 0:05:37taken from the fourth studio album Madman Across The Water,
0:05:37 > 0:05:41which was released in 1971. This still sounds brilliant.
0:05:41 > 0:05:44- This is Tiny Dancer. - Shaz, I do the links!
0:05:44 > 0:05:48Honestly, you just made the show sound really unprofessional.
0:05:48 > 0:05:51- Your mic was still on.- Oh, bum! - Don't worry, I faded it down.
0:05:51 > 0:05:53Right, I'm going to the toilet.
0:05:53 > 0:05:55Don't forget your headphones. Argh!
0:06:01 > 0:06:07No, I take choir singing extremely seriously, Susan. It saved my life.
0:06:07 > 0:06:14Let's just say... Well, I had some anger issues. But...
0:06:14 > 0:06:16being a choirmaster has turned me around.
0:06:16 > 0:06:19- Now I just want to help others. - Good sob story.
0:06:19 > 0:06:21Let's hope we have a few more of those today.
0:06:21 > 0:06:23Remember, it's about the whole package. They've got to look right.
0:06:23 > 0:06:25No, no, it's just about voices.
0:06:25 > 0:06:28- Doesn't matter what people look like.- Good thinking, Neville.
0:06:28 > 0:06:30Let's get some Susan Boyles. Come!
0:06:31 > 0:06:34- Hello. What's your name?- Sam.
0:06:34 > 0:06:40Right, you're under a lot of pressure, so have fun with it.
0:06:40 > 0:06:42# This little light of mine
0:06:42 > 0:06:45# I'm going to let it shine
0:06:45 > 0:06:47# This little light of mine
0:06:47 > 0:06:49# I'm going to let it shine
0:06:49 > 0:06:51# This little light of mine... #
0:06:51 > 0:06:54Oh, sorry, I need to go around again. Bear with me.
0:06:54 > 0:06:55# ..let it shine. #
0:06:55 > 0:06:57- What are you doing? - Oh, I feel really sick.
0:06:57 > 0:06:59It's probably not your singing.
0:06:59 > 0:07:01- Should I start again?- No... - No, I think we've heard enough.
0:07:01 > 0:07:06- That was exquisite.- I have to say, I didn't like your performance.
0:07:06 > 0:07:07I loved it!
0:07:07 > 0:07:09But I'm wondering if it's good enough to be
0:07:09 > 0:07:11in the Brimlington choir.
0:07:11 > 0:07:12And I think it is!
0:07:12 > 0:07:15But I am wondering if you've got that certain something.
0:07:15 > 0:07:19- And I think you do! However... - You're in the choir.
0:07:20 > 0:07:25- And it's a yes from me. - Oh, thank you.- Well done. Next.
0:07:27 > 0:07:31- Hello. What's your name? - Hi, I'm Gary.
0:07:31 > 0:07:33The song I'm singing is very close to my heart.
0:07:33 > 0:07:37I used to sing it every day to my gran before she died last year.
0:07:37 > 0:07:39I just hope she's up there listening.
0:07:39 > 0:07:41- Brilliant. You're through.- Really?
0:07:41 > 0:07:45- Yes.- Thanks, Gran.- Next.
0:07:47 > 0:07:49Hello. What's your name?
0:07:54 > 0:07:56SINGING FROM INSIDE CHAPEL
0:07:56 > 0:07:59# Make me happy
0:07:59 > 0:08:02# Through the years
0:08:02 > 0:08:04# Never bring me
0:08:04 > 0:08:06# Any tears... #
0:08:06 > 0:08:08I guess you could say I'm a triple threat.
0:08:08 > 0:08:11Comedian, singer, musician.
0:08:11 > 0:08:13Oh, I'm a great cook as well.
0:08:13 > 0:08:15And an actor. A bit of a poet.
0:08:15 > 0:08:20Great with kids. Good public speaker. Kind to animals.
0:08:20 > 0:08:25I don't smoke. What else? Oh, and I'm a vicar.
0:08:25 > 0:08:31# Bring me fun, bring me laughter, bring me love. #
0:08:31 > 0:08:34- All right, Mrs Leydon, what do you reckon?- Brilliant.
0:08:34 > 0:08:37- Voice of an angel.- Body of a god. - Shame it's Buddha.
0:08:39 > 0:08:41Oh, one of mine there. She's learning.
0:08:41 > 0:08:44OK, I've actually lost a couple of pounds recently so...
0:08:44 > 0:08:46Anyway, you focus on the timing, OK? You were out on that.
0:08:46 > 0:08:47Way out. All right?
0:08:49 > 0:08:50Right, what's next?
0:08:56 > 0:09:00OK, the spirits are with me now. I've got a very clear picture.
0:09:01 > 0:09:03I want to say this person was an adult, yeah,
0:09:03 > 0:09:06either a male or a female. Does that make sense with you?
0:09:06 > 0:09:08- It was a bloke, I heard his voice. - Please don't interrupt.
0:09:08 > 0:09:12Please, Carol. I don't want to be influenced by you in any way.
0:09:12 > 0:09:15I just want information to come to me from the spirits.
0:09:15 > 0:09:16Does that make sense?
0:09:16 > 0:09:20I'm getting that this was a bloke with a male voice.
0:09:21 > 0:09:22I'm hearing the accent.
0:09:22 > 0:09:25- What kind of accent would you say that was, Carol?- It was local.
0:09:25 > 0:09:29Local, correct, that's what I'm getting too, so that's two hits.
0:09:29 > 0:09:31What I'm seeing here is like a red number two.
0:09:31 > 0:09:35Does that make sense with you? A red number two. Have a think.
0:09:35 > 0:09:37I had beetroot yesterday.
0:09:38 > 0:09:44No, no, this is more like maybe a red door with what I would call
0:09:44 > 0:09:47- the number two on it, yes? - Oh, I didn't do that.
0:09:47 > 0:09:49No, no-one's judging you, Carol, OK?
0:09:50 > 0:09:52What I feel is that this man
0:09:52 > 0:09:54has been in trouble with the law before, OK?
0:09:54 > 0:09:58Whether it's littering or a brake light or murder, something
0:09:58 > 0:10:01like that and I feel definitely you're going to find something, OK?
0:10:01 > 0:10:04- Yeah, well, thanks for that.- Mm-hm.
0:10:04 > 0:10:07- If anything else comes to you, do let us know.- Me or Carol?
0:10:07 > 0:10:11- Carol.- Carol.- Right. OK. God bless, my love. Good luck.
0:10:11 > 0:10:13We didn't get your name, sir.
0:10:13 > 0:10:15Oh, Ian D Montford.
0:10:15 > 0:10:17Is that D-E Montford?
0:10:17 > 0:10:20- It's actually just D. - What does the D stand for?
0:10:20 > 0:10:23Some people say Divine, others Deeply Spiritual...
0:10:23 > 0:10:24Yeah, what does it stand for?
0:10:26 > 0:10:31- It's Dean.- Ian Dean Montford. Thank you.- Thank you.
0:10:37 > 0:10:38I'm in! Ha!
0:10:38 > 0:10:39Next!
0:10:42 > 0:10:45Wish we had those big red buttons. Parp!
0:10:45 > 0:10:47- Is that too high?- No.- OK.
0:10:47 > 0:10:50When you're ready, my darlings, absolutely no pressure.
0:10:50 > 0:10:52Well, a bit of pressure. This could be a life-changing moment.
0:10:52 > 0:10:55This is what you've dreamed about.
0:10:55 > 0:10:56All right, Mrs L, hit it.
0:10:56 > 0:10:59MUSIC PLAYS
0:10:59 > 0:11:03# They say we're young and we don't know
0:11:03 > 0:11:07# We won't find out until we grow
0:11:09 > 0:11:12# Well, I don't know if that's true
0:11:12 > 0:11:17# But you got me and baby, I got you... #
0:11:17 > 0:11:18Chorus.
0:11:18 > 0:11:20- BOTH:- # Babe
0:11:22 > 0:11:24# I got you, babe.
0:11:24 > 0:11:25# I got you... #
0:11:25 > 0:11:26Stop, stop, stop!
0:11:26 > 0:11:28Look, I think we've heard enough.
0:11:28 > 0:11:32- This is never easy, but it's a no from me.- What?!
0:11:32 > 0:11:35May I just ask, do you come as a pair?
0:11:35 > 0:11:36- No.- Absolutely.
0:11:36 > 0:11:38Well, yeah.
0:11:38 > 0:11:42Because Mrs Leydon, I feel, possesses that elusive something.
0:11:42 > 0:11:44Yeah, we're definitely a pair.
0:11:44 > 0:11:47Father Kenny, I feel you need to go away and do some growing up.
0:11:47 > 0:11:48Maybe come back next year.
0:11:50 > 0:11:53- I'm not going through without him. - Can we do another song?
0:11:53 > 0:11:54It's not about the song,
0:11:54 > 0:11:58it's about star quality and/or heart-breaking back stories.
0:11:58 > 0:12:01No, it's just about talented singers like Mrs Leydon.
0:12:01 > 0:12:04You wouldn't know talent if it kicked you up the arse!
0:12:04 > 0:12:06- Mrs L, easy.- Oh! Don't talk to Neville like that.
0:12:06 > 0:12:09He's got anger issues - he could flip out on all of us.
0:12:09 > 0:12:12Susan, please, that's all behind me.
0:12:12 > 0:12:14What's it to be, Mrs Leydon?
0:12:15 > 0:12:20- Mrs Leydon, you join the choir. I don't mind.- Really?
0:12:20 > 0:12:21Yeah...
0:12:22 > 0:12:24No! I won't.
0:12:24 > 0:12:27Great. Come on, Mrs L.
0:12:28 > 0:12:32I'm sorry I said that thing about kicking you up the arse.
0:12:32 > 0:12:34Don't worry, Mrs L. I've got a better idea.
0:12:34 > 0:12:38- Are you all right? Maybe take some deep breaths, calm down.- I'm fine.
0:12:39 > 0:12:40Next!
0:12:50 > 0:12:52HE SINGS ALONG
0:12:52 > 0:12:53# It's the final countdown
0:12:53 > 0:12:56# Boo boo boo boo
0:12:58 > 0:13:02# It's the final countdown! #
0:13:02 > 0:13:06Oh! That was for Edwin, who's the oldest patient in the hospital.
0:13:06 > 0:13:10- It's The Final Countdown.- Actually, it's not Edwin any more, it's Joan.
0:13:10 > 0:13:12- Did Edwin go home?- Kind of.
0:13:12 > 0:13:16Ah, lovely. How long will Joan hang on to the title?
0:13:16 > 0:13:19OK. Now it's time for What Animal's in my Pocket?
0:13:19 > 0:13:21Where you could win...
0:13:21 > 0:13:24Actually, before that, we've had stacks of e-mails in from listeners.
0:13:24 > 0:13:27- What? We hardly ever get e-mails in. - So, from Jilly from Ward Five.
0:13:27 > 0:13:28"Hi, Shaz and Ivan."
0:13:28 > 0:13:30It's Ivan and Shaz.
0:13:30 > 0:13:32"Loving the show. You two are hilarious."
0:13:32 > 0:13:33One here from Liz.
0:13:33 > 0:13:37"Loving the Shaz and Ivan show, really brightening up my day."
0:13:37 > 0:13:39No, look, it's not Shaz and Ivan.
0:13:39 > 0:13:42It's Ivan's, Ivan Brackenbury's Fun Lunch.
0:13:42 > 0:13:44- Are you all right, Ivan?- I'm fine!
0:13:44 > 0:13:48And it was a penguin in my pocket but it's going in the bin now.
0:13:50 > 0:13:53No, I don't really do double acts.
0:13:53 > 0:13:55I was in a double act once. This is Andy.
0:13:55 > 0:13:57He works at Zenith FM,
0:13:57 > 0:14:00it's the largest radio station in the North Midlands and he's on
0:14:00 > 0:14:03six figures, but do they let him do breakfast,
0:14:03 > 0:14:06lunchtime and drivetime like me? No, they don't.
0:14:06 > 0:14:09He's only allowed to do one show a day.
0:14:09 > 0:14:12Erm, he did say if I ever needed a job there'd be one going for me
0:14:12 > 0:14:16at Zenith. Talk about trying to get rid of the competition.
0:14:16 > 0:14:18Nice try, Andy!
0:14:24 > 0:14:26- Yeah, yeah.- OK.- Yeah.
0:14:26 > 0:14:29OK, we're ready to start.
0:14:29 > 0:14:30- Two, three...- Good luck, everyone.
0:14:32 > 0:14:34Two, three, four.
0:14:34 > 0:14:37# Oh
0:14:38 > 0:14:42# Oh... #
0:14:42 > 0:14:46Yes, this is a take, guys, good one.
0:14:46 > 0:14:49Except now it isn't because you talked over it.
0:14:49 > 0:14:55- Right.- OK, shall we take it from the top again? Two, three, four.
0:14:55 > 0:14:58# Oh
0:15:00 > 0:15:02# Oh... #
0:15:02 > 0:15:05Just thinking, shall we do a rap in the middle, make it cool?
0:15:05 > 0:15:07No!
0:15:08 > 0:15:10Susan...
0:15:10 > 0:15:12I've only got this afternoon to record
0:15:12 > 0:15:14so can we please get something down?
0:15:14 > 0:15:16Yes, all right. Count to ten, Neville.
0:15:17 > 0:15:20Are we still running? From the top again, then, thank you.
0:15:21 > 0:15:23- Two, three, four.- Five.
0:15:23 > 0:15:26- # Oh... # - PHONE RINGS
0:15:26 > 0:15:29Oh, that's mine, sorry, I'm going to have to take this.
0:15:29 > 0:15:30One minute.
0:15:31 > 0:15:33Yes, yes, hello.
0:15:35 > 0:15:36Yes, yes, it's going fine.
0:15:36 > 0:15:39Yeah, he's just about managing to keep a lid on his anger issues.
0:15:39 > 0:15:42For now.
0:15:49 > 0:15:53Well, your lifeline is long and strong. That's great news for you.
0:15:53 > 0:15:57This line here, that's a little bit short but nothing to worry about,
0:15:57 > 0:15:59that's your sun line so that's fine.
0:15:59 > 0:16:01Erm...
0:16:01 > 0:16:04Oh, no, I've got them the other way round, haven't I?
0:16:04 > 0:16:06It's the big thick one here that's your sun line
0:16:06 > 0:16:07and the little one's your...
0:16:09 > 0:16:10Let's do some reiki.
0:16:11 > 0:16:13Excuse us, Ian. Is now a good time?
0:16:13 > 0:16:16Oh! You're back. I knew you would be.
0:16:16 > 0:16:18You've caught the criminal, haven't you?
0:16:18 > 0:16:21Not yet, but we've located the stolen items at a residence.
0:16:21 > 0:16:24- It turns out you might have been on to something.- No.
0:16:24 > 0:16:27Derelict house, bright red front door, number two.
0:16:27 > 0:16:28No! I mean, well, yes!
0:16:28 > 0:16:31Obviously, cos like the spirits, they know everything.
0:16:31 > 0:16:35So we were hoping you'd help us with some of our other cases, maybe?
0:16:35 > 0:16:39- Absolutely, love to, yes. - Great. Follow me.
0:16:42 > 0:16:45It's good to have people in authority recognise you have
0:16:45 > 0:16:46genuine psychic gifts.
0:16:46 > 0:16:49I don't want to turn this into an "I told you so"
0:16:49 > 0:16:53to everyone who's ever doubted me so I'll keep this short.
0:16:53 > 0:16:57Joe Anderson, Mary Avery, Gary Barker.
0:16:57 > 0:16:59Sue Barker.
0:16:59 > 0:17:02Not that one. Erm...
0:17:02 > 0:17:04Sue Barker. That one.
0:17:08 > 0:17:10That last take was tantalisingly close.
0:17:10 > 0:17:12Here's an idea, though, how about a different song?
0:17:12 > 0:17:14Something with a bit more pizazz.
0:17:14 > 0:17:17No, we've selected the song and I've perfected the arrangements.
0:17:17 > 0:17:20No, no, it's just not making me want to party.
0:17:20 > 0:17:22Yes, well, it's a charity song for a hospital.
0:17:22 > 0:17:25What about something we can dance to? Livin' La Vida Loca,
0:17:25 > 0:17:28or maybe something from the Bridget Jones soundtrack.
0:17:28 > 0:17:30- Susan, could I have a word, please? - Yes.
0:17:31 > 0:17:34- I'm trying frightfully hard not to blow my top here.- Mm.
0:17:34 > 0:17:38- Could we please be allowed to get on with this?- Ooooh! Get off of me!
0:17:39 > 0:17:41I think we could all use a coffee.
0:17:42 > 0:17:45Susan, could you be an immense help and do a coffee run?
0:17:45 > 0:17:49OK, OK, but just calm down. When we get back, we'll talk Ricky Martin.
0:17:50 > 0:17:53Move out of my way, all of you get out of the way.
0:17:54 > 0:17:56DOOR SLAMS
0:17:56 > 0:18:00Turn over please. Right, from the top. One, two, three, four.
0:18:05 > 0:18:07Wow, Angela, that's so inspirational.
0:18:07 > 0:18:10'I was listening to what you said earlier, Shaz.
0:18:10 > 0:18:13'And I thought, "No, I'm not going to let this beat me." '
0:18:13 > 0:18:16I don't know where you get the strength.
0:18:16 > 0:18:17Sorry, you've got me going.
0:18:17 > 0:18:20- 'Now I'm going.'- What are we like?!
0:18:20 > 0:18:24Stay tuned to Ivan's mystery sandwich at 3:30 today.
0:18:24 > 0:18:27OK. Now we've got another caller on the line.
0:18:27 > 0:18:30Someone's already guessed the bread,
0:18:30 > 0:18:32but the filling's still up for grabs.
0:18:33 > 0:18:36- 'Hey, Shaz, loving the show.' - Aw. Thanks, mate.
0:18:36 > 0:18:37'It's really fantastic.'
0:18:37 > 0:18:40- 'It's the best it's ever been.' - What was your question?
0:18:40 > 0:18:44'It's kind of personal. I wondered if you had any advice on...'
0:18:48 > 0:18:51Andy, it's Ivan.
0:18:51 > 0:18:53From the Bonkers Brothers.
0:18:53 > 0:18:55How's it going at Zenith?
0:18:55 > 0:18:57Yeah, still at Brimlington.
0:18:58 > 0:19:00Yeah, still at me mum's.
0:19:00 > 0:19:04Andy, you know you said there'd always be a job going for me if I was interested?
0:19:06 > 0:19:08Yeah. Well, I'm interested.
0:19:12 > 0:19:17SINGING
0:19:19 > 0:19:21Yes! That's it!
0:19:27 > 0:19:30- I couldn't have liked it more. - That was amazing.
0:19:30 > 0:19:34- Thank you.- So much easier without that ghastly manager.- Susan, yeah.
0:19:34 > 0:19:36She's a massive pain in the arse.
0:19:36 > 0:19:38- Is she like that all the time? It must be exhausting.- Worse.
0:19:38 > 0:19:41She's practically run this hospital into the ground.
0:19:41 > 0:19:43VOICES FADE
0:19:43 > 0:19:46MELANCHOLY MUSIC PLAYS
0:19:49 > 0:19:52SUSAN SOBS
0:19:55 > 0:19:58- What happened?- They're saying I'm a terrible manager.
0:19:58 > 0:20:00I'm running the hospital into the ground.
0:20:00 > 0:20:02OK.
0:20:02 > 0:20:05It's out. Damage limitation time.
0:20:05 > 0:20:07Who's saying this?
0:20:07 > 0:20:12That stupid idiot choir and that psychopath Neville Burley.
0:20:12 > 0:20:15Oh, OK. That... That's fine.
0:20:15 > 0:20:19I thought you meant the Health Minister found out about the overspend.
0:20:19 > 0:20:20- Oh.- Are you OK?
0:20:20 > 0:20:22You're breathing very fast.
0:20:22 > 0:20:25I've downed 11 lattes. I'm off my tits.
0:20:25 > 0:20:28Another reason why I shouldn't be running a hospital.
0:20:28 > 0:20:33Hey, come on, you're a gre... You're a good manager.
0:20:33 > 0:20:34Hey, give me the cup.
0:20:34 > 0:20:37Give me the cup. Give me the cup!
0:20:37 > 0:20:39You do a fine job.
0:20:39 > 0:20:40Oh, yeah? How?
0:20:40 > 0:20:44Erm... OK. Give me a minute here, bit on the spot.
0:20:45 > 0:20:48A lot of managers stay here for a couple of months and then get
0:20:48 > 0:20:51promoted and leave but not you.
0:20:51 > 0:20:54No, you've really stuck with this hospital.
0:20:54 > 0:20:58- And you're the only one that can work that printer.- What printer?
0:20:58 > 0:20:59That's not you, is it?
0:20:59 > 0:21:01Oh...
0:21:01 > 0:21:03You dream big dreams.
0:21:03 > 0:21:05Most people look at what you're doing and think,
0:21:05 > 0:21:07"She hasn't got a clue. She's massively out of her depth."
0:21:07 > 0:21:10You're trying to make me feel better here, Sunny. Stay on message.
0:21:10 > 0:21:13Because they don't understand what a good manager does and
0:21:13 > 0:21:17- that's why you're at the top.- Yeah.
0:21:17 > 0:21:20You're right. Who cares what they say?
0:21:20 > 0:21:22I'm not going to wallow in here.
0:21:22 > 0:21:24I feel great.
0:21:24 > 0:21:27I don't know if it's your pep talk or the coffee,
0:21:27 > 0:21:28but my heart is racing.
0:21:28 > 0:21:31Dammit, I've got a hit single to produce.
0:21:31 > 0:21:34Oh, it's the coffee. VOMITING
0:21:34 > 0:21:37- Oh! Still a good manager, yeah. - SHE RETCHES
0:21:43 > 0:21:48Right, I'm back and I'm buzzing and we've got a hit single to record.
0:21:48 > 0:21:51No ifs, no buts, I don't care how angry you get.
0:21:51 > 0:21:53- Well, it's all pretty much in the bag, Susan.- Great.
0:21:53 > 0:21:56See what you can achieve when you don't lose your temper.
0:21:56 > 0:21:58- I didn't lose my temper, Susan. - Don't snap at me, Neville.
0:21:58 > 0:22:00Do you need to have five minutes to calm down?
0:22:00 > 0:22:03No, I've got a denouement to record - the final solo.
0:22:03 > 0:22:07While you...you're doing a s-solo, I've got a m-music video to produce.
0:22:07 > 0:22:09A d-director to find...
0:22:09 > 0:22:12A record company to g-get, a dis... d-distribution d-deal.
0:22:12 > 0:22:14I've had so much coffee I can't slow down.
0:22:14 > 0:22:17Don't tell me too slow down, Neville. I won't slow down. Oh!
0:22:17 > 0:22:19SPLAT!
0:22:20 > 0:22:23A great manager has to delegate, but you can still take the credit
0:22:23 > 0:22:24for it. It's like the Mafia.
0:22:24 > 0:22:27The Godfather at the top doesn't get his hands dirty doing any actual
0:22:27 > 0:22:30killing but they do get the respect for it and it's the same here.
0:22:30 > 0:22:33Not when people die, obviously, that's nothing to do with me.
0:22:33 > 0:22:35That's the doctors' fault.
0:22:43 > 0:22:45- See you tomorrow, Ivan.- Yeah.
0:22:45 > 0:22:48- Are you OK?- Erm, no.
0:22:48 > 0:22:51Can you sit down? I've got something really important to tell you, Shaz.
0:22:51 > 0:22:53- Sure.- Right. Erm...
0:22:53 > 0:22:59I-I've been here over 23 years and sometimes, you know...
0:22:59 > 0:23:04Oh, my rabbit, I've been looking for that. Brilliant, great.
0:23:04 > 0:23:09- ..and sometimes it's just time to move on.- Oh, Ivan, you're not?
0:23:09 > 0:23:11Well, I don't think you and me are working, Shaz.
0:23:13 > 0:23:16There's a presenting job going over at Radio Zenith
0:23:16 > 0:23:17and I've been thinking...
0:23:17 > 0:23:20- You've got to take it.- What?
0:23:20 > 0:23:23- No arguing, it's for the best. - But... That's amazing, Ivan.
0:23:23 > 0:23:25- An actual job?- Mm.- At Radio Zenith?
0:23:25 > 0:23:28- Mm.- They're massive.- Mm.
0:23:29 > 0:23:31Thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
0:23:32 > 0:23:35Yeah, the bunny's in me tummy.
0:23:35 > 0:23:38Yeah, I do feel bad about forcing Shaz to sell out to
0:23:38 > 0:23:40commercial radio, but in this business,
0:23:40 > 0:23:43you've sometimes just got to think of yourself, haven't you?
0:23:43 > 0:23:46This new digital studio thing isn't working either.
0:23:46 > 0:23:50Digital is a passing fad. It's like CDs.
0:23:50 > 0:23:53They were supposed to be the big new thing, weren't they?
0:23:53 > 0:23:55But they kept getting scratched and that's why I'm using
0:23:55 > 0:23:57cassettes still.
0:23:57 > 0:24:00C90s - you get more on 'em.
0:24:03 > 0:24:05Hi! Ivan Brackenbury here.
0:24:05 > 0:24:08Great to have you listening, whatever you're doing today.
0:24:08 > 0:24:11I've got my old desk back from the skip.
0:24:11 > 0:24:14You know, people put some yucky things in hospital skips.
0:24:14 > 0:24:16You'd be absolutely surprised,
0:24:16 > 0:24:19but I'm going to be all right as long as I breathe through my mouth.
0:24:19 > 0:24:21Ooh, nope.
0:24:21 > 0:24:24Now it's time for the answer to What Am I?
0:24:24 > 0:24:26JINGLE: What am I?
0:24:26 > 0:24:29Big shout to Shaz for preparing her last ever one of those.
0:24:29 > 0:24:33"You'll find me at the top of a Christmas tree.
0:24:33 > 0:24:35"You'll see me out at night.
0:24:35 > 0:24:39"I am held together by my own gravity.
0:24:39 > 0:24:41- "What am I?"- What am I?
0:24:41 > 0:24:43Well, no-one got it. Oh!
0:24:43 > 0:24:46I am a star! Brilliant.
0:24:46 > 0:24:51Thanks again to Shaz for her very last one of those.
0:24:51 > 0:24:52OK.
0:24:52 > 0:24:56Remember, we've got the very first play of the Brimlington Hospital
0:24:56 > 0:24:58choir single coming up.
0:24:58 > 0:25:02But before that, here's some proper music from a radio legend,
0:25:02 > 0:25:05Mr Terry Wogan and The Floral Dance.
0:25:05 > 0:25:09# I thought I could hear the curious tone
0:25:09 > 0:25:12# Of the cornet, clarinet and big trombone
0:25:12 > 0:25:15# Fiddle, cello, big bass drum
0:25:15 > 0:25:17# Bassoon, flute and euphonium
0:25:17 > 0:25:20# Each one making the most of his chance
0:25:20 > 0:25:21# All together in the Floral Dance... #
0:25:21 > 0:25:24Hello, Mr D Montford, we've been looking for you.
0:25:24 > 0:25:26Yes. I sensed that.
0:25:26 > 0:25:29So, it seems that a lot of the information you provided us
0:25:29 > 0:25:31- has checked out.- Brilliant.
0:25:31 > 0:25:33So you've come to give me a new case?
0:25:33 > 0:25:37Well, we were going to ask you to accompany us to the station, Ian.
0:25:37 > 0:25:41Great. I will need my own office so I can practise my practice.
0:25:41 > 0:25:44No, what we're saying is your leads implicate you with possible
0:25:44 > 0:25:45involvement in the crimes.
0:25:47 > 0:25:51Officers, I think I know what might have happened here.
0:25:51 > 0:25:54A malicious spirit has fed me information that's quite
0:25:54 > 0:25:57general and vague and can be interpreted in different ways.
0:25:57 > 0:26:00Ian DEAN Montford...
0:26:00 > 0:26:03- One minute...- You're under arrest. - No, listen, think about it.
0:26:03 > 0:26:05It's not me...
0:26:05 > 0:26:09It's the malicious spirit I was telling you about. Honestly...
0:26:09 > 0:26:11Right, here it is. Hot off the press.
0:26:11 > 0:26:14The brand-new single from the Brimlington Hospital choir.
0:26:14 > 0:26:16Here we go.
0:26:16 > 0:26:18- JINGLE:- 1969!
0:26:18 > 0:26:22Oh, bear with me, I'm still getting used to the old desk being back.
0:26:22 > 0:26:25One second. Is that it?
0:26:25 > 0:26:27# Oh
0:26:29 > 0:26:31# Oh
0:26:33 > 0:26:35# Oh
0:26:37 > 0:26:39# Oh
0:26:39 > 0:26:43- # I try to discover - Oh oh
0:26:43 > 0:26:47# A little something to make me sweeter
0:26:47 > 0:26:48# Oh oh
0:26:48 > 0:26:51# Oh, baby, refrain
0:26:51 > 0:26:54# From breaking my heart
0:26:54 > 0:26:59# I'm so in love with you
0:26:59 > 0:27:03# I'll be forever blue
0:27:03 > 0:27:06# That you gimme no reason
0:27:06 > 0:27:08# Why you make-a-me work so hard
0:27:08 > 0:27:10# That you gimme no
0:27:10 > 0:27:12# That you gimme no That you gimme no
0:27:12 > 0:27:13# That you gimme no
0:27:13 > 0:27:19# Soul, I hear you calling
0:27:19 > 0:27:23# Oh, baby, please
0:27:23 > 0:27:24# Give a little respect... #
0:27:24 > 0:27:26You've got to let me go. There's been a terrible mistake.
0:27:26 > 0:27:28I've got important healing work to do.
0:27:28 > 0:27:31# ..to me... #
0:27:31 > 0:27:33GUITAR FLOURISH
0:27:36 > 0:27:40# And if I should falter
0:27:40 > 0:27:44# Would you open your arms out to me?
0:27:44 > 0:27:47# We can make love not war
0:27:47 > 0:27:52# And live in peace in our hearts
0:27:52 > 0:27:56# I'm so in love with you
0:27:56 > 0:28:00# I'll be forever blue
0:28:00 > 0:28:05# What religion or reason could drive a man to forsake his lover? #
0:28:05 > 0:28:06Sunny!
0:28:06 > 0:28:08# Don't you tell me no
0:28:08 > 0:28:10- # No, don't you tell me no... # - Come down here!
0:28:10 > 0:28:18# Ohhhhhhhh!
0:28:18 > 0:28:19# Don't you tell me no
0:28:19 > 0:28:21# Don't you tell me no Don't you tell me no
0:28:21 > 0:28:23# Don't you tell me no
0:28:23 > 0:28:29# Soul, I hear you calling
0:28:29 > 0:28:31# Oh, baby, please
0:28:31 > 0:28:35# Give a little respect
0:28:35 > 0:28:41# Give a little respect to me
0:28:41 > 0:28:44# Oh, baby, please
0:28:44 > 0:28:51# Give a little respect to me!
0:28:55 > 0:29:00# Soul, I hear you calling
0:29:00 > 0:29:04# Oh, baby, please
0:29:04 > 0:29:12# Give a little respect to me
0:29:12 > 0:29:14# Oh, baby, please
0:29:14 > 0:29:20# Give a little respect to me. #