Episode 4

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0:00:01 > 0:00:03- She's moved out.- That's fantastic. - Sorry?- That's terrible.

0:00:03 > 0:00:06- How often do you get Tamzin flowers? - These aren't for Tamzin.

0:00:06 > 0:00:08They're for...someone else.

0:00:08 > 0:00:10- You remember Murray? - Your ex-husband.

0:00:10 > 0:00:13- Still husband.- I can't believe there's not a gentleman

0:00:13 > 0:00:14who won't improve on that

0:00:14 > 0:00:17- for a night out with the charming Bex Wilkie.- £3,000.

0:00:17 > 0:00:19AUDIENCE GASPS

0:00:38 > 0:00:40There you are! What kept you?

0:00:40 > 0:00:42I've just been knocked off my bike.

0:00:42 > 0:00:43Oh, my God. Are you all right?

0:00:43 > 0:00:46Yeah, I'm fine. Some crap-trumpet in a convertible

0:00:46 > 0:00:50clipped me on the Patcham crossroads. They didn't even stop.

0:00:50 > 0:00:53- Did you jump the lights again? - You never take my side, do you?

0:00:53 > 0:00:55Grant, I keep telling you - don't jump the lights.

0:00:55 > 0:00:56It's just like at school.

0:00:56 > 0:00:59You let me get beaten up by that gang behind the gym block.

0:00:59 > 0:01:01- They were three girls, Grant. - They were vicious.

0:01:01 > 0:01:03- Look, can I have the ring? - Yeah, yeah, yeah.

0:01:03 > 0:01:06What's all this ring business about, anyway?

0:01:06 > 0:01:07Having dinner with Bex tonight.

0:01:07 > 0:01:10Recreating the night I proposed. Same restaurant,

0:01:10 > 0:01:13same table, same violinist that serenaded us.

0:01:13 > 0:01:15I am going to re-propose, you know,

0:01:15 > 0:01:17- like we're starting all over again.- Re-propose?

0:01:17 > 0:01:20But you're already married. Wouldn't that be bigamy?

0:01:20 > 0:01:22No, you're missing the point.

0:01:22 > 0:01:25- You've lost the ring!- It must've fallen out when I got knocked over.

0:01:25 > 0:01:27Grant! This is a big night for me!

0:01:27 > 0:01:28It's not my fault!

0:01:28 > 0:01:30All right! All right!

0:01:30 > 0:01:33I'll go back to the Patcham crossroads.

0:01:33 > 0:01:35Hurry up!

0:01:35 > 0:01:37She'll be here in 20 minutes.

0:01:40 > 0:01:42HE GRUNTS

0:01:56 > 0:01:57How was the job interview?

0:01:57 > 0:01:59Oh...terrible.

0:01:59 > 0:02:03I was interviewed by a woman called Sam and a man called Alex,

0:02:03 > 0:02:05and I kept calling them by the wrong names.

0:02:05 > 0:02:08- Alex has a moustache. - Yes, well, so has Sam.

0:02:08 > 0:02:10Bex, you are in a period of transition.

0:02:10 > 0:02:13I felt exactly the same after Clifford.

0:02:13 > 0:02:16Yeah, but everything feels like I'm taking one step forward

0:02:16 > 0:02:18and then a frying pan gets slapped in my face.

0:02:18 > 0:02:22You see, with Clifford, I imposed a Clifford exclusion zone.

0:02:22 > 0:02:25You've got to do the same with Murray... Are you going out?

0:02:25 > 0:02:28Yeah. I'm having dinner. With Murray.

0:02:28 > 0:02:29What?! But you can't.

0:02:29 > 0:02:31Murray is a gangrenous limb.

0:02:31 > 0:02:34He needs to be severed so you can live.

0:02:34 > 0:02:36Abby, he's making a really big effort.

0:02:36 > 0:02:39Do you want me to phone? Pretend there's been an accident at Gatwick?

0:02:39 > 0:02:42We need every available nurse, and all that?

0:02:42 > 0:02:44Abby, really, it's just dinner, OK?

0:02:44 > 0:02:45I'll see you later.

0:02:45 > 0:02:47Don't let the fungus spread!

0:02:47 > 0:02:50ROMANTIC GUITAR MUSIC PLAYS

0:02:59 > 0:03:02Table for two, er, name of Booth.

0:03:02 > 0:03:05Yes. You phoned earlier about my uncle Enzo.

0:03:05 > 0:03:08Yes, yes. The violinist, yeah.

0:03:08 > 0:03:11He was, er, playing here for us when I proposed.

0:03:11 > 0:03:1212 years ago.

0:03:12 > 0:03:15He's coming in especially tonight.

0:03:15 > 0:03:17- Let me take you to your table. - Right.

0:03:19 > 0:03:20Sorry, er...

0:03:20 > 0:03:23Sorry, I did ask for the table in the corner,

0:03:23 > 0:03:25the...the one that I proposed at.

0:03:25 > 0:03:28Sorry, I didn't get that message. It's taken.

0:03:28 > 0:03:29We've allocated you this one here.

0:03:29 > 0:03:31It's not ideal.

0:03:31 > 0:03:34I...I wanted to re-propose to my wife at the original table.

0:03:34 > 0:03:36Re-propose?

0:03:36 > 0:03:39Yeah, it's a gesture of, you know, renewed recommitment.

0:03:39 > 0:03:41It's not unduly complicated.

0:03:41 > 0:03:43- < Murray? - Hmm?

0:03:43 > 0:03:45Julian Wolverton.

0:03:45 > 0:03:48We met at a CT scanner appeal thing.

0:03:48 > 0:03:49HIGH-PITCHED: Oh, yes.

0:03:49 > 0:03:51I won the auction to have a date with Bex.

0:03:51 > 0:03:55- So you did.- We had a terrific night. She's quite a woman.

0:03:55 > 0:03:57Yes. Yes. Yes, she is.

0:03:57 > 0:04:00No, really, she's something else. Anyway, it's good to see you.

0:04:00 > 0:04:03- Is it? Yes, er...thank you. - I love this place.

0:04:03 > 0:04:06I don't really like cooking, so I tend to eat out most nights.

0:04:06 > 0:04:10- We've been coming here for years, so...- How's Bex?- She's fine. Yes.

0:04:10 > 0:04:12- Sh-Sh-She's not coming.- What?

0:04:12 > 0:04:14She's not here.

0:04:14 > 0:04:16Oh? Oh, so you're dining alone?

0:04:16 > 0:04:17Yeah, yeah, not with Bex.

0:04:17 > 0:04:19Well, not with anyone.

0:04:19 > 0:04:20Feel free to join me.

0:04:20 > 0:04:22- What?- Keep me company.

0:04:23 > 0:04:26- No, no, don't want to bother you. - Come on, I insist. Have a seat.

0:04:26 > 0:04:30Can we get another gin and tonic over here, please?

0:04:30 > 0:04:32- No, no, I really ought to... - Have a scallop. Here.

0:04:34 > 0:04:36It's all right. You won't catch anything.

0:04:38 > 0:04:39Hmm?

0:04:39 > 0:04:41Mmm. Lovely, lovely.

0:04:41 > 0:04:42Yeah, very good.

0:04:42 > 0:04:44How about some of that sauce?

0:04:53 > 0:04:55Mmm...

0:04:55 > 0:04:56Hmm?

0:04:56 > 0:04:59- Mmm!- Ooh, by the way, do you have Bex's number?

0:04:59 > 0:05:01MUFFLED: I'm sorry?

0:05:01 > 0:05:03I lost my phone sailing,

0:05:03 > 0:05:05and I was thinking of giving her a call.

0:05:05 > 0:05:08Julian, would you excuse me for a moment? I just...

0:05:08 > 0:05:11I just need to warn the maitre d about something.

0:05:14 > 0:05:17- Have you decided on which table? - Neither of them.- I'm sorry?

0:05:17 > 0:05:20There's been a change of plan. We're going to have to go.

0:05:20 > 0:05:21But Enzo's coming in.

0:05:21 > 0:05:23He's on the bus from Lewes.

0:05:23 > 0:05:26OK. Well, you know, I'll be happy to pay his fare and, er...

0:05:26 > 0:05:30Here, look, taxi home. But I definitely can't stay here.

0:05:30 > 0:05:31Murray!

0:05:31 > 0:05:33Hi.

0:05:33 > 0:05:35Hello.

0:05:38 > 0:05:40Hi!

0:05:40 > 0:05:41HE CHUCKLES

0:05:45 > 0:05:46Oh!

0:05:46 > 0:05:47- You are here.- Yes.

0:05:47 > 0:05:49Sorry, confused.

0:05:49 > 0:05:50Wow.

0:05:50 > 0:05:52Wow! You... You look terrific.

0:05:52 > 0:05:56Thank you. You look... You look pretty good yourself.

0:05:57 > 0:05:58- Sorry.- Sorry.

0:05:58 > 0:06:00Bex...

0:06:01 > 0:06:05- ..I'm not really sure about this place. I think we should go.- What?

0:06:05 > 0:06:07- I know someone who got food poisoning here.- Really?

0:06:07 > 0:06:09Yeah, suspect hygiene standards,

0:06:09 > 0:06:11if you ask me. Have you been to the gents?

0:06:11 > 0:06:14No, you wouldn't have, but they say "judge a kitchen by its toilets",

0:06:14 > 0:06:17- and you wouldn't want to eat off those urinals.- No, I wouldn't.

0:06:17 > 0:06:20I...I really think we should go elsewhere.

0:06:20 > 0:06:24Murray, it's just had a great review in the Argos.

0:06:24 > 0:06:25Yes, but did they look at the toilets?

0:06:25 > 0:06:27Anyway, you proposed here,

0:06:27 > 0:06:31- and I've got really fond memories of this place.- Yeah.

0:06:31 > 0:06:32Yeah, me too.

0:06:32 > 0:06:34Come on, sit down.

0:06:34 > 0:06:36I've...I've ordered a bottle of Chablis.

0:06:36 > 0:06:38And you, um... Yeah.

0:06:38 > 0:06:41You might want to take off my coat.

0:06:41 > 0:06:43Maybe?

0:06:44 > 0:06:46SOFTLY: Sorry.

0:06:50 > 0:06:52Yeah, Chablis.

0:06:52 > 0:06:53Lovely.

0:06:53 > 0:06:57Remember that bottle of Chablis we had in... Oh, where was it?

0:06:57 > 0:06:58Chablis(?)

0:06:58 > 0:07:00Yes, yes, it was, wasn't it?

0:07:00 > 0:07:02Beautiful, that day, wasn't it?

0:07:02 > 0:07:05Or was it raining? Er... Light drizzle? I really can't remember.

0:07:05 > 0:07:06Murray, are you OK?

0:07:06 > 0:07:08HE MUTTERS

0:07:08 > 0:07:09Vino bianco.

0:07:09 > 0:07:11Your gin and tonic.

0:07:11 > 0:07:13Oh, no, no, that's not for me. No.

0:07:13 > 0:07:15MURRAY LAUGHS

0:07:15 > 0:07:16OK.

0:07:16 > 0:07:19I feel a bit nervous, for some reason.

0:07:19 > 0:07:22- It really feels like a first date. - Ooh! Are you on your first date?

0:07:22 > 0:07:25- No, no.- No, we're married.

0:07:25 > 0:07:28Aw. That is so sweet, to treat every night out

0:07:28 > 0:07:30as a first date, eh?

0:07:30 > 0:07:31Is that the secret of your success?

0:07:31 > 0:07:34- Something like that, yeah. - I'll be back to take your order.

0:07:34 > 0:07:36Sorry, if we are staying,

0:07:36 > 0:07:39I just... I...I just need to deal with something.

0:07:39 > 0:07:40Er...

0:07:42 > 0:07:44- Here's your mail, by the way. - Thanks.

0:07:46 > 0:07:49Ah! There you are. I ordered you some scallops.

0:07:49 > 0:07:52Um...I asked for a gin and tonic for my friend?

0:07:52 > 0:07:55J-J-Julian, I'm actually with Bex at the moment, so...

0:07:55 > 0:07:58- Oh, I thought you were separated. - Yeah, we are.- Oh, right,

0:07:58 > 0:08:02because I don't want to put anyone's nose out of joint but it's just that

0:08:02 > 0:08:04- I had a great night with Bex. - So you said. Yes, yes.

0:08:04 > 0:08:07I don't know if it's appropriate to ask for a second date

0:08:07 > 0:08:09- when your relationship's still unresolved.- Probably not.

0:08:09 > 0:08:11PHONE VIBRATES

0:08:11 > 0:08:14Sorry, I'm going to have to get this. It's another charity event.

0:08:14 > 0:08:17Gavin, how are you? (Order some wine.)

0:08:17 > 0:08:19- Julian, I really need to... - You are ready to order?

0:08:19 > 0:08:21Yes, but not here. Sorry...

0:08:23 > 0:08:25Darren?

0:08:25 > 0:08:26What?

0:08:26 > 0:08:30Lovematch UK? You are better looking than your photo.

0:08:32 > 0:08:34- Sorry?- Alice. Teacher.

0:08:34 > 0:08:3630. Lied a little bit but...

0:08:36 > 0:08:40Likes swimming and horses. Not together, obviously.

0:08:40 > 0:08:42I don't like swimming with horses.

0:08:42 > 0:08:45I'm sorry, I think you're looking for someone else. Not me. Sorry.

0:08:45 > 0:08:46- I...- Yeah...

0:08:50 > 0:08:53Bex, bit of an awkward situation here.

0:08:53 > 0:08:54- Er...- Oh, God.

0:08:54 > 0:08:56- What?- More points.

0:08:56 > 0:08:59Murray, I've been done for speeding again.

0:08:59 > 0:09:02You know those road signs with the numbers? They're sort of clues(!)

0:09:02 > 0:09:05Oh, God! That takes me up to 12. I'm looking at a year's ban.

0:09:05 > 0:09:07- Have you decided?- Oh, no.

0:09:07 > 0:09:10My wife's just had some bad news, so we might not be staying.

0:09:10 > 0:09:14I'm starving. I'll have the oysters

0:09:14 > 0:09:17- followed by sea bass. - Very good choice.

0:09:17 > 0:09:20- Oysters? I didn't know you liked oysters.- No, I like them now.

0:09:20 > 0:09:23And you, sir? The scallops are very nice.

0:09:23 > 0:09:25Er...yes, I know.

0:09:25 > 0:09:26Um...

0:09:26 > 0:09:28He'll have the scallops...

0:09:29 > 0:09:30..followed by the pork belly.

0:09:30 > 0:09:33- Yeah. She's right, as always. - Sweet.

0:09:33 > 0:09:36Oh, the maitre d said to mention Enzo is here.

0:09:36 > 0:09:39Enzo? Oh, Christ! Yeah, yeah.

0:09:39 > 0:09:42- Who's Enzo?- Oh, no, don't worry. - Is he an out-of-work chauffeur?

0:09:42 > 0:09:46- Perhaps he'd like to drive me round while I'm banned.- Bex, I mean...

0:09:46 > 0:09:48I...I could give you a lift to work.

0:09:48 > 0:09:51- Sorry?- I could... I could drive you to work.

0:09:51 > 0:09:54Might have to give me a push, though. It's playing up a bit.

0:09:54 > 0:09:57- You still don't want to get rid of that car, do you?- I love that car.

0:09:57 > 0:09:59We had our first kiss in that car.

0:09:59 > 0:10:02Yeah, but if it's not working you just let it go.

0:10:02 > 0:10:04No, no. It's precious to me, you know,

0:10:04 > 0:10:07like our marriage.

0:10:07 > 0:10:11Might be spluttering but I'm going to do everything I can to fix it.

0:10:11 > 0:10:14I thought we had our first kiss at Laura's party.

0:10:14 > 0:10:16No, no, no, no. It was in the car. It was at, um,

0:10:16 > 0:10:20- Laura's party that we had our first...- Oh, yes.

0:10:20 > 0:10:22In the airing cupboard.

0:10:22 > 0:10:24Whatever did happen to Laura?

0:10:24 > 0:10:27I don't know. Well, we never got invited back, so...

0:10:27 > 0:10:30Thank you. That's very good. Pour another glass, will you? >

0:10:30 > 0:10:31She'll be here in a minute.

0:10:31 > 0:10:33Curtis. Curtis!

0:10:33 > 0:10:35Hi.

0:10:35 > 0:10:36Hi.

0:10:36 > 0:10:38What are you two doing here?

0:10:38 > 0:10:40We're having a meal together.

0:10:40 > 0:10:43- Yeah. How's Tamzin?- Oh, she's fine. Yes. Thank you for asking.

0:10:43 > 0:10:46- PHONE RINGS - Is she joining you?- Um...

0:10:47 > 0:10:49Stay where you are.

0:10:49 > 0:10:51No, don't come in.

0:10:51 > 0:10:53No, I'll find you.

0:10:53 > 0:10:57My, er, chiropractor wants to have a look at my back now.

0:10:57 > 0:11:00I told him it's not really appropriate in a restaurant.

0:11:00 > 0:11:02I mean, there's no room for his mats.

0:11:02 > 0:11:05Actually, change of plan.

0:11:05 > 0:11:08I've got to go. Could I have the bill for the Champagne?

0:11:09 > 0:11:12I'm at completely the wrong restaurant.

0:11:12 > 0:11:15I'm meant to be at the Taj Mahal.

0:11:15 > 0:11:17It was only when I looked at the menu

0:11:17 > 0:11:19and realised there was no lamb bhuna.

0:11:19 > 0:11:22- Anyway...um... - CHAMPAGNE SPLASHES

0:11:22 > 0:11:24Have a good evening!

0:11:24 > 0:11:25Bye.

0:11:27 > 0:11:31- What was all that? - Oh, you know, he's seeing someone.

0:11:31 > 0:11:33- Ah...- Not his wife.

0:11:34 > 0:11:37Oh, no. Poor Tamzin. That's terrible.

0:11:37 > 0:11:38Yeah.

0:11:38 > 0:11:41I suppose some men are like that, aren't they, you know,

0:11:41 > 0:11:44whereas others find the woman they love

0:11:44 > 0:11:47and stick with them through thick and thin.

0:11:47 > 0:11:49Yes, they do.

0:11:49 > 0:11:51Unfortunately, for poor old Tamzin,

0:11:51 > 0:11:55she didn't find someone loyal and steadfast.

0:11:58 > 0:11:59I'm talking about me.

0:11:59 > 0:12:01I know.

0:12:01 > 0:12:02OK.

0:12:02 > 0:12:07- Excuse me, are you sure you're not Darren?- Yes!- Darren?

0:12:07 > 0:12:10My date. Lovematch UK. We're with the same agencies.

0:12:10 > 0:12:12- Have you joined a dating agency? - No!

0:12:12 > 0:12:15- Just tell me if you don't fancy me.- What?!

0:12:15 > 0:12:18I had this last week with Stefan - IT consultant, likes windsurfing.

0:12:18 > 0:12:20Well, I'm not Darren or Stefan.

0:12:20 > 0:12:24He walked in, took one look at me and walked straight back out again!

0:12:24 > 0:12:25Nice place, this, isn't it?

0:12:25 > 0:12:27Are you with Lovematch UK too?

0:12:27 > 0:12:29No, I'm his wife.

0:12:29 > 0:12:31You did not say you were married on your profile.

0:12:31 > 0:12:33Please... Sorry, what's your name?

0:12:33 > 0:12:35Alice. You know that. You e-mailed me last night.

0:12:35 > 0:12:38- Alice, I'm not the man you're looking for.- They all say that.

0:12:38 > 0:12:40Is now a good time for Enzo to serenade you?

0:12:40 > 0:12:41Ooh...er...

0:12:41 > 0:12:42Er...no.

0:12:42 > 0:12:45Since I haven't got the ring yet. Er...later.

0:12:45 > 0:12:46When I go down on one knee, yeah?

0:12:46 > 0:12:50And I've had Chef prepare a special celebration dessert for you.

0:12:50 > 0:12:52- Oh, thank you. Thank you. - You'd like to see it?

0:12:52 > 0:12:53Yes, yes.

0:12:53 > 0:12:55Yes, of course.

0:12:56 > 0:12:59Ah, there you are. Your scallops are getting cold.

0:12:59 > 0:13:02- I've ordered you a T-bone too. - Julian, I don't want a T-bone.

0:13:02 > 0:13:05- Fine, have something else. - No, I've got to get back to Bex.

0:13:05 > 0:13:07- She's waiting for me. - Ah, she's moved back in with you.

0:13:07 > 0:13:09No, no, no. She's still with Abby, but...

0:13:09 > 0:13:12- Abby?- A girlfriend. Someone from work.

0:13:12 > 0:13:14- Oh.- Hopefully it's just a phase.

0:13:16 > 0:13:20Sorry, I...I thought when you said "girlfriend" you meant...

0:13:20 > 0:13:21you know...

0:13:23 > 0:13:25Yeah.

0:13:25 > 0:13:27Yeah, well, er, yes, she is.

0:13:27 > 0:13:29Yeah, um...

0:13:29 > 0:13:32- Abby is Bex's girlfriend.- Really?

0:13:32 > 0:13:35I was going to ask her out, but...

0:13:35 > 0:13:39- Wasting your time...- No, sure. - Just not interested in men.

0:13:39 > 0:13:41- I thought we had some chemistry. - No.

0:13:41 > 0:13:44I'm the only man who's ever really done it for her, you know.

0:13:44 > 0:13:47I turned her for a while,

0:13:47 > 0:13:51but these days even I... I can't keep her from the ladies.

0:13:51 > 0:13:53- PHONE VIBRATES - Oh, sorry.

0:13:53 > 0:13:55No, no, go ahead. Take it.

0:13:55 > 0:13:57Actually, Julian, sorry...

0:13:57 > 0:13:58I need to...

0:14:02 > 0:14:05Grant, where the hell are you? I need that ring!

0:14:05 > 0:14:07I show you the special celebration dessert?

0:14:07 > 0:14:09Oh, yes, of course. Yeah.

0:14:09 > 0:14:10HE CHUCKLES

0:14:10 > 0:14:11Murray?

0:14:19 > 0:14:21So you've joined a dating agency?

0:14:21 > 0:14:24- No, no. I've no idea who that woman is.- You keep running off.

0:14:24 > 0:14:28Oh, a bit of a situation with the maitre d.

0:14:28 > 0:14:30Wants some advice about, um, pensions.

0:14:30 > 0:14:34- Can't believe these speeding points. - I suppose, you know...

0:14:34 > 0:14:36I-I could take them for you.

0:14:36 > 0:14:38How do you mean?

0:14:38 > 0:14:41Well, you know, we could say I was driving your car.

0:14:41 > 0:14:43You'd do that for me?

0:14:43 > 0:14:45But it's illegal, Murray.

0:14:45 > 0:14:47You know, if it gets you out of a hole.

0:14:47 > 0:14:49Be our little secret.

0:14:49 > 0:14:51That's really sweet

0:14:51 > 0:14:54but you don't look anything like me.

0:14:55 > 0:14:57The hair.

0:14:57 > 0:14:59Say I dyed it.

0:14:59 > 0:15:01- The dress.- OK, that's trickier.

0:15:01 > 0:15:02- It's not going to work. - No, no, come on.

0:15:02 > 0:15:07Come on, we can do this. Um...I was wearing a leotard

0:15:07 > 0:15:09because I'd...

0:15:09 > 0:15:11Yeah, I'd been... I'd been to wrestling practice.

0:15:11 > 0:15:13HE LAUGHS

0:15:13 > 0:15:15I was rushing home to, er...

0:15:15 > 0:15:18- Watch the wrestling.- Yeah, exactly.

0:15:18 > 0:15:21Didn't bother changing out of my leotard

0:15:21 > 0:15:23so, instead, rushed home at...62mph?!

0:15:23 > 0:15:25Murray, those speed cameras are rigged.

0:15:27 > 0:15:31- OK. Go on. I won't say anything if you don't.- Thank you.

0:15:31 > 0:15:32I'm really touched.

0:15:32 > 0:15:34I am.

0:15:35 > 0:15:38Um, look, er, Bex,

0:15:38 > 0:15:40I...I was actually waiting for Grant to...

0:15:40 > 0:15:42Doesn't matter.

0:15:42 > 0:15:43It was...

0:15:43 > 0:15:45almost 12 years ago today

0:15:45 > 0:15:49that we were sat...

0:15:50 > 0:15:52..near this very table,

0:15:52 > 0:15:56and I looked into your beautiful eyes...

0:15:56 > 0:15:59- VIOLIN MUSIC PLAYS ..and said...- Julian?- What?

0:15:59 > 0:16:00Bex?

0:16:00 > 0:16:02HE MOUTHS

0:16:02 > 0:16:04- MUSIC STOPS - You're eating over here?

0:16:04 > 0:16:07- Yeah, I'm having pork belly. - You're with Bex?

0:16:07 > 0:16:08Well, she is my wife.

0:16:08 > 0:16:10What... Are you all right, Julian?

0:16:10 > 0:16:12Yes, yes. Sorry, er...

0:16:12 > 0:16:16Just a bit, um... Ah, it doesn't matter.

0:16:16 > 0:16:18Really enjoyed our meal the other night.

0:16:18 > 0:16:20- The oysters were out of this world. - Oysters?

0:16:20 > 0:16:23- Yeah. Bex had never had them before. - Oh, really?

0:16:23 > 0:16:26I was going to call you, see if you fancied it again,

0:16:26 > 0:16:30but Murray tells me that, um, well... I know your situation now,

0:16:30 > 0:16:31so, each to his own.

0:16:32 > 0:16:35- I'll see you around.- Yeah, OK.

0:16:37 > 0:16:39Thank you.

0:16:40 > 0:16:42Each to his own?

0:16:42 > 0:16:43What did Julian mean?

0:16:43 > 0:16:45No idea.

0:16:48 > 0:16:50VIOLIN MUSIC PLAYS Look, Bex, um, as I was saying,

0:16:50 > 0:16:52it was 12 years ago...

0:16:52 > 0:16:54- Sorry, I've just got to...- Bex!

0:16:55 > 0:16:57MUSIC STOPS

0:16:57 > 0:16:58Oh!

0:17:00 > 0:17:04- Murray! Yeah, sorry, mate. Little favour.- Oh?

0:17:04 > 0:17:06I've been waiting for a minicab

0:17:06 > 0:17:08and it won't be here for another 20 minutes.

0:17:08 > 0:17:10I've got to get to the other side of town,

0:17:10 > 0:17:12so my little window of opportunity is rather closing.

0:17:12 > 0:17:15I'm not driving you. I'm having dinner with my wife.

0:17:15 > 0:17:18No, I'm not suggesting that. I just need to borrow your car.

0:17:18 > 0:17:21I've just got to get to the Roadlodge and then...well, you know.

0:17:21 > 0:17:23- Curtis, no.- I'll be an hour tops,

0:17:23 > 0:17:2540 minutes, probably.

0:17:25 > 0:17:28Yeah. Ten minutes there and, well, you know,

0:17:28 > 0:17:31and then ten minutes back. Could be as little as half an hour.

0:17:32 > 0:17:34CURTIS SIGHS

0:17:34 > 0:17:36Thanks, mate.

0:17:36 > 0:17:38HE SIGHS

0:17:44 > 0:17:48Julian must've got his wires crossed cos he'd got it into his head

0:17:48 > 0:17:51that Abby was my girlfriend, or something!

0:17:51 > 0:17:53No! Really?

0:17:53 > 0:17:54Anyway, it's all cleared up now,

0:17:54 > 0:17:57- because he's going to take me to the Admiral Club.- What?

0:17:57 > 0:18:00Well, he said there's going to be loads of potential donors

0:18:00 > 0:18:01for the CT scanner appeal.

0:18:01 > 0:18:03Bex, I didn't think we were at that place yet.

0:18:03 > 0:18:06Eating oysters and going to Admiral clubs.

0:18:06 > 0:18:09It's not like I'm going on a date with him.

0:18:09 > 0:18:11PHONE VIBRATES Yes?

0:18:11 > 0:18:13Oh, hi, it's Emma.

0:18:13 > 0:18:14Oh, hi... Hi, there.

0:18:14 > 0:18:16Sorry to call out of office hours

0:18:16 > 0:18:20but, um, my boiler's broken down and I haven't got any hot water.

0:18:20 > 0:18:23Oh, no. I'm sorry to hear that.

0:18:23 > 0:18:26So, what I was thinking was,

0:18:26 > 0:18:29maybe I could come round and have a bath at your place.

0:18:29 > 0:18:31SHE MOUTHS

0:18:31 > 0:18:32Yeah, yeah, fine.

0:18:32 > 0:18:34So, is that OK, then? If I come over?

0:18:34 > 0:18:37Oh, no, er...sorry. The thing is, I'm actually out having dinner

0:18:37 > 0:18:41with my wife at the moment, so...

0:18:41 > 0:18:42But you're still separated?

0:18:42 > 0:18:44Yeah, we are.

0:18:44 > 0:18:46Oh, OK, well, maybe I could let myself in.

0:18:46 > 0:18:49I know you keep a spare key in the hanging basket.

0:18:49 > 0:18:52Oh... Oh, y-y-you know that, do you?

0:18:52 > 0:18:54Actually, there's another problem,

0:18:54 > 0:18:58which is, I've got a bit of a hot water shortage myself.

0:18:58 > 0:19:01I see. Well, is there enough for a shower?

0:19:01 > 0:19:04Er...not even enough for a shower, really.

0:19:04 > 0:19:06Really is quite an acute hot water shortage.

0:19:06 > 0:19:09- My plumber's baffled.- Maybe my plumber could have a look at it.

0:19:09 > 0:19:11He could, although, as I say,

0:19:11 > 0:19:14tonight's not really terribly convenient.

0:19:14 > 0:19:16Actually, my food's going to be arriving shortly,

0:19:16 > 0:19:19so I...I better go, but, yeah,

0:19:19 > 0:19:23well, I'm sorry I'm not able to help you on this occasion,

0:19:23 > 0:19:25but thank you for your interest.

0:19:25 > 0:19:27Bye.

0:19:27 > 0:19:28But, er...

0:19:31 > 0:19:33- Who was that?- No, no-one.

0:19:34 > 0:19:36Well, it was obviously someone.

0:19:36 > 0:19:38Um...someone from the office, actually.

0:19:38 > 0:19:41She wanted to come round for a bath, so...

0:19:42 > 0:19:45- She?- Not with me. No, her boiler's broken.

0:19:45 > 0:19:47Who is she?

0:19:47 > 0:19:49Um...

0:19:49 > 0:19:50Colleague.

0:19:51 > 0:19:53Does she have a name?

0:19:53 > 0:19:55Emma.

0:19:55 > 0:19:57Emma? Yeah. I know Emma, don't I?

0:19:57 > 0:19:59How old is she?

0:19:59 > 0:20:01- What's that got to do with it? - I'm just asking.

0:20:01 > 0:20:04- I just want to picture her. - I don't know. Um...

0:20:04 > 0:20:0630s, I think. Late 30s, probably.

0:20:06 > 0:20:10So, this 30-year-old wants to come round and have a bath?

0:20:10 > 0:20:11I said no.

0:20:11 > 0:20:12You heard.

0:20:12 > 0:20:14Where are we going with this?

0:20:14 > 0:20:16Hang on, I've met her. She's about 25.

0:20:16 > 0:20:18- She's 27.- So she's not 30, then?

0:20:18 > 0:20:21She's three years younger than 30. What's the difference?

0:20:21 > 0:20:24- I'm not bothered, but you seem to be.- I'm not!

0:20:24 > 0:20:28Look, can we just forget about Emma and Julian

0:20:28 > 0:20:30and, you know, enjoy our evening?

0:20:30 > 0:20:32Yep.

0:20:32 > 0:20:33Sure.

0:20:33 > 0:20:36Where were we?

0:20:38 > 0:20:40HE MUTTERS

0:20:40 > 0:20:42Just one moment, sweetie.

0:20:44 > 0:20:47- I found it in the drain where I got knocked off.- Well done, Grant!

0:20:47 > 0:20:51Yeah, a bit of luck, really. Yeah. It was perched on a ledge.

0:20:51 > 0:20:52You're just in time. Thanks.

0:20:52 > 0:20:54- Can I...- It's a nice place.

0:20:54 > 0:20:57Well, I would ask you to join us but, you know...

0:20:57 > 0:20:59Nah. Well, you go ahead.

0:20:59 > 0:21:01I'll go and clean myself up.

0:21:03 > 0:21:04Mr Booth...

0:21:04 > 0:21:07you want to see the special celebration dessert, or not?

0:21:07 > 0:21:10Later. Later. Enzo! Get Enzo.

0:21:13 > 0:21:16Bex, I... This is a little bit unconventional...

0:21:16 > 0:21:18Oh, my God.

0:21:18 > 0:21:22- Everything OK?- Yeah, I think so. I've just been offered a job.

0:21:22 > 0:21:25- What? - I thought I'd totally blown it.

0:21:25 > 0:21:26There was this guy called Alex

0:21:26 > 0:21:28and this woman called Sam...

0:21:28 > 0:21:30or was it the other way round?

0:21:30 > 0:21:33- Bex, that's fantastic. What's the job?- Senior health visitor.

0:21:33 > 0:21:35Senior...health visitor.

0:21:35 > 0:21:37Wow.

0:21:37 > 0:21:39Let's order some Champagne.

0:21:39 > 0:21:40HE CHUCKLES

0:21:40 > 0:21:42Congratulations, Bex.

0:21:42 > 0:21:43Well done!

0:21:43 > 0:21:45- I'm so proud of you.- Aw...

0:21:45 > 0:21:47Oh...

0:21:47 > 0:21:48Oh...

0:21:48 > 0:21:50BOTH LAUGH

0:21:50 > 0:21:52Shame you can't get a new job every day!

0:21:52 > 0:21:54BOTH LAUGH

0:21:54 > 0:21:56The thing is, Murray, there is a slight complication

0:21:56 > 0:21:58I need to tell you about.

0:21:58 > 0:21:59Um...

0:21:59 > 0:22:02Yeah. Cos the job they found me,

0:22:02 > 0:22:05it's, um, in Birmingham.

0:22:06 > 0:22:08- B-B-Birmingham?- Mm-hm.

0:22:08 > 0:22:12Only for six months. It's just covering someone's maternity.

0:22:12 > 0:22:14Six months is a long time, Bex.

0:22:14 > 0:22:17I mean, think of all the people you'll be leaving behind, you know.

0:22:17 > 0:22:19Your family, your friends, your husband.

0:22:22 > 0:22:24- Your family.- The downside is,

0:22:24 > 0:22:27- there would be a hell of a lot of driving.- Exactly. Yeah.

0:22:27 > 0:22:30Who wants to be stuck in a car all day?

0:22:32 > 0:22:33Hang on.

0:22:35 > 0:22:38That's why you wanted me to take your speeding points, isn't it?

0:22:38 > 0:22:41- What?- If you're banned, you can't take this job.

0:22:41 > 0:22:45That's why you came here. That's what all of this has been about.

0:22:45 > 0:22:48- Don't be ridiculous. - Yeah. Get me to take your points,

0:22:48 > 0:22:50and when that's all sewn up for you,

0:22:50 > 0:22:52you...you announce you've got a driving job!

0:22:52 > 0:22:54It's not a driving job.

0:22:54 > 0:22:56- Well, I'm not taking them. - I didn't even know I had the job

0:22:56 > 0:22:58when we were talking about the points.

0:22:58 > 0:22:59If you think I'm breaking the law

0:22:59 > 0:23:02so that you can walk out of our marriage

0:23:02 > 0:23:04and toddle off to Birmingham

0:23:04 > 0:23:06with Julian plying you with oysters...

0:23:06 > 0:23:08VIOLIN MUSIC PLAYS

0:23:11 > 0:23:14Not now, Enzo.

0:23:14 > 0:23:15Um...

0:23:15 > 0:23:17Very good!

0:23:19 > 0:23:22Splendid. I wonder if you might come back...

0:23:24 > 0:23:25HE MOUTHS

0:23:25 > 0:23:26MUSIC STOPS

0:23:28 > 0:23:30One sea bass

0:23:30 > 0:23:32and your pork belly.

0:23:34 > 0:23:36- Enjoy!- Thanks.

0:23:36 > 0:23:38I hope, when I'm your age,

0:23:38 > 0:23:41me and my husband will be having nights together like this.

0:23:51 > 0:23:54- How's the sea bass?- Fine.

0:23:54 > 0:23:56How's your pork belly?

0:23:56 > 0:23:57Nice.

0:24:01 > 0:24:03Come here.

0:24:05 > 0:24:08- What?- The bloke that knocked me off my bike, he's in the toilets.

0:24:08 > 0:24:10- Oh, don't be daft.- No, it's him.

0:24:10 > 0:24:13- I got a good look at him.- I haven't got time for this, Grant.

0:24:13 > 0:24:15Once again, you don't take my side.

0:24:15 > 0:24:18It is like school and those girls all over again.

0:24:18 > 0:24:22Grant, I am trying to re-propose to my wife.

0:24:26 > 0:24:28DOOR BANGS

0:24:28 > 0:24:29GROANING

0:24:29 > 0:24:31Grant? SCUFFLING

0:24:31 > 0:24:33- Get him off me!- What's going on?

0:24:33 > 0:24:36GROANING AND CLATTERING

0:24:36 > 0:24:38Murray, help! Agh...

0:24:50 > 0:24:51Get him off me!

0:24:52 > 0:24:54DULL THUD

0:25:02 > 0:25:04Murray...

0:25:07 > 0:25:09Oh, my God. What have you done?

0:25:09 > 0:25:12- He was attacking Grant. - Someone call for an ambulance.

0:25:12 > 0:25:13You hit him with that?

0:25:13 > 0:25:16G-G-Grant thought it was the bloke that knocked him off his bike.

0:25:16 > 0:25:20- Isn't that right, Grant?- Yeah. I confronted him but he denied it

0:25:20 > 0:25:23so I had some words, and then he pushed me away,

0:25:23 > 0:25:25so I pushed him away, and then he got very cross.

0:25:25 > 0:25:29There's no pulse, so I'm going to have to give him CPR.

0:25:29 > 0:25:31I-I-Is that really necessary?

0:25:31 > 0:25:34Watch what I do, cos we're going to have to alternate.

0:25:36 > 0:25:38Is he going to be OK? I mean...

0:25:38 > 0:25:42Sorry, is there no-one else first-aid trained?

0:25:42 > 0:25:45Y-Y-You really ought to have someone else on the staff trained.

0:25:45 > 0:25:49You can't rely on an A&E nurse dining out here every night...

0:25:49 > 0:25:52- Murray, your turn. - I'm not really qualified.

0:25:52 > 0:25:55- Just get on with it.- Is he really that critical?- Yes, he is.

0:25:56 > 0:26:00Now, put your lips to his and blow.

0:26:01 > 0:26:02Go on, Murray.

0:26:03 > 0:26:05HE INHALES DEEPLY

0:26:08 > 0:26:10Phuft!

0:26:10 > 0:26:11HE PANTS

0:26:12 > 0:26:14Actually, I'm not sure it's him.

0:26:14 > 0:26:16BREATHLESSLY: What?

0:26:17 > 0:26:20Yeah, let's try and keep it steady, guys.

0:26:21 > 0:26:23Yeah.

0:26:23 > 0:26:24Definitely not him.

0:26:24 > 0:26:27The bloke that knocked me over had ginger hair.

0:26:27 > 0:26:29POLICE RADIO CHATTER

0:26:29 > 0:26:31I'm sorry for the disruption to your meal.

0:26:31 > 0:26:33I'm so sorry.

0:26:33 > 0:26:35Buon appetito!

0:26:37 > 0:26:40- There you are! Sorry again. - That WAS quick.- No.

0:26:40 > 0:26:43Can you give me a hand starting the car? I've been trying for ages

0:26:43 > 0:26:46- and I can't get it to go. - Your special celebration dessert.

0:26:46 > 0:26:48- Not really sure... ANGRILY:- Take it!

0:26:48 > 0:26:50Yes. Thank you.

0:26:50 > 0:26:51Bex...

0:26:51 > 0:26:54- Dessert, Bex?- No. Sorry, I've got a really early start tomorrow so...

0:26:54 > 0:26:58- Bex, don't go. - No, don't go. We need your help.

0:27:00 > 0:27:03BOTH STRAIN

0:27:06 > 0:27:07Why are we doing this?

0:27:07 > 0:27:09HE PANTS

0:27:09 > 0:27:11We can get this going again. Come on!

0:27:11 > 0:27:13HE STRAINS

0:27:13 > 0:27:15ENGINE STUTTERS

0:27:15 > 0:27:18- Come on, we can do this. - No, we're wasting our time.

0:27:18 > 0:27:20Please, don't give up now. Come on!

0:27:22 > 0:27:24Are you Darren?

0:27:26 > 0:27:27Yes.

0:27:29 > 0:27:30Hmm.

0:27:30 > 0:27:31Come on, Bex, one last try.

0:27:31 > 0:27:33CLUNK

0:27:33 > 0:27:35ENGINE REVS

0:27:35 > 0:27:36Yes!

0:27:36 > 0:27:38HE PANTS

0:27:38 > 0:27:40CAR HORN TOOTS

0:27:40 > 0:27:42HE GASPS

0:27:42 > 0:27:46Look, it's, er, not been the evening I planned.

0:27:46 > 0:27:48I was hoping to, er, recreate

0:27:48 > 0:27:53the, you know, last time, 12 years ago, but, er..

0:27:54 > 0:27:56Will you marry me?

0:27:56 > 0:27:58What?

0:27:58 > 0:27:59I'm proposing to you.

0:27:59 > 0:28:01But we're already married.

0:28:01 > 0:28:03I know. I'm re-proposing.

0:28:03 > 0:28:05It's a new concept. I sort of invented it.

0:28:05 > 0:28:07Re-proposing?

0:28:07 > 0:28:09I, er...

0:28:09 > 0:28:11I've got you another ring.

0:28:11 > 0:28:14So, what, then I'd have two rings?

0:28:14 > 0:28:17Why does everyone get so bogged down in the detail? Look,

0:28:17 > 0:28:20just imagine I'm proposing to you for the first time.

0:28:21 > 0:28:22Oh, Murray...

0:28:22 > 0:28:24What do you say?

0:28:30 > 0:28:33A few of us are going for a drink tonight. Why don't you join us?

0:28:33 > 0:28:36- Grant!- What? - You do realise what you've done?

0:28:36 > 0:28:40- Where is he?- Are you having an affair with my wife?