0:00:02 > 0:00:04This programme contains strong language
0:00:04 > 0:00:06Shit. No wine.
0:00:08 > 0:00:10- Brrrr.- OK. Go again.
0:00:12 > 0:00:13LAUGHTER
0:00:13 > 0:00:16Steve.
0:00:16 > 0:00:18Steve. Ooh!
0:00:19 > 0:00:22Argh! Ouch!
0:00:22 > 0:00:24Oh!
0:00:24 > 0:00:26- Oh... - SHE BLOWS A RASPBERRY
0:00:27 > 0:00:29- Grow up!- Oh!
0:00:33 > 0:00:35SHE LAUGHS
0:00:35 > 0:00:36Why are you laughing?
0:00:42 > 0:00:43You bastard!
0:00:56 > 0:00:58We've been filming Ideal. It's in the...
0:00:58 > 0:01:01We've just hit the sixth series, haven't we?
0:01:01 > 0:01:03So, it's six years by my reckoning.
0:01:03 > 0:01:07It's gone very, very quickly, and that's probably a good thing.
0:01:07 > 0:01:13I think one reason why there's so many outtakes from Ideal is, it's such a big cast.
0:01:13 > 0:01:14In total, it's probably about 40 people.
0:01:14 > 0:01:17So I think just exponentially, there's going to be more corpsing,
0:01:17 > 0:01:22there's going to be more stupidity, there's going to be more people screwing up.
0:01:22 > 0:01:24SHE SCREAMS
0:01:31 > 0:01:33HE LAUGHS MANICALLY
0:01:36 > 0:01:38It's a big daft playground, really.
0:01:38 > 0:01:41Sorry. I farted at the start and it put me off.
0:01:41 > 0:01:43LAUGHTER
0:01:47 > 0:01:49How do?
0:01:51 > 0:01:53Ah, fuck. Sorry.
0:01:53 > 0:01:55LAUGHTER
0:01:55 > 0:01:57Sorry.
0:01:57 > 0:01:58Because this...
0:01:58 > 0:02:00Give it to me, you fucker!
0:02:00 > 0:02:02SHE LAUGHS
0:02:02 > 0:02:04LAUGHTER
0:02:07 > 0:02:11It could be a bright new life and a new start, a new...
0:02:11 > 0:02:13This scene's gone to fucking rack and ruin.
0:02:16 > 0:02:17You?
0:02:17 > 0:02:20- Hetero? Really?- You bet ya.
0:02:22 > 0:02:23You?
0:02:23 > 0:02:26- Hetero? Really?- You bet ya.
0:02:26 > 0:02:28I'll get it this time.
0:02:30 > 0:02:32You? Hetero? Really?
0:02:32 > 0:02:35- You bet ya.- Cut.
0:02:40 > 0:02:45We probably smoke more in Ideal than just about any other programme going, I would think now.
0:02:45 > 0:02:48Do you know how to scare folk?
0:02:51 > 0:02:55- Nobody noticed. - Just going to spark up.
0:03:02 > 0:03:06Fucking burning face!
0:03:06 > 0:03:10The stuff that we use to smoke in bongs and joints is really, really horrible.
0:03:10 > 0:03:15That attracted me to the show more than the script.
0:03:15 > 0:03:17In your positions, please.
0:03:17 > 0:03:23- Oh, f...!- I think it's like coal's foot, red clover, er, rose petals.
0:03:23 > 0:03:26I mean, you might as well be smoking a bonfire. It's really noxious.
0:03:26 > 0:03:27And who's in it?
0:03:29 > 0:03:31Who's in what?
0:03:34 > 0:03:37SHE LAUGHS
0:03:37 > 0:03:39- Sorry.- It's great when you can see they've took it in
0:03:39 > 0:03:44and it's that burning sensation and they've got a line coming up. You know, it's almost,
0:03:44 > 0:03:47like, coming out their ears and everything.
0:03:47 > 0:03:50- Oh! Fucking...- Ha-ha! Sorry!
0:03:54 > 0:03:57LAUGHTER
0:03:57 > 0:04:01There are points when Ben Crompton looks like a warehouse on fire.
0:04:03 > 0:04:04It really is like...
0:04:04 > 0:04:07HE CHOKES
0:04:09 > 0:04:10That's mint.
0:04:10 > 0:04:13LAUGHTER
0:04:13 > 0:04:14Hiya, Jenny.
0:04:16 > 0:04:20I don't know what's in the coke, the substitute coke,
0:04:20 > 0:04:23but it just feels like you're snorting a load of talcum powder.
0:04:23 > 0:04:25It's lovely and freshening for your nose.
0:04:25 > 0:04:28- It's baking soda, isn't it or something?- Is it?
0:04:28 > 0:04:30Yeah. I always get these bubbles.
0:04:34 > 0:04:36THEY LAUGH
0:04:36 > 0:04:40- That was a fucking lot! - OK. And again. Thinner line.
0:04:42 > 0:04:44I do.
0:04:44 > 0:04:46I go home and I'm, sort of...
0:04:46 > 0:04:50All my movements look like a badly done cake...for days after.
0:04:55 > 0:04:56No.
0:04:58 > 0:05:00LAUGHTER
0:05:03 > 0:05:08I've just been down the offices and I'm their... Oh...
0:05:09 > 0:05:14Valets. Silicone Valets, but it's...
0:05:14 > 0:05:16- Shit! What is my line there? - It's valets with a T.
0:05:16 > 0:05:20- I've said it so many times that I've forgotten it. - He wants to say vagina.
0:05:20 > 0:05:25We've come to tidy our things out of your bathroom and to prepare your loft for...
0:05:25 > 0:05:28I've got juice for break time.
0:05:28 > 0:05:30And you, just let me finish my fucking line.
0:05:30 > 0:05:32LAUGHTER
0:05:32 > 0:05:34Is it gangland fight or gangland battle?
0:05:34 > 0:05:37- Ganglang attack.- Ganglang!
0:05:37 > 0:05:39Who'd take a chair to a ganglang attack?
0:05:39 > 0:05:42A fucking ganglang... Sorry.
0:05:42 > 0:05:45There have been a couple of points where I've thought,
0:05:45 > 0:05:48"That probably isn't the right chemistry for a scene."
0:05:48 > 0:05:51That combination of people with that much at stake. We were talking earlier...
0:05:51 > 0:05:52And that much dialogue.
0:05:52 > 0:05:55That's what he's dancing around.
0:05:55 > 0:05:58With me, he's going, "Right. let's keep it to five...
0:05:58 > 0:06:02"five word bursts, and then give him something to do in between.
0:06:02 > 0:06:05"Or something to look at that he can write the rest of the script on."
0:06:06 > 0:06:10- Why is it some days, all folk you... - HE MUTTERS
0:06:10 > 0:06:12Why is it...?
0:06:12 > 0:06:14If I ever catch myself trying to act, it's dreadful.
0:06:14 > 0:06:16Nobody gets in...
0:06:17 > 0:06:20There's a lovely point when you're just in a scene
0:06:20 > 0:06:24and it's just flowing, and then again, it's just a horrendous thing
0:06:24 > 0:06:26that you've gone one way... and your speech...
0:06:26 > 0:06:28has just, you know, said goodbye.
0:06:28 > 0:06:31Even a life clo, clo, clouch would struggle to tell you.
0:06:31 > 0:06:32Put it away, fella.
0:06:32 > 0:06:36That was Scottish that time. I don't know what that was.
0:06:36 > 0:06:41Place names is another one that you give me these... You know I can't... To this day, I can't...
0:06:41 > 0:06:44- Can't say Todmorden.- Todma... No.
0:06:44 > 0:06:48Well, I suggested driving out and dumping them on Tomod...
0:06:48 > 0:06:49Fucking twat!
0:06:49 > 0:06:52I suggested driving out and dumping them on Tomod...
0:06:52 > 0:06:54FUCK!
0:06:54 > 0:06:56TWAT!
0:06:56 > 0:06:57Osbaldeston.
0:06:57 > 0:06:59Piss off.
0:06:59 > 0:07:03She's seeing a bloke from Osbaldston, the fucking bastard.
0:07:03 > 0:07:07Osbald... She's seeing a bloke from Osbald... Oh, fucking hell!
0:07:07 > 0:07:09I can't say that twatting WORD!
0:07:09 > 0:07:12She's seeing this bloke from Towin... No, no. Hang on.
0:07:13 > 0:07:19You don't need a priest... for an nexonism.
0:07:19 > 0:07:22You need a spelling teacher. Sorry.
0:07:22 > 0:07:27You can see him sat there doing that kind of, "I sat and crafted...
0:07:27 > 0:07:31"sweated blood and tears over this and who do we give it to?
0:07:31 > 0:07:37"An idiot. A big rotund memory-less fool...in the corner."
0:07:37 > 0:07:40That's quite perceptive.
0:07:40 > 0:07:43- Are you busy?- Me? I'm always busy.
0:07:45 > 0:07:49- Learning lines, doing stuff. - Time is money, right?
0:07:49 > 0:07:51It's like Hancock after the car crash.
0:07:52 > 0:07:54Come on, Nicki.
0:07:58 > 0:08:00# I can't live... # Sorry.
0:08:00 > 0:08:03- LAUGHTER - # If living is... #
0:08:10 > 0:08:13- Hobnobs, two for one. - Ooh, packet each.
0:08:13 > 0:08:15Nicely, nicely.
0:08:15 > 0:08:18- What am I doing taking them off you? - I don't know!
0:08:18 > 0:08:20HE LAUGHS
0:08:20 > 0:08:24You know, before a scene, they're actually loathed to give me props.
0:08:24 > 0:08:25They simply think, "He'll break them.
0:08:25 > 0:08:28"Break them in the first scene."
0:08:28 > 0:08:31And then make sure they've got no back-ups.
0:08:31 > 0:08:34Little bastards! I'll give them what for!
0:08:37 > 0:08:39LAUGHTER
0:08:39 > 0:08:42A possessed egg box that you can't throw away.
0:08:42 > 0:08:43Fucking bastards!
0:08:43 > 0:08:45I'll give them what for!
0:08:46 > 0:08:48LAUGHTER
0:09:10 > 0:09:13LAUGHTER
0:09:17 > 0:09:19Shooting. And...
0:09:21 > 0:09:23Sorry.
0:09:24 > 0:09:26We'd all have the afternoon off.
0:09:26 > 0:09:30I've just stabbed myself with the handcuffs. I'm sorry. Hang on.
0:09:30 > 0:09:31If I found the bullet...
0:09:33 > 0:09:36Ray had been dead about nine month.
0:09:36 > 0:09:41- In fact, some- BLEEP- keeps dropping fucking things behind my head.
0:09:41 > 0:09:43- Cut.- I'm upset as it is.
0:09:43 > 0:09:45SLEAZY DANCE MUSIC
0:09:52 > 0:09:54Who's this then?
0:09:55 > 0:09:58- Oh, fucking hell!- We'll never know.
0:09:58 > 0:10:01I curse that scene. I've still got it in my wardrobe, that.
0:10:01 > 0:10:03It's still hanging there.
0:10:03 > 0:10:05You'll see it on eBay one day.
0:10:05 > 0:10:10Amongst the hungry, needy and, er, profoundly deaf.
0:10:12 > 0:10:16The huge side of beef that we had in series three is probably one of
0:10:16 > 0:10:19the least convincing props we've had made. I don't know, it just...
0:10:19 > 0:10:23For me, when I watch that on screen, I think, "It doesn't look right.
0:10:23 > 0:10:25"It doesn't really look like meat."
0:10:25 > 0:10:28- But it caused trouble as soon as it arrived on set.- Nice bottom.
0:10:28 > 0:10:32Yeah, well, with your brain and my bottom, we've always got... Oh, shit!
0:10:32 > 0:10:38Fucking hell! I very much doubt that Rocky Balboa would have won had he practised on that piece of meat.
0:10:41 > 0:10:45It wasn't your standard foam. It was some industrial...
0:10:45 > 0:10:50- I don't know what it was.- ..strength machine that they brought in.
0:10:53 > 0:10:58- Cut. Cut. Um...- Sorry. - HE CHOKES AND COUGHS
0:11:00 > 0:11:05Ordinarily, you wouldn't get that reaction from just covering your head in Fairy Liquid, but I think
0:11:05 > 0:11:09they'd bought this off the back of a truck that had just left Chernobyl.
0:11:14 > 0:11:16You're on probation.
0:11:16 > 0:11:19I know. Listen to this. HE FARTS
0:11:19 > 0:11:22LAUGHTER
0:11:28 > 0:11:29I'm just embarrassed
0:11:29 > 0:11:33that I laughed so hard at a man farting.
0:11:33 > 0:11:37There's that healthy bit of competition, isn't there? Who can crack somebody else up.
0:11:37 > 0:11:40Yeah. And sometimes it's within the rules,
0:11:40 > 0:11:42i.e. within the script, and sometimes it isn't.
0:11:42 > 0:11:46- I'll fucking shoot this fucker! - Is that Pakistani?- I'm a fucking funny guy? You fucking mook.
0:11:46 > 0:11:50If there was a ringleader, it probably would be Ben Crompton.
0:11:50 > 0:11:53Dirty.
0:11:53 > 0:11:56Dirty! Dirty! I don't like bumming.
0:11:56 > 0:12:03Crompton is one of those... He'll thrown something in that's fantastically funny...but so crude.
0:12:03 > 0:12:05She's with that Enrique.
0:12:05 > 0:12:08The big...cockhead.
0:12:09 > 0:12:12I don't think the script
0:12:12 > 0:12:18included big fat cockhead, or whatever he came up with, but then the minute he did it...
0:12:18 > 0:12:20She was with that Enrique.
0:12:20 > 0:12:22The slimy cockhead!
0:12:26 > 0:12:29- Fucking bastard! - She's with that Enrique.
0:12:30 > 0:12:32You're laughing, I'm not.
0:12:32 > 0:12:38Or to give it it's real... Oh, fucking... You're a twat!
0:12:38 > 0:12:40It's not always the people you expect, and also,
0:12:40 > 0:12:44it's not always the scenes or the lines that you expect that make you laugh.
0:12:44 > 0:12:47Sometimes it's a line that, on paper, is just a bit of connective tissue.
0:12:47 > 0:12:51It's just a little line, no gag in there, and somehow it's the funniest thing in the world.
0:12:51 > 0:12:54Can you flog us some skunk weed?
0:12:54 > 0:12:56Keep your voice down!
0:12:56 > 0:12:59LAUGHTER
0:12:59 > 0:13:02I'm not dealing to anyone I don't know.
0:13:02 > 0:13:03I'm Craig.
0:13:03 > 0:13:05Can you sell us some skunk weed?
0:13:05 > 0:13:09One of the days, he was... he was doing stuff with his eyes.
0:13:09 > 0:13:13Even his silhouette was making me laugh. You know what's coming
0:13:13 > 0:13:16and the anticipation, so there was times I'd gone before I'd even opened the door.
0:13:16 > 0:13:18Can I come in?
0:13:18 > 0:13:21LAUGHTER
0:13:23 > 0:13:25Keep your voice down!
0:13:25 > 0:13:26No. I had a...
0:13:26 > 0:13:28LAUGHTER
0:13:32 > 0:13:34I've decided I'm not dealing...
0:13:34 > 0:13:36LAUGHTER
0:13:36 > 0:13:39- Keep going.- The worst bit is, he's turning round and going,
0:13:39 > 0:13:42"I don't know what's wrong", and he knew exactly what he was doing.
0:13:42 > 0:13:43He was...just being a git.
0:13:43 > 0:13:45Can you sell us some skunk weed?
0:13:47 > 0:13:50- LAUGHTER - I'll get it. I'm angry now.
0:13:50 > 0:13:53Keep your voice down!
0:13:53 > 0:13:57No. I had a... bad experience yesterday.
0:13:57 > 0:13:58LAUGHTER
0:13:58 > 0:14:00It's sod's law that you...
0:14:00 > 0:14:03you'll get the giggles, you'll start corpsing
0:14:03 > 0:14:06when we're pretty much up against it from day one, whenever we started.
0:14:06 > 0:14:09It almost feels like we are behind schedule before we even started
0:14:09 > 0:14:12cos there's so many actors, so little time.
0:14:12 > 0:14:14I'm, I'm, I'm... I was.
0:14:14 > 0:14:20Mick Miller, to me, has got the funniest face without doing anything.
0:14:20 > 0:14:22Just wondered if that prozzie...
0:14:22 > 0:14:25LAUGHTER
0:14:25 > 0:14:29Sorry. Don't look at me like that.
0:14:29 > 0:14:32I just wondered if that prozzie had had a change of heart?
0:14:32 > 0:14:35- I brought my money back. - SNIGGERING
0:14:36 > 0:14:39That wasn't fucking me, by the way!
0:14:39 > 0:14:40Sorry!
0:14:41 > 0:14:43I'm gay.
0:14:43 > 0:14:44I thought you played for Wigan.
0:14:51 > 0:14:53You look dead weird.
0:14:58 > 0:15:00Sorry!
0:15:02 > 0:15:06I tell you who's the easiest one to make corpse, is...
0:15:06 > 0:15:07- Ryan.- Yeah.- Yeah.
0:15:08 > 0:15:09Come on, lads...
0:15:12 > 0:15:13Let's go!
0:15:21 > 0:15:25He genuinely seems hard on himself when it happens, and that's the most fun,
0:15:25 > 0:15:30because not only is he not doing his job properly, but it's causing him some emotional turmoil.
0:15:33 > 0:15:34Sorry!
0:15:38 > 0:15:39What's in t'boxes?
0:15:39 > 0:15:41Porno!
0:15:41 > 0:15:451,000 DVDs. Three big boxes of filth.
0:15:45 > 0:15:46Shut it, bollock head!
0:15:47 > 0:15:51OK, reset from the top.
0:15:51 > 0:15:53We're not doing that sort of film.
0:15:53 > 0:15:56Yeah, we are. We're doing soft-core too.
0:15:56 > 0:15:59You know, for the pensioners.
0:15:59 > 0:16:00Fucking hell, sorry.
0:16:00 > 0:16:02There was the mellow side,
0:16:02 > 0:16:08the thoughtful side of Psycho Paul, doing soft-core for the pensioners,
0:16:08 > 0:16:11that I just couldn't get over.
0:16:11 > 0:16:14- We're not doing that sort of film. - Yeah, we are.
0:16:14 > 0:16:16We're doing soft-core too.
0:16:16 > 0:16:20You know, for the pensioners! Sorry.
0:16:20 > 0:16:22We're not doing that sort of film.
0:16:22 > 0:16:26Yeah, we are. We're doing soft...
0:16:26 > 0:16:28- Fucking hell!- Action.
0:16:30 > 0:16:31Right, and again.
0:16:31 > 0:16:34JOHNNY TAKES DEEP BREATHS
0:16:35 > 0:16:37Right, go on, I can do it!
0:16:37 > 0:16:39You know that kind of...
0:16:39 > 0:16:41HE WHEEZES
0:16:41 > 0:16:45That mild asthmatic attack - that's me having fun.
0:16:50 > 0:16:57The main set, outside Moz's front door, doesn't actually have a set of steps that goes down.
0:16:57 > 0:17:00- It's a flat surface. - Farewell, St Brian.
0:17:00 > 0:17:03Come on.
0:17:03 > 0:17:07So people, when they leave the flat, they have to act as if they're walking down the steps,
0:17:07 > 0:17:10and some people can do it, and some people can't.
0:17:14 > 0:17:19Mugs. So, hey, can I still be your best mate, then?
0:17:19 > 0:17:21You're one of my bestest mates.
0:17:21 > 0:17:24Has it all gone to shit behind us?
0:17:27 > 0:17:29- See ya.- Goodnight.
0:17:31 > 0:17:33Thanks for your Irish jigging!
0:17:33 > 0:17:36A lot of people believe that that part of the set, that hallway,
0:17:36 > 0:17:39is haunted by an actor who had a wooden leg.
0:17:41 > 0:17:42Oh, fuck!
0:17:44 > 0:17:46It's mainly me, but a lot of people trip there.
0:17:48 > 0:17:50Sorry! Sorry!
0:17:54 > 0:17:57You've not even moved out yet, he's got a train track here!
0:17:57 > 0:18:02It's funny watching yourself trip time after time. You think, "Could have been a dancer."
0:18:02 > 0:18:05Moz, where are you, you useless bastard?
0:18:06 > 0:18:09This is the... Fucking hell, the door's open!
0:18:11 > 0:18:13Sorry, I fell over there!
0:18:15 > 0:18:17All right, cut camera number two, please.
0:18:21 > 0:18:23LAUGHTER
0:18:26 > 0:18:28I'm down!
0:18:29 > 0:18:32I am cocking furious!
0:18:35 > 0:18:36I sense that!
0:18:37 > 0:18:38I can't get up!
0:18:42 > 0:18:43Are you all right, babe?!
0:18:49 > 0:18:51SQUEAKING
0:18:51 > 0:18:54It's the noise that my jacket made!
0:18:54 > 0:18:58Filming a sex scene is one of the least-sexy experiences, I think.
0:19:02 > 0:19:03Fuck off!
0:19:05 > 0:19:13I think you come away from it with great admiration for porn stars, how they can keep that romantic mood.
0:19:13 > 0:19:15PANTING AND GROANING
0:19:16 > 0:19:20- Your feet are too low. - Feet up the bed.
0:19:20 > 0:19:23I'll move her with my penis!
0:19:25 > 0:19:31It's borderline traumatic for me, because I really feel for the actress involved!
0:19:37 > 0:19:40Oh!
0:19:43 > 0:19:48If was the actress put in a room and told to kiss me, I would let my house go.
0:19:48 > 0:19:51I'd just go onto social benefits.
0:19:53 > 0:19:55Say something in Welsh!
0:19:55 > 0:19:57Go on!
0:19:57 > 0:19:59Just a castle!
0:19:59 > 0:20:06I almost feel the need to go to the other actors involved beforehand and apologise,
0:20:06 > 0:20:09make sure there was counselling set up for them afterwards,
0:20:09 > 0:20:11and just a safe room they can go to.
0:20:14 > 0:20:16I'm not really impressed with this.
0:20:19 > 0:20:21Jenny.
0:20:23 > 0:20:24Jenny, you're all right.
0:20:24 > 0:20:27No, not all right. I'm shocked.
0:20:27 > 0:20:31When you do that first kiss and you can sense how much they're struggling.
0:20:31 > 0:20:33Once the...
0:20:33 > 0:20:35That sounds wrong, doesn't it?!
0:20:38 > 0:20:39A little bit.
0:20:39 > 0:20:42There's been some mistake. It's not my birthday.
0:20:42 > 0:20:44Sorry! I didn't mean to punch you!
0:20:44 > 0:20:46It's all right!
0:20:46 > 0:20:51I actually like being physically manhandled on camera for laughs.
0:20:55 > 0:20:57That was great!
0:20:57 > 0:21:02You get somebody like Sinead who hits you when you don't need to, when it's absolutely unnecessary.
0:21:02 > 0:21:05I may be stupid, but I'm not an idiot.
0:21:10 > 0:21:14I don't need the first bit, I just want the end, so just skip to the end and stop doing the slapping!
0:21:14 > 0:21:16Seven... No, I'll take six.
0:21:16 > 0:21:20Put 'em back. They're not for sale.
0:21:23 > 0:21:25It felt like you were genuinely hurt!
0:21:25 > 0:21:27You've grown them on your windowsill.
0:21:28 > 0:21:30What's he mean...?
0:21:30 > 0:21:32I'm sorry! I caught you so hard!
0:21:32 > 0:21:34SNORING
0:21:38 > 0:21:40I have tried waking him up.
0:21:42 > 0:21:45It's like trying to wake a cushion!
0:21:47 > 0:21:49So what's the word on the street?
0:21:51 > 0:21:53Cut camera, please.
0:21:58 > 0:22:04Any guest star that's come on the show has left with a sense of superiority
0:22:04 > 0:22:06that we've gifted to them.
0:22:06 > 0:22:12- Our ineptness proves to be quite a nice ice-breaker. - It's charming, I think.
0:22:12 > 0:22:16I think they find it charming, the cottage industry that is Ideal.
0:22:16 > 0:22:18And this is Nathaniel.
0:22:18 > 0:22:20- In't he scrummy?- Hi...
0:22:23 > 0:22:24Sorry!
0:22:24 > 0:22:29My ineptitude is a sacrifice for other people's egos.
0:22:29 > 0:22:31I give and I give.
0:22:31 > 0:22:34I fail and I fail.
0:22:34 > 0:22:36But, I no longer.
0:22:36 > 0:22:38Do you like...
0:22:38 > 0:22:41- I fucked that up with my pacing! - Did you see me? I just...
0:22:41 > 0:22:49Janeane Garofalo, probably the most unprofessional set she's ever worked on.
0:22:50 > 0:22:52LAUGHTER
0:22:56 > 0:23:00Could I have been a fucking worse actor on that take? That was so awful.
0:23:00 > 0:23:02Mark E Smith as Jesus.
0:23:02 > 0:23:06Yeah, not the most obvious casting, but it paid off.
0:23:06 > 0:23:08I didn't mean to doubt you.
0:23:08 > 0:23:09Of course you did.
0:23:12 > 0:23:13Oh.
0:23:17 > 0:23:19You're right about that Moz, anyway.
0:23:19 > 0:23:22Xavier, can you pop to my Citroen Berlingo
0:23:22 > 0:23:26and get my box of organs?
0:23:26 > 0:23:28My Citroen Berlingo.
0:23:28 > 0:23:32Oh, come on! Sorry, I realise you can't cut in the middle of that, can you?
0:23:32 > 0:23:36- Graham Fellows, a hero of mine. - Yeah.
0:23:36 > 0:23:38- That was real quality.- Dr Persil.
0:23:38 > 0:23:42I believe that it's inside is the... Oh, bollocks!
0:23:44 > 0:23:47And this is Nathaniel.
0:23:47 > 0:23:49In't he scrummy?
0:23:49 > 0:23:50LAUGHTER
0:23:50 > 0:23:51And a bit startled!
0:23:51 > 0:23:56The Sean Lock one was the worst, or the best, depending on how you look at it.
0:23:56 > 0:24:00I said, "That'll be funny, Sean Lock there with big breasts, that'll be very funny."
0:24:00 > 0:24:05Too funny. The main thing is, now we can just get on with being a nice, normal family.
0:24:08 > 0:24:11That was completely my fault, sorry!
0:24:11 > 0:24:14So you've...
0:24:14 > 0:24:15Sorry.
0:24:17 > 0:24:19The important thing is, now we can just get on
0:24:19 > 0:24:22with being a nice, normal family!
0:24:22 > 0:24:24'We said, "It'll just take you half a day."'
0:24:24 > 0:24:27- That's right, cos he was going to the football.- Yeah.
0:24:27 > 0:24:30He had tickets for a match, and it was never going to happen.
0:24:30 > 0:24:35The main thing is, now we can just get on with being a nice...
0:24:37 > 0:24:39SEAN CLEARS HIS THROAT
0:24:43 > 0:24:46It was just like, "Have we got one with all the... Can we edit?"
0:24:46 > 0:24:50"Is there one where the man says the words?!"
0:24:50 > 0:24:52That's all you're looking for!
0:24:52 > 0:24:56The main thing is, now we can just get on with being a nice...
0:24:58 > 0:25:00His Cherobics.
0:25:00 > 0:25:03Ah, when he starts doing the Cherobics, yeah.
0:25:03 > 0:25:08It's a cardio-muscular workout using a full Cher costume and wig.
0:25:10 > 0:25:13The fat just...
0:25:14 > 0:25:20It's a high-impact, cardio-muscular workout in full Cher costume and wig.
0:25:20 > 0:25:25Is there some sort of gag I could wear once he stands up? Sorry.
0:25:27 > 0:25:29Come on. We'll do it. We can do it.
0:25:32 > 0:25:35Hey, we'd best shoot.
0:25:45 > 0:25:49- Oh, my God!- I think you should have booked two days for these scenes!
0:25:56 > 0:25:58He's gone all moral since he found Jesu.
0:26:04 > 0:26:05Too gay?
0:26:05 > 0:26:10I suppose my abiding feeling is thinking, we had a lot of fun,
0:26:10 > 0:26:14but if we hadn't, we could have probably done it in half the time.
0:26:14 > 0:26:18You know, we could have gone home to our families a lot sooner, probably.
0:26:18 > 0:26:21Don't tell them that!
0:26:21 > 0:26:22Agh!
0:26:23 > 0:26:24Argh!
0:26:25 > 0:26:26Sorry!
0:26:26 > 0:26:29Hang on, just one sec!
0:26:29 > 0:26:31HE SINGS A FANFARE
0:26:36 > 0:26:38- That's good without the laugh. - Sorry!
0:26:38 > 0:26:41It's like going back to the special school in the summer holidays.
0:26:41 > 0:26:43This is exactly the same.
0:26:43 > 0:26:49It's a summer school for washed-up actors and thespians and comics. I'm home.
0:26:49 > 0:26:52Are you sure that is all finished?
0:26:52 > 0:26:54- Yeah.- Aw!
0:26:54 > 0:26:58- You can lick out t'bowl if you... Lick out t'bowl! Is that right? - Yeah.- Oh, fucking hell!
0:27:04 > 0:27:06Ooh, it's them again! Fuck!
0:27:12 > 0:27:15It's very emotional, but you're not fucking hugging me with that!
0:27:15 > 0:27:19Everyone within the show are friends.
0:27:19 > 0:27:21It's not just a colleague thing.
0:27:22 > 0:27:27You shouldn't technically be able to have that much fun at work.
0:27:57 > 0:27:59Oh... Hang on.
0:27:59 > 0:28:00Can I start again?
0:28:21 > 0:28:24Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:28:24 > 0:28:27E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk