0:00:02 > 0:00:069,600, 9,700, 9,800, 9,900...
0:00:06 > 0:00:0810,000.
0:00:08 > 0:00:10It's all yours, kiddo.
0:00:10 > 0:00:12Just like that?
0:00:12 > 0:00:16Yeah, we did the robbery, but you did the looking out.
0:00:16 > 0:00:20So we're splitting it three ways, 50, 50...50.
0:00:20 > 0:00:22Are these notes definitely unmarked?
0:00:22 > 0:00:25No. They've got a picture of t'Queen on them.
0:00:25 > 0:00:28Now listen, we've got to play it cool on this one.
0:00:28 > 0:00:30No doing owt to draw attention to ourselves. All right?
0:00:32 > 0:00:34I'm going to buy myself a nice, big blue Merc.
0:00:34 > 0:00:37What are you two going to spend yours on?
0:00:37 > 0:00:40Do you know, I've always enjoyed goin' on benders.
0:00:40 > 0:00:45So I reckon I'm going to use the money to go on a king-sized bender.
0:00:45 > 0:00:48Well, obviously I can't compete with a game plan of such intricacy.
0:00:48 > 0:00:51I'm going to buy myself some sensible stuff.
0:00:51 > 0:00:54You know, a microwave that doesn't set fire to my food,
0:00:54 > 0:00:57a fridge freezer, some clothes.
0:00:57 > 0:01:00And a lump of black big enough for the brain of a bison.
0:01:00 > 0:01:03Do you know, I've put aside a £20 note
0:01:03 > 0:01:05just for lighting cigs with.
0:01:05 > 0:01:07Y'know, to look cool and impress people and that.
0:01:07 > 0:01:10- Oh, what a good idea. - No, it isn't!
0:01:10 > 0:01:12Have you become a complete mentaloid?
0:01:12 > 0:01:16Yeah. A minted mentaloid.
0:01:16 > 0:01:19When you're rich, it's called eccentric.
0:01:21 > 0:01:23Well, I'm impressed(!)
0:01:28 > 0:01:30Hurry up, come on.
0:01:33 > 0:01:36Yeah, cos we wouldn't want to be wasteful, would we(?)
0:01:58 > 0:02:01KEYPAD BEEPS
0:02:02 > 0:02:04RING TONE
0:02:04 > 0:02:06- 'What do you want?' - Listen, Jen,
0:02:06 > 0:02:09I really think we need to talk.
0:02:09 > 0:02:12'Well, maybe some of us don't wanna go all talky-talky.
0:02:12 > 0:02:14'What is your problem?'
0:02:14 > 0:02:17I'm upset with you because you slept with two other men!
0:02:17 > 0:02:21'And I'm upset with you cos you won't let me start lap dancing.'
0:02:21 > 0:02:24Well, clearly you've got the moral high ground(!)
0:02:26 > 0:02:28Look, Jen, I've got ten grand.
0:02:28 > 0:02:31You don't need to work down Sex-A-Rama.
0:02:31 > 0:02:33'Need is as need does.'
0:02:34 > 0:02:35What?!
0:02:35 > 0:02:38Jen, listen, this isn't the kind of conversation
0:02:38 > 0:02:40we can have down the phone.
0:02:40 > 0:02:43'OK, well, phone me back later, then. Bye.'
0:02:45 > 0:02:47KNOCKING
0:02:52 > 0:02:53Ah, Hale and Pace.
0:02:53 > 0:02:54Hi-hi.
0:02:54 > 0:02:56Moz, this is Blackball.
0:02:56 > 0:02:57Great to meet you, mate.
0:03:00 > 0:03:02Ah, ain't he scrummy?
0:03:16 > 0:03:17I'll give you a game of pool sometime.
0:03:17 > 0:03:20He don't know how to play pool.
0:03:21 > 0:03:22What, is it just snooker, is it?
0:03:22 > 0:03:24He don't know how to play snooker.
0:03:24 > 0:03:26What's in the case, then?
0:03:26 > 0:03:28A king-size Twiglet?
0:03:28 > 0:03:30It's his cue. Shall we show him your cue?
0:03:41 > 0:03:43Jesus!
0:03:43 > 0:03:45Is that a lead snooker cue?
0:03:45 > 0:03:48It's great, innit? That cue is his schtick.
0:03:48 > 0:03:52But what sort of person carries around lead sporting equipment?
0:03:52 > 0:03:54He's a henchman.
0:03:54 > 0:03:55Aren't you?
0:03:55 > 0:03:57I ain't saying.
0:03:57 > 0:03:59He is.
0:03:59 > 0:04:01Oh, right.
0:04:01 > 0:04:04So when you're out and about henchin',
0:04:04 > 0:04:05do you ever, like,
0:04:05 > 0:04:08you know, ever get asked to rub someone out?
0:04:08 > 0:04:11Or is rubbin' a separate skill to henchin'?
0:04:11 > 0:04:14- He's not your actual killer, are you? - I ain't saying.
0:04:14 > 0:04:18He's not. He just does threats and mild damage. Bits and bobs.
0:04:18 > 0:04:20I imagine you could do some extensive mild damage
0:04:20 > 0:04:22to people's bits and bobs with that.
0:04:22 > 0:04:23So where's Jenny?
0:04:23 > 0:04:25At her mam's.
0:04:25 > 0:04:29As in, "I'll be at me mam's till you sort yourself out"?
0:04:29 > 0:04:31Pretty much.
0:04:32 > 0:04:34Look, Brian...
0:04:34 > 0:04:38if I tell you something, do you promise you won't tell anybody else?
0:04:38 > 0:04:40HE CHUCKLES Yeah.
0:04:40 > 0:04:41And what about you?
0:04:41 > 0:04:43I ain't saying.
0:04:43 > 0:04:48Good. Well, as I think you've already guessed,
0:04:48 > 0:04:49the other night, Jenny ended up
0:04:49 > 0:04:52accidentally bedding down with t'sleeping police.
0:04:54 > 0:04:56Frankly, I don't know why she bothered.
0:04:56 > 0:05:00The word on the grapevine is he's a bit of a Jar Jar Binks in the bedroom.
0:05:00 > 0:05:04Whereas they call me - whah! - the Love Ninja.
0:05:04 > 0:05:09Anyway, we had a barney, she stropped off round her mam's,
0:05:09 > 0:05:10end of story.
0:05:11 > 0:05:15Until...I got mashed...
0:05:18 > 0:05:20..and slept wi' Nicki.
0:05:22 > 0:05:25God.
0:05:25 > 0:05:26This is great.
0:05:26 > 0:05:28It's a total disaster!
0:05:28 > 0:05:32Yeah, but it's one of them stories, you won't even have to exaggerate.
0:05:32 > 0:05:34Brian! You're not going to be telling folk!
0:05:35 > 0:05:38Honestly, our lips are stapled. Aren't they?
0:05:38 > 0:05:40I ain't saying.
0:05:59 > 0:06:02Oh, shit! Oh...!
0:06:07 > 0:06:08Oh...
0:06:16 > 0:06:18What? Phoof!
0:06:18 > 0:06:19KNOCKING
0:06:26 > 0:06:27Afternoon, lads.
0:06:27 > 0:06:29And what can I do for you?
0:06:29 > 0:06:32It's more a case of what we can do...to you.
0:06:32 > 0:06:35MUSIC "Positron" by La Momo
0:06:57 > 0:06:59RIP
0:07:03 > 0:07:06Oh, what have you done to me Chinook?
0:07:12 > 0:07:16Keith? Are you in the mood to watch Jeremy Kyle?
0:07:16 > 0:07:18KEITH MUMBLES
0:07:18 > 0:07:21Methink you doth protest too much.
0:07:26 > 0:07:27My liege.
0:07:28 > 0:07:29Ah, Rainbow.
0:07:29 > 0:07:30I've brought your prize.
0:07:30 > 0:07:32My prize?!
0:07:32 > 0:07:35You won the raffle. Well, you won 7th prize.
0:07:35 > 0:07:39A month's supply of popcorn and Crown Prince Bear.
0:07:39 > 0:07:42Yeah, well, I think he might just take us
0:07:42 > 0:07:44over the maximum occupancy level.
0:07:44 > 0:07:45Do you want him?
0:07:47 > 0:07:50I've already got two and I don't really like them.
0:07:50 > 0:07:53APPLAUSE ON TV
0:07:53 > 0:07:56- CRUNCH AND BUZZ - What did you do that for?
0:07:56 > 0:08:00I wanted to find out if it was incest or just high spirits.
0:08:00 > 0:08:02Jeremy Kyle is an emotional locust,
0:08:02 > 0:08:03who devours the misfortune of others!
0:08:03 > 0:08:06Well, it's a point of vie...
0:08:06 > 0:08:07You're not Keith!
0:08:09 > 0:08:11Help! Keith! Oh...
0:08:11 > 0:08:15Ssh. Keith cannot help you.
0:08:15 > 0:08:17Oh, please, don't tell me you've killed Keith.
0:08:17 > 0:08:19We were going to Morecambe on Sunday.
0:08:20 > 0:08:22He is quite safe,
0:08:22 > 0:08:26just a few feet away from you, bound and gagged.
0:08:26 > 0:08:29- But is he comfy? - There is nothing to worry about
0:08:29 > 0:08:31as long as you do exactly as you are told.
0:08:31 > 0:08:33You're not going to rape me, are you?
0:08:33 > 0:08:35Because that's just not my sort of thing.
0:08:35 > 0:08:38You're perfectly safe.
0:08:38 > 0:08:40Smashing.
0:08:43 > 0:08:47(I'm going for a slash. If she gets any more irritating, kill her.)
0:08:49 > 0:08:52I think you should go and confront Jenny
0:08:52 > 0:08:56and just completely spill your guts everywhere.
0:08:56 > 0:08:57With respect, Rainbow,
0:08:57 > 0:09:01I'm not sure if I should be taking relationship advice from you.
0:09:01 > 0:09:03Let's face it,
0:09:03 > 0:09:07some World War I battles were mellower than your love life.
0:09:07 > 0:09:13My new guy's very different - solid, dependable...sensitive.
0:09:13 > 0:09:15Do I know him?
0:09:15 > 0:09:17Psycho Paul?
0:09:20 > 0:09:21Psycho Paul?!
0:09:21 > 0:09:24(GIGGLES) I know!
0:09:25 > 0:09:28Do you? Do you really?
0:09:28 > 0:09:31Cos I know. I-I've seen him in action...
0:09:31 > 0:09:36human trafficking, pornography, kidnapping.
0:09:36 > 0:09:39I've seen him gouge a man's eyeball out with a spoon!
0:09:39 > 0:09:42Bad boys are so cute.
0:09:42 > 0:09:44He is not cute.
0:09:44 > 0:09:46You haven't seen his bum.
0:09:46 > 0:09:48I don't need to see a man's backside
0:09:48 > 0:09:50to know whether or not he's a threat to society.
0:09:50 > 0:09:55The thing is, he makes other men just seem so...
0:09:55 > 0:09:57normal?
0:09:57 > 0:09:58I noticed that.
0:10:00 > 0:10:02So what happened with Psycho Paul and Tania?
0:10:02 > 0:10:04Oh, he said they were just too different.
0:10:04 > 0:10:08Anyway, I don't really call him that name. I call him Double P.
0:10:08 > 0:10:11Double P?! You can't rebrand Psycho Paul!
0:10:11 > 0:10:13I can definitely change him.
0:10:13 > 0:10:15- No.- Definitely!
0:10:15 > 0:10:17He'll be like putty in my hands.
0:10:17 > 0:10:22Putty that's set. Tell me, have you tried changing men before?
0:10:22 > 0:10:27Talvin. When we first met, all he was into was nosebleed techno.
0:10:27 > 0:10:29Within two weeks...
0:10:29 > 0:10:32I had him listening to Joss Stone.
0:10:32 > 0:10:35- Wow. You take no prisoners. - Then Marvin,
0:10:35 > 0:10:39I managed to stop him playing football with his mates every Sunday.
0:10:39 > 0:10:41Yet you still fell out.
0:10:42 > 0:10:46We've actually ended up with more room than we had next door.
0:10:48 > 0:10:51So are you still on for the house-warming party?
0:10:51 > 0:10:54Definitely. I've been seeing those all over town.
0:10:54 > 0:10:57Yeah. Really pleased for her.
0:10:57 > 0:11:02We are thinking we need more space, Nicki.
0:11:02 > 0:11:04Yeah, cos we've got a bit of news.
0:11:04 > 0:11:07I'm pregnant, with very, very small, small baby.
0:11:07 > 0:11:12- Aw. Congratulations. - Thank you. Thank you, Nicki.
0:11:12 > 0:11:16Aw, congratulations. I know you'd been trying for a while.
0:11:16 > 0:11:19Yeah, but it turned out I had rubbish sperm.
0:11:19 > 0:11:20SHE GIGGLES
0:11:20 > 0:11:23Seriously. They all had bent tails.
0:11:24 > 0:11:28Did they? I'm sorry about that.
0:11:28 > 0:11:31So we use imported sperm cells.
0:11:31 > 0:11:35A donor? Really?
0:11:35 > 0:11:37Wow.
0:11:38 > 0:11:41So are you sure you're ready for parenthood
0:11:41 > 0:11:43in all of its stifling joy?
0:11:43 > 0:11:46To be mother is to be everything to someone.
0:11:46 > 0:11:48I reckon I'm ready for parenthood.
0:11:48 > 0:11:51After all, I've spent years raising prize vegetables.
0:11:51 > 0:11:52Still, you won't be able
0:11:52 > 0:11:55to get down the allotment so much now, though, eh?
0:11:55 > 0:11:57What? What d'you mean?
0:11:57 > 0:11:59Well, I'm just saying, you know, babies,
0:11:59 > 0:12:01they tend to soak up a lot of your spare time.
0:12:01 > 0:12:04You won't be able to get down the allotment as much.
0:12:04 > 0:12:06No, I will. I will, won't I?
0:12:06 > 0:12:10The future of allotment is uncertain.
0:12:10 > 0:12:14Well, I mean, you say uncertain, but we can't be sure.
0:12:14 > 0:12:16We have much to discuss.
0:12:19 > 0:12:22So, do you know who the donor was?
0:12:22 > 0:12:27Yes. We wanted to give best start in life to the baby,
0:12:27 > 0:12:31so we choose very carefully. He is good friend.
0:12:31 > 0:12:33More a friend of Kim and Miko, really.
0:12:33 > 0:12:37Funnily enough, this used to be his flat. Bloke called Fist.
0:12:39 > 0:12:40Fist?
0:12:44 > 0:12:47Well, good luck with Jenny.
0:12:48 > 0:12:50Hope you CAN sort it out.
0:12:50 > 0:12:52Good luck with Psycho Paul.
0:12:52 > 0:12:54And I hope he don't sort YOU out.
0:12:54 > 0:12:58Honestly, Paul's got hidden depths.
0:12:58 > 0:13:02Yeah, I think he buried some dead bodies there.
0:13:02 > 0:13:04The ones he couldn't sell.
0:13:04 > 0:13:06MOBILE RINGS
0:13:06 > 0:13:07See ya.
0:13:07 > 0:13:10RINGING CONTINUES
0:13:10 > 0:13:11Hello?
0:13:11 > 0:13:14'This is just a courtesy call to let you know
0:13:14 > 0:13:16'that the Low Triad have kidnapped your father.'
0:13:16 > 0:13:18You're not serious?!
0:13:18 > 0:13:21'We are holding him and his irritating girlfriend.'
0:13:21 > 0:13:23Yeah, she is prone to vex.
0:13:23 > 0:13:25But why have you kidnapped 'em?
0:13:25 > 0:13:27Is it for Children In Need?
0:13:27 > 0:13:29'He interfered with our meat.
0:13:29 > 0:13:31'That cannot be tolerated.
0:13:31 > 0:13:34'I presume you want to see your father alive again.'
0:13:36 > 0:13:38Yeah, probably.
0:13:38 > 0:13:40'Then you had better pay the ransom.'
0:13:40 > 0:13:43All right, as long as we're not talking silly money.
0:13:43 > 0:13:46'All you need is £30,000.'
0:13:46 > 0:13:4930,000?! I could buy myself a state-of-the-art dad for that!
0:13:49 > 0:13:52'I will call again with your instructions.'
0:13:52 > 0:13:54Look, where've you stashed them, you bastards?
0:13:54 > 0:13:57Somewhere you will never, ever find them.
0:14:00 > 0:14:02Now, we may be here for some time.
0:14:02 > 0:14:05So why don't we all just relax?
0:14:05 > 0:14:08Would it be all right if I phoned the police?
0:14:08 > 0:14:10Just to let them know what's going on?
0:14:13 > 0:14:15MOBILE RINGS
0:14:17 > 0:14:18Hi, love.
0:14:18 > 0:14:20'I thought you were going to call me back.'
0:14:20 > 0:14:23I was... Look, Jen, it...
0:14:24 > 0:14:26Me dad's been kidnapped.
0:14:26 > 0:14:29'Oh, there's always some excuse, isn't there?'
0:14:29 > 0:14:31I'm serious. It...
0:14:33 > 0:14:36KEYPAD BEEPS
0:14:36 > 0:14:37Come on.
0:14:38 > 0:14:40- 'Hiya...' - Jen, I love you and I...
0:14:40 > 0:14:42'..Your call is very important to me,
0:14:42 > 0:14:45'so ring me back some other time, or leave a mess after the tone.'
0:14:45 > 0:14:48Jen, it's me.
0:14:48 > 0:14:52- And it'll always be me because I... - BLEEPING
0:14:52 > 0:14:53Oh, for f...!
0:14:55 > 0:14:57Where's me bloody charger?
0:15:41 > 0:15:46You are so stupid that it makes you think you are clever.
0:15:46 > 0:15:48HE MUMBLES
0:15:49 > 0:15:51Wh- What have I done?!
0:15:51 > 0:15:54You stole two trucks of beef from Anderton Cold Storage.
0:15:54 > 0:15:56Keith, is this true?
0:15:56 > 0:15:57Course it isn't.
0:15:57 > 0:16:01Anderton warehouse is under the protection of the Low Triad.
0:16:02 > 0:16:04Well, what makes you think I did it?
0:16:04 > 0:16:07Your face was all over the security cameras.
0:16:07 > 0:16:10Cameras!
0:16:10 > 0:16:12HE TUTS Of course.
0:16:12 > 0:16:14That's how I got caught on me last two jobs.
0:16:15 > 0:16:17Oh, Keith,
0:16:17 > 0:16:20we just don't need that much beef.
0:16:30 > 0:16:35And...'ow much they asking?
0:16:35 > 0:16:3630 grand.
0:16:36 > 0:16:38Phew! That's a bit pricey.
0:16:38 > 0:16:42They throwing his girlfriend in for that?
0:16:42 > 0:16:45- Yeah.- Can you not get 'em to throw anybody else in?
0:16:45 > 0:16:48Like who? I'm not short of people!
0:16:48 > 0:16:50I just don't wanna hand over 30 grand
0:16:50 > 0:16:53for the privilege of keeping me worthless dad alive.
0:16:53 > 0:16:55On the other hand...
0:16:55 > 0:16:57just letting them kill him...
0:16:57 > 0:17:00you know, is probably a bit of a karmic no-no.
0:17:16 > 0:17:20I suppose we could find out where they're keeping him,
0:17:20 > 0:17:25launch a lightning raid and snatch your dad back.
0:17:25 > 0:17:27Could we?
0:17:27 > 0:17:29Well, not me personally.
0:17:30 > 0:17:35I might need a little kip before we do any raiding.
0:17:44 > 0:17:45Is it possible?
0:17:45 > 0:17:52It's not impossible. Whether it's possible is another matter.
0:17:54 > 0:17:57I suppose we do need to teach the triad a lesson,
0:17:57 > 0:18:00coming right into our territory like that.
0:18:00 > 0:18:03If push comes to thrust, who do you think we could depend on?
0:18:03 > 0:18:06Cartoon Head, definitely.
0:18:06 > 0:18:10Um...Flu Strength Darren.
0:18:11 > 0:18:14Maybe. Hang on...
0:18:19 > 0:18:21Mad Andrew?
0:18:22 > 0:18:23Maybe.
0:18:23 > 0:18:25Baz the Elbow.
0:18:26 > 0:18:27Maybe.
0:18:27 > 0:18:29Oh...
0:18:31 > 0:18:33Bond Villain!
0:18:33 > 0:18:34Maybe.
0:18:34 > 0:18:36Which Bond villain?
0:18:36 > 0:18:37That's his name...
0:18:37 > 0:18:39Bond Villain.
0:18:42 > 0:18:44Brute 33.
0:18:44 > 0:18:45HE SUCKS HIS TEETH
0:18:45 > 0:18:47Maybe.
0:18:48 > 0:18:50Terry Christian, definitely.
0:18:50 > 0:18:52What, THE Terry Christian?
0:18:53 > 0:18:55No.
0:18:55 > 0:18:57Just got the same name.
0:18:58 > 0:19:00He's well vicious.
0:19:01 > 0:19:04Got a lot of anger and resentment.
0:19:04 > 0:19:06About being called Terry Christian?
0:19:06 > 0:19:07Yeah.
0:19:07 > 0:19:11I could ask the Denton Posse.
0:19:13 > 0:19:14Great. How many of them are there?
0:19:14 > 0:19:16Just one.
0:19:17 > 0:19:20One person does not a posse make.
0:19:20 > 0:19:22He's a big bloke, blud.
0:19:22 > 0:19:24He's about ten times your size.
0:19:24 > 0:19:27What's he gonna do? Eat the triad?!
0:19:27 > 0:19:30- I'm gonna ask Murderizer. - Murderizer's soft as shit.
0:19:30 > 0:19:32So why's he called Murderizer?
0:19:32 > 0:19:34Cos he keeps getting murdered.
0:19:34 > 0:19:39Does anybody know anyone who might be of any help whatsoever?
0:19:39 > 0:19:41How about Violence Generator?
0:19:41 > 0:19:44- Nah, Violence Generator's settled down.- Really?
0:19:44 > 0:19:47She's a wedding planner these days.
0:19:53 > 0:19:56All right, Jude Law?
0:20:06 > 0:20:09- Are they loaded?- Nah, course not.
0:20:09 > 0:20:12We've got some silencers, an' all.
0:20:12 > 0:20:15Ooh! I didn't know silencers really existed.
0:20:15 > 0:20:16Course they do.
0:20:19 > 0:20:21Don't need one. Ain't got a gun.
0:20:21 > 0:20:22I got you a gun, an' all.
0:20:25 > 0:20:28There you go, Morris. Pop it in your handbag.
0:20:28 > 0:20:30I don't want it!
0:20:30 > 0:20:34Come on. Gun crime's on the increase. You don't want to miss out.
0:20:34 > 0:20:36Yes, I do.
0:20:36 > 0:20:39Anyway, I can barely get me finger round t'trigger.
0:20:39 > 0:20:40This thing's microscopic.
0:20:40 > 0:20:43- Baby's first gun! - THEY CHUCKLE
0:20:43 > 0:20:48It's true, blud. That ain't going to do the triad no damage.
0:20:48 > 0:20:51Unless they've got a cat or a puppy.
0:20:51 > 0:20:53CHUCKLING
0:20:53 > 0:20:57I'll swap you it for this. I calls it The Edge.
0:20:57 > 0:21:00I tell you, blud, it's a joy to swing.
0:21:00 > 0:21:02I'm doing no shooting
0:21:02 > 0:21:04and no swinging.
0:21:04 > 0:21:07What, so you're just gonna go into the triad attack
0:21:07 > 0:21:08bare-knuckle fighting?
0:21:08 > 0:21:14Wow! That is impressively postal.
0:21:14 > 0:21:20No, I...I hadn't imagined I'd be that hands-on in the actual raid.
0:21:20 > 0:21:24I thought I'd be playing more of a... Brian Wilson role.
0:21:25 > 0:21:29Oh, I get it. So we all risk our lives for your dad...
0:21:30 > 0:21:34and you stay at home and sit on your sofa, jerkin' your gherkin.
0:21:34 > 0:21:37- Is that it?- No. I...
0:21:37 > 0:21:41I thought I'd be back at HQ. Y'know, manning the phones.
0:21:41 > 0:21:45Then afterwards, I'll take you all out for a big meal.
0:21:45 > 0:21:47I've got a better idea.
0:21:47 > 0:21:53Why don't you come along on the attack and I'll take meself out?
0:21:56 > 0:21:57Bastard!
0:21:57 > 0:22:00You said it wasn't loaded!
0:22:00 > 0:22:02Shit.
0:22:02 > 0:22:04- Steve, sit down.- No!
0:22:04 > 0:22:06He said it wasn't loaded.
0:22:06 > 0:22:10So? We all make mistakes. I mean, look at you.
0:22:10 > 0:22:14You shot yourself. HE CHUCKLES
0:22:14 > 0:22:18- Steve, sit down! - I'm too angry to sit down!
0:22:18 > 0:22:20I'm too angry for popcorn!
0:22:20 > 0:22:22Please, sit down.
0:22:22 > 0:22:24Take the weight off your wound.
0:22:24 > 0:22:26No, I'd best not. They say you shouldn't move them.
0:22:26 > 0:22:29You need to stem the flow of blood, blud.
0:22:29 > 0:22:32MOBILE BEEPS
0:22:32 > 0:22:33No power.
0:22:33 > 0:22:35Somebody call an ambulance!
0:22:40 > 0:22:43I can't get a signal.
0:22:43 > 0:22:44I'll do it. I'll do it.
0:22:47 > 0:22:49- MOBILE BEEPS - My battery's dead and all.
0:22:50 > 0:22:54I clearly said, "Are they loaded?" And you said, "No."
0:22:54 > 0:22:56Shut it, Makka Pakka!
0:22:56 > 0:22:58Xavier, use the land line in the hallway.
0:22:58 > 0:23:01Tell them to send the best ambulance they've got.
0:23:01 > 0:23:02Sure, blud.
0:23:06 > 0:23:10Get a move on! It's an emergency, not a fashion show!
0:23:13 > 0:23:15It ain't here, blud.
0:23:15 > 0:23:17What d'you mean it ain't there?!
0:23:17 > 0:23:19Your base unit's here but that's all.
0:23:19 > 0:23:21Look in t'kitchen!
0:23:32 > 0:23:35I ain't seein' it, blud.
0:23:35 > 0:23:36Keep lookin'!
0:23:36 > 0:23:38Just search everywhere!
0:23:48 > 0:23:51Why didn't you actually check if it was loaded or not?
0:23:51 > 0:23:55Why didn't you check, if it's so important to you?
0:23:57 > 0:23:59Lean out the window.
0:23:59 > 0:24:01What?!
0:24:01 > 0:24:02To get a mobile signal.
0:24:02 > 0:24:05It always works for me. You've just got to lean really far out.
0:24:05 > 0:24:08Let Cartoon Head hold onto your ankles.
0:24:08 > 0:24:10Not until he apologises.
0:24:10 > 0:24:14Me apologise?! You apologise.
0:24:14 > 0:24:16Psycho Paul doesn't apologise.
0:24:16 > 0:24:20Yeah? Well, neither does Stevel Knievel.
0:24:21 > 0:24:22Suits me.
0:24:29 > 0:24:30Steve?
0:24:34 > 0:24:36Bye, then.
0:24:39 > 0:24:40CLICK
0:24:41 > 0:24:42CLICK
0:24:46 > 0:24:50It isn't loaded. Your bullet must've been in the chamber.
0:24:53 > 0:24:57Steve, please sit down, this popcorn's getting really heavy.
0:24:59 > 0:25:01Maybe I will sit down.
0:25:01 > 0:25:04- Come on. - Just to be on the safe side.
0:25:15 > 0:25:20Hey! Hey, CH.
0:25:30 > 0:25:34I know you killed me brother.
0:25:36 > 0:25:38I'll tell you one thing.
0:25:40 > 0:25:41You didn't kill me.
0:25:43 > 0:25:45I killed me.
0:25:46 > 0:25:47I did it.
0:25:50 > 0:25:52I'll tell you another thing...
0:25:53 > 0:25:55..and I want you to remember this...
0:25:57 > 0:25:58You two...
0:25:59 > 0:26:01..are both...
0:26:02 > 0:26:04..total cu...
0:26:30 > 0:26:34# I won't be there any more
0:26:35 > 0:26:40# I won't be there any more
0:26:41 > 0:26:46# I won't be there any more
0:26:47 > 0:26:53# I won't be there any more
0:26:54 > 0:26:58# I won't be there any more
0:26:58 > 0:27:05# I won't be there any more
0:27:06 > 0:27:08# I won't be there any more... #
0:27:08 > 0:27:10BOTH: All right, our kid?
0:27:12 > 0:27:16# I won't be there any more... #
0:27:26 > 0:27:27Bloody hell...
0:27:31 > 0:27:32Found it.
0:27:32 > 0:27:34It were under your teddy.
0:27:34 > 0:27:35Too late.
0:27:37 > 0:27:39He's already gone ex-directory.
0:27:41 > 0:27:42Are you having an affair?
0:27:42 > 0:27:45How about you, are you having an affair?
0:27:45 > 0:27:46That makes me so angry.
0:27:46 > 0:27:48I believe you have some merch.
0:27:49 > 0:27:52We have got a lot of guns.
0:27:52 > 0:27:54Do you really?
0:27:55 > 0:27:56How much did you pay for that?
0:27:56 > 0:27:58Hey, good luck with getting your dad back.
0:27:58 > 0:28:01I feel like the world's been turned upside down.
0:28:01 > 0:28:05It is at your door.
0:28:05 > 0:28:08Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:28:08 > 0:28:11E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk