0:00:02 > 0:00:04This programme contains some strong language.
0:00:04 > 0:00:07Jenny, I can't tell you how glad I am you came back.
0:00:07 > 0:00:09Me too.
0:00:10 > 0:00:12Fancy a chunk?
0:00:12 > 0:00:15I was gonna do rings, but then I decided to go old school.
0:00:17 > 0:00:20It smells lovely. Like pineapple.
0:00:20 > 0:00:22I got some toothpicks somewhere.
0:00:22 > 0:00:25I don't like toothpicks.
0:00:25 > 0:00:27They get between me teeth.
0:00:28 > 0:00:31You all right? I'm all right.
0:00:38 > 0:00:40Hi, hi.
0:00:40 > 0:00:42- Brian?- All right, mate.
0:00:42 > 0:00:45How's it goin' an' goin'?
0:00:45 > 0:00:47Aw, isn't he scrummy?
0:00:47 > 0:00:48The name's Barry.
0:00:50 > 0:00:52Barry Two Mouths.
0:00:52 > 0:00:53And you can say that again.
0:01:00 > 0:01:01This pineapple is mint.
0:01:05 > 0:01:06Cartoon Head just phoned.
0:01:07 > 0:01:09He's coming round with a bazooka.
0:01:12 > 0:01:15Good old reality.
0:01:36 > 0:01:39I'm going to phone Moz. Tell him where to leave the ransom money.
0:01:39 > 0:01:40Where you choose?
0:01:40 > 0:01:43Car park on wasteland at the end of Norden Street.
0:01:43 > 0:01:45Too obscure.
0:01:45 > 0:01:48OK. How about the refuse bin behind McDonalds?
0:01:48 > 0:01:50Too mainstream.
0:01:50 > 0:01:53You want to name place? Name somewhere!
0:01:53 > 0:01:57Tell him go to left luggage department, Piccadilly train station.
0:01:57 > 0:01:58Put money in locker.
0:01:58 > 0:02:00Text locker number to you.
0:02:00 > 0:02:01Then, he go station toilet
0:02:01 > 0:02:05and hide locker key in water cistern in the cubicle.
0:02:05 > 0:02:06Too complicated!
0:02:06 > 0:02:09This man cannot do complicated.
0:02:09 > 0:02:12He lives on chips, cheddar and ganja!
0:02:12 > 0:02:17I couldn't help overhearing. Might I be allowed to make a suggestion?
0:02:17 > 0:02:20- No. - He only lives across the landing.
0:02:20 > 0:02:23Why don't you just bob over and pick it up?
0:02:23 > 0:02:25No respect for tradition.
0:02:28 > 0:02:31Now, can I continue as planned
0:02:31 > 0:02:33and tell Moz to leave the money in Norden Street car park?
0:02:33 > 0:02:35OK, OK.
0:02:35 > 0:02:37Can do, can do.
0:02:39 > 0:02:42What I don't understand is where Cartoon Head got a bazooka from.
0:02:42 > 0:02:45Him and Flu Strength Darren have got it on a time share.
0:02:47 > 0:02:49MOBILE PHONE RINGS
0:02:53 > 0:02:54It's them.
0:02:56 > 0:02:58Get as much information as you can, blood.
0:02:58 > 0:03:00We gotta find out where they are.
0:03:00 > 0:03:05That's right Morris, you've gotta do some big sniffing.
0:03:05 > 0:03:07MOBILE PHONE RINGS
0:03:09 > 0:03:10Hiya.
0:03:11 > 0:03:14What's the weather like where you are?
0:03:14 > 0:03:15'What?'
0:03:15 > 0:03:19Well, it looks like rain here. Does it look like rain there?
0:03:22 > 0:03:24Actually, it looks like murder.
0:03:24 > 0:03:26I have some information for you.
0:03:26 > 0:03:27MUFFLED CRY
0:03:28 > 0:03:30Is that seagulls I can hear?
0:03:30 > 0:03:32'At midnight tonight,'
0:03:32 > 0:03:34you will go to Norden Street car park and leave
0:03:34 > 0:03:37a plastic carrier bag containing £30,000 in the rubbish bin.
0:03:37 > 0:03:40Chuck 30 grand in the bin?!
0:03:40 > 0:03:42I'm not the Arts Council!
0:03:43 > 0:03:45Listen to me.
0:03:45 > 0:03:49You do as we say or your father will suffer.
0:03:50 > 0:03:52I want to talk to him.
0:03:52 > 0:03:54OK.
0:03:54 > 0:03:56It's your stupid son.
0:03:56 > 0:03:58All right, kiddo? Argh!
0:03:58 > 0:04:00'Arghhhh!'
0:04:00 > 0:04:02'I hope you heard what he has to say.'
0:04:05 > 0:04:08Shit, that's not a lot to go on.
0:04:08 > 0:04:10I'm certain that I heard a seagull.
0:04:11 > 0:04:14Could be Southport? Blackpool? Morecambe?
0:04:14 > 0:04:17Lytham St Anne's? It's quite nice.
0:04:19 > 0:04:22But why would they bother taking him to the seaside?
0:04:22 > 0:04:26Well, he is a senior citizen.
0:04:26 > 0:04:27They do like that sort of thing.
0:04:27 > 0:04:29KNOCK ON DOOR
0:04:31 > 0:04:35Cartoon Head, Judith. Oh, you've had the baby.
0:04:35 > 0:04:38Yes, sorry. Isn't he perfect?
0:04:38 > 0:04:39Yeah...
0:04:42 > 0:04:44He's got a...mask on.
0:04:44 > 0:04:47He's such a daddy's boy.
0:04:47 > 0:04:48Right.
0:04:48 > 0:04:51What's it called?
0:04:51 > 0:04:53We're not completely settled on a name yet.
0:04:53 > 0:04:55I like Matthew or Michael.
0:04:55 > 0:04:58But CH is keen on Plastic Face.
0:04:59 > 0:05:00Plastic Face?
0:05:02 > 0:05:06Well, there won't be any others in his class at school.
0:05:06 > 0:05:08That's what CH said.
0:05:08 > 0:05:10Are you coming in?
0:05:10 > 0:05:12No, I just popped by to show him off.
0:05:12 > 0:05:15I've got to get home and pump my breasts.
0:05:15 > 0:05:17Sorry. We'll see you later, CH.
0:05:17 > 0:05:20Try not to do anything too violent.
0:05:20 > 0:05:22Bye, Moz.
0:05:22 > 0:05:24Congratulations, Judith. See you soon.
0:05:24 > 0:05:28You look after young Master Plastic Face, won't you?
0:05:32 > 0:05:33Is that what I think it is?
0:05:45 > 0:05:48You're not seriously planning on using that?
0:05:49 > 0:05:53What about the town motto, "Salford Stops Short of Bazookas"?
0:05:53 > 0:05:55You don't need to use it, Morris.
0:05:55 > 0:05:58Once they see you've got one of those, they do as they're told.
0:05:58 > 0:06:00Nobody wants a big hole blown through 'em.
0:06:03 > 0:06:08However, I should remind you, we're still no nearer to knowing
0:06:08 > 0:06:10where the triad are holding him.
0:06:10 > 0:06:13So, although it's obviously hugely reassuring
0:06:13 > 0:06:17having a weapon of mass destruction in t'lounge,
0:06:17 > 0:06:19not one of us has first clue where to point it!
0:06:19 > 0:06:21Don't worry, Morris.
0:06:21 > 0:06:24All that side's been took care of.
0:06:25 > 0:06:28Barry Two Mouths is on the case.
0:06:28 > 0:06:31He's phonin' at seven with all the info we need.
0:06:31 > 0:06:33It's seven now.
0:06:33 > 0:06:35One minute to.
0:06:35 > 0:06:41Barry'll know. I'm tellin' you, blood, Barry's the dog's bollocks.
0:06:41 > 0:06:42He'd better be.
0:06:42 > 0:06:46Otherwise, in five hours time, my Dad is brown bread.
0:06:46 > 0:06:48And toast.
0:06:48 > 0:06:52MOBILE PHONE PLAYS A JAUNTY TUNE
0:06:56 > 0:06:57All right, Barry.
0:06:57 > 0:07:03So...give me the facts on this kidnapping.
0:07:04 > 0:07:06Where they holed up?
0:07:06 > 0:07:08How many of them are there? What weapons have they got?
0:07:08 > 0:07:10Check they haven't got a bazooki.
0:07:11 > 0:07:17Barry, Barry, I can't tell what you're saying.
0:07:17 > 0:07:22Have you got something in one of your mouths? Well, take it out then!
0:07:25 > 0:07:28Now, what's the word on the street?
0:07:31 > 0:07:33Got you.
0:07:34 > 0:07:36Right.
0:07:36 > 0:07:38Right.
0:07:38 > 0:07:39Really?
0:07:41 > 0:07:44OK.
0:07:44 > 0:07:45Right.
0:07:45 > 0:07:46Cheers.
0:07:49 > 0:07:51Well?
0:07:52 > 0:07:54He hasn't got a clue.
0:07:54 > 0:07:58What?! You said he'd definitely know!
0:07:59 > 0:08:00You said he was the dog's bollocks!
0:08:00 > 0:08:04Turns out he's just common or garden bollocks!
0:08:04 > 0:08:06What have I done?!
0:08:06 > 0:08:11Christ! My Dad's life's at stake and I've pinned me hopes on you lot!
0:08:11 > 0:08:12You lot!
0:08:13 > 0:08:16I should've been out there raising the rest of the ransom money!
0:08:16 > 0:08:19Instead of sitting round here with the fucking Tombliboos!
0:08:21 > 0:08:23What am I gonna do?
0:08:31 > 0:08:35- How much they asking for again? - 30 grand.
0:08:35 > 0:08:39They don't seem to be taking the credit crunch into consideration.
0:08:39 > 0:08:43How much you got? Ten grand.
0:08:49 > 0:08:52Why don't you ask them what you can get for ten?
0:08:52 > 0:08:56Maybe do a deal and send each other instalments?
0:08:56 > 0:08:59Great. It's the ultimate part-work.
0:08:59 > 0:09:02Builds up week by week into a complete Dad.
0:09:02 > 0:09:05Part one comes with a free ear!
0:09:05 > 0:09:07KNOCKING ON DOOR
0:09:12 > 0:09:15Linen, linen, linen!
0:09:18 > 0:09:21- Sorry, Brian, I'm just... - Pathetic?
0:09:21 > 0:09:25- Like a Wigan salad bar.- Aw.
0:09:25 > 0:09:27And you're looking dead dreadful.
0:09:27 > 0:09:30Step into my office.
0:09:30 > 0:09:33So I've only got one option left.
0:09:33 > 0:09:37I've got to lay my hands on 20 grand, ASAP.
0:09:37 > 0:09:42I'd help you if I could, but my life savings are next week's pay packet.
0:09:44 > 0:09:46Despite all this,
0:09:46 > 0:09:48do you know what frightens me most?
0:09:48 > 0:09:50That little bald patch?
0:09:50 > 0:09:54What little bald pa...? Shut up.
0:09:56 > 0:09:57No, it's Jenny.
0:09:59 > 0:10:01She won't have me back.
0:10:02 > 0:10:06- Did she find out you shagged Nicki? - No!
0:10:06 > 0:10:08And she's not going to do.
0:10:08 > 0:10:13Me and Nicki are history, that were just an...aftershock.
0:10:14 > 0:10:19Although I have been having some very impure thoughts about Tilly upstairs...
0:10:19 > 0:10:22And downstairs.
0:10:22 > 0:10:24And in her lady's chamber.
0:10:24 > 0:10:27If you know Tilly, why don't you ask her to lend you t'ransom money?
0:10:27 > 0:10:29She's packed out with brass, man.
0:10:29 > 0:10:33What? If she's so loaded, what's she doing living round here?
0:10:33 > 0:10:36She's slummin' it, isn't she? Soakin' up the ambulance.
0:10:37 > 0:10:39You know her designer clothes shop?
0:10:39 > 0:10:40Trash Wednesday?
0:10:40 > 0:10:43She's got another ten of them in t'States.
0:10:43 > 0:10:46I'm just off up to her soiree.
0:10:46 > 0:10:48I thought you were going to Nicki's party?
0:10:48 > 0:10:50HE SCOFFS: Please!
0:10:50 > 0:10:52I'm not gonna party when I can soiree.
0:10:52 > 0:10:54Do the math.
0:10:59 > 0:11:00This is a really nice flat.
0:11:00 > 0:11:03I'm thinking of getting somewhere like this.
0:11:03 > 0:11:06With my boyfriend, Paul.
0:11:06 > 0:11:08I wish I'd known it were fancy dress.
0:11:08 > 0:11:10I feel like a right pillock.
0:11:12 > 0:11:16I ask you to buy a housewarming gift, and you forget. So I do it.
0:11:16 > 0:11:20I ask you to wrap it and you forget. So I do it.
0:11:20 > 0:11:23I ask you to put it in the bag with the beers, and you forget!
0:11:23 > 0:11:26It's not my fault you've not picked up on the rhythm by now.
0:11:28 > 0:11:30I've created a monster.
0:11:30 > 0:11:33- Ah, Lady Blah Blah.- There you go.
0:11:33 > 0:11:35You two OK?
0:11:35 > 0:11:38Food good.
0:11:38 > 0:11:41Fancy dress was a marvellous idea. And the apartment looks great.
0:11:41 > 0:11:45Oh, yeah. You won't find a classier do going on round here.
0:11:48 > 0:11:52I thought the whole exhibition radiated a very liminal anxiety.
0:11:52 > 0:11:56It wasn't as mesmerising as I expected. I like to be mesmerised.
0:11:56 > 0:12:00- I like to be mesmerised. - I like to be mesmerised.
0:12:00 > 0:12:02I prefer to be spellbound.
0:12:02 > 0:12:04ENTRY PHONE BUZZES
0:12:07 > 0:12:09ENTRY PHONE BUZZES
0:12:10 > 0:12:12Moz! Come in, come in, come in.
0:12:12 > 0:12:15We're having cocktails, Brandy ASBOs.
0:12:15 > 0:12:19- How divine. - Moz, Astrid, Ross, Josh.
0:12:19 > 0:12:21Moz and I collaborated on the sperm project.
0:12:21 > 0:12:26- I love your work. Very daring. - I was lucky to pull it off.
0:12:26 > 0:12:29I came straight here from my philosophy evening class.
0:12:29 > 0:12:32Right. What did you learn about this week?
0:12:32 > 0:12:34Foucault.
0:12:34 > 0:12:36Come on, you must've learnt something?
0:12:36 > 0:12:38I think dance is the greatest philosophy of all.
0:12:38 > 0:12:40Oh, undoubtedly.
0:12:40 > 0:12:43I mean, if you want to know why we're here, you go to a ballet.
0:12:43 > 0:12:44You'll soon be wishing you were here.
0:12:44 > 0:12:46- TILLY:- ASBO?
0:12:46 > 0:12:48Cheers, Tilly.
0:12:48 > 0:12:53Listen, could we go and talk somewhere more private?
0:12:53 > 0:12:55Sure. Meet me in the john.
0:13:00 > 0:13:01Mmm.
0:13:01 > 0:13:04Cocaine is pretty fucking real.
0:13:04 > 0:13:06It's what noses were designed for.
0:13:09 > 0:13:11Brian. What a soiree sight.
0:13:11 > 0:13:14You don't have to do that in here.
0:13:14 > 0:13:16You can do that out there.
0:13:16 > 0:13:19Yeah, I know. It's just much classier doing it in the toilet, innit?
0:13:19 > 0:13:22There's a couple of lines for you there.
0:13:22 > 0:13:25Right, I'm gonna mingle like a mutha.
0:13:26 > 0:13:28Tilly...
0:13:28 > 0:13:32I was wondering if you could...loan me some money?
0:13:32 > 0:13:33Sure. How much do you need?
0:13:33 > 0:13:35How much can you afford to lend?
0:13:35 > 0:13:37- How much would make a difference? - How much can you get your hands on?
0:13:37 > 0:13:40- How much do you want? - How long's a piece of string?
0:13:40 > 0:13:41- How much do you need?- 20 grand.
0:13:41 > 0:13:43That's a fuck of a lot of string.
0:13:43 > 0:13:46What do you need that kinda money for? Forget I said that.
0:13:46 > 0:13:49I don't need to know. I can help, I want to help, I'm going to help.
0:13:49 > 0:13:50I'll lend you the money.
0:13:52 > 0:13:53God, Tilly.
0:13:53 > 0:13:57- You've saved my bacon big time. - My pleasure.
0:14:05 > 0:14:06I promise you, I always pay back my debts,
0:14:06 > 0:14:09even if I have to borrow money to do it.
0:14:09 > 0:14:13It's OK. You know, I thought when you asked me in here,
0:14:13 > 0:14:15you were gonna make a pass.
0:14:16 > 0:14:19Well, I still could. You know, I mean,
0:14:19 > 0:14:21what do you reckon? You and me?
0:14:23 > 0:14:26Might be kind of difficult. I'm a celibate lesbian.
0:14:26 > 0:14:30So? That's not such a big problem, is it?
0:14:30 > 0:14:33Oh, it is, isn't it?
0:14:33 > 0:14:35It's two big problems.
0:14:35 > 0:14:37Moz, I think of you as a true friend. Can that be enough?
0:14:39 > 0:14:40Yeah, I suppose so.
0:14:40 > 0:14:43If that's all that's on offer.
0:14:43 > 0:14:47But promise me, if you ever get bi-curious, you give me a call.
0:14:47 > 0:14:50I guarantee I can satisfy your curiosity.
0:14:50 > 0:14:52I'm celibate.
0:14:52 > 0:14:54Well, if you ever get sex-curious, then.
0:14:54 > 0:14:56I'm celibate.
0:14:56 > 0:14:59Look, if you ever develop any inquisitiveness
0:14:59 > 0:15:03about anything at all, call me.
0:15:03 > 0:15:05Miracles do happen.
0:15:05 > 0:15:07I once converted a necrophiliac.
0:15:07 > 0:15:10I'll get you that cheque.
0:15:10 > 0:15:11Tilly...
0:15:17 > 0:15:21Anything? Anything at all?
0:15:21 > 0:15:22No.
0:15:52 > 0:15:54KNOCKING ON DOOR
0:16:01 > 0:16:03Of course!
0:16:04 > 0:16:06They're holding him in his own flat!
0:16:07 > 0:16:08Bastards.
0:16:11 > 0:16:15Right, are you ready to storm 'em?!
0:16:15 > 0:16:16What? Now?
0:16:18 > 0:16:22I'm not sure I can storm on an empty stomach.
0:16:22 > 0:16:26Yeah, but, you don't want to be storming on a full stomach,
0:16:26 > 0:16:29cos that'll just make you sluggish.
0:16:29 > 0:16:32But, we could have a snack, couldn't we?
0:16:32 > 0:16:34Surely we can snack'n'storm?
0:16:34 > 0:16:36I'd like to snack'n'storm.
0:16:36 > 0:16:39I don't want a full meal, but I've a got a..
0:16:39 > 0:16:42a space.
0:16:44 > 0:16:45Me too.
0:16:45 > 0:16:47Come on.
0:16:47 > 0:16:49Let's snack'n'storm.
0:16:52 > 0:16:54OK, OK.
0:16:56 > 0:16:59We'll snack'n'storm! Yeah!
0:17:05 > 0:17:11- Rainbow. - Oh, hello. Sweet costume.
0:17:13 > 0:17:15We need to talk.
0:17:15 > 0:17:16Do we?
0:17:16 > 0:17:21I want my Psycho Paul...back.
0:17:21 > 0:17:23Maybe.
0:17:23 > 0:17:25But Double P doesn't want you back.
0:17:25 > 0:17:28- Double P?- That's what I call him.
0:17:28 > 0:17:30Oh.
0:17:30 > 0:17:32He doesn't mind?
0:17:32 > 0:17:34No.
0:17:35 > 0:17:39You know he's only with you cos you're a paramedic, don't you?
0:17:39 > 0:17:41He's only interested in your bodies.
0:17:43 > 0:17:45If I were to shoot you now,
0:17:45 > 0:17:48he'd be flogging you for spare parts tomorrow.
0:17:51 > 0:17:54Oh, puh-lease.
0:17:54 > 0:17:57Do you seriously think this is the first time
0:17:57 > 0:17:59I've been threatened with a gun at a housewarming?
0:18:00 > 0:18:02Swear you'll leave Psycho Paul.
0:18:04 > 0:18:06Or I'll kill you.
0:18:07 > 0:18:09You haven't got the nerve.
0:18:10 > 0:18:13Time to wake up, Snow White.
0:18:13 > 0:18:16Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got to go and look good on the dance floor.
0:18:33 > 0:18:34Are them eggs done yet?
0:18:34 > 0:18:38- Hey, what's that? - Onion rings from your freezer.
0:18:39 > 0:18:41Christ! No, no, no, no!
0:18:41 > 0:18:44I put me Dad's ear in there to preserve it!
0:18:45 > 0:18:47It just said "onion rings" on the packet.
0:18:47 > 0:18:49Oh, for crying' out loud! Look!
0:18:49 > 0:18:51It's covered in breadcrumbs now!
0:18:51 > 0:18:53Still don't look that appetizing, though.
0:18:53 > 0:18:55They must be talkin' about him...
0:18:57 > 0:18:59..cos his ear's burning.
0:19:01 > 0:19:03How could you?
0:19:06 > 0:19:11Yes, I fried your Dad's ear.
0:19:11 > 0:19:14But it was the triad what made it oven-ready.
0:19:16 > 0:19:19Use your anger, Morris.
0:19:19 > 0:19:23Use it against the Low triad.
0:19:23 > 0:19:26Now's the time to attack.
0:19:26 > 0:19:28Yeah. Yeah, you're right.
0:19:34 > 0:19:36Well, come on then.
0:19:36 > 0:19:37But listen, Cartoon Head,
0:19:37 > 0:19:40you have to leave the bazooka here.
0:19:40 > 0:19:43You can't go firing that across me landing.
0:19:43 > 0:19:45You'll bring the whole building down.
0:19:45 > 0:19:48We've already got subsidence and dry rot,
0:19:48 > 0:19:50the last thing we need is heavy shelling.
0:19:50 > 0:19:55Plus it sort of defeats the point of having silencers on the guns.
0:20:02 > 0:20:04Come on, lads. Are we ready?!
0:20:46 > 0:20:48That was a pathetic attempt.
0:20:49 > 0:20:52At least you had a go, Son. I'm proud of you.
0:20:52 > 0:20:54It sounded very impressive.
0:20:54 > 0:20:59Anyway, kiddo, at least now we can all die together, as a family.
0:20:59 > 0:21:01I wish Troy was here.
0:21:11 > 0:21:13Hmm. About 10,000.
0:21:19 > 0:21:21You two are exactly the same.
0:21:22 > 0:21:24But slightly different.
0:21:25 > 0:21:28He's out for all he can get. And you are a get.
0:21:30 > 0:21:32So, where is other 20,000?
0:21:32 > 0:21:34I had a cheque for the balance,
0:21:34 > 0:21:38but I tore it up. All the bits are on the landing.
0:21:39 > 0:21:41We could stick it back together.
0:21:41 > 0:21:44- I'm sure there won't be a problem. - I've got some Blu-Tack.
0:21:44 > 0:21:47Where is the rest of the cash?!
0:21:47 > 0:21:50- There isn't any!- Cut his tongue out.
0:21:50 > 0:21:51Then he will tell you.
0:21:53 > 0:21:57No. I didn't bring any money, because you said you were gonna bring money.
0:21:57 > 0:21:59So, how we gonna pay for the taxi now, smart guy?
0:21:59 > 0:22:01Borrow a tenner.
0:22:01 > 0:22:03You know I hate borrowing money.
0:22:03 > 0:22:07OK, I'll nick a tenner if it'll make you happy.
0:22:08 > 0:22:12Do you know what? This marriage isn't working any more.
0:22:12 > 0:22:14What? Why, what have I done wrong?
0:22:14 > 0:22:18You want just today's ones, or a general overview?
0:22:18 > 0:22:20Oh, it's like that, is it?
0:22:20 > 0:22:22If that's the way you feel, I might as well just go. I don't need you.
0:22:58 > 0:22:59GROWLS
0:23:01 > 0:23:03GROWLS
0:23:13 > 0:23:16WEREWOLF ROARS, COLIN SCREAMS
0:23:35 > 0:23:38So, now is last chance to say where £20,000 is.
0:23:40 > 0:23:42I can't tell you where it is cos it doesn't exist.
0:23:42 > 0:23:44It isn't real money!
0:23:46 > 0:23:49- Oh, I can't watch. - Is someone French kissing?
0:23:49 > 0:23:52Nice and still now.
0:23:52 > 0:23:53Hang on, hang on!
0:23:55 > 0:23:57Jen! You came back!
0:23:57 > 0:23:59And you brought plates!
0:23:59 > 0:24:01Right, who's got a bazooka?
0:24:01 > 0:24:04I've got a bazooka. I am bazooka rich!
0:24:04 > 0:24:09So everyone do as I say. Otherwise, prepare to feel the fucking bass.
0:24:09 > 0:24:12You wouldn't have the first idea how to operate that thing.
0:24:12 > 0:24:14Yeah? I reckon I could easily bazook you.
0:24:14 > 0:24:17Yeah, and I'll give you a proper good plating.
0:24:17 > 0:24:19She's right, I've watched her do it.
0:24:19 > 0:24:21Chen, pop a cap in her ass.
0:24:21 > 0:24:25You don't fit yer cap in yer arse, idiot.
0:24:32 > 0:24:34Wu-tang!
0:24:39 > 0:24:41I'm thinking NHS Direct.
0:24:43 > 0:24:44What a buzz, man!
0:24:44 > 0:24:46You just want to do another one right away.
0:24:46 > 0:24:50- Oh, I'd love to have a go. - Unfortunately, no time for a reload.
0:24:56 > 0:24:57Nicely, nicely!
0:25:04 > 0:25:06Shit.
0:25:13 > 0:25:16I'm sorry about this, Troy, but you know the rules.
0:25:16 > 0:25:19Arrest them all and let God sort them out.
0:25:19 > 0:25:21You're 'right, Filth.
0:25:21 > 0:25:23I was thinking of going to prison for a bit anyway.
0:25:23 > 0:25:25Y'know, learn a trade.
0:25:30 > 0:25:33Oh, Moz. I'm so glad you're safe.
0:25:33 > 0:25:36And I'm so glad you've come back.
0:25:36 > 0:25:40Eh? Who says I've come back?
0:25:40 > 0:25:42I'm really sorry, fella.
0:25:42 > 0:25:45It's a bit more complicated than you think.
0:25:47 > 0:25:50Look, I know you two got drunk and you...
0:25:50 > 0:25:52nudged her in the whiskers.
0:25:53 > 0:25:56But it were a moment of madness. And I forgive you both.
0:25:56 > 0:26:00And that forgiveness is unconditionally guaranteed
0:26:00 > 0:26:01and blame retardant.
0:26:01 > 0:26:03The thing is,
0:26:03 > 0:26:07we've had a few more "moments" since then.
0:26:08 > 0:26:11Five mental moments.
0:26:14 > 0:26:15What?
0:26:20 > 0:26:21Oh, please, no.
0:26:23 > 0:26:25I'm sorry, fella.
0:26:26 > 0:26:31- Jenny's with me now. - Erm, I make my own decisions.
0:26:32 > 0:26:34What happened to us, Jen?
0:26:34 > 0:26:36What happened to you?
0:26:36 > 0:26:38You used to be cool.
0:26:38 > 0:26:42When I first met you, you were a dealer,
0:26:42 > 0:26:44you were always stoned out your head.
0:26:44 > 0:26:49You used to boil noodles in bong water. And now look at you.
0:26:49 > 0:26:50What have you become?
0:26:50 > 0:26:52What do you mean?
0:26:52 > 0:26:55You're always talking about getting a job.
0:26:56 > 0:26:59Look, I swear to you, I'm all talk.
0:27:00 > 0:27:02Jen, please.
0:27:02 > 0:27:06Think about everything that me and you have been through together.
0:27:06 > 0:27:09You've made me happier than I thought possible.
0:27:11 > 0:27:13And in the end,
0:27:13 > 0:27:16I don't mind if you want to be a lap dancer.
0:27:16 > 0:27:18I don't care that you've shagged the wolfman.
0:27:20 > 0:27:24If I'm honest, I've strayed from the one true way myself.
0:27:27 > 0:27:29The body can't always be faithful...
0:27:33 > 0:27:35But the soul can.
0:27:37 > 0:27:39My soul loves you.
0:27:41 > 0:27:43So who is it gonna be?
0:27:44 > 0:27:45Me...
0:27:47 > 0:27:48..or him?
0:27:53 > 0:27:54Ooh.
0:27:56 > 0:27:58That is a tough one.