0:00:22 > 0:00:25I told you, Dad, she went to her friend's house.
0:00:25 > 0:00:28- You just let her walk off? - Dad, what am I supposed to do?
0:00:28 > 0:00:31- Ah, Caroline.- You all right? - Your daughter is running wild again.
0:00:31 > 0:00:33She's out of control.
0:00:33 > 0:00:37But I don't blame her, it's not her fault. No, she's not the one I blame.
0:00:37 > 0:00:38Do you blame us, Jim?
0:00:38 > 0:00:40Yes, I blame you.
0:00:40 > 0:00:43Yeah, I was going to say you as well, but he got there first.
0:00:43 > 0:00:45It's all a big joke to you, innit?
0:00:45 > 0:00:47Oh, can someone please just tell me what's happened?
0:00:47 > 0:00:49This.
0:00:49 > 0:00:50A driving licence?
0:00:50 > 0:00:54I suppose it's too much to hope she's actually passed her driving test?
0:00:54 > 0:00:58She's only 15! Even Lewis Hamilton had to wait till he was 17.
0:00:58 > 0:01:01Well, girls develop faster than boys.
0:01:01 > 0:01:05Yes, but that says she's 19, and her name's Chloe McVitie.
0:01:05 > 0:01:07Heiress to the Jaffa Cake empire, no doubt.
0:01:07 > 0:01:09So what are you going to do about it?
0:01:09 > 0:01:13Well, maybe she wants to see if she can get into an 18 film.
0:01:13 > 0:01:17- She had that rite of passage two years ago.- Look, we'll just ask her why she got it.
0:01:17 > 0:01:21Oh, oh, we can't ask her. It was obtained under an illegal search.
0:01:21 > 0:01:24- You went in Chloe's bedroom? - Oh, not me. He did.
0:01:24 > 0:01:28- Oh!- I was after a pen.
0:01:28 > 0:01:30Hey, write this down...
0:01:30 > 0:01:34Spanish Flea in the 2:20 at Fontwell,
0:01:34 > 0:01:37Dirty Haiku, the four o'clock at Redcar.
0:01:37 > 0:01:39- You're not writing. - I ain't got a pen.
0:01:39 > 0:01:41- Ask your brother. - Where are the pens?
0:01:41 > 0:01:45- I don't live here. - Sorry, I just get confused cos you're always here eating my food.
0:01:45 > 0:01:48It's an understandable mistake.
0:01:48 > 0:01:51You're useless, the pair of you. Chloe? Have you got a pen?
0:01:53 > 0:01:55Chloe? I'll call you back.
0:01:57 > 0:01:59The Spanish Flea, Dirty Haiku...
0:01:59 > 0:02:03Dirty Flea... No, Spanish Flea, Dirty Haiku.
0:02:03 > 0:02:05Chloe? Just want a pen.
0:02:07 > 0:02:11Not looking at anything else, just a pen. Blocking everything else out.
0:02:11 > 0:02:13Not looking... Not looking...
0:02:13 > 0:02:16Not looking...
0:02:16 > 0:02:18What the bloody hell's this?
0:02:18 > 0:02:20I can't believe you went in her room!
0:02:20 > 0:02:22It's lucky someone did.
0:02:22 > 0:02:25I'm putting it back. Anything you found that way is inadmissible.
0:02:25 > 0:02:28What are you talking about, "inadmissible"?
0:02:28 > 0:02:31Just stick it in her face and say, "Start talking!"
0:02:32 > 0:02:34Oh, that's a good idea, Jim - a shouting match.
0:02:34 > 0:02:36That'll be fun for everyone(!)
0:02:36 > 0:02:39- So what's the problem? - Dad, it's all about boundaries.
0:02:39 > 0:02:44I know that's hard to understand for someone who goes to the toilet with the door open.
0:02:44 > 0:02:49Oh, I understand you perfectly. And if I can paraphrase...
0:02:49 > 0:02:51HE CLUCKS
0:02:52 > 0:02:54I'm not frightened of her.
0:02:54 > 0:02:56It's just if we're going to confront her,
0:02:56 > 0:02:58we need our case to be legally airtight.
0:02:58 > 0:03:01- And you are a bit frightened of her. - Of course I'm frightened of her!
0:03:01 > 0:03:05And anyway, I did... I did confront her, in a way.
0:03:05 > 0:03:08Chlo? You all right, love?
0:03:08 > 0:03:10Dad.
0:03:11 > 0:03:13So what are you up to tonight?
0:03:13 > 0:03:16Don't know. Going to Lucy's, probably.
0:03:16 > 0:03:19Lucy's? Yeah. Lucy's the binge drinker, isn't she?
0:03:19 > 0:03:22- No.- Oh?
0:03:22 > 0:03:25- So the binge drinker is, er...? - Nobody.
0:03:25 > 0:03:27Nobody. Then I must be getting her mixed up with...
0:03:27 > 0:03:29You?
0:03:29 > 0:03:31Ooh, nice one.
0:03:34 > 0:03:37Hey, it's fun, isn't it, eh, me and you?
0:03:37 > 0:03:40We're like mates rather than father and daughter.
0:03:40 > 0:03:42We can, you know, talk about anything.
0:03:42 > 0:03:44Don't keep nothing from me.
0:03:44 > 0:03:46Do you want to talk about my period?
0:03:46 > 0:03:48Bye, Dad.
0:03:48 > 0:03:52He let her walk away. See, that's the trouble with your generation,
0:03:52 > 0:03:55you're so caught up with your "respect" and your "rights"
0:03:55 > 0:03:58and "not hitting children".
0:03:58 > 0:04:02How did you even get like this? You grew up in the Swinging Sixties.
0:04:02 > 0:04:05The Swinging Sixties only happened for Lulu and The Monkees.
0:04:05 > 0:04:07Everyone else had to work.
0:04:07 > 0:04:12Oh, come on, Jim. Do you not think you're over-reacting just the tiniest bit?
0:04:12 > 0:04:14Am I? Well, I wonder if you'll be quite so smug
0:04:14 > 0:04:17when your beautiful little daughter,
0:04:17 > 0:04:23who it seems only five minutes ago was playing with her dolls and dressing up as a fairy,
0:04:23 > 0:04:25starts mainlining horse!
0:04:25 > 0:04:30Yes, that's right - horse!
0:04:31 > 0:04:34When he says horse, he means heroin.
0:04:37 > 0:04:38Yes, I know.
0:04:38 > 0:04:42Not the meat, which is actually not too bad.
0:04:42 > 0:04:45- So, you're all right with this? - Well, I trust her.
0:04:45 > 0:04:47We had fake IDs when we were kids.
0:04:47 > 0:04:50Yeah, look what we did with them!
0:04:50 > 0:04:54- Medical university's doing my head in.- Yeah, all those books we have to read.
0:04:54 > 0:04:55All right?
0:04:55 > 0:04:58Hiya. I'll have a pint of snakebite and black.
0:04:58 > 0:05:00Yeah, two of them, like. And a Pernod.
0:05:00 > 0:05:03- Got any ID?- "Got any ID?"
0:05:03 > 0:05:07- It's been a long time since anyone asked me that! - It's flattering in a way, isn't it?
0:05:07 > 0:05:09Yeah. There you are.
0:05:09 > 0:05:13- All right, Miss Winfrey, Mr Depardieu, that'll be £6.52. - Not a problem.
0:05:15 > 0:05:18- You won't have enough for the condom machine.- He's getting them now.
0:05:18 > 0:05:23If only you hadn't had that Pernod, our lives could have been completely different.
0:05:23 > 0:05:26You can't have a snakebite and black without a Pernod.
0:05:26 > 0:05:28We're not Scousers.
0:05:35 > 0:05:41Hey, Steve, I've got Ronaldo, Messi and Forlan!
0:05:41 > 0:05:44- Who did you swap for that? - David James.
0:05:44 > 0:05:46David James for those three?
0:05:46 > 0:05:49When you say "swapped", do you actually mean "conned"?
0:05:49 > 0:05:52Mikey Flynn doesn't do refunds.
0:05:52 > 0:05:55Oh, I wish I could've taken you to Maine Road in the '60s.
0:05:55 > 0:05:59The City team back then, they were like sky blue gods.
0:05:59 > 0:06:03Oh, that reminds me, Jim, we had a bit of excitement at the hotel today.
0:06:03 > 0:06:06- What? Avocado dip didn't come? - HE LAUGHS
0:06:08 > 0:06:09Eh?!
0:06:09 > 0:06:12- We've got one of those guys staying with us.- What guys?
0:06:12 > 0:06:17You know, one them old Man City lot you're always on about. Somebody, oh, Bell, is it?
0:06:17 > 0:06:22- Colin Bell?- That's him. He's one of your favourites, isn't he, Jim?
0:06:22 > 0:06:25What's so good about Colin Bell, Granddad?
0:06:25 > 0:06:28I've told you loads of times.
0:06:28 > 0:06:33You take Messi's ball control, Ronaldo's shot and David Beckham's media savvy and you might,
0:06:33 > 0:06:36you just might be getting close to King Colin.
0:06:36 > 0:06:38Did he marry a pop star?
0:06:38 > 0:06:42No, she was a hairdresser, I believe. Did you meet him?
0:06:42 > 0:06:45Yeah, he's nice. I had a lovely chat with him.
0:06:45 > 0:06:47About what?
0:06:47 > 0:06:49Um, I can't remember.
0:06:49 > 0:06:52- Think, love, think.- Oh, yeah, I remember what we talked about.
0:06:52 > 0:06:53Was it about Man City?
0:06:53 > 0:06:56Strictly Come Dancing. Turns out he's a big fan.
0:06:56 > 0:07:00- He's not!- He's one of those blokes who can talk about anything.
0:07:00 > 0:07:03He's very intelligent, very funny.
0:07:03 > 0:07:06Is he? I always knew he would be.
0:07:06 > 0:07:08Oh, you've got to introduce me.
0:07:08 > 0:07:11- Oh, I don't know about that. - Oh, come on.- I don't know.
0:07:11 > 0:07:16I've probably said too much already. I'm meant to respect clients' confidentiality.
0:07:16 > 0:07:19You're a receptionist, love, not a priest.
0:07:19 > 0:07:21Pardon, Jim?
0:07:21 > 0:07:24I'm sorry. I don't know why I said that. I'm so sorry.
0:07:24 > 0:07:27I'll think about it. TEXT MESSAGE ALERT
0:07:27 > 0:07:28Caz,
0:07:28 > 0:07:32- I just got a text off Chloe, "Stopping out late. Don't wait up." - Well, ring her back.
0:07:32 > 0:07:36- I tried. She's turned her phone off. - This just gets better and better.
0:07:36 > 0:07:38You should've confronted her before.
0:07:38 > 0:07:41No, we want a relationship built on trust
0:07:41 > 0:07:43so she feels she can confide in us.
0:07:43 > 0:07:46I was on his back from the word go and he still confides in me,
0:07:46 > 0:07:48don't you?
0:07:48 > 0:07:51Yeah, yeah. We had that chat about plumbing last September.
0:07:53 > 0:07:57So she's stopping out late, you don't know where, with a fake ID.
0:07:57 > 0:07:59No, we've got the ID, Jim.
0:07:59 > 0:08:01You've got that one. But who knows what else she's got.
0:08:01 > 0:08:04ID, fake passport,
0:08:04 > 0:08:06dodgy credit cards.
0:08:06 > 0:08:09What do you reckon? Should we phone round her friends?
0:08:09 > 0:08:11Then she'd think we don't trust her.
0:08:11 > 0:08:13We DON'T trust her!
0:08:13 > 0:08:14I know. Yeah...
0:08:14 > 0:08:16Oh, no, no, no, no, no!
0:08:16 > 0:08:18- You can't go in her room.- Caroline,
0:08:18 > 0:08:22this is something I never thought I'd say... but Dad might have a point.
0:08:23 > 0:08:27- Thank you.- Oh, I suppose we could have a little look.
0:08:27 > 0:08:29- Yes, we can.- Damn right we can!
0:08:30 > 0:08:33OK, this is Chloe's private e-mail account.
0:08:33 > 0:08:36I just want to go on record as saying this is wrong.
0:08:36 > 0:08:39Right, right, do you want me to stop?
0:08:39 > 0:08:41I just want it on the record.
0:08:42 > 0:08:46All right. OK, um, password? What's her password? What's she into?
0:08:46 > 0:08:47High School Musical?
0:08:47 > 0:08:49When she was about ten!
0:08:49 > 0:08:52Oh. What's that one with the gay vampires?
0:08:52 > 0:08:53- Twilight.- That's it, yeah.
0:08:55 > 0:08:57Try James Dean.
0:08:57 > 0:08:59Jim, it's not 1954 any more.
0:08:59 > 0:09:00James Dean.
0:09:03 > 0:09:05We're in!
0:09:08 > 0:09:11She's got some posters of him, and a book.
0:09:11 > 0:09:13Exactly how long were you up here for?
0:09:13 > 0:09:17Hey, what sort of thing is this for a young girl to be getting?
0:09:17 > 0:09:19"Save pounds on Viagra."
0:09:19 > 0:09:21It's just spam. Delete it.
0:09:21 > 0:09:24- No, no, wait, wait, wait... - Oh, it's gone.
0:09:26 > 0:09:30There's got to be something, be some clue or something...
0:09:30 > 0:09:32Whoa, what's that? What's happening?
0:09:32 > 0:09:34Someone called Wild@heart is messaging you.
0:09:34 > 0:09:37They think we're Chloe.
0:09:37 > 0:09:39"Chloe, er, what are you doing?"
0:09:39 > 0:09:41Oh, maybe you should close it down.
0:09:41 > 0:09:46No, no, wait. This Wild@heart person's going to give us the lead.
0:09:47 > 0:09:49Er, "R U there?"
0:09:49 > 0:09:52Er, "Yes."
0:09:52 > 0:09:54"You know, hanging.
0:09:56 > 0:09:58Just chillaxing."
0:10:00 > 0:10:02"Chillaxing"?
0:10:03 > 0:10:07- Yes, it's what all the kids are saying these days. - No, they're not.
0:10:07 > 0:10:10No, it's old school. Now the kids are saying "stuka",
0:10:10 > 0:10:12like, "It's, it's well stuka, man".
0:10:12 > 0:10:14No, we're not.
0:10:16 > 0:10:17You will be.
0:10:19 > 0:10:21Er,
0:10:21 > 0:10:24"I've just got that cobra tattoo on my bum, now we're like twins."
0:10:27 > 0:10:29Chloe's got a tattoo on her bum?
0:10:29 > 0:10:32- No way!- Steve, go downstairs.
0:10:32 > 0:10:35Have we ever checked her bum?
0:10:35 > 0:10:37How am I supposed to check her bum?
0:10:37 > 0:10:42- What, so we're supposed to just sit back and not check her bum?- Well... - What kind of parents are we?
0:10:42 > 0:10:46Right, whoa, let's just think. Um, right, hang on. I'm going to find out what's going on.
0:10:46 > 0:10:49Um... "What's happening tonight?"
0:10:54 > 0:10:57"U R still coming to that flash party, right?"
0:10:57 > 0:10:58Flash party?
0:10:58 > 0:11:01Let's go. Let's go to the flash party.
0:11:02 > 0:11:07- What the hell's a flash party? - It's like an impromptu party, usually like in an old building.
0:11:07 > 0:11:09It's what you used to call a rave.
0:11:09 > 0:11:13Find out where this party is, go and get her and bring her home.
0:11:13 > 0:11:14Right.
0:11:14 > 0:11:17I thought you were supposed to be the casual, laidback one.
0:11:17 > 0:11:20I am. That's why I'm sending Liam.
0:11:20 > 0:11:22Do you think I look all right?
0:11:22 > 0:11:24We're going to get my daughter, not pick up women.
0:11:24 > 0:11:27It's all right, I can multi-task.
0:11:27 > 0:11:28Come on.
0:11:28 > 0:11:33I hope they get to her before she gets to her dealer.
0:11:33 > 0:11:36Pack it in, Jim. She's not a bad girl.
0:11:36 > 0:11:39Well, I'm sure that's what Amy Winehouse's mum used to say.
0:11:41 > 0:11:44I'm sorry, she's nothing like Amy Winehouse.
0:11:44 > 0:11:47She'd never take drugs or marry a criminal.
0:11:47 > 0:11:49No, I'm sure you're right.
0:11:49 > 0:11:54I was wondering if you'd, er, thought any more about Colin?
0:11:54 > 0:11:56- Oh... No.- Why not?
0:11:56 > 0:11:58You know why not.
0:11:58 > 0:12:00Because you don't want the likes of me coming into your posh hotel.
0:12:00 > 0:12:03- Er... pretty much.- You're a snob.
0:12:03 > 0:12:06I am not a snob. I just don't want a repeat of last time.
0:12:06 > 0:12:08It was an emergency situation.
0:12:08 > 0:12:13We've missed the last bus, it's raining, we just need a place to crash out.
0:12:13 > 0:12:16I can't just give you a free room, Jim.
0:12:16 > 0:12:20We'll make our own beds and everything. You won't know we were here.
0:12:20 > 0:12:22I'm sorry, it doesn't work that way.
0:12:22 > 0:12:26Course it does. Barry, bring that dog in. It'll be soaked.
0:12:29 > 0:12:32Not that. I'd actually forgotten that incident.
0:12:34 > 0:12:37Ah, you mean the time when I dropped those sheets in for you to wash?
0:12:37 > 0:12:41You're not helping your case by reminding me of these things.
0:12:41 > 0:12:43So what are you talking about?
0:12:43 > 0:12:44The time in the bar.
0:12:46 > 0:12:49Caroline, there's a gentleman asking for you in the bar.
0:12:49 > 0:12:54I've got family who work here. She's senior to you. Hey, that's her!
0:12:54 > 0:12:56Caroline!
0:12:56 > 0:13:00- Jim!- This joker's asking four quid for a pint of bitter.
0:13:00 > 0:13:02Yep, that's the price, Jim.
0:13:02 > 0:13:05Well, he could've told us that before we drank six each.
0:13:05 > 0:13:08I'm afraid there's not much I can do about it now.
0:13:08 > 0:13:10This is my daughter-in-law. I want staff discount.
0:13:10 > 0:13:13- We don't do staff discount. - Unofficial.
0:13:13 > 0:13:14Put it through as lemonade.
0:13:14 > 0:13:17We don't do that kind of thing.
0:13:17 > 0:13:22Oh, really? Then ask her why every towel in her wardrobe has this hotel's logo on it.
0:13:28 > 0:13:32- All right, I was a bit... - Drunk?
0:13:32 > 0:13:35Exuberant. It was the fishing club's AGM.
0:13:37 > 0:13:43I know that's not much of an excuse but, Caroline, I've really got to meet Colin.
0:13:43 > 0:13:46I'd behave myseIf. I love him.
0:13:46 > 0:13:48I'm not ashamed to say it.
0:13:48 > 0:13:51OK, you can tell him yourself.
0:13:51 > 0:13:53Oh, thank you, thank you.
0:13:53 > 0:13:56I'm not arranging it, Jim. It's more than my job's worth.
0:13:56 > 0:13:58But here's his room number.
0:13:58 > 0:14:01Send a note up to Mr Bell, tell him how you feel.
0:14:01 > 0:14:04- The rest is up to you. - Oh, thank you.
0:14:04 > 0:14:07Oh, me and Colin Bell. I can't believe it.
0:14:07 > 0:14:09What will I talk to him about?
0:14:09 > 0:14:11Football?
0:14:11 > 0:14:15Of course! Yeah, brilliant. Oh, thanks, love!
0:14:21 > 0:14:23Relax, he's just a man.
0:14:28 > 0:14:31Yep, here we are. 320, the High Street.
0:14:31 > 0:14:34Are you sure? Looks like a Turkish restaurant.
0:14:34 > 0:14:37Yeah, well, the club'll be in the basement, won't it?
0:14:37 > 0:14:42Then when the kids get the munchies bang, they're straight upstairs for a kebab. Double bubble.
0:14:42 > 0:14:43What, you reckon?
0:14:43 > 0:14:46Yeah. Do you know what the mark-up is on a kebab?
0:14:46 > 0:14:48Let's have it.
0:14:49 > 0:14:50TV PLAYS IN BACKGROUND
0:14:50 > 0:14:52Chloe? Chloe!
0:14:52 > 0:14:56- Are you all right? Where's Chloe? - Found the place, no Chloe.
0:14:56 > 0:14:59Yeah, but that bloke's going to remember the Flynn brothers.
0:14:59 > 0:15:03Every time he sees the spot where Gordon Burns used to be.
0:15:03 > 0:15:05Sorry? You stole a photograph of Gordon Burns?
0:15:05 > 0:15:10No, Caroline. I stole a SIGNED photograph of Gordon Burns.
0:15:10 > 0:15:13But no Chloe? That girl is in so much trouble.
0:15:13 > 0:15:16She's pushed it way too far this time. When I get hold of her...
0:15:16 > 0:15:17Hiya.
0:15:17 > 0:15:22Oh, Chloe... You all right, yeah? You look quite nice actually, love. You have a good time?
0:15:22 > 0:15:25- Night.- She's had it.
0:15:25 > 0:15:28I'm going to speak to her tomorrow. I'll tell her.
0:15:30 > 0:15:32What?
0:15:36 > 0:15:38See, it's half-eleven, she's still not up.
0:15:38 > 0:15:43- I could go in her room and start hoovering. - No, we'll give her till twelve.
0:15:43 > 0:15:45What are you going to say to her?
0:15:45 > 0:15:48- I don't know. I can't let her know we've been in her room. - DOOR SHUTS >
0:15:48 > 0:15:50Morning, campers. Who fancies a fry?
0:15:50 > 0:15:53- Not in the mood, thanks, Tommy. - Huh?
0:15:53 > 0:15:54Oh, cos of Chloe?
0:15:54 > 0:15:56Yeah. She's still not up.
0:15:56 > 0:15:59It's a tricky situation. D'you mind if I...?
0:15:59 > 0:16:00No, go for it.
0:16:01 > 0:16:05Where's your bacon and your eggs? I wouldn't mind a sausage.
0:16:05 > 0:16:07What exactly have you brought round?
0:16:07 > 0:16:08Paper.
0:16:11 > 0:16:12Bit of washing for...
0:16:15 > 0:16:18Oh, bingo! Now, what d'you reckon?
0:16:18 > 0:16:21Should I make Chloe a bacon sarnie, pop it up to her?
0:16:21 > 0:16:23No, you shouldn't take her up a bacon sarnie.
0:16:23 > 0:16:25She did have a late night.
0:16:25 > 0:16:30She's in trouble and we're all tiptoeing around her like she's Mariah-bloody-Carey.
0:16:30 > 0:16:32You're right. You are absolutely right.
0:16:32 > 0:16:35I'm going to go and sort this out. We might have looked in her drawer
0:16:35 > 0:16:39and taken a little peek at her private emails, but what she's done is off the scale.
0:16:39 > 0:16:40Yeah, WAY off the scale.
0:16:40 > 0:16:42I'm her dad, for God's sake!
0:16:42 > 0:16:44Her dad, who's thinking about her welfare.
0:16:44 > 0:16:49Exactly. Exactly. That's...that... I'm going to go and sort this out.
0:16:49 > 0:16:52You sure you don't want a...?
0:16:53 > 0:16:56- Chloe?- Yeah, Dad?
0:16:56 > 0:17:00- I think we should have a little talk about last night.- What about it? - Turning your phone off.
0:17:00 > 0:17:02- The battery died.- Oh.
0:17:02 > 0:17:04- Staying out late. - I was at Lucy's.
0:17:06 > 0:17:10- I don't think so. - Why not? Could it be because you were in my room?!
0:17:10 > 0:17:14You violated my privacy, you trampled my trust because you were in my room!
0:17:15 > 0:17:18- No, I wasn't. - Yes, you were!
0:17:20 > 0:17:24All right, I was. But it wasn't just me. It was your mum, and Steve and Tommy. It was your granddad!
0:17:24 > 0:17:29- Your granddad was the one who came up first!- Oh, Dad, move! - Granddad started this off...
0:17:29 > 0:17:32Really struck gold with this lot.
0:17:32 > 0:17:34Cannon and Ball...
0:17:35 > 0:17:36Tess Daly...
0:17:37 > 0:17:40Samir Rashid. He's well Stuka.
0:17:40 > 0:17:43- Who? - Deirdre Barlow's Moroccan husband.
0:17:44 > 0:17:48- ..No right to go into my room! - This is my house, I'll go into any room I want.
0:17:48 > 0:17:52- Well, why don't you go into the toilet and flush your head down the bog?- Well, maybe I will.
0:17:52 > 0:17:57- That's it! I'm finished with this family. I'm disowned.- You can't disown yourself.- Fine! I resign!
0:17:57 > 0:18:00Whoa, whoa, hold it right there, young lady, this has gone far enough.
0:18:00 > 0:18:04- I'm not chasing you to any more dodgy flash parties. - What?- That's right.
0:18:04 > 0:18:07- We know all about it. - You actually went?
0:18:08 > 0:18:10Yes, me and Tommy...
0:18:11 > 0:18:13What'd you mean "actually"?
0:18:13 > 0:18:16I was at Lucy's house, like I said.
0:18:17 > 0:18:20- That's weird.- What?
0:18:20 > 0:18:22- You're online.- No, I'm not.
0:18:22 > 0:18:24You are. Your name's just come up, look.
0:18:24 > 0:18:28Don't believe it. Has someone signed on with my name?
0:18:28 > 0:18:29No!
0:18:29 > 0:18:32Yeah. Message them "What are you doing?"
0:18:32 > 0:18:34It's probably my little brother or something.
0:18:37 > 0:18:39No answer.
0:18:39 > 0:18:40Put "Are you there?"
0:18:45 > 0:18:48"Yeah, just hanging, you know, chillaxing."
0:18:48 > 0:18:50Oh, my God, it's my dad!
0:18:50 > 0:18:53How do you know?
0:18:53 > 0:18:55- It's him. I know it! - Should we sign off?
0:18:55 > 0:19:00No way! Budge up. I'm going to mess with his head.
0:19:01 > 0:19:02Lucy is Wild@heart.
0:19:03 > 0:19:05I knew it!
0:19:05 > 0:19:08No, no. There was an address, in Rusholme.
0:19:08 > 0:19:10And a...and a password to get in.
0:19:10 > 0:19:12A password? No!
0:19:12 > 0:19:14Was it something along the lines of... Cheeky-Bum?
0:19:14 > 0:19:18- Cheeky-Bum! Chee... That was it, weren't it?- Cheeky...
0:19:19 > 0:19:22Did you like it when you got there? Cos I thought you might.
0:19:22 > 0:19:24It certainly was an experience, yeah.
0:19:29 > 0:19:32Hey, quite a celebrity clientele.
0:19:32 > 0:19:35Oh, yeah?
0:19:35 > 0:19:36Hey, Liam. Cannon and Ball.
0:19:36 > 0:19:41"To Mehmet, you've got a great sense of hummus."
0:19:41 > 0:19:44That's very clever. Very clever indeed.
0:19:44 > 0:19:46Table for two, gentlemen?
0:19:46 > 0:19:49Er, no. No, we're more interested in your other business.
0:19:49 > 0:19:51Ah, you want a suit altered?
0:19:51 > 0:19:53No, come on. Your other business.
0:19:53 > 0:19:55You know... Cheeky-Bum?
0:19:55 > 0:19:57Pardon?
0:19:57 > 0:19:59Cheeky-Bum.
0:19:59 > 0:20:03- Why did you just wink at me?- Oh, come on, we're not here for the dolmades.
0:20:03 > 0:20:05Cheeky-Bum.
0:20:05 > 0:20:08Gentlemen, I'm afraid I do not appreciate being called "Cheeky Bum".
0:20:08 > 0:20:11Look, mate, let's just stop messing about, yeah?
0:20:11 > 0:20:14See, I'm pretty sure you're Wild@heart.
0:20:14 > 0:20:18- What did you just say? - I said, you're Wild@heart.
0:20:18 > 0:20:19You've got a cobra on your arse.
0:20:19 > 0:20:22Right. Both of you, out!
0:20:22 > 0:20:26Oh, I get it. I get the picture. You want to hang out all night with underage girls, is that it?
0:20:26 > 0:20:30- I have never been spoken to before like this.- Listen, mate,
0:20:30 > 0:20:32we just want some information, that's all.
0:20:32 > 0:20:35You know what? You've got a lovely place here.
0:20:35 > 0:20:38It's very nice.
0:20:38 > 0:20:41Be a shame if, you know, say, something were to happen to it.
0:20:46 > 0:20:47Oops!
0:20:49 > 0:20:52Mint Imperials. Hard to replace.
0:20:53 > 0:20:55Why don't you...
0:20:55 > 0:20:59Why don't you just tell us where the action is?
0:20:59 > 0:21:00Faruk?
0:21:00 > 0:21:02SPEAKS IN TURKISH
0:21:02 > 0:21:04Oh...
0:21:04 > 0:21:07Whoa, whoa, whoa, no need to get your curly sword out.
0:21:08 > 0:21:12Yeah, and then it all went a bit "Midnight Express".
0:21:12 > 0:21:15Two of you against a waiter? That's hardly fair.
0:21:15 > 0:21:17We actually could've done with a few more blokes.
0:21:23 > 0:21:25All right, all right, calm down...
0:21:25 > 0:21:27- Whoa!- Hold him there!
0:21:27 > 0:21:30Tommy! Tommy he's got... Tommy, Tommy!
0:21:30 > 0:21:33Tommy! I think we've got the wrong place. I'm sorry.
0:21:33 > 0:21:37I'll get your pictures back. I will. Sorry. Please, let me go.
0:21:39 > 0:21:41Sounds like you could've done with a bit of help.
0:21:41 > 0:21:43Yeah, a bit of help from me brother would've been nice.
0:21:43 > 0:21:46What? No, I was busy nicking stuff.
0:21:46 > 0:21:50- We're taking them back, by the way.- Yeah, most of them. We'll just keep Gordon Burns.
0:21:50 > 0:21:52We're taking them all back, Tommy.
0:21:52 > 0:21:57So you actually believe I'd go all the way across Manchester for some weird party?
0:21:57 > 0:21:59How stupid do you think I am?
0:21:59 > 0:22:00Well, now you're asking.
0:22:00 > 0:22:04Look, Chloe, we remember what it was like when we were teenagers.
0:22:04 > 0:22:09Yeah, and just because you missed your GCSEs to watch Happy Mondays in a field, doesn't mean I will.
0:22:09 > 0:22:11It was the Inspiral Carpets.
0:22:11 > 0:22:16Look, maybe, just maybe on this one occasion
0:22:16 > 0:22:20your father and I may've been slightly in the...wrong.
0:22:20 > 0:22:21Pardon?
0:22:21 > 0:22:24Yeah, we, erm... we were wrong, sorry.
0:22:24 > 0:22:25Didn't hear that.
0:22:26 > 0:22:28Sorry, sorry.
0:22:28 > 0:22:31You have to hold your head up when you're talking.
0:22:31 > 0:22:34We're sorry we went into your room, all right? God!
0:22:34 > 0:22:36I suppose that counts as an apology. Mum?
0:22:36 > 0:22:39- Get lost.- OK.
0:22:44 > 0:22:48Have you looked at her pupils! I told you she was on drugs.
0:22:48 > 0:22:50Oh, leave it, Dad.
0:22:50 > 0:22:54Hiya, Jim. How was this morning's meeting with King Colin?
0:22:54 > 0:22:56No! You went to meet Colin Bell? Why didn't you tell me?
0:22:56 > 0:22:59Sorry, love, I didn't think you'd be interested.
0:22:59 > 0:23:01- What does he think of the England team?- Does he fancy Cheryl Cole?
0:23:01 > 0:23:03I don't want to talk about it.
0:23:06 > 0:23:09Can I help you at all, sir?
0:23:09 > 0:23:11I'm just waiting for someone.
0:23:12 > 0:23:15We usually ask minicab drivers to wait outside.
0:23:15 > 0:23:18No, I was hoping to see Mr Bell.
0:23:18 > 0:23:20Oh, Mr Bell's meeting you?
0:23:20 > 0:23:22Well, I don't know. He might be.
0:23:22 > 0:23:23Mr Bell!
0:23:26 > 0:23:28Hi, are you Jim?
0:23:29 > 0:23:33- Yeah.- Oh, that was a really sweet letter that you sent me. Thank you so much.- Right.
0:23:33 > 0:23:39I didn't understand the references to the 1969 FA Cup Final, but it was really sweet, nonetheless.
0:23:39 > 0:23:41Very glad you liked it.
0:23:41 > 0:23:43Will you excuse me a moment?
0:23:43 > 0:23:48- Who the bloody hell's this? - It's Andy Bell, sir. From Erasure -
0:23:48 > 0:23:50- the seminal electro-synth pop duo. - Right.
0:23:50 > 0:23:52About half them words made sense.
0:23:52 > 0:23:57How's about that drink? Come on, I'll tell you about our new album.
0:24:00 > 0:24:05So it wasn't Colin Bell after all. It was Andy Bell from Erasure!
0:24:05 > 0:24:06What team does he play for?
0:24:06 > 0:24:09Let's not get into that!
0:24:12 > 0:24:17- How can you get them two mixed up? - I know! It's almost impossible, you'd think.
0:24:17 > 0:24:20Oh, I see... I get the picture.
0:24:20 > 0:24:25You tried to humiliate me just because I once got a little bit tiddly in your hotel.
0:24:25 > 0:24:27Well, thank you very much.
0:24:27 > 0:24:30Oh, come on, it's just a bit of fun. Now we're even.
0:24:30 > 0:24:35- Actually, I ended up having quite a nice time.- No!
0:24:36 > 0:24:39- How long was you with him? - Couple of hours, you know.
0:24:43 > 0:24:47- Well, what did you talk about? - Football. Music.
0:24:48 > 0:24:51He's moving in a more soulful direction these days,
0:24:51 > 0:24:53less chart-oriented.
0:24:55 > 0:24:57Erm, did I leave my specs in there?
0:24:59 > 0:25:02Oh! That's a belter.
0:25:04 > 0:25:06Ooh, hello? Where'd you think you're going?
0:25:06 > 0:25:08Still don't trust me then?
0:25:08 > 0:25:12We're just asking. And by the way, trust has to be earned.
0:25:12 > 0:25:14But you've already admitted that YOU were in the wrong.
0:25:14 > 0:25:18- Why'd you always have to be so suspicious?- Oh, I don't know...Miss McVitie?
0:25:18 > 0:25:23- Excuse me?- Ooh, yes. Miss Chloe McVitie?
0:25:23 > 0:25:25- That's not mine.- Ooh, it's not?
0:25:25 > 0:25:27- Well, it's not my name. - It's got your picture on it.
0:25:28 > 0:25:33Oh, it was a joke, OK. Everyone at school's got them. I haven't even used mine yet.
0:25:33 > 0:25:36Yet?! Yes, that's the word that scares us.
0:25:36 > 0:25:40Yeah, keep it! Be nice for you to have a driving licence without any points on it.
0:25:40 > 0:25:41Oh, ho ho!
0:25:41 > 0:25:43You can just hold on right there.
0:25:43 > 0:25:46This isn't just about the fake driving licence.
0:25:46 > 0:25:50- What do you mean?- Well, this wasn't the only thing I found.
0:25:50 > 0:25:55- What else did you find? - You know exactly what I found.
0:25:56 > 0:25:59That's not even mine. I was just holding it for Lucy.
0:26:05 > 0:26:09Your mother and I are so disappointed in you, aren't we?
0:26:09 > 0:26:12Disappointed doesn't even begin to describe how we feel.
0:26:12 > 0:26:16I'm so sorry. It'll never happen again, I promise.
0:26:16 > 0:26:19Oh, no? Well, you get up them stairs and you get that thing,
0:26:19 > 0:26:24and you bring it right down here and then, maybe, we can put this thing behind us,
0:26:24 > 0:26:27and then maybe I can look at you like I used to look at you.
0:26:27 > 0:26:28Like the daughter I loved.
0:26:30 > 0:26:31OK.
0:26:39 > 0:26:42- Scared the crap out of her. - Yeah, you did.- Felt fantastic!
0:26:42 > 0:26:45- Hey, what do you think the thing is?- Don't know.
0:26:46 > 0:26:48Find out in a minute.
0:26:49 > 0:26:51Oops!
0:26:53 > 0:26:56- Chloe!- Chloe! Grab it!
0:26:56 > 0:26:59Listen, there is no need for you to do this.
0:26:59 > 0:27:01I can hang them myself.
0:27:01 > 0:27:05Oh, not at all, Mehmet. We've put you through enough inconvenience already.
0:27:05 > 0:27:08I hope the, er, Mint Imperials meet your approval.
0:27:08 > 0:27:11Good, so we can put this behind us, yeah?
0:27:11 > 0:27:15- Yes, I suppose.- Great. Ciao.
0:27:19 > 0:27:21Who's this?
0:27:22 > 0:27:24Where is my Gordon Burns?
0:27:24 > 0:27:25Faruk?
0:27:31 > 0:27:36# I know it's going to be all right
0:27:39 > 0:27:43# Forever, I'll be by your side
0:27:45 > 0:27:49# For everyone you love
0:27:49 > 0:27:51# For everyone you feel
0:27:52 > 0:27:56# I'm never giving up
0:27:56 > 0:27:57# Until the dream is real #