Episode 1

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0:00:19 > 0:00:21CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:00:25 > 0:00:28Hello and welcome to Insert Name Here, where we find out

0:00:28 > 0:00:31everything you never needed to know about a group of people

0:00:31 > 0:00:34with just one thing in common - they've all got the same name.

0:00:34 > 0:00:36Joining me are six of my favourite people,

0:00:36 > 0:00:38each bearing their own unique moniker.

0:00:38 > 0:00:40Please welcome Kate Williams, Stephen Mangan

0:00:40 > 0:00:42and team captain Josh Widdecombe.

0:00:42 > 0:00:44And on the other side, Roisin Conaty, Rob Beckett

0:00:44 > 0:00:46and their captain, Richard Osman.

0:00:46 > 0:00:51CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:00:55 > 0:00:58Wonderful collection of names on the panel tonight,

0:00:58 > 0:00:59couldn't be happier, but Kate,

0:00:59 > 0:01:02I just want to ask you about your daughter's name.

0:01:02 > 0:01:05Your daughter has, well, a commonplace name, hasn't she?

0:01:05 > 0:01:09Yes, well, I'm called one of the most popular names in the country,

0:01:09 > 0:01:11- Katherine, so...- Bragging.- Yes.

0:01:11 > 0:01:14So I thought I'd call her something similar.

0:01:14 > 0:01:16So I thought I'd call her Persephone.

0:01:16 > 0:01:18- Sorry?- Persephone.

0:01:18 > 0:01:21As she was born, she was just there, beautiful and innocent,

0:01:21 > 0:01:24did you say, "I want to destroy you."?

0:01:24 > 0:01:27There were 38 other children called Persephone in 2011,

0:01:27 > 0:01:28so I've got to hunt them down.

0:01:28 > 0:01:30- And kill them?- And kill them?

0:01:31 > 0:01:34I have a very specific set of skills.

0:01:34 > 0:01:38The reason... People like you are killing off the name Gary.

0:01:38 > 0:01:40- No Garys are being born. - That's true.

0:01:40 > 0:01:43They're dying out because of Persephones.

0:01:43 > 0:01:45- Persephone is a girl, isn't she? - Yes.

0:01:45 > 0:01:48You weren't toying with Gary, that would have been even worse.

0:01:48 > 0:01:52I think Garys will take what they can get at this point.

0:01:52 > 0:01:55Josh, you have the shortest name. Are you hoping for a Joshua?

0:01:55 > 0:01:56Don't need to be mean about it.

0:01:56 > 0:01:59Rob's shorter than Josh, that's one shorter.

0:01:59 > 0:02:01Maths isn't my work strong point.

0:02:01 > 0:02:03- And what about Sue?- Yeah.

0:02:08 > 0:02:11What I'd like to do is stamp my authority

0:02:11 > 0:02:14really early on in the proceedings.

0:02:14 > 0:02:16So everyone knows I'm a safe pair of hands.

0:02:16 > 0:02:19I think the question you meant to ask was,

0:02:19 > 0:02:22Josh, you've got the joint third shortest name on the panel today.

0:02:22 > 0:02:25Richard, what do you have for us name-wise tonight?

0:02:25 > 0:02:28I made a list of my ten favourite celebrities ever.

0:02:28 > 0:02:31Chuckle Bros number one and two, of course.

0:02:31 > 0:02:34But there's only one name that was on my top ten celebrities twice,

0:02:34 > 0:02:35which was Kim.

0:02:35 > 0:02:39In eighth place, there was Kim Il-Sung of North Korea.

0:02:39 > 0:02:43- Big fan of. And number three, Kim Kardashian.- I know.

0:02:43 > 0:02:48I am a very, very big fan of whatever it is that she does.

0:02:49 > 0:02:53Well, I'm really sorry, we're not going to be discussing Kim Kardashian

0:02:53 > 0:02:56and her massive arse, or Kanye West, as he is better known.

0:02:56 > 0:03:01Tonight's name is the name of Britain's best-ever explorer,

0:03:01 > 0:03:04it's the name of my favourite member of the Saturdays

0:03:04 > 0:03:06and it's a shorthand for a processed meat sausage.

0:03:06 > 0:03:09Yes, tonight's name is Frank.

0:03:15 > 0:03:18Our guests are going to be talking about people called Frank

0:03:18 > 0:03:21and that includes Francis, Frankie and Fanny

0:03:21 > 0:03:24Does anybody know any Franks? Do you know any Franks, Roisin?

0:03:24 > 0:03:27Yes, I do, actually. The first boy I ever kissed was called Frank.

0:03:27 > 0:03:30And I can't remember his second name.

0:03:30 > 0:03:33- Was it Sinatra?- Yeah, that was it. - You'd have remembered, wouldn't you?

0:03:33 > 0:03:36I'd have remembered it because he'd have been so old,

0:03:36 > 0:03:38I'd have avoided it.

0:03:38 > 0:03:40Yeah, I kissed a boy called Frank in Ireland.

0:03:40 > 0:03:42Hello, Frank - I can't remember your surname,

0:03:42 > 0:03:44but we had a nice time in the woods.

0:03:46 > 0:03:48- I was nine.- You were nine and you were in the woods?

0:03:48 > 0:03:51We decided to go to the woods, we lived near woods.

0:03:51 > 0:03:53- Is the woods weird?- Yes.- Yes.

0:03:53 > 0:03:55Although dating in the woods

0:03:55 > 0:03:58is where the name Tinder came from, I believe.

0:03:58 > 0:04:02- Do you know any Franks, Steve? - My youngest son is called Frank.

0:04:02 > 0:04:05How about that? And he is quite frank.

0:04:05 > 0:04:06What do you mean - like, honest?

0:04:06 > 0:04:10I said to him yesterday morning, "Brush your teeth." And he went,

0:04:10 > 0:04:15"OK. But I am the future and one day you will be the loser."

0:04:19 > 0:04:23With that in mind, let's get on with the show. Time to pick a Frank.

0:04:23 > 0:04:26Our panellists choose a category and behind each category

0:04:26 > 0:04:29lurks a famous Frank which the teams must try and win.

0:04:29 > 0:04:32At the end of the show, the team with the most Franks get the privilege

0:04:32 > 0:04:34of naming the greatest Frank of all time.

0:04:34 > 0:04:35Josh, who would you like in this lot?

0:04:42 > 0:04:44I quite like the idea of a secret Frank.

0:04:44 > 0:04:46- Oh, my goodness.- Anne Frank?

0:04:49 > 0:04:53Let's start a comedy show about Franks with Anne Frank.

0:04:53 > 0:04:57You can't talk about Franks and go "Secret Frank"

0:04:57 > 0:05:00and not the most secret Frank of them all.

0:05:00 > 0:05:02All right, you've chosen Secret Frank.

0:05:02 > 0:05:04This is Frances Ethel Gumm,

0:05:04 > 0:05:08also known as musical star of stage and screen, Judy Garland.

0:05:08 > 0:05:11Let's have a look at Judy's stats.

0:05:21 > 0:05:25By which we mean dead. Has anyone here not seen Wizard Of Oz?

0:05:25 > 0:05:27Josh!

0:05:27 > 0:05:30Of course I haven't seen The Wizard Of Oz.

0:05:30 > 0:05:33Do yourselves a favour and watch it. It's really good.

0:05:33 > 0:05:35It's based on a true story.

0:05:37 > 0:05:41Are we not pushing our luck a bit with Judy Garland as a Frank?

0:05:41 > 0:05:43It's a bit worrying for the longevity of this show

0:05:43 > 0:05:46that the first person we've chosen doesn't even have the right name.

0:05:49 > 0:05:52So she's known for playing Dorothy, her stage name is Judy,

0:05:52 > 0:05:54but she was born Frances Gumm.

0:05:54 > 0:05:56I tell you what, if you were born Frances Gumm,

0:05:56 > 0:05:58you'd think at least it would stick.

0:06:03 > 0:06:07- What did studio chief Louis B Mayer call Judy?- "The little hunchback".

0:06:07 > 0:06:11Kate, let me have a word with you about a comedy panel show.

0:06:11 > 0:06:13Sorry, sorry, sorry.

0:06:13 > 0:06:14Sorry. I don't know.

0:06:14 > 0:06:18I know you come from the world of history, which is about facts.

0:06:18 > 0:06:21What we like to do in our world is play a little bit.

0:06:21 > 0:06:24- Oh, no! - No, I want to win, keep going.

0:06:24 > 0:06:27Anyone apart from Kate know

0:06:27 > 0:06:29what she was lovingly referred to by the studio chief?

0:06:29 > 0:06:32- The little hunchback. - The little hunchback.

0:06:38 > 0:06:42How did the movie studio help Judy cope with working long hours

0:06:42 > 0:06:47- at the age of 16? - Just whisper it to me.- I don't know.

0:06:47 > 0:06:51Did they give her a pair of shoes that let her go home so she didn't have to commute?

0:06:51 > 0:06:53They give her some drugs.

0:06:53 > 0:06:57- Cocaine. - They did, they gave her drugs.

0:06:57 > 0:06:59That's how we roll on Bake Off.

0:07:01 > 0:07:03You think that's flour under Mary's nose?

0:07:05 > 0:07:07Judy said, "They'd give us pills to keep us on our feet

0:07:07 > 0:07:11"long after we were exhausted, then they'd take us to the studio hospital

0:07:11 > 0:07:13"and knock us out with sleeping pills.

0:07:13 > 0:07:16"Then after four hours, they'd wake us up and give us pep pills again

0:07:16 > 0:07:19"so we could work 72 hours in a row."

0:07:19 > 0:07:21I'm not a parent - is that good for kids or not?

0:07:21 > 0:07:22It's fine, they love it.

0:07:22 > 0:07:25It's slightly better than calling them Persephone.

0:07:30 > 0:07:33Of course, Judy will always be best known for The Wizard Of Oz.

0:07:33 > 0:07:35According to the Library of Congress,

0:07:35 > 0:07:38it's the most watched film of all time.

0:07:38 > 0:07:40A surprisingly dangerous film set to be on, though,

0:07:40 > 0:07:43so let's play Lethal Movie Fun.

0:07:49 > 0:07:51First up, why was it dangerous for the Tin Man?

0:07:51 > 0:07:57Silver paint, did it asphyxiate him? Was it toxic? Did he get spots?

0:07:57 > 0:08:00Was it because every Wednesday was recycling day?

0:08:00 > 0:08:04Did they get his costume off every night with a massive can opener?

0:08:04 > 0:08:06You were right the first time, actually,

0:08:06 > 0:08:09when you were talking about his paint.

0:08:09 > 0:08:14- Oh!- It was made of lethal aluminium powder.

0:08:14 > 0:08:17I mean, if that's the name of it, don't use it.

0:08:17 > 0:08:19It was so bad, the first actor cast in the role -

0:08:19 > 0:08:22and that's a clue to how dangerous it was -

0:08:22 > 0:08:26Buddy Ebsen, suffered such an extreme reaction to the aluminium dust

0:08:26 > 0:08:28he was hospitalised and replaced.

0:08:28 > 0:08:31So it turned out it wasn't a heart he needed, it was an ambulance.

0:08:31 > 0:08:32Jack Haley took over the role

0:08:32 > 0:08:35and the make-up artist just switched to an aluminium paste.

0:08:35 > 0:08:39Incidentally, he wasn't told what happened to Ebsen,

0:08:39 > 0:08:43- who used a respirator for the rest of his life.- No way!

0:08:43 > 0:08:46But he did get the Darth Vader role, so...

0:08:46 > 0:08:49- How did the scarecrow suffer? - He smoked.

0:08:51 > 0:08:56- Is that toxic brown paint on his nose?- He's got paint on him.

0:08:56 > 0:08:59- Was the allergic to hessian?- Glue. - That is absolutely right.

0:08:59 > 0:09:03Ray Bolger, who played the Scarecrow, ended up having permanent lines

0:09:03 > 0:09:07on his face due to the glue on the rubber mask.

0:09:07 > 0:09:10- Imagine if the film hadn't been a hit.- Awful.

0:09:10 > 0:09:13What was dangerous about this charming scene here

0:09:13 > 0:09:16with Dorothy and gang in a field of poppies?

0:09:19 > 0:09:22Unusual weather we're having, ain't it?

0:09:22 > 0:09:24Were those the woods you were in, Roisin?

0:09:24 > 0:09:26That's Frank.

0:09:27 > 0:09:31- What was dangerous about that scene? - The fake snow?- Asbestos.

0:09:31 > 0:09:34Absolutely right. The snow was actually

0:09:34 > 0:09:38carcinogenic asbestos fibres raining down on them.

0:09:38 > 0:09:41The stuff that would close a school for a year

0:09:41 > 0:09:44was liberally poured onto the cast's heads.

0:09:44 > 0:09:46Unsurprisingly, Judy struggled with drink,

0:09:46 > 0:09:48drugs and mood swings in later life.

0:09:48 > 0:09:52How did she keep her spirits up when she was a really low?

0:09:52 > 0:09:55Looked at the faces of her co-stars from The Wizard Of Oz?

0:09:57 > 0:10:00Imagine the reunion 30 years on.

0:10:02 > 0:10:04It would be like a Halloween party.

0:10:04 > 0:10:05Bring back X-Men.

0:10:07 > 0:10:10Do you know the worst thing? If it had been Anne Frank,

0:10:10 > 0:10:12this would have been less bleak.

0:10:14 > 0:10:16She actually used to keep a scrapbook

0:10:16 > 0:10:19of awful events that happened to other people.

0:10:19 > 0:10:23And when she felt low, she would just dip into it.

0:10:23 > 0:10:27I thought I was the only person who did that.

0:10:32 > 0:10:35You may have ruined one of my all-time favourite films.

0:10:35 > 0:10:36I'm so sorry.

0:10:36 > 0:10:38But I am definitely going to watch it.

0:10:40 > 0:10:43It's time now to play for the big one, for the Frank.

0:10:43 > 0:10:46Frances Gumm, aka Judy Garland.

0:10:46 > 0:10:52In 1954, designer Michael Wolff made a black velvet dress for a premiere.

0:10:52 > 0:10:55What secret touch did he add for Judy?

0:10:55 > 0:10:59- Binding her boobs, because it... - He bound her boobs?

0:10:59 > 0:11:03It's gone very University Challenge. Lots of conferring.

0:11:03 > 0:11:06It's a bit unfair on Richard because you've got an historian

0:11:06 > 0:11:07and he's got me.

0:11:07 > 0:11:09And me.

0:11:11 > 0:11:13At the beginning of this, when you said Wizard Of Oz,

0:11:13 > 0:11:16Roisin turned to me and said, "We're going to ace this.

0:11:16 > 0:11:18"I know everything about The Wizard Of Oz."

0:11:18 > 0:11:20Thus far, we've yet to see it.

0:11:20 > 0:11:23But we'll make quite a strong finish.

0:11:23 > 0:11:26- I'll give you a clue, it's an accessory.- Hip flask.

0:11:26 > 0:11:28He put two grams of speed in the armpit.

0:11:28 > 0:11:30I'll give it to Richard cos he's the closest.

0:11:30 > 0:11:33He designed a matching fur muff that contained a secret pocket

0:11:33 > 0:11:34big enough for a flask of vodka.

0:11:34 > 0:11:36And you said hip flask.

0:11:36 > 0:11:40So, well done, Richard, you win the first Frank of the day.

0:11:42 > 0:11:45Right, Richard, it's your turn to pick the category.

0:11:49 > 0:11:51We'll go for sporting Franks,

0:11:51 > 0:11:53in the hope it's not Frank Lampard.

0:11:53 > 0:11:56I am personally over the moon to reveal

0:11:56 > 0:11:57it's footballing great

0:11:57 > 0:12:00Frank Lampard OBE.

0:12:00 > 0:12:02Let's look at his stats here.

0:12:10 > 0:12:12Frank spent 13 years playing for Chelsea,

0:12:12 > 0:12:15becoming their all-time leading goal scorer.

0:12:15 > 0:12:17You must have seen him, Richard,

0:12:17 > 0:12:19score quite a few as a Fulham supporter.

0:12:19 > 0:12:20Against your team.

0:12:20 > 0:12:23You know what, for a Chelsea player, he's all right. I don't mind.

0:12:23 > 0:12:25I've met him once, he's a nice bloke.

0:12:25 > 0:12:27- He seems that way. - I've seen him at the bar.

0:12:27 > 0:12:31Sorry, has this turned into Frank Lampard, This Is Your Life?

0:12:31 > 0:12:35So what does Frank think he's unbeatable at?

0:12:35 > 0:12:37Disco.

0:12:37 > 0:12:39- Hungry Hippos. - Tipping machine.- No.

0:12:39 > 0:12:40Noughts and crosses.

0:12:40 > 0:12:44- No. You put coins into a... - Is it that thing you put a coin in?

0:12:44 > 0:12:46Does he do that thing where you balance it on a lemon

0:12:46 > 0:12:48but no-one can do it?

0:12:48 > 0:12:52I don't know what games were you playing in Devon when you were young.

0:12:52 > 0:12:54- When you make a row.- Connect 4.

0:12:54 > 0:12:57- Connect- 4. I don't know how posh you are, Sue,

0:12:57 > 0:12:59but I've never played it with real money.

0:12:59 > 0:13:03He absolutely thinks he's boss at Connect 4.

0:13:03 > 0:13:06A game of strategy and skill...

0:13:06 > 0:13:09- ..is chess. - I'll tell you what I'm like.

0:13:09 > 0:13:11If the game goes away from me, I'll flip it.

0:13:13 > 0:13:14Happy Christmas.

0:13:14 > 0:13:16LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

0:13:18 > 0:13:20I'm a ruthless Connect 4 player.

0:13:20 > 0:13:22Frank's IQ is over 150.

0:13:22 > 0:13:25For context, Einstein was in the 160s.

0:13:25 > 0:13:29- He's got an A star in Latin. - A star?- That's pretty good.

0:13:29 > 0:13:32Do you know Latin? Do you know that, Kate?

0:13:32 > 0:13:34Amo, amas, amat, amamus, amatis, amant.

0:13:34 > 0:13:36We don't need to know all of the Latin now.

0:13:36 > 0:13:38Did you just cast a spell?

0:13:38 > 0:13:40We're going to win, we are going to win.

0:13:40 > 0:13:42During his last years at Chelsea,

0:13:42 > 0:13:44what was Frank doing in his hotel late at night?

0:13:44 > 0:13:48- Was he writing his children's books? - He was writing his children's books.

0:13:48 > 0:13:50- Are they about football? - They're all about football.

0:13:50 > 0:13:53Oh, change the record, Frank, come on, mate.

0:13:53 > 0:13:55Sitting over there with your sitcom, Josh.

0:14:00 > 0:14:03Since October 2009, Frank's been in a relationship

0:14:03 > 0:14:05with the wonderful Christine Bleakley.

0:14:05 > 0:14:08- Where did they meet? - At the Pride of Britain Awards.

0:14:08 > 0:14:10Fact, Kate!

0:14:13 > 0:14:15It's like I've brought Rain Man.

0:14:17 > 0:14:19Is it opposite to Rain Man?

0:14:21 > 0:14:23According to Christine, what's Frank's worst habit?

0:14:23 > 0:14:25He does it with his toes. What does he do with them?

0:14:25 > 0:14:27Pick his toes, bite his toenails.

0:14:27 > 0:14:30He bites his toenails and leaves the droppings on the table.

0:14:30 > 0:14:35The main question is, how the hell does he bite his own toenails?

0:14:35 > 0:14:38If he can do that, why is he wasting his time doing that?

0:14:42 > 0:14:46OK, this one is now for the Frank, Richard's team.

0:14:46 > 0:14:48According to the Daily Mirror, in 2015,

0:14:48 > 0:14:51what was Frank offered the chance to do?

0:14:51 > 0:14:53To put something back.

0:14:53 > 0:14:55To donate to a sperm bank?

0:14:55 > 0:14:57Think of a public role.

0:14:57 > 0:14:58To be Prime Minister.

0:14:58 > 0:15:01I will give it to Josh, actually, because it was political.

0:15:01 > 0:15:04He was offered the chance to stand as Conservative candidate

0:15:04 > 0:15:05for Kensington and Chelsea.

0:15:05 > 0:15:08- Is he a Tory?- He is a Tory.- He is.

0:15:08 > 0:15:10LAUGHTER

0:15:10 > 0:15:13Well done, you win the Frank. Well done, Josh.

0:15:18 > 0:15:21So the next one is between you. Josh, who are you going to pick?

0:15:21 > 0:15:26- Shall we call with Heroic? - Excellent.

0:15:26 > 0:15:30You have chosen England's greatest explorer and ruff enthusiast,

0:15:30 > 0:15:31Sir Francis Drake.

0:15:31 > 0:15:33Let's have a look at his stats.

0:15:43 > 0:15:47Born around 1540 in Tavistock, Devon. That's down your way, isn't it?

0:15:47 > 0:15:49It is. I learnt about him at school.

0:15:49 > 0:15:53You modelled your hair on him, didn't you? Sorry!

0:15:53 > 0:15:57I am one of the few people who takes a photo of Sir Francis Drake

0:15:57 > 0:15:58into the barber's.

0:15:58 > 0:16:00Didn't he famously finish his...?

0:16:00 > 0:16:03They said, "The Spanish Armada is coming", and then he said,

0:16:03 > 0:16:06"I'm going to finish my game of bowls before we attack them."

0:16:06 > 0:16:07Is that right?

0:16:07 > 0:16:10That is the story, but we don't know how real...

0:16:10 > 0:16:13- I am on your team! - I know, I am just saying...

0:16:13 > 0:16:17The story is right but it was meant to signify how relaxed he was,

0:16:17 > 0:16:18how he just thought,

0:16:18 > 0:16:22"The Spanish, they can't get me because I'm supercool."

0:16:22 > 0:16:26No-one playing bowls has ever been supercool.

0:16:26 > 0:16:30Before he sailed around the world, what line of business was Drake in?

0:16:30 > 0:16:32Hip-hop?

0:16:32 > 0:16:34- Slaver, was he a slave trader? - He was a slaver.

0:16:34 > 0:16:37- Different times, don't write in. - What do you mean, "different times"?

0:16:37 > 0:16:38Are you defending him?

0:16:38 > 0:16:41No, I'm saying, don't write in, it was a different time.

0:16:41 > 0:16:42Just because I said the word slavery,

0:16:42 > 0:16:45doesn't mean I think it is a good thing.

0:16:45 > 0:16:47Sounds like you do, Sue, to be fair.

0:16:47 > 0:16:50I can't believe Sue Perkins endorses slavery.

0:16:50 > 0:16:51LAUGHTER

0:16:51 > 0:16:55The awful slave-monger Drake returned from his grand voyage

0:16:55 > 0:16:58with his ship packed full of plundered Spanish silver and treasure.

0:16:58 > 0:17:01The Queen got half and paid off her entire foreign debt.

0:17:01 > 0:17:05So if George Osborne is watching... George Osborne isn't watching.

0:17:05 > 0:17:07He is always watching!

0:17:12 > 0:17:17- How did the Queen treat Drake when he returned?- She knighted him.

0:17:17 > 0:17:19She did, that is FACT.

0:17:19 > 0:17:22She didn't knight him, actually, she got the French...

0:17:22 > 0:17:24We got it right, stop!

0:17:24 > 0:17:29Big favourite, as we know, of Elizabeth I. Not sure why.

0:17:29 > 0:17:33Here's Elizabeth. Here's Drake. Basically, Elizabeth in drag.

0:17:33 > 0:17:35- STEPHEN:- They've both got their head in a Viennetta.

0:17:37 > 0:17:42- Gingers stick together. - That is slightly spooking me out.

0:17:42 > 0:17:44That was quite sinister, the way you said that.

0:17:44 > 0:17:46Like someone had wronged you.

0:17:46 > 0:17:49Seriously, they've done surveys and gingers are the only people

0:17:49 > 0:17:51who don't go out with people who look like them.

0:17:51 > 0:17:53Everyone goes out with someone who looks...

0:17:53 > 0:17:56- Can you say gingers? Are you allowed to?- I'm allowed to say it.- OK.

0:17:56 > 0:17:58Are you reclaiming the word ginger?

0:17:58 > 0:18:00- ROISIN:- What are you saying, Kate?

0:18:00 > 0:18:03People tend to date and marry people who look like them.

0:18:03 > 0:18:06Apart from gingers and albinos, the only people who don't.

0:18:06 > 0:18:10That's not the case or we would be in a semidetached in Chatham.

0:18:16 > 0:18:18Richard and Sue, you're not far off!

0:18:20 > 0:18:24If I may be so bold, you and Kate are not a million miles away.

0:18:26 > 0:18:29Are all you six going to pair off at the end of the night?

0:18:29 > 0:18:34So, time to play now for the Frank. This is the big one.

0:18:34 > 0:18:39Anyone know what this is and what it is supposed to do?

0:18:39 > 0:18:41Oh, that is Drake's drum.

0:18:41 > 0:18:44Straight in there with the facts, that's it, game over!

0:18:50 > 0:18:53If England is ever in trouble, we are supposed to beat Drake's drum

0:18:53 > 0:18:54and he will come back and help.

0:18:54 > 0:18:57According to the website, Haunted Dartmoor,

0:18:57 > 0:19:00that's 100% reliable, the drum is said to have beat out

0:19:00 > 0:19:02a ghostly tattoo during the First World War

0:19:02 > 0:19:06and once again in 1965, when it was heard by a gardener who stated

0:19:06 > 0:19:09he had clearly heard the drumbeat out.

0:19:09 > 0:19:11Young Alan Titchmarsh on the home-brew there.

0:19:11 > 0:19:14You're absolutely right and for the Frank, well done.

0:19:14 > 0:19:16APPLAUSE

0:19:18 > 0:19:21Time now to fire up our Frank-flavoured fruit machine.

0:19:21 > 0:19:22We will pull the handle

0:19:22 > 0:19:25and up will pop three of my favourite all-time Franks.

0:19:25 > 0:19:28Our teams must match the extraordinary fact

0:19:28 > 0:19:30to the extraordinary Frank. Let's spin.

0:19:30 > 0:19:34French President Francois Mitterrand, 17th century scientist Francis Bacon

0:19:34 > 0:19:37and American president Franklin D Roosevelt.

0:19:37 > 0:19:42The question is, which Frank was killed by a frozen chicken?

0:19:42 > 0:19:46- Hit by a frozen chicken? - No, murdered by a frozen chicken.

0:19:46 > 0:19:49It was a frozen chicken with a gun, Josh.

0:19:49 > 0:19:51Chickens weren't frozen that old.

0:19:51 > 0:19:54LAUGHTER

0:19:54 > 0:19:56I am saying, it's too old.

0:19:56 > 0:19:58It was in a day when chickens weren't getting frozen.

0:19:58 > 0:20:01I am surprised, Kate, you didn't say chickens weren't frozen that old.

0:20:01 > 0:20:02I'm keeping my mouth shut.

0:20:02 > 0:20:06Kate is literally, she is sitting on facts like a hen on an egg.

0:20:06 > 0:20:09Can I just say, just so that everyone knows?

0:20:09 > 0:20:11She has already whispered the answer in my ear.

0:20:11 > 0:20:14- RICHARD:- I don't think Mitterrand was killed by a frozen chicken.

0:20:14 > 0:20:15- We would know that.- We would.

0:20:15 > 0:20:18I believe the French would have let us know about that.

0:20:18 > 0:20:20- I think it is Francis Bacon. - They didn't have freezers then.

0:20:20 > 0:20:23- But you could still freeze things. - Where?- South Pole, North Pole.

0:20:23 > 0:20:27It is a long way to go to pop your chicken in the freezer.

0:20:27 > 0:20:29I just want to see what Rob's mind does

0:20:29 > 0:20:32when we tell him about the Ice Age, he's not going to believe it.

0:20:32 > 0:20:33- What do you think? - Kate knows it is Bacon

0:20:33 > 0:20:35so I think we have got to say Bacon.

0:20:35 > 0:20:37OK, you're both going for Bacon.

0:20:37 > 0:20:40You're both right, you're absolutely right. Well done.

0:20:43 > 0:20:45March 1626, Bacon wanted to see whether...

0:20:45 > 0:20:47March! He's pushing his luck.

0:20:47 > 0:20:49..cold would help with the preservation of meat

0:20:49 > 0:20:51so he stuffed a hen with snow.

0:20:51 > 0:20:54As a result, he caught a chill, developed bronchitis

0:20:54 > 0:20:55and died shortly after.

0:20:55 > 0:20:57So it was a respiratory thing rather

0:20:57 > 0:20:59- than a gastrointestinal thing. - He didn't eat it?

0:20:59 > 0:21:02He was still trying to freeze a chicken without a freezer in spring.

0:21:02 > 0:21:06Pre-global warming, it is the 17th century. No fossil fuels.

0:21:06 > 0:21:09It's much better now, nice and warm.

0:21:09 > 0:21:11You both got that, well done to both of you.

0:21:11 > 0:21:13One of you will get the Francis Bacon,

0:21:13 > 0:21:14the other will get a bonus.

0:21:14 > 0:21:19Look, Frank Pike from Dad's Army. One each, congratulations.

0:21:24 > 0:21:29Next up, you have got French rival to Henry VIII... Don't answer, Kate.

0:21:29 > 0:21:32..King Francis I.

0:21:32 > 0:21:36Sci-fi author Frank Herbert and Kafkaesque author Franz Kafka.

0:21:36 > 0:21:40Which of these Franks invented the hard hat?

0:21:40 > 0:21:42What is the hard hat made of?

0:21:42 > 0:21:43Hard stuff.

0:21:43 > 0:21:45He might have invented a version of it,

0:21:45 > 0:21:48like half a coconut or something.

0:21:48 > 0:21:51I think Kafka did it just so he had something else to moan about.

0:21:51 > 0:21:53I know Francis I invented scaffolding

0:21:53 > 0:21:54but I don't think it was him.

0:21:54 > 0:21:57Francis I invented sleeves.

0:21:59 > 0:22:02- Final answers, what do you reckon? - He was a clerk, wasn't he?

0:22:02 > 0:22:06- He was an official.- You're going for Kafka, are you?- Are we?

0:22:06 > 0:22:08It's Kafkaesque, isn't it?

0:22:08 > 0:22:12- What do you reckon, guys? - I think it's the middle one.

0:22:12 > 0:22:13What do you think, Kate?

0:22:13 > 0:22:15Well, I would think it was the middle one

0:22:15 > 0:22:17but we have just had one that was the middle one.

0:22:17 > 0:22:19That is not a reason!

0:22:21 > 0:22:24I never thought I would say this, but you are a liability to the team.

0:22:24 > 0:22:27Josh, that breaks my heart.

0:22:28 > 0:22:31- We're going to go Francis I. - OK, the correct answer

0:22:31 > 0:22:32is Franz Kafka.

0:22:32 > 0:22:35APPLAUSE

0:22:38 > 0:22:41Kafka worked for an accident claims insurance company

0:22:41 > 0:22:43and is credited with inventing the first hard hat.

0:22:43 > 0:22:45Well done, Richard, the Kafka

0:22:45 > 0:22:47is going to you, you win the Frank.

0:22:53 > 0:22:55Let's spin again.

0:22:55 > 0:22:58You've got holy leader Pope Francis I,

0:22:58 > 0:23:00theatrical dame Frances de la Tour

0:23:00 > 0:23:03and double entendre specialist Frankie Howerd.

0:23:03 > 0:23:06Which of these Franks has released a rock album?

0:23:06 > 0:23:08- JOSH:- I don't think it can be the Pope.

0:23:08 > 0:23:10He is a very liberal Pope but...

0:23:10 > 0:23:14Occasionally they like to reach out to a new audience.

0:23:14 > 0:23:16He might have done something with Status Quo.

0:23:16 > 0:23:18Do you think he has worked with Status Quo?

0:23:18 > 0:23:20Praying All Over The World.

0:23:21 > 0:23:23I don't know anything about Frances de la Tour.

0:23:23 > 0:23:25Shall we go for the Pope?

0:23:25 > 0:23:29- What do you reckon, guys? - Maybe we will go for Frankie Howerd.

0:23:29 > 0:23:31I know there is a Frankie in the Saturdays

0:23:31 > 0:23:33but I don't think it is Frankie Howerd.

0:23:33 > 0:23:37If it is, Wayne Bridge is going to be disappointed!

0:23:37 > 0:23:38LAUGHTER

0:23:38 > 0:23:41Well, the correct answer to that is...

0:23:41 > 0:23:42Pope Francis I.

0:23:49 > 0:23:53So he released a rock album in November last year.

0:23:53 > 0:23:56You win the Frank. Well done, Josh.

0:24:00 > 0:24:03Right, now it is time to play Finish The Fact.

0:24:03 > 0:24:06I am going to start by reading out a Frank-based nugget

0:24:06 > 0:24:09and you have got to buzz in when you think you know how it ends.

0:24:09 > 0:24:12Loads of Franks to be won here.

0:24:12 > 0:24:15First up, jockey Frank Hayes.

0:24:18 > 0:24:19BUZZER Roisin.

0:24:19 > 0:24:21Who let the horse ride him.

0:24:25 > 0:24:27Is the only jockey who's humble enough to admit

0:24:27 > 0:24:29it is the horse that does all the work.

0:24:29 > 0:24:32- No.- Josh, you would be such a good jockey.- Cheers, mate.

0:24:32 > 0:24:35You have got such a jockey look about you.

0:24:35 > 0:24:36What a chat-up line!

0:24:37 > 0:24:42I don't know if I am the only one who has got the booster seat.

0:24:47 > 0:24:50Frank Hayes is the only jockey who has ever won a race while...

0:24:50 > 0:24:53I'll give you a clue, think very ill.

0:24:53 > 0:24:54- Dead.- Had a cold.

0:24:54 > 0:24:56Dead, absolutely right.

0:24:56 > 0:24:59He suffered a fatal heart attack in the midst of a race

0:24:59 > 0:25:03at Belmont Park in New York whilst riding his horse Sweet Kiss.

0:25:03 > 0:25:06Despite carrying a dead weight, Sweet Kiss ran ahead of the field

0:25:06 > 0:25:08and won the race.

0:25:08 > 0:25:12I think I was right by, "The horse doing all the work."

0:25:12 > 0:25:14But you didn't say the words, "he was dead", and Richard did so,

0:25:14 > 0:25:16well done, you win the Frank.

0:25:19 > 0:25:21TV chef Fanny Cradock.

0:25:25 > 0:25:26BUZZER

0:25:26 > 0:25:29- Roisin.- Radio 4.

0:25:29 > 0:25:32Some of the most eloquent tomatoes we have ever seen.

0:25:32 > 0:25:34Smaller tomatoes.

0:25:34 > 0:25:35Like cherry tomatoes.

0:25:37 > 0:25:39Fanny juice?

0:25:39 > 0:25:41AUDIENCE GROANS

0:25:41 > 0:25:44I am going to allow you to continue with that thought.

0:25:44 > 0:25:48- Cos that is her name.- Don't let him continue with that thought!

0:25:48 > 0:25:51It's almost right because, not Fanny's juice,

0:25:51 > 0:25:55but buckets of "Madam's Tonic" which was her own recipe,

0:25:55 > 0:25:56consisting of...

0:25:56 > 0:25:59- There was some tea in there as well. - There was some tea in there.

0:25:59 > 0:26:01Fanny tea.

0:26:01 > 0:26:04And urine. Fanny tea and urine.

0:26:10 > 0:26:14Who doesn't like their tomatoes in lady vinaigrette?

0:26:14 > 0:26:19Fanny also invented a dish called banana candles.

0:26:19 > 0:26:21Let's have a look at these. There they are.

0:26:23 > 0:26:25Worst Bake Off ever.

0:26:26 > 0:26:29"Mary, I have made this."

0:26:30 > 0:26:31Really a conversation stopper.

0:26:31 > 0:26:33And, of course, Kate, you got that right.

0:26:33 > 0:26:36It was indeed Fanny juice, AKA urine and tea.

0:26:42 > 0:26:46Next up, it's holy animal lover St Francis of Assisi.

0:26:49 > 0:26:51BUZZER

0:26:51 > 0:26:52George Foreman grill.

0:26:54 > 0:26:55Tinder.

0:26:57 > 0:26:58BUZZER

0:26:58 > 0:27:01- Kate is about to end the badinage. - Come on.

0:27:01 > 0:27:03Let's hear one funny thing

0:27:03 > 0:27:06before the axe of cold, hard truth falls again.

0:27:09 > 0:27:12Is it the West Side sign?

0:27:12 > 0:27:15- Kate?- I think he invented the Nativity scene.

0:27:15 > 0:27:18It's factually correct.

0:27:22 > 0:27:24He was trying to put religion at the heart of Christmas

0:27:24 > 0:27:26rather than materialism and gift-giving.

0:27:26 > 0:27:29He did indeed construct the Nativity scene.

0:27:29 > 0:27:31APPLAUSE

0:27:35 > 0:27:38I am really enjoying this. It's great fun because

0:27:38 > 0:27:40they have got a historian who knows everything.

0:27:40 > 0:27:43I've seen that guy on Pointless, he claims to know everything.

0:27:43 > 0:27:45He knows nothing, he's a robot.

0:27:45 > 0:27:47So we have come to the end of the show

0:27:47 > 0:27:50and I can tell you that our winners with the most Franks

0:27:50 > 0:27:52are...Josh's team.

0:27:52 > 0:27:55APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

0:28:01 > 0:28:05Josh, you get the privilege now, having won, you get

0:28:05 > 0:28:09the privilege of naming the greatest Frank of all time, as you see it.

0:28:09 > 0:28:10I don't know his surname

0:28:10 > 0:28:12but he is nine years old and he is Irish.

0:28:12 > 0:28:14LAUGHTER

0:28:18 > 0:28:21So for our winners, a musical treat.

0:28:21 > 0:28:25This is by pop sensation Pope Francis I.

0:28:25 > 0:28:26It's yours, there you go.

0:28:31 > 0:28:34And finally, for our losers,

0:28:34 > 0:28:37a mere shower of carcinogenic snow from The Wizard Of Oz.

0:28:39 > 0:28:42There you go. Don't breathe in, don't breathe in.

0:28:42 > 0:28:44My thanks to all my guests.

0:28:44 > 0:28:47Special thanks to all the Franks here, there and everywhere.

0:28:47 > 0:28:50And thanks to you at home for watching. Don't breathe in.

0:28:50 > 0:28:51Goodnight.