Episode 4

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0:00:05 > 0:00:12This programme contains strong language

0:00:26 > 0:00:29Hello, you, and welcome to Insert Name Here, the show where we

0:00:29 > 0:00:33discover surprising facts about people with just one thing in common.

0:00:33 > 0:00:34They've all got the same name.

0:00:34 > 0:00:38Joining me are six of my favourite people, each bearing their own unique moniker,

0:00:38 > 0:00:42so please welcome Kate Williams, Danny Baker and their team captain Josh Widdicombe

0:00:42 > 0:00:46and on the other side, Aisling Bea, Robert Webb and their captain Richard Osman.

0:00:46 > 0:00:49APPLAUSE

0:00:54 > 0:00:56Aisling, do people struggle with your name?

0:00:56 > 0:00:59The pronunciation is not evident from perhaps the spelling.

0:00:59 > 0:01:03I do get a lot of confusion over it but it's our language so for me,

0:01:03 > 0:01:06it's as clear as day that A-O-I-F-E is Aoife,

0:01:06 > 0:01:10or N-I-A-M-H is Niamh, or S-I-O-B-H-A-N is...

0:01:10 > 0:01:12Are you talking in tongues now?

0:01:12 > 0:01:16It's called Ireland, is just sort of out and to the left.

0:01:16 > 0:01:20How are you spelling that? Q-P-G...

0:01:20 > 0:01:23Robert, do you work better with "Rob" or "Robert"?

0:01:23 > 0:01:25Rob is fine, really.

0:01:25 > 0:01:29But when it's Rob Webb - I saw a dressing room door once

0:01:29 > 0:01:32and it R-O-B-B W-E-B.

0:01:32 > 0:01:37It was like one of the Bs had just jumped over.

0:01:37 > 0:01:39It was just weird. You know what's happened there?

0:01:39 > 0:01:42You've gone to the wrong dressing room.

0:01:42 > 0:01:47Now Kate, since your last appearance, we've done Kate and William.

0:01:47 > 0:01:49So, what's your middle name?

0:01:49 > 0:01:50Ruth.

0:01:50 > 0:01:52I've got nothing to say about Ruth, let's move on.

0:01:54 > 0:01:55You are ruthless!

0:01:55 > 0:01:58APPLAUSE

0:01:58 > 0:02:00Wow! Boom!

0:02:01 > 0:02:04And it's not going to get any better than that tonight!

0:02:04 > 0:02:06Josh, it's not gone unnoticed

0:02:06 > 0:02:10that the expert always seems to be on your team.

0:02:10 > 0:02:12Do you know what, the producers genuinely said,

0:02:12 > 0:02:15"That's because you're not as clever as Richard Osman."

0:02:15 > 0:02:18LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

0:02:21 > 0:02:25To the all-important question, which name is going to be featuring tonight?

0:02:25 > 0:02:26It's a name we all know and love.

0:02:26 > 0:02:28They can be average, they can be holy.

0:02:28 > 0:02:31They can even be shmoes - because tonight's name is Jo.

0:02:31 > 0:02:35APPLAUSE

0:02:35 > 0:02:38So, tonight I'm going to be testing the team's knowledge of all

0:02:38 > 0:02:42things Jo and that of course includes Josephs, Joannas, Joeys

0:02:42 > 0:02:45and Jodys - all variations are welcome, we do not discriminate.

0:02:45 > 0:02:47But who might be on the show tonight?

0:02:47 > 0:02:51Well, we've got dictators, entertainers, saints,

0:02:51 > 0:02:55we've got a Jo who's bright and Jo who's bright orange.

0:02:55 > 0:02:58Along the way, our teams will be collecting as many Jos as they can,

0:02:58 > 0:03:02at the end of the show, the winning team will have the honour of deciding

0:03:02 > 0:03:04who is officially the greatest Jo of all time.

0:03:04 > 0:03:09So Richard, any early thoughts about who you'd lay claim to as the greatest Jo?

0:03:09 > 0:03:12Well, other than Joey Essex, who of course is terrific.

0:03:12 > 0:03:14I know a fact about Joey Essex which is he's not from Essex.

0:03:14 > 0:03:17Which is more than Joey Essex knows!

0:03:17 > 0:03:19He's from Bermondsey, Danny Baker country.

0:03:19 > 0:03:21I know the family very, very well. Do you?

0:03:21 > 0:03:24Cos he's really called Essex?

0:03:24 > 0:03:27His uncle, Greg Essex, he was an enormous fellow,

0:03:27 > 0:03:28I'm talking 30 stone.

0:03:28 > 0:03:32One sitting before a Millwall match - and it's absolutely true -

0:03:32 > 0:03:33because he was egged on...

0:03:33 > 0:03:3526 pies, 28 mash.

0:03:35 > 0:03:36LAUGHTER

0:03:36 > 0:03:39What?! That's where the company Greggs comes from.

0:03:39 > 0:03:40LAUGHTER

0:03:43 > 0:03:45So Josh, who would you be staking your claim?

0:03:45 > 0:03:49Probably go back to the start, Jesus's dad.

0:03:49 > 0:03:52Not God, the other one. Joseph.

0:03:52 > 0:03:55He doesn't get enough credit, he's had a bad 2,000 years.

0:03:55 > 0:03:58So either the father of Jesus or Joe Root the England cricketer.

0:03:58 > 0:04:05So it's an even split between those two?

0:04:05 > 0:04:07But Joseph is the father of Jesus.

0:04:07 > 0:04:10Joseph... Do you know what, I'm going to go with Joey Essex.

0:04:10 > 0:04:12LAUGHTER

0:04:12 > 0:04:15Well, he's sort of the stepfather of Jesus, isn't he?

0:04:15 > 0:04:18Looked like him in the pram. People said, "He's got his dad's halo."

0:04:18 > 0:04:19LAUGHTER

0:04:21 > 0:04:23Well, between the trio of Joey Essex, Joe Root

0:04:23 > 0:04:28and Joseph the sort of stepdad of Jesus, we will find somewhere.

0:04:28 > 0:04:30Let's get on with the show. Time to pick a Jo.

0:04:30 > 0:04:34Our panellists choose a category and behind each one lurks a famous Jo,

0:04:34 > 0:04:36which our teams must attempt to win.

0:04:36 > 0:04:41We've got:

0:04:41 > 0:04:44So Josh, who do your team fancy out of that lot?

0:04:44 > 0:04:46Shall we go Sporty Jo? Sporty Jo. Why not.

0:04:46 > 0:04:50Congratulations, you've picked football is the list mis-manager,

0:04:50 > 0:04:51Joseph "Sepp" Blatter.

0:04:54 > 0:04:56Let the games commence!

0:04:56 > 0:04:58He's actually not called Joseph but we thought,

0:04:58 > 0:05:01it's going to be lot of series before we get to the episode Sepp!

0:05:02 > 0:05:04Let's have a look at his stats.

0:05:20 > 0:05:21LAUGHTER

0:05:26 > 0:05:28We're all probably football fans loosely here, but Richard,

0:05:28 > 0:05:32you're a very keen football fan. Do you fancy standing as the next president of Fifa?

0:05:32 > 0:05:37I don't, I support Sepp Blatter and I would say anybody who believes

0:05:37 > 0:05:41the allegations against him - you have not seen my new Mercedes.

0:05:41 > 0:05:43LAUGHTER

0:05:44 > 0:05:47Despite all the talk of corruption, he still has his supporters.

0:05:47 > 0:05:49LAUGHTER

0:05:49 > 0:05:51What did Putin suggest that Blatter should be given?

0:05:51 > 0:05:52The Ukraine?

0:05:52 > 0:05:55LAUGHTER

0:05:59 > 0:06:01The greatest honour you can get.

0:06:01 > 0:06:03Was it Star Baker?

0:06:03 > 0:06:05A Swedish prize!

0:06:05 > 0:06:06Oh, the Nobel Prize!

0:06:06 > 0:06:09They should do a Nobel Prize for corruption.

0:06:09 > 0:06:11What a money-spinner that would be!

0:06:13 > 0:06:16Putin certainly gave Blatter his full confidence, saying,

0:06:16 > 0:06:19"I don't believe a word about him being involved in corruption."

0:06:19 > 0:06:24In entirely unconnected news, Russia will be hosting the next World Cup.

0:06:24 > 0:06:26Sepp has been a player all his life -

0:06:26 > 0:06:30the question for you is how did he earn money as a teenager?

0:06:30 > 0:06:33Did he have a paper round in Qatar?

0:06:33 > 0:06:37I think he sold lingerie at some point.

0:06:37 > 0:06:41Not lingerie, I'll tell you - he was a professional yodeller.

0:06:41 > 0:06:42No!

0:06:44 > 0:06:46That's almost a racist answer, isn't it?

0:06:48 > 0:06:52Have you just not got any answers about Sepp, so it's just going to be Swiss stereotypes?

0:06:52 > 0:06:55Listen, he was a professional yodeller.

0:06:55 > 0:06:58For 75 quid, he would sing songs, told jokes,

0:06:58 > 0:07:01do a soft-shoe shuffle, and for ?200 million,

0:07:01 > 0:07:03he'd throw in the World Cup.

0:07:04 > 0:07:08Decades later, the old footwork hasn't deserted him, as we'll see here.

0:07:17 > 0:07:19No-one likes to see that, do they?

0:07:19 > 0:07:24Everyone at home is not listening to this because they're just rewinding.

0:07:24 > 0:07:26In Switzerland, they eat dog and that's like,

0:07:26 > 0:07:30people always make fun of the Far East! Especially round the Alps.

0:07:30 > 0:07:32I'm never going to Switzerland again.

0:07:32 > 0:07:35What's more, he once chipped his tooth on a Toblerone.

0:07:36 > 0:07:40Chocolate shaped like the Alps. I never knew that design is supposed to be the Alps.

0:07:40 > 0:07:44It is the most palate-unfriendly shape for a chocolate

0:07:44 > 0:07:47because the Alp gets embedded in the hard palate.

0:07:47 > 0:07:51In 2002 Blatter married for the third time.

0:07:51 > 0:07:54Does anyone know what his wife's job was?

0:07:54 > 0:07:55She was a yodeller.

0:07:56 > 0:07:58She was a yodel replier.

0:07:59 > 0:08:02Do you think yodelling was like the original Tinder in Switzerland

0:08:02 > 0:08:04and they went, "Yodelayheehoo!".

0:08:05 > 0:08:07It's quite a limited repertoire, isn't it?

0:08:07 > 0:08:10Yodelayheeha, yodelayheehee... That's it.

0:08:10 > 0:08:12Was I being racist again? Sorry!

0:08:12 > 0:08:14Little bit.

0:08:14 > 0:08:17To be fair though, Sue, less than usual, so it's good.

0:08:17 > 0:08:20Do you think we've yodelled so many times that Swiss people

0:08:20 > 0:08:24are going to start surrounding the studio outside... "They're calling us."

0:08:29 > 0:08:32We are from Switzerland and this is how we walk.

0:08:32 > 0:08:33Is that a Swiss walk?

0:08:33 > 0:08:37You always see them coming out of the clocks like that.

0:08:37 > 0:08:40Let me put you out of your misery.

0:08:40 > 0:08:42The occupation of Sepp Blatter's third wife.

0:08:42 > 0:08:44She was a dolphin therapist.

0:08:44 > 0:08:46LAUGHTER

0:08:46 > 0:08:49Did she give therapy to people who were frightened of dolphins,

0:08:49 > 0:08:53or actually therapise the dolphins?

0:08:53 > 0:08:54HE IMITATES DOLPHIN

0:08:55 > 0:09:00Now a load of dolphins are going to arrive outside the studio.

0:09:00 > 0:09:02They don't know what Robert's saying. There's dolphins

0:09:02 > 0:09:05at home going, "Bloody hell, Sue and Robert are racist."

0:09:05 > 0:09:06LAUGHTER DROWNS SPEECH

0:09:08 > 0:09:11So, time to play for the Jo.

0:09:11 > 0:09:13Following the 2010 World Cup in South Africa,

0:09:13 > 0:09:16Blatter was presented with a prestigious honour,

0:09:16 > 0:09:19the Order of the Companions of OR Tambo.

0:09:19 > 0:09:23What was he called on the Order's official website?

0:09:23 > 0:09:26It was an unfortunate addition to his name, and offensive.

0:09:26 > 0:09:28Weak! Weak Blatter.

0:09:28 > 0:09:31LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

0:09:35 > 0:09:37Bellend. Absolutely right.

0:09:37 > 0:09:40No! I'll tell you what he was down as.

0:09:40 > 0:09:44"Joseph Sepp Bellend Blatter." Oh, no!

0:09:44 > 0:09:47Bravo! Well done, Aisling!

0:09:49 > 0:09:52Now, the reason this came about is officials copied the title

0:09:52 > 0:09:53from Blatter's Wikipedia page...

0:09:57 > 0:10:00..which had been pranked. That's so good! Here it is.

0:10:00 > 0:10:02So either that, or...

0:10:04 > 0:10:08You've got to love the report in the Daily Telegraph which simply said,

0:10:08 > 0:10:11"Both websites have since been amended, removing the reference

0:10:11 > 0:10:13"to bellend, which is a slang term for a penis."

0:10:16 > 0:10:18Have you ever been vandalised online, Josh?

0:10:18 > 0:10:21On my Wikipedia page, for a brief while, it just said...

0:10:21 > 0:10:24And there's no truth in this, I don't know where it came from.

0:10:24 > 0:10:27..that my parents bred miniature Schnauzers.

0:10:29 > 0:10:31That's an awful thing to say!

0:10:31 > 0:10:33Of course, bread and miniatures Schnauzers

0:10:33 > 0:10:36is the most popular sandwich in Switzerland.

0:10:36 > 0:10:38LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

0:10:42 > 0:10:45Has anybody else been pranked? Anyone been... I was dead. You were dead?

0:10:45 > 0:10:47I was. My death date was put in.

0:10:47 > 0:10:49I happened to go on it and it just said,

0:10:49 > 0:10:53"Kate Williams died on 21st November, 2013."

0:10:53 > 0:10:55You are doing so well for someone who's dead.

0:10:55 > 0:10:58I've just thought of a brilliant film you can do,

0:10:58 > 0:11:00where someone goes on their Wikipedia page

0:11:00 > 0:11:03and then there's a date in, like, the future...

0:11:03 > 0:11:05I'm not going to say it, cos I'm going to...

0:11:07 > 0:11:08Can I just say, I've never seen my Wiki page

0:11:08 > 0:11:11and I don't intend to after the show, cos it will be pranked,

0:11:11 > 0:11:13but I do know that the first thing on it goes,

0:11:13 > 0:11:16"not to be confused with Miss America 1978."

0:11:16 > 0:11:18Unlikely.

0:11:18 > 0:11:21Well, I'll be honest, when I signed up to the show,

0:11:21 > 0:11:24I was very disappointed when you turned up with the first answer.

0:11:24 > 0:11:27Well done, Richard's team. You collect the Jo.

0:11:31 > 0:11:33Right, Richard, your turn. What's it going to be?

0:11:33 > 0:11:36You've got a Literary Jo, a Nasty Jo or an Artistic Jo.

0:11:36 > 0:11:38We will go for Nasty Jo, please.

0:11:38 > 0:11:40You've gone nasty? Very nasty.

0:11:40 > 0:11:41It's everyone's favourite Russian dictator

0:11:41 > 0:11:47and the world's worst children's entertainer, Uncle Joe Stalin.

0:11:47 > 0:11:52Stalin was the ruler of the USSR from 1929 to 1953.

0:11:52 > 0:11:53Let's look at his stats.

0:12:05 > 0:12:08Richard, are you a Stalinist? I like a lot about what he did.

0:12:11 > 0:12:15We worked together briefly in the early '90s.

0:12:15 > 0:12:18He did Pointless Celebrities, didn't he? He came on with Lenin.

0:12:18 > 0:12:21But then he got knocked out by Sue Pollard and Ruth Madoc.

0:12:21 > 0:12:24You know that picture of Joseph Stalin?

0:12:24 > 0:12:27Like, five years ago, that would've looked like Joseph Stalin but now it

0:12:27 > 0:12:30sort of looks like he owns his own hipster coffee shop in Shoreditch.

0:12:30 > 0:12:34Have you ever tried that luxuriant moustache combination with pipe, Rob?

0:12:34 > 0:12:38Last time I had this much hair on my face, I started shaving it off

0:12:38 > 0:12:41and just left just to see what it'd look like and it was awful.

0:12:41 > 0:12:43So I kept going.

0:12:43 > 0:12:45I think every bloke who goes a few days without shaving does...

0:12:45 > 0:12:48Just to have a look. Just have a quick look.

0:12:48 > 0:12:51Start with the Frank Zappa, come down to the Hitler. Yeah!

0:12:51 > 0:12:53KNOCKS ON TABLE "What are you doing in there?"

0:12:53 > 0:12:59GERMAN ACCENT: Nothing. NORMAL: I mean, nothing!

0:13:01 > 0:13:17As a young man, Stalin became a full-time revolutionary,

0:13:17 > 0:13:21Can you just kick the shit out of people? That's more like it.

0:13:21 > 0:13:23He was a bouncer at a nightclub. Extortion.

0:13:23 > 0:13:32Exactly that, extortion, bank robberies, kidnappings.

0:13:32 > 0:13:41We know you're on Bake Off!

0:13:41 > 0:13:42You're going to go around,

0:13:42 > 0:13:45"Oh, your name is Mary. Well, an interesting fact about that..."

0:13:47 > 0:13:50After coming to power, Stalin was given a series of grandiose titles.

0:13:50 > 0:13:52Does anybody know any of them?

0:13:52 > 0:13:55Protector of the Realm. Let me start you off with Father of Nations.

0:13:55 > 0:13:58Giant Genocidal Bastard of the Universe.

0:13:58 > 0:14:01Would've been good. You could've also had...

0:14:05 > 0:14:09And my personal favourite...

0:14:09 > 0:14:12It was Idi Amin who was King of Scotland, wasn't it?

0:14:12 > 0:14:14Yes, it was Idi Amin.

0:14:14 > 0:14:17And did you know that he used to eat 40 oranges a day because he thought

0:14:17 > 0:14:20they were nature's Viagra and then do you know who he used to write

0:14:20 > 0:14:22letters to after he'd eaten 40 oranges?

0:14:22 > 0:14:32The man from Delmonte.

0:14:32 > 0:14:37AISLING: She's the now Queen? Yeah, we're on the second one.

0:14:37 > 0:14:40This is going out on Monday, so fingers crossed!

0:14:42 > 0:14:45Towards the end of his life, Stalin's behaviour became somewhat erratic.

0:14:45 > 0:14:50Stalin banned his guards from entering his bedroom

0:14:50 > 0:14:53he decided to test their resilience by screaming in great agony.

0:14:53 > 0:14:58When his guards came running in, they were executed for disobeying orders.

0:14:58 > 0:15:00Wow! How did this trick backfire?

0:15:00 > 0:15:03He died in his bedroom and no-one came to get him, surely.

0:15:03 > 0:15:05That's pretty much right, yes. Pretty much right.

0:15:05 > 0:15:07Do you know any greater detail about that, Kate?

0:15:07 > 0:15:14Do you know about Stalin's death? Why are you asking Kate?

0:15:14 > 0:15:17Would you like some more detail on that?

0:15:17 > 0:15:18How did he die and when?

0:15:18 > 0:15:20Oh, I don't... Was he poisoned?

0:15:20 > 0:15:23No, he... She didn't know!

0:15:23 > 0:15:25He had a stroke or a heart attack. A stroke.

0:15:25 > 0:15:28They were too nervous to say, "Shall we take you hospital?"

0:15:28 > 0:15:31So they left him in that room because they were terrified

0:15:31 > 0:15:33to actually make the decision, "I think he's dying."

0:15:33 > 0:15:36Yes, exactly right. When somebody finally dared enter the room,

0:15:36 > 0:15:39Stalin was found unconscious, lying on his back, soaked in urine.

0:15:39 > 0:15:42Doctors administered a series of micro-enemas using

0:15:42 > 0:15:45magnesium sulphate, glucose and Vaseline.

0:15:45 > 0:15:49Nothing to do with curing him, I think they just wanted to piss about.

0:15:51 > 0:15:54OK, put your borscht away because now it's the big one.

0:15:54 > 0:15:57We are going to play for the Jo.

0:15:57 > 0:16:00When Stalin was diagnosed with a stroke,

0:16:00 > 0:16:03what treatment did he receive, besides the micro enemas?

0:16:03 > 0:16:04Kate, do you know?

0:16:04 > 0:16:06Cabbage? Cabbage?!

0:16:06 > 0:16:10And you're a historian?! "I don't know, cabbage."

0:16:10 > 0:16:11"Cabbage, I don't know."

0:16:11 > 0:16:14Think a more medieval... Leeches!

0:16:14 > 0:16:17Leeches is right. Absolutely right.

0:16:17 > 0:16:20It was supposed to be cabbages, but they ordered from Ocado,

0:16:20 > 0:16:23they said, "There's been one substitution.

0:16:23 > 0:16:26"We hope you're OK with leeches instead."

0:16:26 > 0:16:29He was basically sponged down with aromatic vinegar

0:16:29 > 0:16:32and eight leeches were placed behind his ears.

0:16:32 > 0:16:34Died shortly afterwards.

0:16:34 > 0:16:37Richard, your team just won Joe Stalin.

0:16:37 > 0:16:38Yes! Yes!

0:16:43 > 0:16:44Right... Josh, it's your turn.

0:16:44 > 0:16:48Pick a Jo. You've got a Literary Jo or Artistic Jo.

0:16:48 > 0:16:49Literary Jo, please.

0:16:49 > 0:16:52And, as if by magic, it is best selling children's author,

0:16:52 > 0:16:54the magnificent JK Rowling.

0:16:58 > 0:16:59Let's have a look at her stats.

0:17:09 > 0:17:12Josh, you must have grown up with Harry Potter. No, I didn't, no.

0:17:12 > 0:17:14I'm 32.

0:17:14 > 0:17:17I never knew Ron Weasley was 32. That is incredible news.

0:17:20 > 0:17:23Who's a fan of Harry Potter? I queued up for them. Did you?

0:17:23 > 0:17:26Yes, as a grown-ass adult with loads of children.

0:17:26 > 0:17:28I was like, "Back off!"

0:17:28 > 0:17:31Did you go on the rides and stuff? Did you go to the theme park,

0:17:31 > 0:17:33the Harry Potter...? Just me, then.

0:17:33 > 0:17:35I have, yeah. You went? I've been on, yeah.

0:17:35 > 0:17:37The one in Florida is unbelievable.

0:17:37 > 0:17:40And I've only ever seen half of one of the films, read two of the books,

0:17:40 > 0:17:43but, man alive, do I feel like I've been to...

0:17:43 > 0:17:45Middle Earth? I don't know what it is.

0:17:49 > 0:17:50That message really sunk in!

0:17:50 > 0:17:53I like the idea of Danny doing all the great books,

0:17:53 > 0:17:56but just in ride form.

0:17:56 > 0:17:57"I've not read War And Peace,

0:17:57 > 0:18:00"but have you been on the roller-coaster?"

0:18:00 > 0:18:03They did almost do a Napoleon theme park.

0:18:03 > 0:18:05Wasn't Napoleon famously short?

0:18:05 > 0:18:08He wouldn't have been able to go on any of the rides.

0:18:08 > 0:18:09I think it's still in the planning,

0:18:09 > 0:18:12because France feels they've got Disneyland, they've got...

0:18:12 > 0:18:14They want something to beat it and it'll be Napoleon Land.

0:18:14 > 0:18:16I'd call it Bona-Park.

0:18:16 > 0:18:18Ah!

0:18:19 > 0:18:24Only once has JK Rowling resorted to wearing a disguise in public,

0:18:24 > 0:18:25despite the levels of her fame.

0:18:25 > 0:18:28So on the day that she wore this disguise, what was she doing?

0:18:28 > 0:18:30Is she that person they haven't caught

0:18:30 > 0:18:33from the Hatton Gardens robbery? Yeah, yeah. Of course.

0:18:33 > 0:18:37Some people, once they get the money, they can't stop, can they?

0:18:37 > 0:18:40Possibly one of the greatest days for a woman. Her wedding day?

0:18:40 > 0:18:43Well, yeah, what would she be getting in advance of her wedding day?

0:18:43 > 0:18:44Can I just... Her dress!

0:18:44 > 0:18:48Can I just pick bones with "the greatest day for a woman"?

0:18:48 > 0:18:51The day you get to give yourself legally over to a man, yay(!)

0:18:55 > 0:18:57CHEERING

0:18:57 > 0:19:00You're absolutely right, Kate Williams,

0:19:00 > 0:19:03she was indeed buying her wedding dress, which is in no way

0:19:03 > 0:19:08a decent or exciting or interesting day for any modern enlightened woman.

0:19:08 > 0:19:10She was married in 2001 to Dr Neil Murray.

0:19:10 > 0:19:14She hasn't disclosed what the disguise was that she wore,

0:19:14 > 0:19:16she says, "In case I need to use it again."

0:19:16 > 0:19:19Better than this one, however, used by Muse singer Matt Bellamy

0:19:19 > 0:19:21and actress Kate Hudson.

0:19:22 > 0:19:24There you go.

0:19:24 > 0:19:26No! Yes.

0:19:26 > 0:19:30That disguise is literally 5p more expensive than it was...

0:19:30 > 0:19:33Are you sure he wasn't just walking on the street

0:19:33 > 0:19:35and it blew into his face?

0:19:35 > 0:19:39The Harry Potter films made millionaires of the three main stars.

0:19:39 > 0:19:40During the early films,

0:19:40 > 0:19:43why did the producers hire a professional dentist?

0:19:43 > 0:19:46Oh, cos the kids are so young that their teeth were falling out.

0:19:46 > 0:19:49That is exactly right. You are absolutely on it.

0:19:49 > 0:19:51Matthew Lewis, who played Neville Longbottom,

0:19:51 > 0:19:53had to spend ten years with crooked teeth

0:19:53 > 0:19:56because the producers wouldn't let him wear a brace.

0:19:56 > 0:19:57To quote the man himself...

0:20:01 > 0:20:03..although, judging by a more recent picture,

0:20:03 > 0:20:05things have worked out just fine.

0:20:05 > 0:20:08SHE GROWLS

0:20:08 > 0:20:10Whoa!

0:20:10 > 0:20:13I think we can all see where he's put the Philosopher's Stone.

0:20:13 > 0:20:16LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

0:20:18 > 0:20:20I met Daniel Radcliffe.

0:20:20 > 0:20:22He said his one ambition in life was to go on Pointless.

0:20:22 > 0:20:25RICHARD: He's welcome on any time, Daniel Radcliffe. He knows that.

0:20:25 > 0:20:28In fact, they all are. Rupert Grint. Emma Watson, yeah...

0:20:28 > 0:20:30The other two...

0:20:30 > 0:20:33Like we'd say no to Emma Watson! Come on.

0:20:33 > 0:20:35"No, sorry, we've got Cheggers, so..."

0:20:37 > 0:20:39So, now it's time to play for the Jo.

0:20:39 > 0:20:44Why was a toy replica of Harry Potter's broomstick

0:20:44 > 0:20:45surprisingly popular?

0:20:45 > 0:20:47Is it a sexual thing?

0:20:47 > 0:20:51It was, sort of, yes. It was, yes. It had a special feature.

0:20:51 > 0:20:53Did it vibrate? It did vibrate, yes. Oh, no! That's a shame.

0:20:53 > 0:20:56It did vibrate is exactly the right answer.

0:20:56 > 0:20:59The battery-operated toy featured, and I quote,

0:20:59 > 0:21:03"a grooved stick and handle for easy riding."

0:21:03 > 0:21:07It was a replica Nimbus 2000 or, as it's now called, the Quimbus 2000.

0:21:09 > 0:21:12Congratulations, Richard, you pick up...Jo!

0:21:12 > 0:21:14Very good. No high-fives this time.

0:21:14 > 0:21:17Now time for our Fruit Machine Round.

0:21:17 > 0:21:19Each time I spin, up will pop three of my favourite Jos.

0:21:19 > 0:21:22Our teams must match the extraordinary fact

0:21:22 > 0:21:24to the extraordinary Jo.

0:21:24 > 0:21:26So let's spin. We have...

0:21:26 > 0:21:28philosophical footballer Joey Barton,

0:21:28 > 0:21:31boxer turned Strictly star Joe Calzaghe

0:21:31 > 0:21:33and squeaky funny man Joe Pasquale.

0:21:33 > 0:21:37So the question is, which Joe produced a series of paintings

0:21:37 > 0:21:38inspired by the Italian Renaissance?

0:21:38 > 0:21:41OK, well, I think... I'm going to start with Josh first.

0:21:41 > 0:21:43Have you met Joey Barton? Yeah, I know him quite well.

0:21:43 > 0:21:46He's never mentioned... KATE: Does he look like a painter to you?

0:21:46 > 0:21:49He looks like a painter and decorator.

0:21:49 > 0:21:53I think definitely Joe Pasquale, if anyone is...

0:21:53 > 0:21:56Have you met Joe Pasquale? Yes, of course. And anyone who's...

0:21:56 > 0:21:58Joe Pasquale speaks very highly of you.

0:21:58 > 0:22:01Hey!

0:22:01 > 0:22:04Joe Pasquale, cos Joe is a man of hidden depths... Is he?

0:22:04 > 0:22:06Yes, he is, absolutely. Joe Pasquale.

0:22:06 > 0:22:09OK, well, I think we're going to go with Joe Pasquale.

0:22:09 > 0:22:11You're not convinced, are you? Well, I am now.

0:22:11 > 0:22:14Richard's team, what are you going to opt for?

0:22:14 > 0:22:16I would have thought Calzaghe.

0:22:16 > 0:22:18But I think his hands would get damaged all the time

0:22:18 > 0:22:21so he wouldn't be able to paint. No, he doesn't fight any more.

0:22:21 > 0:22:23And, to be fair, he works on canvas. Oh, yeah.

0:22:25 > 0:22:27Who do you reckon, then?

0:22:27 > 0:22:29Joe Calzaghe. Joe Calzaghe.

0:22:29 > 0:22:31Well, the correct answer is...

0:22:31 > 0:22:32Joe Pasquale. Yeah.

0:22:32 > 0:22:35APPLAUSE

0:22:37 > 0:22:40In February 2015, Joe produced a series of Renaissance-style

0:22:40 > 0:22:44paintings based on the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

0:22:44 > 0:22:47Here's Joe proudly standing NEAR the National Gallery.

0:22:49 > 0:22:52So, congratulations, Josh, you win the Jo.

0:22:52 > 0:22:54APPLAUSE

0:22:59 > 0:23:00So...

0:23:00 > 0:23:02Let's spin again.

0:23:02 > 0:23:05You've got former Pope, Benedict XVI, Joseph Ratzinger,

0:23:05 > 0:23:08Portuguese man o' war Jose Mourinho

0:23:08 > 0:23:11and glow-in-the-dark TV personality Joey Essex.

0:23:11 > 0:23:13Which Jo holds a pilot's licence?

0:23:13 > 0:23:15Going to start with you, now, Richard.

0:23:15 > 0:23:20I hope, for the sake of all of us and our souls, it's not Joey Essex.

0:23:20 > 0:23:24Who is the middle man again? Jose Mourinho. He's Hose Mourinho.

0:23:24 > 0:23:27Jose Mourinho. Oh, so that's old Hose Mourinho. Jose. Jose.

0:23:27 > 0:23:29That kind of, "Oh, I'm so driven,

0:23:29 > 0:23:32"now I've got to learn how to fly a plane," kind of dick.

0:23:32 > 0:23:33I see what you mean.

0:23:33 > 0:23:35LAUGHTER

0:23:35 > 0:23:40I think that the former Pope might hold a Pontius Pilate's licence.

0:23:42 > 0:23:44APPLAUSE

0:23:46 > 0:23:48We would like to pick the Pope.

0:23:48 > 0:23:50They've opted for Joseph Ratzinger.

0:23:50 > 0:23:52What are you going to go for, Josh's team?

0:23:52 > 0:23:55I've read so much about Jose Mourinho that I would have

0:23:55 > 0:23:58read that he was a pilot, whereas I don't know much about Joey Essex.

0:23:58 > 0:24:01You're going to go Joey Essex? It can't be Joey Essex! No!

0:24:01 > 0:24:04Shoot me if I ever get on a plane and it just goes,

0:24:04 > 0:24:07"Hello, it's your captain here, right? I'll be right out, right?

0:24:07 > 0:24:09"We're going to go out over Clacton now.

0:24:09 > 0:24:11"Don't know where we're going, right?"

0:24:11 > 0:24:14Joey Essex. All right, you're going to go for Joey Essex.

0:24:14 > 0:24:15The correct answer is...

0:24:15 > 0:24:17Joseph Ratzinger.

0:24:17 > 0:24:19APPLAUSE

0:24:23 > 0:24:26Old Pope Joseph Ratzinger would fly himself from the Vatican

0:24:26 > 0:24:29to his summer residence just outside Rome.

0:24:29 > 0:24:31He's also a trained helicopter pilot

0:24:31 > 0:24:34and was known to fly the Vatican chopper to official...

0:24:34 > 0:24:37I don't know why I'm laughing when I say the Vatican...

0:24:37 > 0:24:40But congratulations, you, sir, win the Joseph.

0:24:40 > 0:24:41Yay!

0:24:41 > 0:24:43APPLAUSE

0:24:43 > 0:24:45So, everybody, let's play Finish The Fact.

0:24:45 > 0:24:47I'll start by reading out a Jo-based gem,

0:24:47 > 0:24:51you buzz in when you know, or you think you know, how it ends.

0:24:51 > 0:24:54First up, it's sweet magnate Joseph Rowntree.

0:24:59 > 0:25:01BELL RINGS Chocolate.

0:25:02 > 0:25:03And...?

0:25:03 > 0:25:06BELL RINGS Ox beef, something like that?

0:25:06 > 0:25:08Ox is absolutely right, yes. Beef extract, anyway.

0:25:08 > 0:25:10So essence of ox.

0:25:10 > 0:25:12And it was pitched as a health food for...

0:25:12 > 0:25:14BUZZER One week.

0:25:14 > 0:25:16LAUGHTER

0:25:16 > 0:25:18BELL RINGS I might be wrong, is it...?

0:25:18 > 0:25:20I think it's for invalids.

0:25:20 > 0:25:22Yes, it was. And was it for cyclists?

0:25:22 > 0:25:24It was for cyclists and invalids, well done. Whoa!

0:25:24 > 0:25:27APPLAUSE

0:25:27 > 0:25:31Do you know any more information about the Rowntree ox chocolate?

0:25:31 > 0:25:33Beef extract was good for the invalid.

0:25:33 > 0:25:35It was something that you would give the invalid

0:25:35 > 0:25:36so it was made to be easy to eat

0:25:36 > 0:25:39and children who wouldn't eat beef extract would eat the chocolate,

0:25:39 > 0:25:42that was the idea. You win the Rowntree. Well done.

0:25:46 > 0:25:49Next, heroic carrier pigeon GI Joe.

0:25:55 > 0:25:58Saved himself until he met the right pigeon.

0:25:59 > 0:26:01No.

0:26:01 > 0:26:04Saved it all up until he flew over a statue of Sepp Blatter.

0:26:04 > 0:26:05No.

0:26:10 > 0:26:11Warning them of a "coo"!

0:26:16 > 0:26:19The British troops were being attacked so they knew in command

0:26:19 > 0:26:22to send reinforcements but they wouldn't have known

0:26:22 > 0:26:25if it wasn't for GI Joe, who was so fast. You can see him there

0:26:25 > 0:26:27with a little... It looks like a bomb

0:26:27 > 0:26:30but it's actually his little message backpack on his back.

0:26:30 > 0:26:32You're absolutely right, Kate. You are absolutely right.

0:26:36 > 0:26:39Congratulations, Josh. You win the Jo.

0:26:42 > 0:26:45Next, holy man St Joseph of Cupertino.

0:26:49 > 0:26:51Josh.

0:26:51 > 0:26:54Did he just piss in his trousers like astronauts?

0:26:54 > 0:26:56I don't know if you're beatified

0:26:56 > 0:26:57because you can wee in your own trousers,

0:26:57 > 0:27:00in which case I would be St Susan of Croydon right now.

0:27:00 > 0:27:03Oh, I just beatified myself again.

0:27:04 > 0:27:11I'm going to give you a little bit more.

0:27:11 > 0:27:16Did he begin by going, "Ten, nine..."

0:27:18 > 0:27:19Did he levitate?

0:27:19 > 0:27:21He did levitate!

0:27:29 > 0:27:32Yes, I think it was about 1630, wasn't it?

0:27:32 > 0:27:34Of course it was, yes.

0:27:34 > 0:27:36He was having a celebration of mass,

0:27:36 > 0:27:39he was joining in this big celebration of the mass

0:27:39 > 0:27:41and he just started to fly. There's some amazing saints out there.

0:27:41 > 0:27:43There is the patron saint of the internet.

0:27:43 > 0:27:44Robert Webb.

0:27:51 > 0:27:53Congratulations, Josh's team.

0:27:53 > 0:27:55You win the Jo.

0:27:59 > 0:28:01So we've come to the end of the show

0:28:01 > 0:28:05and I can tell you that tonight's winners with the most Jos are

0:28:05 > 0:28:06Team Richard!

0:28:10 > 0:28:12So very, very big moment.

0:28:12 > 0:28:16Richard, who are you nominating as the best Jo of all time?

0:28:16 > 0:28:18I'm going for someone who's brought pleasure

0:28:18 > 0:28:20to millions and millions of people.

0:28:20 > 0:28:21I think will do for many years to come.

0:28:21 > 0:28:24I would say best Jo of all time - JK Rowling.

0:28:24 > 0:28:26I couldn't agree more.

0:28:29 > 0:28:30But, before we leave,

0:28:30 > 0:28:33Richard, please accept your very own

0:28:33 > 0:28:35vibrating broomstick.

0:28:40 > 0:28:42There you go. That's it for tonight.

0:28:42 > 0:28:45Enjoy that. It has been used. My thanks to all my guests.

0:28:45 > 0:28:50Special thanks to all the Jos here, there and everywhere

0:28:50 > 0:28:54and thanks to you at home for watching. Goodnight.

0:29:29 > 0:29:31As we'll be discussing, cosmologists are studying...

0:29:31 > 0:29:33The way the French feel about Joan of Arc.

0:29:33 > 0:29:34This explains why...