0:00:19 > 0:00:22CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:00:24 > 0:00:27Hello, and welcome to Insert Name Here,
0:00:27 > 0:00:32the show where we discover surprising facts about people with just one thing in common,
0:00:32 > 0:00:33they've all got the same name.
0:00:33 > 0:00:36Joining me are six of my favourite people, all differently named,
0:00:36 > 0:00:38but all equally easy on the eye.
0:00:38 > 0:00:41They are Danny Baker and Kate Williams and their team captain, Josh Widdicombe.
0:00:41 > 0:00:44And over on the other side, Gabby Logan,
0:00:44 > 0:00:46Adil Ray and their captain, Richard Osman.
0:00:46 > 0:00:49CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:00:56 > 0:00:58Now, Danny, let's start with you,
0:00:58 > 0:01:00it's fair to say that you've come across some very odd names in your
0:01:00 > 0:01:03- journey of life. What's the strangest?- Mine?- Most exotic.
0:01:03 > 0:01:04I did, on the radio,
0:01:04 > 0:01:08and I have been doing a thing we called the exotic register, where we
0:01:08 > 0:01:11ask people to call up and say the names that they envy.
0:01:11 > 0:01:14There was a woman and she was in the Philippines and she said my name is
0:01:14 > 0:01:16Usanavy and I said, OK.
0:01:16 > 0:01:19She went but the point is we lived by the docks
0:01:19 > 0:01:23and my dad spoke no English but you'd see these big ships coming in
0:01:23 > 0:01:24with USA Navy on the back.
0:01:24 > 0:01:29He named her Usanavy. That was her name!
0:01:29 > 0:01:33Well, so to the all-important question of the evening,
0:01:33 > 0:01:36which name we'll be featuring tonight?
0:01:36 > 0:01:38Usanavy.
0:01:39 > 0:01:42Well, they can have the force of a hurricane or just give you
0:01:42 > 0:01:45the hairdryer treatment because tonight's name is...
0:01:45 > 0:01:46Alex.
0:01:46 > 0:01:49Oh!
0:01:50 > 0:01:54Of course, Alex tonight is going to include Alexander, Alexandra and Alexis.
0:01:54 > 0:01:57Along the way, our teams are going to be collecting as many Alexes as they can.
0:01:57 > 0:02:01At the end the winning team will have the honour of deciding who is
0:02:01 > 0:02:03officially the greatest Alex of all time,
0:02:03 > 0:02:06and that person will then be inducted into our
0:02:06 > 0:02:08Insert Name Hall of Fame.
0:02:08 > 0:02:12There isn't a living thing... I don't know why I'm gesturing, I just wanted to do it.
0:02:12 > 0:02:15I was hoping for a sound effect and a lighting change.
0:02:15 > 0:02:17I actually turned around then!
0:02:17 > 0:02:21So, any early thoughts who might be the greatest Alex of all time.
0:02:21 > 0:02:26- Josh?- Well, there's a guy who carries an afternoon quiz show.
0:02:28 > 0:02:30- Oh, he's good.- He is good.
0:02:30 > 0:02:33Oh, he's got it all, he's got it all.
0:02:33 > 0:02:34Alexander Armstrong.
0:02:34 > 0:02:37- RICHARD:- I tell you what, if that got sold to Channel 4 he would stay,
0:02:37 > 0:02:39I guarantee that.
0:02:39 > 0:02:42He would. He'd take the money. I'd be at the BBC.
0:02:45 > 0:02:48Now, Richard, who is your favourite Alex of all time?
0:02:48 > 0:02:50There's a certain Alex who absolutely carries,
0:02:50 > 0:02:53I don't know if there's a Channel 4 late night comedy show called
0:02:53 > 0:02:55The Last Leg...
0:02:55 > 0:02:58LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:02:59 > 0:03:02Right. Time to crack on with the show.
0:03:02 > 0:03:04Time to pick an Alex, any Alex.
0:03:04 > 0:03:06Our panellists will choose a category
0:03:06 > 0:03:08behind which lurks a famous face
0:03:08 > 0:03:10which our teams must then attempt to win.
0:03:10 > 0:03:14So, what have we got? We've got a great Alex, a really great Alex,
0:03:14 > 0:03:17the greatest Alex, and grated Alex.
0:03:17 > 0:03:20So, Richard's team, care to pick a category?
0:03:20 > 0:03:22Let's go for great Alex, please.
0:03:22 > 0:03:26You've gone for a Macedonian leader, horseman and drinker,
0:03:26 > 0:03:30Alexander the Great. Any relation, Josh?
0:03:33 > 0:03:36OK, let's have a look at Alexander's stats.
0:03:48 > 0:03:51Alexander had it all, he's been immortalised in many sculptures,
0:03:51 > 0:03:54like this one. And this one.
0:03:54 > 0:03:57- Oh, hello.- Hello.- And this one.
0:03:57 > 0:04:00- Whoa!- That's Howard from Take That, I think.
0:04:03 > 0:04:04The one on the right reminds me,
0:04:04 > 0:04:09- do you remember the video to Lionel Richie, Hello? - LAUGHTER
0:04:09 > 0:04:12At its peak, the fourth century BC,
0:04:12 > 0:04:14Alexander's Empire crossed three continents
0:04:14 > 0:04:17and covered around two million square miles,
0:04:17 > 0:04:21but what unusual form of transport did Alexander pioneer?
0:04:21 > 0:04:24Segway!
0:04:24 > 0:04:27- The bendy bus.- A bendy bus? - A bendy bus!
0:04:27 > 0:04:30I'll give you a clue, it was underwater.
0:04:30 > 0:04:33- JOSH:- Submarine. - RICHARD:- Underwater space hopper.
0:04:33 > 0:04:35- It was a submarine.- No.- What?- I'm telling you it was a submarine.
0:04:35 > 0:04:37Let's have a look.
0:04:38 > 0:04:40This is a picture from 1402, I've seen it.
0:04:40 > 0:04:44And that's his unfaithful wife trying to cut the cord so he drops down,
0:04:44 > 0:04:47so he's at risk of dying but he's got his secret weapons,
0:04:47 > 0:04:50which is the dog, the cat and the cock.
0:04:50 > 0:04:52Hah!
0:04:52 > 0:04:56- Here we go.- He's got the cat because it's meant to be a re-breather so...
0:04:56 > 0:05:00Kate, Kate, you said cock, no-one's listening any more.
0:05:00 > 0:05:02Sorry, the cat was a re-breather?
0:05:02 > 0:05:05- The cat was a re-breather. - What, like an inhaler?
0:05:05 > 0:05:09Like the way trees take in CO2 and breathe out oxygen,
0:05:09 > 0:05:10that's what the cat was doing.
0:05:10 > 0:05:13So they thought that cats breathed in carbon dioxide
0:05:13 > 0:05:15- and breathed out oxygen. - Pretty much, yes.
0:05:15 > 0:05:18- Oops. - And so the dog,
0:05:18 > 0:05:20what happens is as the air-quality gets bad,
0:05:20 > 0:05:22if the cat's not breathing hard enough, the dog will die,
0:05:22 > 0:05:24so Alexander will realise it's time to come up.
0:05:24 > 0:05:27- So they're like the canary. - Yes.- The canary down the mine.
0:05:27 > 0:05:30The canary, Sue, that's it! The cock is supposed to be the compass.
0:05:30 > 0:05:34- Oh...- Oh...- Oh, yes. Oh, yes. - LAUGHTER
0:05:34 > 0:05:36You got that all right!
0:05:38 > 0:05:41- Yours is pointing due north, innit, mate?- Exactly.
0:05:41 > 0:05:43Anyfink you want, love!
0:05:44 > 0:05:48The cat's the re-breather and the dog's the canary so in this picture,
0:05:48 > 0:05:51because she, the evil wife, is trying to cut Alexander adrift
0:05:51 > 0:05:54so he drowns in that very deep sea...
0:05:54 > 0:05:57- Yes.- Alexander is too wise to this woman so he kills the dog
0:05:57 > 0:06:01and as a consequence the bathysphere pops up and he lives forever,
0:06:01 > 0:06:04so that is the medieval version of Alexander's submarine.
0:06:04 > 0:06:06- Wow.- Oh.- And he's here tonight...
0:06:07 > 0:06:09Alexander, a famously heavy drinker.
0:06:09 > 0:06:13Part of Macedonian life to worship the God Dionysus and Macedonia was
0:06:13 > 0:06:16famous for its all-male drinking clubs called symposia.
0:06:16 > 0:06:19Now, some members of these symposia had special drinking privileges.
0:06:19 > 0:06:22What did they have to do to get them?
0:06:22 > 0:06:25Nobody knows because the first rule of Macedonian drinking club...
0:06:25 > 0:06:27What happens stays...
0:06:29 > 0:06:30I mean, I'll give you a clue,
0:06:30 > 0:06:32they were hunting, shooting, fishing types,
0:06:32 > 0:06:34- so what would you do to... - Hunt, shoot, fish?
0:06:34 > 0:06:35Yes! They would have to hunt.
0:06:35 > 0:06:37- What would they have to kill? - A boar.
0:06:37 > 0:06:39- Fish.- Fish.- A boar, correct.
0:06:39 > 0:06:43I've got a reputation kind of being, you know...
0:06:43 > 0:06:46sort of butch. Anyway...
0:06:48 > 0:06:50Nothing could be...
0:06:50 > 0:06:53Never has anyone backed out of a sentence more than...
0:06:53 > 0:06:55Nothing could be further from the truth.
0:06:55 > 0:06:59You know you're not Danny Dyer, don't you, you know that?
0:06:59 > 0:07:02I have no traditional masculine skills at all
0:07:02 > 0:07:05and it's actually notorious in our family. My wife used to say,
0:07:05 > 0:07:08you must be able to put that up and it was a little bedside table,
0:07:08 > 0:07:10which I thought, I ain't that useless,
0:07:10 > 0:07:14so I'm sitting on the floor in the end and I've turned it upside down
0:07:14 > 0:07:17to put in the very last...and I've done it and I've shouted "when"!
0:07:17 > 0:07:20And it was pretty good, it was solid, it was pretty good,
0:07:20 > 0:07:22and I sat beside it and she come down and I said...
0:07:22 > 0:07:27And I went to stand up and I'd screwed my sock into the floor.
0:07:33 > 0:07:36Alexander died in 323 BC.
0:07:36 > 0:07:38- Oh, spoiler!- Sorry.
0:07:38 > 0:07:41Two years before his body was brought back from Babylon to Macedonia,
0:07:41 > 0:07:44- how did they preserve the body? - Was it Oil Of Olay?
0:07:44 > 0:07:47Oh, no, sorry, it would have been Oil Of Ulay at that point.
0:07:47 > 0:07:53Yes. Guaranteed to get rid of the seven signs of ageing, but not death, sadly.
0:07:53 > 0:07:57- It's one of the key signs of ageing, death.- It is.
0:07:57 > 0:08:00I read that, sorry, it may or may not be true,
0:08:00 > 0:08:05but that after 80, you stop, you've lost all your elasticity by then,
0:08:05 > 0:08:08so any kind of sagginess and wrinkles that you have at 80,
0:08:08 > 0:08:10it won't get any worse.
0:08:10 > 0:08:13- Oh!- Which is good news, because I'm from a family of centurions.
0:08:13 > 0:08:16I've got three relatives who've gone over 100.
0:08:16 > 0:08:19- Centurions or centenarians? - I'm calling them centurions.
0:08:19 > 0:08:23LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:08:25 > 0:08:28In my mind, I thought you were raised by those people
0:08:28 > 0:08:31who were half man, half horse.
0:08:31 > 0:08:34Centaur!
0:08:34 > 0:08:38Do you know how many people in United Kingdom are aged over 105?
0:08:38 > 0:08:40I do, yeah.
0:08:46 > 0:08:48Go on, how many?
0:08:48 > 0:08:49- 850.- 850!
0:08:49 > 0:08:54Really? Oh, no, I've got some bad news for you.
0:08:54 > 0:08:56848.
0:08:56 > 0:08:59So, come on, let's get back to how they preserved the body?
0:08:59 > 0:09:01- How do you think?- Fat. I know this one, vat of fat.
0:09:01 > 0:09:03- Urine.- Honey.- Honey it is.
0:09:03 > 0:09:05A vat of honey which is still available today
0:09:05 > 0:09:08if you go to the Co-op and order the Winnie the Pooh funeral plan.
0:09:11 > 0:09:13Now it's time to play for the Alex.
0:09:13 > 0:09:19What did Alexander first come across at the Battle of Gaugamela in 331 BC?
0:09:19 > 0:09:21At a battle? What would you come across?
0:09:21 > 0:09:22- Persians with spears. - Elephants.
0:09:22 > 0:09:26- Elephants it is! - Whoa!- Well done. Boom, sir.
0:09:26 > 0:09:28I backed the wrong horse!
0:09:28 > 0:09:31- Elephant.- Elephant, of course. - It was indeed.
0:09:31 > 0:09:33- He'd never seen them before.- Yeah.
0:09:33 > 0:09:37He decided when he saw them to create his own magnificent elephant army.
0:09:37 > 0:09:42Here is a depiction of Alexander being presented with a herd of elephants.
0:09:42 > 0:09:45LOUD GUFFAWS
0:09:45 > 0:09:46Literally, what?
0:09:46 > 0:09:49Yes, that was painted by someone with only the vaguest idea
0:09:49 > 0:09:51of what an elephant might look like.
0:09:51 > 0:09:54Literally, the first thing he said was,
0:09:54 > 0:09:56we're going to need a bigger submarine.
0:09:56 > 0:10:00Well done, Josh's team, you win the Alex.
0:10:00 > 0:10:03- There you go, boom! - Well done, Danny.
0:10:03 > 0:10:05Well done.
0:10:05 > 0:10:08Right, Josh, it's your turn, time to pick an Alex.
0:10:08 > 0:10:12We've got a really great Alex, the greatest Alex and grated Alex.
0:10:12 > 0:10:15I'm going to go with a grated Alex.
0:10:15 > 0:10:17- Oh!- So you have chosen grated Alex,
0:10:17 > 0:10:21it is Blur bassist turned Oxfordshire cheeseologist,
0:10:21 > 0:10:23Alex James.
0:10:23 > 0:10:25So let's have a look at his stats.
0:10:38 > 0:10:42And as we all know Alex found fame with Blur.
0:10:42 > 0:10:45There he is. Now, you consider yourself a bit of an expert on Blur.
0:10:45 > 0:10:47Oh, yeah, they were my Mastermind subject, Blur.
0:10:47 > 0:10:49- No!- Yeah.
0:10:49 > 0:10:50Really? When did you win? You won?
0:10:50 > 0:10:53Only Celebrity Mastermind, not like normal.
0:10:53 > 0:10:56- That is...- Not like clever people Mastermind.
0:10:56 > 0:10:57No. They make it a lot easier!
0:10:57 > 0:11:01I beat someone from Emmerdale and then afterwards she said to me,
0:11:01 > 0:11:03- "Your questions were easier." - Oh!- Does she?
0:11:03 > 0:11:05No-one likes a sour farmer.
0:11:05 > 0:11:10- No.- So you went on Mastermind, I know this,
0:11:10 > 0:11:13- and you scored 11 points on Blur. - I scored 11/13.
0:11:13 > 0:11:16But we are going to have our own mini Mastermind.
0:11:16 > 0:11:18- Uh-oh.- Oh, no.- Now. - Oh, wow.
0:11:18 > 0:11:21MASTERMIND THEME PLAYS
0:11:21 > 0:11:24Oh, I wasn't told about this and I don't approve of it...
0:11:26 > 0:11:30So, your specialised subject is your very own appearance on Mastermind.
0:11:30 > 0:11:33Oh, my God!
0:11:33 > 0:11:35Your question is...
0:11:35 > 0:11:40What did you say when you were told you'd scored 11 points?
0:11:40 > 0:11:43Oh. I don't know and I don't want to know!
0:11:43 > 0:11:46Would you,
0:11:46 > 0:11:49would you like us to illuminate you as to what...
0:11:49 > 0:11:51You're not going to show the clip, are you?
0:11:51 > 0:11:54Well, I think we might.
0:11:54 > 0:11:57There we are. You got 11 points.
0:11:57 > 0:11:58Bah!
0:11:58 > 0:12:01LAUGHTER
0:12:01 > 0:12:04Well, what's that? That's not a word.
0:12:04 > 0:12:06It's not a word, it's an ejaculation.
0:12:06 > 0:12:10- It is.- Well, that would have been far worse on Mastermind!
0:12:10 > 0:12:14Although, to be honest, when I won, I was close.
0:12:14 > 0:12:17Did he say you've started so you can finish?
0:12:17 > 0:12:20LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:12:22 > 0:12:26So in the early days Blur obviously went by the name of...
0:12:26 > 0:12:28- Seymour.- Seymour, exactly.
0:12:28 > 0:12:31What did the band do before they went on stage?
0:12:31 > 0:12:35- What was their...?- Was it an enormous amount of cocaine?
0:12:35 > 0:12:37That may have featured but it's not on the card.
0:12:37 > 0:12:38I don't know.
0:12:38 > 0:12:41- You don't know.- It's not drinking lots of champagne?
0:12:41 > 0:12:44- No, well, they got drunk and they... - Alcohol is involved.
0:12:44 > 0:12:47Oh, did they just do an antiseptic hand wipe?
0:12:52 > 0:12:55Did they have an alcoholic footbath they walked through, like you do the
0:12:55 > 0:12:56swimming pool to stop veruccas?
0:12:56 > 0:13:00You know what, I'm going to give you that because it's actually not too far off it.
0:13:00 > 0:13:04They basically poured wine all over themselves.
0:13:04 > 0:13:06- Oh!- Really? - Alex said...
0:13:23 > 0:13:26So, Alex James and Graham Coxon were absent for a performance on Italian TV.
0:13:26 > 0:13:29- Who replaced them? - Was it Mel and Sue?
0:13:29 > 0:13:31That time may well come.
0:13:32 > 0:13:36There's a few windows in the diary, unexpectedly.
0:13:36 > 0:13:39If Alex and Graham ring me and say we're supposed to be on Italian TV,
0:13:39 > 0:13:41we can't be arsed, Mel and I will go, we're there.
0:13:41 > 0:13:44Oh, so you're going to ITALIAN TV, that's fine, is it?
0:13:44 > 0:13:47LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:13:52 > 0:13:55Think inanimate objects.
0:13:55 > 0:13:56One of their replacements was inanimate.
0:13:56 > 0:14:01- Oh, Paul McCartney? - That's not fair.
0:14:01 > 0:14:05It was a roadie and a cardboard cutout.
0:14:05 > 0:14:08Alex James always insisted on three bottles of champagne
0:14:08 > 0:14:12being put in his dressing room before a gig, that was his rider.
0:14:12 > 0:14:13What did he demand go with it?
0:14:13 > 0:14:16Another three bottles of champagne.
0:14:16 > 0:14:18Is it a carrot?
0:14:18 > 0:14:20- It is a carrot! - It's a carrot.
0:14:20 > 0:14:23How do you know this stuff?!
0:14:23 > 0:14:26- Bravo.- I'm an expert and I don't know this stuff.
0:14:26 > 0:14:29He thought that it would get rid of any kind of breath smells
0:14:29 > 0:14:32- if he would eat a carrot.- He did indeed. Absolutely right.
0:14:32 > 0:14:35He basically said that drinking champagne made your breath smell,
0:14:35 > 0:14:38but a carrot, grated carrot after it, neutralised it.
0:14:38 > 0:14:40Have you ever met a drunk rabbit?
0:14:40 > 0:14:43- Never!- No.- You just don't know though, do you, Gabby?
0:14:43 > 0:14:45You don't know what they're masking.
0:14:45 > 0:14:47Maybe they're not meant to hop like that.
0:14:49 > 0:14:53Right. Alex spends a lot of his time in the company of women.
0:14:53 > 0:14:57What was his chat up line to supermodel Helena Christensen?
0:14:57 > 0:14:59Fancy a carrot?
0:15:00 > 0:15:03She's from Denmark, so did he say something along the lines of
0:15:03 > 0:15:05I've always fancied a Danish?
0:15:05 > 0:15:07Oh!
0:15:07 > 0:15:11- Smooth!- If he was going for the Denmark puns did he offer her a leg-over?
0:15:11 > 0:15:13Wa-hey!
0:15:13 > 0:15:16- Lego.- That got less than it deserved, Josh.
0:15:16 > 0:15:18Do you know what, I thought this was the best thing I've ever said,
0:15:18 > 0:15:21- and it didn't prove to be the case. - I enjoyed it!
0:15:21 > 0:15:24She'd have said though, you go and Lurpak your bags.
0:15:24 > 0:15:27- Hooray! - Are you kidding me?
0:15:31 > 0:15:34I'll tell you what he said, he said, "God, I think you're beautiful.
0:15:34 > 0:15:36"Do you like cheese?"
0:15:36 > 0:15:40Time now to play for the Alex.
0:15:40 > 0:15:43James, famous for creating Artisan cheeses from his Oxfordshire farm,
0:15:43 > 0:15:46as a tribute to Alex we'll have a little cheese tasting.
0:15:46 > 0:15:49Here it is... There you go, one for you, my lovely.
0:15:49 > 0:15:51And...
0:15:51 > 0:15:53- Thank you so much. - That's for you, darling.
0:15:53 > 0:15:55Now, according to the makers...
0:16:07 > 0:16:10Is one of the words "cheese?"
0:16:10 > 0:16:12- It's not cheese.- A hint of cheese.
0:16:12 > 0:16:15Is it Earth, wind, with a hint of fire?
0:16:15 > 0:16:16It's boozy.
0:16:16 > 0:16:18Think of booze, what could the booze be?
0:16:18 > 0:16:20- Vodka.- Vodka.- Think Napoleonic.
0:16:20 > 0:16:22- Brandy.- Brandy.- Correct.
0:16:22 > 0:16:24There is a nut in there, can you give us the nut?
0:16:24 > 0:16:26- Walnut.- Nutty.- Walnut. - Almonds, Almonds.
0:16:26 > 0:16:29- Indeed. Oh, indeed! - Bloody hell.- Just the last one.
0:16:29 > 0:16:32There's something musty that could give you a rise.
0:16:32 > 0:16:33- Yeast.- Yeasty.
0:16:33 > 0:16:35Well done. Correct.
0:16:35 > 0:16:38Yeasty, almondy, with a hint of brandy.
0:16:38 > 0:16:40That is exactly right. OK, well done,
0:16:40 > 0:16:42by finishing it off you got the Alex!
0:16:42 > 0:16:45Well done, Richard.
0:16:47 > 0:16:48Richard, your turn.
0:16:48 > 0:16:54Your turn to pick an Alex, a really great Alex or the greatest Alex.
0:16:54 > 0:16:57I think we'll go for the greatest Alex.
0:16:57 > 0:17:01You've picked the most successful Premier League manager ever,
0:17:01 > 0:17:05with 49 trophies, Sir Alex Ferguson.
0:17:05 > 0:17:07Let's have a look at his stats.
0:17:18 > 0:17:21The legend that is Sir Alex Ferguson,
0:17:21 > 0:17:23or, as this guy remembers him,
0:17:23 > 0:17:26Sir Alex FEGUSON...
0:17:26 > 0:17:28Off you pop to Tattoo Fixers.
0:17:28 > 0:17:31He was born on New Year's Eve, 1941, brought up in Govan, Glasgow,
0:17:31 > 0:17:34struggled at school, especially, this will come as no surprise,
0:17:34 > 0:17:37with authority. And in 2001,
0:17:37 > 0:17:39what did his teacher, Bill Dobie,
0:17:39 > 0:17:42sell to an antiques dealer for 55 quid?
0:17:42 > 0:17:45Was it Jaap Stam?
0:17:49 > 0:17:52- His bad report?- No. - His homework?- No.
0:17:52 > 0:17:53Was it an art, a bit of art?
0:17:53 > 0:17:56- No, it's not. - Like a detention record?
0:17:56 > 0:17:59It was something to do with punishment, it is punishment.
0:17:59 > 0:18:02- Was it his cane?- I'll give you that, yes, indeed.
0:18:02 > 0:18:05Colour of buttocks, bright red, as it goes.
0:18:05 > 0:18:10It was the belt, actually, that he used to beat Alex Ferguson with.
0:18:10 > 0:18:12Isn't that horrific? It is horrific.
0:18:12 > 0:18:16At Aberdeen his players gave him the nickname Furious Fergie.
0:18:16 > 0:18:19Ferguson fined one of his Aberdeen players, John Hewitt,
0:18:19 > 0:18:20for an unusual transgression.
0:18:20 > 0:18:23- What had he'd done wrong?- Was it on the pitch or off the pitch?
0:18:23 > 0:18:25No, it was off the pitch actually.
0:18:25 > 0:18:27- Oh...- He didn't leave his things tidy enough?
0:18:27 > 0:18:30No. He overtook Ferguson on a public road.
0:18:32 > 0:18:35- Just overtook him.- He fined him? - What, for overtaking him?
0:18:35 > 0:18:37- For overtaking him.- Was he speeding?
0:18:37 > 0:18:40Well, nowadays they would kill for three points, Man U.
0:18:40 > 0:18:43GROANS AND CHEERS
0:18:47 > 0:18:49You must have had dealings with him, Gabby, did you?
0:18:49 > 0:18:51- Yeah, yeah, yeah.- Was he scary?
0:18:51 > 0:18:54I sat next to him once at a charity dinner and Roy Keane was there,
0:18:54 > 0:18:56he still played for Manchester United.
0:18:56 > 0:18:59Oh, my God, that is my nightmare table.
0:18:59 > 0:19:03Turn up at a wedding and you are between Alex Ferguson and Roy Keane.
0:19:03 > 0:19:06- RICHARD:- They probably wouldn't be delighted either.
0:19:08 > 0:19:111999, Ferguson was found not guilty of illegally driving
0:19:11 > 0:19:15on a motorway hard shoulder. What was the excuse that he gave?
0:19:15 > 0:19:17He needed the toilet, he had some bowel condition.
0:19:17 > 0:19:21He had some bowel, he had a bowel.
0:19:21 > 0:19:23And a need to evacuate it.
0:19:23 > 0:19:25- No.- Yes, that is absolutely right.
0:19:25 > 0:19:27He said he was caught short?
0:19:27 > 0:19:31So you are saying that Alex Ferguson had a shit on the hard shoulder?
0:19:31 > 0:19:33- No.- Imagine driving past that.
0:19:33 > 0:19:37You're not going to believe what I've just seen...
0:19:37 > 0:19:41There's a seven mile tailback because people are looking at Alex Ferguson.
0:19:41 > 0:19:45- RICHARD:- The traffic stops because no-one is allowed to overtake him.
0:19:45 > 0:19:47They're all just waiting him out...
0:19:47 > 0:19:51As he's foraging for leaves on the hard shoulder...
0:19:53 > 0:19:56Oh, that's my favourite thing we've ever talked about on this show.
0:19:56 > 0:19:58He told Bury magistrates, because it went that far,
0:19:58 > 0:20:00it did go to Magistrate's Court,
0:20:00 > 0:20:03he had been experiencing stomach cramps the night before,
0:20:03 > 0:20:06when he got on the M602 he started to feel the cramps again
0:20:06 > 0:20:08and he had no choice but to use the hard shoulder
0:20:08 > 0:20:09to get off the motorway.
0:20:09 > 0:20:12M602 of course is now rhyming slang.
0:20:22 > 0:20:24Now time to play for the Alex.
0:20:24 > 0:20:27We will return to Fergie's legendary hairdryer treatment,
0:20:27 > 0:20:29specifically the famous dressing room incident
0:20:29 > 0:20:33in which he kicked a boot, which cut David Beckham's eyebrow.
0:20:33 > 0:20:36How did they mark this event in Hong Kong?
0:20:36 > 0:20:39Is there some kind of tableau, waxwork?
0:20:39 > 0:20:41A waxwork is exactly right, well done, Danny.
0:20:45 > 0:20:48This was at the Hong Kong Madame Tussaud's,
0:20:48 > 0:20:51the plaster and fake blood were removed once Beckham's wound had fully healed.
0:20:51 > 0:20:54Congratulations and well done,
0:20:54 > 0:20:57because Josh's team, you win the Alex.
0:21:00 > 0:21:03So, time now to fire up our Alex flavoured fruit machine.
0:21:03 > 0:21:05Each spin will reveal three faces.
0:21:05 > 0:21:08Our teams must then match the extraordinary fact
0:21:08 > 0:21:11to the extraordinary Alex. Right, let us spin.
0:21:11 > 0:21:13First up we have got Princess Alexandra,
0:21:13 > 0:21:19mystic and mentalist Alexander the crystal seer and Obi-Wan Kenobi,
0:21:19 > 0:21:21Alec Guinness.
0:21:21 > 0:21:25Who predicted that James Dean would die in a car crash
0:21:25 > 0:21:27one week before he died in a car crash?
0:21:27 > 0:21:30Now, Josh's team, you're going to get to choose this one.
0:21:30 > 0:21:31- Oh, that's spooky, isn't it? - Ooh...
0:21:31 > 0:21:34I'd suggest it's got to be Alec Guinness.
0:21:34 > 0:21:37- Because...- He's like Yoda.
0:21:37 > 0:21:39It's too obvious...
0:21:39 > 0:21:41I mean I'm not an expert on Star Wars
0:21:41 > 0:21:44but I'm pretty sure the character he plays isn't Yoda.
0:21:44 > 0:21:45Yeah.
0:21:45 > 0:21:48I would suggest it's Alec Guinness because he's in the same profession.
0:21:48 > 0:21:51And it's too obvious to have the middle one, is that what we are saying?
0:21:51 > 0:21:55It's too obvious... The Queen's cousin, why would she be talking about James Dean?
0:21:55 > 0:21:59I don't know, but I can imagine Alec Guinness saying, "Son, you had better be careful in that car."
0:21:59 > 0:22:02All right, you want to go with Alec Guinness, who are you going to go for, guys?
0:22:02 > 0:22:05I don't know, the one in the middle does seem a bit too obvious.
0:22:05 > 0:22:06- A bit obvious. - And Princess Alexandra,
0:22:06 > 0:22:09we don't know much about her, she's not one of the most prominent royals,
0:22:09 > 0:22:12maybe that's because she's got an embarrassing habit
0:22:12 > 0:22:14of predicting high-profile deaths.
0:22:14 > 0:22:17Possible, possible. The Queen in the '50s famously had
0:22:17 > 0:22:19an affair with James Dean.
0:22:19 > 0:22:20Very famously.
0:22:20 > 0:22:24And so perhaps Princess Alexandra got a whiff of that and just said,
0:22:24 > 0:22:26you know, "He's going to die within a week."
0:22:26 > 0:22:28They found one of his leather jackets, didn't they, in the Palace.
0:22:28 > 0:22:31- Yeah, in the Palace. - That's how they knew.
0:22:31 > 0:22:33Yeah, and Philip said "Whose is this?"
0:22:33 > 0:22:35And she went, "Oh, I think it's the Chinese ambassador."
0:22:35 > 0:22:37And he was like, "Hmm, I don't know."
0:22:37 > 0:22:40The following week James Dean was spotted on a chat show in the States,
0:22:40 > 0:22:41it was Here's Johnny or something,
0:22:41 > 0:22:44just wearing his white T-shirt with no leather jacket.
0:22:44 > 0:22:47Yeah, and Johnny Carson said, "Where's your jacket, boy?" And James Dean had no answer.
0:22:47 > 0:22:49- He went, "Erm, er..." - "Don't know."
0:22:49 > 0:22:53And then rushed home and then the rest is history.
0:22:53 > 0:22:56LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:22:57 > 0:23:02All right, so you are saying Alexandra, let's see - the correct answer is...
0:23:02 > 0:23:05CHEERING
0:23:09 > 0:23:12He went out to dinner with Dean, who showed him his brand-new car.
0:23:12 > 0:23:15Alec Guinness said to James Dean, to his face,
0:23:15 > 0:23:17that if he went out in that car he would be dead in a week,
0:23:17 > 0:23:20and sure enough he died a week later.
0:23:20 > 0:23:23Spooky, that is.
0:23:23 > 0:23:26Josh. Congratulations, you win the Alex.
0:23:29 > 0:23:32So, we're spinning, we're spinning, we're spinning,
0:23:32 > 0:23:37and we have got Scottish political firebrand Alex Salmond.
0:23:37 > 0:23:40The other one off Pointless, Alexander Armstrong,
0:23:40 > 0:23:44and cage fighter and Katie Price ex-husband Alex Reid.
0:23:44 > 0:23:47The question is which Alex was such a big fan of Star Trek
0:23:47 > 0:23:51that they used to stand in front of the mirror with a clothes peg
0:23:51 > 0:23:54on their eyebrow whilst perfecting their impersonation of Mr Spock?
0:23:54 > 0:23:57Interesting that all three of those are ex-husbands of Katie Price.
0:24:01 > 0:24:03Is it likely to be Alexander Armstrong?
0:24:03 > 0:24:07I think it wouldn't be because he will crack open an impression
0:24:07 > 0:24:10at any time and he's never done a Mr Spock.
0:24:10 > 0:24:12Or has he? Oh, no, hold on, he does it a lot.
0:24:12 > 0:24:15No, he does Mr Spock a lot and he has always got the clothes peg,
0:24:15 > 0:24:19- but I don't think we'll go for him.- Alex Salmond would be...
0:24:19 > 0:24:21- Right age group. - I'd be leaning towards him.
0:24:21 > 0:24:24- Shall we go for Alex Salmond? - Yeah, I think it's Alex Salmond.
0:24:24 > 0:24:27Alex Salmond, although Xander, I'm telling you now for a fact...
0:24:27 > 0:24:29- Always does it.- Does a lot of impressions of Spock.
0:24:29 > 0:24:31So you're saying Alex Salmond.
0:24:31 > 0:24:33Josh's team? Who are you going for?
0:24:33 > 0:24:35Well, it's Xander, we've got all the facts.
0:24:35 > 0:24:37Well, Richard tried put us off the scent.
0:24:37 > 0:24:39If it was Alexander Armstrong he might have,
0:24:39 > 0:24:42rather than put us off the scent he might have gone with it himself.
0:24:42 > 0:24:43Exactly, that's what I mean.
0:24:43 > 0:24:47He's not trying to close the game out for a 0-0!
0:24:47 > 0:24:49You know what,
0:24:49 > 0:24:51I'm going to go with Alexander Armstrong
0:24:51 > 0:24:53just to double bluff the double bluff.
0:24:53 > 0:24:56Let's see what the right answer is?
0:24:56 > 0:24:59Alex Salmond.
0:24:59 > 0:25:03Richard, you, congratulations, win the Alex.
0:25:03 > 0:25:05Right, everybody, let's play Finish The Fact.
0:25:05 > 0:25:08I'm going to start by reading out an Alex-based gem.
0:25:08 > 0:25:11You have to buzz in when you think you know how it ends.
0:25:11 > 0:25:15First up, Three Musketeers writer, Alexandre Dumas.
0:25:20 > 0:25:23BELL
0:25:23 > 0:25:24Was it only to discover
0:25:24 > 0:25:28that all Americans pronounced his name "dumb ass?"
0:25:28 > 0:25:32- BELL - Did he discover the real duel was against Shadow from Gladiators
0:25:32 > 0:25:34using pugil sticks?
0:25:34 > 0:25:37No, but I'll give you that because actually...
0:25:37 > 0:25:38Will you?!
0:25:40 > 0:25:44No, I'll give it you because it's true that they didn't use pistols.
0:25:44 > 0:25:47Dumas won the fight despite...
0:25:47 > 0:25:49- BELL - Despite what? Danny?
0:25:49 > 0:25:53The other man having a pen, so there goes that phrase.
0:25:53 > 0:25:55What was the worst thing that can happen during a duel,
0:25:55 > 0:25:57apart from being killed?
0:25:57 > 0:26:01- BELL - Oh, is it despite being French?
0:26:01 > 0:26:03- RICHARD:- That is the worst thing. - Didn't he drop his sword?
0:26:03 > 0:26:06He didn't drop his sword, he dropped something else.
0:26:06 > 0:26:10- His trousers.- His trousers. - Indeed, his trousers fell down
0:26:10 > 0:26:13because despite...
0:26:13 > 0:26:15Oh, it was that kind of sword fight.
0:26:15 > 0:26:18Despite the cold weather, Dumas agreed to remove his cloak
0:26:18 > 0:26:20and upper clothing for the duel,
0:26:20 > 0:26:23only to have his braceless trousers fall down,
0:26:23 > 0:26:25causing bystanders to laugh out loud.
0:26:25 > 0:26:29Congratulations, Josh, you win the Alex.
0:26:32 > 0:26:35Next up, fashion design Alexander McQueen.
0:26:39 > 0:26:42- BELL - A bespoke potato.
0:26:43 > 0:26:46- BUZZER - It was Prince Charles, I think.
0:26:46 > 0:26:49It was Prince Charles. Absolutely was Prince Charles.
0:26:52 > 0:26:54And, as I say, Prince Charles,
0:26:54 > 0:26:57and hand sewn into the lining, the phrase...
0:26:57 > 0:27:01- BUZZER - Made in Bangladesh.
0:27:01 > 0:27:04I actually do know the answer to this but don't want to say the word
0:27:04 > 0:27:06because I'm collecting an OBE and I really love Prince Charles.
0:27:06 > 0:27:09- I'll say it.- Let me... What, do you want to say it?
0:27:09 > 0:27:11- Oh.- No, I don't want to say it. - Let's nobody say it.
0:27:11 > 0:27:13He actually hand sewed into the lining this phrase...
0:27:14 > 0:27:17- No!- Wow!
0:27:17 > 0:27:19That is absolutely outrageous,
0:27:19 > 0:27:22it should have said, "One is", not "I am".
0:27:23 > 0:27:26Absolutely disgusting.
0:27:26 > 0:27:28Wow.
0:27:28 > 0:27:30But when Charles noticed,
0:27:30 > 0:27:35he immediately phoned Prince Andrew and said, "I think I've got your jacket."
0:27:35 > 0:27:39Congratulations, Richard, you win the Alex. Well done.
0:27:42 > 0:27:45So, we've come to the end of the show and I can now reveal
0:27:45 > 0:27:48the team with the most Alexes is...
0:27:48 > 0:27:50Richard's team!
0:27:52 > 0:27:53Well done.
0:27:56 > 0:27:58Richard, you of course get the big prize,
0:27:58 > 0:28:01you get to name the greatest Alex of all time.
0:28:01 > 0:28:04- It is hard, I think. - What about the...
0:28:04 > 0:28:07- Graham Bell.- Graham Bell, we haven't talked about him at all.
0:28:07 > 0:28:09That's a really good one, he invented the phone.
0:28:09 > 0:28:12- Alexander Graham Bell.- Without that, where would we be?- Exactly.
0:28:12 > 0:28:13That's a really good one.
0:28:13 > 0:28:16We wouldn't be listening to PPI calls every five minutes!
0:28:16 > 0:28:20See, I was going to say Alex Higgins but I think actually will say Alexander Graham Bell.
0:28:20 > 0:28:22Richard, that is a perfect choice,
0:28:22 > 0:28:26not least because he was the really great Alex that you didn't get round to picking in round one,
0:28:26 > 0:28:29so I am delighted to say that Alexander Graham Bell
0:28:29 > 0:28:32is the greatest Alex of all time.
0:28:32 > 0:28:34APPLAUSE
0:28:37 > 0:28:40So let's put him up in the Insert Name Here Hall of Fame.
0:28:40 > 0:28:42Up they go.
0:28:42 > 0:28:43- AUDIENCE:- Whoo!
0:28:43 > 0:28:47Yeah. It really is... It really is just that.
0:28:47 > 0:28:50LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:28:50 > 0:28:53Thank you to all my guests.
0:28:53 > 0:28:55Special thanks to all the Alexes here, there and everywhere
0:28:55 > 0:28:57and thanks most of all to you at home for watching.
0:28:57 > 0:29:00See you soon, goodnight.