0:00:24 > 0:00:27Hello, and welcome to Insert Name Here,
0:00:27 > 0:00:30the show where we discover surprising facts about people
0:00:30 > 0:00:33with just one thing in common - they all have the same name.
0:00:33 > 0:00:35Joining me are six of my favourite people,
0:00:35 > 0:00:37each bringing their own unique name,
0:00:37 > 0:00:40own unique personality, and their own, in some cases, unique smell.
0:00:40 > 0:00:43Please welcome Stephen Mangan, Suzannah Lipscomb,
0:00:43 > 0:00:44and their team Captain, Josh Widdicombe.
0:00:44 > 0:00:47And on the other side, Nish Kumar, Melanie... -
0:00:47 > 0:00:50never can pronounce that name - and their captain, Richard Osman.
0:00:50 > 0:00:52APPLAUSE
0:00:59 > 0:01:00Nish, let's start with you.
0:01:00 > 0:01:02Now, do you like your name?
0:01:02 > 0:01:05- It's a wonderful name, I think. - I do like my name. It's Nish Kumar.
0:01:05 > 0:01:07- It's a great name.- But your grandfather did change his name?
0:01:07 > 0:01:10Yeah, my grandfather did change his name, but he didn't tell anyone
0:01:10 > 0:01:12and it wasn't a small change.
0:01:12 > 0:01:14His name was Methil Narayanan Kutty.
0:01:14 > 0:01:16So he changed it, but didn't tell anybody?
0:01:16 > 0:01:18Yeah, he changed it to Mike, but he didn't tell anybody.
0:01:19 > 0:01:21It's absolutely true.
0:01:21 > 0:01:25We found out when someone called the house and said, "Is Mike there?"
0:01:25 > 0:01:28And my grandmother was like, no, and he was like, "That's for me".
0:01:28 > 0:01:32The all-important question - which name will be featuring tonight?
0:01:32 > 0:01:35Well, they can be holy, hairy, or even contrary.
0:01:35 > 0:01:37Yes, tonight's name is Mary.
0:01:39 > 0:01:43Yes, we're going to be talking about people called Mary,
0:01:43 > 0:01:47also Marie, Maria, and even Marilyn. We're a very broad church.
0:01:47 > 0:01:50Along the way, our teams will be collecting as many Marys as they can
0:01:50 > 0:01:52and at the end of the show, the winning team will have the honour of
0:01:52 > 0:01:56deciding who is officially the greatest Mary of all time.
0:01:56 > 0:01:58That person will then be inducted into our Insert Name Here
0:01:58 > 0:02:01Hall of Fame. Now, Josh, any early thoughts on
0:02:01 > 0:02:03who your greatest Mary might be?
0:02:03 > 0:02:07I'm going to go with, obviously, the greatest Mary of them all.
0:02:07 > 0:02:09- Yeah?- Despite what you say about her backstage, so...
0:02:09 > 0:02:12- Listen... - Mary Berry.- Yes!
0:02:12 > 0:02:14The greatest Mary of all.
0:02:14 > 0:02:15Yeah.
0:02:17 > 0:02:18Richard, how about you?
0:02:18 > 0:02:20We can have Mary, or Marie, or any of the derivations?
0:02:20 > 0:02:22Yes, any derivatives.
0:02:22 > 0:02:25I'm going to go for someone who's a pioneer in her field.
0:02:25 > 0:02:27In the field of chemistry and pharmaceuticals.
0:02:27 > 0:02:29I'm going to go for Maria Sharapova.
0:02:31 > 0:02:33APPLAUSE
0:02:37 > 0:02:39Suzannah, any historical Marys that we should be alerted to
0:02:39 > 0:02:41- at this juncture? - We've got Mary Medina.
0:02:41 > 0:02:43She was the queen of England.
0:02:43 > 0:02:48She gave birth in 1688 in front of perhaps 200 people and...
0:02:48 > 0:02:51- What? What?- It was thought... Well, that was the thing that you did
0:02:51 > 0:02:54at the time, to make sure that you weren't substituting a baby.
0:02:54 > 0:02:56But even despite having this number of people,
0:02:56 > 0:02:58they thought that she had given birth to a stillbirth
0:02:58 > 0:03:00and had a substitute baby in a bed pan, smuggled into the bedroom.
0:03:00 > 0:03:05So the gynaecologist had to do... "There's nothing up my sleeves."
0:03:05 > 0:03:07All right, well, time to get on with the show.
0:03:07 > 0:03:08Time to pick a Mary. Any Mary.
0:03:08 > 0:03:11Our panellists are going to choose a category. Behind each category
0:03:11 > 0:03:14lurks a famous Mary, which our teams must attempt to win.
0:03:14 > 0:03:16So we have got...
0:03:22 > 0:03:25So, Richard's team, care to pick a category?
0:03:25 > 0:03:27- What do you think, Nish? - Let's try extravagant.
0:03:27 > 0:03:29- Extravagant Mary, please. - Extravagant Mary.
0:03:29 > 0:03:30Extravagant Mary.
0:03:30 > 0:03:34Well, you have picked cake-loving French queen, Marie Antoinette.
0:03:34 > 0:03:39- Oh!- There she is in her gardening clothes.
0:03:39 > 0:03:41Let's have a look at her stats.
0:03:52 > 0:03:54Before travelling to France for her wedding,
0:03:54 > 0:03:57Marie Antoinette had a proxy wedding in Austria with her own brother,
0:03:57 > 0:04:01Ferdinand, standing in for Louis XVI.
0:04:01 > 0:04:03How did that work, Suzannah? How did the proxy wedding work?
0:04:03 > 0:04:06So you want to secure a marriage, and so,
0:04:06 > 0:04:07rather than just have a betrothal,
0:04:07 > 0:04:10you have a proxy, so someone else pretends to be the husband.
0:04:10 > 0:04:12Unusual to be the brother, but so, I mean,
0:04:12 > 0:04:15there is an example from Henry VIII's sister, Mary Tudor -
0:04:15 > 0:04:18she had a proxy wedding and the ambassador laid down on the bed
0:04:18 > 0:04:20next to her, and that was also a proxy consummation,
0:04:20 > 0:04:24cos he laid his bare leg against her bare leg and that counted as a...
0:04:24 > 0:04:27That is consummation. Right?
0:04:27 > 0:04:29If that counts, my tally is going through the roof!
0:04:32 > 0:04:35I, my friend, have just reached double figures!
0:04:36 > 0:04:37I think you've just had me.
0:04:41 > 0:04:44Marie Antoinette headed to France after her proxy wedding,
0:04:44 > 0:04:47but what happened when she reached the border?
0:04:47 > 0:04:49She'd forgotten her passport?
0:04:49 > 0:04:52No, she was stripped of all her clothing.
0:04:53 > 0:04:56I'm not sure if everything had to go in the little tray as well.
0:04:56 > 0:04:58People behind her...
0:04:58 > 0:05:01No, it was the Bourbon tradition to ensure that anything related to
0:05:01 > 0:05:03the bride's old life was removed,
0:05:03 > 0:05:06so everything was taken away with the exception of a small watch
0:05:06 > 0:05:08her mother had given her, so she could see what time it was.
0:05:08 > 0:05:10Where did she put the watch?
0:05:10 > 0:05:11- On her wrist, Melanie. - OK.
0:05:13 > 0:05:15Not everyone wears it internally, like you.
0:05:15 > 0:05:18- No, but I just thought she... - Do you know what?
0:05:18 > 0:05:20I honestly wondered what that muffled ticking was.
0:05:22 > 0:05:24So, she settled into life in Versailles.
0:05:24 > 0:05:26What would she have seen everywhere around the palace?
0:05:26 > 0:05:28French people.
0:05:29 > 0:05:30Psychics going...
0:05:37 > 0:05:38Think sort of lavatorial.
0:05:38 > 0:05:40- Right.- Toilet paper. - RICHARD:- Toilets.
0:05:40 > 0:05:42- No. - Shit.
0:05:42 > 0:05:44- Yes.- Yes! - Or, as they say, merde.
0:05:44 > 0:05:47According to one contemporary account, the passages, courtyards,
0:05:47 > 0:05:50the wings and corridors were full of urine and faecal matter.
0:05:50 > 0:05:55The park, gardens and the chateau made one retch with their bad smell.
0:05:55 > 0:05:56Is that the TripAdvisor review?
0:05:58 > 0:06:01Marie Antoinette used her new-found wealth
0:06:01 > 0:06:02to indulge her love of fashion.
0:06:02 > 0:06:06What surprising feature did she have incorporated into her clothing?
0:06:06 > 0:06:08She had the most extraordinary hairdos, didn't she?
0:06:08 > 0:06:13- She did.- There was something like three foot from her chin to the top.
0:06:13 > 0:06:15When women were driving around in carriages,
0:06:15 > 0:06:18they had to kneel in the foot well and stick their heads out of
0:06:18 > 0:06:20the window, cos their hair was so high.
0:06:20 > 0:06:21Oh, is that how she got...?
0:06:23 > 0:06:27When they were rolling up the window of the car!
0:06:27 > 0:06:30She should have built an entire new head on the top of her hair.
0:06:30 > 0:06:33For when she was getting executed.
0:06:33 > 0:06:35- Yes, yes. - And then just... Tschuch!
0:06:35 > 0:06:38"Ow!" And then it's like...
0:06:38 > 0:06:39Off the corpse walks.
0:06:40 > 0:06:42Hairstyles were a huge part of the French court life,
0:06:42 > 0:06:44Marie Antoinette included.
0:06:44 > 0:06:47Her hairstyles reached, as you say, over a yard high.
0:06:47 > 0:06:49One of her biggest hairstyles, however,
0:06:49 > 0:06:51was the "coiffure a la belle poule".
0:06:51 > 0:06:54Let's have a look at that. It celebrated a famous naval victory
0:06:54 > 0:06:56over the English. When she wore it for the first time,
0:06:56 > 0:06:59she smashed a bottle of champagne over the side of her own head.
0:07:01 > 0:07:03What's interesting is, fashion is political.
0:07:03 > 0:07:05So she looks very pretty, but actually,
0:07:05 > 0:07:07she's making a political point.
0:07:07 > 0:07:09I think if Theresa May is serious about keeping Trident,
0:07:09 > 0:07:12she should get it as a haircut.
0:07:12 > 0:07:14Which of course, Donald Trump already has.
0:07:16 > 0:07:20OK, now it is time to play for the Mary.
0:07:20 > 0:07:25All right? So, according to legends, who was the first man
0:07:25 > 0:07:29ever to propose marriage to Marie Antoinette?
0:07:29 > 0:07:31Is it Bruce Forsyth?
0:07:33 > 0:07:34It's a famous musician.
0:07:34 > 0:07:36But it's a French twiddly one, isn't it?
0:07:36 > 0:07:37What on earth are you playing there?
0:07:37 > 0:07:40It's a cross between a violin and a guitar.
0:07:41 > 0:07:42One of the guys out of Daft Punk.
0:07:44 > 0:07:47Can you end the speculation? Do you know, Suzannah, who...?
0:07:47 > 0:07:49Oh, I thought you were coming to me!
0:07:51 > 0:07:54I don't know, no. I mean, I guess around the time, Mozart?
0:07:54 > 0:07:55Is the right answer!
0:07:55 > 0:07:57APPLAUSE
0:07:57 > 0:07:58That's who Mel meant!
0:08:01 > 0:08:04The story is, of course, that young Mozart played for the young
0:08:04 > 0:08:07Marie Antoinette. When Mozart slipped over, a young Marie,
0:08:07 > 0:08:09she helped him up, and Mozart proposed marriage.
0:08:09 > 0:08:11Well done. I'm going to give it to Josh's team.
0:08:11 > 0:08:13Well done. You get the Mary. APPLAUSE
0:08:18 > 0:08:19Right, Josh, it's your turn.
0:08:19 > 0:08:21Time to pick a Mary.
0:08:25 > 0:08:27- Any views? - I'm intrigued by Not A Mary.
0:08:27 > 0:08:29- Let's try Not A Mary. - Not A Mary.
0:08:29 > 0:08:31You're going with Not A Mary.
0:08:31 > 0:08:34You have chosen platinum screen siren, Marilyn Monroe.
0:08:34 > 0:08:38- Oh!- So, let's have a look at her stats.
0:08:54 > 0:08:55OK, so she's not originally
0:08:55 > 0:08:56a Mary, or even a Marilyn.
0:08:56 > 0:08:58She actually used many, many different names.
0:08:58 > 0:09:02She was born Norma Jeane Mortensen, baptised Norma Jeane Baker,
0:09:02 > 0:09:05and her initial idea for a screen name was Jeane Debb,
0:09:05 > 0:09:08changed her name to Marilyn Monroe in March 1956,
0:09:08 > 0:09:11when she was already a star. At the height of her fame,
0:09:11 > 0:09:14she used, however, a false name to sign into hotels.
0:09:14 > 0:09:16What was it? Does anybody know?
0:09:16 > 0:09:19Did she sign something like Mickey Mouse, or something? MM?
0:09:19 > 0:09:21Almost as ludicrous. It was alliterative, I'll give you that.
0:09:21 > 0:09:23Think F Scott Fitzgerald's wife.
0:09:23 > 0:09:25- Zelda. - Zelda.
0:09:25 > 0:09:26Zelda Zanussi.
0:09:26 > 0:09:29- Zelda Zonk. - Zelda Zonk?!
0:09:29 > 0:09:31She signed into hotels as Zelda Zonk.
0:09:31 > 0:09:33Nicely inconspicuous.
0:09:33 > 0:09:35Have you used a pseudonym in your time, Melanie?
0:09:35 > 0:09:37I like to go by the name of Claire Baker.
0:09:37 > 0:09:40- At home? - Scottish, always Scottish.
0:09:40 > 0:09:43If I'm complaining about television programmes.
0:09:43 > 0:09:45- Do you do that a lot? - I like to do that.
0:09:45 > 0:09:47- I know it's a bit old school. - Who to?
0:09:47 > 0:09:50"Dear Channel 4, your new baking programme is rubbish."
0:09:54 > 0:09:59Claire Baker! I'm giving you a bonus Mary point for that.
0:09:59 > 0:10:01Marilyn, of course, married three times,
0:10:01 > 0:10:04including one marriage to baseball star, Joe DiMaggio,
0:10:04 > 0:10:06and then again to playwright, Arthur Miller.
0:10:06 > 0:10:08Sue, you know a lot about Arthur Miller.
0:10:08 > 0:10:10That's very funny of you, Melanie, yes.
0:10:10 > 0:10:13- Yeah, I wrote my dissertation about Arthur Miller.- She wrote a thesis.
0:10:13 > 0:10:16Four hours before it was supposed to be handed in.
0:10:18 > 0:10:19What was the first line?
0:10:19 > 0:10:22- "Arthur Miller was a playwright". - That's right.
0:10:27 > 0:10:30- Absolutely true.- Second line - "He was an American playwright".
0:10:30 > 0:10:31Where did you go to university?
0:10:31 > 0:10:33Cambridge University.
0:10:33 > 0:10:35This was also pre-computing,
0:10:35 > 0:10:37so this was in the old days when you just hand-wrote it.
0:10:37 > 0:10:39- What?- So I hand-wrote 7,500...
0:10:39 > 0:10:40Yes, before computers, Josh.
0:10:40 > 0:10:42Hang on, you dictated it to somebody.
0:10:42 > 0:10:44All right, my friend Dan.
0:10:48 > 0:10:50- I can't believe she said that. - My friend Dan.
0:10:50 > 0:10:54- SCOTTISH ACCENT:- "Dear BBC, I saw Sue Perkins lying about her dissertations".
0:10:55 > 0:10:58Are you doing an Indian accent, mate?!
0:10:58 > 0:11:01I'm doing a very good Claire Baker.
0:11:01 > 0:11:04You're getting into Claire Baker. We're all getting into Claire Baker.
0:11:04 > 0:11:07- Chance would be a fine thing. - She dictated that...
0:11:10 > 0:11:13Marilyn also had an affair with President John F Kennedy.
0:11:13 > 0:11:16Suzannah, lots of men fell for her, didn't they?
0:11:16 > 0:11:17- Loads of men. - Yeah, seems so, I mean,
0:11:17 > 0:11:20she's the madonna-whore complex in one person, isn't she?
0:11:20 > 0:11:21She looks sexy, but she also looks innocent,
0:11:21 > 0:11:24- so everyone went for her. - I've been trading on that for years.
0:11:25 > 0:11:28You've more got the Maradona-horse complex.
0:11:30 > 0:11:32She married her second husband,
0:11:32 > 0:11:35baseball star Joltin' Joe DiMaggio in 1954.
0:11:35 > 0:11:37Joe always worried about what Marilyn was up to.
0:11:37 > 0:11:40Didn't want anyone else getting to first base.
0:11:40 > 0:11:41How did he keep tabs on her?
0:11:41 > 0:11:44Follow her three paces behind wherever she went?
0:11:44 > 0:11:46You're on the right track, actually.
0:11:46 > 0:11:47Think rubbish spy. He did it himself.
0:11:47 > 0:11:50Oh, did he have a newspaper with two holes in it?
0:11:50 > 0:11:52Do you know what? You're absolutely right.
0:11:52 > 0:11:54Not with the two holes.
0:11:54 > 0:11:58He used to sit in the hotel lobby wearing a fake beard,
0:11:58 > 0:12:01hiding behind a copy of The New York Times.
0:12:01 > 0:12:04- It didn't last, though. - STEPHEN:- Well, the signs were there.
0:12:04 > 0:12:06The signs were there.
0:12:06 > 0:12:08- Not good.- I don't know how I would disguise myself,
0:12:08 > 0:12:11because I already look like a person in disguise.
0:12:12 > 0:12:14According to David Heymann's book, Joe And Marilyn,
0:12:14 > 0:12:17Joe bribed a doorman also to keep watch on Marilyn's visitors,
0:12:17 > 0:12:19and after she died,
0:12:19 > 0:12:23DiMaggio sent flowers to her grave every week for more than 20 years.
0:12:23 > 0:12:26How else did he remember her after they separated?
0:12:26 > 0:12:28Did he have a doll made of her, in the living room?
0:12:28 > 0:12:32He did have a doll made of her, absolutely, well done, yeah.
0:12:32 > 0:12:34- Congratulations, yeah. - Well done.
0:12:37 > 0:12:42He spent 10,000 on a life-size sex doll made in Monroe's image.
0:12:42 > 0:12:45- No!- No way!- The flowers on the grave were more romantic.
0:12:45 > 0:12:46- Can I ask a question?- Yes.
0:12:46 > 0:12:48Where is it now?
0:12:52 > 0:12:54Marilyn Monroe, an enduring legend, of course,
0:12:54 > 0:12:56and how has she been honoured in Texas?
0:12:56 > 0:13:00- Do they have a museum?- Yes, it's part of an artistic display.
0:13:00 > 0:13:01Think critters, think insects.
0:13:01 > 0:13:03- Tarantula. - STEPHEN:- Cockroach.
0:13:03 > 0:13:06Cockroach, indeed. She's been awarded her own tableau
0:13:06 > 0:13:10at the famous Cockroach Hall Of Fame.
0:13:10 > 0:13:11Yes, it exists. What they do is
0:13:11 > 0:13:14they recreate celebrities with dead cockroaches for faces.
0:13:16 > 0:13:18What's going on?
0:13:18 > 0:13:20What's going on underneath?
0:13:21 > 0:13:22Have they got others?
0:13:22 > 0:13:24Oh, yeah, they've got loads of them. It's a proper...
0:13:24 > 0:13:27- They've got Elvis, Liberace. - No, they've just got one, Josh(!)
0:13:27 > 0:13:29It's the world's most disappointing museum.
0:13:29 > 0:13:34Right, it's time now however to play for the Mary, or not a Mary,
0:13:34 > 0:13:36- in this case. - Come on then, guys.
0:13:36 > 0:13:39Many of Marilyn Monroe's possessions have been sold at auction
0:13:39 > 0:13:42over the years, so can you put these items sold at auction
0:13:42 > 0:13:46in order of the price they fetched, from lowest to highest?
0:13:46 > 0:13:50First up, a set of three chest X-rays.
0:13:50 > 0:13:53The bra she wore in Some Like It Hot,
0:13:53 > 0:13:57or the burial crypt directly above hers.
0:13:57 > 0:13:59Oh, what, so you're lying on top of her?
0:13:59 > 0:14:00So they've been lying on top of her.
0:14:00 > 0:14:04I think some nut job would pay a lot to be buried on top of her.
0:14:04 > 0:14:06- I think that's probably the most.... - Some Like It Rot.
0:14:06 > 0:14:09LAUGHTER
0:14:11 > 0:14:13If you fancy Marilyn Monroe, that X-ray,
0:14:13 > 0:14:15it's still not doing anything for you, is it?
0:14:15 > 0:14:18It depends on whether you're a lung man.
0:14:20 > 0:14:23I go with that order - low to high, in that order.
0:14:23 > 0:14:26- Yeah.- So you're going X-ray, bra, and then crypt?
0:14:26 > 0:14:28What are you going to go for, Richard's team?
0:14:28 > 0:14:30- So do you think crypt is the most expensive?- Yes.
0:14:30 > 0:14:32Well, I think we think that the X-ray is the least expensive.
0:14:32 > 0:14:37- Yeah.- But we're wondering if the bra is more expensive than the crypt.
0:14:37 > 0:14:40I think the bra's the most expensive. I think you're right.
0:14:40 > 0:14:44So you're going for X-ray, crypt, and the bra? All right.
0:14:44 > 0:14:45Well, let's have a look.
0:14:45 > 0:14:49The bra fetched 20,000.
0:14:49 > 0:14:52The chest x-rays fetched 45,000.
0:14:52 > 0:14:53- Whoa! - I'm afraid it was more expensive,
0:14:53 > 0:14:55and the most expensive thing -
0:14:55 > 0:14:57the burial plot above her,
0:14:57 > 0:14:58went for an astonishing
0:14:58 > 0:15:014.6 million.
0:15:01 > 0:15:04- Oh!- Well, the plot above her belonged to a Richard Poncher,
0:15:04 > 0:15:07whose final wish was to spend forever with Marilyn Monroe.
0:15:07 > 0:15:09He told his wife, "If I croak and you don't put me upside down
0:15:09 > 0:15:12"over Marilyn, I'll haunt you for the rest of my life".
0:15:12 > 0:15:15After 23 years, his wife had him moved and sold the plot on eBay,
0:15:15 > 0:15:17where it fetched 4.6 million.
0:15:23 > 0:15:27Sadly no-one wins the Mary there. No-one quite got it right.
0:15:27 > 0:15:31Now, Richard and Richard's team, - time to pick a Mary.
0:15:31 > 0:15:32- OK.- I think superstar. - Superstar.
0:15:32 > 0:15:36- Superstar.- Well, it is multi-octave singer and one of the
0:15:36 > 0:15:40bestselling musical artistes of all time, Mariah Carey.
0:15:40 > 0:15:41Let's look at her stats.
0:15:43 > 0:15:45- STEPHEN:- Oh, my goodness!
0:15:55 > 0:16:00She's sold more than 200 million albums, had 18 US number ones
0:16:00 > 0:16:03and that's more than any other solo artist in history.
0:16:03 > 0:16:08At the 1991 Video Music Awards, Mariah did something spectacular.
0:16:08 > 0:16:10- What was it? - 1991?
0:16:10 > 0:16:13Oh, I was on my third year away, because I studied modern languages.
0:16:13 > 0:16:17Was that when you got 13% in your Italian translation exam?
0:16:21 > 0:16:24- It was actually... - Italian is a language.
0:16:26 > 0:16:29Did she hit an as-yet undiscovered note?
0:16:29 > 0:16:31Well, sort of. I'm going to give you that, actually.
0:16:31 > 0:16:35She reportedly sang one of the highest notes ever produced
0:16:35 > 0:16:38by a human voice during a performance of Emotions.
0:16:38 > 0:16:40What was the note?
0:16:40 > 0:16:41It was a G7.
0:16:41 > 0:16:44I can get 4G, but only intermittently.
0:16:44 > 0:16:46APPLAUSE
0:16:49 > 0:16:51Loving that.
0:16:51 > 0:16:54That got ironically good reception, didn't it?
0:16:54 > 0:16:55LAUGHTER, GROANS
0:16:55 > 0:16:57According to the Evening Standard, what were Mariah's
0:16:57 > 0:17:0115-strong entourage under orders to say every day?
0:17:01 > 0:17:02You're not a spoilt brat.
0:17:04 > 0:17:05Anyone for a game of rugby union?
0:17:09 > 0:17:11Hail Mariah.
0:17:11 > 0:17:13I'll give you that. Along those lines, anyway.
0:17:13 > 0:17:17"Good morning, Ms Carey. You look beautiful today."
0:17:17 > 0:17:20So much more heartfelt when it's backed up by contractual necessity,
0:17:20 > 0:17:21isn't it?
0:17:21 > 0:17:23In 2010, what did Mariah forget
0:17:23 > 0:17:26whilst appearing on an Italian chat show?
0:17:26 > 0:17:28She forgot the lyrics to her song?
0:17:28 > 0:17:31She did, and she forgot the words to her latest single.
0:17:31 > 0:17:33It was her version of Auld Lang Syne.
0:17:33 > 0:17:34Let's take a look.
0:17:34 > 0:17:42# Should old acquaintance be forgot, and never...
0:17:42 > 0:17:45# Something, something, something. #
0:17:46 > 0:17:48Certainly... # Something, something, something. #
0:17:48 > 0:17:50- I think she got away with it. - I do.
0:17:50 > 0:17:53"Brought to mind" is an ironic thing to forget.
0:17:59 > 0:18:01The big news in Mariah's world is her forthcoming marriage,
0:18:01 > 0:18:04of course, to multimillionaire James Packer.
0:18:04 > 0:18:07Kim and Kanye are Kimye, Brad and Angelina, of course were Brangelina,
0:18:07 > 0:18:09James Packer and Mariah Carey -
0:18:09 > 0:18:10Pariah.
0:18:11 > 0:18:13Celebrity pairings are very much the thing.
0:18:13 > 0:18:16Last year we had Tom Hiddleston and Taylor Swift -
0:18:16 > 0:18:19Hiddleswift - but it seems that Tom has already moved on.
0:18:19 > 0:18:22Here he is leaving The Ivy with a mystery companion.
0:18:22 > 0:18:25- That was me. - What?- Oh, my God!
0:18:25 > 0:18:27You're going out with Tom Hiddleston?
0:18:27 > 0:18:29So, care to break news?
0:18:29 > 0:18:32So, basically you're, Lipston or Hiddlescomb.
0:18:32 > 0:18:34What are you calling yourselves now?
0:18:34 > 0:18:36No, the truth of the matter is I was just standing there.
0:18:36 > 0:18:39- I actually... - LAUGHTER
0:18:41 > 0:18:43He just oozed up behind you...
0:18:43 > 0:18:45He charged straight into me.
0:18:45 > 0:18:47I was standing in front of the glass door.
0:18:47 > 0:18:50I saw he was inside and there was a guy outside with a camera,
0:18:50 > 0:18:52and I thought, I'll just stand in front of the glass door,
0:18:52 > 0:18:54and then no-one will be able to take photos.
0:18:54 > 0:18:55Do you know how glass works?
0:18:57 > 0:18:58I thought I'd be in front of it.
0:18:58 > 0:19:01Then he opened the door and he came out at great speed.
0:19:01 > 0:19:03He ran into the back of me and the guy started taking photographs.
0:19:03 > 0:19:05He rear-ended you? I love the way he's just barged into you,
0:19:05 > 0:19:08and yet he's still giving it blue steels.
0:19:08 > 0:19:10Was he nice? Did you talk?
0:19:10 > 0:19:12Yeah, we chatted for hours. We went on drinking later.
0:19:12 > 0:19:15- It was a great night. - Did you?!
0:19:15 > 0:19:16No, of course not!
0:19:20 > 0:19:23Right, time to play for the Mary.
0:19:23 > 0:19:25On her 2016 Italian holiday,
0:19:25 > 0:19:29what did Mariah and James have his and her versions of?
0:19:29 > 0:19:30- Dogs. - Not dogs.
0:19:30 > 0:19:33- Speedboats. - Yes, I'm going to give you that.
0:19:33 > 0:19:34It was actually yachts.
0:19:34 > 0:19:36- Yes! - Oh, wow.
0:19:36 > 0:19:39- Well done. - Well done.
0:19:39 > 0:19:42Individual yachts. It's so important in a relationship that each person
0:19:42 > 0:19:43has their own space.
0:19:43 > 0:19:46So they sailed around the Med in their respective boats.
0:19:46 > 0:19:47His, just here,
0:19:47 > 0:19:50is the seventh-largest privately owned vessel in the world.
0:19:50 > 0:19:53- Whoa! That looks like Marie Antoinette's hair.- Yeah!
0:19:54 > 0:19:58Mariah rented this. It's a 192-foot-long Capri.
0:19:58 > 0:20:02340,000 a week plus 40,000 fuel.
0:20:02 > 0:20:05Although you do get to keep the Nectar points, which is good.
0:20:06 > 0:20:10Two separate boats. Well done, Richard's team, you win the Mariah.
0:20:10 > 0:20:12APPLAUSE
0:20:16 > 0:20:19Time now to fire up our Mary-flavoured fruit machine.
0:20:19 > 0:20:22Each time I spin, up will pop three of my favourite Marys.
0:20:22 > 0:20:24Our teams must match the extraordinary fact
0:20:24 > 0:20:25to the extraordinary Mary.
0:20:25 > 0:20:28Also a chance to unearth more candidates for the
0:20:28 > 0:20:31greatest Mary of all time. So, let's spin.
0:20:31 > 0:20:35We've got trying-too-hard Goth rocker Marilyn Manson,
0:20:35 > 0:20:37anti-Filth campaigner Mary Whitehouse,
0:20:37 > 0:20:41and Donald Trump's mother Mary Trump, sporting the family hair.
0:20:43 > 0:20:47The question is, which Mary once got inside of a baboon cage?
0:20:47 > 0:20:49Josh's team to guess first. What are you going to go for?
0:20:49 > 0:20:51I think Marilyn Manson seems too obvious.
0:20:51 > 0:20:54He's the kind of person that you can imagine getting in a cage
0:20:54 > 0:20:57- with a baboon.- So the least obvious one is Mary Whitehouse.
0:20:57 > 0:20:59Are we going on that logic, then?
0:20:59 > 0:21:01I don't know what her job was before she was a...
0:21:01 > 0:21:03- Moral crusader. - ..moral crusader.
0:21:03 > 0:21:07- RICHARD:- She was a baboon trainer. That's the only thing I know.
0:21:07 > 0:21:09- JOSH:- My heart says Mary Whitehouse.
0:21:09 > 0:21:11Let's go with your heart.
0:21:11 > 0:21:14- Yeah, let's go with your heart. - Don't say it in a sarcastic manner!
0:21:14 > 0:21:17All right, you're going to go with Mary Whitehouse.
0:21:17 > 0:21:18What are you going to go for, Team Richard?
0:21:18 > 0:21:20Maybe Trump's mum at some point.
0:21:20 > 0:21:22- That's what I think. - You're going to go for Trump's mum?
0:21:22 > 0:21:24- Do you disagree? - Go with Trump's mum.
0:21:24 > 0:21:25- Trump's mum? - Trump's mum.
0:21:25 > 0:21:27Trump's mum. Let's have a look at the right answer.
0:21:27 > 0:21:30Marilyn Manson.
0:21:30 > 0:21:31We are idiots!
0:21:31 > 0:21:34- It was so obvious! - It was too obvious.
0:21:34 > 0:21:37Who looks like the man who's going to go into a baboon cage?
0:21:37 > 0:21:38What was I thinking?
0:21:38 > 0:21:42Mary Whitehouse in a baboon cage?! Have I lost my mind?
0:21:44 > 0:21:45Marilyn said...
0:21:53 > 0:21:56Sadly, no-one wins the Mary.
0:21:56 > 0:21:57Let's spin again.
0:21:57 > 0:22:01So we have got R&B megastar Mary J Blige,
0:22:01 > 0:22:03BBC presenter Mary Berry,
0:22:03 > 0:22:06and Mormon crooner, Marie Osmond.
0:22:06 > 0:22:09The question is which Mary was a member of
0:22:09 > 0:22:11a medieval re-enactment society?
0:22:11 > 0:22:13Richard, what do you think?
0:22:13 > 0:22:15Has Mary Berry been told what Paul's getting paid?
0:22:18 > 0:22:19I don't think that's Bezza.
0:22:19 > 0:22:22I think, Mary J Blige because they didn't have medieval...
0:22:22 > 0:22:25They didn't have medieval in America, did they?
0:22:25 > 0:22:28Speaking as a non-white person, we don't tend to want to get
0:22:28 > 0:22:33involved in anything that involves re-enacting before about...1997.
0:22:34 > 0:22:36There's not a pot of gold at the end of that particular rainbow.
0:22:36 > 0:22:38- Bezza. Let's go for Bezza. - We'll go for...- Bezza?
0:22:38 > 0:22:41- Yeah.- Which doesn't sit well with me, because I've never chatted
0:22:41 > 0:22:43- to her about that. - You're going for Bezza?
0:22:43 > 0:22:45We'll go for Bezza, please.
0:22:45 > 0:22:46Knock yourself out, Josh.
0:22:46 > 0:22:49- Marie Osmond? - If it's any of those two.
0:22:49 > 0:22:52That jewellery on the right-hand side does look quite medieval.
0:22:52 > 0:22:54- Yeah.- Maybe that's a medieval re-enactment there.
0:22:54 > 0:22:56- That's good enough for me. - That's good enough for me.
0:22:56 > 0:22:59- We'll have the point, thank you very much.- You're going for Marie Osmond?
0:22:59 > 0:23:00- Yep.- All right. Well, let's see.
0:23:00 > 0:23:02You said Bezza. You said Marie Osmond.
0:23:02 > 0:23:05Let's see who got the answer right.
0:23:05 > 0:23:06It was indeed...
0:23:06 > 0:23:09- And I didn't know that either. - No, we didn't know that.
0:23:09 > 0:23:11I had no idea. She kept it completely quiet.
0:23:11 > 0:23:13She never, ever mentioned it.
0:23:13 > 0:23:15Her favourite bit was being in the tents.
0:23:17 > 0:23:18Oh, don't!
0:23:20 > 0:23:23- Don't mention the tents! - Sue! How dare you?
0:23:23 > 0:23:26- Sue, this woman has just lost her job.- I know.
0:23:27 > 0:23:29So, well done, Richard.
0:23:29 > 0:23:30You win the Mary.
0:23:30 > 0:23:33Congratulations. APPLAUSE
0:23:35 > 0:23:38OK, everybody. Let's play Finish The Fact.
0:23:38 > 0:23:40I'm going to start by reading out a Mary-based gem.
0:23:40 > 0:23:43You're going to buzz in when you think you know how it ends.
0:23:43 > 0:23:46First up, we've got '70s stuntwoman, Mary Connors.
0:23:46 > 0:23:51There she is. Human cannonball Mary Connors made three attempts to what?
0:23:51 > 0:23:55- Stephen? - Get another job.
0:23:55 > 0:23:57She actually made three attempts to -
0:23:57 > 0:23:58this is hard - cross the River Avon.
0:23:58 > 0:24:00But on the last attempt...
0:24:00 > 0:24:03- What happened? - Decided to use a cannon?
0:24:05 > 0:24:06She bombed?
0:24:06 > 0:24:08LAUGHTER, GROANS
0:24:08 > 0:24:11She actually sank the rescue boat.
0:24:11 > 0:24:13- She what?- She sank...
0:24:13 > 0:24:16- She hit into it?- Yeah, she sank it.
0:24:16 > 0:24:18So, do you want to see one of her attempts?
0:24:18 > 0:24:20- Not, sadly, this one. They don't have that one on record.- OK.
0:24:20 > 0:24:23But this is one of her human cannonball attempts.
0:24:33 > 0:24:36- Oh, my God! - Oh, dear.
0:24:36 > 0:24:39Mary soon realised that being a human cannonball was too risky,
0:24:39 > 0:24:41so she became a human catapult.
0:24:41 > 0:24:42Now, this one has the...
0:24:44 > 0:24:47..the added advantage of sending you directly into a huge net,
0:24:47 > 0:24:50so that you don't get wet. Do you want to see her being fired?
0:24:50 > 0:24:52- More than anything in the world. - All day long.
0:24:52 > 0:24:53Here we go.
0:24:53 > 0:24:57Three, two, one,
0:24:57 > 0:24:59fire!
0:25:10 > 0:25:13- Oh, my word! - Sadly, no-one wins the Mary,
0:25:13 > 0:25:15although I think a round of applause, there.
0:25:15 > 0:25:18- She's amazing. - APPLAUSE
0:25:18 > 0:25:21What a woman.
0:25:21 > 0:25:22- Brilliant. - Next up, it's
0:25:22 > 0:25:26daughter of Russian spiritualist, Grigori Rasputin, Maria.
0:25:30 > 0:25:32Life story made into a song by Boney M.
0:25:35 > 0:25:37Had his beard stuffed and mounted.
0:25:37 > 0:25:39Not his beard.
0:25:39 > 0:25:41- His balls? - Very close to his balls.
0:25:41 > 0:25:43- His penis. - Willy.
0:25:43 > 0:25:45Yes, Josh, his penis.
0:25:52 > 0:25:54Still fresh as a daisy.
0:25:57 > 0:26:02In the 1920s, it was fashionable to play Celebrity Cock In A Box.
0:26:02 > 0:26:03"Do you know what? I've had a lovely day out,
0:26:03 > 0:26:06"I'm going to stick with the cock I've been offered."
0:26:10 > 0:26:14"Shall we say which cock you could have won?"
0:26:16 > 0:26:18In the 1920s,
0:26:18 > 0:26:20it was actually worshipped by a female cult in Paris.
0:26:20 > 0:26:24Some sort of members club, I presume.
0:26:24 > 0:26:28The penis can still be seen in a jar of formaldehyde
0:26:28 > 0:26:30in the museum of erotica in Saint Petersburg.
0:26:30 > 0:26:34There you go. Sadly, no-one wins the Mary.
0:26:34 > 0:26:37- AUDIENCE:- Aww! - I know.
0:26:37 > 0:26:39Next up, 19th-century aristocrat,
0:26:39 > 0:26:42Princess Maria del Pozzo della Cisterna.
0:26:42 > 0:26:45Here is the worst wedding of all time.
0:26:45 > 0:26:49On the day of Princess Maria's marriage, her...
0:26:49 > 0:26:50Her husband exploded.
0:26:50 > 0:26:52It's along those lines.
0:26:52 > 0:26:54What?!
0:26:54 > 0:26:58Her wardrobe mistress hanged herself, and then what happened?
0:26:58 > 0:27:00Terrible wedding.
0:27:00 > 0:27:01Did she count as the something blue?
0:27:01 > 0:27:04GROANS
0:27:09 > 0:27:14Did Princess Maria say, "No, I said hang up the dress?"?
0:27:14 > 0:27:17- It's easy. How could you not know this?- They cancelled the wedding.
0:27:17 > 0:27:20No! Honestly, I cannot believe this.
0:27:20 > 0:27:22Right, on the day of Princess Maria's marriage,
0:27:22 > 0:27:24her wardrobe mistress hanged herself,
0:27:24 > 0:27:26and the palace gatekeeper cut his throat, the colonel leading
0:27:26 > 0:27:30the procession collapsed with sunstroke, the local station master was crushed to death under a train,
0:27:30 > 0:27:33the King's aide was killed after a fall from his horse,
0:27:33 > 0:27:35and the best man accidentally shot himself.
0:27:37 > 0:27:38- What?! - Wow!
0:27:38 > 0:27:40Lovely day. Lovely day.
0:27:42 > 0:27:44Oh, my days.
0:27:44 > 0:27:46According to historical sources,
0:27:46 > 0:27:50it was a combination of collective madness and catastrophic bad luck.
0:27:50 > 0:27:52So, we've come to the end of the show, and I can tell you that
0:27:52 > 0:27:56tonight's winners, with the most Marys, are...
0:27:56 > 0:27:58Josh's team. Well done. APPLAUSE
0:28:03 > 0:28:07So, very big moment. Very big moment, Josh -
0:28:07 > 0:28:11who are you going to nominate as the greatest Mary of all time?
0:28:11 > 0:28:12No pressure.
0:28:12 > 0:28:16Of course, it is the queen of cakes, Mary Berry.
0:28:16 > 0:28:19Yay!
0:28:22 > 0:28:26A very worthy, worthy choice.
0:28:26 > 0:28:29So, let's put magnificent Mary Berry up on the Insert Name Here
0:28:29 > 0:28:30Hall Of Fame. Up she goes.
0:28:30 > 0:28:33APPLAUSE
0:28:36 > 0:28:39Right next door to Alexander Graham Bell.
0:28:39 > 0:28:42Wonderful stuff. Well, congratulations to Josh's team
0:28:42 > 0:28:45and, of course, to the losing team, Richard,
0:28:45 > 0:28:47a bit of Rasputin.
0:28:48 > 0:28:50APPLAUSE
0:28:52 > 0:28:54Oh, my lord!
0:28:54 > 0:28:55Enjoy that. My thanks to my guests,
0:28:55 > 0:28:58a special thanks to all the Marys here, there and everywhere,
0:28:58 > 0:29:01but a massive thanks to you at home for watching. Goodnight.