Charlie

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0:00:08 > 0:00:15This programme contains some strong language.

0:00:20 > 0:00:24CHEERS AND APPLAUSE

0:00:24 > 0:00:27Hello, and welcome to Insert Name Here,

0:00:27 > 0:00:30the show where we discover surprising facts about people

0:00:30 > 0:00:33with just one thing in common - they've all got the same name.

0:00:33 > 0:00:37Joining me are six of the best bespokely named people you could possibly wish to meet.

0:00:37 > 0:00:41Please welcome James Acaster, Suzannah Lipscomb, and their team captain, Josh Widdicombe.

0:00:41 > 0:00:47And over on the other side, Steph McGovern, Rob Beckett, and their captain, Richard Osman.

0:00:47 > 0:00:50CHEERS AND APPLAUSE

0:00:54 > 0:00:56- Now, hello, Steph.- Hello.

0:00:56 > 0:00:59You must come across some really strange names in your line of work.

0:00:59 > 0:01:04Oh, I certainly do. I've genuinely interviewed Theresa Green.

0:01:04 > 0:01:08I genuinely have, media analyst.

0:01:08 > 0:01:11And my best one is Dick Shoots.

0:01:13 > 0:01:16He had the option of going with Richard. He's chosen his own...

0:01:16 > 0:01:18- He has.- He's American. - Americans do it a lot.

0:01:18 > 0:01:22Yeah, but they've still got dicks over there, haven't they?

0:01:22 > 0:01:25They don't call them dicks, they call them Joshes.

0:01:25 > 0:01:27LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

0:01:31 > 0:01:35OK, so the all-important question - which name is going to be featuring tonight?

0:01:35 > 0:01:39Well, they come as funny tramps, bonnie princes, or even long,

0:01:39 > 0:01:41white lines, because tonight's name is Charlie.

0:01:41 > 0:01:45CHEERS AND APPLAUSE

0:01:45 > 0:01:48Yes, tonight we're going to be talking about people called Charlie,

0:01:48 > 0:01:51which needless to say includes Charles, Charlotte and Chas.

0:01:51 > 0:01:55Along the way, our teams will be collecting as many Charlies as they can and at the end of the show,

0:01:55 > 0:01:57the winning team will have the honour of deciding who's

0:01:57 > 0:02:00officially the greatest Charlie of all time and that person

0:02:00 > 0:02:03will then be inducted into our Insert Name Here Hall of Fame.

0:02:03 > 0:02:07Richard, any early thoughts about who the best Charlie or Charles might be?

0:02:07 > 0:02:11It's quite a rich field because some of the greatest Britons of

0:02:11 > 0:02:14- all time are Charlies. Charles Darwin...- Yes.

0:02:14 > 0:02:16- Charles Babbage, the inventor of the computer.- Computer, yeah.

0:02:16 > 0:02:18- Charles Hodge... - Who's Charles Hodge?

0:02:18 > 0:02:21- Charles Hodge?- Oh, come now! - You might know him as Chas.

0:02:21 > 0:02:23Stop being a Josh! Tell me. Come on.

0:02:23 > 0:02:25LAUGHTER

0:02:27 > 0:02:31He teamed up with Britain's greatest David, David Peacock,

0:02:31 > 0:02:33- to form Chas and Dave.- Oh. AUDIENCE: Ah!

0:02:33 > 0:02:35I think now we're in the room.

0:02:35 > 0:02:38- Now you're talking, aren't you? - Now you're talking.- Yeah.

0:02:38 > 0:02:40James, you look like a man of distinction.

0:02:40 > 0:02:42Do you know any Charleses or Charlies?

0:02:42 > 0:02:44My nephew's called Charlie. He's four.

0:02:44 > 0:02:48I rang him before coming here for some advice on how to be funny.

0:02:48 > 0:02:50Good advice.

0:02:50 > 0:02:52He said, "Talk a lot about..."

0:02:52 > 0:02:55He thinks it's funny when peacocks peck each other.

0:02:55 > 0:02:58- So I'm going to get that in later. - Do it!

0:03:02 > 0:03:04- To flag it up as well. - Yeah, at some point.

0:03:04 > 0:03:07That's something to look forward to.

0:03:07 > 0:03:11And he said also, "Make a joke about hot chocolate rice."

0:03:11 > 0:03:14- Oh, yeah.- We'll look out for that as well. Hot chocolate rice.

0:03:14 > 0:03:18I said to him, "What's that?" And he looked at me like I was an idiot.

0:03:18 > 0:03:20- Which was odd, because you'd phoned him.- Yeah.

0:03:21 > 0:03:23Listen, let's get on with the show.

0:03:23 > 0:03:26Time to pick a Charlie, any Charlie you like.

0:03:26 > 0:03:28Our panellists choose a category and behind each category lurks

0:03:28 > 0:03:31a famous face, which our teams must then attempt to win.

0:03:31 > 0:03:33So, we have got...

0:03:38 > 0:03:40Richard, your team's going to go first. What do you fancy out of that lot?

0:03:40 > 0:03:43I think maybe we'll go for Silent Charlie, please, Sue.

0:03:43 > 0:03:47- You're going to go for Silent Charlie.- Yes.- It's Charlie Chaplin.

0:03:47 > 0:03:48Oh!

0:03:48 > 0:03:51So, let's have a look at his stats...

0:03:59 > 0:04:01LAUGHTER

0:04:04 > 0:04:07- He did a speech though, didn't he? - He spoke in real life.

0:04:07 > 0:04:10In real life, yeah.

0:04:10 > 0:04:14- Oh, leave it out! No! Was it The Great Dictator? - Yeah, The Great Dictator.

0:04:14 > 0:04:17- The Great Dictator, there's a huge speech in that. - It's just a joke, Rob.

0:04:19 > 0:04:22Who'd have thought Rob was here as the fact checker?!

0:04:22 > 0:04:25That's the one I've seen, the one where he speaks,

0:04:25 > 0:04:27so I was quite surprised he's silent!

0:04:27 > 0:04:31I've always been very keen for Rob to try out silent comedy.

0:04:31 > 0:04:33You should give it a go.

0:04:35 > 0:04:38I'll do silent when you do actual comedy!

0:04:38 > 0:04:39Wahey!

0:04:40 > 0:04:43We can all sit at a desk with an iPad, Richard!

0:04:45 > 0:04:48I tell you what, our team is really getting on.

0:04:49 > 0:04:52- Yeah, we're all friends, it's really nice.- Exactly.

0:04:52 > 0:04:56We're like three peacocks pecking each other, aren't we?

0:04:56 > 0:04:58That's my material. You can't nick it.

0:05:00 > 0:05:02With respect, it's not your material.

0:05:03 > 0:05:08So, Chaplin was born on the 16th of April 1889 in London.

0:05:08 > 0:05:12His father, a notorious drinker, abandoned Chaplin and his mother not long after his birth.

0:05:12 > 0:05:16Aged ten, he's joined a touring troupe called Eight Lancashire Lads.

0:05:16 > 0:05:18What was the act?

0:05:18 > 0:05:21- So was it a talent like juggling, or...?- Yes.- Human pyramid?

0:05:22 > 0:05:24- They were clog dancers. - Clog dancers?!

0:05:24 > 0:05:26Yeah, he did clog dancing.

0:05:26 > 0:05:30Here they are, sporting the classic Lancastrian look of large ruff and sombrero.

0:05:32 > 0:05:36That's the kind of outfit a dead ghost child wears.

0:05:38 > 0:05:40Most ghosts are dead, of course, aren't they?

0:05:43 > 0:05:45Now, Chaplin stayed with the act for over two years,

0:05:45 > 0:05:49occasionally attending school, but left education for good, aged 13.

0:05:49 > 0:05:52He was then signed to Fred Karno's music hall company,

0:05:52 > 0:05:53where he became a star.

0:05:53 > 0:05:56Who was his understudy in those days at Fred Karno's?

0:05:56 > 0:06:00- Was it Buster Keaton? - No, but think as famous.

0:06:00 > 0:06:03- Was it Hitler? - LAUGHTER

0:06:03 > 0:06:07Hold on! That means it might have been.

0:06:07 > 0:06:10Of course, after Hitler left the Eight Lancashire Lads,

0:06:10 > 0:06:13he carried on to Fred Karno's, before realising

0:06:13 > 0:06:17- he wanted to adopt sort of quite hardcore German nationalism. - Well, they did look alike.

0:06:17 > 0:06:21- It was actually Stan Laurel. - Oh, really?- No way.

0:06:21 > 0:06:24Stan Laurel, or to give him his proper name, Laurel And.

0:06:24 > 0:06:27He's obviously best known for his Little Tramp character,

0:06:27 > 0:06:30which he developed in just his second film in 1914.

0:06:30 > 0:06:31People loved him and his routines,

0:06:31 > 0:06:34including this one - the classic Bread Roll Dance from Gold Rush.

0:06:34 > 0:06:38How did audiences react to this scene when they first saw it?

0:06:38 > 0:06:39Hungrily.

0:06:41 > 0:06:43- Did they throw bread rolls at him? - They didn't.

0:06:43 > 0:06:47But they were so excited that they made the theatres stop the film,

0:06:47 > 0:06:51- roll it back, play it again. - I do that when I'm at the cinema.

0:06:51 > 0:06:54- You do do that, or you'd like to? - Yeah, every time I'm at the cinema,

0:06:54 > 0:06:57I just stand up and go, "Stop and rewind that!"

0:06:59 > 0:07:02Everybody ignores me. I go, "I said stop, please!

0:07:02 > 0:07:04"I like that scene!

0:07:04 > 0:07:09"Rewind the film! No! Excuse me, madam!

0:07:11 > 0:07:14"Rewind the film, please!"

0:07:15 > 0:07:191931, Chaplin released what many considered to be his masterpiece,

0:07:19 > 0:07:22City Lights, where the Little Tramp becomes involved

0:07:22 > 0:07:25with a blind girl and an alcoholic millionaire.

0:07:25 > 0:07:26Who did he invite to the premiere?

0:07:26 > 0:07:29- Big in his time. Big in all times. - What's the year?- BFG.

0:07:31 > 0:07:34- Alexander the Great.- Not him.

0:07:34 > 0:07:36The Lord Jesus Christ.

0:07:40 > 0:07:43He would have had a right laugh with those bread rolls!

0:07:45 > 0:07:48LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

0:07:51 > 0:07:56- If I was to give you a clue, I would say his appearance was all relative. - Albert Einstein.- Albert Einstein.

0:07:56 > 0:07:59Albert Einstein, indeed, was invited to the premiere.

0:07:59 > 0:08:02Time now to play for the Charlie.

0:08:02 > 0:08:05One of the by-products of Chaplin's fame was that he was copied,

0:08:05 > 0:08:07not just by the public, but by other actors.

0:08:07 > 0:08:09There was a Mexican actor called Charles Amador,

0:08:09 > 0:08:12who blatantly ripped off Chaplin and one of his movies.

0:08:12 > 0:08:13There he is.

0:08:13 > 0:08:17That's Charles Amador. Now, what name did Amador use for the movie?

0:08:17 > 0:08:21- Bendy Cane. - Was it Charlie Choplin?

0:08:21 > 0:08:23- Just to get people get in, like, a kind of...?- I'm going to give you that.

0:08:23 > 0:08:25- It was Charlie Aplin.- No!

0:08:25 > 0:08:26Charlie...

0:08:26 > 0:08:31You know like when you go to Piri Piri Rooster's, instead of Nando's?

0:08:31 > 0:08:35Josh, is there a Josh Iddicombe working, do you think, the circuit?

0:08:35 > 0:08:38I don't think so. Are you about to reveal that there is?

0:08:38 > 0:08:39LAUGHTER

0:08:39 > 0:08:42Look to your right, my friend. Look to your right.

0:08:42 > 0:08:44- AS JOSH:- What...are people doing?!

0:08:44 > 0:08:47LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

0:08:51 > 0:08:54Congratulations, Josh. You win.

0:08:54 > 0:08:57CHEERS AND APPLAUSE

0:08:59 > 0:09:03Right, Josh, my love, it's your turn to pick a Charlie. You've got...

0:09:06 > 0:09:08I'm going to go with Fun-Loving Charlie.

0:09:08 > 0:09:12Well, you've picked the merry monarch Charles II.

0:09:12 > 0:09:13- There he is.- Ooh!

0:09:13 > 0:09:16Let's have a look at Charles II's stats...

0:09:29 > 0:09:31Charles's father, Charles I, naturally,

0:09:31 > 0:09:34was executed and replaced by Lord Protector Oliver Cromwell,

0:09:34 > 0:09:38so Charles II spent much of his early years abroad or in hiding.

0:09:38 > 0:09:41After losing to Cromwell's army at the Battle of Worcester

0:09:41 > 0:09:45in September of 1651, he needed to get somewhere safe.

0:09:45 > 0:09:47- Where did he end up hiding? - Middlesbrough.

0:09:49 > 0:09:52- It's a safe place. - It is a safe place.- It's not!

0:09:52 > 0:09:56- I've been there on a Saturday night! - Not with me, you haven't, love!

0:09:56 > 0:09:58- That's true. - That sounded like a threat!

0:10:00 > 0:10:02Suzannah, I'm thinking you might know this.

0:10:02 > 0:10:05Yeah, was a supporter of Theresa Green.

0:10:05 > 0:10:06He was up in a royal oak,

0:10:06 > 0:10:09which is why so many pubs were called Royal Oaks.

0:10:09 > 0:10:11- What? He was in a tree?! - He was in a tree. He hid in a tree.

0:10:11 > 0:10:14- How long did he stay there for? - He was there for a whole day.

0:10:14 > 0:10:18Oh, right. I thought it was like a year or something!

0:10:18 > 0:10:21A day?! I've been in a tree two weeks once.

0:10:21 > 0:10:24Charles II was crowned king in 1660,

0:10:24 > 0:10:27after Oliver Cromwell's intensely Puritanical rule.

0:10:27 > 0:10:29How did he take revenge on Cromwell?

0:10:29 > 0:10:32Did he kill him with a wig and a pen.

0:10:32 > 0:10:35And that is why so many pubs are called Wig and Pen.

0:10:37 > 0:10:39Did he wether him with some spoons?

0:10:41 > 0:10:43LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

0:10:47 > 0:10:49Suzannah, I think, might know.

0:10:49 > 0:10:53He dug his body up and basically when Charles came back and

0:10:53 > 0:10:55took the throne, they said, "OK, you can take the throne,

0:10:55 > 0:10:58"but you're not allowed to have revenge on everyone who went against you,"

0:10:58 > 0:11:00except the people who'd killed his dad.

0:11:00 > 0:11:04And so Cromwell, and a few other people who'd been at the trial,

0:11:04 > 0:11:07they were dug up and their rotting corpses taken along to the

0:11:07 > 0:11:10Old Bailey and then a judge pronounced the death sentence

0:11:10 > 0:11:13on them and then they were dragged through the streets on sleds

0:11:13 > 0:11:15and taken to Tyburn to be hanged.

0:11:15 > 0:11:17And then they took Cromwell's head off,

0:11:17 > 0:11:19after that... After they'd hanged him for a bit,

0:11:19 > 0:11:21and put it on a spike near Westminster...

0:11:21 > 0:11:24Do you know what? The real answer was a bit bleak.

0:11:24 > 0:11:27Although, it does remind me a lot of Wetherspoons.

0:11:28 > 0:11:31LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

0:11:31 > 0:11:34So, Charles was all about bringing back fun.

0:11:34 > 0:11:37Cromwell had shut the theatres and Charles reopened them.

0:11:37 > 0:11:40But how did he revolutionise the theatre?

0:11:40 > 0:11:42- Oh, I actually think I know the answer to this.- Oh?

0:11:42 > 0:11:44Did he invent pantomime?

0:11:44 > 0:11:46- He didn't invent pantomime.- Aw!

0:11:46 > 0:11:47LAUGHTER

0:11:47 > 0:11:51- That sounded good!- Yeah, it did sound good.- He's behind you!

0:11:51 > 0:11:52The head on a spike!

0:11:54 > 0:11:57I've never been so sure that I'd got an answer!

0:11:57 > 0:12:02- I think I know. Did he introduce royal boxes?- No.- Aw!

0:12:04 > 0:12:07- That was good!- Did he...? - Go, James! Get in!

0:12:07 > 0:12:09- I know the answer!- Here we go.

0:12:09 > 0:12:12Did he make it OK to stand up and ask them to go back a scene

0:12:12 > 0:12:15and start again?

0:12:15 > 0:12:17LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

0:12:20 > 0:12:22Do you know, Suzannah? Do you know?

0:12:22 > 0:12:25- I think it's that he put women on the stage.- He did indeed.

0:12:27 > 0:12:29He legalised acting for women and even today,

0:12:29 > 0:12:33attractive women up to the age of 25 are allowed some parts.

0:12:35 > 0:12:39LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE So, thank you.

0:12:39 > 0:12:41Going to the theatre enabled Charles to watch actresses,

0:12:41 > 0:12:44but even more importantly, meet them and have sex with them.

0:12:44 > 0:12:48He enjoyed a succession of mistresses, several of them actresses.

0:12:48 > 0:12:51Small clues available to modern historians as to who were his

0:12:51 > 0:12:52favourite mistresses...

0:12:52 > 0:12:55Might it be Moll Davis?

0:12:55 > 0:12:57Might it be Barbara Villiers?

0:12:57 > 0:12:59Or could it possibly be Nell Gwyn?

0:12:59 > 0:13:02Hm! LAUGHTER

0:13:02 > 0:13:04What's the opposite of "hard to get"?

0:13:04 > 0:13:07That was rather like when Judy Finnigan had that wardrobe malfunction.

0:13:11 > 0:13:15Can you talk us through that...? I mean, is that a well-known sort of style of portraiture?

0:13:15 > 0:13:18Well, it's because she was a mistress, so all of them had

0:13:18 > 0:13:23- sort of low decollage and this one particularly low, and it's to show...- Non existent!

0:13:23 > 0:13:26That is low!

0:13:26 > 0:13:28I think if she turned up tonight,

0:13:28 > 0:13:30we would describe that as particularly low.

0:13:30 > 0:13:33Was that Charles essentially getting something that

0:13:33 > 0:13:35he can show his mates? Is that essentially what he's doing? Yep!

0:13:35 > 0:13:38Loads of people bought them. Pepys had one. He had a naked picture...

0:13:38 > 0:13:42Peeps? I thought you meant loads of people.

0:13:42 > 0:13:46That's actually, everybody in South London...

0:13:46 > 0:13:49Yeah, just dropped out a posh for peeps there.

0:13:49 > 0:13:50Surely his wife knew,

0:13:50 > 0:13:54because he's not very good at having an affair, is he?

0:13:54 > 0:13:56If that's on his phone and his wife takes a look,

0:13:56 > 0:13:59she's going to go, "Wait a minute!"

0:13:59 > 0:14:02That is your phone up there, isn't it, Richard?

0:14:05 > 0:14:09If it turns out that's what you're in to, no-one will be surprised.

0:14:09 > 0:14:13LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

0:14:16 > 0:14:18Degree of rivalry between the mistresses.

0:14:18 > 0:14:22On one occasion, Nell sabotaged Moll Davis' visit to the King.

0:14:22 > 0:14:23How did she do that?

0:14:23 > 0:14:26Sabotage? So did she, like, leave something in the house?

0:14:26 > 0:14:30- She gave her a cake with laxative in.- She did.- No!

0:14:30 > 0:14:32- Oh, that's brilliant!- Oh, no!

0:14:32 > 0:14:36I bet that's what Mary Berry's just done to Paul Hollywood as well!

0:14:36 > 0:14:38LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

0:14:42 > 0:14:45I think you'll find this is quite the show stopper!

0:14:45 > 0:14:48LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

0:14:48 > 0:14:51Time to play now for the Charlie.

0:14:51 > 0:14:55So, Charles was also known to drink a kind of medicine known as

0:14:55 > 0:14:56the King's Drops.

0:14:56 > 0:14:59What were the main ingredients of the King's Drops?

0:14:59 > 0:15:01Was it Calpol?

0:15:01 > 0:15:03Absinthe?

0:15:03 > 0:15:06- It was alcohol, so that was one of the ingredients.- WKD.

0:15:06 > 0:15:09What do you...? I'll just accept alcohol,

0:15:09 > 0:15:12but when you want a bit of texture in your drink, what would you...?

0:15:12 > 0:15:14Oh, hot chocolate rice.

0:15:14 > 0:15:16Goddamn it!

0:15:19 > 0:15:21That was a sitter and I missed it.

0:15:26 > 0:15:28What would you put in there?

0:15:28 > 0:15:33- Isn't it part of the human body? - Yes, it's a little bit of skull.

0:15:33 > 0:15:36- Just a crumble of skull.- What?! - You're right, Suzannah.

0:15:36 > 0:15:38In the 16th and 17th centuries,

0:15:38 > 0:15:41Europeans drank remedies containing human bones and blood and fat

0:15:41 > 0:15:44as a cure for everything from headaches to epilepsy.

0:15:44 > 0:15:48Congratulations, Josh's team. You win the Charlie. Well done.

0:15:48 > 0:15:50CHEERS AND APPLAUSE

0:15:52 > 0:15:54Right, Richard, your turn. A couple of Charlies left.

0:15:54 > 0:15:57What would you fancy out of these two?

0:15:59 > 0:16:01- Shall we go Vocal Charlie? - Let's go vocal.

0:16:01 > 0:16:03Let's go Vocal Charlie because that'll be a singer, right?

0:16:03 > 0:16:05Yes, it is. It's Welsh opera star

0:16:05 > 0:16:08turned pop star turned political activist,

0:16:08 > 0:16:11- the wonderful Charlotte Church. AUDIENCE:- Ooh!

0:16:11 > 0:16:13Right. Let's have a look at her stats...

0:16:14 > 0:16:16SAYS NAME IN WELSH ACCENT

0:16:22 > 0:16:24Charlotte was first heard singing down

0:16:24 > 0:16:26the line to Richard and Judy in a phone in and made her first

0:16:26 > 0:16:30TV appearance on the Big Big Talent Show in 1997.

0:16:30 > 0:16:31Why was she on the show?

0:16:31 > 0:16:33I think she wasn't on the show. I think her aunt was on the show.

0:16:33 > 0:16:37Very good, yes. She wasn't the booking, basically. She came on to introduce her aunt Caroline,

0:16:37 > 0:16:41who was a contestant on the show. Jonathan Ross asked her to sing a little to the audience before

0:16:41 > 0:16:42her aunt came on.

0:16:42 > 0:16:44Take a look at this.

0:16:46 > 0:16:50# Pie Jesu

0:16:50 > 0:16:55# Pie Jesu

0:16:55 > 0:17:02# Qui tollis peccata mundi

0:17:02 > 0:17:09# Dona eis requiem

0:17:09 > 0:17:15# Dona eis requiem. #

0:17:15 > 0:17:18- Wow! What about that! - CHEERS AND APPLAUSE

0:17:18 > 0:17:19Effortless. Effortless.

0:17:19 > 0:17:24What you can't quite hear there is her aunt crying backstage.

0:17:24 > 0:17:27Charlotte Church has travelled the world with her singing and

0:17:27 > 0:17:31has performed for two US Presidents, Bill Clinton and George W Bush.

0:17:31 > 0:17:32What did Bush ask her?

0:17:32 > 0:17:36- Did he ask her where Wales was? - I'll give you that.

0:17:36 > 0:17:38He asked her which state Wales was in,

0:17:38 > 0:17:42to which the answer of course is, a bit of a mess actually.

0:17:43 > 0:17:45Like everywhere else at the moment.

0:17:45 > 0:17:47Like everywhere else. APPLAUSE

0:17:49 > 0:17:52In 2005, Charlotte started a high-profile relationship

0:17:52 > 0:17:56with Welsh rugby player Gavin Henson. Here they are.

0:17:56 > 0:17:58In 2010, following Gavin's departure,

0:17:58 > 0:18:01what did Ospreys Rugby Club ban?

0:18:01 > 0:18:02Hair.

0:18:02 > 0:18:04Not hair.

0:18:04 > 0:18:08- No, "her"(!) - LAUGHTER

0:18:12 > 0:18:14SHE MOUTHS

0:18:15 > 0:18:18- I'm a dick. - You feel like a massive Josh now!

0:18:20 > 0:18:24No, obviously, we've moved beyond RP accents at the BBC!

0:18:25 > 0:18:30Allcomers, from all parts from this magnificent kingdom!

0:18:30 > 0:18:32Stephanie, your answer please.

0:18:32 > 0:18:35Imagine if the answer had been "hair" and you'd given it.

0:18:37 > 0:18:39Right, what did they ban?

0:18:39 > 0:18:42- Was it spray tan? - It was indeed spray tan. Well done.

0:18:42 > 0:18:44Congratulations. Spray tan.

0:18:46 > 0:18:50All right. Time to play for the Charlie.

0:18:50 > 0:18:51So, we're going to play

0:18:51 > 0:18:54Who Is Charlotte Being Totally Honest About Now?

0:18:54 > 0:18:57The team who gets the most right wins the Charlie.

0:18:57 > 0:18:59So, who is she talking about here?

0:19:03 > 0:19:04Who did she say that about?

0:19:04 > 0:19:08Is it one of the fembots from Austin Powers?

0:19:10 > 0:19:14- Was it Hopkins? - No, not Hopkins. Another Katie.

0:19:14 > 0:19:18Katie Price. She's had loads of fights with Katie, hasn't she?

0:19:18 > 0:19:19CHEERS AND APPLAUSE

0:19:23 > 0:19:25I don't hate anybody...

0:19:25 > 0:19:27Trump.

0:19:27 > 0:19:28Trump, it is.

0:19:28 > 0:19:30APPLAUSE

0:19:32 > 0:19:35- I actually interviewed him once. - No way!- Shut the front door!

0:19:35 > 0:19:38When he arrived, he walked into the room and he looked

0:19:38 > 0:19:39me in the eye and he went, "Oh, my God.

0:19:39 > 0:19:42"You're so beautiful that I'm going to have to leave this room to

0:19:42 > 0:19:46"make myself look better because if we do this interview now,

0:19:46 > 0:19:48"everyone's just going to be staring at you."

0:19:48 > 0:19:50Never saw him again.

0:19:50 > 0:19:52It took him that long!

0:19:52 > 0:19:53As a good northern girl,

0:19:53 > 0:19:56I literally couldn't control my laughter and I went to him.

0:19:56 > 0:19:59"Listen, mate, I've heard better lines than that down Club Bongo,"

0:19:59 > 0:20:02- which I actually have. - LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

0:20:06 > 0:20:08And finally, "When you get close to her..."

0:20:13 > 0:20:15Is it Mel?

0:20:15 > 0:20:17No!

0:20:19 > 0:20:21Aw!

0:20:22 > 0:20:26I've even given them my favourite Charlie Brown!

0:20:26 > 0:20:29But, yes, Mel is quite a bit older than I am.

0:20:33 > 0:20:35All right, so, who do you think is this one?

0:20:40 > 0:20:43- The Queen.- Margaret Thatcher? - The Queen is right. Well done.

0:20:43 > 0:20:46APPLAUSE

0:20:46 > 0:20:50Congratulations, Richard's team. You win the Charlie. Well done, Richard.

0:20:50 > 0:20:53Time now to fire up our Charlie-flavoured fruit machine.

0:20:53 > 0:20:56Each time I spin, out will pop three faces.

0:20:56 > 0:20:58Our team have to match the extraordinary facts to the

0:20:58 > 0:21:01extraordinary Charlie. So, let's spin.

0:21:01 > 0:21:04We have got, Public Enemy frontman Chuck D,

0:21:04 > 0:21:06we've got Charlie Sheen,

0:21:06 > 0:21:09and we've got Charlie Simpson, AKA Charlie from Busted.

0:21:09 > 0:21:12The question is, who published a volume of poetry called

0:21:12 > 0:21:15A Piece Of My Mind? Josh, what do you think?

0:21:15 > 0:21:19I actually know quite a lot about Charlie Simpson from Busted.

0:21:19 > 0:21:21LAUGHTER

0:21:21 > 0:21:24- So do I. - Do you?- I'm a huge fan of Busted.

0:21:24 > 0:21:27When I was travelling around America,

0:21:27 > 0:21:30the only thing we had to do on the train was that we had...

0:21:30 > 0:21:33We'd bought some Smash Hits Top Trumps at the airport,

0:21:33 > 0:21:38so I can tell you that Charlie Simpson from Busted is 193cm tall.

0:21:40 > 0:21:44And he has a phwoar factor of 97.

0:21:44 > 0:21:45Phwoar!

0:21:45 > 0:21:46Yeah.

0:21:46 > 0:21:49I think they're trying to lure us in with Chuck D just because he's a rapper.

0:21:49 > 0:21:52I think Charlie Sheen is the kind of person,

0:21:52 > 0:21:54he's done lots of unlikely things, hasn't he?

0:21:54 > 0:21:58- He's done everything else.- And he's quite outspoken. He'd give people a piece of his mind.

0:21:58 > 0:22:01He would give people a piece of his mind. I'm going to...

0:22:01 > 0:22:04- We're going to go for Sheen. - Sheen, for you. OK.

0:22:04 > 0:22:07- And how about your team, Richard? - Charlie took himself very seriously,

0:22:07 > 0:22:10but didn't write the lyrics in Busted, that was James.

0:22:10 > 0:22:12- Thank you. - LAUGHTER

0:22:13 > 0:22:16My secret is out!

0:22:16 > 0:22:18I have been to the year 3000.

0:22:20 > 0:22:24LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

0:22:25 > 0:22:29I once met James from Busted and Tom who leads McFly and they

0:22:29 > 0:22:32wrote the songs together and I talked about The Year 3000,

0:22:32 > 0:22:33because it says, "I've been to the year 3000..."

0:22:33 > 0:22:37And it says, "Your great-great-great granddaughter is pretty fine."

0:22:37 > 0:22:41And I said, "Your great-great-great granddaughter's not going to be there in the year 3000, James,

0:22:41 > 0:22:45"because it'd be like your great-great-great-great-great-great great-great-great granddaughter."

0:22:45 > 0:22:48He said, "Advances in medical science, mate."

0:22:49 > 0:22:52- So, Chuck D or Charlie from Busted? - Chuck D, please.- Chuck D.

0:22:52 > 0:22:57You want to go for a bit of Chuck D. Let's see the right answer.

0:22:57 > 0:22:58It's Charlie Sheen.

0:22:58 > 0:23:00APPLAUSE

0:23:00 > 0:23:04Published in 1988 under the name Charles Sheen.

0:23:04 > 0:23:07Of course, one of Sheen's favourite lines is...cocaine.

0:23:09 > 0:23:12Josh, you win. Congratulations. You win the Charlie.

0:23:12 > 0:23:14CHEERS AND APPLAUSE

0:23:16 > 0:23:20So, next up, we've got B movie muscleman Chuck Norris,

0:23:20 > 0:23:24EastEnders star Charlie Brooks, and Carry On star Charles Hawtrey.

0:23:24 > 0:23:28The question is - who had to be rescued naked from their home

0:23:28 > 0:23:30by firemen when someone set fire to their sofa?

0:23:30 > 0:23:33- I had to be rescued by firemen from my bedroom.- Did you?- Yeah.

0:23:33 > 0:23:36I had a sliding door and my girlfriend at the time got up

0:23:36 > 0:23:39to open it and it came off of its feet and just blocked the door.

0:23:39 > 0:23:42We couldn't get out. So we had to get the fire brigade and they climbed through the window

0:23:42 > 0:23:46and the first thing the fireman said when he got into our house was, "Bit hot in here."

0:23:46 > 0:23:50And I was like, "Most of the houses you're in are on fire, mate!"

0:23:51 > 0:23:55My initial feeling would be that it would be Charlie Brooks,

0:23:55 > 0:23:57Janine from EastEnders,

0:23:57 > 0:24:00because I don't think they'd have chosen her as one of the options,

0:24:00 > 0:24:04would they? I haven't thought about her in 15 years!

0:24:04 > 0:24:07So you're going to go for Charlie Brooks. Richard's team, who do you think?

0:24:07 > 0:24:11- What do you think? - We should go Chuck, shouldn't we? Because when you get an action man,

0:24:11 > 0:24:15they're normally the ones who muck up on their real life.

0:24:15 > 0:24:16What do you think, Rob?

0:24:16 > 0:24:20- Maybe he might have dropped one of his Uzis down the sofa.- His what?!

0:24:20 > 0:24:23His Uzis. He's got an Uzi. We're clashing with accents here,

0:24:23 > 0:24:25- aren't we? - We'll be subtitled, don't worry.

0:24:29 > 0:24:32Every time Richard speaks, it just says "normal".

0:24:34 > 0:24:37- We're going to go for Chuck Norris. - You've gone for Chuck Norris.

0:24:37 > 0:24:40The correct answer is...

0:24:40 > 0:24:42Charles Hawtrey.

0:24:42 > 0:24:47Charles Hawtrey had to be rescued by the fire brigade naked and without his toupee

0:24:47 > 0:24:50after an enraged rent boy, whom Hawtrey had refused to pay,

0:24:50 > 0:24:51set fire to his sofa.

0:24:51 > 0:24:55- He was notoriously tight, Charles Hawtrey.- Oh, yeah?

0:24:55 > 0:24:58He moved to... LAUGHTER

0:24:59 > 0:25:02Are you saying that's how the fire started?

0:25:06 > 0:25:08LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

0:25:11 > 0:25:15He didn't pay cab drivers, he didn't pay rent boys, so one set fire to his sofa.

0:25:15 > 0:25:19By the way, that's not just a normal list. Cab drivers, rent boys... That's a hell of a jump.

0:25:19 > 0:25:23- Do you tip your cab driver, Richard?- Oh, yeah.

0:25:23 > 0:25:25What about your rent boys?

0:25:25 > 0:25:27Well, he lets me come on the show.

0:25:27 > 0:25:31LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

0:25:35 > 0:25:38Can you imagine if you'd hired a rent boy and Rob turned up?

0:25:38 > 0:25:43- Do you spoon? - I do whatever he wants.

0:25:43 > 0:25:47There's no way that you are ever the big spoon in that situation!

0:25:47 > 0:25:51Sometimes big men need to be vulnerable.

0:25:51 > 0:25:52That's nice, that's quite sweet.

0:25:52 > 0:25:56Let's not start it now though. Let's move on with the questions.

0:25:58 > 0:26:01It's your money, Richard. I'll do what you want.

0:26:01 > 0:26:04LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

0:26:07 > 0:26:09Sadly, no-one's going to win the Charlie,

0:26:09 > 0:26:13but we have had a massive window into Richard Osman's personal life.

0:26:13 > 0:26:16Now it's time to play Finish The Fact.

0:26:16 > 0:26:18I'm going to start by reading out a Charlie-based gem.

0:26:18 > 0:26:21You're going to buzz in when you think you know how it ends.

0:26:21 > 0:26:24First up, we've got wealthy art hoarder Charles Saatchi.

0:26:27 > 0:26:31- BUZZER - The least of their worries.

0:26:34 > 0:26:37- BUZZER - Was it...? Did she have to do it?

0:26:37 > 0:26:38Yes, she did. She did.

0:26:38 > 0:26:41I don't know if she had to do it, but she did do it.

0:26:41 > 0:26:43Yeah, it was done by Nigella.

0:26:43 > 0:26:47- BUZZER - In evidence.

0:26:47 > 0:26:48BELL James.

0:26:48 > 0:26:51On Ready Steady Cook.

0:26:51 > 0:26:54- When she got married, where were they going?- Holiday.- Honeymoon.

0:26:54 > 0:26:58Honeymoon. Absolutely. The leftovers were taken...

0:26:58 > 0:27:01And only then did he try and strangle her.

0:27:03 > 0:27:06So, well done. You win the Charles. APPLAUSE

0:27:08 > 0:27:11Next up, we've got Death Wish actor Charles Bronson.

0:27:13 > 0:27:15- BELL - Disciple.

0:27:18 > 0:27:21LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

0:27:24 > 0:27:27No, he was the 11th, it's more prosaic than that...

0:27:31 > 0:27:33- BELL - In his imagination.

0:27:34 > 0:27:37- BUZZER - In the backpack of the 14th.

0:27:39 > 0:27:41Well, it has something to do with hand-me-downs.

0:27:41 > 0:27:43More to do with clothing.

0:27:43 > 0:27:45- BELL - Older sister's school uniform?

0:27:45 > 0:27:47- Correct. Yes.- Wow!

0:27:47 > 0:27:49He had to go to school in his sister's dress.

0:27:49 > 0:27:51- AUDIENCE:- Aw!

0:27:51 > 0:27:54It was then he realised what a death wish was.

0:27:54 > 0:27:57Well done, Josh. You win the Charles.

0:27:57 > 0:27:59APPLAUSE

0:28:01 > 0:28:04And so we've come to the end of the show and I can tell you that

0:28:04 > 0:28:07tonight's winners, with the most Charlies...Josh's team!

0:28:07 > 0:28:10Well done! CHEERS AND APPLAUSE

0:28:11 > 0:28:13APPLAUSE DROWNS OUT SPEECH

0:28:17 > 0:28:19So, big moment now. Big moment, Josh.

0:28:19 > 0:28:22Who are you going to nominate as the greatest Charlie of all time?

0:28:22 > 0:28:25I was thinking - British hero, and also she slags people off,

0:28:25 > 0:28:28I want to be on her good side, Charlotte Church.

0:28:28 > 0:28:30I'm very happy with that. CHEERS AND APPLAUSE

0:28:33 > 0:28:36So, let's put her in our Insert Name Here Hall Of Fame.

0:28:38 > 0:28:41That is a house party right there.

0:28:41 > 0:28:44Charles Darwin is sitting at home now going, "What the fuck?!"

0:28:46 > 0:28:49LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE My thanks to all of my guests,

0:28:49 > 0:28:52special thanks to all the Charlies here, there and everywhere, but

0:28:52 > 0:28:55mainly a massive thank you to you at home for sitting and watching.

0:28:55 > 0:28:58Thank you. Good night. CHEERS AND APPLAUSE