Tom

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0:00:14 > 0:00:16CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:00:19 > 0:00:21WHISTLING AND CHEERING

0:00:23 > 0:00:27Hello, you - and welcome to Insert Name Here,

0:00:27 > 0:00:29the show where we discover surprising facts about people

0:00:29 > 0:00:33with just one thing in common - they've all got the same name.

0:00:33 > 0:00:36Joining me, six of my favourite people, who amazingly have names.

0:00:36 > 0:00:38Please welcome Nish Kumar, Kate Williams

0:00:38 > 0:00:40and their team captain, Josh Widdicombe,

0:00:40 > 0:00:42and on the other side, Katherine Ryan, Gabby Logan

0:00:42 > 0:00:44and their captain, Richard Osman.

0:00:44 > 0:00:45APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

0:00:45 > 0:00:47APPLAUSE DROWNS SPEECH

0:00:51 > 0:00:52Welcome, one and all.

0:00:52 > 0:00:55Er, Nish, is Nish short for something?

0:00:55 > 0:00:58Or is Nish a complete, full, unexpurgated name?

0:00:58 > 0:01:01Yeah, my full name is Nishant Kumar,

0:01:01 > 0:01:05which I think I'm increasingly going to go by, because I...

0:01:05 > 0:01:07Like, my name in Sanskrit means "night's end".

0:01:07 > 0:01:10It means, like, the daybreak, Nishant, which is lovely.

0:01:10 > 0:01:11But then, earlier this year,

0:01:11 > 0:01:14I was making a travel programme in Kenya

0:01:14 > 0:01:16and I was with some guys from the Maasai,

0:01:16 > 0:01:18and when they introduced me as Nish Kumar,

0:01:18 > 0:01:21a couple of them started laughing and I was like,

0:01:21 > 0:01:23clearly, they're familiar with my work.

0:01:23 > 0:01:24LAUGHTER

0:01:24 > 0:01:27I didn't realise I was one of the big Maasai comedians, right?

0:01:27 > 0:01:31And later I found out that they were laughing because my name literally

0:01:31 > 0:01:35translated in the Maasai dialect means, "no vagina".

0:01:35 > 0:01:36LAUGHTER

0:01:36 > 0:01:39- Factually correct. - Which it, well, the thing is,

0:01:39 > 0:01:41all the English-speaking crews started calling me "no vagina",

0:01:41 > 0:01:44and it was like secondary school all over again, Sue.

0:01:44 > 0:01:45LAUGHTER

0:01:45 > 0:01:47I used to drive a Vauxhall Novagina.

0:01:47 > 0:01:48LAUGHTER

0:01:53 > 0:01:54And so to the all-important question,

0:01:54 > 0:01:56which name will be featuring tonight?

0:01:56 > 0:01:59They can be bakers, or cooks, thumbs, or tits.

0:01:59 > 0:02:01Tonight's name is Tom.

0:02:01 > 0:02:03APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

0:02:05 > 0:02:07So, as you may have guessed,

0:02:07 > 0:02:09we'll be talking about all kinds of Tom, Thomases,

0:02:09 > 0:02:11Tommys and, who knows, maybe the odd Thomasina?

0:02:11 > 0:02:14Along the way, teams will be collecting as many Toms as they can.

0:02:14 > 0:02:17At the end of the show, the winning team will have the honour

0:02:17 > 0:02:20of deciding who is officially the greatest Tom of all time.

0:02:20 > 0:02:22Josh, any early thoughts as to who your great Tom might be?

0:02:22 > 0:02:24So, I've got Tom Cruise...

0:02:24 > 0:02:25- Yes.- Tom Hanks.

0:02:25 > 0:02:28TomTom, the founder of the satnav...

0:02:28 > 0:02:29LAUGHTER

0:02:29 > 0:02:34But I can't not go with Tom Widdicombe, my dad.

0:02:34 > 0:02:36Oh, that's beautiful.

0:02:36 > 0:02:38Is he going to come up tonight?

0:02:38 > 0:02:41You know what that means in ancient Maasai?

0:02:41 > 0:02:43LAUGHTER

0:02:43 > 0:02:44Disappointing son?

0:02:44 > 0:02:46LAUGHTER

0:02:46 > 0:02:48Richard, any early thoughts on a Tom?

0:02:48 > 0:02:51Well, he's literally gone through every single one of them.

0:02:51 > 0:02:52He didn't mention Tom Jones.

0:02:52 > 0:02:54You didn't mention Tom Jones, you're quite right,

0:02:54 > 0:02:57- but I also have a family connection, as well.- But that's not unusual. - No...

0:02:57 > 0:02:59LAUGHTER Hooray!

0:02:59 > 0:03:01CHEERING

0:03:01 > 0:03:03Straight out the trap.

0:03:03 > 0:03:06My grandad is a Thomas, so I'd probably say him,

0:03:06 > 0:03:09but I'm also big fan of Tomasz Schafernaker, the BBC weatherman,

0:03:09 > 0:03:10so it's tricky.

0:03:10 > 0:03:11LAUGHTER

0:03:11 > 0:03:13- One or the other. - He's a prince amongst men.

0:03:13 > 0:03:15- Isn't he just?- He is.

0:03:15 > 0:03:18Anyway, let's get on with the show. We've got our favourite Toms.

0:03:18 > 0:03:20Now it's time to pick a Tom, any Tom.

0:03:20 > 0:03:21Our panellists choose a category.

0:03:21 > 0:03:23Behind each category lurks a famous Tom,

0:03:23 > 0:03:26which our teams must then attempt to win.

0:03:26 > 0:03:28We have got an inventive Tom,

0:03:28 > 0:03:30we've got a presidential Tom,

0:03:30 > 0:03:31a Hollywood Tom

0:03:31 > 0:03:33and a time-travelling Tom.

0:03:33 > 0:03:36So, Josh, you're up first. Choose a category, if you will.

0:03:36 > 0:03:38I think we'll go for Hollywood Tom.

0:03:38 > 0:03:41Well, you have chosen star of Mission: Impossible and Top Gun,

0:03:41 > 0:03:42Tom Cruise.

0:03:42 > 0:03:45- Whoo!- Oh, no!- Yeah... What do you mean "Oh, no"?

0:03:45 > 0:03:47He was one of your favourite Toms two minutes ago.

0:03:47 > 0:03:49LAUGHTER You can turn on a sixpence.

0:03:49 > 0:03:52- Yeah.- Let's have a look at Tom Cruise's stats.

0:03:54 > 0:03:57No. He was actually born on the 3rd of July.

0:03:57 > 0:03:59Risky Business...

0:04:04 > 0:04:05LAUGHTER

0:04:10 > 0:04:12Tom Cruise, or to give him his full name,

0:04:12 > 0:04:13Thomas Cruise Mapother IV,

0:04:13 > 0:04:16is a multiple award-winning actor. Favourite films, anybody? Anyone...?

0:04:16 > 0:04:19Favourite? Er, Shawshank Redemption's my favourite.

0:04:19 > 0:04:21LAUGHTER

0:04:21 > 0:04:23Shame, shame he never featured.

0:04:23 > 0:04:26- Oh, favourite Tom Cruise film? - Yeah.- Oh, yeah.

0:04:26 > 0:04:27LAUGHTER No.

0:04:27 > 0:04:31Which cartoon character was modelled on Tom Cruise?

0:04:31 > 0:04:34- I'm thinking Disney.- Pocahontas.

0:04:34 > 0:04:35LAUGHTER

0:04:36 > 0:04:38- Think flying carpet.- Dory.

0:04:38 > 0:04:42- Aladdin.- Aladdin? - Indeed it was Aladdin.

0:04:42 > 0:04:44Yeah, it was. Hence the famous scene where Aladdin

0:04:44 > 0:04:45jumps up and down on a sofa,

0:04:45 > 0:04:48shouting about how much he loves Princess Jasmine.

0:04:48 > 0:04:50LAUGHTER

0:04:50 > 0:04:52This is the whitewashing of Hollywood.

0:04:52 > 0:04:54Aladdin should be modelled on somebody like Nish.

0:04:54 > 0:04:57- NISH:- Yeah, exactly. I'm a classic Aladdin.

0:04:57 > 0:04:59And, do you know what? In ten years, when it all goes wrong,

0:04:59 > 0:05:01you will be at the Theatre Royal Norwich.

0:05:01 > 0:05:03LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

0:05:08 > 0:05:11Cruise also inspired another screen role other than Aladdin.

0:05:11 > 0:05:13Has anyone got any guesses...?

0:05:13 > 0:05:15Compo, Last Of The Summer Wine.

0:05:15 > 0:05:16LAUGHTER

0:05:16 > 0:05:19Think serial killer in the United States.

0:05:19 > 0:05:21- It's not Hannibal... - American Psycho?- American Psycho.

0:05:21 > 0:05:24- American Psycho?- Oh, yeah... - Absolute...- Wow.

0:05:24 > 0:05:28Christian Bale's character, Patrick Bateman, in American Psycho.

0:05:28 > 0:05:31The story went that Bale was struggling to prepare for the role,

0:05:31 > 0:05:34until he noticed "Cruise's intense friendliness

0:05:34 > 0:05:35"with nothing behind the eyes".

0:05:35 > 0:05:38LAUGHTER

0:05:38 > 0:05:40Which is basically like Piers Morgan,

0:05:40 > 0:05:43but without the intense friendliness. LAUGHTER

0:05:43 > 0:05:46- So, yeah.- And then Christian Bale has got to bump into Tom Cruise

0:05:46 > 0:05:50after he's publicly said that at Hollywood get-togethers.

0:05:50 > 0:05:53But you can't hurt someone who's got nothing behind the eyes.

0:05:53 > 0:05:55Tom Cruise cannot break, so he'll still be like,

0:05:55 > 0:05:58"Hey, how are you?" It'll be fine.

0:05:58 > 0:06:01You can say whatever you want about Tom. We're doing it now.

0:06:01 > 0:06:04- I could be auditioned to be his next wife.- Yeah.

0:06:04 > 0:06:05LAUGHTER

0:06:05 > 0:06:08- Yeah.- Would you marry him, if you had the opportunity?

0:06:08 > 0:06:10It'd be fun, right?

0:06:10 > 0:06:14I would sooner marry Tom Cruise than a real person that I loved.

0:06:14 > 0:06:15LAUGHTER

0:06:18 > 0:06:20Erm, Tom Cruise has had many things,

0:06:20 > 0:06:22many things named in his honour.

0:06:22 > 0:06:24Do any spring to mind?

0:06:24 > 0:06:25Missile?

0:06:25 > 0:06:26LAUGHTER

0:06:26 > 0:06:29Not named after him but, yeah, I'll give you that, yeah.

0:06:29 > 0:06:31Is there a national day in Japan?

0:06:31 > 0:06:33- There is indeed... - Of course there is.

0:06:33 > 0:06:37..a day named after him. This is the 10th of October.

0:06:37 > 0:06:39The Japan Memorial Day Association

0:06:39 > 0:06:42awarded Cruise his own day in 2006 to mark the fact

0:06:42 > 0:06:44that Thomas made more visits to the Far East

0:06:44 > 0:06:46than any other Western actor.

0:06:46 > 0:06:48It's not public, they don't have the day off, do they?

0:06:48 > 0:06:49No, a celebration.

0:06:49 > 0:06:52- Right, OK.- It's Cruise-based. - Like pancake day.

0:06:52 > 0:06:53LAUGHTER

0:06:53 > 0:06:56- Yes.- Over there, they call it Shrove Cruise Day.

0:06:56 > 0:06:58LAUGHTER

0:06:58 > 0:06:59APPLAUSE

0:07:04 > 0:07:07He's got a law named after him. The so-called Tom Cruise Law

0:07:07 > 0:07:10was campaigned for by doctors after Tom Cruise bought his own

0:07:10 > 0:07:13ultrasound machine during Katie Holmes's pregnancy.

0:07:13 > 0:07:15The law basically bans non-medical personnel

0:07:15 > 0:07:18from buying their own ultrasound devices for fear of misuse.

0:07:18 > 0:07:21You can imagine him saying, "Shall we watch telly tonight, Katie,

0:07:21 > 0:07:23"or just the inside of your womb again?"

0:07:23 > 0:07:26Whoa! There's no way he bought that for that.

0:07:26 > 0:07:29There's definitely... You're just going, "Shall we do your balls?"

0:07:29 > 0:07:31LAUGHTER

0:07:31 > 0:07:33I like how that's the first thing you think about.

0:07:33 > 0:07:36If there was an ultrasound machine here,

0:07:36 > 0:07:37straight on Nish's balls.

0:07:39 > 0:07:40And it would say "no vagina".

0:07:40 > 0:07:41LAUGHTER

0:07:41 > 0:07:43APPLAUSE

0:07:46 > 0:07:48Tom is a genuine adrenaline junkie.

0:07:48 > 0:07:51He once sat on top of the world's tallest building,

0:07:51 > 0:07:54the Burj Khalifa tower, in Dubai.

0:07:54 > 0:07:57Imagine being so insecure about your height

0:07:57 > 0:07:59that you've got to do something like that.

0:07:59 > 0:08:00LAUGHTER

0:08:01 > 0:08:03APPLAUSE

0:08:04 > 0:08:07What did he do when he was up there? Let's ask the question.

0:08:07 > 0:08:10- What did he do? - Definitely...had a wank.

0:08:10 > 0:08:12Are you saying he went to the top of a big building

0:08:12 > 0:08:15- and tossed himself off?- Yeah.

0:08:15 > 0:08:17LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

0:08:22 > 0:08:24So he actually graffitied when he was up there.

0:08:24 > 0:08:26- He's such a bell, isn't he?- Yeah.

0:08:26 > 0:08:28LAUGHTER

0:08:28 > 0:08:30OK, listen, time to play for...the Tom.

0:08:30 > 0:08:34We're going to focus on Tom's celebrity lifestyle for this one.

0:08:34 > 0:08:38So what did Tom ask Will Smith and his wife Jada

0:08:38 > 0:08:40to play in his mansion?

0:08:40 > 0:08:44- Does anybody...- Katherine knows. - Twister?- It's not Twister.

0:08:44 > 0:08:46Is it hide and seek?

0:08:46 > 0:08:48It is hide and seek!

0:08:48 > 0:08:50APPLAUSE

0:08:53 > 0:08:55This was during a gathering at Cruise's house.

0:08:55 > 0:08:57Cruise's former friend and actress Leah Remini,

0:08:57 > 0:08:59who was also there, had to explain she couldn't play

0:08:59 > 0:09:01cos she was wearing five-inch stilettos.

0:09:01 > 0:09:04Cruise replied, "Good, so you're it, then!"

0:09:04 > 0:09:06And then ran off to hide in his three-acre garden.

0:09:06 > 0:09:10Well done, Katherine, you and Richard's team win the Tom.

0:09:10 > 0:09:12APPLAUSE

0:09:16 > 0:09:18Right, Richard, your turn. Time to pick a Tom.

0:09:18 > 0:09:21Can we have Inventive Tom, please, Sue?

0:09:21 > 0:09:24And you have chosen America's greatest inventor.

0:09:24 > 0:09:25He's electric. It's Thomas Edison.

0:09:25 > 0:09:27Let's have a look at his stats...

0:09:37 > 0:09:39LAUGHTER

0:09:39 > 0:09:41Probably the most famous of Edison's inventions

0:09:41 > 0:09:42was the light bulb. Strictly speaking,

0:09:42 > 0:09:45it was an improved version of the incandescent bulb,

0:09:45 > 0:09:47using a carbon filament.

0:09:47 > 0:09:50How has the light bulb made our lives worse?

0:09:50 > 0:09:53Is it because we extend the day so long now

0:09:53 > 0:09:56- due to the light bulb that we don't live according to the natural rhythms...- Oh, yes...

0:09:56 > 0:09:59..so awake longer, it's not always good for us.

0:09:59 > 0:10:02That's absolutely right. We used to sleep ten hours a night.

0:10:02 > 0:10:06Thanks to artificial light, we now only average 6.9 hours

0:10:06 > 0:10:07and 7.5 at weekends.

0:10:07 > 0:10:09But on the plus side, we have clawed back the two hours

0:10:09 > 0:10:11we used to spend lighting candles.

0:10:11 > 0:10:13LAUGHTER

0:10:13 > 0:10:17Does anybody know what Edison's connection with Pele is?

0:10:17 > 0:10:18- Footballer Pele. - Yeah, his name is...

0:10:18 > 0:10:20- Edison.- RICHARD:- Edson Arantes... - JOSH:- Oh, yeah.

0:10:20 > 0:10:22Absolutely right.

0:10:22 > 0:10:25His parents chose it in honour of the town's new electricity supply.

0:10:25 > 0:10:27In the same way my nephew's called Sky Plus.

0:10:27 > 0:10:29LAUGHTER

0:10:29 > 0:10:30Oh, my niece is Sky Cube.

0:10:30 > 0:10:32Really? LAUGHTER

0:10:34 > 0:10:36How did you get a job with Thomas Edison?

0:10:36 > 0:10:38What would he make you do?

0:10:38 > 0:10:41Did he...? It was a series of ten tasks over weeks.

0:10:41 > 0:10:44He'd split into two teams of men and women,

0:10:44 > 0:10:47and then at the end, they'd choose a twat.

0:10:47 > 0:10:49LAUGHTER

0:10:49 > 0:10:50APPLAUSE

0:10:55 > 0:10:58You had to eat... It's a very strange one, this one.

0:10:58 > 0:11:01You probably won't... You had to eat a bowl of soup, OK?

0:11:01 > 0:11:05And if you seasoned it before you tasted it,

0:11:05 > 0:11:07- you didn't get the job. - I am with him on that.

0:11:07 > 0:11:11- Yeah.- What a weird job interview. Where you go in,

0:11:11 > 0:11:12and there's a bowl of soup.

0:11:12 > 0:11:15I think I would say, "I'm fine, thanks."

0:11:15 > 0:11:17- LAUGHTER JOSH:- Yeah, I'm quite...

0:11:17 > 0:11:20"This is a business environment, I should probably...

0:11:20 > 0:11:22"I'm actually very experienced

0:11:22 > 0:11:24"in the world of light bulb manufacturing.

0:11:24 > 0:11:26"We can just discuss my CV."

0:11:28 > 0:11:31But anyway, if they adulterated it, if they seasoned it,

0:11:31 > 0:11:32they wouldn't get the job.

0:11:32 > 0:11:35And if they did, you just went for it, then maybe.

0:11:35 > 0:11:36And then, and only then,

0:11:36 > 0:11:38would it go to a white middle-class man from Oxbridge.

0:11:38 > 0:11:42Edison's self-imposed quota was one minor invention every ten days

0:11:42 > 0:11:45and a major invention every six months.

0:11:45 > 0:11:47Anybody here invented anything?

0:11:47 > 0:11:49- Yes.- What the actual?

0:11:49 > 0:11:52It's technically not an invention, it's been invented kind of,

0:11:52 > 0:11:54but not in this form.

0:11:54 > 0:11:56- OK.- I'm really hoping it's Reggae Reggae sauce.

0:11:56 > 0:11:58LAUGHTER

0:11:58 > 0:12:03So I've felt for a long time that horns in cars

0:12:03 > 0:12:06don't tell the full story. Sometimes...

0:12:06 > 0:12:09- What stories do you want them to tell?- Because sometimes,

0:12:09 > 0:12:12when you're driving along and you want to acknowledge something nice,

0:12:12 > 0:12:14or catch the attention of someone you like,

0:12:14 > 0:12:16or let somebody in, the angry horn,

0:12:16 > 0:12:18that doesn't work in those environments, does it?

0:12:18 > 0:12:21So I would like two horns. The happy horn, which comes on...

0:12:21 > 0:12:23UPBEAT HORN SOUND

0:12:23 > 0:12:24That was really good.

0:12:24 > 0:12:27Can I ask what you mean by "acknowledge something nice"?

0:12:27 > 0:12:30- RICHARD:- You know if you're behind someone at the lights,

0:12:30 > 0:12:33and it changes... There's two ways of doing this. You could say,

0:12:33 > 0:12:35"You're an idiot, cos you haven't spotted it,"

0:12:35 > 0:12:38or it would say, "Like me, you've taken your eyes off it, but look, it's green."

0:12:38 > 0:12:40- Yeah.- And then you press Gabby's happy horn.

0:12:40 > 0:12:42LAUGHTER

0:12:42 > 0:12:44I'd be careful with your marketing of Gabby's happy horn.

0:12:44 > 0:12:47- It could sell. - I know what I'm doing.

0:12:47 > 0:12:50It might get more search mentions, so that's...

0:12:50 > 0:12:51LAUGHTER

0:12:51 > 0:12:55I want a bag of sweets that's half Maltesers and half Minstrels,

0:12:55 > 0:12:57that's what I want to do. And not Revels, because...

0:12:57 > 0:13:00But just Maltesers and Minstrels, called Maltinstrels.

0:13:00 > 0:13:04And I have written to them a number of times, and nothing so far.

0:13:04 > 0:13:07Would it be too much to ask you to buy two bags

0:13:07 > 0:13:10- and put them together in a Ziploc? - Do you know what? Would it be

0:13:10 > 0:13:13too much to ask you to just press your horn a bit differently?

0:13:13 > 0:13:15LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

0:13:20 > 0:13:24There's a lot of, yeah... We've got some surprising tension.

0:13:24 > 0:13:26Edison's inventions were successful, mind you.

0:13:26 > 0:13:29In 1880, he designed a prototype helicopter.

0:13:29 > 0:13:31How was it powered?

0:13:31 > 0:13:32Just by dreams.

0:13:32 > 0:13:33LAUGHTER

0:13:33 > 0:13:36- Bicycle, bike pedals.- Oh... - Much more dangerous than that.

0:13:36 > 0:13:39- Fire.- I'll give you that, it was gunpowder.

0:13:39 > 0:13:41It was a gunpowder...

0:13:41 > 0:13:42LAUGHTER

0:13:42 > 0:13:45..helicopter. It used an early form of combustion engine,

0:13:45 > 0:13:47driven by a highly explosive type of gunpowder

0:13:47 > 0:13:50called guncotton, which exploded and destroyed

0:13:50 > 0:13:54part of his laboratory. But on the plus side, at least some of it

0:13:54 > 0:13:55went straight up in the air.

0:13:55 > 0:13:57Luckily, he had a safety feature installed,

0:13:57 > 0:14:00the gas-operated fire extinguisher.

0:14:00 > 0:14:01LAUGHTER

0:14:01 > 0:14:04Time now to play for the Tom.

0:14:04 > 0:14:08Thomas Edison was lifelong pals with Henry Ford.

0:14:08 > 0:14:12Ford had a memento of Edison in his office.

0:14:12 > 0:14:15Something to do with bodily function. What was it?

0:14:15 > 0:14:17- Sweat.- Not sweat.

0:14:17 > 0:14:20- Saliva.- Did he have a tooth? - Close to saliva.

0:14:20 > 0:14:21- What's close?- His breath.

0:14:21 > 0:14:23- NISH:- Wait, what's...?- Blood.

0:14:23 > 0:14:26- In a jar, his breath, like... - You got it, Katherine, his breath.

0:14:26 > 0:14:27- His final breath.- Ah!

0:14:27 > 0:14:29- His final breath?!- Wow!

0:14:29 > 0:14:33- His final breath.- How can you...? - His last breath, if not his final one.

0:14:33 > 0:14:34- RICHARD:- But also, to get his final one,

0:14:34 > 0:14:37given he wouldn't have known what was going to be the final one,

0:14:37 > 0:14:40he must have held that over his mouth for a really long time.

0:14:40 > 0:14:42- I suspect that's what killed him. - Probably, yeah.

0:14:42 > 0:14:43LAUGHTER

0:14:43 > 0:14:46Congratulations, Richard's team, you win the Tom.

0:14:46 > 0:14:48APPLAUSE

0:14:49 > 0:14:51There's plenty to play for, guys, plenty to play for.

0:14:51 > 0:14:54Right, Joshy, it's your turn to pick a Tom.

0:14:54 > 0:14:56Let's go for time-travelling Tom.

0:14:56 > 0:15:00Right, you've chosen time-travelling actor and fourth Doctor Who,

0:15:00 > 0:15:01Tom Baker.

0:15:02 > 0:15:04Yeah, let's have a look at his stats.

0:15:04 > 0:15:06Age, 83.

0:15:06 > 0:15:09Doctor Who's age, 2,100.

0:15:09 > 0:15:11Sex, male.

0:15:11 > 0:15:13Doctor Who's sex, variable!

0:15:13 > 0:15:16CHEERING

0:15:16 > 0:15:18Tom Baker is the longest-serving Doctor Who,

0:15:18 > 0:15:23clocking up 71 hours and 37 minutes in all his regular episodes.

0:15:23 > 0:15:26Tom grew up in wartime Liverpool, describing it as a happy time.

0:15:26 > 0:15:28"It was fantastic," he said...

0:15:35 > 0:15:38What did he do after he left school at 15?

0:15:38 > 0:15:41Joined the Nazi Party?

0:15:41 > 0:15:42He did join something.

0:15:42 > 0:15:45Did he find a phone box and then leave school at 12?

0:15:49 > 0:15:54No, it was something a little bit more spiritual than that.

0:15:54 > 0:15:57- He trained to be a monk, did he? - He did indeed.

0:15:57 > 0:15:59He effectively travelled back in time 1,000 years

0:15:59 > 0:16:02and became a monk in Jersey, yeah.

0:16:02 > 0:16:04Towards the end of his time at the monastery,

0:16:04 > 0:16:06how did he fall out with the other monks?

0:16:06 > 0:16:09Did Tom Baker sneak in babes into the monastery?

0:16:09 > 0:16:11No, it wasn't, sort of, lady-related,

0:16:11 > 0:16:14he was trying to, erm...

0:16:14 > 0:16:17trying to cause digestive harm to them.

0:16:17 > 0:16:18Putting laxatives in their food?

0:16:18 > 0:16:20He was putting something in their food, yeah.

0:16:20 > 0:16:23He laced their soup with rabbit droppings in what he describes as a

0:16:23 > 0:16:27"not-too-serious attempt to poison the lot of them."

0:16:29 > 0:16:30All the monks thought it was horrible,

0:16:30 > 0:16:32apart from Brother Bear Grylls.

0:16:32 > 0:16:36In 1974, Baker was working on a building site when he heard he had

0:16:36 > 0:16:39been cast as Doctor Who. Here he is, towering over his co-workers.

0:16:39 > 0:16:42- JOSH:- Why is Fred West on the far right?

0:16:43 > 0:16:48- RICHARD:- And also, why is he the good guy in that?

0:16:48 > 0:16:51Tom played the Doctor from '74 to '81,

0:16:51 > 0:16:52one of the show's most popular periods.

0:16:52 > 0:16:56What was unusual about the cast in the classic 1977 adventure,

0:16:56 > 0:16:58The Talons Of Weng-Chiang?

0:16:58 > 0:17:00Potentially Chinese or Oriental.

0:17:00 > 0:17:02Yes, what could possibly go wrong with that set-up?

0:17:02 > 0:17:04- Oh, no!- None of them were Chinese or Oriental?

0:17:04 > 0:17:06None of them were Chinese or, yeah,

0:17:06 > 0:17:08they were played largely by white actors.

0:17:08 > 0:17:12Here's Li H'sen Chang played by John Bennett.

0:17:12 > 0:17:14- There he is.- Oh, boy.

0:17:14 > 0:17:15It's ridiculous, isn't it?

0:17:15 > 0:17:19I mean, couldn't a white woman have played that part?

0:17:19 > 0:17:21Doctor Who has featured some terrifying monsters,

0:17:21 > 0:17:23so get ready to hide behind the sofa.

0:17:23 > 0:17:27The Androids Of Tara featured the Taran wood beast!

0:17:29 > 0:17:31No.

0:17:31 > 0:17:33- Come on.- That's, like, an evil Ewok.

0:17:33 > 0:17:37It's a shame that the mask had melted on the radiator overnight.

0:17:37 > 0:17:40And then my favourite, Erato, the creature from the pit.

0:17:40 > 0:17:43Best, I think, enjoyed in clip form.

0:17:49 > 0:17:51AUDIENCE LAUGHTER

0:18:00 > 0:18:03Is this the ultrasound? This is the ultrasound, yeah.

0:18:03 > 0:18:05APPLAUSE

0:18:05 > 0:18:07- Wow.- Isn't that extraordinary?

0:18:07 > 0:18:11Does anybody know how Doctor Who communicated with this creature?

0:18:11 > 0:18:14- Oh...- What?! - LAUGHTER

0:18:14 > 0:18:18Yeah, you really want to know. Let me tell you. Let's have a look.

0:18:18 > 0:18:19No, no, no.

0:18:23 > 0:18:24LAUGHTER

0:18:43 > 0:18:46So big when it was coming at him, wasn't it?

0:18:46 > 0:18:49Like, face size, and then it was this big.

0:18:49 > 0:18:52Yeah, it's a bit colder in that bit of the cave.

0:18:52 > 0:18:55Does anybody have any phobias, generally?

0:18:55 > 0:18:56I'm afraid of sponge.

0:18:59 > 0:19:02In a previous job, you would have been an absolute nightmare for me.

0:19:02 > 0:19:03So, hang on...

0:19:08 > 0:19:10Cake sponge or sea sponge?

0:19:10 > 0:19:13I don't mind a sea sponge, can cope with that.

0:19:13 > 0:19:14I can cope with a sea sponge.

0:19:14 > 0:19:16You can't cope with a cake sponge?

0:19:16 > 0:19:17I don't mind a cake sponge,

0:19:17 > 0:19:19but sometimes when you sit down in a chair,

0:19:19 > 0:19:22the sponge is exposed, and I can cope with a bath sponge...

0:19:22 > 0:19:24Oh, God, this is very deep, isn't it?

0:19:24 > 0:19:29You can cope with a bath sponge and a sea sponge and a cake sponge.

0:19:29 > 0:19:31- Yeah.- I think that's all the sponges.

0:19:32 > 0:19:36I have actually been handed a foam mattress when I was at a sleepover

0:19:36 > 0:19:38when I was a teenager, and it was so awful,

0:19:38 > 0:19:42my mum had to come and pick me up. It was so awful.

0:19:42 > 0:19:44I tried to keep it to myself

0:19:44 > 0:19:46cos I knew everyone would laugh at me.

0:19:48 > 0:19:51Josh, that's really bad from you!

0:19:51 > 0:19:55OK, listen, it's time to play for the Tom.

0:19:55 > 0:19:58Baker recently revealed he'd made an unusual purchase.

0:19:58 > 0:20:00Does anybody know what it was?

0:20:00 > 0:20:03It's second hand and he hasn't used it yet.

0:20:03 > 0:20:04Oh, is it an ultrasound?

0:20:04 > 0:20:08- Oh, is it a coffin?- It's related to a coffin, I'll give you that.

0:20:08 > 0:20:11- Gravestone?- It's a gravestone, yeah, it's a gravestone.

0:20:11 > 0:20:14He's bought his own gravestone. It's, more accurately,

0:20:14 > 0:20:16the gravestone which he intends to be his own.

0:20:16 > 0:20:17He told the Independent,

0:20:17 > 0:20:20"It's a very old second-hand one I bought for myself.

0:20:20 > 0:20:24"Now, in glorious, bold top billing, it reads 'Tom Baker 1934- .'"

0:20:26 > 0:20:29Well done, Richard, congratulations, you win the Tom.

0:20:35 > 0:20:37Time now to fire up the Tom-flavoured fruit machine.

0:20:37 > 0:20:40Each time I spin, up will pop three of my favourite Toms.

0:20:40 > 0:20:42Our team must match the extraordinary fact

0:20:42 > 0:20:43to the extraordinary Tom,

0:20:43 > 0:20:46and also a chance to unearth more candidates

0:20:46 > 0:20:48for the greatest Tom of all time. Let's spin.

0:20:48 > 0:20:52So, you have got diving nearly-man, Tom Daley,

0:20:52 > 0:20:54all-American sports star, Tom Brady,

0:20:54 > 0:20:57and... SHE PURRS

0:20:57 > 0:20:59Magnum PI, Tom Selleck.

0:20:59 > 0:21:01Josh's team, first, which Tom persuaded Kate Moss

0:21:01 > 0:21:03to pose for a photo shoot?

0:21:03 > 0:21:06Tom Brady is married to Gisele, who is a model.

0:21:06 > 0:21:09But, I mean, if you're Gisele and your husband goes,

0:21:09 > 0:21:11"Can we get Kate Moss round to do bit of modelling?"

0:21:11 > 0:21:14I mean, that's a divorce, surely.

0:21:14 > 0:21:16I don't know much about Selleck.

0:21:16 > 0:21:17I know he has a moustache

0:21:17 > 0:21:21and that he was famously very poor at doing up buttons.

0:21:21 > 0:21:25Those are the two key Selleck facts.

0:21:25 > 0:21:27So, if I was to push you for an answer?

0:21:27 > 0:21:29I sort of think Brady, there's some sort of weird...

0:21:29 > 0:21:31- There's a Gisele link.- Modelling. - Yeah.- We might as well go...

0:21:31 > 0:21:33Yeah, it's the only link we can think of.

0:21:33 > 0:21:35- So, you're going to go for Tom Brady?- Tom Brady.

0:21:35 > 0:21:38All right, that's your choice. Richard, where would you tend to...?

0:21:38 > 0:21:41I once had to pick Tom Daley up from school when he was 14.

0:21:41 > 0:21:42- Aww!- Here we go.

0:21:42 > 0:21:44Then take him back to his house.

0:21:44 > 0:21:47- Did he seem persuasive?- He was very, very persuasive.

0:21:47 > 0:21:49Did he ask you to take any photos?

0:21:49 > 0:21:53No, but he did make me sit on his bed and hold his lucky monkey.

0:21:55 > 0:21:57We can't go through this again.

0:21:57 > 0:22:01We can't go through this, he can't weather a storm like this.

0:22:01 > 0:22:04And he said, "Sit down." So I sat on the bed.

0:22:04 > 0:22:07He said, "Oh, that's my lucky monkey," and he gave me it to hold.

0:22:07 > 0:22:10At that point, I had looked at the camera crew, or the cameraman...

0:22:10 > 0:22:13Oh, right, sorry there was a camera crew.

0:22:13 > 0:22:15- I just thought it was an event in your life.- No, no.

0:22:15 > 0:22:19- It did feel a bit strange. - Are the BBC not paying you properly?

0:22:19 > 0:22:21- Do we think it's Tom Daley?- Yeah.

0:22:21 > 0:22:23- Is that what we think?- Tom Daley seems persuasive to me.

0:22:23 > 0:22:27- Yeah, yeah.- We're going to say Tom Daley.- Let's have a look.

0:22:27 > 0:22:29- Tom Daley is absolutely right. - Oh, dear.

0:22:29 > 0:22:32He met Kate Moss at a publicity event and asked her if she would

0:22:32 > 0:22:37pose for a photo shoot for his GCSE photography course work.

0:22:37 > 0:22:38And she agreed.

0:22:38 > 0:22:41Congratulations, Richard's team, you win the Tom.

0:22:41 > 0:22:42Another Tom.

0:22:42 > 0:22:45APPLAUSE

0:22:47 > 0:22:49Let's bring up three more Toms. What have we got?

0:22:49 > 0:22:51Turner & Hooch star, Tom Hanks,

0:22:51 > 0:22:53misunderstood singer, Thom Yorke,

0:22:53 > 0:22:56and Cannon and Ball star Tommy Cannon.

0:22:56 > 0:22:59As a child, which Tom had a poster on their wall

0:22:59 > 0:23:03showing the impact crumple zones on a Volvo?

0:23:03 > 0:23:05- Richard, what do you think? - Goodness me.

0:23:05 > 0:23:08I love that if Tom Hanks is watching this, he'll go,

0:23:08 > 0:23:10"Oh, I'm Turner & Hooch star, am I?

0:23:13 > 0:23:15"That's who I am in England?"

0:23:15 > 0:23:18I would have thought that Tommy Cannon, with respect to him...

0:23:18 > 0:23:20This is as a child?

0:23:20 > 0:23:25- As a child.- I wonder if Volvos were over here at that stage.

0:23:25 > 0:23:30- JOSH:- I was thinking whether posters had been invented by then.

0:23:30 > 0:23:33When do you think posters were invented?

0:23:33 > 0:23:36Like Blu Tack. I bet Tommy Cannon's older than Blu Tack.

0:23:36 > 0:23:38- RICHARD:- Oh, now that's a show!

0:23:40 > 0:23:41Thom Yorke, do you think?

0:23:41 > 0:23:43He's notorious for being a little bit odd.

0:23:43 > 0:23:45It feels like he might have a...

0:23:45 > 0:23:48- Sure.- Yeah, we're going to say Thom Yorke, please.

0:23:48 > 0:23:50You're going to say Thom Yorke, the genius of Thom Yorke.

0:23:50 > 0:23:51And Josh's team?

0:23:51 > 0:23:54Tom Hanks... Is he older than Copydex?

0:23:56 > 0:23:57Pritt Stick.

0:23:57 > 0:23:59LAUGHTER

0:23:59 > 0:24:02Here's Joe Pasquale, here's a Pritt Stick.

0:24:02 > 0:24:04As always, just one question.

0:24:04 > 0:24:05See you after the break.

0:24:08 > 0:24:12I agree with their view that Tommy Cannon predates the poster.

0:24:13 > 0:24:15- Let's go Hanks.- Hanks?- Yeah, yeah.

0:24:15 > 0:24:17You're going Hanks. All right, let's see...

0:24:17 > 0:24:19Bobby Ball's watching this as well. Bobby Ball's wife is going,

0:24:19 > 0:24:22"There's sort of a picture of you on television."

0:24:24 > 0:24:25"But I wouldn't come down from the loft."

0:24:30 > 0:24:34Put the whole dog on, that's fine.

0:24:34 > 0:24:39All right, so you've said Yorke. You've said Hanks.

0:24:39 > 0:24:40Let's see what the right answer is.

0:24:40 > 0:24:45- Blimey.- Congratulations, then. Richard's team, you win the Tom.

0:24:46 > 0:24:47We're cruising, we're cruising.

0:24:50 > 0:24:52Right, everybody, let's now play Finish The Fact.

0:24:52 > 0:24:55I'm going to start by reading out a Tom-based gem.

0:24:55 > 0:24:57You buzz in when you think you know how it ends.

0:24:57 > 0:24:59First of all, screen hunk Tom Hiddleston.

0:24:59 > 0:25:03One of Tom Hiddleston's first professional appearances was in...?

0:25:03 > 0:25:07- BELL Josh?- It was midfield for Tottenham Hotspur.

0:25:07 > 0:25:08BUZZER

0:25:08 > 0:25:10Was it in Mr Blobby?

0:25:10 > 0:25:14It wouldn't surprise you, would it? Someone was in there.

0:25:14 > 0:25:15BUZZER

0:25:15 > 0:25:18Was it in a mirror, and then another mirror, and then another mirror,

0:25:18 > 0:25:20and then another mirror?

0:25:20 > 0:25:25It was actually Casualty, playing a window cleaner

0:25:25 > 0:25:27who causes an accident by...?

0:25:27 > 0:25:28BELL

0:25:28 > 0:25:32Is it banana skin near a mousetrap factory?

0:25:32 > 0:25:35- BUZZER - And if it is, can we watch the clip?

0:25:35 > 0:25:38- RICHARD:- Was it an accident by a window?

0:25:38 > 0:25:41Yes, it was an accident by a window.

0:25:41 > 0:25:45He knocked a woman over a balcony whilst abseiling.

0:25:47 > 0:25:48Let's see Tom in action, shall we?

0:25:53 > 0:25:55Ready, go.

0:25:58 > 0:25:59Marlon?

0:26:00 > 0:26:01Marlon?

0:26:01 > 0:26:02BABY CRIES

0:26:04 > 0:26:05Marlon?

0:26:05 > 0:26:06Marlon!

0:26:07 > 0:26:09Marlo... Aah!

0:26:09 > 0:26:10AUDIENCE LAUGHTER

0:26:16 > 0:26:17Ugh!

0:26:22 > 0:26:25- That is... - Textbook, textbook Casualty.

0:26:25 > 0:26:26- Quite extraordinary, isn't it?- Wow.

0:26:26 > 0:26:28That woman can't come to the phone right now.

0:26:28 > 0:26:29Why? Because she's dead.

0:26:31 > 0:26:33Sadly, no-one won that.

0:26:33 > 0:26:35I would have been actually, sort of,

0:26:35 > 0:26:37deeply impressed if you'd known what that was about.

0:26:37 > 0:26:41Next up, it's a good one for you, Josh - it's Thomas The Tank Engine.

0:26:41 > 0:26:44- Oh! I'll know this.- In the third Thomas The Tank Engine story,

0:26:44 > 0:26:47Henry refuses to emerge from a tunnel because...

0:26:47 > 0:26:49- BELL - Hates the French.

0:26:54 > 0:26:56It's actually, it's...

0:26:56 > 0:26:58one of the later episodes, they've run out of storylines.

0:26:58 > 0:27:00BUZZER

0:27:00 > 0:27:03Was he just not ready for another regional accent?

0:27:05 > 0:27:08He was actually afraid that the rain would spoil his new paintwork.

0:27:08 > 0:27:10And so, the Fat Controller orders...

0:27:10 > 0:27:12BELL

0:27:12 > 0:27:14- Josh?- It's not, like, a bus replacement service?

0:27:16 > 0:27:17BUZZER

0:27:17 > 0:27:20I know it - does he make him live in the tunnel forever?

0:27:20 > 0:27:23- He says, "Never come out." - Yes, he does.- What?!

0:27:23 > 0:27:26Henry has to be bricked up in the tunnel forever.

0:27:26 > 0:27:30- This is, like, Room for trains. - Yeah.

0:27:30 > 0:27:32It was adapted for TV.

0:27:32 > 0:27:34The Fat Controller tells Henry, "We shall take away your rails."

0:27:34 > 0:27:37And Thomas and the other engines pass by saying things like,

0:27:37 > 0:27:39"Serves you right."

0:27:39 > 0:27:41You see the next one where they try to lighten the mood

0:27:41 > 0:27:44with an episode called Thomas Hits A Cow In A Siding.

0:27:44 > 0:27:46You know that picture there?

0:27:46 > 0:27:49- Yeah.- That's where Donald Trump got the idea.- Yeah.

0:27:51 > 0:27:54Well done, well done, Katherine, you win that for Richard's team.

0:27:56 > 0:27:59Right, we've come to the end of the show,

0:27:59 > 0:28:01and I can now tell you that tonight's winners

0:28:01 > 0:28:02with the most Toms...

0:28:02 > 0:28:04Richard's team.

0:28:04 > 0:28:06APPLAUSE

0:28:09 > 0:28:12So, very big moment now, Richard.

0:28:12 > 0:28:14Who are you going to nominate as the greatest Tom of all time?

0:28:14 > 0:28:17I think it would have to be, of the ones we've seen tonight,

0:28:17 > 0:28:20I think probably Thomas Edison for inventing the light bulb,

0:28:20 > 0:28:22which is really, really helpful,

0:28:22 > 0:28:24as long as you make sure you turn your lights off

0:28:24 > 0:28:25and get enough sleep.

0:28:25 > 0:28:29Only you could make that sentiment sinister. I really enjoyed that.

0:28:29 > 0:28:30Don't have nightmares.

0:28:32 > 0:28:33That is a truly worthy choice,

0:28:33 > 0:28:36let's put him on the Insert Name Here Hall of Fame.

0:28:36 > 0:28:39Up he goes, joining those who made it from the last series.

0:28:39 > 0:28:44I hereby declare that Thomas Edison is the greatest Tom of all time.

0:28:44 > 0:28:46APPLAUSE

0:28:50 > 0:28:51Many thanks to all our guests.

0:28:51 > 0:28:54Special thanks to all the Toms here, there, and everywhere,

0:28:54 > 0:28:57but, most of all, a big thanks to you at home for watching. Goodnight.