0:00:15 > 0:00:18CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:00:24 > 0:00:26Hello and welcome to Insert Name Here,
0:00:26 > 0:00:27the show where we discover
0:00:27 > 0:00:31surprising facts about people with just one thing in common -
0:00:31 > 0:00:32they've all got the same name.
0:00:32 > 0:00:35Joining me, six of my favourite people, all of whom have names.
0:00:35 > 0:00:37Please welcome Ed Gamble, Suzannah Lipscombe,
0:00:37 > 0:00:39and their team captain, Josh Widdicombe.
0:00:39 > 0:00:41And on the other side - Katy Brand, Amol Rajan,
0:00:41 > 0:00:43and their captain, Richard Osman.
0:00:48 > 0:00:52Now, Amol, you're the first Amol we've had on the show,
0:00:52 > 0:00:54- this is big news for us. - There aren't many Amols around.
0:00:54 > 0:00:58But also it's a problem because my parents wouldn't have known this
0:00:58 > 0:01:00when they named me in India a long time ago, but Amol,
0:01:00 > 0:01:03you pronounce my name "a mole", but a mole is obviously what you call
0:01:03 > 0:01:05someone inside an organisation who tells you secrets,
0:01:05 > 0:01:08- and I used to work at the Foreign Office. - LAUGHTER
0:01:08 > 0:01:09So I'd ring people up and I'd say,
0:01:09 > 0:01:11"It's Amol from the Foreign Office..."
0:01:11 > 0:01:13- They'd be like... - HE MOUTHS
0:01:13 > 0:01:15LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:01:19 > 0:01:21And so to the all-important question,
0:01:21 > 0:01:22which name is going to feature tonight?
0:01:22 > 0:01:25Well, you'll find them all the way from Merton to Hollywood,
0:01:25 > 0:01:29it's the name of the best McGann and the second naughtiest Ross.
0:01:29 > 0:01:31Tonight's name is Paul.
0:01:36 > 0:01:38So, tonight, we're going to be talking about all kinds of Paul,
0:01:38 > 0:01:41including Paulas, Paulines and maybe even the odd Pablo.
0:01:41 > 0:01:44Along the way, our teams will collect as many Pauls as they can
0:01:44 > 0:01:47and at the end of the show, the winning team will have the honour of
0:01:47 > 0:01:51deciding who's officially the greatest Paul of all-time.
0:01:51 > 0:01:54Now, any early thoughts, Josh, about who the greatest Paul might be?
0:01:54 > 0:01:57I like the Pauls that you don't know are Pauls.
0:01:57 > 0:01:59- Oh, the hidden Pauls? - The hidden Pauls.
0:01:59 > 0:02:02- Paul Hewson, Bono.- Yes.
0:02:02 > 0:02:06Paul Arthurs, Bonehead from Oasis.
0:02:06 > 0:02:08He's even a hidden bonehead, though, to be fair.
0:02:10 > 0:02:13People are not going, "You're kidding me, Bonehead is really called Paul?!"
0:02:16 > 0:02:17Richard, how about you?
0:02:17 > 0:02:18Do you have a greatest Paul of all-time?
0:02:18 > 0:02:21It's a dilemma, isn't it? Because I was thinking, of course,
0:02:21 > 0:02:24like all of us, I was thinking of Paul Dirac,
0:02:24 > 0:02:27the British quantum physicist and
0:02:27 > 0:02:30one of the forefathers of quantum mechanics.
0:02:30 > 0:02:33And he was the drummer in Oasis for a bit.
0:02:34 > 0:02:37Then I thought about Pauline Quirke from Birds Of A feather.
0:02:37 > 0:02:39- Oh.- You know what?
0:02:39 > 0:02:42Pauline Quirke could probably turn her hand to quantum mechanics,
0:02:42 > 0:02:45whereas, I bet Paul Dirac could not act in Birds Of A Feather,
0:02:45 > 0:02:47so I'm going to go with Pauline Quirke, I think.
0:02:47 > 0:02:50I think there are many who couldn't act in Birds Of A Feather.
0:02:50 > 0:02:52Some of them are in Birds Of A Feather.
0:02:53 > 0:02:56Let's get on with the show.
0:02:56 > 0:02:57Time to pick a Paul, any Paul.
0:02:57 > 0:02:59Our panellists are going to choose a category,
0:02:59 > 0:03:01and behind each category lurks a famous Paul,
0:03:01 > 0:03:03which our teams must then attempt to win.
0:03:03 > 0:03:05So, we have got...
0:03:12 > 0:03:14Josh, you're up first, so choose a category if you will.
0:03:14 > 0:03:16Let's go with Rocky Paul.
0:03:16 > 0:03:21You've got Irish pop star Paul Hewson, aka Bono.
0:03:21 > 0:03:24Here he is in a rare moment of smugness.
0:03:27 > 0:03:29Also, it's not often you see him
0:03:29 > 0:03:30- with his sunglasses on, is it? - Oh, no, no.
0:03:30 > 0:03:33- ED GAMBLE:- They're not sunglasses, he's just been at the dentist
0:03:33 > 0:03:34and he's left those little...
0:03:37 > 0:03:39Let's unleash some stats.
0:03:50 > 0:03:53Number of complaints I'm going to receive, more than tree.
0:03:55 > 0:03:59He is the lead singer of U2, producing 15 albums, 60-plus singles
0:03:59 > 0:04:02and selling over 170 million records.
0:04:02 > 0:04:05For the purposes of full disclosure, do we have any U2 fans in the house?
0:04:05 > 0:04:09- Ah, Suzannah. Welcome.- Well, in my youth, when I was a teenager,
0:04:09 > 0:04:11massive U2 fan.
0:04:11 > 0:04:15- Were you?- Yeah. I once went to a concert at Wembley
0:04:15 > 0:04:17and it started at 7.30 in the evening
0:04:17 > 0:04:18and I went there at 7.30 in the morning,
0:04:18 > 0:04:21- so that I could be right at the front.- No!- Wow.
0:04:21 > 0:04:24Yes, my ex-boyfriend at the time, I was 18,
0:04:24 > 0:04:27he also had done this around the other side with his sister.
0:04:27 > 0:04:31And there was a moment where Bono went round during the concert and chose,
0:04:31 > 0:04:32like this, and then chose a woman
0:04:32 > 0:04:34who was going to dance with him on the stage.
0:04:34 > 0:04:36And his sister was chosen.
0:04:36 > 0:04:39I was... I mean, I was so unbelievably envious.
0:04:39 > 0:04:40Like, I was gutted for years.
0:04:40 > 0:04:43If I'd just gone out with him a bit longer, I could've been there!
0:04:43 > 0:04:46- It could've been me!- Sorry, did he dump you for his own sister?- No, no.
0:04:50 > 0:04:53Well, listen, let's test your knowledge of all things Bono.
0:04:53 > 0:04:56First question, where did he get his nickname from?
0:04:56 > 0:04:58Oh, I think I know this.
0:04:58 > 0:05:02Isn't the name Bono from a shop in... Are they from Dublin?
0:05:02 > 0:05:05- Yes.- You know they're from Dublin!
0:05:05 > 0:05:07He's going, "Oh, I don't know, are they from Dublin?"
0:05:07 > 0:05:10You've got a tattoo of them, mate.
0:05:10 > 0:05:12Yeah, Bono is the name of a shop, isn't it?
0:05:12 > 0:05:14It is. Do you know what the shop was called?
0:05:14 > 0:05:16- Bonavox.- Bonavox.
0:05:16 > 0:05:17It was, it's a hearing aid shop.
0:05:17 > 0:05:18- There it is.- Hang on.
0:05:18 > 0:05:23- He spelt his name wrong.- Yeah. - Bona would have been the correct...!
0:05:23 > 0:05:25Don't know why he didn't go with that!
0:05:25 > 0:05:29Bono never shies away from getting involved in political issues.
0:05:29 > 0:05:32In 2016, he appeared before a Senate subcommittee in Washington.
0:05:32 > 0:05:36Who did he suggest should be sent to deal with Islamic State?
0:05:36 > 0:05:39He'd just had a row with The Edge and suggested The Edge.
0:05:41 > 0:05:43Was it just the other two from U2?
0:05:43 > 0:05:47No, no. Performers but not musicians.
0:05:47 > 0:05:50- The Chuckle Brothers. - You're not far off.
0:05:50 > 0:05:52- It was comedians.- It was comedians.
0:05:52 > 0:05:55- It was, yeah.- What?!- Specifically, he suggested Amy Schumer,
0:05:55 > 0:05:58Chris Rock and Sacha Baron Cohen
0:05:58 > 0:06:02- should be sent to counter Islamic State.- What?!
0:06:02 > 0:06:05Would you do your duty if you were called, Josh, to the front line?
0:06:05 > 0:06:06Of course not.
0:06:08 > 0:06:10- Shame on you.- Yeah, exactly.
0:06:10 > 0:06:12I think you should stand up now and say to the British public
0:06:12 > 0:06:13you're going to talk to Isis.
0:06:13 > 0:06:15I think you should go tomorrow morning.
0:06:15 > 0:06:17Do you know what I think we need?
0:06:17 > 0:06:21Is the eight high-ranking members of Isis
0:06:21 > 0:06:23in a one-off Pointless special.
0:06:27 > 0:06:29If two of them drop-out at the last minute,
0:06:29 > 0:06:32we have to put The Cheeky Girls on podium four.
0:06:32 > 0:06:34But it's still a good show.
0:06:34 > 0:06:39Right. In 1992, who did Bono phone halfway through a gig?
0:06:39 > 0:06:42Oh, he used to phone the President.
0:06:42 > 0:06:43He did phone the President,
0:06:43 > 0:06:46- but that's not the answer we're looking for.- Was it Domino's?
0:06:46 > 0:06:49- It was!- NO!- It was!
0:06:49 > 0:06:50- What?!- What?! - APPLAUSE
0:06:51 > 0:06:56- That's not true.- Not Domino's, but it was a pizza company.
0:06:56 > 0:06:59- What?!- "Oh, God, I'm so shocked I knew the right answer!"
0:06:59 > 0:07:00You love them, mate!
0:07:00 > 0:07:03"I think it was pepperoni, I'm not sure, I think it was pepperoni."
0:07:03 > 0:07:07- He did.- I love U2?!
0:07:07 > 0:07:10He'd rung the local pizza company and ordered 10,000 pizzas
0:07:10 > 0:07:13- for the audience. - It seems impractical.
0:07:13 > 0:07:15Yes, well, he said, "As many as you can make."
0:07:15 > 0:07:18He said, "I'd like 10,000, but as many as you can make."
0:07:18 > 0:07:20So, like, four.
0:07:21 > 0:07:23Imagine getting to the stadium...
0:07:23 > 0:07:26"Who ordered no anchovy?"
0:07:28 > 0:07:32What went wrong on the first night of the Innocence + Experience tour
0:07:32 > 0:07:34- in Vancouver?- Oh, I was there.
0:07:37 > 0:07:38Was there a power cut?
0:07:38 > 0:07:39No, there was an accident.
0:07:39 > 0:07:42Oh, did Bono get too close to The Edge and fall off?
0:07:42 > 0:07:44I'll give you that,
0:07:44 > 0:07:47it was actually The Edge got too close to the edge and fell off.
0:07:47 > 0:07:48Let's have a look.
0:07:49 > 0:07:53# I still haven't found
0:07:53 > 0:07:56# What I'm looking for... #
0:07:58 > 0:08:02I cannot believe that Suzannah's ex-boyfriend's sister caught him.
0:08:04 > 0:08:09Suzannah, funniest incidents in history, accidents at big events?
0:08:09 > 0:08:12I don't know of this is funny, because a few people died, but...
0:08:12 > 0:08:15- LAUGHTER - Hilarious!
0:08:16 > 0:08:17Was it a long time ago?
0:08:17 > 0:08:19- 200 years.- Fine.
0:08:19 > 0:08:22- Don't give a shit about them. - They would be dead anyway, right?
0:08:22 > 0:08:24So...
0:08:25 > 0:08:28- Is that the rule?- Yeah, if time would've got them by now, it's fine.
0:08:31 > 0:08:331814. October, 1814,
0:08:33 > 0:08:36where the Dominican Theatre is now in Tottenham Court Road
0:08:36 > 0:08:37was a brewery called Horse Shoe Brewery,
0:08:37 > 0:08:41and a couple of big vats of beer cracked
0:08:41 > 0:08:44and it released something like 500,000 gallons
0:08:44 > 0:08:47of beer, like, over 1 million pints.
0:08:47 > 0:08:49And it was this tidal wave of beer,
0:08:49 > 0:08:51it took down the wall of the brewery
0:08:51 > 0:08:54and it was spread into the slums of St Giles
0:08:54 > 0:08:56and eight people drowned in beer.
0:08:56 > 0:09:00- In beer?!- Yeah.- Can I just say - too soon.
0:09:02 > 0:09:03What a way to go, though.
0:09:03 > 0:09:06And that was how the modern-day festival began.
0:09:08 > 0:09:10They thought, "This is brilliant!"
0:09:14 > 0:09:19In 2003, Bono spent 1,000 quid on what?
0:09:19 > 0:09:22- Oh... Oh, no, I know... - LAUGHTER
0:09:25 > 0:09:27Is this on your second favourite Wikipedia page?
0:09:27 > 0:09:31Here we go. Can I just say, was The Joshua Tree named after you?
0:09:36 > 0:09:39He flew his hat, didn't he, for a photo shoot or something like that?
0:09:39 > 0:09:42You do know an awful lot about him. He did.
0:09:42 > 0:09:44The story goes that while preparing to perform
0:09:44 > 0:09:46with Luciano Pavarotti in Modena,
0:09:46 > 0:09:49Bono discovered that he'd left behind his black trilby.
0:09:49 > 0:09:52Apparently a panic-stricken Bono paid a grand
0:09:52 > 0:09:55to have it flown out from London to Italy.
0:09:55 > 0:09:56Here's a photo from the show.
0:09:56 > 0:09:58He's not even wearing it!
0:09:59 > 0:10:01Pavarotti, of course, his shirt there,
0:10:01 > 0:10:02flown to the show by cargo plane.
0:10:07 > 0:10:11Right, it's time to get competitive as we play for...the Paul.
0:10:11 > 0:10:16How did Bono surprise Bob Dylan during a concert in Ireland?
0:10:16 > 0:10:19Did he pull Bob Dylan's trousers and pants down?
0:10:21 > 0:10:23Was it to do with the song choice?
0:10:23 > 0:10:24Well, yes.
0:10:24 > 0:10:27I'll give you the first bit. He was invited on stage
0:10:27 > 0:10:29to sing Blowin In The Wind, and then what happened?
0:10:29 > 0:10:32- Oh, he farted. - LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:10:35 > 0:10:38- Did he forget all the words? - He didn't know the words, yes.
0:10:38 > 0:10:42He didn't know the words and just started making them up...
0:10:42 > 0:10:45- Oh, no, I've lost.- Which is ironic, because Bob Dylan's been doing that
0:10:45 > 0:10:46for around about 30 years.
0:10:46 > 0:10:50Well done, Richard, you win, and your team win the Bono.
0:10:50 > 0:10:53- APPLAUSE - Well done.
0:10:55 > 0:10:57Richard, it's your turn to pick a Paul.
0:10:57 > 0:10:59What do you fancy out of the three left?
0:10:59 > 0:11:01We've Arty, Holy or Runny Paul.
0:11:01 > 0:11:03We'll go for a Holy Paul.
0:11:03 > 0:11:08You have chosen Christian saint and missionary Saint Paul of Tarsus.
0:11:08 > 0:11:09Let's look at the stats.
0:11:21 > 0:11:24Famously, he's the co-writer of the Bible.
0:11:24 > 0:11:26He's credited with authoring 13 books of the New Testament,
0:11:26 > 0:11:28mainly letters.
0:11:28 > 0:11:31Richard, have you got a favourite of his letters?
0:11:31 > 0:11:33Yeah, I would say F.
0:11:35 > 0:11:37Katy, do you have a favourite of Saint Paul's letters?
0:11:37 > 0:11:39Well, people like the Corinthians' one, don't they?
0:11:39 > 0:11:42- The one they always read at weddings.- Now you're talking.
0:11:42 > 0:11:45The bit from Corinthians, one of the Corinthians' letters,
0:11:45 > 0:11:48cos there are two, "If I be a clang...
0:11:48 > 0:11:50- "But have not love..." - If I be a clanger?!- Yes.
0:11:51 > 0:11:53It's not in the original Aramaic, it's...
0:11:53 > 0:11:55PRETENDS TO WHISTLE
0:11:57 > 0:11:59So it's hard to translate, there's no direct translation.
0:11:59 > 0:12:00Corinthians 1:13.
0:12:00 > 0:12:02Yes, that's it, Corinthians 1:13.
0:12:02 > 0:12:06I've got a Corinthians 13+1, you can read it on Catch Up.
0:12:08 > 0:12:10His first appearance,
0:12:10 > 0:12:13Paul's, comes in the Bible during the stoning of Saint Stephen.
0:12:13 > 0:12:15What was Paul doing?
0:12:15 > 0:12:16Was he the stone polisher?
0:12:18 > 0:12:22Wasn't he the coat hanger? I mean, like, he held the coats?
0:12:22 > 0:12:24- He did the coats!- He did the coats?
0:12:24 > 0:12:26He did the coats at the stonings.
0:12:26 > 0:12:28- He was like the cloakroom.- What, and then they'd kill someone
0:12:28 > 0:12:29and they'd come back and he'd go,
0:12:29 > 0:12:31"If you haven't got your ticket, mate..."
0:12:31 > 0:12:33Saint Stephen was the first Christian martyr
0:12:33 > 0:12:35who was stoned to death for blasphemy,
0:12:35 > 0:12:37according to the book of Acts. "The witnesses laid..."
0:12:40 > 0:12:43Now, I imagine the stoning didn't look like this.
0:12:43 > 0:12:46First rule of a stoning, I think - don't stand in a circle.
0:12:50 > 0:12:54Yeah, and don't let the guy getting stoned wear a helmet as well.
0:12:55 > 0:12:58Having becoming a Christian in Damascus,
0:12:58 > 0:13:01how did Paul escape being killed by locals?
0:13:01 > 0:13:03He had a poster and then they didn't know, at night,
0:13:03 > 0:13:06he was slowly digging through the wall.
0:13:06 > 0:13:08The Saul Shank Redemption!
0:13:08 > 0:13:10I think it was through a wall,
0:13:10 > 0:13:11but he was let down,
0:13:11 > 0:13:15out through a basket or something outside the city walls?
0:13:15 > 0:13:18Absolutely right, he was lowered from the city walls via a basket.
0:13:18 > 0:13:19You can see a picture there.
0:13:19 > 0:13:23Yep, that gold halo a bit of a giveaway, frankly.
0:13:23 > 0:13:27Can I just say, in terms of size of city walls...
0:13:27 > 0:13:31He was lowered a terrifying three foot.
0:13:31 > 0:13:33He really could have just stepped over.
0:13:33 > 0:13:37This all took place at Bekonscot Model Village.
0:13:37 > 0:13:42Does anybody know what Paul did before the religious work kicked in?
0:13:42 > 0:13:45Did he do the Oak Furniture Land adverts?
0:13:49 > 0:13:51No veneer on here.
0:13:55 > 0:13:57- Did he make tents? - He made tents.
0:13:57 > 0:13:59He did, he was a tent maker.
0:13:59 > 0:14:00Have you had any unusual jobs?
0:14:00 > 0:14:01I've had some really weird jobs.
0:14:01 > 0:14:06My first job out of university was cleaning and clearing the shed of
0:14:06 > 0:14:08Claudia Schiffer and Matthew Vaughn.
0:14:08 > 0:14:10- What?- Did they know that you were doing this?
0:14:12 > 0:14:14I didn't break in, I was there legally.
0:14:14 > 0:14:17- I was meant to be doing it. - All right, Paul Burrell.
0:14:19 > 0:14:21Oh, I'd like to change my favourite Paul.
0:14:21 > 0:14:24LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:14:27 > 0:14:28My first job out of school,
0:14:28 > 0:14:31I had to re-upholster Cindy Crawford's summerhouse.
0:14:33 > 0:14:37Now you mention it, I had to clear out Kate Moss's coal scuttle.
0:14:39 > 0:14:42Let's get down to business as we play for the Paul.
0:14:42 > 0:14:45Now, the Chapel of Russia's Resurrection
0:14:45 > 0:14:48is a female religious sect who live on a diet
0:14:48 > 0:14:51of turnips, carrots, peas and buckwheat.
0:14:51 > 0:14:54Who do they believe is the reincarnation of Saint Paul?
0:14:54 > 0:14:56- Vladimir Putin. - That's the right answer!
0:14:56 > 0:14:59- APPLAUSE - See.
0:15:02 > 0:15:05They think Vladimir Putin is the resurrected Paul?
0:15:05 > 0:15:07- Yeah.- I do, too.- Do you?
0:15:07 > 0:15:10Well, I'm a huge fan of Putin, just in case.
0:15:12 > 0:15:15Well done, Richard's team, you win the Paul. Congratulations.
0:15:20 > 0:15:23Right, Josh, your turn. You've got Arty or Runny left.
0:15:24 > 0:15:27- RICHARD:- Got to be Runny. - JOSH:- It's got to be runny, hasn't it?
0:15:27 > 0:15:28You've gone for Runny Paul.
0:15:28 > 0:15:32And you've chosen record-breaking runner Paula Radcliffe.
0:15:32 > 0:15:33Time to bring up her stats.
0:15:44 > 0:15:47Before we examine the long list of Paula's astonishing sporting
0:15:47 > 0:15:52achievements, let's just get one story very quickly out of the way.
0:15:52 > 0:15:57How did Paula make headlines during the 2005 London Marathon?
0:15:57 > 0:16:00- She shat herself.- Yes, is the correct answer.
0:16:00 > 0:16:04But in Paula's defence, I have read that by the end of a marathon,
0:16:04 > 0:16:08it's quite common for your body to react and want to evacuate things,
0:16:08 > 0:16:11so often there is a little bit of mess.
0:16:11 > 0:16:13- Yes.- From the waist down.
0:16:13 > 0:16:15Ed, you ran the London Marathon this year, didn't you?
0:16:15 > 0:16:17I did. Tell you what, when I ran the London Marathon,
0:16:17 > 0:16:20there was not mess from the waist down,
0:16:20 > 0:16:22but the first time I ever went for a run,
0:16:22 > 0:16:24which was about four years ago,
0:16:24 > 0:16:27I did a big old Paula Radcliffe.
0:16:29 > 0:16:32And it was the first time I'd ever been for a run, so I was thinking,
0:16:32 > 0:16:34"Is this going to happen every time?"
0:16:34 > 0:16:36So, what did you do?
0:16:36 > 0:16:39I mean, this is probably the most shameful moment of my entire life.
0:16:39 > 0:16:40I panicked, obviously.
0:16:40 > 0:16:42I was next to the Thames.
0:16:42 > 0:16:44My first thought was, "I'll get in and wade around until I'm clean."
0:16:46 > 0:16:48- Mate!- I didn't, I didn't.
0:16:48 > 0:16:49I did the next best thing,
0:16:49 > 0:16:52which was go to a public toilet and leave the pants in the cistern.
0:16:52 > 0:16:53AUDIENCE GROANS
0:16:53 > 0:16:58It gets worse because as I was leaving, the cleaner was going in
0:16:58 > 0:17:01and I looked him in the eye and now all I can think of is,
0:17:01 > 0:17:03"I've just ruined a man's life."
0:17:03 > 0:17:04He'd never clean inside the cistern.
0:17:04 > 0:17:06I think there's a good chance it's still there.
0:17:06 > 0:17:08You would if it smelt bad.
0:17:08 > 0:17:10I reckon when Ed does 'Who Do You Think You Are?'
0:17:10 > 0:17:13it will climax with him going back to be reunited with those pants.
0:17:13 > 0:17:15Can I just say,
0:17:15 > 0:17:18if the climax of his genealogical line
0:17:18 > 0:17:22is him in a public toilet fishing out his own shit-smeared underpants,
0:17:22 > 0:17:24that show's taken on a brand-new format.
0:17:24 > 0:17:27Are you telling me you wouldn't watch that?
0:17:27 > 0:17:30I would watch it! Also slightly worried they might go back
0:17:30 > 0:17:34to my dirty bra I left in East Dulwich Station.
0:17:34 > 0:17:38But you're absolutely right, she did do a mid-run bowel explosion.
0:17:38 > 0:17:41Paula explained, "I had bad stomach cramps..."
0:17:51 > 0:17:54If you're pooing out of your bladder...
0:17:54 > 0:17:56How did Paula get the last laugh?
0:17:56 > 0:17:59Did the person in second slip over?
0:18:02 > 0:18:04Just as they were gaining.
0:18:04 > 0:18:07That is the first time the marathon has ever been like Mario Kart.
0:18:10 > 0:18:13No, it was sort of poo-related.
0:18:13 > 0:18:15Did she get a sort of nappy advert or something?
0:18:15 > 0:18:19She did! She absolutely did. She got an endorsement from Pampers.
0:18:19 > 0:18:21There you go. It could have been worse,
0:18:21 > 0:18:24the first offer she had was for Bisto gravy granules.
0:18:26 > 0:18:28Paula's poo stop isn't the most embarrassing thing
0:18:28 > 0:18:29to happen in a road race.
0:18:29 > 0:18:35Now, that record goes to Slovakian runner Jozef Urban.
0:18:35 > 0:18:36Enjoy this.
0:18:36 > 0:18:40COMMENTARY IN OWN LANGUAGE
0:18:53 > 0:18:55- Oh, dear!- Do you know what, though?
0:18:55 > 0:18:57That did knock a second off his time.
0:18:58 > 0:19:03As he approached the finishing line, Jozef gave one spectator a high five
0:19:03 > 0:19:05and a passing dog a slap around the face.
0:19:09 > 0:19:12When she was running, Paula wore a titanium necklace.
0:19:12 > 0:19:14How was it supposed to improve her performance?
0:19:14 > 0:19:18Did it make her aim better with the water?
0:19:18 > 0:19:21I think she's just hosing down her back legs.
0:19:24 > 0:19:28Is it magnetic and she had another big magnet at the finishing post?
0:19:28 > 0:19:31LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:19:31 > 0:19:34- It pulled her.- It has properties.
0:19:34 > 0:19:37- It has properties.- Is it to do with electrical currents in the body or
0:19:37 > 0:19:39- something?- It's biorhythms, so I'll give you that.
0:19:39 > 0:19:43It stimulated blood flow and helped regulate biorhythms,
0:19:43 > 0:19:45and controlled her made-up-atrons as well.
0:19:48 > 0:19:50Time now to play for the Paula.
0:19:50 > 0:19:54Over the years, Paula has suffered a bizarre variety of injuries and
0:19:54 > 0:19:59accidents. But in 2000, what caused Paula to sustain a bad knee?
0:19:59 > 0:20:02Was she doing that thing where you put the shoes on the knees
0:20:02 > 0:20:04and try and get into a cinema for less money?
0:20:06 > 0:20:09Which you don't have to do, do you?
0:20:09 > 0:20:13If you did that, they'd go, "You do know this is a PG-13?"
0:20:13 > 0:20:16She was kneeling on the floor doing something repetitive.
0:20:16 > 0:20:18What would it have been? LAUGHTER
0:20:21 > 0:20:23- She was kneeling on the floor... - Doing something repetitive.
0:20:23 > 0:20:27- JOSH:- ..after her wedding. - RICHARD:- Don't make it sound boring!
0:20:28 > 0:20:30"It's a treat for both of us."
0:20:32 > 0:20:34No, she wasn't, she was writing something.
0:20:34 > 0:20:36- What was she writing? - Writing a thank you thing.
0:20:36 > 0:20:39Yes, she was, she was kneeling on the floor writing thank you letters
0:20:39 > 0:20:42for her wedding presents. And that injury, she was out for 13 weeks
0:20:42 > 0:20:43and required minor surgery.
0:20:43 > 0:20:47Listen, well done, Richard's team, you get the Paula.
0:20:52 > 0:20:55Time now to fire up the Paul-flavoured fruit machine.
0:20:55 > 0:20:57Each spin, up will pop three faces.
0:20:57 > 0:20:59Our teams must match the extraordinary fact
0:20:59 > 0:21:01to the extraordinary Paul,
0:21:01 > 0:21:03and also a chance to unearth more candidates
0:21:03 > 0:21:05for the greatest Paul of all time.
0:21:05 > 0:21:06So, we have...
0:21:06 > 0:21:09Hollywood legend Paul Newman,
0:21:09 > 0:21:11tabloid legend Paul Ross,
0:21:11 > 0:21:13and teeny magician Paul Daniels.
0:21:13 > 0:21:19The question is, which Paul admitted he'd slept with over 300 women?
0:21:19 > 0:21:23I like the use of the word admitted, rather than boasted.
0:21:24 > 0:21:26"You know what? You got me.
0:21:26 > 0:21:27"You got me, I did."
0:21:27 > 0:21:28Talk about humble brag.
0:21:28 > 0:21:30"Guilty, your honour."
0:21:31 > 0:21:35I love Paul Daniels, I think he's absolutely...
0:21:35 > 0:21:37I just think he's great.
0:21:37 > 0:21:39Josh, I've got some very bad news for you.
0:21:42 > 0:21:45Is Paul Newman the person who said something like,
0:21:45 > 0:21:49"You don't go out for a burger if you've got steak at home?"
0:21:49 > 0:21:52Yes, but he was literally talking about food.
0:21:55 > 0:21:58Paul Ross is a more exciting answer than Paul Newman.
0:21:58 > 0:22:01Unfortunately I think Paul Ross may be signalling
0:22:01 > 0:22:03how many women he's slept with in that picture.
0:22:05 > 0:22:07So, you're going to say Ross, are you?
0:22:07 > 0:22:10- Yeah.- Paul Daniels, how old was he when he met Debbie McGee?
0:22:10 > 0:22:14Could he already have had a period of sowing his oats, so to speak?
0:22:14 > 0:22:16Yeah, I suspect so, yeah.
0:22:16 > 0:22:18I think maybe they met... And also he worked on that kind of variety
0:22:18 > 0:22:22- circuit, didn't he?- But also, crucially, he knew magic.
0:22:22 > 0:22:25If he chopped the woman in half, he'd count that as two.
0:22:27 > 0:22:30Paul Ross, who is a very charming gentleman,
0:22:30 > 0:22:32I suspect if he had slept with 300 women,
0:22:32 > 0:22:34he would not be the type to talk about it.
0:22:34 > 0:22:37- I agree.- Paul Daniels, I suspect, might have done. Say, like,
0:22:37 > 0:22:40"In the early days before the lovely Debbie McGee,
0:22:40 > 0:22:41"you know, I played the field."
0:22:41 > 0:22:43- Paul Daniels?- OK.
0:22:43 > 0:22:46- Paul Daniels.- Well, let's see what the right answer is.
0:22:46 > 0:22:47Paul Daniels.
0:22:47 > 0:22:49- Well done.- Well done, us. - There you go.
0:22:49 > 0:22:51Writing in his autobiography, Under No Illusion,
0:22:51 > 0:22:53he tells of the time he got bored on a train journey.
0:22:59 > 0:23:01Meanwhile, Paul Newman, as you said,
0:23:01 > 0:23:03famously rejected offers of extramarital sex by saying,
0:23:03 > 0:23:08"I have steak at home, so why should I go out for a hamburger?"
0:23:08 > 0:23:11It was later revealed he'd had an 18-month affair with a woman called
0:23:11 > 0:23:13Nancy Bacon.
0:23:14 > 0:23:17He had steak at home, but who could resist a bacon roll?
0:23:19 > 0:23:20- Is that true?- It is true.
0:23:20 > 0:23:22- Amazing.- It absolutely is true.
0:23:22 > 0:23:24Well done, Richard's team, you win the Paul.
0:23:24 > 0:23:26APPLAUSE
0:23:29 > 0:23:31Let's bring up three more Pauls.
0:23:31 > 0:23:34You have got modfather Paul Weller,
0:23:34 > 0:23:36- royal butler Paul Burrell...- Wahey!
0:23:36 > 0:23:40..and drug dealer Pablo Escobar.
0:23:40 > 0:23:42Who admitted their guiltiest pleasure was curling up
0:23:42 > 0:23:44with a plate of After Eights to watch a romcom?
0:23:44 > 0:23:46Richard, you get to go first.
0:23:46 > 0:23:50Well, I mean, Pablo Escobar famously has guiltier pleasures than...
0:23:51 > 0:23:53Also, is that actually Paul Burrell,
0:23:53 > 0:23:55or is it Hugh Bonneville 20 years ago?
0:23:57 > 0:23:58During his prime, though,
0:23:58 > 0:24:00Paul Weller didn't have the look of a man who gorged on After Eights.
0:24:00 > 0:24:03No, even now, isn't he, he's very svelte.
0:24:03 > 0:24:05- Whereas Pablo...- Yeah,
0:24:05 > 0:24:09he certainly looks like the most After Eight-y of those.
0:24:09 > 0:24:12- Shall we go Pablo Escobar?- Escobar because he's the fattest.
0:24:12 > 0:24:13Pablo Escobar? Pablo Escobar.
0:24:13 > 0:24:15"Escobar because he's the fattest!"
0:24:15 > 0:24:18I bet you wouldn't have said that 20 years ago.
0:24:20 > 0:24:22Yeah, kept quiet then, didn't you?
0:24:22 > 0:24:24Just after I left university,
0:24:24 > 0:24:27me and Paul Burrell were paid £100 to clear out Diana's shed.
0:24:31 > 0:24:33I think that sounds like something Paul Weller would say
0:24:33 > 0:24:35as a guilty pleasure,
0:24:35 > 0:24:37because he's, like, from the world of rock and roll,
0:24:37 > 0:24:39where it's probably a semi-ironic thing, where he's like,
0:24:39 > 0:24:42"Oh, my guilty pleasure, I'm just like a normal person sometimes."
0:24:42 > 0:24:45Obviously Paul Burrell's the obvious choice, right?
0:24:45 > 0:24:47I thought the obvious choice was Paul Weller.
0:24:47 > 0:24:49I would say Weller is the obvious choice.
0:24:49 > 0:24:51Oh, well, now I'm in a serious pickle, aren't I?!
0:24:51 > 0:24:54I say, go with Burrell because if it's right, then you look like
0:24:54 > 0:24:57a gracious team captain because it was Suzannah's suggestion,
0:24:57 > 0:25:00and if it's wrong, we can really rub her face in it.
0:25:04 > 0:25:05We're going to go with Paul Burrell.
0:25:05 > 0:25:08You're going to go with Paul Burrell. Very gentlemanly of you.
0:25:08 > 0:25:10Let's see who it was.
0:25:10 > 0:25:13- Paul Weller!- Oh, Suzannah!
0:25:13 > 0:25:17- Goddamit, Suzannah!- For God's sake!
0:25:18 > 0:25:20- How did that happen?!- Well, how about you just do
0:25:20 > 0:25:23what you're here for and give us a bit of history?
0:25:24 > 0:25:26For once I had the right answer!
0:25:26 > 0:25:28You blew it, Joshy!
0:25:28 > 0:25:30This was in 2014, an interview in the Guardian, when he said...
0:25:36 > 0:25:39I think that's too much information, Paul.
0:25:39 > 0:25:41Right, everybody, let's play Finish The Fact.
0:25:41 > 0:25:43I'll start by reading out a Paul-based gem
0:25:43 > 0:25:46and you buzz in when you think you know how it ends.
0:25:46 > 0:25:50So, we have Wings frontman Paul McCartney, there he is.
0:25:54 > 0:25:55BELL
0:25:55 > 0:25:58Like, how weird, like, hands are, yeah?
0:26:00 > 0:26:01BELL
0:26:01 > 0:26:04Did he figure out the exact combination of switches
0:26:04 > 0:26:05that turns all the lights off?
0:26:09 > 0:26:11It was along metaphysical lines.
0:26:11 > 0:26:13- BUZZER - The WiFi code.
0:26:16 > 0:26:19He figured out the meaning of life and wrote it down...
0:26:23 > 0:26:26- BELL - "Don't marry Heather."
0:26:28 > 0:26:30- BUZZER - "This is the meaning of life,
0:26:30 > 0:26:33"make sure you write it down on a piece of paper."
0:26:35 > 0:26:36BELL
0:26:36 > 0:26:37"Apologies to the maid,
0:26:37 > 0:26:40"this is Dairy Milk on the sheets, I promise."
0:26:44 > 0:26:47The answer was, "There are seven levels."
0:26:47 > 0:26:48That's the meaning of Zelda.
0:26:52 > 0:26:55This happened basically while The Beatles smoked a lot of cannabis
0:26:55 > 0:26:57in Bob Dylan's hotel room. McCartney said...
0:27:02 > 0:27:04Ringo, it turns out, had also written a message
0:27:04 > 0:27:07on a piece of paper. It said, "I like drums."
0:27:07 > 0:27:10All right, well, no-one is going to win the Paul there,
0:27:10 > 0:27:12but we're going to move to the next one,
0:27:12 > 0:27:15which is Geordie football legend Paul Gascoigne.
0:27:19 > 0:27:21- BELL - Is it a crime scene with a fishing rod?
0:27:24 > 0:27:27- BUZZER - Is it Brent Cross Ikea?
0:27:27 > 0:27:29It's sort of about that distance.
0:27:31 > 0:27:32BELL
0:27:32 > 0:27:34Knowing him, it's he went to bed early
0:27:34 > 0:27:35so he was fresh for the next game.
0:27:37 > 0:27:40- BUZZER - Pub?- Yes. He went to the pub with...
0:27:44 > 0:27:47- BELL- Even though he was still in full kit, including boots.
0:27:47 > 0:27:49Is the right answer.
0:27:49 > 0:27:50APPLAUSE
0:27:50 > 0:27:52The right answer.
0:27:53 > 0:27:55- That's a great story. - That was a genuine guess.
0:27:55 > 0:27:59He was in the pub before the crowd had stopped booing the team off,
0:27:59 > 0:28:02that was how quickly he got himself in there. Listen, well done.
0:28:02 > 0:28:04You win the Paul, Josh, well done.
0:28:08 > 0:28:11So, we've come to the end of the show, and I can tell you that
0:28:11 > 0:28:13tonight's winners, with the most Pauls...
0:28:13 > 0:28:15- ..Richard's team! Well done.- Yes!
0:28:15 > 0:28:18CHEERING DROWNS SPEECH
0:28:20 > 0:28:23So, Richard, who are you going to pick as the best Paul of all time?
0:28:23 > 0:28:25I think, listen, in this country, we're not, like,
0:28:25 > 0:28:27the best in the world at many things
0:28:27 > 0:28:29and this is someone who is the best in the world at something
0:28:29 > 0:28:32that everybody has had a go at over the years.
0:28:32 > 0:28:33It has to be Paula Radcliffe.
0:28:33 > 0:28:36That is an excellent, excellent choice, Richard.
0:28:36 > 0:28:40Let's pop Paula Radcliffe onto the Insert Name Here Hall of Fame.
0:28:40 > 0:28:43APPLAUSE
0:28:43 > 0:28:44My thanks to all of our guests,
0:28:44 > 0:28:47special thanks to all the Paulas and Pauls here, there and everywhere,
0:28:47 > 0:28:51but, most of all, thanks to you at home for watching us, and goodnight.