0:00:02 > 0:00:08This programme contains some strong language.
0:00:24 > 0:00:27Hello there, and welcome to this special Christmas edition of
0:00:27 > 0:00:31Insert Name Here. Joining me tonight, six very special guests.
0:00:31 > 0:00:34Please welcome Jack Dee, Suzannah Lipscomb and their team captain,
0:00:34 > 0:00:37Josh Widdicombe, and, on the other side, Martin Kemp, Liz Bonnin,
0:00:37 > 0:00:39and their captain, Richard Osman.
0:00:43 > 0:00:45Merry Christmas.
0:00:45 > 0:00:50Now, Martin, are you happy with your name?
0:00:50 > 0:00:51Well, I am now.
0:00:51 > 0:00:55Because all the rest of the kids in my school used to gang together,
0:00:55 > 0:00:59walk around calling me "Farting Martin".
0:01:00 > 0:01:03I mean - I didn't like to mention anything, but...
0:01:06 > 0:01:10I love the idea that when Spandau Ballet were at their prime,
0:01:10 > 0:01:13you were thinking, "This shows them for calling me Farting Martin."
0:01:13 > 0:01:16As it's Christmas, we are going to do something a little bit different,
0:01:16 > 0:01:19tonight. And the emphasis really is on the "little".
0:01:19 > 0:01:22Let's just relieve ourselves of that.
0:01:22 > 0:01:25Instead of celebrating people who all share one name,
0:01:25 > 0:01:28we're celebrating people who make our favourite time of year that
0:01:28 > 0:01:30little bit more special. Tonight,
0:01:30 > 0:01:32we're going to be talking about the stars of Christmas.
0:01:36 > 0:01:39So, let's get on with the show. It's time to pick a Christmas star.
0:01:39 > 0:01:42Panellists are going to choose a category and behind each category
0:01:42 > 0:01:44lurks one of the big players from Christmas,
0:01:44 > 0:01:46who our team must then attempt to win.
0:01:46 > 0:01:48So, what have we got? We've got...
0:01:53 > 0:01:55Josh, you're up first, so choose a category if you will.
0:01:55 > 0:01:57Can we have the Christmas Presenter?
0:01:57 > 0:02:03You've chosen king of Christmas telly, the first Noel, Noel Edmonds.
0:02:03 > 0:02:04Let's unwrap the stats.
0:02:17 > 0:02:20Noel Edmonds is the undisputed king of Christmas Day television.
0:02:20 > 0:02:22Over the past 25 years,
0:02:22 > 0:02:24he has made more appearances on Christmas Day
0:02:24 > 0:02:26than any other presenter, apart from the Queen, obviously.
0:02:26 > 0:02:29Now, Martin, you must have worked with the legend of "Noelle".
0:02:29 > 0:02:31Noel, yeah, I worked with him loads of times.
0:02:31 > 0:02:32Especially on Swap Shop,
0:02:32 > 0:02:36and all of those TV shows in the early '80s, but,
0:02:36 > 0:02:39there's one memory that I have of Noel,
0:02:39 > 0:02:41that frightens the life out of me.
0:02:41 > 0:02:46And it was the 13th of July, 1985, right?
0:02:46 > 0:02:50Live Aid. And the only way you could get into Wembley Stadium
0:02:50 > 0:02:53that day, because the roads were so busy, was to get on a helicopter.
0:02:53 > 0:02:56And so, as I get to the heliport, in Battersea,
0:02:56 > 0:02:58I see Noel Edmonds standing there.
0:02:58 > 0:03:00And I think, "Oh, he must be going to the same place."
0:03:00 > 0:03:04So, I get on the helicopter, look around as we take off.
0:03:04 > 0:03:06Noel is flying the helicopter.
0:03:06 > 0:03:08Oh! Chilling.
0:03:08 > 0:03:10So, was he involved in Live Aid at all?
0:03:10 > 0:03:12- Or was he just...?- No, he...
0:03:12 > 0:03:15..ran a helicopter company, at that point,
0:03:15 > 0:03:19and he was flying all of the acts in and out of Wembley.
0:03:19 > 0:03:22Mr Blobby waving you in?
0:03:22 > 0:03:24- Yeah.- Erm, Noel's first Christmas show,
0:03:24 > 0:03:27The Noel Edmonds Live, Live, Christmas Breakfast Show
0:03:27 > 0:03:32was broadcast live from the BT Tower on the 25th of December, 1984.
0:03:32 > 0:03:35The show featured a rather unusual outside broadcast.
0:03:35 > 0:03:39- Where was it?- Was it one of those very disappointing
0:03:39 > 0:03:41Winter Wonderlands that they...?
0:03:42 > 0:03:45- Top of Everest?- Higher.
0:03:45 > 0:03:47- Aeroplane.- From an aeroplane.
0:03:47 > 0:03:50Yes, absolutely, the first live link in an aeroplane,
0:03:50 > 0:03:53and it was full of children. As the plane circled London,
0:03:53 > 0:03:56the children were entertained by Radio 1 DJ, Gary Davies,
0:03:56 > 0:03:59singer Feargal Sharkey and comedy duo, The Crankies.
0:03:59 > 0:04:01If you look out of the right-hand window,
0:04:01 > 0:04:04it'll be more entertaining than watching the show.
0:04:04 > 0:04:06What happened during Feargal Sharkey's performance?
0:04:06 > 0:04:09It wasn't one of those classic ones where he couldn't hear the music
0:04:09 > 0:04:11he was meant to be miming to?
0:04:11 > 0:04:13It's exactly, exactly that.
0:04:13 > 0:04:14Let's take a look.
0:04:23 > 0:04:25# You little thief
0:04:26 > 0:04:29# You let me love you
0:04:30 > 0:04:34# You saw me stumbling
0:04:34 > 0:04:38# You watched me fall
0:04:38 > 0:04:41# You left me broken... #
0:04:45 > 0:04:48But hats off to Feargal for handling that like a pro.
0:04:50 > 0:04:53Yeah. Yeah.
0:04:53 > 0:04:56I love the way it says, "World's first in-air pop performance."
0:04:56 > 0:04:59As if that is what we've been waiting for.
0:04:59 > 0:05:02Noel's live TV career started on the BBC Saturday morning show
0:05:02 > 0:05:04Multi-Coloured Swap Shop.
0:05:04 > 0:05:07He went on to present a string of TV shows including Telly Addicts,
0:05:07 > 0:05:10The Late Late Breakfast Show and, in the '90s, Noel's House Party.
0:05:10 > 0:05:14In '93, how did Noel spoil Christmas for Take That?
0:05:14 > 0:05:17Well, the same way he spoiled every Christmas.
0:05:17 > 0:05:18By being on telly, surely.
0:05:20 > 0:05:21He got the number one...
0:05:21 > 0:05:23I remember vividly.
0:05:23 > 0:05:24It was a fight to number one.
0:05:24 > 0:05:29It was Take That's Babe versus Mr Blobby's Mr Blobby.
0:05:29 > 0:05:32And Mr Blobby was the number one single for Christmas.
0:05:32 > 0:05:33That's absolutely right, yes.
0:05:33 > 0:05:36Yeah, he knocked him straight off the top.
0:05:36 > 0:05:38Does anybody know who plays Mr Blobby?
0:05:38 > 0:05:42- Yes.- Yeah.- He's a Shakespearean actor and he's called Barry something.
0:05:42 > 0:05:45You're absolutely right, Barry. Barry Killerby was his name.
0:05:45 > 0:05:47Um, Blobby records weren't Noel's only chance to cash in.
0:05:47 > 0:05:50That and the helicopter work. How had he milked the success
0:05:50 > 0:05:52of Noel's House Party further?
0:05:52 > 0:05:55- Oh, Blobby World.- Crinkley Bottom theme parks.
0:05:55 > 0:05:58Three in total, in Morecambe, Lowestoft and Somerset.
0:05:58 > 0:06:01The attractions included the Narnia tunnel, gunge mines,
0:06:01 > 0:06:03the Listernewt pub
0:06:03 > 0:06:06and Throttled Cock farm.
0:06:08 > 0:06:10Um, here's Mr Blobby's house,
0:06:10 > 0:06:12Dunblobbin, as it was.
0:06:12 > 0:06:13Dunblobbin!
0:06:13 > 0:06:16Dunblobbin. Let's have a look at it a few years later.
0:06:16 > 0:06:17ALL: Oh!
0:06:17 > 0:06:19- Oh, wow.- It's like Chernobyl there.
0:06:19 > 0:06:21It's really, it's really haunting.
0:06:21 > 0:06:23Cher-blobbyl?
0:06:30 > 0:06:33Listen, it's time to play for the Christmas Presenter.
0:06:33 > 0:06:35Noel is a devoted motoring enthusiast
0:06:35 > 0:06:38when he wasn't flying a helicopter with Martin in it.
0:06:38 > 0:06:41He's got a vastly expensive Ford GT40.
0:06:41 > 0:06:46There it is. What did Noel admit to doing in that car at 4:30am?
0:06:46 > 0:06:47- Oh, no.- Don't go there.
0:06:47 > 0:06:49Don't go there.
0:06:49 > 0:06:50It wasn't, was it?
0:06:50 > 0:06:53- Was it?- It wasn't, he didn't have sex in it.
0:06:53 > 0:06:55- Was he on his own?- He was on his own.
0:06:55 > 0:06:57He was...
0:06:57 > 0:06:59- Nude.- Naked?
0:06:59 > 0:07:01He was totally nude.
0:07:01 > 0:07:05He said, and I quote, he decided to take it out for a breather.
0:07:05 > 0:07:07This is the car, one assumes.
0:07:08 > 0:07:11- Take it out for a breather?- I don't get involved, I just read the quotes.
0:07:11 > 0:07:14- Oh, my goodness.- The poor thing was stuck in its stable and needed
0:07:14 > 0:07:17- exercise.- Oh!
0:07:17 > 0:07:21I mean, one of the many reasons I would never do that is if I crashed,
0:07:21 > 0:07:23how would you explain that to the ambulance brigade?
0:07:23 > 0:07:26"Sorry, I've got no clothes on,
0:07:26 > 0:07:29"but that's just to help you guys see where I'm hurt."
0:07:31 > 0:07:35Do you know what? I would love to be there when he gets home and he tries
0:07:35 > 0:07:39to get up off of that seat, that leather seat, and he's all stuck to it.
0:07:40 > 0:07:42SQUELCHING
0:07:42 > 0:07:45Oh! That's where he got the idea for crinkly bottom.
0:07:49 > 0:07:51- Oh, God.- Congratulations, Josh's team.
0:07:51 > 0:07:53You win the Christmas Presenter.
0:07:57 > 0:07:59So, Richard, your turn.
0:07:59 > 0:08:01Time to pick a mystery Christmas star.
0:08:01 > 0:08:02We've got...
0:08:06 > 0:08:08- Choose a category, why don't you?- Christmas Baby?
0:08:08 > 0:08:10- Yes.- Christmas Baby.
0:08:10 > 0:08:11You have picked, yes,
0:08:11 > 0:08:16the infant born approximately 2017 years ago in Bethlehem, baby Jesus.
0:08:16 > 0:08:17So let's have a look at his stats.
0:08:29 > 0:08:32He's the real reason, of course, we have Christmas,
0:08:32 > 0:08:35even if his birth was a sort of mixed up affair
0:08:35 > 0:08:37with the pagan festival of the winter solstice.
0:08:37 > 0:08:39Here's your classic nativity scene.
0:08:39 > 0:08:40Shepherds, tick.
0:08:40 > 0:08:42Animals, tick, wise men, tick.
0:08:42 > 0:08:44Perspective, still to come.
0:08:45 > 0:08:49Who is credited with organising the first nativity scene?
0:08:49 > 0:08:55Oh, I know this. This was, um, Mrs Phillips, my first-year teacher.
0:08:55 > 0:08:56Did a very good job.
0:08:56 > 0:08:58- JOSH:- Were you in a nativity, Richard?
0:08:58 > 0:09:00- RICHARD:- Um, a nativity play, yeah, of course.
0:09:00 > 0:09:02- JOSH:- Yeah... Not "the nativity".
0:09:02 > 0:09:05I was carrying frankincense.
0:09:05 > 0:09:06You'd be a good king.
0:09:06 > 0:09:09- Yeah.- Who were the other kings? Simon Le Bon, I bet.
0:09:09 > 0:09:12Yep. Le Marl.
0:09:13 > 0:09:16Any ideas who it might have been?
0:09:16 > 0:09:19- Was it, erm, Saint Francis?- It was.
0:09:19 > 0:09:22Francis of Assisi. Absolutely. There he is.
0:09:22 > 0:09:25He got permission from the Pope to set up a real-life manger with a cow
0:09:25 > 0:09:28and a donkey, and invited the villagers to come and have a look.
0:09:28 > 0:09:30And the villagers replied, "Um, yeah, all right, mate."
0:09:31 > 0:09:33Well, over the years, many artists have tried to
0:09:33 > 0:09:36capture the holy beauty of baby Jesus. Not all have managed it.
0:09:36 > 0:09:37Here is the Adoration Of The Kings
0:09:37 > 0:09:39by Pieter Bruegel The Elder.
0:09:40 > 0:09:42- Oh.- He's just given birth to Matt Lucas.
0:09:44 > 0:09:49Here's Alesso Baldovinetti's Virgin And Child.
0:09:49 > 0:09:51They've swaddled him too hard, haven't they?
0:09:51 > 0:09:55He looks like he's burst down the end.
0:09:56 > 0:09:59And finally, an anonymous, pre-Renaissance,
0:09:59 > 0:10:01magnificent Madonna And Child.
0:10:01 > 0:10:04- Oh.- If you had a baby that looked like that, you'd turn to religion,
0:10:04 > 0:10:05wouldn't you?
0:10:08 > 0:10:10What does she have in her...? Is it a flame in her hand?
0:10:10 > 0:10:13- It's a pear.- Is the pear symbolic of something important?
0:10:13 > 0:10:14- SUZANNAH:- Yeah, yeah.
0:10:14 > 0:10:17So they'd often put fruit in medieval religious art and things.
0:10:17 > 0:10:20So an apple would be original sin.
0:10:20 > 0:10:22And a cucumber would be the resurrection.
0:10:22 > 0:10:24- Oh, yeah.- Oh, yeah.- Sorry.
0:10:26 > 0:10:29I've never seen a cucumber in a Renaissance picture.
0:10:29 > 0:10:32- Is that...? Where...?- You haven't been looking hard enough.
0:10:32 > 0:10:34- Obviously not.- Pre-Renaissance. Pre-Renaissance.- Oh, oh.
0:10:34 > 0:10:38- Crucially.- There's the mistake I made.- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
0:10:38 > 0:10:40The pear though, it's because it's like a woman's shape.
0:10:40 > 0:10:44It's a fruit of the womb and it's also associated with wisdom and
0:10:44 > 0:10:46sweetness and long life, immortality
0:10:46 > 0:10:48because pear trees grow for a long time.
0:10:48 > 0:10:50What I've just realised is on this show,
0:10:50 > 0:10:55the historian can say anything and we're all so thick we'll buy it.
0:10:55 > 0:10:58And the second they get called on it, so Suzannah gets called by Jack,
0:10:58 > 0:11:00"I've never seen a cucumber in a Renaissance painting."
0:11:00 > 0:11:02She just goes, "Yep. You haven't been looking hard enough."
0:11:02 > 0:11:04And Jack goes, "Oh, OK, yeah."
0:11:04 > 0:11:06It's just, I was humiliated, it shut me up.
0:11:06 > 0:11:09And she was able to get on with all the rubbish she's coming out with.
0:11:09 > 0:11:13In ten years' time they'll play that clip and say he was the first guy who worked it out.
0:11:13 > 0:11:14- Jack Dee.- Yeah, me.
0:11:14 > 0:11:17I was the one brave enough to say, "Hey, hang on a second..."
0:11:17 > 0:11:20Various miracles have been attributed to the Madonna and Child.
0:11:20 > 0:11:23One concerns 12th-century monk, St Bernard Clairvaux
0:11:23 > 0:11:26at Speyer Cathedral in 1146.
0:11:26 > 0:11:29What's supposed to have happened while he was praying before a statue
0:11:29 > 0:11:34- of the Virgin Mary?- So, he was Saint Bernard, did a large dog...?
0:11:34 > 0:11:39Were there tears appearing out of her eyes?
0:11:39 > 0:11:42You're on the right road, Jack, but it was a bodily emanation.
0:11:42 > 0:11:43Oh.
0:11:43 > 0:11:44- JOSH:- Oh, no.
0:11:44 > 0:11:46Was it a rude emanation?
0:11:46 > 0:11:48No, I think it was a very natural emanation.
0:11:48 > 0:11:49Oh, milk from the breast?
0:11:49 > 0:11:51- Indeed.- What!
0:11:51 > 0:11:53Fired breastmilk, yes.
0:11:53 > 0:11:56The sculpture of Mary squirted milk right into the mouth
0:11:56 > 0:11:58of Saint Bernard. There he is.
0:12:00 > 0:12:02- That's a good shot.- That is gross!
0:12:02 > 0:12:06- Is that for real?- Yeah, that's not a snapshot of it happening.
0:12:06 > 0:12:08How many shades of wrong is this story, really?
0:12:08 > 0:12:12Well, I mean, she was just expressing herself, literally, as it were.
0:12:14 > 0:12:17All right, listen, it's time to play for the Christmas Baby.
0:12:17 > 0:12:20In Cincinnati, a nativity created by Jason and Amanda Dixon caused
0:12:20 > 0:12:22controversy for the last three years.
0:12:22 > 0:12:24Why? Why has it upset the locals?
0:12:24 > 0:12:26Have they changed the sex?
0:12:26 > 0:12:27Is it like a female Jesus?
0:12:27 > 0:12:29It's even worse than that, Josh.
0:12:29 > 0:12:33I can't imagine anything worse than that, Sue.
0:12:33 > 0:12:36So if you think perhaps not a living Jesus?
0:12:36 > 0:12:37Oh, a zombie Jesus.
0:12:37 > 0:12:38Zombie Jesus!
0:12:38 > 0:12:41Yeah, let's have a look at zombie Jesus.
0:12:41 > 0:12:42Yep.
0:12:43 > 0:12:47Yeah, that'll stop the carol singers dead in their tracks.
0:12:47 > 0:12:50Zombie Jesus was the second choice of the name for Spandau Ballet,
0:12:50 > 0:12:52wasn't it?
0:12:52 > 0:12:54Congratulations. Well done, Richard's team.
0:12:54 > 0:12:56You win the Christmas Baby.
0:13:00 > 0:13:01So, Richard, your turn.
0:13:01 > 0:13:03Time to pick a mystery Christmas star.
0:13:06 > 0:13:08- Christmas Cook.- We'll go for Christmas Cook, please, Sue.
0:13:08 > 0:13:10You're going to go for Christmas Cook.
0:13:10 > 0:13:14Well, you've chosen Naked Chef and scourge of the turkey twizzler,
0:13:14 > 0:13:16Jamie Oliver.
0:13:16 > 0:13:18Let's have a look at his stats.
0:13:27 > 0:13:30Jamie's big break was a passing appearance
0:13:30 > 0:13:31on the 1996 River Cafe TV series.
0:13:31 > 0:13:33He only turned up that day to cover,
0:13:33 > 0:13:35because somebody else was ill.
0:13:35 > 0:13:36- Is that true?- Yeah.
0:13:36 > 0:13:38And the next day, he had five different calls
0:13:38 > 0:13:40from production companies.
0:13:40 > 0:13:44And that one extra shift turned out to be worth over 150 million quid.
0:13:44 > 0:13:46- Oh, wow.- Yeah. I mean,
0:13:46 > 0:13:48I suppose I only got this job because Mel's phone had run out of
0:13:48 > 0:13:50batteries, but you take it when you can.
0:13:50 > 0:13:52Martin, what was your lucky break?
0:13:52 > 0:13:55- How did you go from...?- My lucky break. I used to...
0:13:55 > 0:13:58When my brother started up with his band and it was a kind of school band
0:13:58 > 0:14:01and I used to roadie for them.
0:14:01 > 0:14:05And every day I would take the equipment to the gig
0:14:05 > 0:14:09and I would stand at the back and watch them play and every time,
0:14:09 > 0:14:13I would hope and pray and wish that something terrible
0:14:13 > 0:14:16was going to happen to one of them so that I could stand-in.
0:14:16 > 0:14:19I saw a documentary on Spandau Ballet,
0:14:19 > 0:14:22and they said that the reason that you got put into the band
0:14:22 > 0:14:25was someone said that,
0:14:25 > 0:14:28"He is too good looking not to be in Spandau Ballet."
0:14:28 > 0:14:30I wasn't going to say that, Josh.
0:14:32 > 0:14:34I couldn't understand for a long time,
0:14:34 > 0:14:37because I didn't have a mobile phone when I started out in doing
0:14:37 > 0:14:39what I'm doing, doing stand-up.
0:14:39 > 0:14:43And the way you start doing that is that you go out and you do try-outs,
0:14:43 > 0:14:45as you know, and open spots,
0:14:45 > 0:14:48and people will ring you back if they want you to come and do a gig.
0:14:48 > 0:14:50And I was doing this for about a year and a half
0:14:50 > 0:14:52and no-one rang me back.
0:14:52 > 0:14:55And Jane said, "Well, why don't you get a phone?"
0:14:58 > 0:15:01I got an answer phone, cos I was out all day working in a bar,
0:15:01 > 0:15:03and the day I got the answer phone,
0:15:03 > 0:15:06I came back and there were about four people saying, "Can you do a gig?
0:15:06 > 0:15:09"We've been trying to get a hold of you", and I was about to give up.
0:15:09 > 0:15:13And I bought this answer phone and all of a sudden my career took off.
0:15:13 > 0:15:14So we're talking about lucky breaks.
0:15:14 > 0:15:17Mine was when I went to Dixons.
0:15:24 > 0:15:27Um, 2016, Jamie released his first Christmas cookbook,
0:15:27 > 0:15:29which came in for some criticism.
0:15:29 > 0:15:31- Why?- It was Easter.
0:15:33 > 0:15:36Wasn't it that it was just huge amounts of calories?
0:15:36 > 0:15:39If you ate one of his meals, it was like, you're off the charts.
0:15:39 > 0:15:41But isn't that the same for every Christmas dinner?
0:15:41 > 0:15:44Well, this was pretty, pretty intense, actually.
0:15:44 > 0:15:48The Christmas Day menu clocked in at almost 10,000 calories.
0:15:48 > 0:15:51What did he do? Deep fry everything? What was the...? What was the...?
0:15:51 > 0:15:53Well, it was the holidays, so it was a full festive lunch,
0:15:53 > 0:15:56the suggested evening leftovers meal and drinks.
0:15:56 > 0:15:58I love it. I'm getting that book.
0:15:58 > 0:16:01- Which book was that? - Is anybody here a vegetarian?
0:16:01 > 0:16:03- Does anybody...?- Yeah.- Yeah, I am.
0:16:03 > 0:16:05What do you eat at Christmas?
0:16:05 > 0:16:07- We have vegetable lasagne. - I'd be all right with that.
0:16:07 > 0:16:09- You're not invited.- No.
0:16:09 > 0:16:11You are.
0:16:11 > 0:16:13Brutal. It's always, it's a challenge.
0:16:13 > 0:16:15- What do you have for...?- You can have everything else.
0:16:15 > 0:16:18You can have all the Yorkshire puddings and the mashed potatoes.
0:16:18 > 0:16:20I have the trimmings with the vegetable lasagne.
0:16:20 > 0:16:22See, that's where I object.
0:16:22 > 0:16:24- Oh, really?- I think if you're not having the meat,
0:16:24 > 0:16:27you shouldn't have all the other stuff.
0:16:27 > 0:16:29It's cheating.
0:16:30 > 0:16:32Jamie's not just a television cook.
0:16:32 > 0:16:34He also has a chain of restaurants.
0:16:34 > 0:16:37Why is he losing money at his restaurants?
0:16:37 > 0:16:39Oh, I know this.
0:16:39 > 0:16:42They've got the napkins and they say "Jamie's" on them.
0:16:42 > 0:16:44And people, like, are stealing them all the time.
0:16:44 > 0:16:46Are you stealing them, Josh?
0:16:46 > 0:16:49- Is that how you know?- I have got one. Yeah, of course. I'm not an idiot.
0:16:49 > 0:16:54He reckons that 30,000 napkins a month get taken.
0:16:54 > 0:16:56Why doesn't he just stop putting his name on them?
0:16:56 > 0:16:59Now that's the scientist, you see.
0:16:59 > 0:17:01Meanwhile, Antony Worrall Thompson's new shop,
0:17:01 > 0:17:05World Of Napkins, going from strength to strength.
0:17:06 > 0:17:10Roaring trade. Jamie recently upset Spain with one of his recipes.
0:17:10 > 0:17:13- Do you remember why?- He made a paella that wasn't like a paella at all or
0:17:13 > 0:17:15- something, wasn't it?- Yes. Does anyone know what he put in it?
0:17:15 > 0:17:18White wine in it instead of red wine or something like that?
0:17:18 > 0:17:19- No rice.- He put chorizo in it,
0:17:19 > 0:17:21and you're not supposed to put chorizo in it.
0:17:21 > 0:17:23- He did, yeah.- Yeah. - The cooks were not amused.
0:17:23 > 0:17:25They tweeted him stuff like, "Great work, Jamie Oliver.
0:17:25 > 0:17:29"I also cooked paella. Hope you like my version."
0:17:31 > 0:17:32I love the indignation, though,
0:17:32 > 0:17:35that happens when they change the recipe very slightly.
0:17:35 > 0:17:36Of course they're going to change it.
0:17:36 > 0:17:39That's the whole point of having it on the TV show.
0:17:39 > 0:17:41I think it was Nigella put white wine instead of red wine
0:17:41 > 0:17:44in bolognese and it was like, "Blah, you can't do that!"
0:17:44 > 0:17:46Get a life.
0:17:46 > 0:17:48Try it with white wine and fuck off.
0:17:53 > 0:17:55Can't wait for the Jack Dee cookery show.
0:17:57 > 0:18:00All right, listen. Time to play for the Christmas Cook.
0:18:00 > 0:18:02This is a challenge now for both teams.
0:18:02 > 0:18:05Jamie's had wonderful TV shows over the years.
0:18:05 > 0:18:0629 in total.
0:18:06 > 0:18:12I want each team to name one of his series in turn, until you run dry.
0:18:12 > 0:18:15- Richard, we're going to start with you.- Oh, my word.
0:18:15 > 0:18:17- Your first one, please.- We'll start with the Naked Chef.
0:18:17 > 0:18:18- JOSH:- I'm out.
0:18:19 > 0:18:22- Naked Chef's right.- Comfort Food.
0:18:22 > 0:18:24- Is right.- Jamie's School Dinners.
0:18:24 > 0:18:28- Jamie's School Dinners, yes. - Five Ingredients.
0:18:28 > 0:18:29Yes.
0:18:29 > 0:18:31This is where we find that Jack Dee is actually
0:18:31 > 0:18:34Britain's greatest Jamie Oliver archivist.
0:18:36 > 0:18:38Jamie's 30 Minute Meals?
0:18:38 > 0:18:39Yes, well done.
0:18:39 > 0:18:41Oh. Um...
0:18:42 > 0:18:43Do you know what?
0:18:44 > 0:18:45I think we don't know.
0:18:45 > 0:18:47Any more. We don't know.
0:18:47 > 0:18:48- Do you know any more? - 15 Minute Meals.
0:18:48 > 0:18:49Oh, yes.
0:18:49 > 0:18:52- That's definitely one. - That is definitely one.
0:18:52 > 0:18:54- Hey! Come on!- Pipped at the post.
0:18:54 > 0:18:57Well done. Richard's team, you win the Christmas Cook.
0:19:00 > 0:19:02Time now to fire up our Christmassy fruit machine.
0:19:02 > 0:19:05Each time I spin, up will pop three Christmassy names.
0:19:05 > 0:19:08Our team must match the extraordinary fact to the extraordinary person.
0:19:08 > 0:19:10So, let's spin.
0:19:10 > 0:19:12You've got three Kings.
0:19:12 > 0:19:16Spooky scribe Stephen King, bike-loving cook Simon King,
0:19:16 > 0:19:18and singer turned Strictly star Mollie King.
0:19:18 > 0:19:22The question is, which King suffers from triskaidekaphobia,
0:19:22 > 0:19:25which is the fear of the number 13?
0:19:25 > 0:19:26Josh, you go first, please.
0:19:26 > 0:19:31I only know about Stephen King, who is quite an odd guy, right?
0:19:31 > 0:19:32Yes, he's eccentric, isn't he?
0:19:32 > 0:19:34Could he have triskaidekaphobia?
0:19:34 > 0:19:36All of them could, obviously.
0:19:36 > 0:19:38Because...
0:19:38 > 0:19:39That's what we're here for.
0:19:39 > 0:19:42Yeah.
0:19:42 > 0:19:43I think...
0:19:43 > 0:19:46I know he famously went straight from his 12th to his 14th book,
0:19:46 > 0:19:48didn't he? And there's the weird...
0:19:48 > 0:19:50Anyone got any phobias, while we're on the subject?
0:19:50 > 0:19:52I've been asked if I've got a phobia,
0:19:52 > 0:19:54you know, when you do shows and stuff,
0:19:54 > 0:19:57have you got any phobias? No, I haven't got any phobias.
0:19:57 > 0:19:59"Nothing at all? Snakes?"
0:19:59 > 0:20:01Of course I'm scared of snakes, that's not a phobia,
0:20:01 > 0:20:03that's rational.
0:20:03 > 0:20:04That's not a phobia, is it?
0:20:04 > 0:20:08To be scared of something that could kill you, like that.
0:20:09 > 0:20:10- That's normal.- That was terrifying, that.
0:20:10 > 0:20:13- Yeah.- That's right, they are terrifying.
0:20:13 > 0:20:14That was bitey and spitty.
0:20:14 > 0:20:16Yes, it was a spitting biter.
0:20:17 > 0:20:20- Yeah.- Yeah.- When you do that, your hair goes like this.
0:20:21 > 0:20:24- Do it, do it!- I've never done it before, how am I so good?
0:20:25 > 0:20:26Yes!
0:20:32 > 0:20:36Do you know what? I've been fearing that I haven't got a thing.
0:20:36 > 0:20:37I've got a thing now.
0:20:37 > 0:20:38You've got my thing.
0:20:40 > 0:20:42I did it first, let's not forget that.
0:20:43 > 0:20:45So if I was to push you for an answer?
0:20:45 > 0:20:47Can we go with Stephen King?
0:20:47 > 0:20:49You can.
0:20:49 > 0:20:51Richard's team. Are you a fan of The Saturdays?
0:20:51 > 0:20:53You're a big music fan. Do you know their work?
0:20:53 > 0:20:54Yeah, I like The Saturdays.
0:20:54 > 0:20:56Frankie.
0:20:56 > 0:20:57Mollie.
0:20:57 > 0:20:58- The others.- Others.
0:20:58 > 0:21:01Yeah. What do you think?
0:21:01 > 0:21:02Maybe The Hairy Biker?
0:21:02 > 0:21:04- Maybe Si King?- Go with Mollie.
0:21:04 > 0:21:06- Go with Mollie?- Yeah.
0:21:06 > 0:21:08Terrified of the number 13, which is why
0:21:08 > 0:21:11when S Club 7 started getting bigger and bigger she left.
0:21:13 > 0:21:15So you think it is Mollie who is triskaidekaphobic?
0:21:15 > 0:21:17Yes, we do think that.
0:21:17 > 0:21:18The answer is...
0:21:20 > 0:21:22Yes, there you go.
0:21:22 > 0:21:24Suffers from thirteen-ophobia as we say.
0:21:24 > 0:21:26King says...
0:21:43 > 0:21:44There is a guy crying out for a bungalow.
0:21:47 > 0:21:49Josh, well done, you win the Stephen King.
0:21:54 > 0:21:57So here comes three more Christmassy names,
0:21:57 > 0:22:01we have got the original Santa Claus, Saint Nicholas,
0:22:01 > 0:22:05we've got the great lover and film star Rudolph Valentino and hit maker
0:22:05 > 0:22:08Bee Gee Robin Gibb.
0:22:08 > 0:22:11So the question goes to you, Richard, first,
0:22:11 > 0:22:15which of these was said to possess a cursed ring?
0:22:16 > 0:22:19Well... Would you expect Robin Gibb has a cursed ring?
0:22:19 > 0:22:21That's why he has got such a high voice.
0:22:23 > 0:22:26Perhaps Robin Gibb bought, you know, like, some rock stars,
0:22:26 > 0:22:28they get a thing where they buy something.
0:22:28 > 0:22:30You might have bought Aleister Crowley's ring or something.
0:22:30 > 0:22:33- That's right.- That's the kind of thing they do, right?
0:22:33 > 0:22:36- Yes, I will go with you guys.- We think that Robin Gibb has a cursed ring.
0:22:36 > 0:22:41What a time to tune in to the show that would be.
0:22:41 > 0:22:43Josh's team, who has got the cursed ring for you?
0:22:43 > 0:22:45What's the story of Rudolph Valentino?
0:22:45 > 0:22:47- I don't know...- A real lothario, wasn't he?
0:22:47 > 0:22:48Yes, lothario.
0:22:48 > 0:22:51Just like a kind of Darren Day figure?
0:22:51 > 0:22:52Yes!
0:22:52 > 0:22:54But even more randy, if you can imagine that.
0:22:54 > 0:22:56Even more randy than Darren Day?!
0:22:56 > 0:22:58One more randy than Darren Day.
0:22:58 > 0:23:00Darren twice-a-day?
0:23:02 > 0:23:04Rudolph Valentino, then.
0:23:04 > 0:23:06- Should we go with that? - It feels right.
0:23:06 > 0:23:08You're going to go for Rudolph Valentino? All right.
0:23:08 > 0:23:11The answer is Rudolph Valentino.
0:23:18 > 0:23:19According to legend, '20s film star
0:23:19 > 0:23:23Valentino bought an unusual cat's eye ring in San Francisco.
0:23:23 > 0:23:25He knew it was said to be cursed but dismissed it as silly superstition.
0:23:25 > 0:23:28It would have looked something like this.
0:23:28 > 0:23:29So let me give you the full story.
0:23:29 > 0:23:32According to The Telegraph, he wore the ring while filming
0:23:32 > 0:23:35his next movie, The Young Rajah, which turned out to be his only flop.
0:23:35 > 0:23:38He didn't wear it again until a trip to New York,
0:23:38 > 0:23:40two weeks later he was dead.
0:23:40 > 0:23:44Shortly afterwards his friend, actress Pola Negri, chose the ring as a memento.
0:23:44 > 0:23:47Almost immediately, she suffered a mystery illness
0:23:47 > 0:23:48that nearly ended her career.
0:23:48 > 0:23:52While recuperating she gave the ring to young singer Russ Columbo.
0:23:52 > 0:23:54A few days later, he died in a mysterious shooting accident.
0:23:54 > 0:23:57- Wow.- The ring then went to Russ's best friend, Joe Casino -
0:23:57 > 0:24:00still wearing the ring when he was killed by a runaway lorry.
0:24:00 > 0:24:03It was then stolen by a burglar, who was shot dead by the police, with
0:24:03 > 0:24:07the ring in his pocket. Then borrowed by a young actor for a screen test, who
0:24:07 > 0:24:11then died of a rare disease within weeks, before it finally vanished
0:24:11 > 0:24:13at a fire at the bank where it was kept.
0:24:13 > 0:24:16And I was given it shortly before doing my last episode of Bake Off.
0:24:18 > 0:24:20Well done, though, Josh's team.
0:24:20 > 0:24:22You get...
0:24:22 > 0:24:23The Rudolph.
0:24:27 > 0:24:29Right, everybody, let's play Finish The Fact.
0:24:29 > 0:24:31I'm going to start by reading out a Christmas-based gem
0:24:31 > 0:24:34and you buzz in when you think you know how it ends.
0:24:34 > 0:24:38First up, we've got the Queen's grandfather, King George V.
0:24:41 > 0:24:43BELL
0:24:43 > 0:24:45A Domino's.
0:24:45 > 0:24:46BUZZER
0:24:46 > 0:24:47King George VI.
0:24:51 > 0:24:52His Christmas speech.
0:24:52 > 0:24:54Absolutely.
0:24:57 > 0:24:58BELL
0:24:58 > 0:25:02Developed a stutter and thought, "This will make a good film."
0:25:06 > 0:25:07That was his son, wasn't it?
0:25:07 > 0:25:10Did he decide to show the nation that he was the boy with the dragon tattoo?
0:25:11 > 0:25:12No, he did, he had a tattoo.
0:25:12 > 0:25:14- Did he?- Yeah.
0:25:14 > 0:25:16- Of what?- Of a dragon.
0:25:16 > 0:25:17I just said.
0:25:23 > 0:25:26- Very good.- If you ever watch the tape back, the clues were all there.
0:25:28 > 0:25:30He fell through his chair.
0:25:30 > 0:25:31Aww!
0:25:31 > 0:25:33He made the speech from Windsor Castle and just
0:25:33 > 0:25:36as he was about to go live to the nation, he sat on the chair and the
0:25:36 > 0:25:40entire bottom fell out of it and they just managed to prise him out
0:25:40 > 0:25:41before the broadcast.
0:25:41 > 0:25:43Sadly no-one wins the king there.
0:25:43 > 0:25:45We will move to the next one.
0:25:45 > 0:25:48We've got old chimney-lover, Santa Claus.
0:25:53 > 0:25:54BUZZER
0:25:54 > 0:25:57When the real Santa Claus turned up,
0:25:57 > 0:25:58with a bat and a grudge.
0:25:59 > 0:26:03Imagine what happened when they get a lot of men in hot costumes.
0:26:03 > 0:26:06- A lot of...- Did they all start drinking?
0:26:06 > 0:26:09They did, yes. What happens when you've got lads drinking?
0:26:09 > 0:26:11- A fight?- Ding dong merrily on high?
0:26:11 > 0:26:13Yeah, ding dong merrily on high.
0:26:16 > 0:26:17BUZZER
0:26:17 > 0:26:21When the police turned up and made a list
0:26:21 > 0:26:24of who had been naughty and who had been nice.
0:26:26 > 0:26:29The police did turn up, so actually I will give you that.
0:26:33 > 0:26:35LAUGHTER
0:26:35 > 0:26:40Yes. This was at the Newtown in Powys, where 4,000 people dressed
0:26:40 > 0:26:44as Father Christmas and heavy drinking led to a mass brawl.
0:26:44 > 0:26:45Well done, Richard's team.
0:26:45 > 0:26:46You win the Santa.
0:26:52 > 0:26:55So, we have come to the end of the show and I can tell you tonight that
0:26:55 > 0:26:58this evening's winners with the most Christmassy names collected -
0:26:58 > 0:26:59Richard's team!
0:26:59 > 0:27:01- Yay!- Well done!
0:27:01 > 0:27:03Well done!
0:27:05 > 0:27:08And seeing as it is Christmas, of course I have got you presents.
0:27:08 > 0:27:12You get to take home this magnificent
0:27:12 > 0:27:16and entirely brand-new festive album
0:27:16 > 0:27:18from Alexander Armstrong.
0:27:20 > 0:27:22- Classy.- I will pass that over.
0:27:22 > 0:27:25- Classy. Thank you.- Enjoy.
0:27:27 > 0:27:31Of course nobody goes home empty-handed. For the losers,
0:27:31 > 0:27:34Rudolph Valentino's cursed ring.
0:27:34 > 0:27:36- Catch it!- Argh!
0:27:43 > 0:27:45My thanks to all my guests and thanks to you,
0:27:45 > 0:27:47most importantly, at home for watching.
0:27:47 > 0:27:50Happy Christmas to everyone and we are going to be back with the rest
0:27:50 > 0:27:51of the series in the New Year.
0:27:51 > 0:27:53For now, goodnight.