0:00:20 > 0:00:25APPLAUSE
0:00:25 > 0:00:27Hello you!
0:00:27 > 0:00:29And welcome to Insert Name Here.
0:00:29 > 0:00:32The show where we discover surprising facts about people
0:00:32 > 0:00:34with just one thing in common, they've all got the same name.
0:00:34 > 0:00:36Joining me, six of my favourite people.
0:00:36 > 0:00:38Each differently named, but all equally loved.
0:00:38 > 0:00:40Please welcome Suzannah Lipscomb, Adrian Chiles,
0:00:40 > 0:00:42and their team captain Josh Widdicombe.
0:00:42 > 0:00:44And on the other side, Sara Pascoe, Anita Rani,
0:00:44 > 0:00:46and their captain, Richard Osman.
0:00:46 > 0:00:49CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:00:54 > 0:00:56Anita, welcome.
0:00:56 > 0:00:58- Thank you. - Now, you're our first Anita.
0:00:58 > 0:00:59- Yes!- Very first.
0:00:59 > 0:01:01How did you get your name? Does it have any meaning?
0:01:01 > 0:01:03- Any special reasons? - Well, I love my name,
0:01:03 > 0:01:05because it's an international name.
0:01:05 > 0:01:07I go to lots of countries and everyone's like, oh, Anita!
0:01:07 > 0:01:09Is it Spanish? Is it Italian? Oh, it's Indian.
0:01:09 > 0:01:13But it was my dad's brother that called me Anita,
0:01:13 > 0:01:15which seems quite radical, great name, uncle,
0:01:15 > 0:01:18except I've got two aunts called Sita and Rita.
0:01:18 > 0:01:20- So... - LAUGHTER
0:01:20 > 0:01:22- Easy!- I know!
0:01:22 > 0:01:23And an uncle called Ryvita.
0:01:24 > 0:01:27You're right though, it is an international name.
0:01:27 > 0:01:30- Yes.- Whereas Sara and Susan, we're stuck with...
0:01:30 > 0:01:32We're not very international, our names.
0:01:32 > 0:01:34- We're not jetset, are we? - Sara's Arabic.
0:01:34 > 0:01:36- Is it?- Yeah, so you're on your own.
0:01:39 > 0:01:43- Any history behind your name, Adrian?- Well, my mum's Croatian.
0:01:43 > 0:01:45And she married my dad, now living in Birmingham.
0:01:45 > 0:01:48And she wanted something that reminded her of Croatia.
0:01:48 > 0:01:50And it was the Adriatic Sea I was named after.
0:01:50 > 0:01:52Although it was actually the second choice name.
0:01:52 > 0:01:53She wanted to call me Igor.
0:01:56 > 0:01:57Oh, I wish!
0:01:58 > 0:02:00- What could've been. - That would have been amazing.
0:02:00 > 0:02:02- Wouldn't it?!- Igor Chiles!
0:02:02 > 0:02:05I don't know whether it would have affected your career.
0:02:05 > 0:02:08- Well, I don't know.- Have you seen Working Lunch with Igor Chiles?
0:02:10 > 0:02:12To the all-important question, now.
0:02:12 > 0:02:14And that's which name's going to be featuring tonight?
0:02:14 > 0:02:17Well, they hang out with Peter, or swing with Tarzan.
0:02:17 > 0:02:19But contrary to popular belief, never plain.
0:02:19 > 0:02:21Tonight's name is Jane.
0:02:21 > 0:02:22APPLAUSE
0:02:25 > 0:02:27So we'll be talking all kinds of Janes.
0:02:27 > 0:02:29We've thrown in a few Janets, Janettes, just for good measure.
0:02:29 > 0:02:32Along the way, our teams will collect as many Janes as they can.
0:02:32 > 0:02:35And at the end of the show the winning team will have the honour of
0:02:35 > 0:02:38deciding who is officially the greatest Jane of all time.
0:02:39 > 0:02:41Richard, any ideas to who that might be?
0:02:41 > 0:02:43Best ever Jane? Well, I was thinking,
0:02:43 > 0:02:44when you announced the name,
0:02:44 > 0:02:47that Jane Austen would be sitting at home, watching this with a pint.
0:02:47 > 0:02:48Just going, "Best Jane?
0:02:48 > 0:02:52"Well, I've got this absolutely, I've absolutely got this sorted."
0:02:52 > 0:02:55And then, when you said we'll throw in some Janets and Janettes,
0:02:55 > 0:02:56she's gone...
0:02:56 > 0:02:58Oh, Janette Krankie!
0:02:59 > 0:03:02- Suddenly...- She's not on the £10 note though, is she?
0:03:03 > 0:03:05I think in Scotland, she is.
0:03:08 > 0:03:09Josh, any early thoughts for you?
0:03:09 > 0:03:12Well, I like to look for a pattern.
0:03:12 > 0:03:15Jane is a good detective name.
0:03:15 > 0:03:17- Yes, as in Tennison?- Jane Tennison.
0:03:17 > 0:03:19Miss Marple's real name is Jane.
0:03:19 > 0:03:21Yes, well remembered, yeah.
0:03:21 > 0:03:22- Very good.- That's it.
0:03:24 > 0:03:26Thanks for that, Josh. Let's get on with the show.
0:03:26 > 0:03:27Time to pick a Jane, any Jane.
0:03:27 > 0:03:29Our panellists are going to choose a category.
0:03:29 > 0:03:31Behind each one lurks a famous Jane,
0:03:31 > 0:03:33which our teams must then attempt to win.
0:03:33 > 0:03:34So what have we got? We've got...
0:03:41 > 0:03:42So Josh, you're up first.
0:03:42 > 0:03:44What are you going to pick out of that one?
0:03:44 > 0:03:46I think we'll go with a Classic-y Jane.
0:03:46 > 0:03:50It is literary giant and social commentator, Jane Austen.
0:03:50 > 0:03:51Let's have a look at the stats.
0:04:05 > 0:04:07Jane is one of the literary figures of the 19th century.
0:04:07 > 0:04:09Her books have been translated into over 40 languages,
0:04:09 > 0:04:11and total sales in the hundreds of millions.
0:04:11 > 0:04:14Now Sara, you've adapted an Austen novel for the stage, have you not?
0:04:14 > 0:04:17Yes! Pride and Prejudice, I adapted.
0:04:17 > 0:04:18- Good experience?- I love it!
0:04:18 > 0:04:21Because now I'm never ever writing anything original ever again.
0:04:21 > 0:04:24It's so hard to think up stuff.
0:04:24 > 0:04:26If you get someone else's really great book,
0:04:26 > 0:04:29you just get a thesaurus, change a couple of words and get paid.
0:04:30 > 0:04:33My next Edinburgh, I'm going to adapt a Michael McIntyre show.
0:04:35 > 0:04:37Jane was born in Steventon, Hampshire,
0:04:37 > 0:04:39where her father was Rector.
0:04:39 > 0:04:42What did her mother do to Jane when she was just a few months old?
0:04:42 > 0:04:44She must've sent her away.
0:04:44 > 0:04:46She did indeed send her away, yeah.
0:04:46 > 0:04:48And why would they be sent away?
0:04:48 > 0:04:50They would send babies away to be breast-fed,
0:04:50 > 0:04:53because the aristocracy thought it was a bit disgusting,
0:04:53 > 0:04:55a bit unfashionable to breast-feed.
0:04:55 > 0:04:58So they'd send them to a poor woman to be a wet nurse.
0:04:58 > 0:05:00And they had to choose very carefully,
0:05:00 > 0:05:04because a wet nurse was thought to pass on her moral character
0:05:04 > 0:05:06to the baby through the milk.
0:05:06 > 0:05:09Did Jane Austen's wet nurse ever claim any credit in later life?
0:05:11 > 0:05:13Josh, you're a new father, are you tempted?
0:05:13 > 0:05:15- Every night.- Yeah, I thought so.
0:05:16 > 0:05:18A large part of Jane Austen's education came
0:05:18 > 0:05:20from her father's extensive library.
0:05:20 > 0:05:22And Jane showed an early flair for language.
0:05:22 > 0:05:24As well as being extremely well-read,
0:05:24 > 0:05:28she was also talented at Bilbo Catch.
0:05:28 > 0:05:30Now, what's Bilbo Catch?
0:05:30 > 0:05:32Nothing to do with hobbits.
0:05:32 > 0:05:34I was going to say it must be something to do with Josh.
0:05:35 > 0:05:38Ha, ha. Is it a game?
0:05:38 > 0:05:41- It is a game.- Is Bilbo going to be something to do with books,
0:05:41 > 0:05:42because of biblio-?
0:05:42 > 0:05:43RICHARD GASPS
0:05:43 > 0:05:46- No, but that would be very clever. - That's good.- That's very good.
0:05:46 > 0:05:48That's sort of overwhelmingly clever, Josh.
0:05:48 > 0:05:50- I know.- What's happened to you?! - I know!
0:05:50 > 0:05:52You know what I could have done without
0:05:52 > 0:05:54is Richard doing an intake of breath when I said something clever.
0:05:56 > 0:05:57I'm just very proud, it's very...
0:05:59 > 0:06:01That 18 months we sent you away have really worked.
0:06:03 > 0:06:06Basically, it's an old-fashioned version game of cup and ball.
0:06:06 > 0:06:09- So that's essentially, let's have a look...- Oh, I'd love that.
0:06:09 > 0:06:12By the way, it is one of the few sports still available on the BBC,
0:06:12 > 0:06:15so let's keep it free to air. Keep it free to air.
0:06:15 > 0:06:17Famously, she never married,
0:06:17 > 0:06:20although she was engaged to a young man called Harris Bigg-Wither.
0:06:20 > 0:06:23There he is. How long did that engagement last?
0:06:23 > 0:06:26Until he died of strangulation from his own collar?
0:06:28 > 0:06:31- A day.- Exactly right, a day.
0:06:31 > 0:06:32Oh!
0:06:32 > 0:06:34Intake of breath please, Richard.
0:06:34 > 0:06:36No, that's guessing, I know you can do that.
0:06:37 > 0:06:39One Austen biography describes him as...
0:06:47 > 0:06:48But, on the plus side...
0:06:49 > 0:06:50There wasn't a plus side, sadly.
0:06:50 > 0:06:51Needless to say,
0:06:51 > 0:06:54manners and etiquette play a hugely important part in Austen's work,
0:06:54 > 0:06:57and she was an expert in all areas of social behaviour,
0:06:57 > 0:06:59so I'm going to test both teams on their ability
0:06:59 > 0:07:01to understand the manners of the Regency period.
0:07:01 > 0:07:04We're going to play our very own calling card etiquette.
0:07:04 > 0:07:05DELICATE PIANO JINGLE
0:07:08 > 0:07:09Welcome. LAUGHTER
0:07:09 > 0:07:14What was the ideal length in the Regency period of a morning visit?
0:07:14 > 0:07:1645 minutes?
0:07:16 > 0:07:18- Less than that.- 20 minutes.
0:07:18 > 0:07:21Between 20 and 30 minutes, yeah.
0:07:21 > 0:07:23You know, part of the reason is because if you drank tea,
0:07:23 > 0:07:24you'd need to go to the toilet,
0:07:24 > 0:07:26but you couldn't go to the toilet in their house.
0:07:26 > 0:07:28So much of it is about urinating.
0:07:28 > 0:07:30And if you're out of the house as a woman,
0:07:30 > 0:07:31there's nowhere for you to go,
0:07:31 > 0:07:33- because there weren't any public toilets for women.- No.
0:07:33 > 0:07:36So you always, if you were drinking something, you had to get home.
0:07:36 > 0:07:38But also, Homes Under The Hammer's about to start, so...
0:07:40 > 0:07:44So much of this is like living within an Indian world now, though.
0:07:44 > 0:07:46There's so much formal etiquette
0:07:46 > 0:07:48that when people come round to your house,
0:07:48 > 0:07:49you've just got to be ever ready.
0:07:49 > 0:07:52Like, my mum packed me off to university, saying,
0:07:52 > 0:07:55always have potato and onion and garlic in the house,
0:07:55 > 0:07:57in case someone turns up and you need to cook something.
0:07:57 > 0:07:59So if I'd gone to uni with you, I'd come round,
0:07:59 > 0:08:02you'd have made me garlicky, oniony potatoes?
0:08:02 > 0:08:05I actually made all my friends by cooking at university,
0:08:05 > 0:08:08because all students were like, we want to be your mate,
0:08:08 > 0:08:10because you've got the garlicky potato thing going on.
0:08:11 > 0:08:14All right, when would a morning visit take place?
0:08:14 > 0:08:15When someone died.
0:08:17 > 0:08:18In the afternoon?
0:08:18 > 0:08:21Yes. Morning visits took place in the afternoon,
0:08:21 > 0:08:25and then they could go back, in time for a stultifying evening at home.
0:08:25 > 0:08:28If you're paying a morning visit, and someone else appears,
0:08:28 > 0:08:29a second caller, what should you do?
0:08:29 > 0:08:31- Leave.- Immediately.
0:08:31 > 0:08:33- Immediately, yeah. - Who, the second person?
0:08:33 > 0:08:36No, the first person needs to skedaddle ASAP.
0:08:36 > 0:08:38Only because the second person's Steve, and, oh...
0:08:38 > 0:08:39I can't bear Steve.
0:08:40 > 0:08:44- Life was shit before the smartphone, wasn't it?- Really shit.
0:08:45 > 0:08:47They were mental in the olden times, weren't they?
0:08:47 > 0:08:51When did the olden times start, and when did they end, as an historian?
0:08:51 > 0:08:53Well, we have the Olden Times,
0:08:53 > 0:08:58going from about 500 BC up until 600 AD,
0:08:58 > 0:09:00and then we move into the Olden Days...
0:09:00 > 0:09:01LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:09:05 > 0:09:07Time to play for the Jane.
0:09:07 > 0:09:11Now clearly we couldn't discuss Jane Austen without touching on Mr Darcy,
0:09:11 > 0:09:13and the 1995 adaptation of Pride and Prejudice.
0:09:13 > 0:09:16It starred the wonderful Jennifer Ehle and Colin Firth,
0:09:16 > 0:09:19and, most notably, that scene.
0:09:19 > 0:09:22After the success of the BBC version of Pride and Prejudice,
0:09:22 > 0:09:26there was an increase in what Jane Austen-related activity?
0:09:26 > 0:09:27Arranged marriages.
0:09:29 > 0:09:32Nope. A bit fruity, a little bit fruity.
0:09:32 > 0:09:33Pineapple.
0:09:34 > 0:09:37- That's very fruity.- Oh, so something less fruity than pineapple,
0:09:37 > 0:09:39so like a pineapple... Oh, Lilt!
0:09:43 > 0:09:46You know, role-play, dressing up as Darcy. Corsets.
0:09:46 > 0:09:49You're very, very close, not role-play, but...
0:09:49 > 0:09:51Sexy writing?
0:09:51 > 0:09:52- "Sexy writing."- Sexy writing!
0:09:55 > 0:09:57I couldn't think what it was called.
0:09:57 > 0:10:00- Sexy writing.- Do you call pornography sexy pictures?
0:10:01 > 0:10:02Sexy writing, it was.
0:10:02 > 0:10:05According to the New York Times, all sorts of fan-written erotica
0:10:05 > 0:10:07was published, with titles such as, "Spank Me, Mr Darcy",
0:10:07 > 0:10:10"Seducing Mr Darcy", along with "Sense and Sexuality".
0:10:10 > 0:10:12Oh, dear. Here's an extract
0:10:12 > 0:10:15from "Pride and Penetration" by Virginia Wade...
0:10:16 > 0:10:18- Virginia Wade?! - Not the tennis player.
0:10:34 > 0:10:37But then another visitor arrived, and I had to leave immediately.
0:10:37 > 0:10:38LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:10:40 > 0:10:42Well done, Josh's team, you get the Jane.
0:10:44 > 0:10:46All right, Richard, it's now your turn to pick a Jane.
0:10:49 > 0:10:51Could we have an Icy Jane, please?
0:10:51 > 0:10:53Well, you've picked champion ice skater,
0:10:53 > 0:10:55and one half of Torvill and Dean,
0:10:55 > 0:10:56Jane Torvill.
0:10:56 > 0:10:58Let's have a look at her stats.
0:11:13 > 0:11:15So Jane was born in 1957,
0:11:15 > 0:11:17found success initially with another dance partner,
0:11:17 > 0:11:18Michael Hutchinson,
0:11:18 > 0:11:20and then as an individual skater.
0:11:20 > 0:11:23There she is. Not quite as amazing as it looks.
0:11:23 > 0:11:25Her dad ran a key-cutting stall.
0:11:27 > 0:11:29So that is one hell of a trophy haul.
0:11:29 > 0:11:34Now, has anybody else been given a surprise gift or prize?
0:11:34 > 0:11:36I actually got the best present ever
0:11:36 > 0:11:39at the wrap party for a show I was doing, where the producer,
0:11:39 > 0:11:43she'd noticed that I've got a slight obsession with descaling kettles.
0:11:43 > 0:11:44I love descaling kettles.
0:11:47 > 0:11:48This came out of nowhere.
0:11:48 > 0:11:50The kettle in the dressing room...
0:11:51 > 0:11:53..I bought some descaler, and I just love watching things descale,
0:11:53 > 0:11:55then they're all shiny.
0:11:55 > 0:11:58And, honestly, for the wrap party, she found,
0:11:58 > 0:12:01she sourced, you know, a big urn for boiling water,
0:12:01 > 0:12:03an ancient one,
0:12:03 > 0:12:04incredibly scaled.
0:12:06 > 0:12:08Bought me 12 bottles of descaler.
0:12:08 > 0:12:11I'm not kidding, it was a Saturday night, I think West Brom had lost,
0:12:11 > 0:12:13and I thought, "Oh, no, I don't care, I'm going home,"
0:12:13 > 0:12:16I've put the urn on the side, filled it with boiling water.
0:12:16 > 0:12:19It was filthy, this urn, it was so scaled, it was that thick.
0:12:19 > 0:12:22I put 12 bottles of scaler in when it boiled,
0:12:22 > 0:12:25and just literally watched it sizzle for two hours,
0:12:25 > 0:12:27and it was gleaming.
0:12:27 > 0:12:29I wasn't expecting that, I won't lie.
0:12:30 > 0:12:32So the main thing we all know about Jane
0:12:32 > 0:12:35is that she and Christopher Dean stormed to Olympic gold in Sarajevo
0:12:35 > 0:12:39in 1984 with a record number of perfect scores from the judges.
0:12:39 > 0:12:42What unexpected side-effect is their win thought to have had?
0:12:42 > 0:12:44Babies, more babies?
0:12:44 > 0:12:46- I don't know. - It wasn't more babies, but...
0:12:46 > 0:12:47Oh, were they called Torvill or Dean?
0:12:47 > 0:12:50No, they'd have been called, sorry, Jane or Christopher.
0:12:52 > 0:12:54There were lots of Christophers born,
0:12:54 > 0:12:56so Christopher became the most popular name for boys
0:12:56 > 0:12:58born in England and Wales that year, which was '84.
0:12:58 > 0:13:01Jane, meanwhile, came in at number 86,
0:13:01 > 0:13:04beaten by Bolero, which came in at 85.
0:13:05 > 0:13:08Why will their scoring record never be beaten?
0:13:08 > 0:13:10Well, I presume they've changed the scoring system.
0:13:10 > 0:13:13They have changed the scoring system, absolutely.
0:13:13 > 0:13:15In 2002, there were claims of fixing,
0:13:15 > 0:13:17and as a result they changed it.
0:13:17 > 0:13:18Here's the official line on the new system.
0:13:33 > 0:13:35So I hope that's cleared that up.
0:13:36 > 0:13:38To me, that's honestly interesting.
0:13:38 > 0:13:41- I love all that sort of thing. - Do you?- Yeah, yeah.
0:13:41 > 0:13:43You see, for me it's just reminded me I need to trim my mean.
0:13:46 > 0:13:49Torvill and Dean, known for their passionate performances.
0:13:49 > 0:13:51Obviously there's been a lot of rumour about the two of them,
0:13:51 > 0:13:52did they, didn't they?
0:13:52 > 0:13:54The general public couldn't believe that two people
0:13:54 > 0:13:57who danced so intimately with each other weren't having sex.
0:13:57 > 0:13:59It's what's known as Strictly's Law.
0:14:01 > 0:14:02On Valentine's Day 1984,
0:14:02 > 0:14:05Torvill and Dean took the world by storm
0:14:05 > 0:14:07with their iconic Bolero routine at the Winter Olympics.
0:14:07 > 0:14:0924 million people in the UK tuned in to watch,
0:14:09 > 0:14:12as the couple received a standing ovation from the audience,
0:14:12 > 0:14:15and every judge gave them full marks for artistic impression.
0:14:15 > 0:14:17That's a big TV audience, Suzannah,
0:14:17 > 0:14:19is that up there with the greats?
0:14:19 > 0:14:22I think the biggest ever was for 1966, the World Cup,
0:14:22 > 0:14:24England defeating West Germany.
0:14:24 > 0:14:26It was something like 32 million.
0:14:26 > 0:14:27No, it was 4-2.
0:14:30 > 0:14:32But in terms of TV broadcasts,
0:14:32 > 0:14:34so you've got 1966 in the '60s,
0:14:34 > 0:14:36in the '70s, it was Apollo 13.
0:14:36 > 0:14:39What did Den and Angie, wasn't that one of the big ones?
0:14:39 > 0:14:41I think it was 28 million, Den and Ange.
0:14:41 > 0:14:42The biggest ever terrestrial TV audience.
0:14:42 > 0:14:44- Was it?- Mm.- Oh, you're such a nerd, I love it.
0:14:44 > 0:14:47- What did they do? - Well, they were dancing on ice...
0:14:49 > 0:14:52It was when Den gave Angie the divorce papers on EastEnders.
0:14:52 > 0:14:54- That was it?- Yeah, I don't want to give it...
0:14:54 > 0:14:56Listen, if you haven't got that far through the series,
0:14:56 > 0:14:59I'm sorry to have spoiled it for you...
0:14:59 > 0:15:01In 2006, they joined the line-up of Dancing on Ice,
0:15:01 > 0:15:03and once more took the world by storm.
0:15:03 > 0:15:06Their main job on Dancing on Ice was to train celebrities,
0:15:06 > 0:15:08with, let's be honest, mixed results.
0:15:08 > 0:15:10Now I'm sure you've seen this clip, but...
0:15:10 > 0:15:12- Is it Todd Carty?- I'm going to play it again.- Oh, yes.
0:15:12 > 0:15:15I think we all need to see it. Enjoy.
0:15:15 > 0:15:22# Help me get my feet back on the ground
0:15:23 > 0:15:27# Won't you please, please help me
0:15:27 > 0:15:31# Help me, help me! #
0:15:34 > 0:15:35LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:15:36 > 0:15:39Oh, my goodness, that is, honestly, if I'm ever on Dancing on Ice,
0:15:39 > 0:15:42then you will not believe the size of my tax bill.
0:15:44 > 0:15:46All right, time to play for the Jane.
0:15:46 > 0:15:49Torvill and Dean have been commemorated in many ways,
0:15:49 > 0:15:53but how are they commemorated in their hometown of Nottingham?
0:15:53 > 0:15:54They've got trams named after them.
0:15:54 > 0:15:56- Not trams.- Buses.
0:15:56 > 0:15:57- No.- Trains.
0:15:57 > 0:15:58- No.- A mode of transport.
0:15:58 > 0:16:00Not a mode of transport. LAUGHTER
0:16:00 > 0:16:01Is it a building of some sort?
0:16:01 > 0:16:04Not a building, it's even more expansive than that.
0:16:04 > 0:16:06- Roads?- I'll give you that, yes,
0:16:06 > 0:16:09it's got an estate with road names in it such as Dean Close,
0:16:09 > 0:16:12Christopher Close, Torvill Drive,
0:16:12 > 0:16:14Jane Close and Bolero Close.
0:16:14 > 0:16:16And there it is on the map.
0:16:16 > 0:16:18And there's They Were Definitely Doing It Crescent.
0:16:20 > 0:16:22Congratulations, Richard's team, you win the Jane.
0:16:22 > 0:16:24- Oh, great. Well done, Richard. - APPLAUSE
0:16:26 > 0:16:31- All right, Joshy, your turn.- Please can we have a Wild West-y Jane?
0:16:31 > 0:16:34It's Wild West legend, hard-living, hard-drinking,
0:16:34 > 0:16:36hard-as-nails frontiers woman, Calamity Jane,
0:16:36 > 0:16:38portrayed here by Doris Day.
0:16:38 > 0:16:40Let's look at her stats.
0:16:51 > 0:16:53Calamity Jane was a self-proclaimed legend of the American West
0:16:53 > 0:16:55at the end of the 19th century,
0:16:55 > 0:16:58of course best-known thanks to the eponymous 1953 musical.
0:16:58 > 0:17:02Now, Doris Day's depiction wasn't particularly true to life.
0:17:02 > 0:17:03Here's Doris Day,
0:17:03 > 0:17:05and here's the real Calamity Jane.
0:17:05 > 0:17:06- Oh, wow... - LAUGHTER
0:17:08 > 0:17:131876, Jane wound up in the town of Deadwood, South Dakota.
0:17:13 > 0:17:15- Why do people go there?- Gold.
0:17:15 > 0:17:17Yes, there was a gold rush.
0:17:17 > 0:17:19People will do anything for gold.
0:17:19 > 0:17:20Apart from go to Channel 4.
0:17:21 > 0:17:22LAUGHTER
0:17:22 > 0:17:25APPLAUSE
0:17:25 > 0:17:28It's a pyrrhic victory, lads, don't applaud it, pyrrhic victory.
0:17:28 > 0:17:33The land belonged to the Native American people until 1874,
0:17:33 > 0:17:35when gold was found in Deadwood Gulch,
0:17:35 > 0:17:36and a frenzy for gold digging started.
0:17:36 > 0:17:42The year Jane arrived, 1.5 million worth of gold was mined.
0:17:42 > 0:17:45So presumably the population just swelled in these towns?
0:17:45 > 0:17:48Yeah, but the thing is, actually, it was all a hype.
0:17:48 > 0:17:51Most of the people who got rich during the gold rush
0:17:51 > 0:17:52didn't get rich from digging at all.
0:17:52 > 0:17:54Basically, there's a guy called Sam Brannan,
0:17:54 > 0:17:55who was a good example.
0:17:55 > 0:18:00He owned the only mining supply shop between San Francisco
0:18:00 > 0:18:02and some mining fields, so in the late 1840s,
0:18:02 > 0:18:04he went out into the streets of San Francisco,
0:18:04 > 0:18:06and said that gold had been discovered,
0:18:06 > 0:18:08and he bought a sort of bottle of gold dust along,
0:18:08 > 0:18:12but what he'd done is he bought up every pickaxe and pan and shovel
0:18:12 > 0:18:13in the local vicinity,
0:18:13 > 0:18:16and so everybody rushed to try and find gold,
0:18:16 > 0:18:19and he'd bought, you know, the pan for, sort of, 20 cents or something,
0:18:19 > 0:18:20and he sold it for 15,
0:18:20 > 0:18:22so he made an absolute killing.
0:18:22 > 0:18:24He was the first millionaire of the gold rush.
0:18:24 > 0:18:26But it's people like that who were making the money,
0:18:26 > 0:18:28- not the actual gold-diggers. - Enterprising, smart.
0:18:28 > 0:18:31- Love that.- Good. - And around 1899,
0:18:31 > 0:18:32Calamity Jane started performing
0:18:32 > 0:18:34in the increasingly popular Wild West shows,
0:18:34 > 0:18:36the biggest of which was Buffalo Bill's.
0:18:36 > 0:18:38Now does anybody know what her act entailed?
0:18:38 > 0:18:42I think I know something about her, but it might not be right.
0:18:42 > 0:18:44So did she shoot things off people?
0:18:44 > 0:18:48- Mainly, she would just tell fabricated stories.- OK...
0:18:48 > 0:18:50She was just sort of a boozy raconteur...
0:18:50 > 0:18:53Imagine, I suppose, like a female Gyles Brandreth on horseback.
0:18:56 > 0:18:59All right, listen, it is time to play for the Jane.
0:18:59 > 0:19:01Now obviously the most recent depiction of Calamity Jane
0:19:01 > 0:19:03is on the television series, Deadwood.
0:19:03 > 0:19:05The programme was known for its huge amount of swearing,
0:19:05 > 0:19:09the F-word was uttered 43 times in the first hour.
0:19:09 > 0:19:11Now in fact that would not have been a typical swearword of the time,
0:19:11 > 0:19:14they used words which have now largely disappeared from use,
0:19:14 > 0:19:15so your question is,
0:19:15 > 0:19:19which of these is not a Wild Western swearword?
0:19:24 > 0:19:27Well, Crempog, that was a signature bake, wasn't it, one week, on...
0:19:31 > 0:19:33You're looking for the ones that sounds slightly biblical,
0:19:33 > 0:19:36and the rest of them, they're all, for me...
0:19:36 > 0:19:38We're going to say that Crempog is not a real swearword.
0:19:38 > 0:19:40You're saying that Crempog is not a real swearword?
0:19:40 > 0:19:43- Josh's team, what do you reckon? - I think you're onto something there,
0:19:43 > 0:19:46I think it's ones where they've taken, like, Jesus, or damn,
0:19:46 > 0:19:47or whatever, and they've made it, like, dang,
0:19:47 > 0:19:49and tried to make it more acceptable.
0:19:49 > 0:19:51What are you going to plump for?
0:19:51 > 0:19:53I think we're going to go with Blam-Jam.
0:19:53 > 0:19:54Let's have a look.
0:19:54 > 0:19:57Absolutely right, Richard. Well done. Bravo.
0:19:57 > 0:19:59APPLAUSE
0:20:02 > 0:20:04I'll tell you what,
0:20:04 > 0:20:06even better, you were on the money,
0:20:06 > 0:20:08it is something that could potentially have featured
0:20:08 > 0:20:11in the technical challenge of Bake Off, it's a Welsh pancake.
0:20:11 > 0:20:14- No!- It's a kind of Welsh pancake. - Wow.
0:20:14 > 0:20:17Well done, and dang my melt, because Richard's team,
0:20:17 > 0:20:19you win the dodgasted, blam-jam Jane.
0:20:19 > 0:20:20Well done.
0:20:20 > 0:20:21APPLAUSE
0:20:25 > 0:20:28Time now to fire up our Jane-flavoured fruit machine,
0:20:28 > 0:20:30so each time I spin, up are going to pop three of my favourite Janes.
0:20:30 > 0:20:31Our teams must match
0:20:31 > 0:20:33the extraordinary fact to the extraordinary Jane,
0:20:33 > 0:20:36and a chance to unearth more candidates
0:20:36 > 0:20:37for the greatest Jane of all time.
0:20:37 > 0:20:38So, let's spin.
0:20:38 > 0:20:41First up we've got Frasier star, Jane Leeves,
0:20:41 > 0:20:44work-out wonder, Jane Fonda,
0:20:44 > 0:20:46and Little Voice star, Jane Horrocks.
0:20:46 > 0:20:47The question is:
0:20:47 > 0:20:50which Jane was wrongly arrested for drug smuggling?
0:20:50 > 0:20:53That implies that two of them were rightly...
0:20:56 > 0:20:58What do you think? Maybe Jane Fonda, maybe, because, you know, she was,
0:20:58 > 0:21:01the authorities didn't like her at all in the States, as well,
0:21:01 > 0:21:03- so maybe...- Oh, OK, so that would be a reason to...
0:21:03 > 0:21:05So I wonder if maybe she was fitted up...
0:21:05 > 0:21:07- Yeah.- Yeah.- Possible, shall we try that?- Yeah, let's do it.
0:21:07 > 0:21:09OK. We'll go with Jane Fonda, please.
0:21:09 > 0:21:11You're going to go with Jane Fonda. Josh's team?
0:21:11 > 0:21:14Jane Horrocks, who is amazing,
0:21:14 > 0:21:16- absolutely brilliant... - Absolutely Fabulous, I'd say.
0:21:16 > 0:21:18Absolutely Fabulous!
0:21:18 > 0:21:21I don't think it's going to be Jane Horrocks.
0:21:21 > 0:21:24Jane Leeves was, for a number of years,
0:21:24 > 0:21:26the best paid British actress in the world, wasn't she?
0:21:26 > 0:21:28- Oh, was she?- Yeah.- Yeah. Did you know she used to be
0:21:28 > 0:21:31- a Benny Hill girl?- Oh, but if Jane Leeves was a Benny Hill girl,
0:21:31 > 0:21:34- maybe she has, like...- What, she went running through, going...
0:21:34 > 0:21:35HUMS BENNY HILL THEME
0:21:37 > 0:21:39Let's go with when she was a Benny Hill girl,
0:21:39 > 0:21:43she ran through customs to a comedy tune, and got caught.
0:21:43 > 0:21:45- Jane Leeves.- Jane Leeves, it is.
0:21:45 > 0:21:46All right, let's see the answer.
0:21:46 > 0:21:49- Oh...- Well done, Richard's team, Jane Fonda,
0:21:49 > 0:21:52arrested at Cleveland airport in 1970.
0:21:52 > 0:21:54Customs officers thought the pills she was carrying,
0:21:54 > 0:21:57which were labelled B, L and D, were drugs.
0:21:57 > 0:21:59But in fact they were vitamins,
0:21:59 > 0:22:02and the labels stood simply for breakfast, lunch and dinner.
0:22:03 > 0:22:05But well done, Richard, you win the Jane.
0:22:05 > 0:22:06APPLAUSE
0:22:09 > 0:22:11So let's spin again. We've got:
0:22:11 > 0:22:14actor, and Je T'Aime singer, Jane Birkin,
0:22:14 > 0:22:17cruise ship singer, Jane McDonald,
0:22:17 > 0:22:18and one half of the Krankies...
0:22:18 > 0:22:20LAUGHTER
0:22:20 > 0:22:22- There's my girl, Janette Krankie. - Finally!
0:22:24 > 0:22:27Who was once swept across the English Channel
0:22:27 > 0:22:28while having sex?
0:22:28 > 0:22:31My initial thought is Janette Krankie.
0:22:31 > 0:22:34They released an autobiography, and there was lots of, kind of,
0:22:34 > 0:22:36sexual confessions, wasn't there?
0:22:36 > 0:22:38- The Krankies.- Why are you looking at everyone like we've read it?
0:22:38 > 0:22:39LAUGHTER
0:22:39 > 0:22:41You're on your own here, Josh.
0:22:41 > 0:22:43"Hey, I'm not the only one that's fascinated with the sex life
0:22:43 > 0:22:46"of the Krankies, am I? Guys, guys?!"
0:22:46 > 0:22:48Who is the first one, the singer, because I don't know her.
0:22:48 > 0:22:50Jane Birkin, who sang Je T'Aime.
0:22:50 > 0:22:53Get them to answer, because I have some information about Jane Birkin,
0:22:53 > 0:22:55which might become apposite.
0:22:55 > 0:22:56Oh, did she like doing it at sea?
0:22:56 > 0:22:58Maybe she does, maybe she doesn't.
0:22:58 > 0:23:00OK, let's go for Jane Birkin.
0:23:00 > 0:23:03We're not falling for that, that's the oldest trick in the book.
0:23:03 > 0:23:05We definitely have to go with the Krankie.
0:23:05 > 0:23:09I think Jane McDonald is too obvious, because she works on boats.
0:23:09 > 0:23:10Jane Birkin...
0:23:10 > 0:23:12Sings about sex, and is French...
0:23:13 > 0:23:14- Krankie.- Krankie, it is.
0:23:14 > 0:23:17OK, Richard's team, now you've got some pertinent information on...
0:23:17 > 0:23:19Oh, well, no, only the information we had here, which is,
0:23:19 > 0:23:22you know, she had a career which was between England and France.
0:23:22 > 0:23:23Oh, you acted like you had gossip.
0:23:25 > 0:23:27I genuinely love the thought, because,
0:23:27 > 0:23:29honestly, the Krankies, growing up, were a huge deal.
0:23:29 > 0:23:31It is so amazing to think of this life
0:23:31 > 0:23:33that they had behind the scenes.
0:23:33 > 0:23:35It's like when you hear behind-the-scenes stories
0:23:35 > 0:23:37of Swap Shop. They blow your mind.
0:23:37 > 0:23:39Why don't you guys try and make the backstage a bit livelier here?
0:23:42 > 0:23:43Well, if I tell you now,
0:23:43 > 0:23:45we have a kettle, and we have...
0:23:46 > 0:23:48Come round to mine, ladies.
0:23:49 > 0:23:52But Jane McDonald, well, the sort of person who would be working...
0:23:52 > 0:23:55Yes, or maybe met up with someone on a yacht.
0:23:55 > 0:23:57- Or a P&O ferry. - Or a li-lo. Oh...
0:23:58 > 0:24:00- A li-lo! - So shall we say Jane McDonald?
0:24:00 > 0:24:03- I think so, yes.- Yep. We're going to go Jane McDonald, Sue.
0:24:03 > 0:24:05You're going to go for Jane McDonald,
0:24:05 > 0:24:07- let's see the right answer. - Oh...- It's wee Janette.
0:24:11 > 0:24:12Janette said...
0:24:20 > 0:24:22Talk about being blown across the Channel.
0:24:27 > 0:24:30Well done, Josh's team, you win the Jane.
0:24:30 > 0:24:31APPLAUSE
0:24:33 > 0:24:35Right everybody, let's play Finish The Fact.
0:24:35 > 0:24:37I'm going to start by reading out a Jane based gem,
0:24:37 > 0:24:39and you buzz in when you think you know how it ends.
0:24:39 > 0:24:42First up, we've got actor and former Bond girl, Jane Seymour.
0:24:49 > 0:24:50He was a method actor.
0:24:53 > 0:24:54He wanted to see more?
0:24:55 > 0:24:57Oh!
0:24:57 > 0:24:59I loved you in Doctor Quinn, Medicine Woman.
0:25:01 > 0:25:03Did he tell her the Arsenal score even though he knew she was...
0:25:03 > 0:25:05LAUGHTER
0:25:06 > 0:25:08Go easy on my golden balls.
0:25:09 > 0:25:11Sorry, I don't have an answer
0:25:11 > 0:25:13but she is the only actor to play a Bond girl
0:25:13 > 0:25:15whose name actually sounds like a Bond girl.
0:25:15 > 0:25:16- Oh, yeah.- Yes.
0:25:16 > 0:25:18Jane Seymour. You could have that as a Bond girl...
0:25:18 > 0:25:21- You certainly could, yeah. - Only James Bond who sounds like...
0:25:21 > 0:25:23Oh, yeah, he had the same name all the time.
0:25:23 > 0:25:25He could also be a Bond girl, Roger Moore.
0:25:25 > 0:25:27Yeah, Roger Moore, yeah, it's perfect.
0:25:27 > 0:25:30- He could be a Bond girl. - Roger Moore and Jane Seymour!
0:25:41 > 0:25:43Just from experience, put on Lynx Africa.
0:25:47 > 0:25:50Was it eat a bag of pickled onion Monster Munch?
0:25:50 > 0:25:52I'm going to give it to you cos you said it. It's liver and onions.
0:25:52 > 0:25:54Liver and onions.
0:25:54 > 0:25:56But well done, Josh's team,
0:25:56 > 0:25:57you win the Jane.
0:25:57 > 0:25:58APPLAUSE
0:26:01 > 0:26:05Right, next we've got third wife of Henry VIII, Jane Seymour.
0:26:05 > 0:26:06According to legend...
0:26:11 > 0:26:13Tower of London gift shop.
0:26:15 > 0:26:17Santander 123 savings account.
0:26:20 > 0:26:23No, something she wore, wore around her neck.
0:26:23 > 0:26:25- A locket?- A locket, indeed.
0:26:25 > 0:26:27Containing a portrait of Henry VIII...
0:26:28 > 0:26:29..did what?
0:26:29 > 0:26:31Took it to Cash For Gold.
0:26:33 > 0:26:35Sucked the locket until she got to the sweet.
0:26:37 > 0:26:39The nice honey bit.
0:26:39 > 0:26:40- Lost her head. - GROANS
0:26:41 > 0:26:42Too soon.
0:26:47 > 0:26:48I think this was an apocryphal story,
0:26:48 > 0:26:50- is that right, Suzannah?- Yeah...
0:26:50 > 0:26:51I'd say it's bollocks, yeah.
0:26:53 > 0:26:55It takes a historian to give the proper context.
0:26:57 > 0:26:59That's your book, isn't it? Bollocks In The Olden Days.
0:27:00 > 0:27:02It should sell really well.
0:27:03 > 0:27:06I think this is something that was written down about 100 years later
0:27:06 > 0:27:08and even the person who writes it down, says,
0:27:08 > 0:27:10oh, it's a traditional story, so it's hearsay.
0:27:10 > 0:27:14But things that are true about Jane is that she was described by
0:27:14 > 0:27:18the Spanish ambassador as being a woman who was not of great wit
0:27:18 > 0:27:22and not of great beauty, and haughty and rather proud, so...
0:27:22 > 0:27:24He still tweets me as well.
0:27:27 > 0:27:28Sadly no-one wins the Jane,
0:27:28 > 0:27:30and we've come to the end of the show,
0:27:30 > 0:27:32and I can tell you that tonight's winners,
0:27:32 > 0:27:34with the most Janes,
0:27:34 > 0:27:35Richard's team.
0:27:35 > 0:27:39APPLAUSE
0:27:43 > 0:27:44Listen, big moment for you, Richard.
0:27:44 > 0:27:47Who are you going to name as the greatest Jane of all time?
0:27:47 > 0:27:49Well, I think that there'd be three different opinions
0:27:49 > 0:27:52amongst the three members of my team so I would go Janette Krankie,
0:27:52 > 0:27:54even more so after everything we've heard.
0:27:55 > 0:27:56I would assume Jane Austen, I think.
0:27:56 > 0:27:59Bear in mind, no, no, bear in mind everything I've heard this evening,
0:27:59 > 0:28:01I had not really heard of the Krankies before tonight,
0:28:01 > 0:28:03and the more I hear, the more I like them.
0:28:05 > 0:28:07I thought I was going to be the only one supporting the Krankies
0:28:07 > 0:28:10- in this thing.- You thought we were going to help you out of it.- I...
0:28:10 > 0:28:12No, I have to make an executive decision
0:28:12 > 0:28:14and say that history would judge us if we say Janette Krankie
0:28:14 > 0:28:16over Jane Austen. Listen, I love Fan Dabi Dozi,
0:28:16 > 0:28:19but you know, I think Pride And Prejudice in some ways
0:28:19 > 0:28:20will endure further.
0:28:23 > 0:28:26I think, maybe, so I think we should put Jane Austen into
0:28:26 > 0:28:30- the Hall Of Fame. - Well, a very worthy choice.
0:28:30 > 0:28:31Up she goes.
0:28:31 > 0:28:34I hereby declare Jane Austin is the best Jane of all time.
0:28:34 > 0:28:36APPLAUSE
0:28:36 > 0:28:38Thanks to all of our guests,
0:28:38 > 0:28:40special thanks to all the Janes here, there, and everywhere,
0:28:40 > 0:28:42but most of all, thanks to you at home for watching us.
0:28:42 > 0:28:43Good night.
0:28:43 > 0:28:45CHEERING AND APPLAUSE