0:00:24 > 0:00:27Well, hello to you, and welcome to Insert Name Here,
0:00:27 > 0:00:30the show where we discover surprising facts about people
0:00:30 > 0:00:33with just one thing in common - they've all got the same name.
0:00:33 > 0:00:35Joining me, six of my favourite people,
0:00:35 > 0:00:38each bringing their own unique names. Please welcome Hugh Dennis,
0:00:38 > 0:00:41Suzannah Lipscomb, and their team captain, Josh Widdicombe.
0:00:41 > 0:00:43And, on the other side, Phil Wang, Rebecca Front
0:00:43 > 0:00:45and their captain, Richard Osman.
0:00:45 > 0:00:47APPLAUSE
0:00:53 > 0:00:55- Phil, hello there. Welcome to the show.- Hi, Sue.
0:00:55 > 0:00:57- Thanks for having me. - You're always welcome.
0:00:57 > 0:00:59How did your parents choose the name Philip?
0:00:59 > 0:01:04My mum's side is of French and English and they wanted to call me
0:01:04 > 0:01:06Nathanial, but the French side of the family
0:01:06 > 0:01:10couldn't pronounce Nathanial, so being French, they gave up.
0:01:10 > 0:01:13And so they decided to choose another name
0:01:13 > 0:01:15by throwing a bunch of names in a hat...
0:01:15 > 0:01:19It's not a great idea, doing that. Especially if a label comes off.
0:01:19 > 0:01:20My sister's called Stetson.
0:01:20 > 0:01:22LAUGHTER
0:01:22 > 0:01:25And so my grandfather pulled out a name, and it was Philip,
0:01:25 > 0:01:28and so I became Philip Nathanial Wang,
0:01:28 > 0:01:31and then my Chinese name starts, Sin Goi.
0:01:31 > 0:01:34Philip Nathanial Wang Sin Hoi.
0:01:34 > 0:01:35- Goi. - Goi.
0:01:35 > 0:01:37Yeah, you just swore at me, actually.
0:01:37 > 0:01:39LAUGHTER
0:01:39 > 0:01:41Now to the all-important question of the day -
0:01:41 > 0:01:43which name is going to be featuring tonight?
0:01:43 > 0:01:46Well, they can be French kings or pop queens.
0:01:46 > 0:01:48You can skip to them or sit on them.
0:01:48 > 0:01:50Tonight's name is Lou.
0:01:50 > 0:01:53APPLAUSE
0:01:54 > 0:01:56So, as you may have guessed,
0:01:56 > 0:01:59we're going to be talking all kinds of Lous, including Louies,
0:01:59 > 0:02:03Lewises, Louises, and maybe even the odd Lulu along the way.
0:02:03 > 0:02:05Teams will be collecting as many Lous as they can.
0:02:05 > 0:02:08End of the show, the winning team will have the honour of deciding
0:02:08 > 0:02:11who is officially the greatest Lou of all time, and that person
0:02:11 > 0:02:14will be enrolled into our Insert Name Here Hall Of Fame.
0:02:14 > 0:02:17Now, Josh, any thoughts who your best Lou might be?
0:02:17 > 0:02:19I think...
0:02:19 > 0:02:22You know if someone defines a name when they don't need a surname?
0:02:22 > 0:02:26- Yeah. - Madonna, Cher, Beyonce.
0:02:26 > 0:02:29So I would just go with Lewis,
0:02:29 > 0:02:31who is Inspector Morse's assistant.
0:02:31 > 0:02:34That's a very good opening gambit. CROWD MURMUR AND LAUGH
0:02:34 > 0:02:37- Can I just say...?- That was a very excited, "Ooh," wasn't it?
0:02:37 > 0:02:40Except that was his surname.
0:02:40 > 0:02:42Do you know what? I've never watched it.
0:02:43 > 0:02:45- You should! Cos I was in it. - You were in it?!
0:02:45 > 0:02:48- RICHARD:- You were in Lewis? - How did you not know this?!
0:02:48 > 0:02:50- Oh, my God. - Why am I on?
0:02:50 > 0:02:52Why am I on here if you've never watched Lewis?
0:02:52 > 0:02:55- That's basically all I've done. - You're in every episode?
0:02:55 > 0:02:57I was in every episode, and you failed to watch a single one.
0:02:57 > 0:02:59I'm not going to lie to you,
0:02:59 > 0:03:01when I chose Lewis I didn't think it would backfire.
0:03:01 > 0:03:05so spectacularly in showing my lack of knowledge of one of the guests.
0:03:06 > 0:03:08Richard, how about you? Best Lou?
0:03:08 > 0:03:12Well, I'll go slightly classier, I'll go more historical,
0:03:12 > 0:03:15and I will say Louis of France.
0:03:15 > 0:03:17Which one do you want to pick? There's quite a few Louis.
0:03:17 > 0:03:21Well, funny you should ask that, cos there's 17 of them.
0:03:21 > 0:03:23So I've ranked them in order.
0:03:23 > 0:03:26Louis I is fifth, Louis II is eighth,
0:03:26 > 0:03:28Louis III is second, Louis IV is 11th,
0:03:28 > 0:03:31Louis V is third. I can go on if you'd like me to.
0:03:31 > 0:03:33What you don't realise, the joke's on you.
0:03:33 > 0:03:35Hugh was actually in the French royal family.
0:03:37 > 0:03:40I was in every episode!
0:03:40 > 0:03:42All right, listen, let's get on with the show.
0:03:42 > 0:03:44It's time to pick a Lou, any Lou you like.
0:03:44 > 0:03:47Our panellists choose a category, and behind each one lurks
0:03:47 > 0:03:49a famous Lou which our teams must then attempt to win.
0:03:49 > 0:03:51So, what have we got? We've got...
0:03:58 > 0:04:00Richard, we're going to start with you first.
0:04:00 > 0:04:03- Which one draws your eye there? - Let's go for Musical Lou.
0:04:03 > 0:04:06It's Irish pop impresario, the man behind Boyzone,
0:04:06 > 0:04:13West Life and Girls Aloud, but also Jedward, Louis Walsh.
0:04:13 > 0:04:17There he is, looking like a happy baked potato.
0:04:17 > 0:04:19Let's have a look at some of those stats.
0:04:29 > 0:04:32So, we know his success, Louis' success with Boyzone,
0:04:32 > 0:04:35but then he headed in a completely different direction with Westlife.
0:04:35 > 0:04:38Completely different. Completely different.
0:04:38 > 0:04:422014 - what did Louis strongly advise Boyzone to do?
0:04:42 > 0:04:43What was his recommendation?
0:04:43 > 0:04:45Fill in a tax return.
0:04:47 > 0:04:50State clearly the perimeters of the zone.
0:04:53 > 0:04:56What's the opposite of paying them loads of money and
0:04:56 > 0:04:58- keeping them in the business? - Sacking them.
0:04:58 > 0:05:00- He sued them. - He told them to quit.
0:05:00 > 0:05:02Rather lovingly! He said, yeah, his
0:05:02 > 0:05:04exact words were...
0:05:06 > 0:05:08Louis then popped his sailor hat back on,
0:05:08 > 0:05:11and headed straight back to The X Factor!
0:05:11 > 0:05:13Louis' big break, of course, in the UK was as a judge
0:05:13 > 0:05:15on Popstars The Rivals, but before that he was a judge
0:05:15 > 0:05:18on the Irish version of Popstars.
0:05:18 > 0:05:22The first series was won by the group Six. There they are.
0:05:22 > 0:05:24Why are they all wearing white? All of these bands wear white.
0:05:24 > 0:05:29- What is that?- It's cos he owns a dry cleaner in Dublin.
0:05:29 > 0:05:31- Cos it's a nightmare for laundry, white, isn't it?- Yeah.
0:05:31 > 0:05:34One pink sock, and his whole empire could come crumbling down.
0:05:40 > 0:05:43Six's line-up was supposed to include Girls Aloud's Nadine Coyle,
0:05:43 > 0:05:45but why didn't she make the final cut?
0:05:45 > 0:05:48She would only wear black?
0:05:48 > 0:05:51Cos she was going through a Goth phase.
0:05:51 > 0:05:54- She was too young, is the simple answer.- Oh.
0:05:54 > 0:05:57Here she is, cleverly covering her true age.
0:05:57 > 0:06:00Nadine Coyle, I'm from Larkhill in Derry.
0:06:00 > 0:06:05Erm, date of birth, 15th of the 6th, '85, making me a Gemini.
0:06:05 > 0:06:07And, erm...
0:06:07 > 0:06:12What date of birth did I say now? 15th of the 6th...?
0:06:12 > 0:06:15First rule of showbiz - lie about your age,
0:06:15 > 0:06:18as I was just saying at my 30th birthday the other day.
0:06:18 > 0:06:21Nadine realised she was two years out, tried to give the date
0:06:21 > 0:06:23another go. Needless to say, she was rumbled,
0:06:23 > 0:06:24and then kicked off the show.
0:06:24 > 0:06:27Well, luckily Nadine didn't have to wait too long before getting
0:06:27 > 0:06:29another chance with Girls Aloud. What are they wearing?
0:06:29 > 0:06:32- There you are! - There we go.- Perfect.
0:06:32 > 0:06:36Is it the same white outfits, but they're just slowly wearing away?
0:06:36 > 0:06:39I could lie about my age, but I can't actually see that picture.
0:06:43 > 0:06:46Yeah. No, I see what you mean now. Yeah.
0:06:46 > 0:06:49Time now to play for the Lou.
0:06:49 > 0:06:52So, Louis Walsh has launched many musical careers.
0:06:52 > 0:06:57Which non-musician did he produce a single with in the '90s?
0:06:57 > 0:07:00- Non-musician? - A non-musician.
0:07:00 > 0:07:02Was it Westlife?
0:07:02 > 0:07:04- This guy's a sportsman. - Is it Jack Charlton?
0:07:04 > 0:07:06Footballer turned manager.
0:07:06 > 0:07:08- Mick McCarthy. - Yes, Mick McCarthy!
0:07:08 > 0:07:10Ah, yeah. Mick McCarthy released a single?!
0:07:10 > 0:07:11Yes, he did!
0:07:11 > 0:07:14Don't know why I suddenly went really high-pitched then.
0:07:14 > 0:07:18In 1991, McCarthy recorded a duet with Irish singer Linda Martin,
0:07:18 > 0:07:20Did You Ever?
0:07:20 > 0:07:22You can see what's wrong there - he's not wearing white.
0:07:23 > 0:07:26Does anybody want to have a listen to Mick McCarthy in full flow?
0:07:26 > 0:07:28- Yes, please. - Yes.- Then let's do it.
0:07:28 > 0:07:34- # Did you ever? - # Not so much that you could notice
0:07:36 > 0:07:40- # Could you estimate how many? - # Eight or nine
0:07:45 > 0:07:47# Will you do it any more?
0:07:47 > 0:07:50# I will do it as you walk out the door
0:07:50 > 0:07:54# Well, I just wonder, did you ever?
0:07:54 > 0:07:57# All the time. #
0:07:57 > 0:08:00It's the sort of thing they'd play at a cult induction, isn't it?
0:08:00 > 0:08:04Marvellous. Well done, Richard. You win the Lou.
0:08:04 > 0:08:07- Lovely. - APPLAUSE
0:08:10 > 0:08:12- Josh, it's your turn.- OK.
0:08:12 > 0:08:14You know what you've got left, you've got a royal Lou,
0:08:14 > 0:08:17- a fast Lou or a Victorian Lou. - So...
0:08:17 > 0:08:21My theory, you're a historian. It's going to be Royal Lou.
0:08:21 > 0:08:24- Louis XIV. I don't have to do anything then.- Sounds good to me.
0:08:24 > 0:08:28All right. You have picked Royal Lou.
0:08:28 > 0:08:30It's the Sun King himself, Louis XIV.
0:08:30 > 0:08:31Let's have a look at his stats.
0:08:44 > 0:08:47Louis lived from 1638 to 1715.
0:08:47 > 0:08:51He became king at the tender age of four. There he is.
0:08:51 > 0:08:57His first act of course was famously to knight Bob the Builder.
0:08:57 > 0:08:59Are you certain he's four?
0:08:59 > 0:09:03Because that T-shirt he's wearing says that he's five.
0:09:09 > 0:09:12What was unusual about Louis as a baby?
0:09:12 > 0:09:14He became king?
0:09:15 > 0:09:18He's a kid at the Burger King party whose crown is real.
0:09:18 > 0:09:19- Yeah! - Yeah.
0:09:22 > 0:09:24- Sorry, he became king at four? - He did, yeah.
0:09:24 > 0:09:28Could we have a four-year-old...? Say the Queen, Prince Charles
0:09:28 > 0:09:31and Prince William decided to abdicate -
0:09:31 > 0:09:34- could we have a four-year-old king? - Yeah.- It would be fun watching
0:09:34 > 0:09:37Theresa May ask a four-year-old if she can form a Government.
0:09:39 > 0:09:41What was unusual about him as a baby?
0:09:41 > 0:09:44- Three feet. - No.- Four feet.
0:09:44 > 0:09:47He was born with two front teeth. Straight off the bat, he had...
0:09:47 > 0:09:49- What, like a rabbit? - Yeah.
0:09:49 > 0:09:52Exactly. His first words were, "What's up, Doc?"
0:09:53 > 0:09:59And interestingly, suddenly, royal wet nurse - not such a popular job.
0:09:59 > 0:10:03You kind of side saddle it, like he's smoking a cigar, couldn't you?
0:10:07 > 0:10:10APPLAUSE
0:10:10 > 0:10:13Lou was famous for making Versailles the most opulent palace in Europe.
0:10:13 > 0:10:17He was short - 5' 4. How did he try and overcome this?
0:10:17 > 0:10:20There's nothing... That's not short!
0:10:20 > 0:10:22Let's retake that.
0:10:22 > 0:10:26Louis was tall, Josh - 5' 4.
0:10:26 > 0:10:29Well, he probably was quite tall for the time, wasn't he?
0:10:29 > 0:10:31What was the average height of a French...?
0:10:31 > 0:10:33He was still a little underpowered for the time.
0:10:33 > 0:10:36Can I just say? I have realised that I'm the only one
0:10:36 > 0:10:39who's been given a cushion to sit on.
0:10:45 > 0:10:47I'm in a trench.
0:10:51 > 0:10:55So, Lou was short - 5' 4. How did he try and overcome this?
0:10:55 > 0:10:57Wanted to be taller and more regal and more imposing.
0:10:57 > 0:11:01Did he get an extra long robe and stand on a box?
0:11:01 > 0:11:04- He stood on... Think Tom Cruise. - Built-up shoes.
0:11:04 > 0:11:06Not that I'm saying Tom Cruise wears built-up shoes,
0:11:06 > 0:11:08- cos I don't know. - He does. I'm going to say that.
0:11:08 > 0:11:11There's far more libellous things you could say about Tom Cruise.
0:11:11 > 0:11:14Here's a typical example of one of the built-up shoes
0:11:14 > 0:11:16that Louis used to wear. That's either elaborate decoration
0:11:16 > 0:11:19or a fungal problem gone way out of control.
0:11:19 > 0:11:21What was one of Louis' favourite pastimes?
0:11:21 > 0:11:24- He did like to eat. - Did he?- Yeah.
0:11:24 > 0:11:26- He was gluttonous, wasn't he? - For a small man,
0:11:26 > 0:11:29- he ate an awful lot. - Presumably quite gouty, as well.
0:11:29 > 0:11:30They're all quite gouty, weren't they?
0:11:30 > 0:11:33Yeah. I mean, he suffered all sorts of terrible illnesses. He had a...
0:11:33 > 0:11:36He had a fistula on his bottom for quite a period of time.
0:11:36 > 0:11:38You actually smiled when you said fistula.
0:11:38 > 0:11:41- But it's very, it's very funny... - What's a fistula?
0:11:41 > 0:11:43I don't think I know what a fistula is. It doesn't sound good...
0:11:43 > 0:11:45If I went to a doctor, and he said "You have a fistula",
0:11:45 > 0:11:48I would not be thinking, "This sounds like good news."
0:11:48 > 0:11:50- So he had a pussy bottom. - He had a pussy bottom,
0:11:50 > 0:11:52and he had an operation to have it taken off,
0:11:52 > 0:11:55and everybody else walked round, lots and lots of courtiers
0:11:55 > 0:11:58walked round with bandaged bottoms in order to look like
0:11:58 > 0:11:59they were in fashion with the king.
0:11:59 > 0:12:01Is that what that band were wearing?
0:12:04 > 0:12:07And they not only bandaged the bottom, but they bandaged the boobs
0:12:07 > 0:12:10out of respect for his nursemaids, who'd suffered a lot.
0:12:12 > 0:12:15Why did French nobles have a long left fingernail?
0:12:15 > 0:12:17Oh, was it for playing an instrument?
0:12:17 > 0:12:19- You'd think so. RICHARD:- But no.
0:12:19 > 0:12:22- It's not for picking your teeth or something hideous, is it?- No.
0:12:22 > 0:12:23- Ew! - Isn't it for...?
0:12:23 > 0:12:27- Rather than knocking, they scratched?- Is absolutely right!
0:12:27 > 0:12:30Absolutely right. It was considered bad manners to knock on the door.
0:12:30 > 0:12:32As in the old joke, "Scratch, scratch". "Who's there?"
0:12:32 > 0:12:36"King Louis. Open the door or I'll cut your head off."
0:12:36 > 0:12:39So you'd scratch, scratch, scratch, and only then once you'd been let in
0:12:39 > 0:12:42would you be allowed to go to the corner of the room and take a dump.
0:12:42 > 0:12:44Which of course is what happened, isn't it?
0:12:44 > 0:12:45They used to just wee and poo everywhere.
0:12:45 > 0:12:48It was like a student house?
0:12:48 > 0:12:51Did you wee on the floor in your student house?
0:12:51 > 0:12:52No!
0:12:55 > 0:12:59At the age of 22, Louis married Maria Theresa of Spain.
0:12:59 > 0:13:01What did he do the night before his wedding?
0:13:01 > 0:13:04- Got on the lash.- Probably cut his fingernail, I should think.
0:13:14 > 0:13:15Well, he didn't go on the lash,
0:13:15 > 0:13:17he went on a sort of gastronomic bender.
0:13:17 > 0:13:20- Can we think...? It's an aphrodisiac.- Oysters.
0:13:20 > 0:13:21Indeed.
0:13:21 > 0:13:24- You got to that very, very quickly. - Yes.
0:13:24 > 0:13:26Well, it's the only aphrodisiac I've ever heard of.
0:13:26 > 0:13:28Oh, "heard of"?
0:13:29 > 0:13:32All right, time to play for the Lou now.
0:13:32 > 0:13:35OK, lots of fads at their side, but what health craze
0:13:35 > 0:13:39became particularly popular in Louis' court?
0:13:39 > 0:13:40Zumba.
0:13:41 > 0:13:43Colonic irrigation.
0:13:43 > 0:13:46- You're not far off, you know. It was enemas.- Oh, OK.
0:13:46 > 0:13:49So the sort of more downscaled version of a colonic.
0:13:49 > 0:13:51Presumably, as you say,
0:13:51 > 0:13:53once he'd had an enema, they all had to have enemas.
0:13:53 > 0:13:56Yeah, there's... I think there's a story about a duchess having...
0:13:56 > 0:13:59I don't... I can't believe this is true, but there is the legend
0:13:59 > 0:14:03about a duchess having an enema whilst talking to the King,
0:14:03 > 0:14:07but her maid has just snuck up underneath her massive skirts
0:14:07 > 0:14:10and was giving her an enema at the time, cos it was so fashionable.
0:14:10 > 0:14:15Your Majesty, I've COME to talk to you about the...
0:14:15 > 0:14:17It wasn't the surprise enema. She'd asked for it.
0:14:17 > 0:14:19I imagine she'd asked for it, yeah.
0:14:19 > 0:14:22Oh, surprise enemas are the best, Josh.
0:14:22 > 0:14:25That's my new Saturday night TV show - Surprise Enema.
0:14:25 > 0:14:28- Josh Widdicombe's Surprise Enemas. - Surprise Surprise Enema.
0:14:28 > 0:14:30- Surprise Surprise Enema! - RICHARD:- And the theme tune is
0:14:30 > 0:14:33"Surprise, surprise, the unexpected hits you between..."
0:14:33 > 0:14:34Oh, no, hold on.
0:14:36 > 0:14:39He had so many enemas, Louis,
0:14:39 > 0:14:42that satirical engravings appeared, making fun of his obsession.
0:14:42 > 0:14:44- Wow. - Oh, wow.
0:14:45 > 0:14:46Extraordinary, that.
0:14:46 > 0:14:49Did they use that rolling pin for making croissants?
0:14:50 > 0:14:54I'm also not convinced that isn't a bicycle pump.
0:14:57 > 0:14:59Well done, Josh's team. You win the Lou.
0:14:59 > 0:15:01APPLAUSE
0:15:04 > 0:15:08OK, Richard's team, time to pick a Lou.
0:15:08 > 0:15:09We have...
0:15:11 > 0:15:13We'll go Fast Lou, please, Sue.
0:15:13 > 0:15:15All right, Fast Lou it is. You have chosen
0:15:15 > 0:15:19speed freak and motor racing megastar, Lewis Hamilton.
0:15:19 > 0:15:20Let's take a look at his stats.
0:15:31 > 0:15:33Born in Stevenage in 1985,
0:15:33 > 0:15:35does anybody know who Lewis is named after?
0:15:35 > 0:15:39- Lewis... Lennox Lewis.- Named after that famous detective, Lewis?
0:15:39 > 0:15:41Yeah. Oh, have you watched that? I love that show.
0:15:41 > 0:15:43Yeah, it's a great show, and there was seven series of it!
0:15:43 > 0:15:46- Do you know what? I don't buy that boss character.- No.
0:15:47 > 0:15:50He's actually named after the American athlete, Carl Lewis.
0:15:50 > 0:15:52- Oh. - Ah.
0:15:52 > 0:15:55Lewis's full name is Lewis Carl Davidson Hamilton.
0:15:55 > 0:16:00Davidson after Jim Davidson, the well-known promoter of civil rights.
0:16:00 > 0:16:02It's as a racing driver we know Lewis best.
0:16:02 > 0:16:04In 2015, Lewis's team-mate Nico Rosberg
0:16:04 > 0:16:08developed a trick for keeping cool during the Malaysian Grand Prix.
0:16:08 > 0:16:10- What was it? - Did he wind his window down?
0:16:12 > 0:16:15Think of a sanitary product, a female sanitary product.
0:16:15 > 0:16:20Oh, has he got a cold soaked tampon up there?
0:16:20 > 0:16:24- Up where?! - Up his, erm...
0:16:24 > 0:16:25Up his...? He doesn't have a cold anus.
0:16:25 > 0:16:28Oh, no, I see the flaw in this plan now, yeah.
0:16:28 > 0:16:31He had a sanitary pad, sanitary towel,
0:16:31 > 0:16:34and just sort of stuck it on his forehead. Like you do.
0:16:34 > 0:16:36What? During the race?
0:16:36 > 0:16:39- Yes. - But you can get cool pack things.
0:16:39 > 0:16:41- Yes, of course you can, I know that. - That's absurd.
0:16:41 > 0:16:43I know it's absurd, but that's what he did.
0:16:43 > 0:16:46Apparently, he said it soaked up the sweat and stopped it
0:16:46 > 0:16:49- trickling down his eyes. - Wow!
0:16:49 > 0:16:51As a Formula 1 driver, Lewis has to be fearless
0:16:51 > 0:16:54when driving at 200mph, but he does have
0:16:54 > 0:16:57one long-standing fear. Does anybody know what it is?
0:16:57 > 0:17:01Is it champagne? Is that why he always shoots it away?
0:17:01 > 0:17:02It's animal-based.
0:17:02 > 0:17:04- Spiders? - Bigger than spiders.
0:17:04 > 0:17:06- Snakes? - No.
0:17:06 > 0:17:07- Sharks. - Yes.
0:17:07 > 0:17:10- That's not really a fear. - It's not a fear that's going to
0:17:10 > 0:17:12stop him being an effective Formula 1 driver, is it?
0:17:12 > 0:17:15In fact, it helps, because that's all they say in his ear.
0:17:15 > 0:17:16"There's a shark behind you".
0:17:16 > 0:17:19"Lewis, there's a shark right behind you".
0:17:24 > 0:17:26Lewis thankfully doesn't have the same fear of
0:17:26 > 0:17:28other big predators. Here he is with a tiger.
0:17:32 > 0:17:34She's coming for me. She thinks I haven't seen...
0:17:41 > 0:17:43Just looking at that makes me want to sweat enough to put
0:17:43 > 0:17:46a sanitary towel on my head!
0:17:46 > 0:17:48But why is he not afraid of it?!
0:17:48 > 0:17:50What's his problem?
0:17:50 > 0:17:52Those sharks are now looking at each other, going...
0:17:55 > 0:17:59All right, it's time to play for the Lou now. Here's your question.
0:17:59 > 0:18:02Lewis has two bulldogs, named Roscoe and Coco.
0:18:02 > 0:18:06And that is some lazy ass dog walking right there.
0:18:06 > 0:18:09They've even got their own Instagram account, these dogs,
0:18:09 > 0:18:11with 140,000 followers.
0:18:11 > 0:18:13How many Instagram followers have you got, Josh?
0:18:13 > 0:18:16- 50,000?- No, you've got more. You've got 80,000.- Ooh!
0:18:16 > 0:18:19- So what have they got? - 140,000.
0:18:19 > 0:18:20Oh, crying out loud.
0:18:20 > 0:18:22- RICHARD:- About three or four times as much as you.
0:18:22 > 0:18:25But, you know, there's two of them, so...
0:18:25 > 0:18:28- Your maths isn't so good, is it? - Mm?- Three or four times as much.
0:18:28 > 0:18:31How many have you got? 80,000.
0:18:31 > 0:18:34Oh, 80,000. No, forgive me. It's my hearing, not my maths.
0:18:34 > 0:18:37Not so clever when you haven't got that laptop in front of you.
0:18:37 > 0:18:40LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:18:43 > 0:18:47So, in 2016, what rare honour did Lewis bestow on Roscoe?
0:18:47 > 0:18:51Did he let him hang his head out of the back of the racing car?
0:18:53 > 0:18:55Can you imagine?
0:18:55 > 0:18:57- JOSH:- That would be brilliant! Just for the final lap.
0:18:57 > 0:19:00You don't know he's in there for the whole race,
0:19:00 > 0:19:02and then he just pops out.
0:19:02 > 0:19:04The G-Force on that face!
0:19:07 > 0:19:10He... Well, this is for the Lou, so I'm going to...
0:19:10 > 0:19:13He preserved his lineage, let me say.
0:19:13 > 0:19:18- Did he freeze his semen?- He did indeed freeze his semen, yeah.
0:19:18 > 0:19:20Roscoe was getting snipped, but Lewis stated,
0:19:20 > 0:19:23"he's the best-looking dog," and because of that...
0:19:28 > 0:19:30LAUGHTER
0:19:33 > 0:19:37Well, listen, well done - you win the Lou, Josh. Well done.
0:19:37 > 0:19:38APPLAUSE
0:19:41 > 0:19:44Time now to fire up our Lou-flavoured fruit machine.
0:19:44 > 0:19:47Each time I spin, up pop three of my favourite Lous.
0:19:47 > 0:19:49Our teams must match the extraordinary fact
0:19:49 > 0:19:51to the extraordinary Lou.
0:19:51 > 0:19:53Also a chance to unearth more candidates for the greatest Lou
0:19:53 > 0:19:55of all time, and so let's spin.
0:19:57 > 0:20:00We have a South American camelid Louie the llama,
0:20:00 > 0:20:03African pachyderm Lulu the elephant,
0:20:03 > 0:20:06and Scottish hominid, Lulu the singer.
0:20:06 > 0:20:09Now, the question is which Lou stopped a collaboration
0:20:09 > 0:20:11between Michael Jackson and Freddie Mercury?
0:20:11 > 0:20:13Bit of a kick in the teeth for Lulu, isn't it?
0:20:13 > 0:20:16Watches the whole show hoping to be on it, and then it's one
0:20:16 > 0:20:19where she is compared to an elephant,
0:20:19 > 0:20:22- and I can't remember what the first animal was.- A llama.- Llama, yeah.
0:20:22 > 0:20:24- RICHARD:- Could have been worse, it could have been,
0:20:24 > 0:20:27"Which one of these did a poo on live TV?"
0:20:27 > 0:20:29- Yeah, it's a close run thing. - So...
0:20:29 > 0:20:34A llama... Well, Michael Jackson had a zoo...
0:20:34 > 0:20:36SUE AND RICHARD: # Ee-i-ee-i-o! #
0:20:36 > 0:20:38LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:20:43 > 0:20:46And on that zoo, he had what, Josh?
0:20:46 > 0:20:48I think Lulu...
0:20:48 > 0:20:52If she ruined a song with Freddie Mercury and Michael Jackson,
0:20:52 > 0:20:54meh, who cares?
0:20:54 > 0:20:57Elephants never forget, but they very rarely tell.
0:20:58 > 0:21:01Exactly. So if they were recording it
0:21:01 > 0:21:05at Neverland, which I imagine he had a studio at, then maybe
0:21:05 > 0:21:08one of the animals got loose and got into the recording studio?
0:21:08 > 0:21:10- Which animal?- The elephant.
0:21:10 > 0:21:13You're going to go for the elephant. How about you, Richard?
0:21:13 > 0:21:15- What do you think, Rebecca? - I think llama.
0:21:15 > 0:21:17I don't know why, but I'm thinking...
0:21:17 > 0:21:18I'm sure Jacko's got a llama, right?
0:21:18 > 0:21:21Yeah, it sort of feels right, doesn't it?
0:21:21 > 0:21:27There is a llama solo in Billie Jean. That would explain that.
0:21:27 > 0:21:29Also, the llama's wearing white, so Louis Walsh would
0:21:29 > 0:21:31- definitely sign him up. - Oh, yes.
0:21:31 > 0:21:33There we go, Louis Walsh signed the llama,
0:21:33 > 0:21:36made him sing alongside Freddie Mercury and Michael Jackson,
0:21:36 > 0:21:39and he didn't get off his stool during the chord change,
0:21:39 > 0:21:41ruined the whole thing.
0:21:41 > 0:21:43Well, the answer is...
0:21:43 > 0:21:45- the llama. Well done!- Yes!
0:21:45 > 0:21:47APPLAUSE Congratulations, Richard.
0:21:49 > 0:21:52Freddie made friends with Jacko in the early '80s,
0:21:52 > 0:21:54but plans to work together fell apart when Jackson insisted
0:21:54 > 0:21:56on showing up to work with Louis the llama.
0:21:56 > 0:21:59Freddie called his manager saying, "I'm recording with a llama,
0:21:59 > 0:22:01"I've had enough. I want to get out."
0:22:01 > 0:22:03Used to be black, that llama.
0:22:10 > 0:22:15Congratulations, because, Richard, you win Louis the llama, well done.
0:22:15 > 0:22:17APPLAUSE
0:22:20 > 0:22:24Let's spin again. You have got French bump feeler Louis Braille,
0:22:24 > 0:22:27Eternal singer, Louise Redknapp,
0:22:27 > 0:22:30And 15th century French King, Louis XI.
0:22:30 > 0:22:34Question is, which Lou invented a musical instrument?
0:22:34 > 0:22:37- Richard's team, who do you think? - What do you think?
0:22:37 > 0:22:40I think it might be Louis Braille, cos I wonder if maybe
0:22:40 > 0:22:42he invented an instrument that was easier to play...
0:22:42 > 0:22:45But also, all the great piano tuners are blind, all of them.
0:22:45 > 0:22:48- Right.- All the great ones in history, and that's...
0:22:48 > 0:22:51So I think it was possible he was around music or things like that.
0:22:51 > 0:22:53- Who are the great piano tuners? - Yeah.
0:22:53 > 0:22:56Stevie Wonder...
0:22:57 > 0:22:59So, do we think Louis Braille?
0:22:59 > 0:23:00Let's go with Louis Braille.
0:23:00 > 0:23:03- We are going to go Louis Braille, please, Sue.- All right.
0:23:03 > 0:23:07- Josh. - I can't imagine that Louise Redknapp
0:23:07 > 0:23:10has invented an instrument, otherwise I think I'd know about it.
0:23:10 > 0:23:13I've followed her career pretty closely.
0:23:13 > 0:23:17- And then Louis XI... - What do we know about Louis XI?
0:23:17 > 0:23:19He had very, very cold ears.
0:23:21 > 0:23:24I think it's probably Louis XI,
0:23:24 > 0:23:27because it's more likely that we'd never have heard of it.
0:23:27 > 0:23:29It feels like a sensible guess.
0:23:29 > 0:23:30We'll go with Louis XI.
0:23:30 > 0:23:31The answer is...
0:23:31 > 0:23:34- ..Louis XI.- Oh, man! - APPLAUSE
0:23:34 > 0:23:37Now, Louis commissioned an extraordinary musical instrument
0:23:37 > 0:23:41called the Piganino, or the Swineway.
0:23:41 > 0:23:45The different notes were made by spikes poking a series
0:23:45 > 0:23:49of differently sized pigs, as shown by this evocative illustration.
0:23:51 > 0:23:54So can I just point out this is a prototype?
0:23:54 > 0:23:57We don't think it was ever - thank God - actually made.
0:23:57 > 0:23:59That's why we still fork our sausages, even now.
0:24:02 > 0:24:05Well done, guys. Well done, Josh's team, you win the Lou. Well done.
0:24:05 > 0:24:08- APPLAUSE - Back in it.- Back in.
0:24:12 > 0:24:14Right, everybody, let's play Finish The Fact.
0:24:14 > 0:24:16I'm going to start by reading out a Lou-based gem.
0:24:16 > 0:24:19You buzz in when you think you know how it ends.
0:24:19 > 0:24:22First up, jazz legend Louis Armstrong.
0:24:26 > 0:24:28BUZZER
0:24:28 > 0:24:30Did he have a stash of those little plastic bags?
0:24:30 > 0:24:32I've always got a stash of those little plastic bags.
0:24:32 > 0:24:34- Oh, he hadn't done his 100ml... - That would be so useful.- Yeah.
0:24:34 > 0:24:37You want to travel with me, I've always got a stash.
0:24:37 > 0:24:38- No way. - Always got a stash.
0:24:38 > 0:24:41Just a little tip, Rebecca, when you are going through customs,
0:24:41 > 0:24:42don't say, "I've got a stash."
0:24:42 > 0:24:44That's where I've been going wrong!
0:24:44 > 0:24:46Did he help him by saying, "I know you think I'm
0:24:46 > 0:24:50"a terrible president, but you wait 40 years"?
0:24:54 > 0:24:55BUZZER
0:24:55 > 0:24:57..that Dizzy Gillespie was in it.
0:24:59 > 0:25:00BELL
0:25:00 > 0:25:03Did he not know that the bag contained cocaine?
0:25:03 > 0:25:06I'll give you that. It contained 3lb of marijuana.
0:25:06 > 0:25:08So it was drug-related, he didn't know.
0:25:08 > 0:25:11No wonder Armstrong's world was so wonderful!
0:25:13 > 0:25:17For a bonus Lou, what product did Louis Armstrong like so much,
0:25:17 > 0:25:19he advertised it for free?
0:25:19 > 0:25:21- BUZZER - Was it cocaine?
0:25:22 > 0:25:25If you think you're perhaps slightly tighter of bowel
0:25:25 > 0:25:27than you need to be, what would you take?
0:25:27 > 0:25:28BUZZER
0:25:28 > 0:25:30- Laxatives. - Laxatives, indeed, yes.
0:25:30 > 0:25:33He promoted a natural laxative called Swiss Kriss.
0:25:33 > 0:25:36Here he is, classily posed on the toilet.
0:25:36 > 0:25:38They should have called it, "Pooey Armstrong".
0:25:45 > 0:25:47Well, congratulations,
0:25:47 > 0:25:51because, Josh's team, you win the Louis Armstrong,
0:25:51 > 0:25:54but for a bonus, you got that right, obviously, about the laxatives,
0:25:54 > 0:25:57so Richard, you get King Louie from The Jungle Book.
0:25:57 > 0:26:00APPLAUSE
0:26:00 > 0:26:04Next up it's One Direction megastar turned solo performer,
0:26:04 > 0:26:05Louis Tomlinson.
0:26:09 > 0:26:10BUZZER
0:26:10 > 0:26:15"Sorry, we lied, there are other directions."
0:26:15 > 0:26:17BUZZER
0:26:17 > 0:26:19"Does anybody know why we're not wearing white?"
0:26:19 > 0:26:21BELL
0:26:21 > 0:26:25Is it, "Which one am I? I've only heard of Harry Styles"?
0:26:25 > 0:26:27He actually tweeted the words...
0:26:31 > 0:26:32BELL
0:26:32 > 0:26:34"Well, that's one direction."
0:26:42 > 0:26:44Someone who possibly doesn't know what relegation means.
0:26:44 > 0:26:46Oh. "Well done!"
0:26:46 > 0:26:49I'll give you that. She literally said...
0:26:54 > 0:26:56Well done, you have won the Lou. Well done.
0:26:56 > 0:26:58- Get in! - APPLAUSE
0:26:58 > 0:27:00Bit tight, this, isn't it? It's going to be close.
0:27:00 > 0:27:02Could go either way.
0:27:02 > 0:27:05So we've come to the end of the show, and I can tell you
0:27:05 > 0:27:08that tonight's winners with the most Lous...
0:27:08 > 0:27:09Josh's team! Well done.
0:27:09 > 0:27:14APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:27:16 > 0:27:18So, a very, very big moment.
0:27:18 > 0:27:21Josh and team, who are you going to nominate
0:27:21 > 0:27:23as the greatest Lou of all time?
0:27:23 > 0:27:27Do know what? The person I found most interesting and most fun
0:27:27 > 0:27:29has actually, surprisingly,
0:27:29 > 0:27:30been Louis XIV.
0:27:30 > 0:27:33Because he's the only person we've talked about tonight
0:27:33 > 0:27:34who makes me feel tall.
0:27:36 > 0:27:38- APPLAUSE - Yeah.
0:27:38 > 0:27:40I don't want it any more!
0:27:42 > 0:27:44Feels good.
0:27:45 > 0:27:46Has anybody seen Josh?
0:27:48 > 0:27:51- Josh, a very worthy choice. - Thank you.
0:27:51 > 0:27:54So let's put Louis XIV in the Insert Name Here Hall Of Fame.
0:27:54 > 0:27:56APPLAUSE
0:27:56 > 0:27:58There he is.
0:27:58 > 0:28:02And congratulations of course, but you, best of all,
0:28:02 > 0:28:07get to take home a prize. Louis Walsh's best work, this...
0:28:07 > 0:28:09The Mick McCarthy... It's very rare.
0:28:09 > 0:28:11- Oh, yes! - RICHARD:- No way!
0:28:11 > 0:28:13It's super, super rare.
0:28:13 > 0:28:15Have you got anything you can play it on?
0:28:18 > 0:28:20- And that's yours, well done. - Oh, wow!
0:28:20 > 0:28:24APPLAUSE
0:28:24 > 0:28:26My thanks to all of our guests,
0:28:26 > 0:28:28special thanks to all the Lous here, there and everywhere,
0:28:28 > 0:28:31but most of all, thanks so much to you at home for watching.
0:28:31 > 0:28:32Good night.
0:28:32 > 0:28:36APPLAUSE AND CHEERING